Letter From Your Editors

Hello Retro Fits!

As somebody once said at some point, “wherever you go, there you are.” This is where we are, posing with objects or near things or in places that possess important geographic clues regarding our whereabouts:

The world is still on fire and things feel scarier and harder every day. I remember a time when we felt inexorably wedded to the news cycle, trying to cover every important thing that happened in our social justice purview regardless of its queer impact. Now our focus has shifted — because there’s way too much to cover and because there is incredible journalism and reporting happening in better-funded publications all over the internet and it’s best for us to focus on what we’re good at and more importantly, capable of. Dark times often inspire big changes, for us (as previously discussed, I think) this has meant a shift in our editorial focus towards quality over quantity. We’re making room for staff writers to spend a month on one story instead of churning out weekly filler pieces. We also will be making an announcement soon about a project we’re gonna do to get even more BIG STORIES. I realize I said this last month but I hope by now we all accept that I’m incapable of understanding how many hours actually exist in a day.

We’ve also been committed to some more conscious visual initiatives — we wanted to make sure that when we publish a big story, it gets the packaging and presentation and social media strategy it deserves and isn’t overlooked. We started remembering how in the beginning of Autostraddle, Alex had a hand in every post that went up — making graphics, designing feature images, guiding formatting — and that we wanted to return to a process that involved that level of care. You may have noticed Sarah Sarwar’s work on graphics for the incredible Bi+ Week that Rachel so deftly organized as well as on our Monday Roundtables. We’ve also invested in getting illustrators and designers to make important work shine, like the new Gym Class series illustrated by Taylor Anne Mordoh and Caroline’s two-part Climate Change series, illustrated by our own Alyssa Andrews. We’re also working on a redesign of featured articles pages!

Furthermore:

+ A highlight of September was that most of the Senior Staff was present at work most days which’s when we can get so much stuff done! October will not be like that. But what is life in this day & age if not a challenge.

+ Have you seen our new and improved affiliates page? It’s way easier on the eyeballs and fun to navigate and remains a truly thrilling way to support Autostraddle while buying things you were planning to buy already!

+ We still don’t have dates for next year’s A-Camp. We also don’t have a location. We’re not returning to Perlman/Beber because they don’t feel able to do what we need them to do in order to feel a level of confidence about the kitchen operations that would enable us to feel comfortable returning. But we’re in talks with a few sites right now to get something nailed down as soon as possible. Chances are strong we’re returning to the West Coast!

This past month we hosted our most anticipated and most popular Getting In Bed With Kristin of all time when Tegan Quin sat on Kristin’s bed and was self-conscious about her hair even though it looked great. We hope you also enjoyed our A+ roundtable on what makes us good in bed, the 15th edition of Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us, and a good old fashioned AMA in Bed with Kristin. Thank you for continuing to support us and our work we love you!

Love,

Riese

cosigned by Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From August

These posts were hella popular last month.

1. “American Horror Story: Cult” Centers On Michigan Lesbian Horrified by Donald Trump, A Little On The Nose There, Ryan, by Riese
2. I Went To Skirt Club, a Lesbian Sex Party for Straight Women, by Natalie
3. “The L Word” Reboot May Ignore Season Six Altogether, Just Like I Already Do, by Riese
4. Satellite of Love: Queer Horoscopes for August 2017, by Corinna
5. 18 Lesbian Power Couples From History Who Made Really Great Art For You, by Riese
6. 58 Trans Women Actresses You Should Know and Also Love, by Riese
7. Autostraddle Roundtable: The Lesbian Sex Scene That Changed My Life, by the team
8. Also.Also.Also: Throw All Your Homophobic Bulleit Bourbon in a River I Guess, by Laneia
9. 41 Super-Hot Butches & Tomboys Of The Early 20th Century, by Riese
10. “Wynonna Earp” Episode 210 Recap: Haught Damn, by Valerie

The description of this stock image is very on the nose so I had to share it with you

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Molly: a taylor swift fan said re: me, “who are you and why are you verified” and honestly great questions
Stef: i have a lot more questions to follow up actually
Molly: i mean i explained to her the best i could on both counts but
who knows

