Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image via queensized
+ One night stands can be so much fun, you just have to be clear with yourself about what you want, communicate that to a partner, and be a polite adult about everything:
“Use your mouth… to communicate your needs and desires. Part of the joy of a one-night stand is that, since the stakes are low, you can be and do whatever you want (within reason). If you want to be tied up, spanked, and called Mrs. Doubtfire for one night, then by god, ask! Not everyone will be into doing the precise things you’re into, of course, but you have very little to lose with a one-night fling, since they won’t know it’s “out of character,” so you might as well indulge your wild side. On the reverse (cowgirl), you should also be open-minded when it comes to meeting your partner’s needs, too. Again, within reason. But if your partner suggests something you’ve never tried, but are amenable to, consider giving it a shot. It might just blow your mind (or load). Casual flings are perfect for getting a little dirtier and kinkier than you usually are.”
+ Xan West wrote about being a disabled top in kink and ” figuring out ways to adapt my kink life so that I can honor my current disabled reality.” Xan writes:
“I get the fantasy of the all-powerful, all-knowing top that’s always ready and always in control. I have the fantasy too. Sometimes especially when I’m exhausted from dealing with a fuckton of ableism all day. Or when I feel really powerless against a medical system. Or when I just want the pain to stop eating my life. Those are some of the times when I fantasize the most about being the all-powerful, always-in-control-of-the-universe monster that’s going to take over everything. It’s seductive, that fantasy, for me too, the idea that I could be that monster all the time, never feel helpless or frustrated or vulnerable or scared or unsure.
It also is not possible.”
+ You can always learn from a breakup or two. SoloPoly writes about questioning the basics, experimenting, clarity and more.
+ Violet Blue’s TinyNibbles looks all shiny and new.
+ Sex ed programs can harm queer and trans youth.
+ Toronto’s first-ever accessible orgy will be held this August:
“Stella Palikarova, who is organizing the August event, has spinal muscular atrophy and studies sexuality in women with similar congenital mobility disorders. What she’s found in her research is something she’s also learned firsthand: People tend to assume there’s ‘something wrong’ with her libido, just because she’s in a wheelchair. But, as Palikarova explained to the Toronto Sun, that’s not the case — so she’s organizing a massive wheelchair-accessible sex party to make her point.
‘The naysayers are just subconsciously hating the fact that people in wheelchairs are having great sex — better sex than a lot of people are having,’ Palikarova said. ‘I won’t apologize for that. By making this party accessible, we are saying openly that people with disabilities are sexual beings … and not only in more conventional ways.’”
+ Everyone with a clitoris is capable of multiple orgasms, theoretically:
“Women’s Health sought out Vivienne Cass, PhD, author of The Elusive Orgasm, for her expert opinion on the matter. Dr. Cass specified that women can, technically, have between five and seven orgasms in a row — but, for some, this just doesn’t happen. She went on to explain that discomfort or fatigue are common inhibitors, which makes sense. However, a more surprising factor can be overstimulation.”
+ It’s okay to cry when you masturbate if you need to:
“crying during masturbation has had another source for me: release. With pleasure and especially orgasm, comes a physical letting-go. That letting-go can be refreshing and awakening and scary, which is plenty of emotion to cry from, and therein find a new level of vulnerability with myself.
It still catches me off guard, and I always question “WHY!?” and every time, I find a slightly different explanation. The important thing is to not invalidate yourself with generalized ideas of normalcy, and instead allow yourself the empathy and understanding you’d afford anyone else crying in front of you.”
+The latest from our Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey: what kinds of porn, smut and erotica do y’all consume? The answers may surprise you.
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