At this point you probably know your love language, your astrological sign, maybe even your enneagram or your MBTI; so many ways to know about yourself and yet still not know why she hasn’t texted back yet! If you’re in therapy or therapy-adjacent, you might also be middlingly familiar with your attachment style; not really a personality type per se, it’s based more in attachment theory as it relates to how you developed as a child, and theorizes that behaviors you learned as a kid about how to try to have secure relationships with others in your family informs how you go about relationships with others as an adult. Woof! I know. Imagine how fun it was for the team when I cheerfully pressured them all to take this quiz about their attachment style and share their results with you all!
Is That a Secure Attachment or Are You Just Happy to See Me: All About Our Attachment Styles
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These reflections are great! When I think about attachment styles I like to make sure to 1) understand them as continuums, not y/n binaries and 2) remember that context matters and ‘your style’ might be different in different relationships- you might be pretty secure in a relationship with another pretty secure person, but a more anxious partner might push you into more avoidant territory or vice versa.
Archie, I loved what you said about trusting yourself in your choice of partners- that’s major. And Shelli, I had not thought of it this way but that is such a good point re: the adjustment process people go through as they realize they’re really in a ‘what you see is what you get’ situation.
also infinite lol at “so many ways to know about yourself and yet still not know why she hasn’t texted back yet”
I got 77% secure indicating that I am strongly attached to scoring highly in tests
Ha!
Who wrote this headline!!! Y’all are hilarious
Confident that I owe my 69% secure attachment score to my current partner. Pretty sure I entered this relationship on the dismissive-avoidant side of things.
nice
I find it super interesting that no one here score high on disorganized!
Personally, after reading up on this type, I feel simultaneously SEEN (in a positive way) and called out (in a negative way). A very characteristic disorganized response, in fact. 😂
same here!
I am basically every single attachment style, with it being 13 across three of the four, and one extra point towards Ambivalent/Anxious. I do not know what to do with this information, which may mean this is an accurate assessment.
I took the test for fun and honestly it’s impossible to answer because I’m so different with every person I date! I recently dated a girl on the autism spectrum and because I was making a lot of compromises to deal with her rigidity, I ended up being way more anxious/ambivalent than I normally would be, and not really recognising myself. The girl I dated before was the complete opposite. I got mainly “secure” but I really think it depends so much on the relationship you’re in, rather than just you. If you feel secure in the relationship, you’re more likely to have a secure approach to it. If you feel pestered, you’ll skew more towards avoidant; if you feel uncertain and need reassurance about it, you’re going to be more anxious.
Actually hihello said this earlier and better than I did, so never mind.