20 Recipes That Were Perfectly Healthy Until Bacon and Butter Came Along

Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week, we ate figs.

food3

So after thirteen years of vegetarianism and an abrupt realization of my digestive issues, I had to cut bread and dairy out of my life forever. In lieu of something like a log of goat cheese and a baguette for dinner, I turned back to red meat, namely bacon, and quite a lot of it. Turns out red meat isn’t so great on the stomach either, but I discovered that being a carnivore really suits me. Actually, if I pretend hard enough that butter isn’t made from milk, I can imagine that my insides aren’t turning against me. So, in honor of my inability to maintain a healthy diet, here are 20 recipes that were perfectly healthy until they were blessed by bacon and/or butter.