Hello there, chocolate chip banana pancakes! Welcome to Friday Open Thread, the 24-hour no-frills vintage diner of your dreams, where the coffee is always strong, the bacon is always crispy, the fries are slathered in vegan gravy, and the cute queer waitstaff make a living wage! Come join me in this red sparkly vinyl booth and let’s talk about your life, your hair, your dreams, your sorrows, your loves, your kids (human and furry), your favorite breakfast foods, your best milkshake recipe, whatever is on your mind today. The coffee/tea/soda refills are unlimited and the free wi-fi is strong, so let’s chill!
My favorite weird vaguely queer 90’s diner song:
Some of my favorite memories happened at diners.
There’s Mama Nancy’s, the greasy truck stop the whole crew would gather after last call at the drag bar in college (where I once drunkenly tried to start a fight with some homophobic truckers).
The loud Perkins that became a Denny’s in the small city adjacent to my hometown, one of the only places to hang with my high school friends after 10 PM and where the first girl I had a crush on worked as a waitress.
The many Long Island diners that all looked the same with shiny booths and black and white tiled counters where I’d scarf 4 AM french fries dressed with salt and pepper when I would visit my college boyfriend on school breaks.
Aunt Rosie’s off of Route 20 where my parents would take us for Sunday breakfasts and my sister and I would gawk over the dessert case and come home smelling like stale cigarette smoke.
My favorite weird vaguely queer 90’s musical theatre song:
(I looked for a video of this song by Lin Manuel Miranda from the 2014 New York City Center revival, but could only find this charming and sentimental video of composer, Jonathon Larson (most famous for RENT), performing it in his one-man show in 1990.)
I wish I was at a diner with all of ya’ll right now and we could talk or not talk and sit in a corner booth for as long as it feels good. So let’s pretend! Tell me what’s going on with your life!
I’m mostly just getting ready to go on parental leave at work this week. I can’t believe I only have a few weeks left before the due date! I’m trying to do everything I can think of to make my staff and co-workers feel supported before I vanish for three months. One of my office-mates baked me a fresh peach kuchen today and it was delicious. If I didn’t have the gestational diabetes, I would have eaten the whole thing by now. Leftovers are coming home for Waffle. I’m pretending my carrot stick and ranch dip snack is just as satisfying. (It isn’t.)

I’m super thrilled that Steven Universe is back for the summer. Rebecca Sugar is a genius, a gorgeous bisexual genius. Did ya’ll see that Stevonnie episode that was totally about consent and bodily autonomy and saying no to performing for gross straight guys? And the Mr. Greg episode that was really about Pearl coming to a place of healing around her feelings of loss and love for Rose? Every day that there’s a new episode is a fucking gift.
I’m not religiously watching the DNC and I watched almost none of the RNC, but I’m trying to keep up with the highlights every day. Thank goodness for Heather Hogan’s election coverage. IT SURE IS A TIME TO BE ALIVE, folks.
What’s happening with you, babe? Do you want another refill on your drink? Would you like a bite of my grilled cheese? I’ll be here all night, so stay a while and tell me all about your life situations! Show me that selfie you took or that thinkpiece you read or that viral video of a silly horse using their human as a pillow.
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