Letter From Your Editors

Hello heart-shaped boxes!

The original publish date for this Insider was the 16th, which would’ve been HOT on the heels of Valentine’s Day, for which we created you this collage of beautiful hearts:

1st row: Alexis, Audrey, Carmen, Carrie, Casey, Erin & Carol
2nd row: Davidson, Heather, KaeLyn, Laura, Mey, Molly
3rd row: Laneia, Rachel, Raquel, Reneice, Riese, Sarah
4th row: Stef, Tiara, Valerie Ann, Vanessa, Yvonne, Abeni

Wow so much has happened since last we spoke. For example, A-Camp registration opened and filled up in a matter of mere days! The “campership essays + request for donations” post won’t go up ’til later this week but we’ve already had tons of donations— including a couple who can’t make it to camp this year mailing us a check so somebody else can, a camper earmarking her funds (and frequent flier miles) for a trans woman to get to camp, and another designating their campership donation for a queer black camper specifically. We’ve learned so much from the last nine camps and are so excited about this year’s team and special guests — we’re gonna be bringing in some kickass guest facilitators and just added Kim Milan to the roster to head up some Racial Justice programming. I’m consistently awed and inspired by the incredible generosity of our community. Thanks weirdos.

We’re all friends here so we can be honest about our epic failure at A+ content this month, which has impacted our new member sign-up rate. But luckily somebody has been pulling her weight and that’s Kristin: she invited Rhea Butcher into her bed, had an afternoon romp with Erin in her bed and made actual food with Reneice! Also, we successfully climbed the mountain that is the 17th edition of Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us.

On March 9th, Autostraddle will celebrate its 9th birthday. We’re gearing up for an A+ membership drive, aiming for 500 new sign-ups within the next six months, bringing us to 3,000 paid members. We’ve been gradually raising staff writer payments over the last six months and hope to do more of that, and we’re still aiming to hit that goal of hiring another Senior Editor of color to our team, but we came up against another expense last month that has set us back a bit. Until now, the senior staff has been surviving either without health care, with an overpriced ACA plan, or via our partners’ insurance. But this year, due to some breakups and partner job changes as well as Donald Trump’s plan to destroy the ACA by making it both obscenely expensive and inclusive of fewer health care providers — we came to a fork in the road (as we so often do) where either we shut down the site or we figure out how to provide health care to our full-time employees. Almost all of us have pre-existing conditions and/or regularly take prescription medication. It was a daunting and complicated process, with every single one of us in a different state, but despite the expense, it feels really f*cking good to be able to do this for the six women who work 50-60 hours a week on Autostraddle and A-Camp and have done so for so long, for so very little. I’d like to thank Gusto, which has made so many elements of our work possible, and you, for the same reason!

In other news: my dog, Carol Aird Tinkerbell Junior Bernard Spiegelman Sullivan, is THRIVING. We’re obsessed with Emma Gonzalez and want to interview her very badly. Sarah is trying to learn how Double Click works so we can be better at running ads, but it’s hard. We’ve re-launched the Autostraddle Newsletter and DAMN it looks HOT and you should sign up. Also, we did staff surveys this month to find out more about how our writers are doing and it was so helpful and they’re all so great.

In conclusion, I feel like the U.S. should ban the sale of assault weapons! Just an idea I had.

Love,

Riese

Co-signed by Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From January 2018

These posts were hella popular this month.

Y’all, I hate it when the top posts of the month are about tragic things, ’cause it feels so tacky to call it “popular.” But it’s also good that people are sharing and spreading these stories because we need to be aware of them. But I didn’t put them in the graphic b/c that felt weird.

