NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Wearing Your Shirt, Probably Not Giving It Back

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Feature image via alien spiiirit.

+ Anna Pulley writes about what it’s like to watch episodes for the (queer feminist) Crash Pad Series shooting:

“As a feminist, I’ve found there’s often a negotiation that occurs when watching most porn, especially if it involves any kind of heavy aggression or degradation. Because, let’s face it, our desires are hardly ever politically correct. When a woman in porn is tied up and being called a dirty whore, the last thing you want to be thinking is, ‘Does liking this make me a bad person?’ With ‘Crash Pad,’ there was no such negotiation. The performers genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves. Nothing about the sex seemed contrived or for the benefit of an audience. Pleasure was the central tenet, and it worked. It was hot.”

+ People who talk about sex for a living talked about what they wish they’d known about sex when they first started having it:

“People need to understand that sex is fun — fun and funny. Sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes it doesn’t go off as planned. There is so much pressure around sex about what it’s supposed to look and feel like that it can lead people to feel disappointed.

I can only imagine telling people, ‘It’s OK to laugh during sex.’ It’s supposed to be serious business, but sometimes it’s not that serious! Sometimes it’s really funny.”

+ It is not a great idea to “steal” someone else’s girlfriend. According to a heteronormative study of people poached by their current romantic partners:

“[I]ndividuals who were poached by their current romantic partners were less committed, less satisfied, and less invested in their relationships. They also paid more attention to romantic alternatives, perceived their alternatives to be of higher quality, and engaged in higher rates of infidelity compared to non-poached participants.”

+ It can be difficult to come out as kinky to your doctor.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed Afterglow massage candles.

+ A reductive recent article declared that people with vaginas can only have clitoral orgasms and also reduced women’s orgasmic experience to terms that parallel men’s. Devi Ward Tantra has a response.

+ Using the term “secondary partner(s)” is a problem.

+ Being stressed outside your relationships makes you worse at them.

+ The Eva is a new hands-free vibrator that stays in place by tucking under labia.

+ Dating someone who doesn’t like you having a rich inner life that does not revolve around them is a terrible idea. In an answer in the Times‘ Sunday Book Review, Anna Holmes discusses why (in relation to books, but also in relation to everything):

“I hate the idea that there is a type of person whose impulse when witnessing a partner’s clearly rewarding, other-directed engagement is to react with contempt, not celebration; to expect the prioritizing of one’s own needs far above hers. In my experience, daring to honor my interior life — not to mention my professional commitments — has proved, in the context of coupling, to be a controversial, radical act.”

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