Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holigay Gift Guide 2014: What We Want

Yvonne, Senior Editor

HoligayPost

Texas State Pendant Necklace

Don’t judge me, ok. I know you’re tired of hearing me say I love Texas, I’m a proud Texan, yadda yadda. But I’ve seen so many girls with a version of this Texas necklace and I am envious every time. I want it so bad! It properly articulates how much I love my home without being over the top and also it’s cute and goes with everything.

Ninja Professional Blender

Last year, I asked for high quality knives and my brother was a sweetheart and gifted them to me! They’ve officially won the most useful gift I’ve ever received. This year I want a blender that will actually chop my veggies and fruits, none of this half-assed bullshit that my current blender produces. I don’t think anyone would get me a Vitamix just yet, but I think this Ninja one is a great upgrade and will get the job done.

Nars Pure Matte Lipstick in Volga

My girlfriend gave me this deep red lipstick last Christmas and I fell in love. Before then, I had only used Burt’s Bees lip shimmer, if that even counts as lip makeup. I’m feeling more confident in how I look with lipstick so I want to expand my horizons and go for a dark wine color. I’ve seen it all over my news feeds and I want to rock it too.

You Do You Stickers

Can y’all believe I don’t have a You Do You sticker? Because I can’t. I want exactly 2 stickers — one for my journal and one for my computer.


Audrey, Contributing Editor

HoligayPost

Clinique Long Last Matte Lipstick in Suede

Blame my mother for my Clinique snobbery — or blame their reasonable prices, no animal testing situation, and always excellent products. This season they’ve finally upped their matte lipstick game, and I want this perfect neutral on my face. But they seem to stock it one tube at a time at the mall in Managua – every time I go they “just ran out.” #help So I am probably going to order it online and have my mother ship it to Nicaragua. That is how far I will go to mimic Ellen Page’s Out cover photo.

Seinheisser Momentum Headphones

My beloved Klipsch S4s are in the process of fluttering off to the big wiry garden in the sky so I am coveting an upgrade to the Seinheisser Momentum overhear headphones. They would be so dreamy for all my holiday listening, like Perfume Genius, Azealia Banks, and Nick Jonas.

Floating, Brilliant, Gone by Franny Choi

My 2014 Write Bloody quotient is way down since I don’t have access to Austin’s Book People on a regular basis, and the new WB book I feel like I need most for my soul is Floating, Brilliant, Gone. Choi writes so beautifully from inside the broken places, and sometimes the heart just needs that.

Dr. Martens Women’s 1460 Re-Invented Victorian Print Lace Up Boot in Black

I’ve been aching more and more to live in all the spaces between femininity and masculinity. Nothing conveys that to me more than floral printed Docs. I have massive feet, so I’m not actually sure I have any business wearing Doc Martens, but #LifeIsAHighway and I want to walk it in these boots.

Shiner Holiday Cheer

The most beautiful gift y’all can all give me for Christmas is to go to your favorite local dive bar, the one with 6+ Willie Nelson records on the jukebox, and order a Shiner Holiday Cheer — on tap if you can find it. Drink it slow and just transmit that vibe to me. #Texas


Ali, Geekery Editor

HoligayPost

Most of the National Book Award Finalist Books

This is a biased list item because I just came back from the National Book Award Reading. But specifically I want to draw everyone’s attention to Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel, which chronicles a traveling Shakespeare company after a flu epidemic wipes out life on earth as we know it. And also Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson, which is YA and I’m an adult, but is a memoir told in poems. Speaking of YA and poetry, I actually think Tumblr and Twitter have uniquely prepared the upcoming generation of readers for poetry (because fragmented narrative, non-traditional form, economy of language and a million other reasons), but that’s an essay for a different day. For now, you just need to know that there’s not a single National Book Award finalist that I wouldn’t be thrilled to get for Christmas.

Noise-Isolating Headphones To Help Me In My Isolation

You know what I want? To never hear the hapless undergraduates accidentally set off the emergency door alarm in The New School library ever again. I also don’t particularly want to hear douchebags talk to each other on aeroplanes. I don’t know sound from my elbow, but I do know gadgets (and I do know that my favorite speaker is a Bowers and Wilkins speaker). I know I don’t want something that’ll drain device battery (so no wireless) and I know I don’t want something that will stick in my ear or push the backs of my earrings into my head. I also know I don’t want Beats because they fall apart faster than you can say “overpriced.”