Vanessa: WAIT Laneia how did you discover Rahawa Haile is queer?!? Did everyone just know that except me??
Laneia: Vanessa it said ‘queer’ in the URL and then in the post too and i was like :saves to pocket:
Vanessa: Good lord I read that essay in April and just MISSED the part where she is queer?!
I hate myself
Sometimes we talk to each other on Instagram and like, it feels so much more intimate now
Laneia: it’s probably bc you’re so used to reading queer things and the word ‘queer’ that you just took it in like air, which is nice in its own way? maybe?
Molly: like how i go nose-blind to my smelly dogs after a minute
Laneia: mhm like that but a little more romantic
Molly: u don’t know how romantic my dogs are
Vanessa: Well now I want her to write about hiking for autostraddle, is the thing
In my new community initiative called “we are a community discussing the outdoors, get in here, or should I say, get out there, but I swear to fucking god if one person brings up weight loss in the comments I’m burning this place down”
I’ll come up with a catchier title when I pitch it for real don’t worry

Heather: i hope celine dion comes out tomorrow to close out bi week
as bisexual
and as a witch from the sea

Heather: oh cw is letting the riverdale creators remake sabrina the teenage witch as a “dark coming-of-age horror series.”
Yvonne: omg
i love sabrina
Heather: me too!
Yvonne: and riverdale
Riese: will the lesbian moms be lesbian moms this time
Heather: oh there’s gotta be lesbians
Riese: SHE HAS TWO MOMS
AND A TALKING CAT
how is that not a lesbian household

Laneia: OH did you guys get a bra from true&co for $8 today
there’s still time
Rachel: what the fuck
no
Riese: they don’t make them in my size
which i have NOT complained about in public
Heather: erasure!
Rachel: Laneia is there a code or is it the whole site?
Laneia: [link] it’s a lot of push-up situations in here
BUT IT’S WORTH LOOKING THROUGH
Riese i’m sorry
I really am
Heather: you can also get a two-pack of champion sports bras from costco for $12
Laneia: oh damn
Heather: and flannels on sale for $11
a new column called The Thrifty Tomboy and i talk about costco for 1,200 words
per day
Laneia: i have approved this and scheduled my tweets
Rachel: only 1200?
you need 800 just for the free samples

Stef: someone called sarah paulson a baked potato
Mey: The highest compliment
Stef: lol.

Riese: hey assholes [person] would like an update on her piece
Laneia: oh i was supposed to be the magical third!
fuck
Riese: i’m going to fire everybody who volunteered to look at it and didn’t, which is 3/4 of you
Yvonne: i am free now to look at it if you want
i can do it right this second
Riese: thank you Yvonne, also i’m pretty sure Yvonne is the only one who hadn’t volunteered prior
Laneia: DANG IT
Riese: so now autostraddle is just me and Yvonne
BYE
Yvonne: i might’ve volunteered before to look at it before i’m not sure
Heather: maybe i can get a job at afterellen.
Laneia: this is good news for my mint plant which is what i stare at when i’m sad
mint getting a lot of attention now
Riese: well Heather and Laneia for sure promised to look at it and then the third person was either Rachel or Yvonne
Heather: not not me. i actually never volunteered.
Riese: you did !
Heather: did i?
wow
Laneia: !
Riese: yes
Yvonne: ok i’m gonna look at it!!
Riese: thank you Yvonne!
Yvonne: i have no idea what it’s about
Heather: oh i see now. you asked me to look at it and i was writing about beer.
Laneia: !!! i am dead
fired and dead in the same day this is terrible

Stef: St Vincent pays touching tribute to ex Cara Delevingne
interesting how this doesn’t paste the actual headline, which is “‘I’ll love her forever’: Leggy St Vincent shows off sleek new hairdo and a glimpse of racy bodysuit under open trench coat as she pays touching tribute to ex Cara Delevingne”
Valerie: is Leggy St. Vincent her given name
Stef: I think she had it legally changed
All I want is for someone to write about me this way
“Schwartz put on a busty display wearing an h&m tank top on board her luxury j train”

Riese: i feel like this FX man doesn’t really want us to cover AHS: Cult
or else he would’ve given me a password by now!!!!!!
Heather can i tweet that FX is homophobic
Laneia: oh please let her
Heather: go right ahead. i had to chop off my fingers not to tweet about ryan murphy perpetually RUINING OUR LIVES earlier.
Riese: what would he do if i just used your login again? would we be cancelled from FX forever
does he realize i have a life and a deadline does he care about me at all
Heather: he says it’s a federal crime
Riese: oh for crying out loud
Heather: and the terms of service “could not be more clear”
Riese: nobody has ever read the terms of service in the history of the world
Heather: i told him that, about you needing the screener today if he wants coverage
Riese: so if you were in california with me right now it would be illegal to use your own login?
Heather: he said we accessed it too close to the same time for me to have traveled from new york to santa monica
he’s a real cop
Riese: jesus fucking christ on a wheat thin
Heather: i truly hate this man

