Letter From Your Editors

Hey, it’s August, it’s still a pandemic, we’re still here, queer and hot!

1st: Shelli // Heather // Ari // Kamala // Drew // Vanessa
2nd: Kayla // Abeni // Sarah // Stef // Valerie Anne // Meg
3rd: Rachel // Dani // Malic // Laneia // Adrian // Nicole

By far the most important news this month on our slice of the planet is that our fundraiser was a raging success, THANKS TO YOU! Seriously, when Nicole shared the number of A+ members who had joined during the fundraiser, it really put a rosy tint on everything (also, if you have a moment to congratulate Nicole on making this fundraiser so effective, please do 💐). I’m getting a little joy wherever I can and, alongside keeping my freezer full of at least three kinds of ice cream at all times, knowing that you share our belief in the importance of this community goes a long way to putting a bounce in my step.

In addition to the re-emergence of S L I C K, which I hope you enjoy, Rachel published some beautiful and thought-provoking work on the theme Future Present that aligned with our fundraiser vision, and some really juicy roundtables on sex & dating. I’m very proud of the illuminating conversation Carmen edited into a smooth read on what the term BIPOC means to our writers of color, was highly entertained by Natalie & Carmen’s review of THE sex scene in The Chi, am learning so much about why I should care more about the WNBA in Britni de la Cretaz’s column and am regularly left muttering “holy shit” to myself after reading Dani Janae’s series, Anatomy Of A Mango.

I hope you’re letting the fall creep slowly up on us, comforted, as I am, by knowing we’ll still be here playing the hits for you!

Love,

Kamala / Carmen / Rachel / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From July

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. Naya Rivera is Dead at 33, by Riese + Carmen + Heather
2. 11 Newish TV Shows With New Lesbian and Bisexual Characters, by Riese
3. Anatomy of a Mango: Skin, by Dani
4. Taylor Swift’s “betty” Is Exactly the Anthem I Needed as a 16-Year-Old Repressed Lesbian, by Heather
5. What We Wish We’d Known Before Having Gay Sex for the First Time, by the Team
6. Pop Culture Fix: Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s Dinosaur Movie Will Wow You With The Power of Lesbian Touch, by Heather
7. What’s Gay and New and Streaming On Netflix, Amazon and Hulu in July 2020? by Riese
8. Queer Horoscopes for July 2020: What Work Stands Before You to Learn to Love Subversively? by Corinna
9. Meet Your New Batwoman — Bisexual Actress Javicia Leslie! by Heather
10. Did Dakota Johnson Come Out as Bisexual, or Just Hang Out With Cara Delevingne? by Stef

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Drew: Pitch for a future Friday roundtable: Favorite straight couple on TV
Natalie: ooohhhh.
Drew: Yes this is inspired by Moe and Noah on Trinkets who are so darn cute Sometimes straight couples are cute and I’m like wow do I care about this straight couple?? And I do! Sometimes I actually do
Carmen: I care about two straight couples and both are from the 90s
But I’ll play!
Natalie: Not even Issa and Lawrence, Carmen?
Drew: Why couldn’t you choose a couple from the 90s!
Carmen: Natalie… did you seriously… just mistake me… for #LawrenceHive???

Shelli: Not me flirting with this girl and converting her into a future a+ member by talking about our black and brown leaders and @Dani:

Carmen: Ok but this girl has game!! I respect it.
“I enjoyed always reading all the sex toy reviews.. I wonder if some of them were yours”
Dani: “I wonder if some of them were yours” OKAY MONICA
Meg: wow yes monica
Carmen: THANK YOU DANI
AND MEG
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who peeped it!!
mon dieu
Shelli: Monica is moving in the RIGHT DIRECTION
Dani: So good and thank you for the plug
Malic:: Monica is GOING FOR IT.
Laneia: Definitely: Monica
Shelli: LANEIA THAT TOOK ME A MINUTE BUT LOLLOLOLOL
Heather: shelli you are so you and i love it so much!
Nicole: MONICA 2. The level of multi-tasking that is flirting AND A+ member recruitment. IMPRESSIVE.
Heather: “i wonder if some of them were yours”
Sarah: so in love with you not adding this girl to your phone.
Shelli: Lol NAHHHHHH you gotta earn your letter in my 22 contacts (or be a family member or my landlord lol)

Ari: oh….my god
Sarah: this is INSPIRING
Dani: SHELLIIII
Sarah: i personally want to know EVERYTHING about this system
Stef: i love maybe: monica
but how do i get to be on diana’s level
or is that your landlord, i don’t want that
Shelli: You do not want to be on Diana’s level she’s the landlord but to move from just a phone number to an initial it’s a bit of lite work you know – the way Monica texting she might be getting a letter in the next 4-7 business weeks