Food. Literally Any Food That I Don’t Have To Pay For Or Think About

I am both a shitty cook and a poor graduate student. I’m also a vegetarian. That someone could send me a box of vegetables and directions for how to get them into my mouth in a delicious way is, like, legit the best way I can think of to express love right now. Because I have eaten Ramen for dinner for three days now and I’m about to eat a chocolate cookie. Send help.


Chelsey, Editorial Assistant

HoligayPost

Texts from Jane Eyre

I just realized this book existed the other day and I am SUPER UPSET I didn’t order it immediately. Texts from literary characters are pretty much all I ever want to read for the rest of my life.

Bite Lipstick in Apricot

I have been hunting for the perfect red lip for ages, and this one has no bad stuff and apparently includes the amount of resveratrol found in five glasses of red wine? Sign me up.

Question and Antler Sweater

This sweater is really just a work of art.

Paleo in Comparison Cookie Cutter

I’m pretty sure these speak for themselves? THEY ARE DINOSAUR SKELETON COOKIE CUTTERS. I don’t know if much more says Christmas to me than dinosaur skeleton cookies.


Laneia, Executive Editor

HoligayPost

Elephant or Dirty South Pillows

I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m obsessed with pillows right now. I’d happily accept that Elephant Pillow for my bed — like can you even imagine how adorable a bed would be, all made up and neat/tidy topped with a freaking’ elephant pillow? — or the #BLESSEDASFUCK Dirty South situation for my sofa. I just need to express myself through pillows! It’s part of my journey.

Jogger Pants

What if someone gave me these Jogger Pants? How much better would my life be then? Probably substantially better, I bet. I might even go jogging.

Decomposition Notebooks

I’ve got journals and planners covered, but I really need some notebooks for random lists and doodling! These Decomposition Notebooks are made using recycled paper and come with different cover options, and I’m really into the desert themed one because that’s what’s outside my house right now.

Truly Gritty and Gorgeous Bag

This bag is so perfect! The handle AND the shoulder strap are both removable, which means it’ll look sleek and cute no matter how I want to carry it. Also it’s huge. I could fit two or three entire bags of bagels in here.

Sephora Gift Card

Megan gave me a Sephora gift card last year and it took me around nine months to use it because I don’t buy a lot of makeup and couldn’t decide what I needed most. I ended up going with the Urban Decay Natural2 eyeshadow palette and it’s The Fucking Best and I realized that I actually really like makeup shopping! So another gift card from Sephora would just be the bee’s knees. Right now if you give a $25 eGift card, you get $5 from Google Wallet for yourself, so y’all should probably jump on that.

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39 Comments

  1. every year when we do this i am so jealous of other people’s finely-tuned commercial desires. y’all have such good lists! i need to get on your level, but first i wanna get that french press.

    • Man I could have kept going down that rabbit hole but I had to stop at some point both in terms of time wasted and selfishness…

  2. Rachel, Lynda Barry’s Syllabus is FANTASTIC! I am a gigantic Lynda Barry fan, I’ve even briefly met her and she’s more amazing in person than you might imagine! This new book of her’s is so inspiring. I follow the tumblr that most of the material in the book is from, so I’ve seen it, but put all together it made me so excited about creating things. I wanted to write a book after reading it. Its has so many wonderful writing exercises! <3

  3. Ooohh so many things to ask for. I second the bose headphones. I have the active one, it is sweat and water resistant. They are holding up really well after about 1.5 years of constant gym use.

    Also if you like boots you might want to take a peek at seavees.

    But what I want most on my list is for all of you to buy those YDY stickers!!!!!!!!!! =)

  4. wait
    what?

    MAC Rocky Horror Makeup?

    be still my femme and genderfabulous heart

    (KaeLyn, i feel your feels)

    • Hoopla Josee! I mean, like, I really really want it. And that is just a sampling of the full collection…!!!

  5. i thought smartwool was great until i was introduced to darn tough. they are made in vermont and, last i checked, have a lifetime guarantee. where all of my smartwool socks are filled with holes, my darn toughs are still super intact. y’all…these socks are amazing…also, i realize an unhealthy portion of my life is spent thinking about socks.

