Welcome to NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday! You’re looking very Shane today.
+ A new study found that women were more likely to orgasm with a relationship partner than a hook-up partner, but that the chance of an orgasm in casual sex increases with repeat encounters. According to Salon:
“While practice may not make perfect, there’s something about learning how a partner’s body works over time. Although only 11 percent of women in first-time hookups reported orgasm, 16 percent of women in second- or third-time hookups with the same person had an orgasm, as did one-third in more regular hookups. […]
Not that orgasm is everything! And yet it does matter to many sexually active adults. The authors note that women were five to six times more likely to enjoy relationship or hookup sex if they had an orgasm.”
+ In related news, xojane has an “It Happened to Me” this week from a (straight) girl who has never had an orgasm, alone or with a partner:
I’ve gotten all of the advice, anyway: just lie down in your bed, or your bathtub and start slowly. Buy a vibrator. Or don’t, just use your hands. Just get comfortable! But the mere thought of masturbation makes me instantly and heart-poundingly uncomfortable, so no matter how much Enya I play or how many lavender candles I light, it is not going to be an “Our Bodies, Ourselves” type of experience for me.
+ This list of euphemisms for sex from the 1800s includes basket-making, brush, bread and butter, take a flyer, convival society, and pully hawly.
+ Poet Robert Graves published the poem “Advice to Lovers” in 1919. It does not include propositioning your girlfriend with bread and butter in public, but is very pretty.
+ Actually, Legitimately The Best (Lesbian?) Erotica: “Although I have not read any of the other Best Lesbian Erotica editions, I was delighted by the quality, diversity, and intensity that this book packed into only 175 pages. I expected Best Lesbian Erotica to be the girl-on-girl, femme-y, lacy panty parade that many other stories that are described as “lesbian erotica” are, however this book thoroughly surprised and pleased me.”
+ Nerve has a gallery of vintage porn posters from the 1970s and 80s.
+ Waiting three months before having sex can lead to a stronger relationship, says a dubious study. According to Amanda Hess in Slate:
“Half-year stretches of celibacy may make a woman more satisfied in a long-term relationship, but they don’t necessarily make her a more satisfied person. This study only surveyed couples who live together or are married, so ignored couples who live apart, women who “leap into bed” without an expectation of commitment, and those who break up when their relationships no longer support their personal needs. […]
When women’s short-term sexual pleasure is perpetually framed in the service of long-term romantic commitment, it’s no surprise that women who invest heavily in that framework end up thinking that the wait was worth it. But making all relationships better—and more equitable—will require more than crossing our legs in perpetuity.”
+ In a new book, Katie Roiphe writes about what it’s like to be a dominatrix:
“Sessions are exhausting because you are managing someone else’s fantasy. Alexis describes it as ‘walking on eggshells upon eggshells.’ She watches her subs very closely, for a glance averted, a flicker of an eyelid, tension in shoulders, for the slightest alterations in body posture, for signs that she is going too far or not far enough or in the wrong direction. She is intuiting the fantasy from them, almost drawing it out of their bodies, and she has to be fluid, shifting, perfectly responsive.”
+ Sex Etc., an online sex-positive and gender- and orientation-inclusive sex ed resource for teens, just relaunched. Its new website has articles on coming out, bisexuality, and a state-by-state guide to queer rights, birth control, abortion, sexing, and more.
+ No one ever talks about dental dams because people still define sex as a very specific condom-requiring act. But they’re (obviously) wrong (and not lesbians/queers):
“I kept bumping into the word condom. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but then it got me thinking, why was there no mention of dental dams? After all, you’d have to be pretty creative to use a condom to protect yourself when performing oral sex on a woman.
Oral sex doesn’t mean blowjobs. And yet, in all the articles I read, they all made that assumption. I actually purposefully tried to research disease transmission through oral sex performed on women, and I could find only a handful of articles. It was almost as if nobody had heard the news about eating out. These were doctors and scientists who were completely overlooking a major form of sex.”
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