Drew: I enjoyed all the lesbian movie discourse on Twitter today
I was like oh I know about this topic
Also I like that people seem to be increasingly demanding in what they want
Like I want people to be happy and enjoy what we do have
But I also love people being like wait no we want more
Riese: yeah like me wanting s2 of euphoria
Drew: lol
I also want that
Riese: you know what i want drew
if
these
walls
could
tal
k
3
Drew: !!!!
Okay but
Riese: 3
Drew: My concern would be
Riese: 3333
3
Drew: That because 1 was about abortion and 2 was about lesbians
Riese: why make a 2 if not a 3?? same question i have for sister act
Drew: 3 would be about something else
Not lesbians
I only want 3 if it’s about lesbians
Riese: TRANS PEOPLE
Drew: I would take that too!!
Or I would take If These Walls Could Talk 2: 2
Riese: i would take Sister Act 3
but gay
Drew: Let’s call Patti LuPone and Holland Taylor’s studio I’m sure they can make this happen

Rachel: just wanted to say i’m really loving the synchronicity and overall level of sexual tension on our homepage rn

Carmen: LMAO!!
Drew: If I know one thing about lesbians it’s that we love age differences and staring at each other with 18 inches between us
Rachel: “is she… you know… six inches taller or shorter than you and 18 inches away?”

Heather:

OGH GOD PLEASE NOOO STOP !!! THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH LEONARDO DI CAPRIO IN THE TITATANIC NOW MAKING LOVE ON SCREEN WITH ANOTHER WOMAN ??? PUKE !!!! I WILL NEVER LOOK AT THE TITANIC THE SAME AGAIN. AND IM LOVED THAT MOVIE. https://t.co/6PJyBVNcUg

— @citizensforalegalamerca conservative news. (@citizensforale1) August 25, 2020

Drew: Guess somebody hasn’t seen Heavenly Creatures!
Heather: 😭
Drew: Also this is the first I’m hearing that Jack in the Titanic wasn’t a woman

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Dani Janae, Writer

Twitter: @figwidow
Instagram:@bell.biv.dahoe

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?

I love a basic tomato sandwich with heirloom tomato, vegan mayo, and maybe some sprouts or microgreens. When I want to beef it up and make it real nice I’ll add avocado, a flaky salt, hummus, sprouts, and if I have it, pickled red onion.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?

I’ve been so proud of the response to the Anatomy of a Mango series. To have someone like Roxane Fucking Gay tweet it out and say wonderful things about it has been surreal and affirming. I struggle to be proud of my writing because of some deep-seated mommy issues that would be a bummer to put into this insider, but those essays are something I’ve put a lot of myself and my work into. I’m happy they are in the world even if I can’t bear to read them again (I know, it’s weird, but I can’t read stuff after it’s been published!) So many people have shared themselves and their stories with me since the first one dropped and it’s been such a journey already.

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?

Welllll my definition of famous might be different than some others but I would love to kick it with these four: Audre Lorde, Louise Gluck, Toi Derricotte, and Emily Dickinson.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?

The first one that I really really remember was probably Toni Braxton. I was in love with her before I even saw her, her voice was that powerful.

What’s your #1 turn-on?

This might make me sound like a dick but: talent? It turns me on so much when someone is GOOD at what they do and they love doing it. Just watching an expert as work is my number one thing. When I meet poets that I admire there’s always this part of me that is sexually aroused by their use of language, form, space. It’s just super wonderful to see.

