Hey, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s this giant sports event taking place on Sunday. I wish I could talk to you about it, but, like a certain Harry Potter villain, we’re no longer allowed to name it.
SB Nation explains:
You’ve probably heard a bunch of local tire shops, strip clubs, and stereo stores promoting half-assed sales this weekend by alluding to some sort of championship football game, but not actually coming out and saying “The Super Bowl.” I, for one, am in favor of a strip club exemption for all copyright infringements as a blanket provision, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is, most companies are not allowed to use the phrases “Super Bowl” or “Super Sunday,” both of which have been copyrighted by the NFL … The NFL is so aggressively litigious about protecting its trademark that it has companies running scared, policing themselves.
But then how do we talk about it?? Here’s what you can/should say instead:
1. Puppy Bowl: The Early Years
2. The Reason We’ve All Seen Janet Jackson’s Right Nipple
3. Superb Owl
4. Non-Erotic Beefy Man Wrestling, No Homo
5. Super Erotic Beefy Man Wrestling, All The Homo
6. “Can I Make That Into A Dip” Sunday
7. That Time of Year We All Try To Remember Roman Numerals
8. That Thing I Hear Happened Before And After Beyonce’s Superdome Concert Last Year
9. Annual Racist, Misogynist Commercial Spectacular
10. Puppies and Giant Horses Try To Sell You Beer Day
11. Special Time Reserved To Sit With Your Friends And Make Incredulous Noises That Someone Spent $4M On That 30 Second Ad
12. Annual Justification For Misanthropy
13. The Stoner Bowl
14. The I’m Not Hungry Actually I Just Ate Obscene Amounts of Munchies Games
15. That Day You Spend On The Couch Before Spending The Next Day On The Bowl
16. The Day Before Everyone Has A Hangover On A Monday
17. Look At Those Fools In The Cold 2014
18. The Day When Everyone Will Notice The New York Football Stadium Is Actually In A Swamp In New Jersey
