Top 15 Things I Wrote In My Journal Without Context: January Edition

1. Well that didn’t work.

2. If you’re gonna take a chance, pay attention to the clock ya dumb dumb.

3. It’s the closest moment I’ve ever had to the world stopping. But then again, I just could have been really drunk.

4. Like brain war stuff.

5. She handled the situation totally normally. Meanwhile, I stared at the ground.

6. I know how much lesbians like to talk about their exes so I didn’t ask any follow-up questions.

7. My brother and I have the same amount of forehead wrinkles when we scrunch our faces so I’m worried he might not age gracefully.

8. lol/damn/ouch

9. I did not take into account that [redacted] is a bit of a hot mess.

10. I waited what felt like an hour for a response. It had only been twelve minutes.

11. What in the hot fuck is going on.

12. In summation a SUPER HOT GIRL seemed A LITTLE INTO ME and NOTHING HAPPENED.

13. I guess if I freak the fuck out so much at the prospect of someone reading my journal then I should probably stop doing the things I end up writing about but that seems unattainable at this point in my life.

14. Maybe I am the only person that thinks Alia Shawkat is queer and that shouldn’t make me feel alone but it does?

15. She responded, “I know [winky face] hahaha” so who knows what the fuck that means.

*feature image via PinkFlutteryby

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Brittani

Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.

19 Comments

  1. Oh my gosh this is cool. I want to pick random sentences out of my journal without context and make a list. That would be extremely entertaining

  4. “I waited what felt like an hour for a response. It had only been twelve minutes.”

    this is the truth in all contexts forever

  6. My week has been an odd combo of 10, 12 and 15. Re 15, I need it spelled out for me and ideally glowing in bright neon lettering. Agh agh AGH.

  10. I love this as a thing. Also I think Alia is queer too! I’m waiting for the day she and Ellen Page recognize they have a more-than-friends love for each other.

  17. 12. In summation a SUPER HOT GIRL seemed A LITTLE INTO ME and NOTHING HAPPENED.

    my life story in a sentence

  18. I love the front page link image you chose, but to be fair anything John Green makes me very happy/angsty depending on context. His books are about as gospel as the Harry Potter books, except with a more diverse cast.

  19. “2. If you’re gonna take a chance, pay attention to the clock ya dumb dumb.”

    …crap I need to print this out in XXXXL font and tape it on every wall in my room

Comments are closed.