Letter From Your Editors

Hello pumpkins!

Well, it’s been 97 years since last we spoke to you in an A+ Insider, since every day lasts three years now. Happy Halloween by the way, here are some costumes we wore in the past that we’re still pretty stoked about:

We have some news! (This is the bittersweet announcement referenced in last week’s Autostraddle Weekly, btw, for everyone worrying about that.) We’ll soon be sharing this information with the entire website, but for now we’re just telling you. Yvonne Marquez joined the Autostraddle team in 2013, when she was only 22 and had recently finished journalism school at UT-Austin. We fell in love with her application and after talking to her on the phone, offered her a part-time Associate Editor job that evolved into a full-time Senior Editor job in 2014. She’s saved multiple days, kept it mercilessly real, and brought incredible stories to the Autostraddle community we never would’ve thought of, let alone created, without her. This past month, Laneia, Sarah and I had the pleasure of seeing her get married to her long-time girlfriend, Gloria, in Dallas, surrounded by family and friends (including familiar Autostraddle faces like Audrey and Neesha).

November 16th will be her last day at Autostraddle as she seeks fresh challenges in the field of reporting, applying for reporting fellowships, considering grad school, and generally re-evaluating career goals in advance of her Saturn Return.

We are so excited to see what comes next for Yvonne! We are also pleased to inform you that beginning on November 16th, Carmen Phillips will be joining the Senior Editor Team. We first knew Carmen as Autostraddle reader and commenter CP. We were so enamored with her insight and wit that we brought her on to write a little bit about TV, and it became obvious right away that she was willing and able to write about so much more than television. She has crafted some of our most trafficked post of 2018, has gained the attention and respect of nearly every person she’s written about, has made herself an invaluable member of our now wildly successful TV team, has shared a community-building vision with us, has made our work days brighter and more fun — all while earning her PhD in American Studies from New York University. Her generosity and warm spirit are contagious and we are so excited to see what she’ll bring to Autostraddle and the Speakeasy.

As aforementioned, we’ll put a post about this on the mainsite too, so we look forward to everybody being excited about this here and then also there!

Also, we’ve entered into an advertising partnership with Pride Media, so if you’re seeing new ads that seem actually targeted to this community, that’s why! This also means we’re getting decent CPMs on those ads, so if ads don’t bother you and you wanna whitelist us on your adblocker, that would be awesome. Tell your friends!

We hope you have enjoyed this month’s A+ content, I sure have! I wrote about how sex work informed the development of my sexual orientation and y’all were so kind in the comments, we told you about stuff we stole from our ex and also published a very tender wonderful sex diary.

Who knows where we’ll be next month or what fresh hell awaits us! At least we’ll be there… together.

Love,

Riese

co-signed by Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts From September 2018

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. VOTE NOW in Autostraddle’s Inaugural Gay Emmys!, by The TV Team
2. Announcing the Winners of Autostraddle’s Inaugural Gay Emmys!, by The TV Team
3. “A Simple Favor” Really Is a Whole Movie About Anna Kendrick Wanting Blake Lively to Ruin Her Life (Same), by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
4. September 2018 Queer Horoscopes: You Already Know How to Clean Up Your Retrograde Messes, by Corrina
5. Take Autostraddle’s Important Lesbian and Queer Stereotypes Survey!, by Riese
6. MAKE IT GAY, YOU COWARDS: TV Shows That Just Need to Lean Into the Truth, by the TV Team
7. Don Draper vs Jenny Schecter: The Sexist Battle of the TV Anti-Heroes, by Heather Hogan
8. Buffy’s Silent Episode Was an Elegy for Its Gays, by Andrea Long Chu
9. Princess Bubblegum and Marceline Smooch On-Screen, Live Happily Ever After in the “Adventure Time” Series Finale, by Heather Hogan
10. Nine Next-Level Vibrators to Knock Your Own Socks Off With, by Rachel Kincaid

