38 Inspirational Ways You Weirdos Described Your “Types”

Ari
Jan 30, 2018
COMMENT

Two weeks ago for the Friday Open Thread, I asked you what your “type” is and my friends, you did not let me down! It felt like a 90s slumber party with 150 of my best friends and I can’t wait to hang out with you again soon in an open thread! You all were so specific and earnest and honestly, I’m inspired to seriously hone in on who I want to crush on from now on. Thank you so much for your contribution to last week’s thread, and for your pleasure, here are 38 of the ones that inspired me to go out there and demand what I want, presented in list form.


1. Femmes who are probably social workers

2. Mean femmes

3. Glammed up butches

4. Overextended busy queers

5. Southern charm

6. Unavailable

7. “Someone who might wear a sundress sometime & tenderly murders me with a look.”

8. Shane (from The L Word)

9. “Grown-up Spinellis”

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10. Bean-shaped

11. Anything but men

12. Scorpio

13. Tender sci-fi tomboys

14. Wholesome and puppyish

15. Old wealth

16. “Shirley Manson femme”

17. “Femmes who can murder you”

18. Rachel Maddow on screen

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20. Rachel Maddow off screen

21. Everyone but actors

22. “Dominant nature loving perverts, willing to engage in artistic/creative endeavors, have sex in the woods, and tie me up.”

23. Nice Jewish Girl ™

24. “Andro/MOC folx with soft curvy bodies and crazy hair”

25. The recently divorced

26. Boaters

27. Bookish butches

28. Gregarious introverts

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29. ?️Older women

30. Smart girls who look like they played soccer

31. Bisexual Jewish therapists

32. Assertive organized girly girls

33. “Apparently women with the name “Carmen” which started with Carmen Cortez in Spy Kids as a child until I graduated to Carmen de la Pica Morales. Women totally out of my league.”

34. Younger, hot, queer Meryl Streep

35. Little spoons

36. Scary, brooding people

37. Masculine-of-center STEM majors

38. Straight women

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Ari

Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 330 articles for us.

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