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49. Iceland Poppies
What if we had a whole field of these in our yard, what then.
48. Orange Nail Polish
“I’m gonna buy some orange nail polish today and see how it goes. Megan will be pleased with that use of my time I’m sure.”
– Laneia, Executive Editor
47. The Detroit Tigers
This is my home team, you see, so I can’t very well leave it out.
46. Sweet Mango Candle
Once upon a time we had a rich friend and she took us all the way to Key Biscayne, Florida, to a fancy hotel. We went to the spa and had massages, and then we were all woozy and soft and happy. We asked why everything smelled so good and it turns out this hotel had a “signature scent” and that scent was “sweet mango” and those were the candles we’d been smelling.
So my rich friend got us each a Sweet Mango Candle to take home. We’d burn them in our tiny city apartments and try to remember what the ocean looked like and how beautiful it was to feel all woozy and soft and sweet-mango-style.
45. Orange Sherbert
It tastes like summer and sunshine!
44. Laneia’s Orange Jimi Wallet
“it is amazing and has lasted through so many bonnaroos and other things that are crazy, like dinah shore.”
– Laneia, Executive Editor
43. Claudia Donovan’s Hair
Sometimes when I accidentally dye my hair orange I think, “maybe I could pull off a thing like Claudia” but really nobody is like Claudia, so.
42. Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange“
“Channel Orange is basically the most perfect thing of all time, which i said in many more words that time I reviewed it for this website autostraddle dot com. a mix of raw, lesbian-like emotion (i can’t believe it’s not my diary!), the feeling of popping bottles, and fun, top-down cruising music, it provides you with everything you need for emotional catharsis in a relatively short period of time. frank ocean named the album after the color that reminded him of the gay love that shook his entire world, but it’s okay to listen to it even if you’re like me and the closest you get to appreciating orange in your homogay life is somewhere between your mustard yellow autumn sweater and burnt sienna crayons.”
– Carmen Rios, Feminism Editor
41. Orange Safety Vests
“I think generally speaking wearing a high-visibility vest is always preferable to not wearing one.”
– Marni, A-Camp Co-Director
40. Dried Apricots
On a scale of 1 to ‘dried cherries,’ I give Dried Apricots two thumbs up!
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39. Tiger Lilies
These used to grow in Rachel’s backyard when she lived in Doylestown, PA.
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38. Carrots
They’re good for you!
37. Sweet Potato Fries
ALL THE POTATO FEELINGS.
36. Tegan & Sara “The Orange Demo”
I love “This is Everything” so much, I also think it’s a good song for kissing somebody you just recently fell in love with while you are autostraddling their lap.
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35. Tigers
My favorite kind of tiger is probably Simba.
34. Babies Dressed Up Like Tigers
I want to have a baby one day so I can dress it up like animals.
33. Orange Cream Coolers
Olga’s in the mall has Orange Cream Coolers, if you wanted to go to the mall we could go together and get Orange Cream Coolers.
32. The Rind of Munster Cheese
I like this kind of cheese so much that I rarely actually buy it because I feel like it’s too good to be true.
31. Basketballs
“Basketballs are great because if you yell at them when they won’t go in the basket, they just keep doing their thing and they don’t get upset with you because they get it. They also are the best stress ball you could ask for. Spend some time caressing the leathery dimpled roundness of a basketball and there’s no way you won’t feel better.”
– Brittani Nichols, Sports Editor
30. Tigger
Love this guy. Barrel of laughs! Always in the mood to have a good time.
29. Halloween
The official color of Halloween is orange.
28. Ripley’s Shirt in “Lumberjanes“
“Ripley’s shirt is orange because that’s the color Noelle colored it in her original character design. I think it’s because no one was wearing orange yet.”
– Forever Intern Grace
Riese in Illinois spirit gear circa 1984
27. The University of Illinois-Champaign
Because I got born in Champaign, Illinois, home of the Fighting Illini!
26. The University of Texas – Austin
“Burnt orange does not look good on anyone but it is the official color of my alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin. And you better believe we have so much mothaf*cking TEXAS pride that we will wear our orange shirts frequently over four years and well into our post-grad days. We live and breathe one of our football mantras, “Come early. Be loud. Stay late. Wear orange.” Hook’em Horns!”