    • I used to sell hiking socks, amongst other things. I appreciate a good quality long lasting, comfy, wicking sock. On extreme PMT days when I was very stressed I occasionally would tear up selling particularly excellent merino wool based socks.

      And now I’m sharing this on the Internet.

    • Yes I got two pairs of darn tough socks two Christmases ago, they are still in perfect shape. They are also really cool colors!

    • Oooh this is good to know! I have generally been dismissive of DT socks because the only time I’ve had them they were sort of icky little sport socks that were too small, but maybe they are worth giving another shot!

    • Definitely putting these on my Christmas list! Continuing a trend from last year, when my brother gave me a pair of hiking socks and also a can opener that doesn’t work. This year, I’ll settle for socks with a lifetime guarantee, and he can keep his defective kitchen gadgets to himself.

  6. Yes to Hannah’s Zebra pen!

    Zebra pens made me realise it is possible to have strong opinions about a biro.

  7. The only enduring problem of flannel sheets now that I have a bed bigger than a twin (the dog has to sleep somewhere, yanno), is that all the cute fun flannel sheets are too small. :(

    • Go to target! My lovely gf just got the same red plaid flannel ones in the picture, and they are basically the greatest dykiest coziest thing ever and I love them

  8. I just, like a few days ago, learned that cold brew coffee is a thing and totally just bought that pot. Can’t wait to start whipping up homemade, dairy-free frappuccinos (in my new misandrist shirt!)

  9. Laneia! I have that bag! I rarely use it because it’s way bigger than I imagined in would be and it’s hard to get into on the go because you have to use the buttons. But it’s gorgeous and when I’m traveling, it holds all of my things without forcing me to lug a giant backpack around!

  10. and steph, i really want you to get that theremin!
    and bring it to a-camp
    and then serenade your cabin
    <3

  11. I second the Klipsch X11. I had the X5 before it hit its demise the second time in the wash cycle, and it is the best in ears I have ever used. They are so small, light and comfortable. I can only imagine how much nicer the X7(replaced the X5) and X11 are with the better quality cable. I may try and see if I can get the X7/11 cables swapped onto my X5.

  12. Fun update: a super awesome queermo friend who works for the National Book Foundation DID give me both those books for Christmas! She’s the bestest.

  13. How did I not know that Rocky Horror makeup existed?

    I’ll be off now, contemplating the general incompleteness of my life.

    Perhaps it’s shallow and materialistic to think that lipstick could improve my life . . . but I’ll never know until I try.

  14. Smart wool is the best and flannel sheets sound heavenly.

    Also, those victorian print doc Martens are so cute!

  15. Related: my Autostraddle underwear + Lumberjanes just came in the mail today and I am SO EXCITED, it is like early Christmas here!

  16. Riese, I have a copy of Infinite City that I bought for class a couple of years ago and haven’t really read since. It’s a little bent but in pretty good condition otherwise.

    Tell me an address and it’s yours.

  17. I have got to stop reading the descriptions of the books on these types of lists…it’s wreaking havoc on my savings!!

  18. I bought the Winterberry Tart Coat years ago (maybe 5?) and I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH. It’s a gorgeous colour, a beautiful cut with a really fun asymmetric hem, a great collar that you can button up to your neck, cute (*hand made*) leather details, wonderful deep pockets, and is so flattering. I still get compliments on it, and it has held up to the test of time so well!

  19. I own those Victorian print Doc Martens and they are a staple of my wardrobe. I love the mix between butch and femme. I get compliments on them wherever I go :)

  20. Kate, you are a genius and I hope you get that Drake shirt because you truly deserve it.

    And Chelsey, I totally almost put Texts from Jane Eyre on my list, but I left it off because I already had too many things, so I’m glad you put it!

  21. Oh gosh I just put flannel sheets on my bed last night and it is THE best–not only are they incredibly soft but the weight also helps them stay where you put them, so even notorious sheet-twisters (…like me) wake up in properly layered bedding instead of in a tangle of whatever blankets didn’t fall off the bed. It’s miraculous, really.

  22. FYI I got those floral Docs last Christmas. They still are not broken in and I can’t wear them for more than 20 minutes at a time. It is tragic.

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