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The Autostraddle Insider Issue 93: June 2022

Letter From Your Editors

HAPPY FUCKING PRIDE to you A+ member!

Anya and her mom wear matching outfits with an absolutely WILD PATTERN on them! They both smile and pose for the camera in this full length photo. Anya and her mom are both white women, Anya with long blonde and brown hair and her mom with white and gray short hair. Anya wears glasses.
Carmen looks like an absolute goddess in this white or light pink full length sundress. She is a Black woman wearing sunglasses with medium-short curly black hair. Carmen is wearing Birkenstocks and smiling in front of a grove of trees.
Casey is here with her baby who is chewing on a "pride colors" toy. Casey is a white woman with medium short brown hair and glasses. She is smiling and her baby is concentrating on the book.
Dani is here in a pink outfit with matching eyeshadow, lipstick and glasses! Dani is a Black woman, her hair is up in a bun and she is wearing a golden necklace. Dappled sunlight from blinds washes over her.
Drew is standing on one foot on a couch in what is presumably a cabin, pointing to a sign that reads 'whatever happens in this cabin, stays in this cabin.; Drew is a white woman with curly, long brown hair wearing short olive shorts and a denim vest.
Heather is sitting her on her courch with one of her cats in her lap while playing video games. Heather is a white woman wearing a backwards orange baseball cap, headphones, colorful socks, basketball shorts and sneakers. Her cat is nuzzling her arm.
Himani is smiling in sunlight in front of a trellis covered in vines, with a light pink or write rose tucked above her ear. She is a south Asian woman with short dark salt and pepper hair, glasses, and several ear piercings. She is wearing a pattenred shirt.
Katie is at a Pride event! Katie is a white woman wearing rainbow sunglasses and a rainbow headband tied at the top of her blonde hair. You can vaguely see people marching in the background.
Kayla stands with her girlfriend Kristen in front of an ivy covered wall. Kristen is a white butch human wearing a blue suit. Kayla is a South Asian woman wearing a satiny blue dress with long brown hair and glasses.
Laneia leans in for a photo with her cat winona. Laneia is a white woman with blonde hair looking directly at the camera. Her hair is short and she is wearing a white tee shirt. The cat is a tabby looking cat.
Nicole, a genderqueer white human kneels and holds their malamute mix rescue dog in front of a beautiful rippling blue river with a view of green trees on the other side. They are wearing a black tee shirt and gray jeans. Mya is trying to escape to jump in. Nicole has a tattoo sleeve visible on one of their arms.
Ro gestures euphorically while holding what looks like some takeout containers. Ro is a white human with short brown hai wearing al black with an all black mask.
Sai, her fiancee Beth and her kid. Sai is a Black woman with short hair and glasses wearing a tank top. Beth is a white woman with short brown hair and glasses.
Shelli is wearing gold jewelr, a white tank top, and an amazing makeup situation with burgundy lips and white dots around her eyes. Shelli is a Black woman and a tattoo is visible on her arm.
Tracy is here against a background of flowers. Tracy is an asian woman with curly dark hair, wearing a few necklaces and a tee shirt with multiple earrings, a big smile and a slit in her eyebrow.
Valerie Anne is a white woman with blonde and brown hair who is against an ivy background. She is wearing a black tee shirt. And she is smiling.
Vanessa is smiling down at a box of strawberries. She is a white woman with long brown hair and colorful floral glasses.
Viv is wearing a cap while dying their hair. Viv is an Asian human who is looking at the camera steadfastly.
The prompt? Just living our best lives this June.

It’s uh, been a month hasn’t it? This is Nicole and you might notice that I don’t normally do this! However, Carmen’s out on a well-deserved vacation, and so it is I, your A+ Director, here to give you some letter-from-the-editor thoughts.

First and foremost, on this last month of Pride sponsorship and corporate pink-washing and the same three organizations getting all the donations while local, more grassroots groups get overlooked, we have you all on the brain. YOU have made sure we haven’t gone under yet, and you are the reason we’re here, queer all year. You’re the reason we can continue to publish everything we do here. On a slightly related note, before we talk about what happened this month in 2022, for anyone who wants to revisit it or for folks new to reading Autostraddle, I am going to briefly suggest that this is a great time of year to check out our entire No Justice, No Pride run from 2020, which was some truly stellar work.

This month marked what might have been our most downright abundant Pride Package ever. In her A+ Editor’s Notes, Kayla brings you into our team’s ethos surrounding the project as well as her own personal experiences influencing her leadership of this year’s Autostraddle Pride Package — and you have to read this. You just do. But I will make one additional note. Kayla modestly says that she had over 2 dozen pieces, but I just checked and I counted 28!! That’s right. 27 Pride articles (and 1 member event / discord situation) happened this Pride and that is just 2 shy of having something for every day of the month! I’m so deeply proud to work at a place where we said, you know what, we aren’t going to let mainstream publications steal our shine this Pride. We’re going to make this month about us, at this indie queer publication. We’re going to step up for each other and our community, like queer and trans people always have and like we always will, no matter what we face.

And then, this month was also marked by the Supreme Court Decision on Roe v Wade. I know that many of you are grieving, scared — that many of you knew this was coming, or that you’re already exhausted from fighting for our rights and the rights of trans and queer youth in states where anti trans and queer legislation has passed or is being pushed. What I also know is that it’s the people in our queer community, people like you, who are organizing, protesting, providing abortions and reproductive and gender affirming care, who are volunteering and donatingand fundraising, who are checking in on their friends and vulnerable members of our community, who are sharing their stories and having hard conversations with family members. So, I say this during Autostraddle fundraisers, but I’ll say it here, too. Thank you for what you’re doing, and, also, you don’t have to do everything. We each just have to do something. I know you know this, but it bears repeating in overwhelming moments that it’s about each of us plugging in where we can, using our individual skills to benefit the whole — that’s how we’re going to fight and change what we can. Thank you for supporting us, because it allows us to do things like immediately hold a feelings atrium, and to publish this super helpful guide to medication abortion — and more. I’m truly grateful for the community we’ve built, this queer home on the internet, and I want you to know that we’re holding you in our hearts right now.

