Letter From Your Editors

Hey there (almost) summer sun rays! Welcome to your Insider! We are proud of some things, and so we sure did take pictures with the things that we are proud of!

1st: Meg + divorce // Drew + TikTok // Shelli + tattoo sleeve // Stef + new apartment // Vanessa + exciting secret news
2nd: Nicole + pottery // Heather + walking // Casey + a whole human // Ro vs Chicago’s Mayor // Laneia + living room livability

It’s Memorial Day weekend — a fact of which I conveniently forgot and so, even though we technically do get Memorial Day off as editors (this was not always true! But we are working very hard at finding a more sustainable work/life balance, growing up, ya know what I mean) I conveniently forgot it was a holiday, and so here I am. Working. I will say that I made a fancy yogurt parfait out of some Chobani from the back of the fridge, Cheerios, cut up strawberries, and a dream. So it’s not all bad!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend it outdoors at a potluck situation with some of my cousins. I’m miraculously lucky because of the cousins that I am closest to, we’re all gay! One is 11 years older than me, (then me! Hi!), and the youngest is five years younger than me. I say I’m lucky because I know that not everyone gets the chance to not be “the only queer cousin” at family gatherings, whereas in this particularly (albeit, small) corner of my family tree — we outnumber the straights by at least 2-to-1! But also, I’m lucky because we span such a large age range. It’s one thing to live out the “should kink be allowed at Pride?” discourse that hasn’t seemed to escape online lately — but rare and special to be sitting at a sunlit kitchen table eating off a cheeseboard and comparing Prides of ’99, ’09, and ’19 from the perspective of three different queer humans who lived it being our best messy ass selves. I drank a beer and the sun kissed my face. I played cards and my seven-year-old God son hid beneath my legs playing tag with his lil friends. To quote early ‘90s hip hop (because I shan’t be quoting Ice Cube directly!), “it was a good day.”

But y’all aren’t here to learn about my family! You’re here to see your A+ dollars at work! And at work, they are. This month we officially launched our new Sex and Dating newsletter, “More, Please!” written by Ro and I know you might be thinking “do I want another newsletter?” But… YOU DO! It’s going to have Ro’s musings about sex and also links to current and past Autostraddle links you might have missed. Plus also a rundown of What’s Hot. Don’t you want to know what’s hot? That’s what I thought.

We also brought Ro on officially as our new SLICK editor which means that whenever you read your twice-a-month erotica from here on out, you’ll know who to thank for their hard work. May also brought us an exceptional AAPI Heritage Month, guest edited by our very own Himani (more on that soon). Himani’s work here doubles as the official launch of our guest-editorship series, running through the fall, in which different Autostraddle writers gain editorial experience on a short-form series of their choice. We want to support queer creators as they gain new skills, and we are starting at home. Do you know who supports that? Oh that’s right, you do! You should have a cookie! Is there a cookie nearby — perhaps in your kitchen? You should close this letter, get up, and eat that shit.

Let’s see what else your gay dollars did this month? We hosted another Queer Sex 101 workshop — this time it was How to Have Gay Sex for the First Time (transcript and final video can be found here), and I have to say thank you to Rachel (the editor of this live event series), I believe this one was our best yet and you absolutely shouldn’t miss it — even if you’ve had gay sex plenty of times at this point in your life (or maybe you haven’t? You do you). We also had two A+ Advice boxes, a regular edition and the launch of our very first themed advice box all about dating this summer, which is going to be a loopy twisty-turny one, I humbly predict. Himani wrote about editing AAPI Heritage Month. And we had two new SLICKS — Syd Sysco Volume LXIX: At the Feet of the Goo Empress of 61 Cygni and Atelai.

Next month we are going to be hosting our very first medium-scale membership drive, so be on the lookout and please if you’re enjoying being an A+ member there’s never been a better time to shake the lesbian (bisexual/queer) phone tree about it and tell your friends! If everything goes according to plan, when we next see each other we will be a little sunburnt on our shoulders, there will be quite a few more of you around these parts, and I will be an entire year older!

What are your feelings on grilled vegetables? Maybe you should have some. Damn do we love you.

