This is the second recap of the gay parts of the eleventh season of Grey’s Anatomy, aka Shonda Rhimes Night: Act One.
We should do one of two things. Either, we play a drinking game where for every full minute we have to wait for Callie and Arizona to appear on screen for the first time, we take shots of watered down Moscato, the pink kind, on ice in one of those goblet wine glasses you can get at Home Goods – cuz that’s for sure what Callie drinks when she gets home at night and is still furious at Arizona for something – or we pretend that everyone on screen is gay and come up with gay storylines for them. Then we can act them out with our friends or for our cats in our living rooms. Actually, that’s the official Grey’s Anatomy Gay Parts drinking game. Who’s down to give it a go next week?
Arizona came to us in under five minutes. All the pre-Arizona time was dedicated to giving Dr. New Grey Pierce a storyline based on her fascination with puzzles. I can’t decide how I feel about this whole Meredith-has-another-sister business. It feels lazy? I know that sometimes family pops up out of nowhere but how many times have you had estranged/unknown sisters who are both doctors just creep up on you? Meredith needs her own Maury Povich episode where everyone who is a half-sister, uncle-brother, great cousin twice removed gets to come on the show and take DNA tests.
Also, take the Quick Fire Challenge. See how many nicknames you can come up with for Dr. Margaret Pierce. She doesn’t remember names in this episode because she’s way too busy ‘bringing the thunder’. Nicknames always help. All of mine will be used in this recap.
Wilson? Milton? Winklehouse? Whoever you are, come over here and do a thing.
Anyway, back to Zona-time. At this point in the episode, Dr. See You At The Crosswords Pierce is working with Rita and Eric Choudhry who are having a baby that is going to be born with heart problems. Enter Arizona who is looking fine as hell this morning. Her skin is glowing. Hair is on point. She doesn’t even look high. But she could be, because during this consult she’s smiling, sleepy-eyed and doesn’t say a word. Exit Arizona.
Dr. 32-Down-is-Cornpone-Pierce is given bad news about the Choudhry’s baby and runs to find Arizona, you know after having a kiki with Dr. Webber who is also her secret Dad. She bursts in on our two favorite fighters, The Dueling Dykes, as they argue behind closed doors over their life issues while eternally at work.
Excuse, I don’t mean to be rude but Calzona is processing.
Callie opens the scene asking, “The Fellowship wants an answer tonight?” Oh shit, you already know Arizona got stuck on stupid and hasn’t brought this up to Callie until this exact moment. It’s kinda like when you were a kid and you knew you had a project due for about a month and then didn’t do shit and then Sunday night before the project was actually due, you’d go running to your mom having a full on panic attack and a case of IBS while crying and beg her to make/bake/do the thing you were supposed to do. That’s Arizona, except she’s a pro at lesbian arguments.
As the lesbians quarrel behind open shades, Dr. Bring the Thunder Pierce wonders if her and Meredith will ever do the NYT Crossword Puzzle together.
Arizona responds, “I’m surprised that you’re surprised by this.” Ohhhhhhhhhh. That’s code for ‘babe, y u trippin’? Which is double code for ‘I wish you’d relax. You shouldn’t be surprised. Why aren’t you on board with me?’ And this is the Arizona we know and love, the one who’s wrapped up in herself, in the cozy glow of good weed, having a hot wife, and being a doctor, that she doesn’t see how anyone could not be on her wavelength.
Wow, they’re really lesbianing in there. What if me and Meredith were lesbians, would she like me then?
Real quick: Keeping the majority of Calzona’s conversation within this room while shooting from outside the room, annoyed me. Like if you’re gonna have drama, bring me the drama! Put it on my lap and slap me in the face with it.
But Arizona’s not the only process-and-project professional because Callie shoots back that all of this is ‘out of the blue’ which is a lie because they were talking about this last week with Dr. Dottie Hinson, cougar extraordinaire. Callie’s pushed it out of her mind the way partners in a relationship do when they think a situation’s been resolved but it hasn’t. Like yeah, that fellowship thing came up but at the end of last week’s episode we were all like ‘baby!’ and so I don’t even have to worry ’bout that shit.
