Alice says it’d be nice to have something real for herself, gazing over at her Gen Z boyfriend doing ambitious aggressive shots with the enthusiasm of a human who doesn’t remember The Gulf War and has not yet witnessed the downfall of his own pretty face. Alice realizes it’s time to cut off this intergenerational romance.
“I actually just got this last minute DJ thing at this loft space downtown,” Teddy tells her, a line that sends immediate chills down the spine of anybody over 35. Alice says it’s past her bedtime, this whole thing is kaput — but she had fun, and she says he gives her hope for future generations. “Well don’t hope too hard,” he counters. “I just did a bump of ketamine in the bathroom.”
Alice nods. “Well, you can work that out on your own time, okay?”
Ivy says “goodnight” to Shane on her way out but by “goodnight” she means, I want you to fuck me on the cement edge of a fancy swimming pool. Before Shane can dwell too excessively, Tess rushes over, bursting at the seams with enthusiasm for what she’s about to show Shane: an empty building right next to the building they were just in!
Tess knows they’re not doing the “marriage and kids thing” because instead they gave birth to a bar and now Tess is thinking she’s ready to buy another baby, but by “baby” she means “bar.” I hope she is giving her full-time employees benefits before considering investing in a second location but okay!
“I love our life together and I want more of it,” says Tess. “I want it all.” That’s what “wanting it all” has always meant to me personally. Not owning just one bar but owning two bars. I hope this one is also a lesbian bar, the most profitable and easily-managed type of bar in the world!
We then zoom on over to a public basketball court, where Finley’s losing the game and thus also losing her attire and in general #Sinley are just being really cute.
Finley would like to renegotiate the rules of strip basketball but Sophie would like to make out. “You’re still fun,” she gushes, before they smash their mouths and bodies together and say that they missed each other and Sophie’s kissing Finley’s shoulder and Finley says she wants to, she really wants to… but she feels like she should actually instead go to a meeting.
It’s Finley’s first night back and all, she says, and she just doesn’t want to fuck it up, and Sophie says that’s okay because that’s what you say when someone wants to go to a meeting. But meetings only last one hour, so they certainly could circle back to this very hot makeout!
We then return to the dormitories of the hallowed institution of California University, where Angie wants to show her visiting girlfriend Jordi her impressive closet space and where she’s hung pics of her fave babe! It’s their first night alone together — Angie’s roommate hasn’t moved in yet — and Angie would like to celebrate but Jordi would like to break up.
Jordi says that it doesn’t make much sense to stay together now that Angie’s in college and they’ll probably be totally different people soon! This was definitely true for me because I was really happy my senior year of high school and then I went to college and was really sad.
Speaking of people who are really sad:
Angie: Why couldn’t you have done this yesterday? That’s fucked up!
Jordi: This isn’t easy, Angie.
Angie: For who? Who isn’t it easy for?
Jordi: For both of us. I’ve never broken up with someone before and I don’t wanna hurt you—
It does make sense for them to break up now that Angie’s in college, but I agree with Angie that Jordi’s timing is questionable and not ideal.
We then transition to a meeting where Finley tells the room she knocked out a bunch of amends that evening but surprisingly enough, not everyone forgave her. Also she tried to have sex with her girlfriend but choked.
Finley’s never quite prepared for anything, really — perhaps due to a lifetime of having minimal control over her circumstances and needing to roll with the punches — and she often seems to think that making a plan is the hardest part of doing a thing, when in fact planning is the easy part, it’s executing that plan where the real challenge lies. Finley says she made a plan in Sober Living but it’s hard now in the real world to see it through, because everything moves really fast, here. (Like her amends!) There are so many decisions to make and she wants it to be different this time but how will she know if she’s really changed?
This is the big question this episode not just for Finley but for Bette and Shane, too. Have they changed enough to make their lives and relationships work better than all the lives and relationships they’ve already lived?
Finley’s monologue continues as a voiceover as we re-visit the rest of our fine friends.
Micah’s down on one knee with his little ring box proposing to Maribel and Maribel’s like … I don’t wanna get married. I wanna have a baby! Okay Maribel!!!!
Back at Chez Alice, our favorite talk show host is firing up Tamimi, an LGBTQ+ dating app that secured a solid brand partnership with Showtime, and adjusting her criteria — sliding the little latch of doom away from 25 and towards 41, where she rests, knowing that I personally am 41.
Meanwhile at the Shess Shack, Shane’s unboxing a box of her own hair products, just to see if she can cop a thrill off the remainders of an expired jar of volumizing wax. Before she can get too high on her own supply, Tess cozies up for a little pre-bed makeout.
Dani arrives at Gigi’s to find our favorite character in a nightshirt reading a book, because perfect women do perfect things. Dani says tonight was great! Bette asked her to do a gallery job, and Sophie’s gonna talk to Alice about Dani doing The Aloce Show’s hundredth episode! After sharing her good news she asks Gigi how it went with Nat. Gigi closes her book and looks up at Dani like somebody without any more lines in this episode.
Finley’s voiceover continues — she feels lucky to be here, just like an Oscar nominee, and feels like she’s got a real shot this time — as Finley herself arrives home. She settles into bed next to Sophie and hugs her really close in their little cloud of bedding as the camera pans over to Sophie’s phone, buzzing just a bit over a very unlikely iPhone background… IT’S A “U UP” TEXT FROM SOMEONE NAMED DRE, A U UP text! From Dre! With a RAINBOW in it.
We then return to where we began: The Porter House, where Bette’s made some tea for two and is ready to talk to Tina about the past entire year of her life. For example, Bette found her Mom!
Bette also testifies that she revisited the doomed Silent Meditation Retreat from Season Three — which she’d escaped after ten days — with renewed vigor, and this time she emerged victorious. As you may recall, the first time I’m not sure she was committed to meditation so much as the show was committed to masking Jennifer Beals’ pregnancy in tunics and stacks of blankets. Bette’s 2022 Meditation experience was far superior, enabling her to achieve serenity, although it probably helped that Tina wasn’t banging Henry against the wall of the nursery while Bette was trying to find inner peace in the woodlands of Southwestern Canada.
On Bette’s second day of silence, a question kept echoing: “where did the good go?” Just kidding the question was “who taught me how to love” and the answer was “Mom!” Bette realized she needed to be open to hearing from her mother and also forgiving her, which was very freeing, as was telling her Mom all about Tiny Tina and their little baby Angie.
But now it is late. The sky barely remembers the sun. The crickets are chirping in fields of pesticides, stars are lighting up the night sky, the tide has ebbed, the traffic is inching along one lane on Beverly, and it’s time for Tina to rest her own weary head. Before she can exit the premises, however, forces greater than all of us compel her towards Bette. They are intertwining their fingers, and leaning closer together, and then they are kissing, slow but familiar and excited because “getting back together” has always been their favorite part of the Bettinian Cycle and just as things are truly heating up and the suggestive soundtrack is screaming about feeling their feelings, there’s a click at the door and ….
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Angie says, and we CUT TO BLACK.
The Round-Up:
Sex Scenes: 1 this episode, 1 all season
Squabbles: 1 this episode, 1 all season
Quote of the Week:Â “Well, we’re all going to die, so what’s a little bumper, right?”
Well, I hope you enjoyed this L Word Generation Q 301 recap and I personally am so excited for this season and dying to hear your thoughts on the first episode!!