Carmen / Rachel / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From April 2021

These posts were hella popular last month

1. Autostraddle March Madness: Final Four, by Natalie
2. Quiz: Which Gay Cartoon Character Are You?, by Heather
3. Autostraddle March Madness: Canon vs. Fanon Final, by Natalie
4. Remake Every Tom Cruise Movie With Tig Notaro, You Cowards, by Heather
5. Zoe Kravitz and Taylour Page Are ‘A Thing” we Stay Winning! by Carmen
6. Autostraddle March Madness: Canon vs Fanon – Sweet 16, by Natalie
7. Autostraddle March madness: Canon vs Fanon – Elite 8, by Natalie
8. Which Lesbian Pulp Book Cover Are You? by Kayla
9. What’s Gay and New and Streaming on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO and Peacock in April 2021? by Riese
10. 38 Literary Books With Great Lesbian Sex Inside Them, by Riese

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Heather:

attn @autostraddle https://t.co/gCp2Wc02Ph

— 🫖☕️ (@TiaRachel) May 17, 2021

Valerie: “One of the most amazing images of a dyke you are ever likely to see.” bold claims for an article without a single photo of kristen stewart in a suit

Rachel: just got a legit PR email offering interviews with kari from AYTO
bc she’s “in the running for Miss Delaware USA as Miss Rehoboth Beach USA”
Stef: she has been really bumming me out for a while
i can’t find episode 5 so i guess i’m done with tila for now
ep 4 ends with the cowboy being so mad he got eliminated because they were so obviously meant to be that he stands outside the house breaking shit and knocking over plants and beats up one of the non-eliminated contestants and he has to go to to the hospital
i like to think that’s how the show ends
also isn’t kari from nj, is that illegal
Rachel: maybe it’s a miss congeniality situation
Stef: likely.
my favorite ayto viewing party moment was when we came in and kari was like gregariously thanking everyone for coming and was like I’M GONNA HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU and courtney and i were both accidentally like “uh, no that’s ok” out loud

Natalie:

Heather: oh man here we go
Carmen: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did I tell yall that I rewatched all of gossip girl this year, just because of how excited I am for the queer remake?
ohhhhhh man that looks so good
tavi gevinson is pushing the upper limits of what I believe is believable as a high schooler
but still… xoxo
Drew: Someone is going to have to tell me if I can watch gay gossip girl without having seen gossip girl
Carmen: 😬
Drew: I have seen the Rolling Stone cover where they’re licking the ice cream cone is that enough
Carmen: Bad teen soaps are randomly the ONE thing I’m completionist about
so… it shant be me
Drew: Hahahaha
Carmen: I think you could probably get away with only watching the good years though!
Like seasons 1-2
Drew: Noted
Natalie: Telling Drew to only watch 2 seasons. LOL.
Valerie: i think i watched the first two seasons, then tuned in when they were supposedly going to NYU (got excited that they used the real exterior for hayden! laughed when the interior was basically a palace) but didn’t last long
i’m pretty sure that was gossip girl
Carmen: In case anyone was wondering on my gossip girl reverse bell curve of bad it goes:

• Good Years = 1-2
• The NYU Year, which is only good if you are already having a good time and also went to NYU = Season 3
• I… Cannot Believe I am Still Watching This = The first half of Season 4
• Absolutely UNWATCHABLE = Backhalf of Season 4, All of Season 5
• Ok it’s still unwatchable and a torturous parody of itself but Damnit I want to Know who Gossip Girl is, so now I’m stuck here and I hate it this is hell someone let me out = Season 6

Vulture was right, it truly was the greatest show of our time. XOXO.

Dani: Just got an email about a new Rebecca Black single, I’m about to listen now will report back
We might have a banger on our hands
Abeni: I did too lol, can’t wait to listen
Dani: I’m thinking about adding it to my kissing playlist when it drops
Shelli: I love a 2021 kissing soundtrack
Laneia: officially asking for a published playlist of kissing soundtrack 2021 pls
Abeni: ooh yeah. definitely seems like a good kissing song
she is definitely not my type but damn. she looks really hot in this video lol
Dani: YES
I was like, is Rebecca Black…hot?
Valerie: i highly recommend her tiktok
Laneia: @channel whomst is completing a sunday quiz and filing it by EOD tomorrow?
Laneia: someone’s gonna be a hero and it could be you! i’m just saying
do NOT let this stop you from lusting over kissing and rebecca black and kissing rebecca black, speak around me i’m like tracy flick ok
Sarah: which seat will you take? a rebecca black quiz

Heather: Brody Jenner says ex-wife’s ‘lesbian thing’ with Miley Cyrus was ‘gnarly’
lol ok
Speaking to his ex in the clip, he said, “The whole lesbian thing was gnarly because in our entire relationship, you never expressed that you had any interest in females whatsoever… We had some fun, but you said to me you weren’t into girls.”
Stef: i mean it was gnarly but more in a ninja turtles cowabunga kind of way
i would do anything to have my marriage ruined by miley cyrus
Rachel: Which Messy Queer Celeb Should You Have Ruin Your Marriage?

