14 Halloween Quizzes You Could Take Right Now for a Very Gay October

Want to eat some pre-Halloween candy in bed and take a bunch of quizzes? We do too!

This time, we’re talking zombie horror, and it means most of you are going to die. But maybe you’ll get at least a few brain jabs in before meeting your demise.

From the same twisted, gorgeous mind who brought you Spirit Halloween Animatronics , Ranked By Lesbianism (Kayla’s) comes this quiz in which you answer Halloween-themed questions and I peer into your soul and tell you which animatronic YOU embody.

Should you hook up with the Mummy of Ananka who only looks like a mummy for one scene before emerging from the water with a full face of make up? Or Dracula’s daughter Countess Marya Zaleska who took all the right lessons from her father? Kitty Carroll who uses her invisible woman powers for good instead of evil?

This quiz is one of our top five most popular quizzes ever, and that’s because it’s really good. It opens with Kayla predicting that she’d die in the first act of a horror movie but in a really boring way ’cause she’d just find the whole shebang too stressful and volunteer to get stabbed. Fair! Dark, but fair.

If you don’t have a Halloween costume yet, have no fear. For the low, low price of making it out of a spooky Victorian mansion, you get a gay costume idea!

Picture this: you’re innocently attempting to plan a Halloween party when you feel a breeze across your sweater’ed skin, like something ghoulish has passed by you, or passed through you. You think you can hear someone reciting Shakespeare through the vent, a knife sharpening through the wall. You think you can hear an erratic young writer chanting softly to herself as she composes terrible literary non-fiction! YOU ARE BEING HAUNTED. But by whomst??! This quiz will help you get to the bottom of it all. (I remember Carmen complemented me on the graphics I made for the answers for this quiz and it was a moment in time that I really needed a compliment and so it meant a lot to me.)

This quiz is FRESH out of the oven

Sapphic vampires, perhaps? Trans body horror? Or maybe a queer zombie romp is more your style. We’re here to match you up with a good book, right now, before time runs out.

Surprised I didn’t win a GLAAD award for this one.

There are lots of specifically queer curses out there. Like, perhaps, you are always matching with people on Tinder with the same name as you or, perhaps, you’re always calling your girlfriend the name of your ex-wife — or the name of the dog you co-owned with your ex-wife. Or the classic queer curse: Always crushing on straight girls.

“A gay ghost friend is just a gay friend who happens to be a ghost.”

Gay witches have always been one of our favorite topics in these parts. Perhaps you are a gay witch, in which case you don’t need this quiz, but if you’re not — here it is!