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Heather: this “twitter eliminating the like button” thing is the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard. facebook and twitter keeping doing the most moronic, superfluous shit to pretend they’re addressing the problems of bullying, harassment and kremlin-created propaganda masquerading as news. people don’t want extra identity verification and to lose the like button. they want you to ban the nazis!
Valerie: yup
(see what i did there. i liked it.)
also where am i supposed to get my validation if not from how many likes i get
Heather: lolol right!
Valerie: i guess i can just go back and look at all the screenshots i ever took of famous people ‘liking’ my tweets while i rock back and forth and slowly losing my mind
Heather: drawing hearts with your stylus on your phone in the dark

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Heather: Carmen if you ever wrote something called “how i learned to thirst for sara ramirez” it would break the internet
Carmen: I could never write that because if sara ramirez saw it or read it I would melt into a puddle of mortification

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Laneia: Rachel did you make up ‘gay situationship’
Rachel: as far as I know? idk!
Laneia: COOL
u did now
Rachel: ! thank you i’m honored
Laneia: Rachel your finger was really on the pulse with this one
Rachel: ty
always happy for the opportunity to turn our community’s collective missteps into content

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Yvonne: does anyone know what this means? “Keeping this real brief because it’s vaguely mortifying. Tips for joining the lesbian mile high club?”
Laneia: sex on an airplane
Yvonne: ohhh
idk seems pretty feasible
Heather: my tip is wait until you land, airplane bathrooms are the germ-iest place per square inch on the planet earth!
Laneia: my tip is this is a bad use of the space you’ve rented to get from one city to another with 200 other people
Rachel: you could be spending that time w a sheet mask
airplanes have such dry air
Laneia: flying is a time for drinks and falling asleep reading last month’s bon appetit!
Riese: well
technically you’re supposed to time your trip to the bathroom with the snack/drink cart
so that the flight attendant is blocking anybody’s path to the bathroom while you’re in there having sex
however that being said
lesbians have a distinct advantage in that you can usually fuck somebody you are sitting next to. so you should sit in a two-seat row, and get a blanket or a hoodie or whatever
and go to town
::takes a bow::
Heather: lol the most on brand answers ever

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Heather: old people grudges are amazing. my great aunt cannot remember what she ate for breakfast but she can remember bonnie cheating her at canasta in 1986 and refusing to apologize.
that’s absolutely true about local politics
Rachel: I think all the time about the abuelita in odaat being like ‘i will never forgive my sister for what she did’
and cannot remember what it is she did
Heather: yes! that’s it!
Rachel: it really is exactly like that
Heather: there’s a fresh off the boat story like that too!
Rachel: my grandmother lived her entire life 100% sure that the italian woman across the street was trying to sleep with my grandfather
Heather: god i hope when i’m 100 i remember why i hate [PERSON]
Rachel: this can be when I carried you, heather
I will be there when you’re ailing to remind you why you hate [PERSON]
it will be like the lesbian digital media Notebook
Heather: rachel that’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me
i am _honored_
Rachel: for you, anything

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Riese: how does why does [redacted] invite me to things literally the day before the thing
do people really just like fly by the seat of their pants out here
Laneia: yes they do PEOPLE ARE CRAZY
Riese: aren’t they busy? like don’t people plan out their weeks ahead of time? this never ceases to amaze me
like how [redacted] wanted me to just pick up and go meet with [redacted] the day of
do ppl just sit around and wait for phone calls to take them to meetings? how does anybody live or sleep???
Laneia: i think
Heather: nothing makes me angrier than someone asking me to do something THAT DAY, IN PERSON
Laneia: that people are dressed at 7am and can therefore be moved to appear somewhere new throughout the day w/out much notice
i am not dressed at 7am
Riese: yeah i need like a week ahead of time heads-up
Heather: that you could leave your house for five hours and then not have to stay up all night catching up on work
Laneia: and like aren’t they in offices? maybe once you’ve gotten to an office you can go anywhere
Heather: maybe also if there are like 25 people all pulling their weight
it’s okay if one person is gone for a day
Riese: yeah i guess they’re in offices so it’s easier to pick up and do something from an office, but also like… are their days not already planned out? that’s the thing that confuses me most
Laneia: yesterday my hairstylist couldn’t believe i was going back to work after getting my hair done
Rachel: is it like in tv shows where they have an assistant they can tell ‘cancel my afternoon’
Laneia: yes
!
Rachel: it always stresses me out when they do that on tv
what happens to those appointments
Laneia: it’s a tragedy