AND SPEAKING of being on the internet, which we are, we sure did publish some A+ content! We had the general A+ Advice Box and the themed one on Wellbeing (July’s theme is breakup’s — get your questions in by Monday!). In favor of team Love Is Not a Lie (here I’m laughing because Carmen is Team Love Is a Lie) we have Laneia interviewing her girlfriend, Amanda and Sa’iyda interviewing her fiancee, Beth. We had a roundtable on the physical items we literally bring with us, and one on our enemies. We published an anonymous sex diary from someone who just moved in with their girlfriend, and a Member2Member post just for sharing podcast recommendations. Heather published this deeply moving essay about her mother’s passing. Lastly, we answered all the non-advice-box questions you send us in the latest of our bimonthly column, Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us.

Finally, if you’re a fan of Wait Is This a Date (the first episode of the second season is out now!), as an A+ member, you get to submit to their mailbag episodes, and I think it would be really great if you did that!

Love,

Nicole / Carmen / Riese / Laneia / Kayla / Heather / Anya / Viv

A triangle divider icon in an iridescent blue gradient.

These posts were hella popular last month.

drawing of an espresso machine
hayley kiyoko and becca tilley
Bruce Springstein quiz options
zendaya and anne hathway in a homoerotic commercial
Crishell of selling sunset
Sue Bird and Diana fighting, Megan Rapinoe giving a thumbs up
A woman stands near a bicycle in front of a blue-painted set of shuttered doors
holland taylor and sarah paulson

1. What in the Lesbian Heck is This? The Princess Diaries 3 Featuring Zendaya? by Heather
2. Butter Me Up and Call me Escrow, Crishell from “Selling Sunset” Is Dating Non-Binary Musician G-Flip! by Anya
3. Pop Culture Fix: Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi Scrap, Lesbian Aunt Megan Approves, by Heather
4. May 2022: What’s New, Gay and Streaming on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, HBO Max, Etc, by Riese
5. Just a Random Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson Appreciation Post, by Kayla
6. Quiz: Decorate a House and I’ll Tell You Your Toxic Trait, by Kayla
7. Quiz: Which Gay Bruce Springsteen Song Are You? by Niko
8. Pop Culture Fix: Sandra Oh Really Wants You to Know Eve Polastri Is Not Straight, by Heather
9. Five Ways I’ve Changed Since Buying an Espresso Machine, by Dani
10. Come to Lesbian Jesus, Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley Have Confirmed Their 4-Year Relationship, by Riese

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Riese: i do feel as though kristen may regret this move
i suspect the numbers of queer paranormal ghost hunters will double overnight
Laneia: i hope nicole applies
Kayla: Kristen Stewart Is Looking for Gay Ghost Hunters — Aren’t We All?
Kristen Stewart Seeks Gay Ghost Hunters — I’m Excited To Announce My New Career as a Gay Ghost Hunter
Riese: HAHAHAHAA
Kayla: Some Personal News: I’m a Gay Ghost Hunter Now

Vanessa: someone plz embroider “oh, heather edited those nips right out!” on a throw pillow
also “special occasion nipples”
ok just an entire throw pillow line about nipples on autostraddle plz

[two hours later]

Carmen: Ro re: publishing nipples, from our trusted CEO!
“it would be better if you did not unless it feels very necessary”
Ro: Thank you for the info! I love receiving work messages re: nipples. It makes me feel alive!

Carmen: EXCUSE METESSA THOMPSONIS LICKING A SWORD AND NO ONE TOLD ME

Tessa Thompson dressed as Valkyrie in "Thor: Love and Thunder," licking a sword with tongue during battle. Behind her is blurry gold buildings.

Everyone is fired.
Heather: wait what’s that from????? not the trailer? i have studied that trailer; surely i didn’t miss THIS!
Carmen: it’s a new special trailer designed to give me a heart attack, apparently.
Shelli: I — AM — SCREAMING AT THIS BEING A SOLID FIREABLE OFFENSE

Anya: beanie feldstein is one of those celebrities who i feel like i’m personally close friends with and then i’m like how do we know each other again? college? theater camp? and then i’m like wait you don’t actually know her literally at all, even once
Kayla: ok LITERALLY SAME
kristen interviewed her over Zoom during like peak pandemic when we were trapped in a loft in Vegas so i was just upstairs during the whole thing
but in my mind I’m like “oh yeah that time Beanie came over to hang out”
Anya: i mean then you basically DO know her
i guess she’s just our age and has an extremely approachable vibe lol
Carmen: no i know the feeling, i went to theater camp with like 4 beanies
easy

Kayla: One of the gayest things that ever happened to me in my life is that I bought a pair of pants from Urban Outfitters and when they rang up they were apparently called “utility gauchos”
Nicole: LOL
Kayla: I could fit an entire book in one of the pockets
Riese: hahahahaha
Kayla: I went apple picking in my utility gauchos and kept bragging about how many apples I could fit in my pockets
Riese: This story keeps getting gayer.

Yash: hello i’m back again and i’ve made another goofy chaotic thing:

A graphic yash has made featuring a 1950s American Girl Doll. On it, it says, 'we need an american girl doll who navigated bar-era butch/femme dynamics' who is holding boots of leather, slippers of gold a history of a lesbian community

Stef Rubino: lmaoYASHomg,thisissofunnytomebecauseijustfinishedreadingBrownNeonandtheytalkaboutthatalotinthere
Yash: the way i legit scrolled through all the doll outfits looking for anything properly butch. THE PICKINS WERE SLIM
Darcy: if i were a slightly different person i would dig my american girl dolls out of my cousin’s closet, style them like lesbians and give them an instagram
Yash: darcy,,,,,,,
Darcy: hahaha
Yash: darcy please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Darcy: rofl
i wonder if they’d fit in newborn boy’s handsome clothes
here’s for Sam, attending a wedding

this is a baby outfit with a blue collared shirt with a polka dot pattern striped suspenders and gray tweed pants with a matching gray bow tie

Darcy: i’d have to alter the pants lol
Yash: d a r c y
Darcy: here’s for Addy who likes to work on cars while she thinks about her dissertation

This is a baby outfit that is essentially a canvas colored onesie with a "little adventurer" patch on it. It's like a collared coverall look.