Mey: Do you get presents at a gender reveal?????
Stef: only if you’re the right gender
Mey: I didn’t get presents when I came out
Stef: sorry
did you have a cake?
or did balloons come out of a thing or whatever
Mey: Harshhhhhhh
Stef: if i ever get pregnant i’m gonna have a gender reveal party and when you cut into the cake a swarm of locusts will come pouring out
Vanessa: bless

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest faces.

Carmen Phillips, Staff Writer

Twitter: @carmencitaloves

What would be your superpower and why?
I am always so bad at this question! I guess, flying? I’d prefer flying to super strength. Can I be a member of the Dora Milaje in the Black Panther comics? If so, then that. Or can I be Storm’s wife in X-Men? I think I’d make an excellent wife for Storm. But not Halle Berry as Storm in the movies. Never Halle Berry as Storm. I have Very Strong Feelings (TM) about that.

If you could invite four famous people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would you choose and why?
Gina Rodriguez, Rachel Maddow, and Samira Wiley.

Truthfully, I planned at least 4 or 5 different themed dinner parties in my head. One for dead writers, one that was musicians, one for celebrity crushes, and so on! I imagined table settings and menus and dessert trays. It got to be A LOT very quickly. In the end, I just went with my gut. I think these three women are smart and attractive and that we could have really good convos on a variety of subjects. Plus, Maddow moonlights as a mixologist/ bartender. There’s a lot of fun to be had there.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
I once dated a girl for far too long — less than a month, but still far, faaar too long — only to find out that she didn’t think we were dating at all. OUCH. I was playing the “is this a date or are we friends hanging out” game, except for weeks. Because I was too embarrassed and nervous to ask her point blank!

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Without a doubt, late ‘90s/ early 2000s era Angelina Jolie.

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
?? ?

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
Is it too on brand to say writing at Autostraddle? Because that’s my most honest answer… Also, this week I’m really proud of Cardi B for going #1 on the Billboard charts. She’s the first female rapper to have a #1 song as a solo artist in 19 years. She’s the first Latina rapper to have #1 song EVER. And the first Dominican artist to have a #1 song E-V-E-R. I’m always excited to see Afro-Latinas do big things (I made it a personal goal to stream “Bodak Yellow” multiple times a day for the last two weeks; I feel like getting Cardi to #1 was a community effort).

SHEET OF SKIN SUPPORT GROUP

Riese: when are you coming back from CA that weekend?
Laneia: sunday!
i plan on working ~from the road when we drive on wednesday
Riese: ok, cool, so on the 9th we’ll still have three people here
Laneia: i mean thursday! sorry i’ve been so confused abt this dumb trip that i’m looking forward to so much
Riese: once i finally get out of this g-ddamn town i’ll need to take a lot less time off
i’m sorry
Heather: same for me once all my organs have been removed from my body
Laneia: you’ll be like that sheet of skin from doctor who
Riese: omg that sheet of skin
Heather: !
Riese: i haven’t stopped thinking about it for one second since i first saw it
i’ve seen three episodes of doctor who, in total
Laneia: me either!
Riese: one of them was the sheet of skin
i have not recovered
Laneia: it fucked me up
Riese: i watched it like 5 years ago
i think about her every day
Heather: i haven’t stopped thinking about having sex with river song since i first saw her, so we sort of have something in common w/r/t doctor who
Laneia: i remember exactly where i was sitting in this house when i saw it
Riese: i was washing dishes in the kitchen in berkeley
with my ipad up on the breakfast bar
Laneia: we need to form a support group
Riese: we do

What We’ve Been Reading

Riese: Girl Walking Backwards by Bett Williams

Stef: The Answers by Catherine Lacey

Alaina: Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson

Raquel: Borne: A Novelby Jeff Vandermeer

Casey: Oracle Bone by Lydia Kwa and How to Fall In Love with Anyone by Mandy Len Catron

Carolyn: We Were Witches by Ariel Gore

Natalie: Electric Arches by Eve L. Ewing

Heather: Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore

Carmen: Surpassing Certainty by Janet Mock, and What Happened by Hillary Clinton (audiobook, get the audiobook! She narrates it herself!)