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Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Chingy, Contributing Writer

Twitter: @TheGayChingy
Instagram: @TheGayChingy

What would be your superpower and why?
Ever since I was a nerdy little baby, I just always wanted to be the femme version of Nightcrawler from The X-Men. As a bottom who can’t drive and living in Los Angeles with a lot of wanderlust [and regular lust], teleportation would really cut down on my travel expenses. But also I want the blue skin, prehensile tail, three fingers because it’s hot. Every time I start to get serious with someone new, I always ask “would you still want me if I looked like Nightcrawler?” That’s how you know if you got a real one.

Also there’s the whole thing of me growing up as a genderfuck-y queer woman who never passed as straight or normal, which made me relate a lot to Nightcrawler and how he overcame other people’s hatred of him by being really talented and deeply charming, but let’s NOT get into how I process my trauma through comic book characters, okay?

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?
There is a thirsty answer and a not thirsty answer. I’ll give you both.

Thirsty Answer where the dinner party very swiftly turns into a hedonistic gay orgy is Margaret Cho, Alia Shawkat, Shea Coulee, and Jennifer Tilly. All of them have a catalogue of work I respect and seem down and toppy. I considered Frances Conroy or Christina Hendricks, but definitely wanted to keep this a PoC only affair.

Non-Thirsty Answer where it’s just a really nice dinner party and the poppers and ring gag stay in my nightstand is Margaret Cho, Alia Shawkat, Shea Coulee, and Billy Eichner. Not much different! Just a group of funny talented beautiful people whose work I admire and that I think would make good, drama-free company. My life is on too specific an axis and I don’t want to have awkward conversations where some dead person like Marlene Dietrich unwittingly slut-shames me or call my mother’s side of the family “Oriental.”

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on:
I honestly don’t remember any notably awful dates, but I do remember the worst hookup I ever had. I was 18, fresh out of high school, and it was my first visit to San Francisco (where I would later live). I went out to see this play called “F.A.G.G.O.T.S The Musical” with some masc I probably met off tumblr. The date was cute, but all I can remember of when we got back to their place was them being WAY. TOO. TENDER. If you can picture how someone would romantically dry hump to Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This,” you’re in the ballpark. So I said “You know, you don’t have to be so gentle with me.” They whispered, “I know. I want to,” into my ear and I instantly dried up and screamed internally.

What’s your best pickup line?
In all honesty, pickup lines are cheesy and should only ever be used ironically and after you’ve already started talking. Like, if I really want to get with someone, I will just be direct and say, “Hi you are really hot. I like your glasses. Do you want to rim me in the bathroom?” But on the subject of some choice joke-y lines I’ve used that have worked for me before:

“Get out of my face and into my holes.”
“Those are some great boots/heels, but I feel like they’d look a lot better on my throat/in my mouth.”
*while wearing a shirt that says “I Would Bottom You So Hard”* “I’m a top.”
“I have Mommy Issues.”
“Hey do you think pee is vanilla?”

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Either Lucy Liu, Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal, or Sabrina from Pokemon when she turned Brock and Misty into dolls.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
I’m proud of a lot for once. I moved back to LA a year ago to focus more on my career and less on my personal life, and in that time I’ve made so much growth as a writer/actor, gotten to support myself with my creativity and by working production for the porn company that helped create the pervert I am, and have had my relationships multiplied and strengthened. It’s so hard for me to process that I’m actually making the right choices for myself, but I can’t deny what’s in front of me.

