Four editors. One ancient poet. This article. You won’t believe what happens next.
1. These Two New Sappho Poems Will Make You Even Gayer Than You Already Were
2. New Sappho Poems Will Save Obamacare from Repeal (or “Sappho Didn’t Have Health Insurance, Is Now Dead”)
3. Sappho Can’t Stop Won’t Stop
4. Despite Death, Sappho Keeps On Making Poems
5. Death Can’t Stop Sappho From Releasing New Lesbian Poetry
6. Sappho? I Barely Know Her (and Haven’t Even Read These Two New Poems They Just Found)!
7. Sappho’s New Poems Still Better Than Your Ex’s Despite Being Dead for Thousands of Years
8. You Need To Watch This Video of Sappho Calling Out Congress From Thousands of Years Ago
9. Has Sappho Peaked?
10. Sappho Is The New Black
11. VIDEO: Sappho Proposes to You With Zombie Flash Mob
12. You Won’t Believe What These Two New Sappho Poems Have To Say About The Human Condition
13. 25 Things Only Sapphos Understand
14. How Did These Two New Sappho Poems Make This Baby Cry?
15. Sappho Lindsay Lohan Evan Rachel Wood Sexy Sex Bisexual
16. One Dead Bisexual Poet. Two Previously Undiscovered Poems. You’ll Be Amazed By What Happens Next.
17. What It’s Like to Read These Two New Sappho Poems (a gif list)
18. Unpopular Opinion: I Don’t Really “Get” Why Everyone Likes Sappho So Much
19. It Happened To Me: I Read These Two New Sappho Poems and It Ruined My Life
20. Is Poetry Dead? Let’s Ask Sappho
21. Which Dead Lesbian Poet Are You
22. Will These Two New Sappho Poems Save the Millennial Generation?
23. What You Need To Know About Selfies and Sappho
24. 33 Fragments From Sappho Poems That Will Give You Life
25. 12 New Sappho Fragments As Translated by The Cast of AHS: Coven
i love this all.
LLOL. (That’s a “literally” before the “laughing.”) Well done.
<3
Number 7 is the best one by far.
IKR?
I think #15 is my favourite.
thank you emily
Loving the nods to Upworthy.#9 is my fave.
Oh my gosh. #12 and #15 are incredible. But my fav: #22 “Will These Two New Sappho Poems Save the Millennial Generation?” If there’s gotta be one more stupid link or headline about Millenials, I want it to be about how Sappho and poetry will save us.
Sappho is the Warmest Color
confused as to why number 25 was not the actual title
bahaha! loving all. especially: “Sappho Can’t Stop Won’t Stop”
This list is PERFECT and now I’m really tempted to mail “The Letters of Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf” to the lady I’m sort of maybe trying to woo (even though she lives literally a thousand miles away)…
If you wrote 25 fluff pieces to use these headlines, I would read them all.
Also, a riff on #15:
“Sappho Bisexual Calls From the Grave, Tells Evan Rachel Wood She Wants Her Suffix Back”
Sappho: The Only 100% Sapphic Goddess.
#21 please!
Truly Straddleworthy.
“Could reading Sappho kill you? The answer will shock you”
#7 made me chortle in an embarrassing manner. Well done.
Definitely think #25 would have been the perfect article.
Sensational
Help I’ve spent the past 5 minutes trying to explain #15 to my roommate and her boyfriend. Best by far!!
Awkward Teen Relatable Moment Post: Sappho.