100 Things That Are Orange, Ranked
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49. Iceland Poppies
What if we had a whole field of these in our yard, what then.
48. Orange Nail Polish
“I’m gonna buy some orange nail polish today and see how it goes. Megan will be pleased with that use of my time I’m sure.”
– Laneia, Executive Editor
47. The Detroit Tigers
This is my home team, you see, so I can’t very well leave it out.
46. Sweet Mango Candle
Once upon a time we had a rich friend and she took us all the way to Key Biscayne, Florida, to a fancy hotel. We went to the spa and had massages, and then we were all woozy and soft and happy. We asked why everything smelled so good and it turns out this hotel had a “signature scent” and that scent was “sweet mango” and those were the candles we’d been smelling.
So my rich friend got us each a Sweet Mango Candle to take home. We’d burn them in our tiny city apartments and try to remember what the ocean looked like and how beautiful it was to feel all woozy and soft and sweet-mango-style.
45. Orange Sherbert
It tastes like summer and sunshine!
44. Laneia’s Orange Jimi Wallet
“it is amazing and has lasted through so many bonnaroos and other things that are crazy, like dinah shore.”
– Laneia, Executive Editor
43. Claudia Donovan’s Hair
Sometimes when I accidentally dye my hair orange I think, “maybe I could pull off a thing like Claudia” but really nobody is like Claudia, so.
42. Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange“
“Channel Orange is basically the most perfect thing of all time, which i said in many more words that time I reviewed it for this website autostraddle dot com. a mix of raw, lesbian-like emotion (i can’t believe it’s not my diary!), the feeling of popping bottles, and fun, top-down cruising music, it provides you with everything you need for emotional catharsis in a relatively short period of time. frank ocean named the album after the color that reminded him of the gay love that shook his entire world, but it’s okay to listen to it even if you’re like me and the closest you get to appreciating orange in your homogay life is somewhere between your mustard yellow autumn sweater and burnt sienna crayons.”
– Carmen Rios, Feminism Editor
41. Orange Safety Vests
“I think generally speaking wearing a high-visibility vest is always preferable to not wearing one.”
– Marni, A-Camp Co-Director
40. Dried Apricots
On a scale of 1 to ‘dried cherries,’ I give Dried Apricots two thumbs up!
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39. Tiger Lilies
These used to grow in Rachel’s backyard when she lived in Doylestown, PA.
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38. Carrots
They’re good for you!
37. Sweet Potato Fries
ALL THE POTATO FEELINGS.
36. Tegan & Sara “The Orange Demo”
I love “This is Everything” so much, I also think it’s a good song for kissing somebody you just recently fell in love with while you are autostraddling their lap.
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35. Tigers
My favorite kind of tiger is probably Simba.
34. Babies Dressed Up Like Tigers
I want to have a baby one day so I can dress it up like animals.
33. Orange Cream Coolers
Olga’s in the mall has Orange Cream Coolers, if you wanted to go to the mall we could go together and get Orange Cream Coolers.
32. The Rind of Munster Cheese
I like this kind of cheese so much that I rarely actually buy it because I feel like it’s too good to be true.
31. Basketballs
“Basketballs are great because if you yell at them when they won’t go in the basket, they just keep doing their thing and they don’t get upset with you because they get it. They also are the best stress ball you could ask for. Spend some time caressing the leathery dimpled roundness of a basketball and there’s no way you won’t feel better.”
– Brittani Nichols, Sports Editor
30. Tigger
Love this guy. Barrel of laughs! Always in the mood to have a good time.
29. Halloween
The official color of Halloween is orange.
28. Ripley’s Shirt in “Lumberjanes“
“Ripley’s shirt is orange because that’s the color Noelle colored it in her original character design. I think it’s because no one was wearing orange yet.”
– Forever Intern Grace
Riese in Illinois spirit gear circa 1984
27. The University of Illinois-Champaign
Because I got born in Champaign, Illinois, home of the Fighting Illini!
26. The University of Texas – Austin
“Burnt orange does not look good on anyone but it is the official color of my alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin. And you better believe we have so much mothaf*cking TEXAS pride that we will wear our orange shirts frequently over four years and well into our post-grad days. We live and breathe one of our football mantras, “Come early. Be loud. Stay late. Wear orange.” Hook’em Horns!”