Heather: y’all this I Still Can’t Believe series is turning out to be EVEN BETTER than i imagined! drew and kayla, thank you! does anyone want to sign up for next week?
Natalie: I know there are more important things in Drew’s piece but “They loved it so much that starting in season nine — when I was only eight years old — I was allowed to watch it with them.”
Drew, you’re so young!
(and conversely, I am so old)
Carmen: I just googled when season 9 of friends aired…. and I remain firm in my belief that there’s no way drew can remember Blockbuster video
Or like, when Netflix send DVDs in the mail.
(Update: I did some math mathing, and potentially Drew remembers DVD Netflix! I stand corrected. But definitely not Blockbuster, I shall not be moved)
This piece is EXCELLENT by the way!
Drew: Hahaha okay BUT did we all appreciate my reference to portable DVD players and Tower Records
Heather: lol yes! i sure did!
Drew: I am a young millennial which means I did go to Tower Records but the first CD I bought was Songs About Jane by Maroon 5
Heather: lolollll this is so amazing
Drew: I actually think the first two CDs I bought were Songs About Jane and Speakerboxxx/The Love Below which goes to show I didn’t really have my own taste as much as I wanted to buy the full CDs of whatever songs were playing on KIIS FM
Heather: the first cd i bought was tracy chapman’s 1989 self-titled album. i was like eight years old singing away about “don’t you knowwwww talkin’ about a revollluuutttiooonn”
Drew: !!!
Heather: KIIS FM
Drew: Wow congrats on being gay
Heather: lol and to you
Drew: A real through line from I must listen to the full CDs of the top 20 songs of the moment to I must watch all 20 seasons of Drag Race
Heather: you’ve always been you
do you remember your first concert?
Drew: Yes!
My first ever concert was Bruce Springsteen with my dad
And my first concert I went to with friends was Bright Eyes at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery
Heather: whoa!
Drew: What was yours?
Heather: new kids on the block
Drew: Hahahaha
Heather: :joy:
Drew: Perfect
Heather: so perfect
it’s amazing you have enough stories for at least two memoirs and you’re so young!
Drew: Hahaha it helps that I was always narrativizing even before I knew what the narrative was
So I’ve got a lot of built up memories
What’s wild is so many of my adolescent memories I remember drunk but I didn’t drink in high school…
I was just acting that way sober…
Heather: oh wow!
Drew: I soberly was belting out the words to Thunder Road alone in my friend’s room during a party because I felt angsty about my crush??
Heather: ahahahaha!!!
i feel like 30% of a-camp is this experience?
Drew: But not sober!!
Or I guess maybe some people manage the angst sober
Heather: I JUST CAN’T FACE MYSELF ALONE AGAIN DON’T RUN BACK INSIDE
Drew: :sob:
Heather: lol right yes
Drew: God I still love Springsteen so much
Valerie: my first ever concert was Garth Brooks with my dad and my first concert that was my own choice was the All That music festival
so i’ve always been embarrassing
Heather: valerie did you see a broadway show or attend a concert first?
Valerie: i had definitely been to local theater before i went to a concert…but i was 9 when i went to Garth lol
and unless you count seeing Chorus Line in utero, i don’t think i went to New York for the first time until I was 11
Carmen: I saw Boyz II Men and Brandy when I was 8
Valerie: !!
Carmen: Truly the greatest night of my young life
Valerie: heather i just asked my mom and i was 9 when i went to NY and saw my first broadway show (Grease!) so i think my first concert and first broadway show happened in the same year haha
i’m surprised, because i remember that trip so vividly, i def thought i was older
also it was for my birthday so that means i knew the movie Grease inside and out long before i turned 9
questionable parenting decisions
also i think rosie o’donnell was rizzo
lol

