Found during the real-life process of searching for images for this article. All images are courtesy of Shutterstock.

1.

shutterstock_92168905
Oh me? Just sort of palpating the top of my left thigh. Yeah, and holding some flowers. What’s up with you, though? (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

2.

shutterstock_211838251
As long as nobody else wearing white shows up in this empty parking lot, I have this wet t-shirt contest in the bag (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

3.

shutterstock_209511919
I’m going to cover this tampon in Thousand Island dressing and eat it (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

4.

shutterstock_162481154
No technically it’s not a cape, because it just covers my upper body. I don’t know, maybe a shrug. Yeah it’s from Hot Topic. What, it was on sale. (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

5.

shutterstock_160027385
Oh wow you did the thing where you put the butt plug in the freezer, okay great (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

6.

shutterstock_193756646
I wasn’t kidding I really need my moisturizer. The one at your apartment doesn’t have hyaluronic acid in it, it’s like a really important ingredient. Can we please just go by my place and get it, we’ll only be like 10 minutes late to brunch. (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

7.

shutterstock_193267421
Hello? You’re not gonna believe where I am right now. It’s the weirdest — yeah, no, I’m in the tree again. Yeah, it’s the same tree. I don’t know, I just thought this time I could do it. Can you come get me. Yeah bring the stepladder for sure. I’ll just be here whenever you’re ready. In the tree. (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

8.

shutterstock_203473285
Oh wow where did you find that? That’s so crazy, I thought it was gone forever. And the cash is still in it and everything? You’re a lifesaver. (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

9.

shutterstock_161777747
Guys where are you going I think we really need to have a house meeting about respecting the compost rules (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)

10.

shutterstock_156827000
Oh I don’t know, I was looking at one of Sandra Lee’s tablescapes and thought it would be cute. No? You don’t think so? What about just the doll. What if we just left the doll in the middle of the — like this. Why not? You’re being really weird about this. (Image courtesy of Shutterstock.)