Yash: D A R C Y
Darcy: see this is why we need unlimited money for hobbies
also i haven’t been to the american girl doll website, well, ever, and there are so many gay dolls now???
Yash: they’re all gay. gays all the way down.
Darcy: this doll is off to their first semester at smith

This is a white, blue eyed, blonde haired american girl doll with short hair wearing a long-sleeved polo, a vest, jeans, shoes that look like vans, holding a cell phone and money. the accessories are books called "friends", a plaid backpack, water bottle and what looks like a smaller book.

Yash: the fact that that doll is holding literal money skdjfksd
Darcy: rofl
“what doll did you order?” “oh, Privilege”

Abeni: I got a PR email from “dad grass” which is a weed company and they sent me some weed a year or two ago for Pride and I didn’t even write a review or anything. And they emailed me again asking if I want some product for review. And I said sure! Because, whatever lol. And once again I said I wasn’t promising a review but tbh the weed was pretty good. It was high CBD very low THC so it was really chill weed that barely gets you high. Which is really my energy these days :slightly_smiling_face:

a preview image of Dad Grass's post about their pride collection. "Introducing The Dad Grass Pride 2022 Collection. We're donating 100% of the sales proceeds from our Pride 2022 collection to Equality California. It features a bucket hat with "Daddy" emboridered on it and a baseball cap that says "Daddy Chill"

Vanessa: hahahahahahahhaha abeni i’m obsessed with this story
i want the Daddy Chill hat for my gf
Stef Rubino: damn, i wish i could wear hats (nothing’s wrong, just got a big ass head)
that Daddy Chill hat is too good
Vanessa: hahaha stef
“nothing’s wrong, just got a big ass head” might be my new email sign off
Stef Rubino: lmaoo just wanted to be clear that i’m like fine (i guess) but my head could be smaller
Abeni: i told them i have a large head and wear XL unisex t-shirt in case they send me merch too. If so, I’d happily forward the daddy chill hat to you Vanessa
Abeni: i can’t wear hats bc I have big hair
Stef Rubino: yeah, my hair certainly doesn’t help but i think it’s mostly the skull
Ro: I can’t wear hats because they make me look like I’m on a Lil Sluggers t-ball team. Can anyone here wear hats??
Vanessa: i can’t wear hats because i look weird in them
Sa’iyda (Sai): my hair is now too tall for most hats, which is truly devastating
Abeni: i was gonna say it sound like hats are homophobic but then again studs be wearing the fuck out of hats so
Ro: Reasons Why We Can’t Wear Hats: A Depressing Roundtable

Lily Alvarado: It’s so stupid but SO funny
Stef Rubino: it really is funny in an absurd way
Sa’iyda (Sai): oh sweet baby jesus, this is hilarious
Darcy: to be fair to them, the two bottoms is a representation of about a third of my relationships
Niko Stratis: Oh my god
Lily Alvarado: Maybe it’s the representation we needed after all
Shelli Nicole: Ok but I love this
Stef Rubino: to be fair, two sesame buns is kind of genius. i bet it’s so good.
Niko Stratis: Two Sesame Tops
Stef Rubino: ok…is it a band or is it a cafe?
Niko Stratis: It feels like a food truck
Like…an artisanal grilled cheese food truck circa 2016
Darcy: run by two best friends who are both tops
Stef Rubino: hahaha very Florida of me but sometimes i forget food trucks exist
i agree, though. it does feel very artisanal grilled cheese food truck circa 2016
Drew Gregory: I love that Burger King is absolutely thinking of this as man/man woman/woman representation and does not realize what they have done
Darcy: OH
Niko Stratis: What are the two genders of bun?
Darcy: i legit had not figured out what straight people reasoning they were using
Stef Rubino: is bun not its own gender??
Niko Stratis: Sesame top – lady, plain bottom – man
Drew Gregory: I want to know what gender a patty melt has
Niko Stratis: Non binary
Drew Gregory: t4t
Lily Alvarado: Quiz idea: what Burger King gender are you?
Stef Rubino: i just think patty melt IS a gender tbh
Darcy: my gender is BLT
Niko Stratis: LOL
Stef Rubino: a gender i want to have
Niko Stratis What sandwich is your gender
Stef Rubino see now THAT is the question
let’s stop gendering things and let’s make things a gender
Drew Gregory: I want to say meatball sub but the trans jokes write themselves
Niko Stratis: Oh my god
My gender is breakfast sandwich
I think
Just when I thought I was done choosing genders
Valerie: my gender is french fries. extra salty.
Stef Rubino: this is such a hard decision, feeling PRESSURE
Casey: I think I’m a BLT with avocado, aka BLAT
Omg darcy just realized you picked the same!
Who is writing this quiz, for real
yes, seriously
Meg: yeah i’m gonna go with lox & cream cheese on a bagel for my gender, feels right
shea: my gender is PB&J with the crust cut off, cut in squares, put in a plastic bag with my name on it (with hearts around it of course)
Darcy: wow wow wow i love these
Stef Rubino: ok ok, mine is a classic cheeseburger, potato bun, with all the fixins
or maybe sausage and peppers on a hoagie
Katie: Im so glad this is the convo I came to find after the Mormon temple y’all are wonderful
I think my gender is some sort of colorful pop tart like kinda femme and colorful but with hard edges
Darcy: one thing is clear: it’s time for lunch

Heather: oh my god Sally explain this immediately

Sally: I’m not sure what there is to explain here. You take your cheese, you roll it down a hill, you chase after it.
I mean, what else would you do with your cheese? Sit and look at it?
Heather: CHEESE ROLLING
these people are being like med-evaced!
Shelli Nicole: omigosh every year people get hurt in that
like hurt BAD
shea: White people
Sally: Also this

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What We’ve Been Reading

the cover of Last Night At The Telegraph Club which features a queer couple illustrated standing in a streetlight in San Francisco's Chinatown

Last Night at the Telegraph Club

by Malinda Lo

Carmen

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The cover of "Our Wives Under the Sea" featuring rose-colored waves of water and a sunset sky.

