We’re celebrating Autostraddle’s Fifth Birthday all month long by publishing a bunch of Top Fives. This is one of them!
5. The Eggplant
I’ve heard that some people (for example, the artist behind this “Drunk In Love” emoji music video) use The Eggplant euphemistically. I can see it coming in handy in this way. However, it’s always been my go-to for describing people or things I don’t like. Someone is being a jerk to your friend? That person is now Eggplant. Dreaded appointment with dentist/tax lawyer/landlord? Eggplant on Google calendar. Useful and relatively discreet.
4. SOON feat. Right Arrow
Stuck as it is in the strange and confusing “!?#” department, Soon feat. Right Arrow is critically underrated. It can be used to make plans, predict the future, and illustrate evolution (personal or scientific). Fridays around 4 pm I see it hovering over my work computer, pointing hopefully outdoors.
3. Tropical Fish
Like a real tropical fish, Tropical Fish is a calming presence. Use him to cool down a heated conversation, or help remind a sad friend of a brighter world. He’s also facing leftward so you can easily make him hold a magnifying glass, smoke a cigarette, or yell into a megaphone, all hilarious things that fishes can’t actually do.
2. Smiley Cyrus
Emoji designers were far ahead of their time when they invented Face With Stuck-Out Tongue And Winking Eye, which I have personally rechristened for obvious reasons. I strive for a life in which this emoji is the only one I ever need.
1. Rocket Ship
Rocket Ship has slowly but surely edged out Flamenco Lady as my go-to conduit for expressing pure joy. Just look at it, pointing up and right — to fresh unknown planets, new spiral galaxies, expanding multiverses of adventure. I love the fire in its belly. I love its sharp nose and its little window eye. Go forth, Rocket Ship! Show us the way.
Header Image by Rory Midhani
I can’t believe tongue-out ghost didn’t make this list. That ghost is my go-to for pretty much any situation. Good news from the family? Celebrate with a tongue-out ghost! Girlfriend mad? Is she still mad after a tongue-out ghost? Feeling drunk and a little mischievous? Send everyone a tongue-out ghost! He’s not just for explaining your halloween costume, yall.
my emoji world just opened up a little bit more
my favorite is definitely flamenco lady.
thank you for getting me through girl-being-a-jerk-to-me by calling her an eggplant, the universal symbol for something that seems like it should be good but just isn’t.
lovestruck cat is the actual best. i’m also a fan of bows.
smiley cyrus made me chuckle though.
Imma let you finish, but smiling turd is the best emoji of all time…
Yes! Happy Poop should be numbers 1 through 5 on this list.
Smirking emoji has done wonders for me.
aw i like that fish
You guys? My girlfriend (and I) love emojis so much that she turned them into real life art. L
Premature commenting problems…but look at it! emojiirllol.tumblr.com/
i’ve seen your tumbly before! so good.
me toooo i love itttt
yay! thank you guys. my girlfriend is the artist behind it, but i WILL take credit for attempting to bring the salsa dancer to life. also, i love this emoji article series. more please!
I’m shocked that Leering Poop didn’t make this list. Leering Poop, come on!!
UNRELATED: sorry if this is weird but your tumblr is awesome and i love it. thank you.
The unamused emoji is my favorite and I’m always amazed how relevant it is in so many situations
i’m forever a fan of your lists, you guys.
(and will totally try to incorporate the eggplant into conversations more often..)
well, my favorite combination of emojis by far is the exotic fish followed by that speedy cloud of dust, which makes it look like the fish is actually farting. makes me laugh every time. :D you should try it. it’s so so good. hah!