Letter From Your Editors

Hello there early Spring sunbeams!! Welcome to your Insider!

This month Laneia tasked us to take a picture with something that we created, made or bought that we LOVE, and here we are — just as proud as can be:

1st: Carmen + Shirley Chisolm sweatshirt // Ro + new! desk! setup! // Nicole + all those fundraiser perks // Drew + a career // Casey + A BABY HUMAN
2nd: Heather + book draft // Vanessa + essay zine // Shelli + Sugar Moon kits // Stef + drums music babes // Laneia + Pixar villain hair
3rd: Rachel + plants surviving winter // Meg + 3am Tarot study books // Valerie Anne + AS profile // Sarah + oyster knife // Abeni + this incredible book

Can you believe this is already my FOURTH letter from the editor?? I don’t think it’s any surprise that I usually write these letters tired (I mean I wrote my first one at 3:30 in the morning!! Not my proudest moment). But today?? Today I am literally bouncing off the walls! This afternoon I tried to skate down the hallway in my socks like I was Tom Cruise in Risky Business or one of the Saved by the Bell boys.

I promptly almost busted my ass. But my friends… That! Is NOT! The Point!

I am so excited, just over the fucking moon excited, for where Autostraddle is going right now. We’ve just finished some internal hiring that I can’t wait to talk to you all about (next month!). I’ve spent all of March with Riese making plans to really tackle our problems fighting the corporate overloads of Google and SEO, and the ways that’s in turn effecting our traffic and who can find our site or is reading our site. Last week I presented parts of those plans to the rest of the Senior Editors for Team Buy In before we start brainstorming together further next steps and you know what? I was nervous, because the tasks ahead of us are mighty, but once again I was met with nothing but grit and enthusiasm and spirit from the people who make this website tick. Nicole dropped everything to help me organize our plans, even on a Friday evening! Heather spent her weekend taking SEO classes online. And this morning she wrote to me and said, “You know what? We’re really doing this!” And friends… we are!

Today, on the last day of March, I looked around on our website and I was so overcome with joy. I am so proud of our team, of the work we are accomplishing together to make our website stronger, bolder, more efficient, but also — more inclusive and reflecting all the various parts of our community. It’s my goal that no one reading Autostraddle has to leave a part of themselves at the door to feel welcome in our space. Anyway I’m a Cancer so I got a lil in my feelings (don’t judge me) and I took to my twitter:

Today's Autostraddle headlines: Black queer TikTok, Janelle Monáe, reported analysis of anti-trans violence in Puerto Rico, trans fiction writers, Niecy Nash, Lil Nas X's CBYN.

Today might be the first since becoming EIC where I see it, bits of my heart all over our homepage. ❤️

— Carmen Phillips (@carmencitaloves) March 31, 2021

Thank you A+ members for supporting this work. I believe we have omg OVER  700  NEW HUMANS WHO HAVE JOINED US SINCE OUR FUNDRAISER!! This thing that we’re doing, this community we’re building — all of us, together — it wouldn’t be possible without you. No lie, the joy around Autostraddle’s slack today has been straight up PALPABLE and I hope you feel it, too!

This month there was lots that we were so happy to create for you: There were two A+ Advice Boxes, we got real and vulnerable about how we’ve been struggling as we mark the one year anniversary of COVID, and you helped us make the final calls (lol I think in sports this is called “seeds”) on our March Madness brackets. We celebrated our 12th Birthday with your very own advice to your tween selves, an Ask-Us-Anything-A-Thon, and a triumphant return of the A+ Discord Server!! There was an EXCLUSIVE book excerpt from Arkady Martine’s A Desolation Called Peace, just for your eyeballs! And of course there’s always SLICK erotica: Sweet Dreams by Hansen and Plug and Play by Unitywrites, both edited by our own Carolyn Yates.

I’m wishing you all iced tea or whatever is your springtime treat of choice! (Unless you are reading this from the other side of the world where it’s not spring! Then you get to have any treat you’d like!)

Love,

Carmen / Rachel / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese

Top 10 Most Popular New Posts From February 2021

1. ’80s and ’90s Sitcom Characters, Ranked by Lesbianism, by Heather + Team
2. 60 Straight Actresses Who Play Gay A Lot, by Riese
3. What’s New and Queer and Streaming on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and HBO Max in February 2021?, by Riese
4. BREAKING: JoJo Siwa’s Reveals Her Girlfriend’s Identity, Is The Happiest Person Alive, by Riese
5. Sundance 2021: “The World to Come” Is an Extraordinary Lesbian Romance Ruined By Casey Affleck, by Drew
6. Queer Horoscopes for February 2021: How Can We Get Somewhere Different from Here?, by Corinna
7. Pop Culture Fix: The Kate McKinnon Sketch Rachel Maddow Says Is the Best One in 100 Years, by Heather
8. I’m Fucking Tired of Writing About Abuse and Sexual Violence Against Bi Women Like Evan Rachel Wood, Heron
9. Also.Also.Also: Jojo Siwa Adorably Loves Her Girlfriend, Says If Coming Out Meant “I Lost Everything I Created” It’s Worth It, by Carmen
10. Also.Also.Also: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Michelle Trachtenberg, Amber Benson, Charisma Carpenter Under One Banner: “F*CK Joss Whedon”, by Carmen