Our Wives Under the Sea

by Julia Armfield

Casey

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The cover of "Patricia Wants to Cuddle" featuring a hairy gorilla arm with painted red nails holding a white woman taking a selfie.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle

by Samantha Allen

Kayla

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The cover of "A Psalm for the Wild-Built" which shows a robot encountering a tea monk against a gorgeous vegetal backdrop.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built

by Becky Chambers

Casey

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The cover of "The Secret to Superhuman Strength" featuring a self portrait of the author stretching in front of various pieces of exercise equipment, all in the artist's signature style.

The Secret to Superhuman Strength

by Alison Bechdel

Riese

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The cover of "Shut Up You're Pretty" which has a background of a still life of decaying flowers.

Shut Up You’re Pretty

by Téa Mutonji

Drew

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The cover of "So Happy For You" which has a bouquet of flower that is on fire on it.

So Happy For You

by Celia Laskey

Ashni

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The cover of "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight In Heaven" which has a basketball hoop, rainbow trout, and cloudy depictions of the lone ranger and tonto boxing in heaven up in the sky.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven

by Sherman Alexie

Drew

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The cover of "The Girls Are Never Gone" with the dead fingers with done nails of a girl poking up above a dark body of water.

The Girls Are Never Gone

by Sarah Glenn March

Ashni

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The cover of "Virology" which features a few abstract designs which are made of shapes and body parts.

Virology

by Joseph Osmundson

Vanessa

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The cover of Waht My Bones Grow which shows crossed bones over a backdrop of flowers.

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

by Stephanie Foo

Ro

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The cover of "Under the Whispering Door" which has an illustration of an oddly stacked house located within a forest with the shadow of a deer in the background.

Under the Whispering Door

by TJ Klune

Heather

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Diner Week Cometh

A fried egg hovers ominously, mystically over a forest and mountain terrain, surrounded by a mysterious neon pink circle.

Kayla Kumari: @channel Diner Week is happening! head to#backpage for deets :smiling_face_with_tear::knife_fork_plate::coffee:
Yash: OHHH FUCK YES
Dani Janae: DINER WEEK
Drew Gregory: When this popped up on my phone I read it as dinner week and I got excited but now that I see it’sdinerweek I’m even more thrilled!
Niko: I was in a meeting when I saw this and I got so excited and totally derailed the conversation. Loooooove it
Nicole: I am seriously SO JAZZED for Diner Week. Really just smashing together two places that feel like home, Autostraddle + Diners
Em: I was in a group of queer friends who met every week to watch Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive In, and Dives and they called themselves “Diners, Drive Ins and Dykes.”
brilliant
Nicole: @Em this is the information I needed today
Kayla Kumari: WHEN I TOLD MY GF ABOUT DINER WEEK SHE IMMEDIATELY SAID “DINERS, DRIVE INS, AND DYKES”
Em: I mean Guy Fieri has been fully been adopted by queer women, it all checks out. Plus I just love that show tbh
Niko Stratis: Guy also has the story about his sister, who was a lesbian, who passed away. He has her name tattooed on his arm. Officiated a massive gay wedding with like… 100 couples or something
Nicole: i remember kristen stewart wanted him to officiate her wedding, too, i think
Kayla Kumari: in orlando, he opened his own fast-casual chicken restaurant DIRECTLY across from a chick-fil-a which felt very intentional/pointed!
we luv an ally
Niko Stratis: Oh my god, @Kayla Kumari, did you watch his reality show where they try and find the next chicken guy franchise owner?
Now I’m just going down a Fieri rabbit hole
Kayla Kumari: no omg!!!!!!! i need to!!!!
Yash: DINERS DRIVE INS AND DYKES
Niko Stratis: I’m old and sober, we just watch the food network all day
Yash: OHHHH MY GOD
Lily Alvarado: the merch needs to happen
Niko Stratis: my life’s dream is to interview him inside his grocery store
Stef Rubino: holy shit, i can’t believe i missed all this because i was in a fucking meeting at work!!!
listen, as a big Guy head, all of this makes me very excited
he’s the only politician that matters
everyone else gets a body slam
but not Guy

Stef stands, overjoyed, unfurling a giant flag in front of them. The flag is a Vote Fiere Mayor of Flavortown flag with huge, bold, text in red white and blue. Guy Fieri is on it in his signature exuberant pose, bleached hair and firey shirt. Stef is a white person with glasses and long brown hair who in this photo is largely obscured by this huge flag.
Here Stef stands behind a cardboard cutout of Guy Fieri holding up the V for victory sign with each hand. Stef is wearing a floral print shirt, jeans, sneakers and glasses and is in a classroom. A tiny cutout of guy fieri also peeks out from atop a bulletin board.
Robot check: how many Guy Fieris are in this image?

Niko Stratis: Stef, that flaggggggg
Stef Rubino: i always say to my students that he’s the only politician i trust, so over the years, they’ve fed the obsession lol
Nicole: oh my goooood
Lily Alvarado: Stef that picture of you holding the flag is everything to me
Yash: stef i am in LOVE
hahaha i was laughing so hard because i was shocked and also it’s so big
now it’s on my classroom wall. keeping back to school night interesting, ya know??
Em: it seems like we need this to be a thing
Yash: before you ask, yes that IS the font from the original dykes to watch out for

Meg: yeah i’m gonna need some diners, drive-ins & dykes merch immediately
stef rubino: holyyy shit Yash YES
need that shirt today
Lily Alvarado: Diners, drive-ins, and dykes are my three great loves
Niko Statis: This is everything Yash!