No, if you were lesbians, Meredith still wouldn’t like you, Dr. Puzzle Pierce.
Arizona uses the argument that she needs something new and that’s why the fellowship interests her. Something new. That’s why homegirl is always sleeping with someone else, too, right? Arizona is always on the creep for some new booty. Always. And Callie wants this baby. Babies are new. All the time. Whenever you have a baby, it’s new. So like, I don’t get how this is an argument for Arizona. I really think she just wants to bang Dr. Dottie Hinson while singing Batter up. Here that call. The time has come for one and all..
Callie calls bullshit. She knows that with this fellowship and her research, they won’t have time to care for a new baby. This is where telenovela, “I Will Always Have the Last Word” Callie comes out. Cue the dramatic music. Cue the bomb being dropped on Arizona for saying she hasn’t made up her mind yet.
Callie: Oh, see I thought you had, I thought we were having a kid.
Y punto.
Literally another 30-35 minutes passes before Calzona is re-delivered to us again. In this time, I tried to find other things that were gay-ish about this episode. There wasn’t much. In fact, the gayest thing that happened was this Google commercial about koalas.
If Arizona had time to sleep and smoke, this would be her life all day every day.
Which brings us back to the end, you’ve probably drank a lot of Moscato if you’re still playing the Gray’s Anatomy Gay Parts Drinking Game. I hope you’re ok. Arizona saved the Choudhry’s baby from dying. She’s also wearing a pink hospital gown thing and is so damn cute. Who could still be mad at her? Who among you??
On second thought, Dr. Pierce, we won’t be needing you as a secondary partner.
And here, at the end, we get a glimpse of the Callie and Arizona we used to know. In this tender moment, once again supervised by Dr. The-Thunder-Has-Been-Broughtn-Pierce, Callie talks to Arizona like she’s her wife, like they are madly in love. She talks to Arizona in that way that would make anyone swoon super hard.
Callie, not verbatim: Baby, take that fellowship and shine like the glorious sun that you are and were destined to be. May the love of what you do be a gift to our entire family. Your happiness will strengthen us. I adore you forever and a day.
Las únicas cosas que necesito en esta vida de pecados son yo y mi novia.
Callie tells Arizona to take the fellowship and she means it and it’s beautiful. It gives us all just a little bit of hope. At least for a second, cuz if you know your Shonda TV, that hope doesn’t last very long. But for this episode, we can all breathe a little sigh of relief that Calzona is still a thing. Arizona didn’t bang anybody new on the sneak. Callie didn’t have a major freak out. This didn’t end in an epic Erica Kane slap fight. It ended with the second base of the TV Chaste Gay Kiss, the Non-Christian Full Frontal Breast to Breast Hug.
I know she’s gonna let me pick what we watch on Netflix tonight
Til next week! Grey’s Anatomy Recaps, only the gay parts plz.
Do you have any nicknames for Meredith’s new new sister, Dr. Margaret Pierce? Should Arizona take the fellowship? Do you get as much sleep as a koala? Spill all the things.
Two things:
1. Dr. “See You At The Crosswords” Pierce- BONE THUGS 4 LYFE, YO! I laughed so hard, so so so so hard.
2. The Mortal Kombat reference was everything.
Ok, three things. The third being that you are hilarious and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next week. Episode 5- aka the end of the month- is supposed to be Calzona centric, so get ready to get your drink on, yall!
(We aren’t doing that thing where we all use the comment section to take sides in the Calzona fight, right? Because that’s for sure going bring down the joy super fast)
“2. The Mortal Kombat reference was everything.”
I read that as “mortal wombat” and was like, but wasn’t it a koala??
mortal wombat lmao
*singing* bone bone bone bone bone bone bone
HA!!!!
Ok so am I the only one that noticed some flirty chemistry between Dr.Pierce and Dr.(little sister) Sheppard?