Valerie Anne: Catwoman Vol. 6: Keeper of the Castle by Genevieve Valentine, and Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

Tiara: The Wicked + The Divine Vol. 5: Imperial Phase Part 1 by Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie, Matt Wilson, Kevin Wada

Cameron: House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski

Alexis: We Are Never Meeting In Real Life by Samantha Irby, and Child Trauma Handbook by Ricky Greenwald, and Don’t Call us Dead by Danez Smith

Erin: Let’s Just Say It Wasn’t Pretty by Diane Keaton

Nora: Art, Inc. by Lisa Congdon

Laura M: What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Carrie: What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton

SLACKERS

We celebrated a lot of birthdays this month in Slack!

In 2007 I was writing a book about bisexuality (I identified as bisexual at the time) and this is from a photo shoot for my website, it was a truly special time

September Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Septembers Riese thinks you might enjoy.

Vintage Marni (A-Camp Co-Director) back when we only knew her by her commenter name “BCW,” via Summer Scavenger Hunt

Don’t Call Me a Dyke!, by Krista Burton (2010) – Effing Dykes does NOT want straight people to call her a dyke, but if you are a dyke then you can definitely call her a dyke. Listen it’s all in the post.

14 Girls We Wanted To Be Back Then: Kickass Heroines From YA & Children’s Books Of Yesteryear, by Riese & Laneia (2012) – Who wants to live in a boxcar? 8 year olds, that’s who.

37 Delicious Things That Become Infinitely More Delicious After A Breakup, by Lizz Rubin (2012) – I know of six long-term couples who have broken up these past few months, I’m not sure what’s going on with all that but listen, try this. (also molly made you a playlist)

She Asked If She Still Made Me Nervous, by Kari (2014) – “And so fall finds me — my favorite season. It finds me nursing a bumped and bruised heart, dangling my own string of hearts broken.”

How to Have Lesbian Sex: Anal Edition, by Yana (2014) – Some practical advice.

How Your Halloween Sausage Is Made

Nora: hey beebs
lil beebs
if i were to write a halloween costume guide for some queer or otherwise beloved 2017 characters/pop culture figures, who would you want to see? could be individual, couple, or group costumes
(i.e. the hairstylists from GLOW, the hosts of Great British Bakeoff, Grace and Frankie, OITNB characters, the San Junipero girls)
Valerie: waverly and nicole from wynonna earp
she says, predictably
Yvonne: handmaid’s tale
Mey: Wonder Woman gay amazons
William and Elizabeth marston and olive Byrne
Riese: killer clowns from american horror story
jk
Heather: san junipero
grace and frankie
zombie lexa
jk
please don’t tell anyone i said that
Molly: zombie democracy
Tiara: Bilquis from American Gods!
Or femme Taxi Bro
And somebody from Steven Universe
Stef: i am so curious about how you envision this bilquis costume
Cameron: Just a whole room of ppl dressed in outfits from Atomic Blonde lit to perfection
Stef: cameron glavin
Cameron: For a Halloween costume?
Tiara: Or go all nightmare mode I guess