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What We’ve Been Watching

the cover of But I'm a Cheerleader showing natasha lyonne in a pink dress holding a pom pom against a bright blue sky

But I’m a Cheerleader

Ro

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the cover of Gerald's Game showing a woman hand-cuffed to a bed

Gerald’s Game

Kayla

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The cover of good luck to you, leo grande, with emma thompson and daryl mccormack in front of a bed in some state of undress looking beleaguered

Good Luck To You, Leo Grande

Riese

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the cover of "in the mood for love" has a red background. Maggie Cheung lays prettily in a red dress while Tony Chiu-Wai Leung lies longingly in her lap, his hand on her leg.

In the Mood for Love

Nicole

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the cover of the incredibles II featuring superhero characters all running toward the viewer

The Incredibles 2

Heather

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the cover of les vampires shows a pale femme in an all-body black shiny suit sitting in a decadent orange armchair

Les Vampires

Drew

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the cover of Mississippi Masala shows the two main characters played by Denzel Washington and Sarita Choudhurry in front of a colorful collage of elements from the film

Mississippi Masala

Drew

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the cover of mr. and mrs. smith shows angelina jolie and brad pitt both leaning sexily, jolie in a black dress, pitt in a suit, each of them displaying a gun.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Carmen

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the cover of X shows a gamine-featured human holding an ax, gazing darkly through a crossed x made of red wood boards. this character is played by mia goth.

X

Shelli Nicole

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PR Emails That Lost Their Way

More often than we’d like, people email us about things that demonstrate they might be missing the point.

Artificial skin capable of feeling ‘pain’ could lead to new generation of touch-sensitive robots An electronic skin which can learn from feeling ‘pain’ could help create a new generation of smart robots with human-like sensitivity. A team of engineers from the University of Glasgow developed the artificial skin with a new type of processing system based on ‘synaptic transistors, which mimics the brain’s neural pathways in order to learn. A robot hand which uses the smart skin shows a remarkable ability to learn to react to external stimuli. In a new paper published today in the journal Science Robotics, the researchers describe how they built their prototype computational electronic-skin (e-skin), and how it improves on the current state of the art in touch-sensitive robotics. Scientists have been working for decades to build artificial skin with touch sensitivity. One widely-explored method is spreading an array of contact or pressure sensors across the electronic skin’s surface to allow it detect when it comes into contact with an object. Data from the sensors is then sent to a computer to be processed and interpreted. The sensors typically produce a large volume of data which can take tim
Data from the sensors is then sent to a computer to be processed and interpreted. The sensors typically produce a large volume of data which can take time to be properly processed and responded to, introducing delays which could reduce the skin’s potential effectiveness in real-world tasks. The Glasgow team’s new form of electronic skin draws inspiration from how the human peripheral nervous system interprets signals from skin in order to eliminate latency and power consumption. As soon as human skin receives an input, the peripheral nervous system begins processing it at the point of contact, reducing it to only the vital information before it is sent to the brain. That reduction of sensory data allows efficient use of communication channels needed to send the data to the brain, which then responds almost immediately for the body to react appropriately. To build an electronic skin capable of a computationally efficient, synapse-like response, the researchers printed a grid of 168 synaptic transistors made from zinc-oxide nanowires directly onto the surface of a flexible plastic surface. Then, they connected the synaptic transistor with the skin sensor present over the palm of a fully-articulated, human-shaped robot hand. When the sensor is touched, it registers a change in its electrical resistance - a small change corresponds to a light touch, and harder touch creates a larger change in resistance. This input is designed to mimic the way sensory neurons work in the human body. In earlier generations of electronic skin, that input data would be sent to a computer to be processed. Instead, a circuit built into the skin acts as an artificial synapse, reducing the input down into a simple spike of voltage whose frequency varies according to the
In earlier generations of electronic skin, that input data would be sent to a computer to be processed. Instead, a circuit built into the skin acts as an artificial synapse, reducing the input down into a simple spike of voltage whose frequency varies according to the level of pressure applied to the skin, speeding up the process of reaction. The team used the varying output of that voltage spike to teach the skin appropriate responses to simulated pain, which would trigger the robot hand to react. By setting a threshold of input voltage to cause a reaction, the team could make the robot hand recoil from a sharp jab in the centre of its palm. In other words, it learned to move away from a source of simulated discomfort through a process of onboard information processing that mimics how the human nervous system works. The development of the electronic skin is the latest breakthrough in flexible, stretchable printed surfaces from the University of Glasgow’s Bendable Electronics and Sensing Technologies (BEST) Group, led by Professor Ravinder Dahiya. Professor Dahiya, of the University’s James Watt School of Engineering, said: “We all learn early on in our lives to respond appropriately to unexpected stimuli like pain in order to prevent us from hurting ourselves again. Of course, the development of this new form of electronic skin didn’t really involve inflicting pain as we know it – it’s simply a shorthand way to explain the process of learning from external stimulus. “What we’ve been able to create through this process is an electronic skin capable of distributed learning at the hardware level, which doesn’t need to send messages back and forth to a central processor before taking action. Instead, it greatly accelerates the process of responding to touch by cutting down the amount of computation required. “We believe that this is a real step forward in our work towards creating large-scale neuromorphic printed electronic skin capable of responding appropriately to stimuli.
Yes, we realize the implications of this exciting science for the future of medicine. We also think that this might be inviting horrors we have yet to imagine.
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Nicolodeon

This is just a doodle from Nicole’s notebook :) They hope it brightens your day!

A doodle on lined paper of a bedroom window through which a night sky can be seen, so indicated because of various stars in it. On the other side is a hairy, sharp-toothed, cute and delighted monster who has brought you a gift-wrapped gift!
My sister and I send each other doodle prompts. This one was “monster friend.”
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KKU LookBook

June! What a concept! I’ve been simply swamped between helming our Pride package, going on a one-week writing residency where I exclusively wore cut-off shorts and t-shirts because I was also working on a farm (“i’m butch now” – me wearing cutoff shorts and work boots), but ALAS, there was still time to do some looks here and there. I went to a wedding, had a few date nights with my hunky girlfriend, and went to the pool. Summer is here, baby!