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Nicole: (I also want to note that there are a couple houseplant q’s that didn’t get answered in the first shift…in case anyone can help. I can’t. So…)
(and cat q’s! cats and plants! always giving our A+ members a time)
Vanessa: god i am so useless at cats AND plants
i hope someone wants to talk about sex or their dad dying
Nicole: i can help you if the plant is outside and an herb and/or vegetable
vanessa that could have been your summary
Vanessa: HAHA
i told rachel, the day my dad died: “what if i can never write about sex again, what if i can only write about my dead dad?”
and she said
“good thing t kira madden is your mentor, babe.”
and you know what
that’s great energy!
Nicole: oh wow
Vanessa: i love t kira and she writes about both! goddess bless, etc.
Nicole: truly
Riese: i’d just like to echo vanessa
“i am so useless at cats AND plants
i hope someone wants to talk about sex or their dad dying”
Vanessa: haha riese i almost apologized for being a downer
and then i was like
Riese: NO SUCH THING
Vanessa: riese bernard founded autostraddle dot com
i do not need a disclaimer here
Riese: HAHAHAH
Vanessa: this site was built on sex and dead dads!!! let’s go!!!!!!!!!!

Stef:

Hmmmm. pic.twitter.com/uTXkEiY79x

— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) February 25, 2021

hmmmm
Heather: stef you should do a post where you tell your problems to different pictures of iconic queer celebs and document how you feel
i couldn’t help but wonder — was gillian smirking with me or at me
Stef: like a you need help but the answer is just janelle monae staring back at me
which, yeah

Natalie: more queer folks on tv:
Caitlin Kinnunen & Bella Ortiz To Play Millennial Nun Leads In CW Pilot From Jennie Snyder UrmanHeather: “millennial nun leads”
you ever feel like CW is making shows with like a mad libs board
Carmen: hahaa all the time
Valerie: there’s just one of those bingo ball spinners but instead of numbers there are random nouns in one and adjectives in another
Riese: MILLENNIAL NUN LEADS

Shelli:

pic.twitter.com/23UTCpQdbK

— $?!🐾 (@bimboctrl) March 25, 2021

All I care about today
Stef: we’re all doing great
Heather: hahahaha!!!
Stef: doja cat hangin onto that scorpio cusp
Heather: me subtweeting all my high school friends
and college friends
Stef: and adult friends
“man cmon” is the cherry on top
Heather: it’s perfect
Stef: at 9 am!!!
i respect it

Valerie: every month my hatred of photos of myself and my fear of disappointing people goes to war
laneia wins this round
Laneia: it’s the goddamn fight of your life and i started it
Valerie: you’re worth fighting for
(aka my photo is uploaded lol)
Meg: i am so upset that you quoted taylor swift and i recognized it
what is happening to me
Valerie: Muahaha
Laneia: meg that stupid song brings me to tears every single time i listen to it and there’s no reason for it to! i can be in the happiest most carefree mood, and i’ll be crying before the song is over. i hate it.
Meg: i am very decidedly not a taylor swift person but my gf is absolutely obsessed with that song and i know it far better than i ever intended lol
and it is in fact beautiful
Heather: meg i am so proud of you
Laneia: i keep wanting to tweet about it bc i feel like i can’t be alone but then i’m too embarrassed to know how to talk about it
Meg: i can think of at least three people off the top of my head that would see that tweet and be delighted to talk to you about it
Shelli: Dunzo!
Laneia: LOL we are all doing fine, 2020 and 2021 have not broken us in the least
thank you shelli !!! :yellow_heart:
Valerie: I am one of those three people
Heather: two of the three
Meg: yes you are two of the three i was thinking of lol

Riese: important press release today:

Heather: FIVE HOURS A MONTH keeping your aquascape clean is NOT labor intensive? Heather: do you know how many hundreds of millions of bells i could make selling turnips on the stalk market for five hours a month?!!
Himani: lol heather it’s not the same as aquascaping but my sister kept trying to get me to get an aquarium and i was like “but i have a cat who will do everything in his power to get the fish inside”
Heather: oh wow himani! my cats also would LOVE that challenge!
Himani: and then she told me to do one without fish (which i guess would be aquascaping?) and iwas like “i will end up with water all over the floor”
yea my cats would too, espeically my older one
he would not rest until he got the fish
so i guess my real question here is how much overlap is there between the 40% of queer women with cats and the 23.9% of aquascaping queers