1. Black Lesbian Kerrice Lewis, 23, Shot and Burned Alive in Washington DC, by Riese
2. 36-Year-Old Black Lesbian and 11-Year-Old Daughter Murdered in West Palm Beach, by Riese
3. 25 Pictures Technically Not of Lesbian Sex According to Stock Photography, by Riese
4. Amilyn Holdo and Leia Organa Were Dating in “The Last Jedi” and You Can’t Convince Me Otherwise, by Kayla
5. Satellite of Love: Queer Horoscopes for January 2018, by Corrina
6. “Lizzie” Review: Kristen Stewart and Chloë Sevigny Have Hot Barn Sex, Axe-Murder a Man Together, by Sarah Fonseca
7. 65 Queer and Feminist Books To Read In 2018, by Carolyn Yates
8. 38 Inspirational Ways You Weirdos Described Your “Types”, by Alaina Monts
9. Wait Did Ellen Page and Emma Portner Just Get Married? WELL, OKAY THEN!, by Stef Schwartz
10. Style Thief: How to Dress Like Riverdale’s Jughead Jones, by Molly Ostertag

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Heather: 17 TV Lesbians No One Should Have Dated
1. Emily Fields
her wake of destruction was worse than shane. at least shane’s girlfriends didn’t all DIE
Valerie: “But did you DIE?!”
Heather: if i’m being real with myself
2. carol
HOWEVER
it worked out
3. bette porter
(sorry my beloved bette, who turned a generation gay)
4. marissa cooper
wait i am redoing my #1 and it’s piper chapman
Valerie: Oooof yes
Heather: there are worse things than dying

Chloe: ok who sent me an autostraddle email address request for kristen stewart
i’m eyeing you, @Stef
Stef: it was actually not me
Maybe it was her
Chloe: that would be quite a turn of events
current email: kstew@galpal.com
requested email: kstew@autostraddle.com
Stef: o m g
at last
she’s coming to join us

Robin: if we had a nail station at the all-day thing I feel like vanessa would do nails, I can think of a few staff that are probably good at it that would do it for like an hour or two
Riese: oh, i can
do nails
Marni: kyle could probably do nails
Riese: i did everybody’s nails at a portland party
Marni: maybe katie
Riese: AHEM
i’m good at it!
Marni: kaylah maybe
Marni: “i did everybody’s nails at a portland party”
Riese: i did!
Marni: that reads like a euphemism

Molly: ash wednesday falls on valentine’s day this year, so
ash day
Alaina: i’m excited for every christian to be thinking about death that day
because i think about death every valentines day
so it only feels fair

Heather: i got a hot tip that there is a queer woman who is “a prominent character, if not the lead” of a new Netflix show titled Everything Sucks!
Carmen: Oh that’s their 90s themed sitcom!
(ok, I’m going back to my BL cave. But that’s exciting!)
Riese: What!
that show pinged for me but i combed through their materials and couldn’t locate info on it
on the queer i knew had to be lurking
Heather: i just asked for screeners!
Riese: when does it premiere
this is exciting
EVERYTHING’S COMING UP LESBIANS AND DAFFODILS
EXCEPT NOT BUTCH LESBIANS
BLAHHHH
Heather: feb 16
Valerie: i’d read a book called “everything’s coming up lesbians and daffodils: except not buch lesbians blahhhh”

Yvonne: i don’t know who this is? i’m sorry! is this problematic or not? i love my job

Riese: ilene chaiken
Laneia: it’s ilene!
Heather: ilene chaiken
Yvonne: LOLLLLL
Heather: hahahahaha
Yvonne: sorry i will resign tomorrow
Laneia: now quickly rinse her from your mind
Heather: yvonne this is the best valentine i could ever be given
i hope you forget her face immediately

Laneia: ~imagine a muppet running into the room
arms waving
I’VE MOVED THE INSIDER TO TUESDAY !!!!!!!!
muppet collapses~
Sarah: ~ muppet reanimates “I INTEND TO MAKE ALL THE GRAPHICS I OWE YOU IN THE NEXT FIVE HOURS” muppet collapses ~
Laneia: office muppet is putting in some hours today

Laneia: interjection: we need an a+ roundtable for feb
Heather: i think riese said sex music isn’t a+ enough
Laneia: COOL cool ok
“the most horrific way your body is aging now that you’re over 30”
this is literally all i’m thinking about these days
Riese: That’s my favorite topic!
Heather: What Happened To My Eyes: A Roundtable
Laneia: i wouldn’t know which is the most horrific tbh
If I’m Still Me, Then How Is This My Neck
Heather: Are My HANDS Wrinkled
Peptides: A Barely Visible Journey
Riese: How Much Farther Can My Face Keep Sagging Until It Becomes My Waist
YES Tanning Was A Bad Idea You Were Right Sorry
Laneia: I Didn’t Believe Them: A 37 Year Old Comes to Terms with Her Ass