Christina: Okay sooooo

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cynthia Erivo (@cynthiaerivo)

Carmen: I am not dealing with this today. I refuse.
(Ok so of course I immediately caved and watched b/c I am messy, and now I would like to know, out a trillion other questions I have: Why are they are like professional headshots? It’s so cold and lifeless! It looks like on of those slideshows that BET or Essence puts together. And not… someone’s girlfriend?)
What is the point of publicly doing a “happy birthday, I know we aren’t really publicly dating but everyone knows what the deal is” post and then… using all getty images? I do not get it!
Carmen: Not even a single selfie!
Christina: I will say as a dedicated servant of “celebrities posting on IG” they simply have no idea what to do with a birthday
Posting all kinds of wild images
I recently saw someone post a photo of a cast mate that had CERTAINLY been scanned?? On scanner??

Laneia: please remember that today is friday and if you want anything that’s been submitted you need to CLAIM IT BEFORE EOD
otherwise everyone in there is receiving a kind and gentle rejection from me on monday
Heather: the ones i replied to already i emailed and accepted them! in the channel i mean!
Laneia: Heather Hogan 4 SENATE
actually Heather 4 a vacation tbh
Heather: yes please don’t pray me to washington!!!
this is also how i used to respond to my sunday school teachers telling me they were praying god was preparing me a husband

Heather: okay we gotta write this “movies to make her break up with him” list. i’ll write it and get pictures for it if y’all will help me brainstorm this absolute public service.
Image from iOS
Drew: Are these movies where women leave men or just movies where queers are so hot it’d make anyone gay
Heather: i think the second one is more persuasive!
Drew: Either way… Bound
The Handmaiden
Foxfire
Heather: honestly kissing jessica stein
Drew: Right !!
Heather: desert hearts
Drew: I’m also thinking of movies with a misandrist bent
Carol
In Between
Heather: mm yes i am always thinking of that
the half of it
Drew: Yes
Summertime
Heather: portrait of a lady on fire
debs
jk i just wanna put debs on every list
Drew: Shortbus……
I mean DEBS absolutely made some people gay
Jennifer’s Body
Heather: yeah well so did loving annabelle
Drew: hahahaha
When Night is Falling
Heather: good one!
Drew: I Can’t Think Straight
Heather: there’s like a third list here of mediocre men that ruined lesbian movies, like bend it like beckham
Drew: Hahaha right
Rachel: midsommar & handmaiden double feature
Heather: ahahahaha!!!
we should also make a “don’t let your cusp gay best friend crush watch these movies” list. black swan, lost and delirious, that lesbian cello one with allison williams.
Drew: Heather why are you attacking my favorite films
Heather: hahahaha!
Drew: unnamed.jpg
Heather: :eagle:
Drew: I have no defense for lesbian cello allison williams though
(except that I did enjoy it)
Heather: what’s the deal with that one? they’re cello rivals and there’s killer bees and they saw each other’s cello arms off
Drew: Yeah throw in some gaslighting, hallucinating, and abusive cello teachers and you’ve got it
It is one of the few movies to make my jaw literally drop in recent years so I’ll give it that
Drew: I think the first half is legitimately good?? but the rest less so
Heather: it feels like quite an accomplishment to make your jaw drop with a movie, especially a gay one
Drew: It’s like a perfect double feature with High Tension
Heather: wow you and rachel should really do some double feature recs
Drew: Autostraddle Cinemas Presents
Heather: lllolol
Stef: wow i thought i had watched the lesbian cello movie but maybe i just watched * a* lesbian cello movie
Drew: Which lesbian cello movie did YOU watch??
Stef: i don’t know but elements of this description sound unfamiliar!!
omg maybe i watched the jessica alba movie where she’s a violinist
Drew: Was The Eye lesbian ??
Stef: i don’t think so!!! i think they just make a lot of vaguely erotic psychological thrillers about string players
the eye was very bad, i remember that
as a vaguely erotic psychological string player myself i appreciate the representation
Drew: Please watch The Perfection and text me the entire time
Stef: i could swear there are more lesbian cello movies
Heather: does the runaways also count in the genre of vaguely erotic psychological string player
oh and her smell!
GIVE ME ANOTHER GENRE, LET’S GO!
KILLER BEES!
THE PERFECTION
MY GIRL
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Drew: Tell It to the Bees is the opposite as a swarm of bees heroically save the protagonist from a rapist
Heather: hero bees!
Drew: Finally the representation the bees deserve
Heather: les-bee-an representation
i’m sorry
Drew: Never apologize for brilliance
Stef: make more lesbian bee movies you cowards
Carly: birds of prey made me gayer
Stef: gob’s not on board
Sarah: i can tell you what distinctly did halt progress of making my highschool best friend my girlfriend, and it was the lesbians on queer as folk.