–Yvonne Marquez, Associate Editor
25. Reese’s Pieces
I actually invented these, that’s why I like them so much. I stood right there in the factory and said “HEY, MORE PEANUT BUTTER.” They ignored me but luckily peanut butter M’n’Ms also exist and are excellent in their own special way.
24. Animal the Muppet
Animal represents the animal inside all of us yearning to be free.
23. Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson
OR ARE THEY???!!
22. Scissoring
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21. Nectarines
FRUITS ARE THE BEST OF ALL THINGS
20. Cheez-Its
I used to think that I had some kind of stomach problem because whenever I ate Cheez-Its I would feel really sick afterwards but now I realize I was just eating too many Cheez-Its.
19. Monument Valley
Sometimes when I look at pictures of beautiful things I’ve never seen with my own two eyes, I get “The Circle of Life” stuck in my head and it’s weird.
18. Flintstones Push-Up Pops
These were my FAVORITES. Laneia used to save the plastic disc part from the bottom because they seemed really sturdy and reusable but she never really got to live her dream and figure out what to do with them, so.
17. The WNBA Logo
The WNBA loves lesbians, y’all, and thus we love the WNBA. It’s sort of like when that girl from high school finally comes out and you’re like, oh good, now we can get real.
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16. Cheddar Cheese
15. Hobbes from “Calvin and Hobbes”
“Hobbes is the best, he is an imaginary friend that blurs the line between real and make-believe. He looks like he would be great to cuddle with and his perspective on life was very valuable to me as I grew up. To sum, I leave you with this quote from a Calvin + Hobbes strip that I memorized in my youth. It’s from the G.R.O.S.S. chant– Three cheers for First Tiger and El Presidente, Hobbes! The delight of all cognoscenti. He’s savvy, he has a prodigious I.Q. And lots of panache, as all tigers do. In his fancy chapeau he’s a leader with taste, May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced.”
– DJ Carlytron, A-Camp Special Programming Director
14. Prescription Bottles
Nothing beats ’em.
13. Fresh-Squeezed Orange Juice
My pal Marni and I recently had brunch at Little Louie’s cafe in Point Richmond and the fresh-squeezed orange juice was the all-time greatest, which was a big relief because it was also really expensive.
Riese in a pile of leaves circa 1984
12. Autumn Leaves
As illustrated I have enjoyed the autumn leaves pretty much since birth.
11. This picture of Rachel holding a bag of oranges in Palm Springs
Where did these oranges even come from? Also notice how Rachel is holding them as if the oranges are a baby in a diaper who needs to be changed. This is proof that Rachel will be a great mother one day.
10. The Grand Canyon
IT’S ONLY ONE OF THE GRANDEST THINGS ON THE WHOLE GOSHDARN PLANET!!!
9. Peaches
A bit of time ago, I was going on a hike, and like most of the times I go on hikes, it didn’t really occur to me until we arrived at the hike-site that maybe I should’ve eaten more than half an Odwalla bar for breakfast if I planned on, you know, hiking. Then my pal was like, here, I have a peach in my bag do you want to eat it, and I was like, yes, and it was delicious. Then we hiked a billion miles and got super lost but that’s another story.
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8. Clementines
I like clementines a little bit better than oranges, but they aren’t as versatile, so. Look at those tiny little rounded wedges of orangey goodness ugh.
7. Bulleit Bourbon
This is the best Bourbon in the whole universe in my opinion, and therefore it is the best beverage in the whole universe.
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6. Campfires
Because then it means we’re at camp. Can you bring your guitar and the flask and I guess also some water and a blanket, we can sit underneath it together.
5. These Books
These are all the books on my bookshelves with orange spines! I was surprised there weren’t more, because Penguin really likes the color orange, but here we are. As you can tell I buy all my books brand new and then I keep my books in pristine condition.
4. This Book
the view out my bedroom window HAHAAHAHA JK I mean “via shutterstock“
3. Sunsets
You can’t beat a sunset! One time I played rock-paper-scissors and sunset won EVERY TIME. Every single time you guys.
2. Oranges
Oranges are the reason that oranges are orange.
I dunno I heard you guys kinda like this show? Confirm/deny?
1. Orange is The New Black
IS IT TIME YET LESBIAN JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER IS IT TIME YETTTTT