–Yvonne Marquez, Associate Editor
25. Reese’s Pieces
I actually invented these, that’s why I like them so much. I stood right there in the factory and said “HEY, MORE PEANUT BUTTER.” They ignored me but luckily peanut butter M’n’Ms also exist and are excellent in their own special way.
24. Animal the Muppet
Animal represents the animal inside all of us yearning to be free.
23. Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson
OR ARE THEY???!!
22. Scissoring
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21. Nectarines
FRUITS ARE THE BEST OF ALL THINGS
20. Cheez-Its
I used to think that I had some kind of stomach problem because whenever I ate Cheez-Its I would feel really sick afterwards but now I realize I was just eating too many Cheez-Its.
19. Monument Valley
Sometimes when I look at pictures of beautiful things I’ve never seen with my own two eyes, I get “The Circle of Life” stuck in my head and it’s weird.
18. Flintstones Push-Up Pops
These were my FAVORITES. Laneia used to save the plastic disc part from the bottom because they seemed really sturdy and reusable but she never really got to live her dream and figure out what to do with them, so.
17. The WNBA Logo
The WNBA loves lesbians, y’all, and thus we love the WNBA. It’s sort of like when that girl from high school finally comes out and you’re like, oh good, now we can get real.
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16. Cheddar Cheese
15. Hobbes from “Calvin and Hobbes”
“Hobbes is the best, he is an imaginary friend that blurs the line between real and make-believe. He looks like he would be great to cuddle with and his perspective on life was very valuable to me as I grew up. To sum, I leave you with this quote from a Calvin + Hobbes strip that I memorized in my youth. It’s from the G.R.O.S.S. chant– Three cheers for First Tiger and El Presidente, Hobbes! The delight of all cognoscenti. He’s savvy, he has a prodigious I.Q. And lots of panache, as all tigers do. In his fancy chapeau he’s a leader with taste, May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced.”
– DJ Carlytron, A-Camp Special Programming Director
14. Prescription Bottles
Nothing beats ’em.
13. Fresh-Squeezed Orange Juice
My pal Marni and I recently had brunch at Little Louie’s cafe in Point Richmond and the fresh-squeezed orange juice was the all-time greatest, which was a big relief because it was also really expensive.
Riese in a pile of leaves circa 1984
12. Autumn Leaves
As illustrated I have enjoyed the autumn leaves pretty much since birth.
11. This picture of Rachel holding a bag of oranges in Palm Springs
Where did these oranges even come from? Also notice how Rachel is holding them as if the oranges are a baby in a diaper who needs to be changed. This is proof that Rachel will be a great mother one day.
10. The Grand Canyon
IT’S ONLY ONE OF THE GRANDEST THINGS ON THE WHOLE GOSHDARN PLANET!!!
9. Peaches
A bit of time ago, I was going on a hike, and like most of the times I go on hikes, it didn’t really occur to me until we arrived at the hike-site that maybe I should’ve eaten more than half an Odwalla bar for breakfast if I planned on, you know, hiking. Then my pal was like, here, I have a peach in my bag do you want to eat it, and I was like, yes, and it was delicious. Then we hiked a billion miles and got super lost but that’s another story.
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8. Clementines
I like clementines a little bit better than oranges, but they aren’t as versatile, so. Look at those tiny little rounded wedges of orangey goodness ugh.
7. Bulleit Bourbon
This is the best Bourbon in the whole universe in my opinion, and therefore it is the best beverage in the whole universe.
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6. Campfires
Because then it means we’re at camp. Can you bring your guitar and the flask and I guess also some water and a blanket, we can sit underneath it together.
5. These Books
These are all the books on my bookshelves with orange spines! I was surprised there weren’t more, because Penguin really likes the color orange, but here we are. As you can tell I buy all my books brand new and then I keep my books in pristine condition.
4. This Book
the view out my bedroom window HAHAAHAHA JK I mean “via shutterstock“
3. Sunsets
You can’t beat a sunset! One time I played rock-paper-scissors and sunset won EVERY TIME. Every single time you guys.
2. Oranges
Oranges are the reason that oranges are orange.
I dunno I heard you guys kinda like this show? Confirm/deny?