Heather: did one of y’all send me and stacy some cat grooming gloves? they came today from Amazon and we can’t figure out who sent them! thank you, if so. dobby loves them.
Vanessa: Omg heather. I love this story a lot.
Heather: i wish i knew who sent it! stacy thinks someone is trying to murder us! (i’m like “…with very specific kindness?”)
Stef: maybe dobby ordered them
Cameron: Didn’t dobby order nachos too?
Heather: quasar ordered nachos!
Cameron: they’re learning.
logistics question: if dobby is the one who ordered grooming gloves and you give them to him anyway, is dobby still a free cat?
Heather: that’s why gave him socks the cat, so he would always be free

Stef: hello my ex girlfriend is sad there is no picture of us in the roundtable, is it possible to add one
Laneia: do you want to go in and add it
do you have that kind of raw power
Stef: i don’t think i have the ability to do that anymore? my wordpress permissions changed suddenly a while ago
let me see
yep i can’t edit posts that aren’t mine anymore
Laneia: on it
Stef: bless you
Laneia: it will take just a moment as someone else is currently in the post
Stef: look at all of you, hanging out in the post
enjoying your post privilege

Kayla: I COMPLETELY MISSED THE CHARMED NEWS OH MY GODDDD
THIS IS COMING FROM A PERSON WITH A CAT NAMED PIPER
Valerie: my parents and i still use ‘orb’ as a verb

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Abeni Jones, Staff Writer

Twitter: @Abeni_jones
Instagram: @Abeni.jones
Website: abenijones.net
Patreon: patreon.com/abenijones

If were in a girl group (like the Spice Girls), what would it be called? Who would be in the group?
I wouldn’t be in a girl group, I’d be a solo artist, and my name would be Carly Bae Jepsen. Or Tranny Oakley.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on:
The worst was with this masc girl who visited me at work on our first date after we met on Tinder. I worked in the little kitchen in the back of a bar. When she got there, she complained that I didn’t inform her that the bar was cash only, so she had to use the ATM. Then she seemed upset that I had to work and couldn’t just sit and talk to her (it was slow, so I was able to sit and chat 70% of the time and once in a while had to make food for a customer). Once I made a meal and gave it to a customer, she complained that I didn’t make her any food. I asked her what she meant, and she pointed at the menu. I don’t get food comped for friends, and told her, and she seemed salty about it. So I went to the back and made some egg rolls, which are simple and fast and cheap (I had to pay for them out of my pay). When I made them, she wasn’t appreciative and implied that they weren’t good. Toward the end of my shift, I had to clean up the kitchen area and do dishes, etc., which was going to take an hour, so I said goodnight to her. She asked if I could come over after my shift (it was about 11pm at the time) and I said it was unlikely since I’d be tired after doing all of the cleanup. An hour later, when my shift was finally over, she texted me again asking for me to come over. :disappointed: I said no and then blocked her number.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Mandy Moore in “A Walk to Remember!” I was a Christian boy at the time and she seemed like the perfect girl.

What’s the last show you binge watched?
Living Single! I’m still in the first season though.

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose?
Toni Morrisson, Laverne Cox, Marsha P. Johnson, and Kwame Ture

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
I have been accepted to every conference for which I’ve proposed a workshop. I’m going to be presenting at at least 5 workshops around the country this year!