Straight People Day Bringing Us All Together

Rachel: for anyone who has time and inclination! i am crowdsourcing an affectionate, lightly chastising eyebrow-raise of sentence for queer people to post on social media to call their straight friends to action on social media on straight people day. for some reason i am stuck on “:clock1: it’s ally-o-clock :clock1: ” but i don’t think that’s actually the vibe. what sentence or phrase would you say to lovingly bully yr straight followers into donating to us on friday?
Heather: 🚨Attention, my straights! Oh, how you have been dazzled and baffled by me these many years! Also, though: Educated? Entertained? Enlightened? I need your help to help other queer people. We’re accepting heterosexual dollars today on Autostraddle! Rachel: genius heather
Heather: 🚨 Heterosexuals! 🚨 is so funny to me for some reason, probably because i just took valium because i’m on my way to get an MRI
Rachel: what if we have a graphic that reads
🚨attention straight allies 🚨
now accepting your allyship in the form of heterosexual dollars
Heather: i love that
Rachel: great work here team
Vanessa: rachel something i regularly want to say to the girls i went to high school with is like
“if you have a wealthy husband and 2+ children, which i know most of you do, and you watched all my slutty instagram stories from the summer i was going through A Breakup, you have to donate at least one week’s worth of that dude’s salary! i’m sorry i don’t make the rules! get to giving that money away now plz!”
i don’t think we can actually say that
but that’s the energy i personally want to channel
Heather: something i often want to say to the girls from high school is “you mocked me relentlessly for being weird to make yourselves more popular and now i have 40,000 twitter followers because i’m weird.”
Nicole: Hey there Heterosexual Americans, were you ever maybe once-upon-a-time before you knew better “not” down with the gays? Now’s your chance to make amends. $10 for every “ewwww I bet she’s a lesbian” comment you made in the locker room. Pay up.
I want these things for both of you Heather and Vanessa
Heather: “Have you ever worn a shirt that says ‘Straight But Not Narrow’? You owe me a hundred dollars. Deposit it at this Paypal link.”
Nicole: “Have you ever “come out” as having a fetish/being kinky?” That’ll be $500.
Heather: “White straights, do you just say things constantly you heard on RuPaul? That’s $500.”
Vanessa: “To the girl who got drunk at our high school reunion, patted my arm condescendingly, and told me she and her husband did ALWAYS vote republican but she supported ‘my people’, you owe Autostraddle $10,000 minimum.”
Heather: rachel should we just be emailing invoices to these people do you think?
Vanessa: sorry i think i’m not being very helpful with branding and am maybe just like, working through some Feelings
Valerie: “Have you ever called your best girl friend your ‘girlfriend’? $5 for each infraction.”
Nicole: yours are so specific Vanessa
Vanessa: haha i think mine are emails
Drew: Lol Valerie yes
Heather: is straight people day actually festivus airing of grievances
Rachel: I am imagining a version of Alanis Morissette’s “unsent” that’s just to straight girls past
Heather: “do you dress like a lumberjack? that’s confusing. $5.”
Drew: I think the woman who sat next to me at the queer lit panel at the Brooklyn Book Festival in 2018 who said she was there because her girl friend was on the panel and when I was like that’s so cool she went “Oh I mean my friend! She’s a woman. I’m straight. So is she!” needs to give us several thousand dollars
So does her straight friend the author on the queer lit panel
Vanessa: “To my mom’s best friend, who forced my mom to talk about my queerness before my mom was ready and told her ‘we all know about Vanessa and I’m so sorry for you,’ you literally owe me a million dollars and fyi I didn’t actually like the shitty sweaters you always bought me for my birthday I was just being POLITE.”
Heather: i think you’re really working up to a thread here, V
Vanessa: 3:16 PM
tysm heather
Heather: lmk and i’ll RT it
Vanessa: and here i thought today was the day i was gonna put together a thread of my sappiest work to rly tug on the ol’ queer heartstrings for the fundraiser
every day of the pandemic is truly an unexpected adventure
Nicole: that would ALSO be good Vanessa
Vanessa: oh don’t worry nicole i’m still doing that
Nicole: <3 <3 <3
Shelli: I’m late on this but every straight girl who has used the word “girl crush” owes us 100$ minimum
Dani: Especially every straight girl that has said she is “gay for Ruby Rose” I WILL be sending an invoice
Laneia: i wanted us to make a graphic that they could buy that would read “straight but not useless” but i think rachel thought that was maybe too combative

What We’ve Been Reading

Malic: Darling Days by Io Tillett Wright

Natalie: His Truth Is Marching On: John Lewis and the Power of Hope by Jon Meacham

Nicole:I’ll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara

Meg: Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Carmen: You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson

Drew: A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett

Adrian: Shadowshaper: Legacy, the Shadowshaper Cypher Book 3 by Daniel José Older

Kayla: Memorial by Bryan Washington and Magic For Liars by Sarah Gailey

Kamala: There There by Tommy Orange

Heather: The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson

Abeni: The Body: A Guide For Occupants by Bill Bryson

Ari: Celebrating the Jewish Year: The Fall Holidays by Paul Steinberg

Vanessa: Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow

Laneia: Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger and If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho translated by Anne Carson

ONE GREAT MUG

Welcome to “One Great Mug” — in which a staff member will share a photo of a mug they love. A story about the arbiter of caffeine and/or warmth that gets them through the day.