1. Orange is The New Black
IS IT TIME YET LESBIAN JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER IS IT TIME YETTTTT
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
I haven’t finished reading this I just came here to tell everyone that circus peanuts are the fucking worst. I mean I’ve never actually tasted one so i’m just judging with my eyes and brainparts.
i was really counting on you to have a first-hand account of eating circus peanuts after that intro, brianna
I mean I sometimes just hold a bag of them in my hands and wonder. But i’m just as confident as you are in my blind assumption that they are the Actual Worst.
(also while reading this I mentioned in a group gchat situation with my cabin that I have never seen Finding Nemo and I think I started an actual riot)
(I’ve never seen Finding Nemo either)
I saw the picture of circus peanuts and almost threw up a little because I remembered being a brave child and trying them. I always just called them Satan’s candy so I’m glad to know that they have a real name
Actually, circus peanuts are DELICIOUS. Try them.
They are disgusting but fun if you stick them in the microwave. They swell up until they are the size of a sweet potato.
crystal gibson they are marshmallow goodness.
i am here to protest persimmons on your list because they make my tongue feel gross and i think i am allergic to them and once i had to wear a persimmon bridesmaid dress and i hated it.
also laneia let me direct you to this cover girl nail polish called “rogue red” which is actually glittery orange, like, are they stupid? it is definitely not red. it’s really good though. i bought it at rite aid, in a section marked ‘hunger games,’ so i dunno, it’s pretty fancy.
that’s why it’s called ROGUE red, stef, it’s going ROGUE as ORANGE
it’s like the opposite of a blood orange.
persimmons have a weird aftertexture in general maybe? have you ever bitten into a not-ripe persimmon it is the absolute worst.
This is an awesome list but also if it was just Hayley Williams’ hair and Creamsicles over and over again, I would have been ok with that.
I just want to say I really love 70,52,24. I am, one could say obsessed, with all things Muppets and Jim Henson. I was so glad to see them on the list. As well as 30 and 15, cartoon tigers are also a thing I immensely love. <3
I just read this whole thing and now I desperately want cheetos and cheez-its but there are NONE NEAR ME and I might have to settle for cheese on a triscuit but it is just Not going to be the same.
This is a fine piece of journalism, and I appreciate the diligence and research that goes into making such a thoroughly researched list, but… I must respectfully disagree with the placement of Cheez-it crackers so far above the perennial classic Goldfish crackers (is there even a cracker more perfect?).
And also, I had forgotten about creamsicles. Thank you.
I just want everyone to know that I wrote that Hobbes chant from memory.
everyone already knew that, carly. we love you.
I bought circus peanuts once because I thought they’d taste like peanuts but, you know, super sweet peanuts. They did not. They tasted like regret.
Also, my partner started reading this list with me. There is now a pot of macaroni and cheese being made.
I am massively disturbed by the lack of barbecue chips on this list.
The only time I have seen a hazmat suit in action (in a picture in the newspaper), it was green. Maybe that’s because it was a bomb squad? Special colors for special departments?
I’m not sure about all this strange hazmat suit business, so I think the bbq chips should take their place.
Thumbs-upping for BBQ chips
Ahhhh…I love this article. Please never stop making “vapid fluff” articles. I was having a rough day you know trying to beat the patriarchy and this is just fantastic.
DON’T EVER STOP & DON’T PUT BABY IN THE CORNER.
But also better than Orange Julius: http://orangeleafyogurt.com/ann-arbor
Thank you for reminding me that David the gnome exists. I had the full collection of gnomes books on my shelf as a child and all the spines lines up together spelled out Gnomes…IN ORANGE!
This post is actually kind of cute if you’re NOT from The Netherlands, where the national color is ORANGE and days such as Queens/Kingsday, sport events such as world/europian soccer championships, speed skating events are covered in this color. I can’t even walk into a grocery store without being vommited on by orange soccer memorabilia. My connotation with the color orange is bad bad bad, but I’m very happy for the show to be back.
So true, and lets be honest nobody actually looks good in a Roy Donders orange track suit. http://shoppen.blog.nl/files/2014/05/Foto-2-Jumbo-juichpak-Roy-Donders.jpg
Wait, how is like every junk food item on this list other than buffalo wings ranked *higher* than buffalo wings???
In Addition to Mylou’s post though : Orange is also the color of the Dutch field hockey team and those girls are not only the best team in the world (reigning Olympic champion) but have also 4 or 5 out players on the team.
yo i think orange just became my favorite color?