Look 1: This is what I wore to the wedding of my best friend from college. He is a cis straight dude, but he was raised by half a dozen lesbians, and therefore he is my favorite cis straight dude on the planet. This was my first time being in a wedding since my flower girl days! There was thankfully a lot of flexibility for the outfits any of us in the wedding party wore, so I got a very classic bridesmaid-style dress for not too much money from ASOS. However, it’s now currently sold out in most sizes (on sale for $56, but only available in a 4). Other colors in the same style are available in more sizes. I also wore a classic pearl necklace ($70) and pearl bracelet ($29). The wedges (I can’t find the exact ones I wore, but here are some for $70) were my second-choice shoes because it turns out we had to walk on a cobblestone path, so my first choice (these Steve Madden heels, $80) weren’t viable!

Look 2: This was an impromptu pool day! I got the coverup in-store at H&M, and it doesn’t appear to be available online, but this one for $35 is a similar vibe. I’m wearing a sparkly blue bikini top ($20) and plain black bikini thong-cut bottoms. I like to stick to pretty neutral bottoms and get mix packs of them, like this set of two for $18.

Look 3: This was for a last-minute happy hour date with Kristen, and she basically got my whole outfit for me. The off-the-shoulder knit top was from H&M in-store, and the closest match I can find is this ribbed off-the-shoulder top (on sale for $6) which is actually probably better for summer because ngl I was sweating through this! And the “petal pants” ($80) have made yet another appearance. White platform sneakers ($30) are easily becoming my go-to casual shoe.

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Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Sai, a Black woman with short black hair wearing a sweater and floral top and glasses, leans against a brick wall and smiles winningly

Sa’iyda Shabazz, Writer

Social Media:
Twitter: xoxsai
Instagram: xoxsai
TikTok (but I don’t post any videos): xoxsai

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?

I love a good roast beef and cheddar with deli mustard on a Kaiser roll. Maybe a nice sour pickle on the side. I also love Genoa salami; my go-to sandwich order at Subway is the Spicy Italian with provolone, pickles and black olives.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?

Writing for Autostraddle! It’s been a goal for me for years, so to be able to say that I’ve done it feels really awesome.

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?

The cringey emoji. It’s a good reaction to a lot of things.

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?

Ina Garten, Michelle Obama, Taylor Swift, and Patti LaBelle. I love to be in the company of women who have stories to tell…and who love to eat! I feel like we’d sit in Ina’s barn, shooting the shit and going back for seconds (and thirds!) while they just regale me with stories. Because you know Ms. Patti has stories.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?

Kate Moenning on the very obscure show “Young Americans” on the WB. Her character Jake was a girl who was pretending to be a boy, and oof, I felt things. (She’s still one of my biggest celebrity crushes)

What’s your #1 turn-off?

white feminism. It’s really annoying. That and people who are loud, sloppy chewers. Makes me gaggy.

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Failure Is An Art Form

We are here to normalize trying, failing, trying, and failing again!

“I’ve had two different personal essays that have been bouncing around my head and varying intervals, but I haven’t found the courage to write. I don’t know if this is a ‘failure’ or if it’s self-preservation? Or keeping somethings that are personal, well, personal. But it’s definitely one of those, and I don’t love that I haven’t taken the leap. It’s murky.” — Carmen

“Oh ho ho, usually I feel like the failures I put in here are not related to Autostraddle, but this time I absolutely have a failure relevant to this job! I told two different people they could review the same album and did not realize the error until it was far too late and then spiraled about it for a good few days. But now I’m writing about here because idk normalize work failures or whatever!” — KKU

“Well now I have to tell you all I only worked on my novel one time this month even though I thought I would be able to do so much more. But, between work, essays, gardening and house projects and camping and just not being able to bring myself to do it, I didn’t! This really stresses me out because I definitely don’t get writing time during fundraisers, which makes me feel like I am obligated to extend huge amounts of time on it when we are not in an active fundraiser.” — Nicole

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My Heart Needs a Sandwich

A pie chart showing the spread of answers to our "What Gay Bruce Springsteen Song Are You?" The winner is Hungry Heart at 45.3% followed by Darkness on the edge of town at 20.5%, Backstreets at 15.5%, Candy's Room at 7.6%, I'm goin down at 3.5% and I'm on Fire at 3.2%. There is a GIF of a beating anatomical heart for Hungry Heart.
From the quiz “What Gay Bruce Springsteen Song Are You?”
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Haunted / Not Haunted

A couple of months ago, for reasons I can’t remember — but probably it involved some kind of dolls — we spent an entire day in Slack talking about haunted items we’d known or heard of in our lives. Orbs, sex toys, paintings, DOLLS. I was struck, as I often am, by Nicole’s depth and breadth of knowledge on the topic. They seemed to know where to purchase haunted items, where to store haunted items, how much IS too much when it comes to haunted items, etc. A haunting expertise that wasn’t surprising, but was exhilarating. I wondered why they’d never regaled us with tales and knowledge before that moment, and that’s when I realized — they simply did not have a good place to showcase their mastery. And so, I (Heather) said toNicole, “What if I throw a bunch of spooky stuff at you, just things I stumble across on the internet, and you judge their hauntedness IN THE AUTOSTRADDLEA+INSIDER.” Well, and they were happy to oblige, and so here we are. This month, I have selected three mysterious and eerie things for Nicole to weigh in on.

#1 This Photo of Cats and Deers Dancing in the Moonlight

a photograph of a wooded clearing showing two cats standing upright as well as two deer standing upright, all on hind legs. It is night. A bright camera light illuminates their eyes. They look like they are dancing.

Heather: Someone on Reddit said that this photo was snapped by one of those motion detector night cameras in someone’s actual yard.

Nicole: To have the Old Gods reveal themselves to you can be a blessing or a curse depending on what you do with your fortune, but it is technically not a haunting.

#2 This Rat Driving a Peanut Car

Heather: Bethany Cosentino received this rat as a suggestion from Amazon. One time I ordered a bunch of garbage bags from Amazon and received a Calico Critters Camper Van instead. I think this might be some kind of agenda.