Stef:
Demi Lovato Details Failed Max Ehrich Engagement In Doc, ‘Shocked’ By His Split Claims
more information about that man who cried on the beach
who was he? even demi doesn’t know!!!
Heather: he looks like a bad boy life guard on the cover of a sweet valley book
“are elizabeth and max surfing toward disaster??”
Stef: hahaha
i love his evolution from astronaut to sweet valley high!
i bet demi is wondering the same thing
her face in that picture is “literally WHOMST???”
Stef: she thought he was an astronaut but he turned out to be a lifeguard and she is UPSET
no wonder she had to decorate her house so gay
Heather: i wonder if demi would choose marriage or mortgage
Stef: she literally chose mortgage
she dumped this man and bought a home
a hero

Laneia: looking at search terms for this week’s newsletter and physically felt this in my chest, so i had to share:
“the fedoras lesbians used to wear”
Heather: the fedoras lesbians used to wear, ranked
Laneia: !!!
remember the futch firefighter
Nicole: oh wow
Heather:

Laneia: i never wore a fedora but sometimes i remember layering up to 3 paper-thin tops and i need to lie down
Sarah: muscle tank under a spaghetti strap
Laneia: 😩

Carmen: WHO IS WRITING A POST ABOUT MUGS???
I will murder for this michelle obama portrait gallery mug

Ok great goodnight!
Riese: haha that’s for the quiz

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Orange You Glad to See Us

Riese: so backlinks are when other sites link to our posts, and it builds up our post authority and our search rankings and i got a report that shows what some of our major backlinks is and one of them is um
this: After Mario Batali Gets Caught Groping In His Crocs, Sales Of Orange Things Plunge

to our 100 things that are orange list
Sarah: omg
that’s why
Nicole: LOL
Laneia: omfg
Riese: this is our #1 post for backlinks!
Nicole: just wow
Riese:
In “This Is Not A Donald Trump Post” News, Cheyenne Jackson And His Husband Had Twins:”
I’m excited that I don’t have to look over at the “100 Things That Are Orange” list in preparation for this post! American Horror Story actor Cheyenne Jackson and his husband Jason Landau welcomed twins into their lives. The couple used Instagram (via Entertainment Tonight) to introduce the w

the orange things
a hit! for other websites
probs cuz it’s not gay

Gator: Orange is the new green
A Hanahan resident came across a gator in his neighborhood this week and while seeing the animal in that area isn’t unusual, the reptile’s color was.Instead of the normal green-ish brown color that gators normally sport, this 4-5 foot guy was a shocking sh

Laneia: every single week we live and breathe there are people finding autostraddle bc they simply wondered out loud to a search engine, “what are some things that are orange”
Riese: bless their hearts
i remember making that post thinking “what are you doing with your life” the whole time
Laneia: “seeding future traffic” was the correct answer

What We’ve Been Reading

Vanessa: The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend is My Girlfriend: Advice on Queer Dating, Love, and Friendship by Maddy Court and Kelsey Wroten and 100 Boyfriends by Brontez Purnell

Abeni: We Do This ‘Til We Free us by Mariame Kaba

Casey: Cyclopedia Exotica by Aminder Dhaliwal and Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

Ro: Mud, Rocks, Blazes: Letting Go on the Appalachian Trail by Heather Anderson

Riese: Polar Vortex by Shani Mootoo and Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters

Kayla: Girlhood by Melissa Febos and Infinite Country by Patricia Engel and Lakewood by Megan Giddings and Magic For Liars by Sarah Gailey

Meg: Entering Hekate’s Garden by Cyndi Brannen

Drew: 100 Boyfriends by Brontez Purnell

Sarah: Home by Vanessa Friedman

Heather: The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna

Bone Bone Horoscope Going Into April 2021

pic.twitter.com/Y5zsuoA8nD

— ㅤَ (@bonebonebot) March 31, 2021

Tentatively, we look ahead: a vista of green grass, sunny days and chilly air, screaming birds. Perhaps we pack our little yellow backpack of learning and resources to move forward into a future we’re cautiously optimistic about; what will you put in yours?

