Friends! Lesbians! Queers! Good Straddlers of this land! Lend me your ears! The time has finally come to declare, once and for all, that love is not a lie! And lo, it shall never be a lie again! For Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are ENGAYGED TO BE MARRIED!
I’m sure more information will be available soon, but for now:
Bird and Rapinoe first announced their relationship in 2017. It was kind of just known, but finally someone asked Bird about it and she said, “I’m gay. Megan’s my girlfriend.” And that was that! In the nearly four years since then, they’ve become arguably the most famous lesbian couple on the planet, aided, weirdly, by Donald Trump, who took aim at Rapinoe during the 2019 World Cup, to which Bird responded with a blistering and loving essay and Rapinoe responded by… winning the World Cup. Then, this year, it was Bird’s turn to win a WNBA championship — the Seattle Storm and Bird’s fourth title — with Rapinoe by her side.
DANG I AM JUST SO GODDAMN HAPPY FOR THEM! These days are dark and this news is BRIGHT AS THE SUN THAT’S BACKLIGHTING MEGAN RAPINOE AS SHE SLIPS A RING ONTO SUE BIRD’S HAND! The only thing that could make me happier than this is confirmation that Rapinoe, like Ashlyn Harris, will wear sparkly soccer socks and a shorts tux at her wedding.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!
