7 Videos That Have Something To Do With Destiny’s Child

By now everyone knows that the world of music recently exploded because Justin Timberlake and Destiny’s Child released new things. I’d say music but Justin’s first video was on some weird look-at-me-being-deep shit but you know that boy has soul so whatever. Really though, all I care about is Destiny’s Child because from them came Beyoncé and by now you should all know how I feel about her. Google Beyoncé + Autostraddle if you don’t believe me.

This is apparently the official "we just out out a new song" picture.

This is apparently the official “we just put out a new song” picture.

Anyway, back to new music and stuff. Destiny’s Child put out “Nuclear” last week. The song makes me feel like it’s 1994 and En Vogue is going to do a guest spot on this track. I’m also waiting for Salt n Pepa to rap somewhere in the middle of it while everyone does the dance to “If” like Janet Jackson. Basically, I kind of love this song already. But I’m an elder queer, what the hell do you ya’ll think about it?

In honor of new music from Destiny’s Child and to commemorate their alleged reunion at this year’s Super Bowl Half Time show and their super fly, body for days, deliciously camp everything:

7 Videos That Have Something
To Do With Destiny’s Child

7. “Soldier” feat. Lil Wayne and T.I.

 I hereby proclaim this video as winner of the “Even Girl Groups Get a Hood Pass” Award.

6. “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”

Claymation + Destiny’s Child = My Life Fulfilled

5. “Bills, Bills, Bills”

 Destiny’s Child sang a made up word and no one dared to check them.

Can you pay my automo bills?

4. Gemini’s Twin SNL Skit.

Because Charlize Theron, Maya Rudolph and Ana Gasteyer should seriously consider reuniting and joining Destiny’s Child on tour.

3. “Lose My Breath”

What’s better than an impromptu dance-off?

An impromptu dance-off that pits

Working Professional Destiny’s Child vs. Round the Way Homegirls Destiny’s Child.

2. “Survivor” ala Julia Nunes.

Because nothing beats a cute chick playing a ukele while singing a Destiny’s Child song.

Nothing. Not even kittens.

1. “Bootylicious”

They were right. We were never ready for all that jelly.

But please sir, can we have some more?

So any thoughts on “Nuclear”? Or any of the videos posted here? Is there a Destiny’s Child related video out in the world that needs to be on this list? Something the world hasn’t seen yet? So many questions and only three members of Destiny’s Child left for the world to enjoy.

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gabby

Gabrielle Rivera is an awesomely queer Bronx bred, writer, spoken word artist and director. Her short stories and poems have been published in various anthologies such as the Lambda Award winning Portland Queer: Tales from the Rose City and The Best of Panic! En Vivo from the East Village. Her short film "Spanish Girls are Beautiful" follows a group of young Latina and Caucasian girls who like girls as they hook up, smoke up and try to figure sh*t out. She also freelances for Autostraddle.com while working in the film and television industry. Gabrielle is currently working on her first novel while bouncing around NYC performing spoken word and trying to stick it to the man.

gabby has written 102 articles for us.

16 Comments

  1. When I was in about 6th grade, Say My Name had just come out, and I was watching the video with my father. He said (in all seriousness, apparently forgetting I was an awkward, strawberry blonde, white kid) “your mom has a thing that will do that to your hair,” in reference to Beyonce’s hair. So I spent a lot of time in middle school using my mother’s crimping iron to try to make my hair look more like Beyonce’s did in the Say My Name video.

    Thank you, Destiny’s Child for the most awkward phase of my life.

  2. Nuclear doesn’t have the big neon lights around it announcing a big hit, but it’s a chill song, I kinda like it!

    Nothing beats Bootylicious though. NOTHING.

  3. nuclear is the first destiny’s child song i have LOVED upon first listen.

    also i didn’t realize til just now how much i miss en vogue.

  4. Up until this news I was thinking “How pissed do you think the other members of Destiny’s Child are at Beyoncé?”

    • Kelly’s doing just fine; she and Queen B are both pretty routinely nominated for major awards. Michelle, on the other hand, isn’t even the most famous Michelle Williams of our day…

  9. “The song makes me feel like it’s 1994 and En Vogue is going to do a guest spot on this track. I’m also waiting for Salt n Pepa to rap somewhere in the middle of it while everyone does the dance to “If” like Janet Jackson.”

    Add TLC to this list and you have basically all the music I listened to in the early ’90s. “Shoop” is still my go-to karaoke song.

  10. I’m not a beyonce fan in any way, shape, or form but I do LOVE Kelly! Excited to see more of her.

  11. This made me so happy! It mad me think of the days when I would pretend to be a awesome dancer in their music videos..Good times good times. Also how can we forget Survivor?

Comments are closed.