Earlier this month, we gave you a sneak peek at Mists of Pandaria, the latest World of Warcraft expansion. A great number of pandas were born during Tuesday’s launch, and in a post-Cataclysm world three things seem clear. First, so many people have spilled over onto the new continent of Pandaria that Jade Forest chat is the new trade chat. Second, the female Pandaren flirt emotes need some serious help (“your happy place or mine?”). Third, Autostraddle has heard your dark, undead, soulless pleas for a Horde guild. And it has answered.
Behold, your essential updates on the panda-monium and Autostraddle’s part in it.
+
Autoguild: Alliance Edition
+
You already know about Alt Lifestyle Haircuts, both the thing on your head and the Autostraddle guild. What you might not know is that in the wee hours of recently, ALH reached level 2. So come, join, use us for our xp buff. We are on the Bronzebeard server, where the Alliance is strong and the leather sells relatively well. The guild bank is already filling up, and we’ve begun separately stockpiling any remotely gay items that we might give you if you’re really, really good. Band of the Unicorn, anyone? Send questions, comments, and carbohydrates to Lollyamorous or Cuddlepuddle on the Bronzebeard server.
+
Autoguild: Horde Edition
+
Once upon a time, you said things like this:
+
So we researched. We shopped and hopped. We created lots of random toons on various servers, investigating communities, and leaving no trade chat left unturned. And then there was one . . . one realm to rule them all! Garona met our criteria for having a decent Horde base (about 1 Horde player for every 2 Alliance is, surprisingly, relatively strong), a medium or low population so that we wouldn’t get shut out when MoP dropped, a basic PvE server so that you weirdos can name your toons whatever you want and not have to worry about getting ganked at every turn, and a friendly community with preferably LGBTQ or lady guilds to group up with if you need help. (We tried Proudmoore, of course, but the Horde to Alliance ratio there was 1 to 10. Plus the server is FULL, and we needed more space for all your awesomeness.) It doesn’t hurt that the server’s namesake is Garona Halforcen, who apparently was half orc and half draenei. That’s diplomatic, right?
And now, the charter signatures have been awkwardly gathered, the guild has been registered, Flannel Confederacy: Horde edition is a REAL THING, and my poor priest Holyhelle is all alone on Garona. Come, let me cleanse you!
+
Autoguild: The Website
+
Because we have to level our real life selves too, we can’t be logged in all the time. So you should know that the Autoguilds have a home-away-from-home website: Autostraddle WoW Guild, where you can post comments (anonymously or not) regardless of who’s in-game at the time. Check it out, send us any questions you have, and we’ll be around. Dark Lady watch over you. /wave
Don’t forget that the max number of characters you can have per realm has been upped to 11, that you can also send questions to Cuddlepuddle/Lollyamorous on Bronzebeard or Holyhelle on Garona, and that, like you, we appreciate having money around, so if you are in love with particular non-subscription games, feel free to share them in the comments.
In conclusion, pet battles!!
+
