20 Things To Say When Your Rideshare Driver Asks If You Have A Husband

Kai —
Jun 23, 2017
COMMENT

If you’re like me, you give 5 stars to every Lyft or Uber driver who gets you from point A to point B without making you imagine an escape plan.

But what do you do when the guy behind the wheel (yes it’s always a guy) doesn’t take “I’m silently putting my earbuds in right now” for an answer?

Whether you’re feeling chatty or you’re just looking for a safe and simple ice-builder, this list has something for you:

20 Things To Say When Your Rideshare Driver Asks If You Have A Husband

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  1. I’m thinking of buying one this weekend.
  2. NO BUT I HAVE A PUNK BAND WANNA HEAR OUR HOURLONG DEMO TAPE GIMME YOUR AUX CORD!
  3. It’s against my religion.
  4. Seventy-five.
  5. I think he’s following us please hurry.
  6. I knew I left SOMETHING on top of my car this morning.
  7. Is that like a sweatband? Wanna see my sweatband collection?
  8. He died during the Civil War.
  9. Isn’t it funny that husband sounds like has-been? What’s your dream job?
  10. No because I want my first marriage to be special.
  11. I’d love to have a conversation with you but I don’t speak English.
  12. Does this train have a bathroom?
  13. Cats have whiskers on their paws.
  14. Do you think people really do taste like bacon?
  15. No but I have a restraining order.
  16. Mom? Is that you?
  17. Do you own a Red Lobster? No? Oh, I thought we were talking about business that’s not ours.
  18. Ever been the getaway car?
  19. I had one when I was a kid and I didn’t like it.
  20. Why, do you?