Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron Glavin, Anna Bongiovanni, Megan Praz and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Megan!
Megan Prazenica is an animator/artist from Pittsburgh, PA. She now lives LA and life has been interesting ever since. When Megan isn't making art comics, or video games, she can be found wrecking havoc on the ultimate frisbee field as her alter-ego, "Bacon." Catch up with her on her website, her tumblr or tweet @MeganPraz.
Megan has written 42 articles for us.
Ah I know this experience well, but no sister have I and everyone I know out-boobs me by at least 2 cups or towers over me.
This reminds of that one Christmas I went to visit my mom and Grandma in Florida:
I unwrap present after present, and, unsurprisngly, most of it is clothing.
Tank Tops in muted colors, flannell shirts, even a black, biker leather jacket, that sadly, is just a tad bit too large.
After unwrapping the second flannel shirt of the evening, after about three tank tops, I start laughing.
“Did you guys, like peruse a Lesbian shopping guide, or what?” I ask, to which my mom only replies, a little shocked,”Honey, we only got you what we knew you’d like!”
Well.
I actually really, really did.
This is really sweet.
Haha this is so real! I will literally circle things in the catalog for my grandmother to get me for Christmas, and she’ll get me something totally different instead because to her, what I picked out wasn’t feminine enough apparently.
Up until last year this was my partner dealing with my mom. I am femme, Mel is NOT. Her wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts, a leather jacket and a few equally “masculine” dress clothes. My mom didn’t get it. She loves to buy clothes for people and Mel got a lot of clothes she would never wear. Thank the universe for the outpouring of Star Wars merchandise. I told my mom that Mel is a huge star wars fan, and she’s been buying up every Star Wars T shirt in the universe ever since.
Nerd gifts are the answer to everything basically.
I’ve never understood the holiday practice of gifting people clothes (other than socks and mittens and stuff like that). Like, even if you know what sort of clothes I like, how do you know what size I am? And even if you do, how do you know that this article of clothing that is randomly assigned a size will fit me? Not all size 6 or size “M” things are actually the same.
I know, I’ve always been confused by that too! I only feel comfortable buying clothes for somebody whose entire closet I have total access to in order to confirm sizes in all brands and to be 100% aware of what they do and don’t already have. even then, i still cannot be confident i will succeed.
“You’re really hard to shop for…” Really? Just buy me a button down shirt to add to the collection. I bet you can even get the size right. Pretty damn easy to shop for, really.
So real
I’ve never had anyone say “You’re really hard to shop for”, but I do get a lot of unsure hmms and questions even after giving my family a super long list of (mostly cheap) things they can buy me, with helpful suggestions on how to find it. Then they’re worried I won’t like their gifts until I open them. This makes me think they’re all very bad at gifts, until I open my presents and love them.
This, oh my god. I’ve had to start asking for specific articles of clothing, providing links and all of that, because my mother seems to interpret “buy me clothes from the men’s section” as “buy me some farcical, tissue-papery garment from the women’s section that isn’t overtly femme”. I know she probably means well, but I feel intensely uncomfortable in a shirt with a big space for boobs as a person who binds basically all the time.
My mom does this to me with clothes that are too small for her. Problem is… She’s ultra feminine and I am most definitely not.
Last thing she sent was a very frilly bikini. Thanks mom.
My mother REALLY likes to buy me frumpy teacher clothes with big prints and no shape. I don’t know where she got the idea that I like these kinds of clothes because I never wear them and they aren’t flattering.
Anyway, this year I opened a present and she was like “I have no idea why I bought this for you. You must have told me you liked it because I never would have picked it.” It was a pretty nice teal, button down shirt with some kind of embroidery on the collar. It was definitely more gay than anything my mother would have chose, and I actually liked it.
Then my dad was like “HEY THATS MINE!” and snatched it out of my hand.
Turns out my dad bought the shirt for himself at the thrift store a few weeks ago and it somehow got mixed up with the Christmas presents and my mom accidentally wrapped it up for me.
Oh well. Maybe next year.
I’m sorry, but have you been watching the last 10 years of gift giving between me and my mother? Because this is LITERALLY the things my mother says EVERY SINGLE TIME.
My sense of style has been pretty consistent. I identify on the masculine side of the spectrum, and wear button downs and bow ties every single day. Yet my mother insists on buying me blouses, saying “But you would look so cute in them!” (and this doesn’t include the terrible choices of jewelry. One word: “Pearls.” )
It’s gotten to the point where my colleagues take bets on how totally off my mom is with gifts- even they know just how completely of my mom is with it.
I honestly can’t tell if she truly just doesn’t know my style (which is hard to believe) or is SO desperate for a daughter who is feminine and frilly that she will try anything to feed the delusion. Either way, I cringe when opening gifts now.
You should take store credit! Macy’s has everything. Mens clothes, kitchenware, bedding, etc.
“You’re hard to shop for” means “I feel obligated to get you something but don’t understand/approve of 80% of your tastes/views/personality” when family says it (so my dad got me rubber banana slugs for Christmas, because I was into them back in middle school before I developed political views and we started arguing if we talked about even the weather) and “you’re significantly more classy/wealthy than me” when friends say it (it is terrifying to shop for a person who actually has taste, and the money to prove it).
Ironically, as a femme trans woman, I’ve had the *opposite* problem- my mom has no idea how to shop for me, even though it’s pretty obvious what I tend to like (hell, I even told her to look for sweater dresses).
So, this year, she just got me socks. A dozen pairs of socks. Really *cute* socks (knee-highs, mostly), mind you, but socks.
Admittedly, my brother and sister got the exact same gift. We’ve all resolved to explicitly say “NO SOCKS” on our Christmas lists next year.
(On the plus side, my fiancée got me a gorgeous dress and some really nice bras and panties, so overall I had pretty happy Christmas this year).
This year my mother gave me cash. The exact amount I had to spend to board the dog she won’t allow in her house.
I can relate to this. My dad got me long dangling earnings for christmas this year ( I have never in my life had my ears pierced). I’ve decided to just give them to a friend who’s style they fit. I feel a little bad since he hand crafted them, but I also feel angry and sad that he knows me so little. Anyway, at least someone will get something out of my dysfunctional relationship with my father.
I once got earrings for christmas, from relatives.
I’ve never pierced my ears.