Probably not because they’ve already reached their mainstream TV lesbian quote, but hey, a femme can dream!
Totally
Ahh yes! When Amelia said something along the lines of “I haven’t had sex in firever”, and maggie agreed my first thought was “..oh..I wonder what you guys could do to fix that for each other.”
Plus, Amelia is already my favorite character after Callie.
For me, Maggie is queer until proven otherwise.
yo i am gonna keep my eyes on this development and report back next week w what i find. thanks for this. y’all are the real sleuths of finding the hidden lez in this show.
HiddenLez R Us
Kelly McCreary (Pierce) played a series-regular gay surgical intern on Emily Owens, MD, the short-lived Mamie Gummer series on the CW in 2012,…but maybe that’s too far of a stretch to count as a “gay part” of season eleventy one of Grey’s? Either way, I like her.
I tried watching that show but it just didn’t do it for me
See, in my mind she’s playing the same character. It didn’t even cross my mind that she wasn’t gay. Now I just need her to hook up with baby Shepherd. Because hello, Caterina Scorsone and Kelly McCreary are beautiful together!
– I am totally down for the official Grey’s Anatomy Gay Parts drinking game
– mortal kombat reference made me short
– fellowship yes, baby no
– I have been calling Maggie “Lexi Reloaded” but thanks to these recaps I learned her name!
– I wish I could could take the time to try to sleep as much as a koala sleeps
– your recaps are genius! Thanks Gabby
i just love seeing your avatar again. it’s like olden times.
OMG am I the only one who finds the new doctor extremely attractive :)? So excited for this new season
I thought Callie’s side ponytail was very cute and made her face look especially gorgeous.
I’m all for the Grey’s Anatomy Drinking Game. I will not be joining in the drinking, but I will do the part where we pretend everyone’s gay and come up with gay storylines for them.
Since the whole episode was from Maggie’s point of view, we only got to see the parts of Calzona’s fight in the way that she saw them. Thus why the scene was shot from outside the room with part of the dialogue muffled, versus, inside the room with all of the dialogue clearly heard.
I actually think Stephanie would be great for the fellowship (though she probably can’t do it yet since she’s only a resident). She seemed to have lots of knowledge and maybe have done some extra research before working with Arizona. And she could bring back the OB-GYN / Maternal-Fetal specialty, which has been missing from the show since Addison left after Season 3 (and only briefly returned when Lucy did a fellowship in Season 7 while Callie was pregnant). This way Stephanie could get her own specialty, since most of the others are full of people, and it’s not like we need 3 neurosurgeons or 4 general surgeons.
I sleep almost as much as a koala. Seriously, I get 9-10 hours of sleep each night so I can actually function during the day and not feel like a zombie with a pounding headache.
Team Plant + 10
Team New Baby -10
Oh and I think I have an idea on what a calzona would be if it were a food. A calzone is a stuffed oven bread filled with salami or what, Italian cheese and other pizza-like stuff depending on region. Traditionally it’s crescent shape turn over like an empanadas and the crust is kinda close to pizza crust in taste cuz it’s salty.
So I figure a calzona could be calzone stuffed with picadillo because Callie has Cuban roots, but maybe it would be Puerto Rican style to go better with the pizza like crust.
Pizza Crust + Puerto Rican Picadillo + Folding Action + Oven = a calzona
um can we make this together and create a very special grey’s anatomy Get Baked post?
holy shit that sounds delicious. let’s get comment married btw bc food.
Hm I’ve done the filling a Natchitoches-type meat pie before which isn’t too far of a stretch from picadillo in general, and I’ve got the experience to be careful with something like the tomato sauce.
Just the hard part would be the dough. I am a yeast baker, but every time I try pizza dough I end up with thin crust which in this case would likely not work out structurally. And also it seems to be that thick crusts, not Chicago style but like Digiorno, are a special American twist that is not present in the old country. Don’t quote me on that though never been to Sicily or and part of Italy so I could be wrong.
