+ Being affectionate after sex is linked to increased satisfaction with both the sex and the person or people you had it with:
“People who reported a longer duration of after-sex affection were more satisfied with their sex lives and, in turn, happier with their overall relationships. Although people varied in how long they reported cuddling after sex, the average amount of time spent being affectionate after sex was 15 minutes. Interestingly, duration of after-sex affection was even more important for sexual and relationship satisfaction than duration of sex and foreplay.”
“‘What I have found is that I see more interest from 20-something ladies. MUCH more interest, where my past seems to be greeted with acceptance. That being said, I do find it difficult to accept a relationship with a 23, 24, or 25 year old. Life experience and station in life mean something. Age is NOT just a number.’ – M, a 43-year-old lesbian transgender woman in Orlando, Florida.
‘The few, the very few experiences I’ve had in the past 4 years have been with much younger cis women (20-25 years younger). One identified as queer and the other as bisexual. They both know me very well and know I’m trans.’ – G, a pansexual/queer transgender woman in her late 40s, living in rural Maine.”
“In a study published recently in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers looked at 533 people in long-distance relationships. In particular, they were interested in the effect that ‘relational savoring’ (the act of reflecting together on past happy moments in the relationship) had on these couples. Results showed that savoring pleasant memories was associated with more positive emotions, less negative ones, and higher relationship satisfaction. The greatest effect of relational savoring was seen in partners who were already at least moderately satisfied in the relationship.”
+ Sweden recently voted on a new word for female masturbation for some reason and came up with klittra, because obviously every element of female sexuality has to be sanitized and covered in glitter:
“The progressive nation of Sweden decided to vote on a spesh way to describe girls getting off in one word. […] And that word is ‘klittra.’ The Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU) has put forward the word as well as 34 other strong contestants and while the official announcement isn’t until June next year, it’s safe to say that ‘klittra’ is the frontrunner by a mile.”
“Flipping these words around, polyamory is, broadly speaking, one approach to engaging in (or being open to having) ethically nonexclusive relationships involving sex, romance, or deep emotional intimacy. What distinguishes solo poly people is that we generally do not have intimate relationships which involve (or are heading toward) primary-style enmeshment along the lines of the standard social relationship escalator. For instance, we generally don’t share a home or finances with any intimate partners. Similarly, solo poly people generally don’t identify very strongly as part of a couple (or triad etc.); we prefer to operate and present ourselves as individuals.”
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Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.