HEY HEY HEY Your Valentine’s Day Lesbian Sex Is About to Go OFF

Riese: we really need to get lesbian into that headline or queer or something, to make it specific
or like a reference to girlfriends or something
ideally “lesbian sex” for SEO
Sarah: I agree with you
Riese: “Lesbian Sex Enthusiasts, Here’s Your Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide”… or something
anybody have ideas
Laneia: hahahaha i love this it’s so weirdly clinical
Riese: or Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide For Lesbian Sex Enthusiasts
Laneia: Fans of Lesbian Sex Will Lose Their Minds Over These Valentine’s Day Sex Toys
Sarah: Do You Like Sex? Are You A Lesbian? Here Are Some Things For Your interests
Laneia: Your Lesbian Sex Could Use Some Valentine’s Day Toys
Yvonne: Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide For Hotter Lesbian Sex
Laneia: YAAAAAHHH
Sarah: WHEW YVONNE
Laneia: maybe hot though, so vanillas aren’t like WAIT OUR SEX IS HOT TOO
or am i brainwashed here
Sarah: :rotating_light::rotating_light::rotating_light:
Riese: Valentine’s Sex Day Sex Toy Sex Gift Sex Guide For Sexy Lesbian Sex
what’s another word for “hotter” / “hot”
Heather: Commercial Love Holiday Sex Toys For Lesbian and Bisexual and Otherwise Queer-Identified Women, Which You Can Buy Or Not, The Way You Are Having Sex (Or Not Having Sex) Is Fine
Laneia: mind-blowing which i hate
Heather: p. solid headline work from me today
Sarah: Ahahaha Heather
Riese: Mind-Altering
Prodigious
Incredible
Sarah: Celestial
Laneia: i like incredible OMG SARAH
Riese: Monumental
Stupendous
Tremendous
Colossal
Herculean
Heather: Colossal!
Laneia: like the koolaid man of lesbian sex
what about Championship Lesbian Sex
Heather: Buzzy Lesbian Sex
Laneia: How Many Orgasms Do You Want This Valentine’s Day?
Heather: !
Riese: Like the Kool-Aid Man of Lesbian Sex
Sarah: fifty shades of fine honey, we can try whipsssss
Heather: Do You Want a Kool-Aid Man Amount of Lesbian Sex Orgasms This Valentine’s Day?
Laneia: !
Riese: How Many Orgasms Do You Want This Valentine’s Day? But Also If You Don’t Want Orgasms That’s Fine, Sex Is More Than Just Orgasms
Heather: Whether Or Not You Have a Lesbian Sex Orgasm Is Literally Up To You Due To These Sex Toy Deals
Laneia: Your Valentine’s Day Lesbian Sex Is About to Go OFF
Heather: Jughead’s Favorite Lesbian Sex Toys Are On Sale
Riese: People Are Talking About How Hot Your Lesbian Sex could Be
Laneia: Get In Here For the Best Lesbian Sex Valentine’s Day Toys Bisexual
Yvonne: omgg
i’m dying
Riese: Turn an Invisible Femme Into a Visible Femme with These Lesbian Sex Toys
Sarah: JUGHEAD hahah
Laneia: How to Be a Good Valentine’s Day Lesbian Sex Ally
Laneia: LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK WHO CAN’T HEAR YOUR ORGASM THIS VALENTINE’S DAY
Sarah: Surprise your Lesbian Sex Girlfriend Partner with Lesbian Sex that includes Sex Toys This Valentines Day
Riese: Papa Can You Hear Me? It’s V-Day and I’m Having Lesbian Sex
Heather: omg
Sarah: lmao
I like the promise of Yvonne’s headline
Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide For Hotter Lesbian Sex
Riese: Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide For Spectacular Lesbian Sex This Ash Wednesday
Sarah: I think it’s persuasive and gooooood
Riese: Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Gift Guide For Even Hotter Lesbian Sex, If You Can Believe It
Laneia: YES
Heather: perfect
Sarah: Ya!
Riese: ok i am done and out and very scared of the penguin suction toy

What We’ve Been Reading

Natalie: The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish

Heather: The Girl in the Tower by Katherine Arden

Stef: We Are Never Meeting In Real Life by Samantha Irby

Carolyn: Heroines by Kate Zambreno (I know this is more of a list place than a review place but I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK, on how women modernist writers were creatively suffocated in their marriages, thank you for your time.)

Riese: Somebody With a Little Hammer, by Mary Gaitskill

Casey: This Wound Is A World by Billy-Ray Belcourt and The Party Wall by Catherine Leroux

Rachel: When They Call You A Terrorist, by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele

Tiara: A whole bunch of zines from Melbourne writers via Sticky Institute’s Festival of the Photocopier 2018

Heather Davidson: Soviet Space Dogs by Olesya Turkina and Damon Murray

Valerie Anne: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Alexis: Too Much And Not the Mood by Durga Chew-Bose