Go vapid fluff! What about Orange m&m s! Very well timed as I have a very orange life right now !!
Also Calvin and Hobbes!!! My fav!!! Attack of the deranged mutant killer snow goons!
So, as someone who looks like they are actually dying every time I wear orange clothes (pasty skin whatever) I now have a newfound appreciation for orange. Vapid fluff changing my life, yo.
i have a theory that cantaloupe farmers have insane lobbyists who struck a deal requiring all fruit salads be at least 70% cantaloupe. that’s is the only explanation, right?
#cantaloupeisnottheonlyfruit.
My friend just told me she wasn’t allowed to watch David the Gnome because apparently it had really backwards ideas about the role of women. Her parents were afraid it would have a bad influence. Seeing he’s on a list on autostraddle, the influence couldn’t have been all bad?
i LOVED david the gnome growing up, but while writing this list i realized i can’t remember anything specific about it other than the episode where they save a bunch of bunnies on a raft, so who knows, really.
I want you to know that my best friend and I totally read this list together while eating Kraft Mac and Cheese. Just fyi. That really enhances the experience.
awwww
I was reading this list and I wanted a snack. I only realized the appropriateness of eating an orange after I had picked it up out of the refrigerator.
My girlfriend shipped two of those giant cheese ball tubs across the country as my six month anniversary gift and that’s true love y’all, cheese balls for #1 in my heart
Now that the ORANGE DONALD is running for president…we should send containers of these Cheese Balls to Hillary and tell her to crush 2 of them every day between now and the election.
uh are you married now? you better be. thats true love right there
This list is possibly my newest favorite thing ever. We were just learning about the sacral chakra in my yoga class today. Also the bit about 1967 orange Shelby Mustang was beautiful because my dad currently has a 1989 Shelby CSX which he’s thinking about selling and that’s the type of car he wants to buy. Also Claudia Donovan CAN WE JUST I definitely
havehad a crush on her when I was younger.I think you forgot one…no love for the University of Tennessee? Go Vols?
you gays are actual geniuses.
i read this whole f-ing list because fire drill, went home early, drinking until dinner.
First of all, YES ANY MUSCLE CAR THAT HAS BOLD COLORS IS STRAIGHT UP SEX.
I LOVE CALVIN AND HOBBES!! My moms has been reading and re-reading my compilation books for the last 4 years I think. I never see those books anymore. She says she’s still using them. O.O
wait but scissoring came with no context and I feel really conflicted about it
This was good! =) EXCEPT, Annoying Orange is NOT last! And the Netherlands should have been worked in here somehow, and Pumpkin Curry.
After reading “creamsicles” my eyes glazed over into nostalgia mode, and I briefly longed for the creamsicle hair (bleached with a couple orange panels) I had when I was 19. Briefly. Every so very briefly.
Also: candy corn. Circus peanuts made the list but not candy corn?? Clearly you didn’t consult a candy expert for this article, which really makes me question your journalism..
You forgot to mention the Syracuse Orange (of Syracuse University, my alma mater) and their mascot, Otto the Orange!
This is AWESOME. On several levels.
..where was candy corn on this list, though?
And where are Dutch orange things?
Mmm cheddar cheese and clementines and Cheezits.
…and now I -kind of- want a Creamsicle.
Three things that I would say are orange are: the sunset, a pumpkin, the fall trees
Why do you have something against gays?
I am a complete stranger who was goofy enough to type “things that are orange” into the advanced Google search. I was looking for something to complement white and green, and it so happens that orange is found in the flags of India and Ireland. (Also Niger, why may be a bit of a bummer, but that’s where we find our best evidence that there was once a “green Sahara.”) I landed here and I declare it to be utterly awesome. Sweet potatoes, monarch butterflies, pumpkins, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Grand Canyon, cheddar cheese, tigers, autumn, sunsets — I’m sold! A future civilization owes its color scheme to you. Thank you.
Why is Donald Trump NOT on this? Seriously.
Agreed! Trump deserves a mention on this list.
garfield deserves better this article sucks balls (they are orange)
You will actually be able to to discern exactly what shade of orange that is when you arrive. You know…for being such a judgmental bigot 😊. Hope you wear a tire for a necklace and some gasoline underwear 🔥
this is so cool like you master
good work at all