UPDATE:

Stef: i’m back to say it turns out i had only seen the first 20 minutes or so of the lesbian cello movie and WOW
this is NOT the Jessica Alba movie at all

Get Into AAPI Heritage Month! — Love Your Neighborhood Autostraddle

Today marks the the end of AAPI Heritage Month and we’re so proud this work. In case you missed any of the series, here they are. We hope you take some time today to do a little reading!

When Love Is A Matter Of Desperation

The Complicated Nature of Sex for Asian Women

How Tam Found Empowerment in the Closet

What You Think A Woman Looks Like

These Portraits Depict the Radiance of Asian Trans Leaders

Mourning the Loss of Indigenous Queer Identities

The Birth and Death of a Name

https://develop.autostraddle.com/theres-a-little-india-in-south-africa/

The Right to Breathe

Editor’s Notes: On AAPI Heritage Month 2021

TOO MUCH ZUCCHINI CONTENT?!

[Context: we are organizing extensive archives of content!]

Kayla: the tags that were most accurately used in the food archive were vegan and gluten free
also i am shook by how much zucchini propaganda there was in the archive
literally a million posts about zucchini
honestly it’s shocking no one ever made a zucchini tag
based on the sheer amount of zucchini content
Riese: that’s fascinating
is it the same person
Kayla: no!!!!! multiple people!!!!
Riese: what is there to say about zucchini besides “zucchini bread is great”
Kayla: there are whole ass zucchini lists
Riese: oh wow we have like 8 zucchini recipes
we had competing zucchini lists!
erin came out against zucchini
Kayla: yes! mey vs. erin about zuchinni
wow that’s a hard word to spell
Riese: it is!!!
Kayla: lol
Riese: also this is why our seo is bad lol
we have two lists that are basically the same thing!
32 zucchini recipes that are more exciting than zucchini brad AND 23 zucchini recipes for good people of the world
Kayla: yup
Riese: my god wow the zucchini content truly never ends
Kayla: that’s simply too much zucchini
Riese: it’s obscene
Kayla: i can’t remember the last time i ate zucchini but to be fair i’m not a vegan
i feel like vegans are always pushing zucchini
and the gluten free ppl are always pushing zoodles
Riese: speaking of being vegan it’s funny that rachel and carolyn used to be vegans
and then slowly they transitioned out of veganism
and then carolyn was like “here’s how to make a whole chicken”
oh yeah zoodles
Kayla: OK RIGHT? I was like wait IS RACHEL VEGAN?
Riese: she was!!!
Kayla: i honestly had a full spiral where i was like questioning everything i knew about rachel
i was like she has been vegan THIS WHOLE TIME? but then no just realized she USED to be vegan and now is not

What We’ve Been Reading

Heather: We Free the Stars by Hafsah Faizal

Vanessa: Rise to the Sun by Leah Johnson (I’m bragging because it’s an advance copy but you should pre-order yours right now so you can read it as soon as it comes out in July!)

Carmen: Rise to the Sun by Leah Johnson (Wow! EXACT SAME AS VANESSA!! Preorder, it’s the perfect summer queer romance and you will not regret. Cross my heart, you will NOT regret it!)

Natalie: While Justice Sleeps by Stacey Abrams

Drew: With Teeth by Kristen Arnett

Casey: The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechel and The Woefield Poultry Collective by Susan Juby

Riese: The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith

Laneia: Girlhood by Melissa Febos

Your Bone Bone Horoscope Going Into June 2021

pic.twitter.com/YrXCpsGOA2

— ㅤَ (@bonebonebot) May 30, 2021

Many things are in motion! Astrologically, we’re in the middle of a tumultuous eclipse season. Globally, we’re still undergoing a deadly pandemic. In some areas, people are trying to re-navigate social and work situations they haven’t been in for almost years now. Bone Bone knows he can’t provide the answers, but encourages you to resource yourself as fully as possible; pack your tiny backpack(s) full of everything that helps you be safe & nourished.

