Hello, you cozy chestnuts!
As we inch ever closer to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years, etc. etc., we’re sipping on hot chocolate, perusing more gift guides, watching PLL get holigay and crafting presents for our favorites.
Feeling a little grinchy and struggling to get into the holiday spirit? Check out posts on ever so clever crafts, new merch and sex, sex, speed-dating and more sex.
On Holigay Gift Guide: Everyone Must Get Stoned:
The Is This A Clue? Award to Carmen SanDiego:
On Here’s Your Christmas Movie Drinking Game:
The Jingle All The Way Award to Tess:
The Hallmark Homo Award to Sally:
The They Cannot Be Trusted! Award to donnamartingraduates:
On What If Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss Are Kissing Partners? WHAT IF!:
The Shake It Off Award to Lora:
The Runway Look Award to mayonegg:
On Fools Journey: The Fascinating Life of Pamela Colman Smith:
The Male Tears Award to Brooke Palmieri and (shout out to AS writer Beth!):
On The Curious Case of Alex Parks, The Celesbian That Briefly Was:
The Mail Kimp Award to Lauren:
On Clip Art is Dead: The Five Stages of Grief As Told By Clip Art and Gays:
The 
Award to Tommy:
See a clever, hilarious or thought provoking comment around this website-ship? Email it to me at: carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com!
I thought my advice for if “Love Actually” comes on was pretty good…
what are screenwriters even doing. take over, sally.
Sally is a GOD among s mere mortals! *bows* We’re not worthy.
Side note: I’ll Bo Home Depot for Christmas actually has potential….
Will someone please greenlight Dyke Hard and I’ll be Home Depot for Christmas?
The Force is strong this week!
I would watch the shit out of Sally’s movies
OMFG Mail Kimp
Brooke seriously won my heart with that frickin’ essay.
Love the clip art “thumbs-up.”
That thread got me in the feels too, Tommy.
Thank you for indulging my weirdness/unheralded film genius! As bonus/punishment, here are two more I thought of in the shower today!
Rudy the Red-Faced Courier
Rudy joins an all-female delivery service during their busy Christmas period. She’s embarrassed to realise she’s slept with all her co-workers: Cupid, a hard-partying clit-hopper; Prancer, a closeted heiress; Dasher, an indecisive bisexual; Dancer and Donner, an overly-affectionate couple suffering from lesbian bed death; Comet, a questioning straight girl; Blitzen, a wise old lesbian who talks only in culturally appropriated clichés; and Vixen, a trans woman who isn’t allowed her own storyline. The team pulls together through personal drama and transport failures to ensure the children of Portland get their presents in time for Christmas.
It’s A Wonderful Dyke
A depressed lesbian considers ending it all. A guardian angel shows her visions of what the world would be like if she never existed: half the girls she hooked up with in college would be trapped in curiously unfulfilling marriages to straight dudes; the local organic food co-op would go bust without anyone to buy all that kale; the Netflix algorithm would never have discovered the genre “films with lesbians in high-waisted jeans that cry during sex;” her favourite independently-owned queer lady website would shut down without her subscription. She begs to stay alive, and everyone lives gaily-ever-after.
Comment award for a comment on the comment award post? Comment-ception!
ARGH. YOU TURNED ME INTO A COMMENT WITHIN A COMMENT WITHIN A COMMENT ETC.
WHERE IS ELLEN PAGE TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.
Can you submit a list to AS for like a Listling Without Commentary or something? These are all amazing.
AGREED these are all gold!