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What We’ve Been Reading

Vanessa: The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning by Maggie Nelson

Heather: Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki

Laneia: BraveTart by Stella Parks

Natalie: Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger by Rebecca Traister

Carrie: Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger by Rebecca Traister and Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Casey: My Favorite Things Is Monsters, Vol 1 by Emil Farris and Give Me Your Hand by Megan Abbott

Stef: Catapult Stories by Emily Fridlund

Alexis: Final Girls by Riley Sager

Carmen: Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger by Rebecca Traister, and Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittney Cooper

Riese: Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

Bren: Surveying for California Civil PE License by Dr. Shahin A. Mansour

Valerie Anne: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Al(aina):Left of Karl Marx: The Political Life of Black Communist Claudia Jones by Carol Boyce Davie

Rachel: Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead, by Sara Gran

Tiara: Never Stop to Think… Do I Have a Place for This by Mary Randolph Carter

Raquel: How To Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee

Molly: American Gods / Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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MEET AN EDITOR’S PET!

Get to know some of our staff’s pets. Today we’ll get to know more about Rachel’s cat Momo!

What’s your favorite food (includes human food)?
I am only ever given one (1) kind of food, which is Fromm’s Surf & Turf (Grain Free!!) and which I have to physically paw out of the bowl piece by piece and eat off of the floor or else I’ll starve!!!! Sometimes though when I see my grandma she’ll put empty cans of tuna on the ground for me to lick, and I REALLY like that.

What’s your most perfect sleeping scenario?
Ideally directly on top of my mom’s sternum, at 4 in the morning, which is just enough weight that she can still breathe but also feels like she’s caught in an extremely tiny vise. If that isn’t an option because she is OUT of the BED (NOT ideal), I will also take sleeping on my mom’s lap while she’s trying to work, or something that smells like my mom, like her sweater or pillow.

If you could have a home on the beach, near mountains, or in a lush forest, which would you pick and why?
I don’t know what any of those things are!! I like murdering bugs and do NOT like when squirrels scratch at the window. Is there a place with more bugs and less squirrels.

Would you say you’ve seen a ghost?
YES it was a ghost a mouse. I saw one of those last week and tried to murder it!!

Which fictional cat do you look up to and why?
None! I should be the only cat. Definitely the only cat my mom knows but also maybe the only cat! Think about it.

What do you wish you could say to your mom?
Sometimes when she’s cuddling me my mom will ask “Why are you so small? How did you get so small?” and I would like to be able to tell her that I really don’t know.

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YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO IS ON THIS WEEK’S QUEERY PODCAST