Vanessa: Our Lady of the Prairie by Thisbe Nissen

Carrie: Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph J. Ellis

Raquel : This Will Be My Undoing by Morgan Jerkins

Abeni: No one belongs here more than you by Miranda July

Erin:The Place of Enchantment: British Occultism and the Culture of the Modern by Alex Owen

Carmen: Black Panther: A Nation Under Our Feet (Books 1-3) by Ta-Nehisi Coates, Black Panther: World of Wakanda by Roxane Gay

Yvonne: The Chronology of Water: A Memoir by Lidia Yuknavitch

Laura M: Financial Intelligence: A Manager’s Guide to Knowing What the Numbers Really Mean by Karen Berman and Joe Knight with John Case

Audrey: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Sarah: Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank

Laneia: The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson

Non-Chalant Lesbian Turtlenecks

Carmen: Did anyone watch last night’s Black Lightning yet? I’m looking for outside confirmation on something
Riese: i’ve only seen the first 30 minutes
my girlfriend always shows up at 9:30 and then i get distracted

[…a few hours later..]

Riese: Carmen i’m just now catching up on what i missed with black lightning and were you, by any chance, going to ask if those two women were two moms
Carmen: I was!
Riese: b/c that was the question in my head when my girlfriend showed up!
i was like YOU GOT HERE JUST AS I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THEY WERE TWO MOMS
i think they are? right?
i mean i guess they could be sisters raising one of their daughters or whatever but
Carmen: Heather thought they were moms too, so I think enough of us felt solid about it for me to call them moms in the recap
But I also was like: moms? mom and aunt? mom and bestie? Hmmmmm
Riese: erin thinks they were moms too
Heather: four out of four gays agree
Riese: carol also agrees that they were moms
so 5/5
Carmen: LOL!
Riese: it fit into the non-chalant way they’ve handled sexual orientation thus far
Carmen: I’m definitely now going to call them “non-chalant lesbian moms” so thanks for that
Kayla: has anyone else seen the Revolting Rhymes short
speaking of nonchalant lesbian moms
Riese: i have not
Kayla: It’s not-so-secretly v gay
A lesbian love story about little red riding hood and Snow White
Based on a book by Roald Dahl
Valerie: sold
Kayla: Little Red and Snow White hold hands like a lot
And then move to the city together
Snow White wears a lesbian turtleneck which I have decided is A Thing
It’s nominated for an Oscar!
Valerie: are lesbian turtlenecks different from standard turtlenecks or are turtlenecks lesbian culture
because my work crush wears turtlenecks sometimes and looks extra good in them and i’m always digging for signs she might be queer
Riese: i wore a lot of mock turtlenecks in the early90s
Rachel: I still don’t understand the difference between a turtleneck and a mock turtleneck
which hasn’t been an issue so far so I feel okay about it
Valerie: i found a picture of me from when i was like 13 wearing a turtleneck under a fleece vest
it was A Lot
Kayla: turtlenecks are technically rolled/folded and mock necks are not
but BOTH are lesbian culture
Mockneck:

Turtleneck:

Rachel: I SEE
Valerie: too much

little valerie why
Kayla: Omg no I love this lewk
Valerie: haha
Riese: mock turtleneck:

valerie: omg
firt of all what an amazing background
second of all, adorable af
heather: kayla do you want to write about this short?
that’s number one. number two is y’all are goddamn adorable.

SLACKERS

February is the month we finally got a fisting emoji in Slack.

February Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous [month]s Riese thinks you might enjoy.

via Julia is Miss February

Where Oh Where Are the Single Black Lesbians?, by Carolyn W (2015) – I like it when somebody is like “what is going on” and a bunch of other people are like “I KNOW I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING.” That’s what the internet is for!

Intern Emily and the Case of the Hairstyle-Induced Identity Crisis, by Intern Emily Choo (2011) – “But really, I want to be a person who is not afraid to be herself. Sometimes I am. I want people to recognize that there is more than one way of looking like a girl. I don’t want to pass.”

This Is A Dead Mom Essay, by Maddie (2015) – Bring Kleenex.

10 Reasons Why Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne Are Already The Gayest Couple Ever, by Riese (2014) – What a pure, clear moment in our lives! W

Latin Lovers and Spicy Bombshells: What “The L Word” Got Wrong About Latinas, by Yvonne Marquez (2014) – This has popped up again on twitter a lot recently which reminded me about HOW GOOD IT IS.