Nicole: We as humans can be haunted by our mistakes, such as creating this possum-powered peanut, and by our cruelties — such as the treatment of workers by Amazon and the destruction Jeff Bezos is raining down upon our planet. That said, no, I think this toy is not so much haunted as it is hollow, whispering only, if you listen close enough, “capitalism breeds innovation.”

#3 This Free Sketch

Heather: Okay it’s not just the sketch itself (although it’s not NOT that) but the fact that it was already inside a sketchbook someone purchased.

Nicole: I have a lot of questions. Did this horse appear in a dream, in a vision? Did it draw itself? What compelled whoever donated this notebook to the thrift store to do so? This feels like it could be an attempt by whatever spirit inhabits this horse drawing to make itself known to someone besides the prior owner. Whatever it is, whatever it wants, it chose buggleboos. This very much seems like a haunting. I do not think this spirit is actually a horse, but has assumed the form of a horse so as to disarm us. (There is a long tradition of such actions in various folklore traditions around the world.) To buggleboos, good luck.

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Where Have All the Photos Gone? (To The Tune of “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”)

A child peers under a bed with a flashlight to find a huge variety of photos collaged. there are a mixture of old timey black and white photos, family photos, photos of queer groups of friends, and more.

Vanessa: zucchini was on vacation for a week but he’s back in the office today and hard at work!!!

Vanessa, a white woman with long brown hair and glasses, sits on a comfy gray couch, a kind of worktable above her, and her tiny dog Zucchinni in her lap. she is wearing either a black romber or a black two piece shirt and shorts situation.

Heather: OH MY GOD
Stef Rubino: omg Zucchini is the real Dog with a Blog!!!
Laneia: honestly say more about this sofa
Vanessa: laneia so funny you ask
turns out pb bought this sofa IN ADVANCE OF OUR FIRST DATE
but didn’t tell me until months later
she had another sofa before that she was embarrassed of (!) and even though we didn’t rly clarify if it was a friend hang or a hookup or a date the first time we hung out she won a bunch of money playing poker (!!!) and bought this couch!!!!!!!!
A.Tony: i love the origin stories of so many things in your guys’ lives
Vanessa: hahahah thank u A.Tony
Darcy: what a supremely cozy work situation
i am immediately questioning my choices of working in an office chair at a desk piled high with diet pepsi and bubbly water cans
Laneia: omg
before the first time that amanda would be coming to my house i…. bought a new toilet seat bc the one i had was a cheap one that had come with the house and it slipped around when you sat on it?? and i was like ok this has been good enough for me but not for a GUEST
Vanessa: laneia i’m obsessed w u
maybe this is a roundtable
“what did you do to your home before an important Guest arrived for the first time”
Darcy: i have never bought anything but I always go to great lengths to make it look like I’ve never watched television in the bedroom in my LIFE
Laneia: darcy! what do you do?? just move the tv out? or like “ugh i had to put this tv in here yesterday and haven’t moved it back out yet I SIMPLY HATE IT THOUGH”
Darcy: hahaha no i do not LIE i fully move the tv out of the room
which, one might argue, is also a lie
Vanessa: HAHAHAHAHA WHAT
Laneia: darcy this is amazing
Vanessa: i used to be friends w this older dyke couple who had an embroidered shade they put over their tv
and you could tell they like
truly barely used it
A.Tony: i was so unprepared for that answer thank you darcy
Vanessa: i am cracking up
This is iconic.
Darcy: it is a very light tv, in my defense
A.Tony: can i ask like …. why do you want people not to know you watch tv in your bedroom
Darcy: ok so this originated when i first came out and like…idk! i was like “ah, lesbians, they are so much better than me at everything, they have sleep hygeine”
Vanessa: i rly rly want an A+ roundtable of like
Casual White Lies We’ve Used Our Homes To Tell While Dating
cc nicole
Laneia: !!
Darcy: omg
Stef Rubino: i don’t do anything too drastic… i just replace like every single towel i own and my sheets and pillows
Darcy: hahaha STEF
just to put an endcap on this particular insecurity for myself, is like…is everyone else also watching tv in their bedrooms
Stef Rubino: just want shit to be fresh!!!
Laneia: i am 100% watching tv in my room
i was a teen in the 90s and you can take my bedroom tv from my cold dead hands
Darcy: omg I SO wanted a tv in my room in the 90s
my cousin got one and I was jealous AF
Stef Rubino: for hook ups, i like tried to limit any info that would tell them more than i wanted them to know about me so i would like put my photos with friends and shit away lol
Laneia: oh i love that
Darcy: YOU PUT YOUR FAMILY PHOTOS AWAY!
Vanessa: omg STEF
Laneia: it’s like the conspiracy theory version of putting your dirty dishes in the oven before someone arrives instead of washing them
Stef Rubino: i can’t be TOO known, y’all
Darcy: hahaha ngl stef if i was about to hook up and the person had zero photos that weren’t, like, a generic sunset, i would be like “um”
Kayla Kumari: Stef I’m screaming
Also Darcy lmaoooooo I am seriously laughing so hard @ you moving the tv
Stef Rubino: i mean, i have ART in my home but yeah, any photos…. those were hidden
A.Tony: wait…..in the oven??
Darcy: haha i would be like “are you…are you jason bourne?”
Vanessa: I AM LOSING IT
Laneia: i have zero family photos on display in my home
A.Tony: i dont think i needed to know this oh dear
Vanessa: my ex didn’t have any personal photos, just framed photos of wolves
as we continued to date it became clear that was because she’s a chronic cheater
and thus never wanted a girl to like
see her in photos with other girls
but at the time i thought she was just rly into wolves.
Darcy: does she know that wolves are loyal?
Laneia: wait thinking of stef running to the oven with an armload of framed photos will by my happy place for a while
Stef Rubino: no i put them in the desk in my spare room
but dammmn ok yeah, that was not my motivation lol but people who i was hooking up with, i absolutely didn’t trust them enough to KNOW about me
A.Tony: like why the oven and not the dishwasher
Vanessa: i am laughing out loud and pb is asking me why
Stef Rubino: and you know what?? if i go back to hooking up at some point, I’D DO IT AGAIN
Laneia: oh! a.tony this practice is for people who don’t have dishwashers
A.Tony: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Laneia: deployed in the most dire of circumstances tbh, like extreme last-minute guests
A.Tony: dont mind me i am also very adamant about using paper plates so
Stef Rubino: lol luckily i have a spare room that’s like an office so i can hide a lot of shit in there
Darcy: i have the adhd thing where it’s good to be reminded that i have family and friends so taking down those photos would take a solid hour
Laneia: and you only forget that you put them in their one time bc after that you’ll never preheat your oven without checking to see if your plastic cutting board is in there
Vanessa: LANEIA
PLEASE TELL ME
THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO YOU
Stef Rubino: mine are mostly on my fridge so it takes like a second. i can do it while they’re on the way over.
Darcy: i love that we have just fully embraced the complete myth that stef puts photos in the oven
Vanessa: misread that stef PUTS the photos IN the fridge
and now i’m imagining some babe opening the fridge for a beer and like
Stef Rubino: LMAOO
A.Tony: oh so they can chill i get it
Vanessa: finding every photo of stef’s loved one
next to the cucumbers
Laneia: i wish i had a graphic novel of just stef putting family photos in various places
in a ziploc bag in the back of the toilet
Darcy: i love that each of us took that moment in love actually where laura linney throws a coat over her one messy bedroom chair to hide it from Carl and we just fully ran with it in EVERY direction
Laneia: under the sofa but they’re actually upright and arranged
Stef Rubino: listen, if we’re just fucking, you don’t need to know who i consort with!!!
Heather: i like laneia’s idea of them being upright and displayed under the couch because then if your hookup sees them, they’ll be too afraid of getting cursed to ask about it AND you’re giving them two great stories to take away from your time together
Stef Rubino: the best part is that one time when i was off a bad break up and hooking up a lot, i told one of my close friends that i do this and she asked me if it’s because i’m ashamed to be friends with myfriends?? i was like “how are you making this about you, girl?? i just don’t want strangers to have that info about me!!”
A.Tony: like what if they see your friend and theyre like hey, a.tony stopped talking to me do you mind giving them a message for me
like i dont want my friends having that kind of pressure
Vanessa: i have literally never thought about this in my life before
and i am obsessed
Stef Rubino: dude, EXACTLY. like i live in South Florida. everyone knows fucking everyone.


