Our lesbian stereotypes survey had, of course, a question about haircuts, as many queers, regardless of gender presentation, have very passionate feelings about their hair. We’ll be getting into the stats on that later this week or next, but I was so inspired by how you described your present, current, and/or future haircuts in the comments section that I couldn’t wait one moment longer to share that with y’all. Also please note that a full article on what I have learned is called “the bisexual bob” is in the works.
Find below, ripped mercilessly out of context for your enjoyment, just some of the many ways you described the hair that flows from your scalp into the sweet light of day.
1. “A compromise between Natalie Dormer and the comic book Captain Marvel”
2. Unironic rainbow mullet mohawk situation
3. Usher-style Mohawk situation
4. “I’d like to speak to the manager”
5. Edgy 12-year-old boy
6. Kinda British boarding school dude
7. “I guess I’m a lhb [Long Hair Butch] but my hair went white and now everyone treats me like a granny or Walt Whitman”
8. The good old Hillary Clinton frumpy crop
9. “The more like Steve Harrington, the better.”
10. “Occasionally I wake up looking like a teen heartthrob on the cover of Tiger Beat circa 1997 — like a Home Improvement-era Jonathan Taylor Thomas”
11. Scully bob
12. Sexy Willie Nelson
13. Merida curls that have always been chin length or longer
14. Dramatic witch mane
15. “Dude medium length (wavy, like a lot of NHL players or Jack Savoretti or Kit Harrington)”
16. “I made my partner cut my hair like my favorite anime character’s. The short blunt bangs are very trendy, no one needs to know my inspiration was a fictional 17 year old boy.”
17. PTA suburban mom boss bitch
18. Short Jean Seburgesque pixie
19. The young-lesbian lob
20. Mid-30s queer crisis undercut/sidecut
21. The Big Gay Chop
22. The Bisexual Bob
23. “Like a rainbow had shat on my head, with an undercut and an emo fringe”
24. Like a Hanson brother
25. The Bieber
26. “That really cool high school English teacher who makes, like, three students realize they’re gay.”
27. Twig from “The Edge Chronicles”
28. Hugh Grant in “Notting Hill”
29. Merida from “Brave”
30. Johnny Depp in “Willy Wonka”
31. Heath Ledger in “10 Things I Hate About You”
32. Leonardo DiCaprio in “Titanic”
33. 90’s lesbian Leonardo DiCaprio
34. “I love my long-ass hair, it is my source of Samson-like strength”
35. Big, bushy Hermione hair
36. “It fluctuates between a sort of “captain america/JFK” masculine cut, an undercut, and shaved.”
37. Taylor Swift asymmetrical angled lob
38. 2001 Teen Boy Love Interest
39. Weird soccer-mom short back, long front thing
40. Accidental Bieber swishy style
41. “I cut my hair into a Jenny Schecter-style pixie in college to seem gayer. Instead it just made a weirder type of guy hit on me.”
42. Han Solo
43. Mall goth dude
44. Humphrey Bogart
45. Jon Snow
46. Carly Usdin, all my life
47. Ashlyn Harris
48. Alice
49. Annie Lennox
50. “v specifically cultivated floop w chelsea-ish side parts i can push back or let flow to subtly shift gender vibes”
51. Lesbian Macklemore
52. Faye British school boy
53. Young French boy
54. That fuckboi fade
55. “I like the feral look. The more twigs and mud the better. The look that says I’m too busy clambering through the wilderness to give a damn, but hey i’m working it.”
56. Sweet mullet
57. Flowing mane of a mullet
58. Very 80s new wave mullet situation
59. “a curly mullet I can downplay for work and up-play for other times”
60. Dragon Ball Z villain
61. “Sometimes I look like Draco Malfoy? I am very gentle, though.”
62. ’70s goddess
63. From Amélie to Bellatrix Lestrange
64. “All I know is that Amy Adams’ greasy alcoholic depression hair in Sharp Objects makes me swoon.”
65. Mulan-length
66. “Dark, dense, kinky… kinda like my soul.”
67. Short, very gay Miley short-sides long-on-top hair
68. “Every year or so I think about growing it out in hopes of looking like a sexy viking, but instead I just end up looking like a straight person and it’s terrible.”
69. “Like my dad did his wedding pictures in 1963”
70. “Like that of a male movie star from the 1920s”
71. “My mom says my hair is “neat and flippy,” my brother says my hair is “cool and artsy,” and my boss says my hair is “hip,” which just means none of them know the word queer.”
72. Endless goddesslike sunset colored ombre hair
73. Long metal hair, henna red
74. On my way to having a Hannah Hart look
75. Hannah Hart but NOT CUTE
76. “I dream of going gray so I’ll look like Anderson Cooper.”
77. Harry Styles’ circa 2015 before it got too long
78. Long and awesome (think Harry Styles c. 2015)
79. “My hair is the lovechild of Cameron Esposito’s and Rhea Butcher’s hair. Also still really torn up about that relationship change. LOVE IS A LIE.”
80. “High femme, vintage maven, full set and brush out, curls and hairspray for days.”
81. Amelie-ish
82. Tegan Quin during the Hearthrob era
83. “Late 90s soccer player/ Robin Wright vibe”
84. Like a lion’s mane
85. “It’s bright silver i’m just trying to be Lesbian Dante out here”
86. “I got a Rachel Maddow haircut well before I had any idea I was queer. My hair has always been precocious.”