If for serious trying to make a Grey’s Anatomy Get Baked episode we’d need an experienced, accomplished yeast baker on consult. Like a specialist :P
Comment married? Well if you can tell what ya call papas rellenas and you can peel plantains real good it could work.
“Las únicas cosas que necesito en esta vida de pecados son yo y mi novia.”
*dead*
Also, rewatching the episodes with Arizona as a constantly high femme princess just tryna get by and stay cute makes every episode so much better.
i was praying someone would catch that reference. xoxo
I just got it now. *slaps forehead*
How did I miss that caption?? HILARIOUS!
I was confused thinking it was maybe a pussy joke until realised what I thought was fish didn’t have an “s” making it a whole nother word, then it made more sense.
Maggie just came at the wrong time for me. I can’t get over how much I miss Lexie and Cristina (SOBBBBBB), and Shonda’s had all these people come and go that I have attachment issues with all the new characters (so, I don’t really feel anything for the whole Wilson-era crew, either)
Also, this whole surrogacy thing is weird because Ellen Pompeo just had a kid via surrogacy and Shonda’s had like two kids via surrogacy.
But basically, it boils down to I miss Cristina/Lexie and I feel like Grey’s has run its course much to my extreme dismay and all I really care about now is Meredith and Derek and a little bit Callie and Arizona and Richard and Catherine.
And I just don’t like Maggie. She’s annoying and frustrating and I just don’t give a damn for her and I really appreciate Meredith taking out my angst on her.
So I’m going to go watch How To Get Away With Murder and squeal incessantly over how good it is because damn.
i’m also kinda bummed that they wouldn’t maybe try to add fostering children to callie & arizona’s storyline. like showcase another way to create family, you know?
Yeah, exactly!! Like, we get it, Callie and Arizona are SUPER rich and surrogacy is a thing a lot of rich people turn to when neither of them want/can have kids the old fashioned way. But Grey’s did the whole adopt a sad African orphan storyline, so I think it’s time for some fostering.
I never thought about this but yeah, fostering would be perfect for them.
And now I Miss Stef and Lena…
Yeah, Grey’s Anatomy is one of the most difficult shows to watch in regards to having character attachment issues. Because at least every other season either an actor chooses to leave the show or a character is killed off for story purposes. Surprisingly, I’ve adjusted pretty well to the massive amount of losses, probably because I think the newer characters are just as great as the older characters and I end up loving them just as much, so they fill the void in my heart and help distract me from actively missing the departed characters all the time. (I also just started watching last season and marathon-watched 6 seasons in 3 months, where it sounds like you’ve watched the show for all or most of the 10 seasons, so I’m sure the time frame differences would make the impact of the losses feel somewhat different for you than for me.) I still desperately miss Lexie (SOBBB) and Mark (the plane crash was the last episode from my marathon-watching). And I will always miss George and Izzie and Teddy.
I’m wondering how they’re going to fill the void of Cristina’s departure. I haven’t fallen completely in love with Maggie yet (though I’ll give it a few more episodes since it’s taken me a little while with a lot of the other main characters too). And on top of that, they’re down from 4 residents to 2 residents, after I had spent the last 2 seasons getting fully attached to them (and this might be a little too soon for such a small resident pool). If they step up Amelia’s presence that should help because I already absolutely love her from the few episodes of Grey’s that I’ve seen her in.
See, I don’t miss George or Izzy at all. Both of them annoyed me so much ( Izzy the most). I do miss Teddy, although I wish she had taken Owen and his terrible American accent and dumfuckery with Cristina with her.
I should mention that I do like Leah and I thought her storyline has been PERFECT. But beyond that, her peers annoy me.
Also I kind of think Kepner is the new Izzy and I don’t know what Jackson was thinking.
Damn Shonda and her hold on my heart.
Glad I’m not the only one that liked Leah, misses Cristina and doesn’t miss Izzie at all
Am I the only one that REALLY thought they were eluding to the fact that Dr. Mags had lesbian Moms?!?