Molly: why is she a floating vagina
Tiara: Because that’s how she devours devotees
Molly: good for her
Tiara: Her vagina is a portal to space almost literally
Molly: seems pretty on the nose
Sarah: WOW
Stef: that’s kind of why i was wondering
if like the costume was just bilquis in the middle of absorbing a man into her vag
they pulled it off pretty well in the show actually
Molly: i’ve seen people wearing giant labia costumes
Stef: this is different!
Molly: couldn’t you just hug dudes while wearing it
and be like “you’re welcome”
Stef: :disappointed:
Molly: (i’ve never seen the show)
Stef: molly’s take on shows she’s never seen
Molly: my fave
it’s how i reviewed girl on the train
it can work for this too
Tiara: Attach a mannequin head to your crotch?
Mey: Lesbian fast & furious
Lesbian despacito
Riese: i want to get the atomic blonde haircut
Cameron: Do it. Wear turtlenecks when you kill men.
The dream really.
Molly: i used to wear turtlenecks to compete in speech and debate
Riese: i’d like to kill men in a crew neck
Molly: same-same
Cameron: I think there’s room for expansion. I think as long as your room & secret meetings are neon noir.
Riese: perf
Cameron: Riverdale. Total wreck of a show. Great costume opportunities.
Raquel: the bold type girls! or at least kat and adena
Heather: i think killing men in a tomboy femme shirt would be a very sexy way to kill men
if i saw that happen in a movie i’d feel very happy
Mey: Are glee costumes retro enough yet
Tiara: Omg Cameron, Cheryl’s wardrobe alone is costume gold
Dufrau: i just watched all of riverdale in the past 2 days and cheryl blossom is the only thing i really believe in anymore
Stef: i’m so glad we all landed here
Sarah: i have no idea whats going on just here to say YES CHERYL BLOSSOM
Raquel: praise
Carmen: 87% of my Riverdale thoughts go to Cheryl Blossom, 2% are that Jughead is a lesbian, the remainder are my “thanks for casting Veronica as a Latina instead of just white-washing the actress”
Dufrau: save some for betty’s fits of rage though
Cameron: a few more percent land on Jughead for me re: “isn’t he supposed to be asexual fine whatever”
Raquel: betty’s social media presence really turned me around on her
Stef: i want betty and veronica to hurt my feelings
Sarah: betty’s rage is smoking hot
bye
Dufrau: betty is secretly butch i think, i give that ponytail 5 more years max
Stef: stop it.
Raquel: omg
Cameron: maybe she’ll take over sad dad’s contracting business
Stef: yeah archie isn’t taking over the company business, he’s gonna be a star
Cameron: val deserves better
Dufrau: yeah she does
Carmen: Oh, and last sidebar, but Nora, I second votes for: San Junipero, zombie Lexa, and Grace And Frankie. And Wonder Woman! Ok, as y’all were…
Mey: I feel like my Wonder Woman creator poly relationship isn’t getting the recognition it deserves
That’s what my girlfriends and I would dress as if we were in the same place for Halloween
Riese: i just wanted to say ‘jughead is a lesbian’ bye
cheryl is gonna be queer this season we think
Stef: can’t wait to meet toni topaz
Tiara: One of my dreams is to be cast as one of Sabrina’s vodka aunties
Cameron: In some universe I am Jughead Jones.

get yours

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

The Bisexual Character in My YA Novel Isn’t “Perfect” — Which Is Perfect, by Gaby Dunn

I’ve been so excited about Gaby Dunn and Alison Raskin’s book I Hate Everyone But You because first of all, same, and second of all I love everything Gaby has to say about how narrowly conceived our ideas of bisexual people and fictional characters are in this essay. I love that she’s given herself permission to write a bisexual character instead of The Bisexual Character, and how hopeful that makes me that all of us can feel like bisexual people instead of pressure to be The Bisexual Person. This is so good you’ll really like this!

Maggie West’s Neon NSFW Fight Against Rape Culture, by Carolyn

This is a very beautiful photo project for a very important cause; also, additionally, you can see a lot of very attractive and famous people extremely naked. Like the photos of these hot people naked are just right here in the post y’all they aren’t even linked out. Just totally naked! Have you ever wanted to see [any of these people] naked? Literally all you have to do is click on this link and scroll for a few inches and you can! Like I just feel like you guys must not be aware of this? But there are some fucking unreal hot people in this gallery that’s all I’m saying and I’m honestly baffled about why you aren’t all freaking out about it.

Why Is YouTube Demonetizing LGBTQIA Videos?, by Molly

Remember when there was an online uproar over the deeply fucked up shift in YouTube’s policy about how videos that even dealt with queer issues could make money and be sustainable? Have you heard much about it since then? Ever wondered how it shook out? Well, the answer is that YouTube has quietly started implementing it. I haven’t seen a lot of outlets talking about it but guess what WE DID so read it pls! Thank you.

Paving the Way for Gay Rights in Kenya: One Nonprofit’s Story, by Kari

One thing that often gets flattened or oversimplified when we take a very long and broad view of social progress is what the individual steps look like, the day to day and week to week of changing lives. Huge court rulings, legislative decisions, or social developments become huge and looming in our minds and in cultural memory they can become the whole story, leaving out the generations of work it took to get to that moment. I truly love this piece because it shows what that week to week and month to month look like: gathering information about potential cases, working on them even when you know there’s a good chance they won’t go to court, patiently and compassionately building the networks of mutual support and solidarity that will help people access what they need. It’s really beautiful! And these photos are very beautiful too! Plese get into it!

