Dr. Bronner’s is the organic body care brand usually marketed in a grocery store’s natural product aisle or in a boutique displayed prominently on a wooden plank. Chances are if you’ve taken a shower at a queer person’s house before, you’ve come across a giant Dr. Bronner’s liquid castile soap container, but maybe you’ve never picked it up and inspected it closely enough to realize it’s full of very fine print revealing a manifesto of sorts. An unchecked, megalomaniacal manifesto about worldly truths and the powers of man despite his enemies that reads like you’re in some sort of lucid dream.
Does that sound familiar to a particular twitter account you might have come across? One that hasn’t been deleted despite established presidential precedents? Ringing a bell?
Join me then for a game of:Â Donald Trump Quote or Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap Quote?
1. “Full-employment free economy money.”
2. “If I’m not for me, who am I? Nobody!”
3. “NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!”
4. “I will be the greatest jobs president God ever created.”
5. “Show me someone without an ego and I’ll show you a loser.”
6. “It is an absolute full truth that the 1st law of God’s tremendous universe is order!”
7. “When somebody challenges you unfairly, fight back — be brutal, be tough — don’t take it. It is always important to WIN!”
8. “For when brick & steel & stone are gone, & flesh & blood are dust, the full truth we print-protect-&-teach, full truth grows up & on!”
9. “For many years our country has been divided, angry and untrusting. Many say it will never change, the hatred is too deep. IT WILL CHANGE!!!!”
10. “All-One!! All-One!!! Exceptions? None!!!”
11. “We Win Free Speech OK!”
12. “If not now, when???!!!”
13. “We must keep ‘evil’ out of our country!”
14. “Bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing.”
15. “Warning! Don’t drink soap!”
16. “Drain the swamp!”
17. “Dilute! Dilute! Ok!”
18. “For with Bomb & Gun were All-One or None!”
19. “If you can keep your head, when all about you are losing theirs & blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about, but don’t deal in lies, or being hated, don’t give way to hating!”
20. “Happy Veterans Day to ALL, in particular to the haters and losers who have no idea how lucky they are!!!”
21. “One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
22. “The trouble with the world is that the wrong people are always the most energetic, united & intense while the hardworking people work scattered, divided, less intense!”
23. “Free to build, protect & share! Free to grow, develop & expand.”
24. “The Army of Principles by American’s founding father, steel-bridge builder Thomas Paine, suppressed 1799-1999: Fellow Americans, spread the revolution! Fellow citizens of all nations, remember: An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldier cannot!”
25. “Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”
26. “Getting ready to deliver a VERY IMPORTANT DECISION.”
27. “Battery-banks powering every car-factory-farm-home-monorail.”
28. “Something very important, and indeed society changing, may come out of the Ebola epidemic that will be a very good thing: NO SHAKING HANDS!”
29. “No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses – one vaccine at a time, over time.”
30. “Once more, unless constructive I work hard, perfecting first me, absolutely nothing can help perfect me!”
31. “…China bikes, C02 instant fire bombers, Easter Isle, UMT, Essenes, Finn jail, free-speech-embassy.”
32. “Too much Monsanto in the corn creates issues in the brain?”
33. “To fight for the right without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.”
34. “…I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
35. “If you can bear to hear the full truth that you have spoken, twisted by crooks to make a trap for fools.”
Donald Trump Quote: 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 13, 14, 16, 20, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29, 32, 34
Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap Quote: 1, 2, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 27, 30, 31, 33, 35