Have You Tried the Tagliatelle It’s Delicious Here

Heather: Everything Dani Campbell Has Done Since ‘A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila’
Stef: remember when tila tequila said she identified as “literally hitler”
custom basketballs!! dani!!
Heather: i love that custom basketballs is #1
Stef: it does seem like the most important
has anyone watched a shot at love since that show was on
i bet it would be wildly offensive now
Heather: i bet it would be unwatchable! i was very weirdly thinking about it this morning because i was trying to mentally assemble a list of biggest moments that shaped queer reality tv and i was blanking on any actual things that happened on the show
Stef: i don’t remember any of it
i blanked it out
Heather: lol same
Stef: i was also trying to figure out if i was bi at the time and that show was not helping
Heather: hahaha!
Stef: it’s available in very poor quality on dailymotion

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila S01 E01 Surprise I Like Boys and Girls – Part 01
this is… a mess
right off the bat i would say her choice to meet 16 specifically straight men and 16 specifically lesbian women is flawed
why would you deprive yourself of bisexual dudes
Heather: wow thirty two people seems like A LOT
Stef: someone already said “i’ve never been with an asian chick but i like chinese food”
ok she’s cutting 5 men right off the bat
Heather: seems smart tbh
Stef: they all had to bring her a gift and one guy brought her detergent because he has washboard abs
“you know, if you ever need to wash some clothes”
Valerie: i hope you mean cutting with a small but fashionable knife
Stef: there is a token cowboy and an italian guy with an accent whose gift was spaghetti
i vote for him
yessss spaghetti made the cut
all the women are giving me strong dawn denbo and my lover cindi vibes
Heather: lolololoo that makes horrifying sense
Stef: one already said she’d have to be blind and (r word) not to be into tila! they JUST SHOWED UP
i apologize for the updates but i just
wow
KaeLyn: I would watch this recast in 2021 but only bisexuals including the contestants and the d-list star, an all bisexual A Shot at Love… with a real bisexual.
Valerie: i’ve never needed anything more on a monday afternoon than you live-reacting to a shot at love with tila tequila, stef
KaeLyn: So unfortuntely Vietnamese nazi-sympathizer, Ms. Tila, could not star
Stef: a lot of this


oh they’re wearing the same panties, that’s what’s happening here
Valerie: of course
KaeLyn: My favorite part about being gay is comparing our panties.
Stef: the men all tried to fight each other, the women are just getting wasted
her reactions to the man who told her he was a virgin and the girl who told her she was a virgin are… wildly different
Heather: dani’s just trying to get her face out there for when she launches her custom basketball company
Stef: dani is just sitting on a couch while tila immediately makes out with another girl
and looks like she wants to evaporate
now the women are… doing a runway show in various sexy costumes??
they all raided the sexy halloween costumes section of halloween adventure, a woman in a tiny camo outfit just said “i wanna make you my POW”
ok the house has a REVOLVING BAR with like a wall that spins with it, like les mis
so tila just came in spinning around in the revolving bar to eliminate 5 women
Stef: no one has escaped with their dignity
Stef: everyone is MAD she’s bi
Stef: now the lesbians are fighting spaghetti about his italian flag speedo
Stef: one girl like straight up walked off the show because men are gross and now tila is begging her to stay outside a u haul van
Stef: she made a rule they’re not allowed to hook up with each other! smart
oh i forgot they all sleep in one giant bed
spaghetti is wearing a t shirt that says “vagitarian”
Stef: there is a little ad in the corner for me to pimp my phone with 50 cent ringtones
obviously the lesbians are hooking up with each other and the men
Heather: RINGTONES
Stef: also don’t miss the premiere of the new season of RUN’S HOUSE
spaghetti is a tattletale!!!
spaghetti is a TAGLIATELLE
i’m sorry
i’m not better than that joke
Heather: i just laughed so loud two cats bolted out of the room
Stef: there is a big scandal over whether one of hte guys hooked up with one of the girls! everyone is mad at spaghetti
now tila is interrogating the girl and asking if she’s really a lesbian
this is problematic af!!!
Stef: dani won a pie eating contest where they had to just lick a pie until they reached the bottom and the men think the lesbians had an unfair advantage. they are correct

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!