Resources and Tools for Climate Change Resilience and Managing the Groundlessness of Climate Change, by Caroline Contillo

I’ve been following Caroline for a long time now and I’m really grateful for her work and her thinking addressing how the unspeakably deep anxiety and terror around thinking about our world ending impacts our ability to effectively start addressing climate change in a real way; I think these articles are so so solid and crucial and I would really love for you to all read them! Thank you goodnight!

Mey’s Pick of the Month: Twin Snakes

Are you a rebel? Do you want to eat some illegal food? Well, come in close, I’ve got a secret. There’s this fruit, blackcurrant, and it’s super popular in the UK, but farming it was banned across the entire United States for a hundred years. It had something to do with this disease that could kill trees. But now they’re back! Starting in 2003 states started legalizing the farming of blackcurrant again! But it’s still illegal in some states, like Maine, Virginia and Ohio. My absolute favorite place to get that sweet, illegal blackcurrant flavor is Haribo Twin Snakes. This is my favorite candy. They’re gummies, but they come in the shape of two snakes that are stuck together, which is actually really freaking weird. This conjoined snake twins comes in three varieties, each with a sour and sweet snake, Cherry and Orange, Apple and Lemon, and my favorite, Blueberry and Blackcurrant. You can eat the snakes separately like I think you’re supposed to, or you can do what I do and just mix your sweet with your sour. Except for the blueberry/blackcurrant ones, i always eat the blackcurrant on it’s own since so I can savor the criminality. There are probably other sources of Blackcurrant in the US, but I don’t know what they are frankly, I’m fine with this being my only knowledge of the mysterious, illegal fruit.

How Your Emmys Sausage Is Made

Heather: @channel hey, did you know the emmys are sunday night and they have the potential to be very gay? VERY GAY. the GAYEST EVER. (also bisexual, queer, lesbian, etc.) anyway, would you like to make some feelings about who you want to win? vote in this poll natalie has made for you! it will be used on our website along with words i will convince some of you to write later after the poll is done!
Valerie: are we voting for who we think will win or who we want to win
oh nevermind i see the word “predictions” now
Heather: if anyone cheats on this poll and forces me to have flashbacks of running fandom polls on afterellen.com i will pay Stef five dollars to whack you with her cane
Carmen: I am taking this poll RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!! I love these types of things
Dufrau: should i vote even if i have not watched most of these things?
Heather: yes, Dufrau!
Valerie: i can’t even tell if these are really the nominees or if you made a queer list up for us
i don’t want to know, i like it the way it is
Dufrau: yeah Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series, i’m like… is this a trick
Carmen: (Heather I used to take all those AE fandom contests so seriously, lol. Weren’t they like March Madness themed? My favorite one was Hunger Games? But I promise that I never ever cheated the system)
Heather: yes, they were! that was my stupid idea. the march madness. the hunger games. i thought, “this will be fun. no one will cheat or threaten to murder me over it.”
i was wrong!
Carmen: Oh but I had SO MUCH fun! So thank you! I’m sorry cheaters ruin things
Valerie: wait but my team was awesome for that

Heather: oh Carmen you are such an angel
Valerie: but yes that was fun for approximately 15 seconds
then other people ruined it
Heather: a lot of shippers are really mean
Laneia: having a hard time reconciling thandy newton’s role being categorized as “supporting” but ok
Valerie: same re: millie bobby brown tbh
wasn’t eleven the whole point of stranger things?
Laneia: correct
Heather: they have a better chance of winning when choosing supporting over lead when they submit because: do YOU want to compete against viola davis?
Carmen: Yeah, fun inside baseball thing: actors can choose what category to run in, so a lot of them choose to submit for supporting instead of lead to game the system
Siobhan: you didn’t make a haven’t seen any of them option
Laneia: ok good point
Laneia: i didn’t know they picked their own categories!
that’s insane
Heather: yes they select one episode to showcase and choose their category and submit to it!
Carmen: The exception is guest actor! You have to have been under X amount of episodes to be considered guest
Laneia: you can’t just label yourself whatever you want, you have to ask the internet what they think you are and then be that
this is just reminding me how much i love big little lies!!!!!!!
i’m going to rewatch it tonight thank u Heather
Heather: i’m here to indulge all tv addictions always

[a day later….]

