Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Kayla: idk why the pr blast i just got asking me if i want to interview christy carlson romano about her new podcast is so funny but it IS
Nicole: is she gay?
Kayla: no but my ex had a false memory about her publicly coming out as bi
Nicole: lol no but

Kayla: which was a whole fight we had lmao i had to like get on reddit for research it was a whole thing hahahahaha
i was like if she was queer I OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD KNOW
Nicole: hahaha I love it when the search turns to reddit
that’s when you know you are looking for The Truth
Kayla: she was like NO she CAME OUT and it was a BIG DEAL like it was TELEVISED
televised ON WHAT lmaoooo

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Kayla: ok no idea what made me think of this haha but i just randomly remembered a story from this past christmas that i don’t think i ever told y’all which is that my straight cis teen cousin told me that he was with his friends (who are mostly queer even tho he isn’t) and they were arguing over what the gayest sign was one night and then they googled it and of course our roundtable is the first thing that comes up and he was like YOOO THAT’S MY COUSIN (i’m the very first answer in that roundtable!) and his friends thought it was VERY COOL
Nicole: awwwwwww Kayla!! that is so sweet
Carmen: KAYLA
That is so cute!!!!!
you are indeed, very cool
Kayla: just a WHOLESOME STORY for your evening

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Kayla (while watching 13 Going On 30): it is almost time to order dominos
why is jennifer garner so CUTE in this movie omg
Nicole: i love this for you
Kayla: also yes i have somehow been watching this 98 minute movie all day
Nicole: yeah like 4 hours
Kayla: hahahaahaha
The 30 Gayest Things About the Supposedly Straight Rom-Com “13 Going On 30” WILL be a kku classic
Riese: “30 going on 13” is probably a great way to describe a lot of lesbians

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Yash: disaster strikes: a girl i knew from elementary through high school is now a hey mamas lesbian

---

Nicole: sorry I meant *Straights declare
Carmen: lol yes i knew!
Nicole: lol Dr. P slow down
Carmen: I thought Dr. P was me for a minute and I was so confused
but then I remembered Dr. Pepper is the unofficial sponsor of fundraiser season
Nicole: OH MY GOD
You are in fact, Dr. P
as is Dr. Pepper
Well!
Carmen: I cannot believe I don’t own a dr. pepper tee, in retrospect
Nicole: you have time 😀

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Kayla: i have a tragic tale which is that i recently accidentally learned that my ex now works at my FAVORITE wine bar in brooklyn
i follow the wine bar on instagram
which is how i learned this bc boom there she was in a staff pic
i absolutely had been planning on going there for my big birthday weekend
also i introduced her to that wine bar!!!!!!! rip
ALSO she was wearing what used to be my shirt in the photo
ok that’s my tragic tale
Nicole: the shirt is really the frosting on the cake to this story
Laneia: WEARING YOUR SHIRT

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Nicole: you know what’s disappointing
i cannot find a good Disobedience GIF, of the spit scene
and I REALLY want to tweet “We’re so close to halfway there we can taste it”
Carmen: omg
Nicole: how does one procure
currently googling disobedience + spit
Carmen: DON’T
I did
I regret
it

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Ro: I just need you all to know that next month I’ll be writing something onCake and Cunnilingus Day, which I just learned about and which happens to fall ON MY BIRTHDAY, April 14th.
Vanessa: oh my god MAZEL TOV ro and GODDESS BLESS to us all!!!
i’ll be visiting my mom with my gf on april 14, are my gf & i obligated to eat cake and perform cunninlingus in my childhood bedroom
Ro: I’m gonna go with yes. Good luck to you both.
Carmen: OMG
RO
OMG
WAIT
VANESSA
OK
Just reading along!!!
Vanessa: i love working here 🍰
Ro: Carmen, you are a perfect human!
Vanessa: EVERYONE HERE IS PERFECT
Anya: why is this the ost unhinged context ever

Anya: “competition breeds innovation”
Carmen: this is really, so much information