This is a mug that Kamala got for me (it’s made by Hana Ward of Uno+Ichi) and it’s a mug of her face. The reason I like this mug is because it’s a mug of a cute face, it has a mohawk lid to keep my drinks warm and it always looks at me skeptically — I like that in a mug. The inside of the lid is a pink hue, which suggests that we’re peering inside of Kamala’s brain, which is something all of us love to see. The texture of the mug is a nice matte earthenware with a glossy handle, and the dual textures are very satisfying to hold. This mug is also a reminder that there’s a very cute person in my life! — Sarah

Surprise Wedding Retro-Reading

From Slack two hours ago

Today many of us were shocked to hear the news that Niecy Nash got gay married to her apparent girlfriend!!!!!! It’s not the first time we’ve had a surprise wedding sprung upon us. Here are other highlights:

Oh Hey, Lena Waithe Got Married While You Weren’t Looking!, by Carmen (November 2019) – This is obviously a bit of a yikes now….

Surprise! Samira Wiley And Lauren Morelli Got Married And Everything’s Perfect, by Stef (March 2017) – Still going strong, these two!

That’s So Raven Symoné Actually Got Gay Married, by Carmen (June 2020) – This was really recent so I think they are definitely still all about each other and cuddling every morning.

Wait Did Ellen Page and Emma Portner Just Get Married? WELL, OKAY THEN!, by Stef (January 2018) – Do you think they did like a very severe first dance at their wedding?? I thought about this a lot in January 2018.

Jodie Foster and Alexandra Hedison Got Married, Possibly On the Moon (April 2014), by Laneia – Alexandra Hedison, the ex of legendary boss Ellen DeGeneres and the player of “Dylan” on The L Word, remain a couple, still going strong like the gay royalty they are!

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

First of all, have you had a chance to check out the recap of the (first 25 minutes) of our live Gay Agenda town hall update and q&a? It’s waiting here for you!

All About Lingua Franca

After that, you can check out both of Drew’s pieces on new film Lingua Franca – her review of it as a masterpiece written and directed by plus starring a trans woman, and then her interview of said multitalented trans woman, Isabel Sandoval.

As School Season Begins, Fight for Trans Representation in Public Libraries, by Ada

Also wow, has there ever been a better time to read about trans representation in public libraries? Public libraries are so crucially important and I’m so glad we’re talking about this!

Throwback to Shakedown: LA’s Black Lesbian Strip Club, by Bailey

Did you know that you can WATCH SHAKEDOWN FOR FREE ONLINE? Go do so immediately and then before, during or after read Bailey’s piece!

In the early 2000’s (I’m talking 2002, 2003 when J Lo released her Glo perfume) and long before social media and smartphones cast an abundance of events, Shakedown advertised on DIY flyers and word of mouth. Each event, held at LA’s Club New York, filled up with a majority Black lesbian clientele. Shakedown, the documentary, was shot at a time when what happens in the club stays in the club, sex work was a less acceptable form of work than it is now and the concept of privacy (because smartphones were not so popular) was a serious matter. It’s because of these small details that I feel lucky we are able to watch the film right now for free wherever we are.”

Q & A With Kirsten Harris-Talley, A Queer Black Scorpio Femme and State Rep Candidate, by Anis

We’re all talking about the election right now, and for good reason; when thinking about voting, make sure you know about your local candidates too; their work is vital and their platforms will make a huge difference in your community! For instance, if you live in Washington’s 37th district you could be voting for Kirsten Harris-Talley, who wants to fund midwifery and doula access for incarcerated pregnant folks and expand reproductive healthcare for undocumented people and trans people. Read more about her in this interview!

Culture Of Resistance: Tending The Garden, Ending Grind Culture, by Lala

I’m excited & grateful that so many important conversations are happening right now around rejecting productivity culture and capitalist values around endless overwork; this incredible piece on how “capitalism, white supremacy, and slavery set the conditions and grind culture is a natural result of this collision of harm” is an invaluable part of that discussion!

Social Media Spotlight

Hey, it’s me! Heather! I haven’t done this section in many months for many reasons, but I wanted to hop in here and do it this month because I want to SHARE MY TEAM’S PRAISES FROM ON HIGH WITH YOU.

This essay, by @figwidow, is exquisite. It’s about fatness, community, sex with thin people, sex with fat people. It’s just sublime. https://t.co/gZFwM21nkR

— roxane gay (@rgay) July 21, 2020

Whew. You love us so fucking well. Thank you for seeing us. Thank you. Thank you.

— Janet Mock (@janetmock) July 11, 2020

Team @autostraddle!! Ya’ll are giving me all the feels with this article. Thank you for your continued support! ♥️

— Sara Ramirez 🐜 (@SaraRamirez) August 27, 2020

Thank you Carmen! 💜

— Sara Ramirez 🐜 (@SaraRamirez) August 27, 2020

Graphic Riese made upon noticing that Laneia was not the only one not jumping in our “jumping graphic” for the fundraiser

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION

The nominees for the Autostraddle Gay Emmys — the ones you’re all voting on maybe even on this very day — are picked by the TV team through an intricate voting system. However, the system has flaws.

