Same-sex marriage: It’s like any other legally binding relationship between consenting adults, except people feel the need to make curious analogies about legalizing it. On Friday, Pennsylvania governor Tom Corbett joined the club when he apologized for an earlier comparison between same-sex marriage and child marriage by claiming “the appropriate analogy would have been brother and sister, don’t you think?” You don’t seem so certain, there, Tom. May I suggest one of these alternatives?

That'll be a man, two women, my dog, and that lamp post.
That’ll be a man, two women, my dog, and that lamp post.

14 Things Tom Corbett Could Have Compared Same-Sex Marriage To Instead of Incest

1. Incest AND polygamy

2. Legalizing slavery

3. Abolishing slavery (in the United Kingdom)

4. Abolishing slavery (in the United States)

5. “Murder, for example, or polygamy, or cruelty to animals”

6. Pedophilia and baby farming

7. Bestiality (sarcastically)

8. Bestiality (seriously)

9. Hitler and the Nazi Party

10. Beer, not water, and napkins, not paper towels

11. Paganism

12. Forced friendship

13. Communism

14. “Selfish hedonism”