Hello this is Riese and I want to say that this was my pick for the Period Sex article feature image but I was outvoted!!!!

Five Seven Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

First and foremost, I wanted to make a formal announcement to the small yet vocal subset of readers who really wanted Riese to write about The Girlfriend Experience: Riese has written about The Girlfriend Experience! It has, in my opinion, some of her finest graphic work and y’all asked for this so if you do not read it I will be MIFFED. (That last part is meant to be read in Tahani Al-Jamil voice, duh.)

Queering Black History, Imagining Black Futures, roundtables organized by Carmen

In honor of Black History Month, Carmen organized two roundtables that we’re so proud of and that you really want to read. The first asks participants Neesha, Carmen, Natalie, Abeni, Alexis and Reneice “how [they] were taught black history as children, along with brainstorming new ways that approaches to the study of black history and the celebration of Black History Month could be more inclusive of QTPOC black people;” in the second they ask and answer “what are our hopes for black queer futures? What steps can we and our allies take in helping those hopes and dreams become reality?” I’m so grateful to get to read and consider the range of thoughts and reactions to these ideas; I know you will be too!

“One Day at a Time” Brings Even More Heart and Humor and Gayness to Season 2, by Carmen

If you have seen Season 2 of ODAAT and not read this yet, you are missing out on the experience of being delighted and moved! If you have not watched Season 2 of ODAAT yet, you are missing out on TWO RELATED experiences of being delighted and moved. Why would you deny yourself that!

Bad Religion, by Abeni

Abeni is so thoughtful and incisive and intimate in her exploration of what religion gave her in her youth and what it took away, and what moving forward from that experience looks like — I really think this will resonate with a lot of you and any and all complicated religion feelings!

Cristy C. Road’s “Next World Tarot” Boldly Defines a New Generation of Saints, by Courtney Trouble

Y’all! Courtney Trouble on Cristy C. Road and her new tarot deck! This is not a drill! How have you not read this yet!

Your Guide to Writing the Perfect Gay Personals Ad and Finding Lesbian Love, Thanks to Herstory Personals, by Vanessa

I KNOW you guys, I know how anxious and awkward you feel and how bad you wanna find a cutie to make Mickey Mouse pancakes for on Sunday mornings or whatever, so I find it very hard to believe that you don’t want this advice from the creator of THE premier burgeoning insta romance empire. At the very least it’ll be really satisfying when you have a great tinder bio and you come across your ex and hers is just like, her zodiac sign and the dying rose emoji.

Watching “The L Word” For The First Time: A Gentle Guide, by Riese

I realized that some newcomers, some youths, at Autostraddle may not be really fully cognizant of the fact that Riese is an incomparable expert on The L Word, the weird gay fever dream that brought so many of us together. If you’re interested in dipping your toe into this whole situation to get a sense of what all the fuss is/was about, it’s hard to overstate how blessed we all are to have Riese guiding us; this is like if you decided to yourself “I should really learn how to make a grilled cheese properly, like the right way,” and fucking Julia Child resurrected herself in your kitchen and was like, I’ve got you. Take advantage of it!

Social Media Spotlight

We were working on an ad pitch this month that required me to go back and peek at the reach of our Carol tweets. Have you ever wondered what our top 10 Carol tweets of all time are? Well wonder no more. (Also, just FYI, everyone of our Carol tweets has more engagement than all of our competitors’ Carol tweets combined. That’s how you know you’re the best.)

#GetMeHotIn4Words https://t.co/ILR8Lq6cxj pic.twitter.com/ulKcQw6Udq

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) February 6, 2018

Carol's #Oscars2016 snub: The problem isn't lesbians, it's misandry: https://t.co/k6jdBYqtzp pic.twitter.com/SlxoCMcuMu

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) January 14, 2016

The Carol sequels we deserve: https://t.co/4LukeLQWq6 pic.twitter.com/To52Ppke8U

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) December 27, 2016

Carol has finally landed on Netflix! Join @sullivem for Carol Blackout 2K17 as she watches it on a loop: https://t.co/9C7okPpwPQ pic.twitter.com/hWeFiXmhwg