Heather: Riese are you excited to help write a headline for a post about your own self?
“Let Cameron Esposito and Riese Bernard Brighten Your Gay Day on This Week’s Queery”
Riese: Heather to be honest i am not excited to help write a headline for a post about my own self
but i do love you
regardless
Heather: i know, i know. :disappointed:
i love you too!
Riese: i think that headline could be condensed a bit
but idk how
Heather: okay i will do it! i will do this thing!
Riese: i think you don’t need my last name probably, for starters
Heather: i just thought for seo purposes having your full name with cameron’s would be good for you
i also thought if people start typing “cameron esposito and r” they might get you instead of rhea
:blanche:
help me Laneia! i see you trying to help me!
Laneia: something about like all your favorite things smashing together for an hour
i’m trying to make it sound vaguely sexual to awaken the libido on this dreary thursday
you know
Riese: hm do people ever google “Riese bernard”
i feel like they google “Riese Autostraddle”
Heather: i
am positive they do!
Riese: hm
Laneia: people google me ya dingaling they’re definitely googling you and your whole name
Riese: 
afraid to see where “Riese bernard girlfriend” lands us tbh
Heather: bernardi Riese
Laneia: Riese Bernard and Cameron Esposito Unite in this Week’s Queery Podcast
:eyes:
Riese: i do honestly feel like we don’t need the bernard!!!
Heather: :blanche:
Laneia: Marie Lyn ‘Riese’ Bernard and Cameron Somebody Come Together for an Hour on This Week’s Queery Podcast
Riese: YOU’RE TRYING TO MURDER ME
Laneia: this lil’ google doodle dude is growing on me
Riese: 
noodles
is my question here
Laneia: the fuck
Heather: i knew a great dog named noodles once!
Riese: 
what is the plural Laneias i wonder
Heather: offended there’s no “Laneia cheese plate”
Riese: THIS BITCH [linked to the instagram of laneias marie]
Laneia: wait it’s PRIVATE and she has 34.5K followers???
WHAT IS SHE DOING
Heather: naked stuff i bet
Riese: yeah def naked stuff
Heather: Riese and Cameron Esposito Come Together on This Week’s Queery
Riese: “come together”
Heather
HEATHER
Heather: Laneia wanted it to be sexy
Riese: hahahaha
Laneia: Riese and Cameron Make Heavy Petting Sounds Against Your Eardrums
Riese: wow guys
wow!
Heather: Sexy ASMR With Riese and Cameron: a Podcast
Rachel: can we call it Riese Bernard Cameron Esposito Pregnancy Rumor
Laneia: Are Riese and Cameron Doing It? Find Out for Yourself on This Week’s Queery
Riese: Cameron Tells Riese Absolutely Nothing About Her Breakup In This Week’s Queery
Laneia: that is the most autostraddley headline
Heather: Riese and Cameron Esposito, Together at Last on This Week’s Queery
okay i have to publish this so i can do riverdale!
Riese and Cameron Esposito [SOMETHING SOMETHING] on This Week’s Queery
Laneia: i like it
Heather: okay!
Laneia: not that one the other one
Heather: Riese and Cameron Esposito, Together at Last on This Week’s Queery
Laneia: you know what i mean
yes
Heather: i do!
thank you Laneia
Riese: Riese and Cameron Esposito Warm Your Ears on This Week’s Queery
Heather: okay! that’s better!
Riese: “Together at Last” sounds weird i think!
Laneia: warm my ears???!
what

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SLACKERS

When Slack added the option to create custom emojis, Yvonne’s face is the first face we put in there. I’m not sure what was going in that day, just that the senior editors were all feeling angry and there was a photo of Yvonne that had surfaced in which she looked suuuuper pissed. And so :yvonne-angry: was born into the world. It was always a little weird that the Yvonne face emoji wasn’t a happy emoji; she has the kind of smile that would cause sailors to crash their ships into the rocks if she were a mermaid. But necessity is the mother of emoji invention and here we are. A year or so later, Laneia asked me (Heather) to make an emoji of Yvonne’s dog, Tungi, for her birthday. And so I did! Here are some of their appearances over the years. Long may they live!

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October Retro-Reading: Yvonne Marquez Tribute Edition

In honor of Yvonne’s last month here at Autostraddle, highlights from her 5-year career with us!

La Virgen de Guadalupe: Brown Goddess in My Heart Forever (2013) – “For me now, La Virgen de Guadalupe subverts the Catholic Church, machismo, the very image of the Virgin Mary by being indígena, mestiza. She is a woman deity that I get to worship in the way that I want. She is queer.”

Idol Worship: Selena, Queen of Tejano Music (2013) – A key moment in the history of the world was when Yvonne dressed as Selena for an A-Camp sing-a-long activity. Stef has never been happier.

Taco Tuesday: Finding Home Again (2015) – The whole Taco Tuesday series is so good, but it started here, with an evocation of food that feels like home. An intimate and grounded journey from a kid in the valley to a college student in Austin to a journalist in Dallas.

Read A F*cking Book Club: A Conversation With Gabby Rivera About “Juliet Takes A Breath” (2016) – I love this book and both of these women and the conversation they had about it — and about holding each other accountable, authentically representing Latinx culture and honoring the matriarchy.

Southwest of Salem: How Four Wrongfully Convicted Latina Lesbians Survived A Witch-Hunt (2016) – I’ve been aware of this case for what feels like my entire life, and this was an insightful and darkly astonishing interview.

How Queer and Trans Women Are Healing Each Other After Hurricane Harvey (2017) – Incredible real live actual journalism went into this piece, and I’m proud to have published it on this here website.