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This is a collage Viv made of the Autostraddle senior team. Front and center, Riese sits at a laptop that has a sticker on it that says Important Queer Work. On the left, Kayla leans in. Nicole leans in on the right .Behind Riese are Carmen and Viv with Laneia and Anya behind them and Heather at the top and most-rear position. Heather is a soft butch white woman with short graying hair and glasses. Laneia is a white woman with short blonde hair wearing a tank top and earrings. Carmen is a Black woman with a hair wrap and glasses on as well as a necklace. Anya is a white woman with long brown hair and glasses. Viv is an Asian human with short, buzzed green hair and green eye shadow who is wearing a hoodie. Kayla is a South Asian woman wearing glasses and a white sweater and necklaces with long wavy brown hair. Riese is a white woman with mid-length blonde hair and a little bit of eyeliner under her eyes. Nicole is a genderqueer human with bleached hair and shaved sides, a tattoo sleeve and large glasses. They are wearing a black tee shirt.

XOXO

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19 Comments

  1. Utility Gauchos! Yet one more thing I didn’t know that I needed until I read about it on AS.

    And I love Heather and Nicole’s haunted / not-haunted bit. Hope that becomes a regular feature.

  2. Here for it all, but especially for the failure to replace the prompt text at the top of the normalizing failure section. 💯💯💯

    • lol oh no that was me. remembered to do the letter from the editor, forgot to delete the placeholder text!

  3. omg so do y’all think that replacing my toilet seat and couch (both of which have seen better days) will help me get a date? like maybe I’m subconsciously blocking myself from dating opportunities because I KNOW that neither of these items is up to Important Guest standards?

    • Are you thinking about them whenever you consider the possibility of bringing someone back to your place? Do you just picture the toilet seat? If so, the answer may be a yes.

  4. ok i am so here for Important Guest roundtable? i have the adhd thing where i don’t really see clutter and then i invite someone over and realize i live in a barn and go on an intense cleaning spree

    my sandwich gender is a grilled cheese (minimum three types of cheese, one must be gouda) with thinly sliced pear in the middle

  5. YALLL THE IMAGE DESCRIPTIONNNNSSSSSSSS <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    i love them so muchhhhhh!!!

    • OMG, I am also digging the alt text!! Y’all do a fantastic job with that!! I can see the images on my large computer screen, but have trouble seeing them on my phone (when I’m dallying at work :) ) So it’s also nice to hear them described!
      So much cute stuff as always!! I especially enjoy the books y’all are reading! The American Girl doll outfits were priceless & the haunted / not haunted was a nice new addition.

  7. I feel the need to tell you that I know all about the Gloucester cheese rolling festival because of that time on Gilmore Girls where Logan and his asshole rich friends go to it and Colin brings home a milkmaid.

  8. I was already having a good time up and then I got to the hiding things before dates come over. 😁😁

  9. Ro: I can’t wear hats because they make me look like I’m on a Lil Sluggers t-ball team.

    Feeling very seen and affirmed. Pretty sure I once wrote in about this and AS writers were very encouraging about how I could wear hats and it’d be fine, which was nice. But this is too true.

  10. I can assert that you only forget to check the oven ONE TIME and then, well, I still put stuff in there sometimes, but I also hang a dish towel on the oven door as a WARNING. I may have undiagnosed ADHD, but I also have *~systems~* in place.

  11. What in blazes is up with those cats and deers dancing in the moonlight ?!? Those cats have such amazing moves I can’t stop staring. And all the other bright eyes in the woods, it’s like Dancing Queen, only with animals, in the woods.

    I always get a supreme shot of joy reading the Insider but This One ! Surreal levels of mirth.

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