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Carmen: i know eve is going to kiss a woman, your wife was spoiling all over twitter
Kayla: hahahahhHAHHHhahhaha
Heather: oh my god i told her to stop!
Kayla: i did indeed break down and watch
without kristen
Carmen: hahahaa oh no
Heather: no shame
Kayla: i was like it’s fine i’ll watch it 12 more times
Nicole: is no one else watching killing eve via AMC? didn’t that ep air already
??? or does Eve kiss even more women, like 12 of them
the 12 are all women
and eve must kiss each to free villanelle
Heather: i can’t keep up with what has aired and what has not and what stacy has pieced together from her obsession and what is fan fiction she has read, to be honest.
Kayla: omgnicolethe 12 all being women that eve has to kiss jaskdjsakld
AMC+ online is one ep ahead yeah but if people are watching on TV in the states, that ep hasn’t aired yet
and I guess other countries are one ep ahead????
Heather: she literally told me yesterday that i have a praise kink! and i was like “what even is that?” and she went on and on about this fan fiction she read where vilanelle likes to be called “good girl” and i was like “i just want you to compliment my pies! that’s all i’ve asked for!”
Kayla: hahahahahhaha heather dyinnggggg @ praise kink
i think i actually wrote villanelle having a praise kink into my recap of the premiere
Carmen (after returning to the channel): wait omg stacy teaching heather about praise kinks?
that’s what I’ve walked into?
i love fan fiction and all the joy it brings

What We’ve Been Reading

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!!!!

Valerie: NATALIE
Natalie: I KNOW.
Valerie: you were right this year’s March Madness is so mean😭 it’s gonna be so much fun
Natalie: Carmen already accused me of a hate crime.
Valerie: HAHAHA
Carmen: I’m stuck on Tess vs Gigi (with her relationship with Bette) in round one
it’s too hard!
Valerie: Ryan vs Alex and Sophie vs Kelly feel especially mean
Ava vs Pam wasn’t particularly kind either tbh.
preying on my love of a long-standing character vs my feral attraction to both Bridget Regan and Poison Ivy
Carmen: I have somehow created a world where.. Gigi faces off against Gigi?

Valerie: hahahaha honestly that’s impressive
maybe the only person good enough for gigi is gigi
Carmen: Honestly? you are not wrong.
Valerie: i don’t think i can choose between alex and ryan. i might have to fill out one bracket where i pick alex and sophie and one where i pick ryan and kelly
Carmen: Well this how I ended up in the finals, and I’m sticking by it

Valerie: that’s art
Carmen: I believe in power of the l word fandom *
Valerie: and see now i’ve backed myself into an Alex vs Waverly corner
i hate sports!
lol
I HATE IT HERE

* Carmen is currently ranked 139 in Autostraddle’s March Madness predictions bracket, out of 197. Her bracket blew up in the first round when The L Word fandom in fact did not agree with any of her choices.

What We’ve Been Watching

This is the same thing, but using movies instead – little blurb about what we’ve been watching / why RedBox

PR Emails That Lost Their Way

More often than we’d like, people email us about things that demonstrate they might be missing the point.

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Analyssa, Writer

Social Media:

Twitter

Instagram

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Once, a girl who I’d matched with on Tinder and never met up with texted me months later, asked me on a date, and THEN asked me to remind her of my name. She guessed “Annalyse” which was honestly pretty close. Anyway, most boring hour of my life.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?

My Letterboxd projects! I’m currently watching one rom-com a week that I’ve never seen before, and last year I watched over 100 movies made by Iconic Directors™.

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?

The little guy wearing the mustache & glasses disguise – it really is a lot more applicable than you think!

What would be your superpower and why?

If I could choose any superpower it would be invisibility because it’s useful in many scenarios that other superpowers would come in handy. You could also use it to sneak onto airplanes or trains (instead of teleportation) and you can hear what people say about you after you leave the room (kind of like mind-reading).

My irl superpower is that I’m great at spatial organization: loading the dishwasher, packing the trunk of a car, knowing how big of a Tupperware to use to perfectly store leftovers.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?

Does my dance teacher count? She was basically a celebrity to me at age 10. If not, then Jessie from Toy Story 2.

What’s your #1 turn-on?

It’s cliche but truly anyone who can banter will charm me immediately. Also, a good smirk and nice forearms.

Failure Is An Art Form

We are here to normalize trying, failing, trying, and failing again!