Meet One Day at a Time’s Lesbian Writers, Becky Mann and Michelle Badillo (2017) – Three Latinx lesbians talking about making one of the most celebrated sitcoms of the 21st century, who could ask for anything more.

La Boda Jota #4: Loving Another Queer Latina Is A Radical Act (2018) – I read this resonate, heartrending essay while waiting in line at security to get on the plane to go to Yvonne’s wedding. I teared up!

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We’ve Got Spirit

Laneia:: *thursday is spirit day* :purple_heart: and to celebrate we’re going to put up a bunch of pictures on instagram of our writers and staff members wearing purple!!!!!!! *so DM me with a square photo of you looking cute in purple by tuesday night!* (edited)
Carmen: We are very much celebrating the gay holidays this year! I’m into it.
Stef: i don’t want to blow your mind but i don’t think i own anything purple
i’ll see what i can do
Kaelyn: I will wear my freshly-laundered Lavender Menace shirt proudly, which I just triple-washed not for extra softness, but because I got Butt Paste on it and that zinc oxide stuff does not want to come out of fabrics.
Audrey: Do I want to know what butt paste is?
Kaelyn: It’s a diaper ointment. lol For baby butts.
I realize that was not immediately apparent in this forum
It’s actually Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. It’s a semi-cult-ish brand that I swear by after being failed by Organic brands and coconut oil for diaper rash.
Heather: Kaelyn i read “I realize that was not immediately apparent in this forum” as “I realize that was not immediately apparent in this fandom” like “remi fandom” and i loved it so much.
Stef: def part of the remi fandom
Heather: same!
Vanessa: I’m in the Remi Fandom also!
Carmen: Should the photo have a filter? Should it be what Kayla calls “a thirst trap”? How do you Instagram people balance all of this everyday?
Stef: from what i understand everything should always be a thirst trap?
Sarah: 100% if you feel you want to trap people’s thirst please do it!
Carmen: Aye Aye Captain!
Vanessa: Stef that’s correct
Also this convo is correct, love u Carmen
I meant to write “the best” but I wrote “correct” instead and that’s fine
Also also, if you ever get butt chafe as an adult that specific brand of butt paste is THE BEST
just FYI
Happy Monday

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Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

Having Too Many: How Queer Family Helps Heal My Relationship to Food, by Jay

I am just head over heels with this smart, loving essay on family, food and complicated relationships with both. Also it makes me want to eat macarons a lot! Jay is such a warm and engaged member of the AS community and I’m so grateful for this piece!

Julia Weldon’s Comatose Hope Captures the Anger and Catharsis of Being a Non-binary Artist, by Al(aina)

The world is a terrible place, but I bet listening to Julia Weldon’s new album would make it a little better! This interview Al(aina) did with them will make you even more excited about it!

Escaping Eden: Finding Lilith in Queerness, by Aliza

Lilith is such a fascinating and multifaceted figure (and topical, if you’re watching the new Sabrina (mild spoiler alert sorry!)). I loved this deep and personal dive into Lilith’s history and queerness, and I think you will too!

Finding Roots Without Hiding my Rainbow, by Stasia

This essay is so quietly beautiful, every time I reread it I’m lightly haunted for hours afterward thinking about sticky heat and the complex dovetailing of the past with the present. Chill! It’s the end of October, the veil is thin, go ahead and dive in.

We Could Be Heroes, by Malinda Lo

HelLO exCUSE me did you see that we published a NEW PIECE OF FICTION from MALINDA LO? With ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATIONS? It has LESBIANS IN IT. It’s a new piece of short fiction by Malinda Lo about married lesbians!!! Also it’s very tender and sweet and about the tiny micro-fissures in a love and a marriage, and how those can pull you apart or make you stronger when things get weird and scary. I’m so excited we published this! Please go read it right now thank you.