Spiritually, We’re All Making Candles with Queen Latifah

Carmen: Hellooooo channel! I am here with a humble request that you maybe can help with! As you know tomorrow is Autostraddle’s 12th (omg!) birthday — and we are celebrating by really leaning in to our tween years. My contribution to this fantasy is teen magazine style quiz about celebrity dream dates. Here’s where I can use help!
I want to make sure I’m covering my bases/aren’t just depending on my own tastes. SO!! Name a hot queer celebrity and your dream date with that person!!
(If you never took one of these quizzes as a kid, it’s like this: Would you go to the mall food court with Jonathon Taylor Thomas? A movie date with Leonardo DiCaprio? The state fair with one of the Jonas Brothers? And so, on so forth….. but make it gay!)
Por ejemplo, would your dream date Sarah Paulson take you for coffee at that cute little coffee shop on the corner with the biodegradable tea cups? I think she would!
Drew: The speed at which my brain said “a film festival with Desiree Akhavan”
(She follows me on Twitter now so I feel about two years off from making this a reality)
Dani: The only celebrity I can ever think of is Queen Latifah
my dream date with her would be like going candle making or designing signature fragrances for each other followed by a nice dinner and a walk holding hands in the park
Carmen: UMM NO THAT IS EXCELLENT
Peak older dyke dream date content
I honestly would still go sneaker shopping with Lena Waithe and yes I judge myself for it
Nicole: signature fragrances!!!
Carmen: Who’s going to a book reading? or an open mic? Someone! Is!
@natalie what’s a good “sports date” that someone would go on with, say for example, Megan Rapinoe?
OR! Another sports celebrity who isn’t Megan Rapinoe!
Tracy: I had a dream Megan Rapinoe and Sue Bird came to my wife’s and my house for dinner. That counts as literal dream date
Carmen: ok thats cuuute tho
Heather: sneaker shopping with seimone augustus

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Seimone Augustus (@moneymone33)

Stef: am i allowed to request a botanical garden with trace lysette
Drew: !!
Stef: i really feel like if she gave me a chance she would like me
Drew: I really want that for both of you
Stef: i don’t even like me and i still think that
Heather: jen richards loves museums!
Stef: aw i would love to look at dinosaurs with jen
Carmen: awwww that’s cute! a dino museum with jen richards!
KaeLyn: listening to rare vinyl and doing 1000 piece puzzles with laura jane grace, please.
Valerie: I’m only like 70% sure what’s happening but I want to watch a horror movie marathon with Kate Siegel
Carmen: that is exactly what is happening
Valerie: great
Carmen: what’s a date someone would want to go on with chyler leigh, for example?
The idea is that the dates are sort of pg-13 in a tween way (a dino museum! a coffee date! rare vinyls and a puzzle! holding hands in a park!)
Valerie: i am tempted to say a concert because i met her at her husband’s concert but is that weird haha
Carmen: hahaahaaa
Drew: “go to her husband’s concert with Chyler Leigh where I will make comments that casually undercut her husband’s worth until she starts to doubt their relationship and leaves him for me”
A perfect first date!
Valerie: listen he’s a chill dude i’m open to her staying married to him while we date if she is :laughing:
Drew: hahaha
Valerie: (and just to be perfectly clear the :laughing: is about the idea that chyler leigh would want to date me haha)
Valerie: is it bad that i barely remember what i used to do with friends let alone what happens on dates
Carmen: ooooohhhh I think I would enjoy going to a studio session with Chika or Bre-z now that I think about it, where they will write me a love song
Ok since she’s not my type…. what’s a date people would want to go on with k stew?
Doesn’t she like iced coffee or something?
Dani: Carmen 😂 😂 or something
Carmen: 🤷🏾‍♀️
Stef: oh yeah
she just walks around los feliz with a green juice, scowling
i’d do that with her
Carmen: oh that’s perfect great
tenor.gif
Abeni: are there any outdoorsy celesbians that would be down to go rock climbing or on a hike? bc that’s a date i would go on
but i don’t know about famous ppl
so maybe y’all know someone who would be down
Carmen: I would LOVE an outdoorsy date! Thank you Abeni, we will find someone!
Anyone know an a celesbian who loves to climb mountains?
Heather: anne lister
sorry that is a very specific joke, i will find you a mountaineer
Stef: you know who would be annoying to go to guitar center and try out pedals with, st vincent
that also sounds like a terrible date idea. did i ever go on dates??? in my whole life???
Heather: lol no i was just like “didn’t i recently see candace parker on a mountain?”
and so i made my little winky joke
Stef: what did i ever do on dates
Heather: excited for your review of st vincent’s new album daddy’s home
Stef: i like her and her music! i bet it will be great
it’s gonna be great when daddy is home
Heather: oh me too! i love her music! i just want some daddy’s home jokes!
Stef: daddy is definitely carrie brownstein
oh man what would i do with carrie brownstein
we’d have to just get twee brunch right?
Heather: for starters
Stef: see where the day takes us
Heather: could you ask her how much of her scenes were left out of carol while you’re at brunch
Stef: A LOT OF THEM I FEEL
I’M SO MAD

XOXO

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