“I missed a pretty major deadline!!!!!! Not for Autostraddle but for my creative/fiction work that I do outside of here. I like did the ‘right thing’ and emailed the editor about it and everything, but I keep almost crying about it???? Even though at this point, the manuscript has been turned in, everything is fine, no harm was caused, but IT IS SITTING INSIDE ME like a weird poisonous blob. I understand that my ‘guilt’ about this does nothing to help anyone, but alas. I will continue to suffer. 🙃” — Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

“I set a goal, publicly, or with the senior team which is close enough, that I would find time to ‘move my body’ each day during the member drive and reader, I did not. I got a few days in and then failed spectacularly. In good news, I’ve gotten to start going on my little jogs again over the past week!” — Nicole

“I had so much laundry stacked up this month that it was, at one point, as tall as I am. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.” — Carmen

Congratulations You’re a Finalist!

We’re happy — but never surprised — that so many of us were “final girls.” From Kayla’s “What Horror Movie Stock Character Are You?” quiz.

This Shirt

A new segment in tribute to the ultimate cult classic Autostraddle column, Laneia’s These Shirts.

by Nicole

This shirt is unusual because it’s bright and pink and very, very acrylic and usually the things I wear are none of those things. Usually I wear black, but not this shirt, it’s bright and full of hope.

I picked it up in a thrift store in Amarillo, TX on a road trip, going out west, on my way to live in California. My ex and I were at a hotel bar when the bartender clocked us as queer and gave me a business card for The 212 Club where he was going to be running sound for a drag show that night. Naturally, we went.

Situated on a flat, Amarillo street, this bar was like so many other gay bars you might know. It had a stage for, mostly, drag performances,with disco balls and a pretty impressive lighting setup and a bar crowded with liquor — with a sweet touch. The bartender made his own ginger beer. Our host showed us around and introduced us to everyone after the show, and that was when I got — just for the moment I was allowed to as an outsider — what queer Texas hospitality means. When folks heard we were passing through, the next thing out of their mouths was immediately, without hesitation, “I’m having a barbecue on Sunday. Will you be around?” and starting to pull a phone or a piece of paper to scribble an address out of glittering drag queen dresses or jean pockets. By the time we went outside so our host could point out the lesbian bar just down the street, I’d been invited to too many cookouts and drag shows and brunches and peoples’ homes than I could possibly go to in a month, let alone a weekend. And that lesbian bar? Outside, our host pointed out that on weekend nights like this, people just went back and forth between the lesbian bar and the gay bar up the street. A group of queer women, sparkling with laugher and with at least one of them holding a glass from the other bar, jaywalked across the street to the 212 Club right then and went inside.

It was a beautiful, warm summer night in Texas and between the sweet ginger beer and the big, big-haired Texas drag and the overwhelming friendliness that I didn’t even know how to hold, I wished that we weren’t leaving the next day. I would come back, I said to myself. I still haven’t been back, but unlike too many queer spaces, the 212 Club is in fact still there, still hosting shows, still having BINGO. I also still have that really nice bartender’s number. And, at least, until the next time I pass through Amarillo, I have this shirt. It’s a pink that is a little out of style, the hem is unthreading a little, but it’s still good. It’s all summer and possibility and the warmth of queer strangers, and these things never get old.

The Wall

Nicole: every time they get us to go up by 5members
they get a smooch
these are the new rules I am implementing lol
Carmen: that’s genius
There are 14 wildmoore kisses in just the last 4 episodses
if you need inspo lol

Valerie: lol carmen i was JUST saving that one to share next hahaha
Carmen: I…maybe have a stockpile whoops
Nicole: niiiiice
Carmen: gigi / bette

Carmen: Bette and Pippa

Valerie: carmen do you have a thundergrace fave
if not i can pull one
Carmen: oooh i do lets see if i can find it
Valerie: is it the wall one?
lol
i like that one. i can’t find a good one of it yet though
Carmen: IT IS THE WALL ONE

Nicole: I am stocked up you all! I love this!
Valerie: nicole is like “please stop”
Nicole: lol if you do the math, we have exactly enough smooching GIFs to get to our drive goal
Carmen: This is a better lit gif of the same couple from the wall makeout (thunder grace)

Nicole: thank you!!!
the wall one is too good though!
Valerie: i was gonna say...but the WALL lolol
Nicole: Team THE WALL
I don’t even know what’s going on but I sure do love walls now wow.

XOXO

Team Autostraddle