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Carolyn’s Pick of the Month: Black Licorice Toothpaste

Marvis Licorice Mint Toothpaste is the best thing that’s ever happened to my oral hygiene. I don’t usually love brushing my teeth because does anyone honestly, and I know that an electric toothbrush would make it better but I’m not out here trying to own a lot of things. Since finding this aesthetic hipster goth toothpaste a few weeks ago, I want to brush my teeth easily five or six times a day, which is leaning a little hard in the opposite direction but I don’t care. It’s delicious. (It’s also fluoride-free, so pair with a mouthwash with fluoride in it.)

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Social Media Spotlight

This month’s social media spotlight shall shine upon of our all-time favorite hashtags: #TungiPups

View this post on Instagram

They’re so fun ❤️ #tungipups

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Nov 25, 2017 at 11:36am PST

View this post on Instagram

My son is so photogenic, it's ridiculous. #bluebonnets #texas #tungipups

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Apr 5, 2017 at 3:26pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

So majestic. So regal. So lion. #happyhalloween #tungipups

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Oct 31, 2015 at 12:05pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

You haven’t lived until you’ve seen your 85lb dog in a Nemo life vest swimming in Barton Springs to fetch his ball. I’m so proud of my son. #tungipups Next time we’re bringing a unicorn floatie though.

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Jul 24, 2018 at 9:13pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

The birthday princesses with their pastelitos 💗🎂#tungipups

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Jan 30, 2017 at 7:23pm PST

View this post on Instagram

"Sometimes, when I'm at work, I daydream of napping with #tungipups."- @gloriapoderosa #latergram

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Oct 21, 2015 at 6:36pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

October is the best month. #fallintexas 🍂🌵🍂#tungipups

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Oct 1, 2017 at 2:07pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

#tbt me and #tungipups when we were babies

A post shared by Yvonne (@queertejana) on Oct 8, 2015 at 10:26am PDT

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Lesbian Hands

Laneia: riese help me title this aaa so i can go freak out about this surgery!
finger length proves you’re gay
go
Riese: what does the study actually say
Laneia: The L Word Prophecy Was Correct
The study observed that in 18 sets of female twins, the lesbian twin had more ‘male-typical’ hands than her straight sister.
there isn’t even a fucking link to the study in this link that i have from the links channel
Riese: You should link to our roundtable about finger length in the AAA too
Laneia: 2016! we’ve known erin for so long
Riese: It’s True, Your Finger Length Points To Your Homosexuality Says Alleged Science
Laneia: THANK U I LOVE U

[…]

Laneia: is naomi from skins funny
is a supergirl screencap funnier WHAT IS FUNNY

wow there are a LOT of finger references in supergirl screencaps
whatever you ever do on this planet please swear to me that you’ll never image search “the l word finger test”
Riese: hahaha
naomi from skins is not funny cuz she’s dead
Laneia: :disappointed:
:white_frowning_face:
Riese: that supergirl screencap is not a picture of a lesbian
but it’s a good screencap
Laneia: for fingers! it sure is
Riese: lesbian character with hands what do you think

Laneia: who is this i love her
want her pants
Riese: franky
those are prison pants
in australian prison they wear turquoise pants and hoodies
Laneia: omfg remember cigarettes
those were so good
i am on unsplash and their fingers have cigarettes in them ANYWAY

but i will use your lesbian character if you’d rather!!!!
Riese: i think my lesbian character would do better
would attract more hearts & eyeballs
Laneia: mostly i’m in a sink drain of how nothing matters at all ever?? and isn’t it so funny and terrible etc but listen, that’s why you are here
wait are you sure it’s better than this:

Heather: wait waaaaait
i know the ultimate lesbian character finger picture
i am getting out of bed, hang on
Laneia: here is where my heart is, is all i’m saying

look, hands

i hope you all know that i am jk af and just waiting for heather hogan to wow me
MEM OIR TIT LE
Heather: this is emily fitch trying to figure out if she fucked the girl she just woke up next to

however i think franky is better, upon looking at them both!
Laneia: !!!!!!
Heather: 

Laneia: HEATHER while you are here can you pls see my latest msg in links!
it is a question
Heather: i’m sorry laneia, i don’t know if she was gay. it seems really likely.

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XOXO

Team Autostraddle