Riese: is anyone here to play a weird but simple short game with me
i am trying to break some ties here for the gay emmys. in my side doc where i’m keeping track of the winners i have color coded all the ties and so basically i am going to tell you some colors and you are going to pick the colors and that will determine who makes it onto the ballot
Carmen: WAIT WHAT
Chaos!
Riese: hahahahahaha
THE SPEED OF UR RESPONSE
Carmen: lollllll
Riese: is this a terrifying concept
do you…. wanna play….
Carmen: How many ties are there?
Riese: there are 7 categories with ties
some i just expanded to 8 nominees because i thought, why not
do you hate this
do u want me to send you a cute picture of me as a child
Carmen: Wait so there were originally more than seven ties??? omg
Riese: oh yeah there were tons of ties
i don’t want 7 nominees tho bc graphics
it has to be 6 or 8
Carmen: That’s fair
Riese: so some i’m trying to get down to 8, some i’m trying to get down to 6
Carmen: You’re being generous, I would’ve held at 6 and made everyone revote
This is crazy
Riese: hahaha
well i wanna get started on it tonight! because that’s what cool girls do on a tuesday night in west hollywood
and i am a coooool girl
Carmen: Yes that’s what I heard that its very cool to spend your tuesday night in quarantine working on award shows for the gays
Well I do not feel safe picking the colors that determine the futures! I can’t do it.
Riese: !!!!!
Carmen: I’ll let someone else play your gayme
Riese: look into this tiny human’s eyes and tell her you won’t play a game with her when she’s 38

Carmen: RIESEEEEE
You were a very adorable tiny human
Riese: thank you
hm well it’s late in the eastern seabord
@Drew Gregory what r u doing
im going to have to put names in a hat i think
it’s ok
nothing unprofessional to see here
Carmen: LOLLLL
If you make a slimmed down doc with the ties and give everyone one vote, we can just revote in the morning?
And you can start with the categories that aren’t ties?
It’s that… or names in a hat.
These are your choices. These are the days of our lives.
Riese: well actually the other thing is
Carmen: I seriously cannot believe there are so many ties!
Riese: that how many votes a thing gets also is relative to how many of us have SEEN it
so i’m not sure if a revote would be more fair than names in a hat
I’M PUTTING NAMES IN A HAT
actually a bowl
thank you everybody for joining me on this journey
Carmen: democracy
in
action
Riese: yes if anybody wants to see one (1) example of true democracy in 2020
it’s happening right here
Drew: Wait im here let me catch up
Carmen: I’m also here!
I’m just baffled
Drew: Hahaha okay hmm
I could play your game but my controversial opinion is I think you should make conscious choices based on what you think is most deserved on the basis of 1) your opinions, 2) amount of queerness to the show/quality of queer storytelling, and 3) underrepresented identities either in our Emmys or simply the straight Emmys
Carmen: THAT IS NOT IT
My very transparent and democracy based opinion is that we revote
Why are y’all anarchists? WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I vote for hat!
Drew: I guess I believe in a dictatorship !
Mostly it’s just that we haven’t all seen everything eligible! So that’s inherently unfair.
So voting never feels like full democracy
Riese: yeah like that unfairness is baked into it already for the first round so i’m kinda shaking it up for round 2
ok drew
pick one: green, yellow, blue
Carmen: Wait
Drew: Lololol
I am going to hold off picking a color until this matter is discussed further

[RIESE AND CARMEN SIDEBAR FOR TEN MINUTES TO DISCUSS EQUITY IN VOTING AND LAND ON A BETTER PLAN]

Natalie: I’m here so now we’ve got half the team if we want to revote.
Riese: HI NATALIE!
i am preparing a revote document
Natalie: we can get it done quick so that your tuesday nights in west hollywood can still be filled with wonder and amazement!
Riese: :heart:

[20 MINUTES LATER …]

Riese: ok @channel here is the new ballot: for the tie-breakers — gimme an emoji when you’ve made your pics [LINKS TO GOOGLE DOC]

[THE NEXT MORNING]

Valerie: haha i love that riese tried to make you all play a Saw-style game and you all flat-out refused
“why are y’all anarchists”
lolol
Riese: hahahahaha
I JUST WANTED 2 PLAY A FUN GAME WITH MY FRIENDS
Valerie: i would have just picked a color, for future reference. i love chaos.
Riese: IF ONLY
thank you for your retroactive support
Valerie: but everyone made good points overall i suppose lol

XOXO

Team Autostraddle

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