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) September 20, 2017

12 food and drink ideas for when Carol comes to Netflix and you watch it for 24 hours straight: https://t.co/kk4EGXJnOv pic.twitter.com/jvR8agwLko

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) August 28, 2017

Who's in for a Carol-themed road trip? To help you along the way, here is a definitive list of places Carol and Therese ate in "The Price of Salt": https://t.co/FgxzlsXubW pic.twitter.com/7Y3emCIJEh

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) December 11, 2017

Good morning! Remember to turn your face toward the sunrise and celebrate the true reason for the season, Carol. https://t.co/ZJjukUHxcD pic.twitter.com/s626hsI25u

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) December 3, 2017

Ranking Carol's best pickup lines: https://t.co/ILR8Lq6cxj pic.twitter.com/pFubNYjewg

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) July 24, 2017

Carol re-imagined as a horror movie, because @sullivem knows exactly what you didn't know you always wanted: https://t.co/JmhoS7Mw6r pic.twitter.com/CW09yoFQpc

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) November 13, 2017

An ode to @hhoagie's in-flight breakdown about #Carol: https://t.co/SMzV7ai4by pic.twitter.com/NHZx5DPvH7

— Autostraddle (@autostraddle) June 8, 2016

For Your Consideration: The CLINT

Laneia: hi i have bruised my clit (or something) (it’s fine) and while complaining to megan that i maybe need a splint for it she suggested that we have a crafting session at camp for making small “taco shaped” ice packs for clits, which we will call clints. “would be great for yeast infections too”
so if anyone needs a craft for a-camp or just wants to make my dreams come true, this is an idea
clints
Heather: I LOVE IT
Laneia: i’m obsessed with it and might die
Rachel: it would be so easy I think! you’d just need a small mold!
Sarah: omg laneia your clit
i am so sorry but also very glad that now we have the opportunity to make clints
Laneia: right sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves
Sarah: also someone suggested we have a fisting workshop at camp??
this is the world i want to live in!
Heather: wow i read “whiskey fisting workshop” and i was like “no i’m sorry this is the worst idea i have ever heard of”
Laneia: i think you could do an actual fisting workshop using like pillows bound together or something, and it would be A HIT
WHISKEY FISTING
call it whiskey fisting but it’s byo whiskey and it has nothing to do with fisting
Heather: it’s actually a fight club
Laneia: omg they should really put us in charge of a-camp activities
Sarah: whiskey fisting is HAHAHA yes
YES
Laneia: !!!!!!
Yvonne: wait how do you bruise your clit??
Sarah: yvonne i think it might be a sex thing! I AM GUESSING
Heather: yvonne: “wait how did you bruise your clit”
slack: “several people are typing”
Laneia: yvonne i truly don’t know how but it was sex related yes. like the details are fuzzy and maybe bruise isn’t the most accurate way of describing it, but it felt real when i was complaining to megan about it
Yvonne: ahhhh
it just sounds painfulll
Heather: this has happened to stacy as well, i will say. she also described it as bruising.
Laneia: it is! i made myself an ice pack but i’ll tell you what, it wasn’t taco shaped and if it had been, it would’ve been better
Sarah: truth be told a bruised clit sounds like an act of rebellion like you had so much lesbian sex that the bruises aren’t just in the usual places
they’ve gotten more creative
Yvonne: yes, back to the creativity of the CLINT
so great
Sarah: could u use those metal taco holder things that they have at restaurants for the CLINT ice mold?
Laneia: omg
Sarah: CLINT (Clit + Labia Ice Nourishing Treat)
Heather: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laneia: sarah if you wanted to do some mockup visuals of the CLINT i think that would be a great use of your time
Yvonne: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003QP3918/ref=asc_df_B003QP39185361965/?tag=autowin-20
Laneia: OH MY GOD
clints for DAYS
Heather: how is that url already affiliate linked
Yvonne: lol
i have the plugin
Sarah: lmfao
fuck mockups
i’m going full on experimental in the kitchen on this
Heather: okay well i have learned a lot of useful information in the last ten minutes
Sarah: yes, same
see you cats on the clint-side (get it flip side get ittttt) bye i have to do RFP stuff
Laneia: do you think riese will give us an award for being so smart while she’s away

XOXO

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