Heather: @channel last chance to vote in this quick emmys poll!
Lucy: Done! Although I watch exactly one of those shows, so I just picked my favorite pretty ladies to win
Sarah: same
also everyone should do this it’s really fun and you get to see pie charts of the results afterwards!
Valerie: wait what!
i don’t remember there being pie
oh i found the pie
haha
thanks!
that is VERY interesting pie
Stef: it really is
Sarah: I think a lot of us have been using the same ingredients
Stef: i put vodka in my crust
Mey: I put vodka water in mine

Social Media Spotlight

I don’t know if you heard but Tegan Quin guest starred on Getting In Bed With Kristin this month. It was a smashing success. I own all of Tegan and Sara’s albums and have been to several of their concerts but let me tell you what I learned about Tegan and Sara from manning the social media ship while Tegan was in bed with Kristin: I know nothing about Tegan and Sara. Not really. Their fans know everything about them. In fact, we got tagged on Instagram by an account that tells you where to buy the outfits and accessories and furniture Tegan and Sara wear in public or that, like, shows up on their Snapchat.

Look right here, this is Tegan in Kristin’s bedroom.

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Tegan wore this #ModernWomen R.I.P. Patriarchy T-Shirt in her @autostraddle Facebook Live on September 21. #teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #teganquin

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Sep 21, 2017 at 4:39pm PDT

Anyway, I went down the rabbit hole of this Instagram after they tagged us and these are my favorite finds.

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Mickey did some weekend reading, er, sitting with Jorie Graham’s “Fast: Poems” book. #teganandsara #saraquin #teganandsarastyle #joriegraham

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Aug 26, 2017 at 11:17am PDT

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Tegan and Sara were totally stylin’ in their Niagara Falls ponchos on July 30. But who wore it best? 😂 Link in bio to shop…or you can go to the Falls and get one for free. #teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #teganquin #saraquin #niagarafalls

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Jul 31, 2017 at 1:06pm PDT

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Tegan was the poster child for sun safety with this arsenal of products for her vacation with @neutrogena @californiatan @sunbum @eltamdskincare @cvspharmacy @bananaboatbrand #teganandsarastyle #teganandsara #teganquin #neutrogena #caltanformytan #sunbum #trustthebum #showusyourbum #eltamd #cvs

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Jul 20, 2017 at 1:35pm PDT

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Tegan and Sara wore this @toms for @target Together Sweater in their video with the #PropertyBrothers. 👯‍♂️#teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #teganquin #saraquin #target #toms

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on May 24, 2017 at 6:19pm PDT

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Holiday chose to sit on the counter rather than in one of Sara’s Aqua – Real Good Barstools from @bludot as seen on Instagram on April 15. #teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #saraquin #bludot #holidayandmickey #holidayquin

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Apr 17, 2017 at 2:07pm PDT

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Mickey, er, Sara, is the proud owner of this Lipault Paris 22" Wheeled Spinner Luggage in Aqua, as seen on their February 28 Instagram Story. #teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #lipault #lipaultparis

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Mar 1, 2017 at 7:50am PST

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Tegan was proudly showing her support of #chips on her Christmas tree with this @drakegeneralstore – Felted Ornament – Salted Chips #teganandsara #teganandsarastyle #teganquin

A post shared by Tegan and Sara Style (@teganandsarastyle) on Dec 21, 2016 at 6:55pm PST

If You’re a Bird, Then I’m Wearing a Sweater Vest

Riese: Also surprise bisexual twist to basic instinct is there isn’t just one bisexual psychopath there are two!!
Rachel: wait did you not know that Riese?
also i’m about to share you on this essay so you can (hopefully, thank you) edit it at some point and now the movie will be VERY FRESH IN YOUR MIND
Laneia: i feel like my entire life has been leading up to this essay
Rachel: ok now let’s not get too excited
Laneia: Rachel, the uproar over this movie in the 90s!
Rachel: i know! i didn’t end up writing all that much about the movie itself though i don’t think? just bc like what do you even say
and i saw it so after the fact
and also my brain has been made of styrofoam the whole summer
Laneia: love a good styrofoam brained summer
the light bounces off it just right
Rachel: tastes like stale popcorn and warm pepsi
Riese: it was nominated for AWARDS
and also at the same time was just like CONTROVERSY
GLAAD protested it!
Rachel: i will never understand the awards
this movie makes no goddamn sense
it’s like if you explained mulholland drive to an alien and had them recreate it
Laneia: the 90s were such a — listen, i know this is the case for every decade all the time in america, but — such a struggle for sexual freedom and sexual damnation in pop culture and it was SO CONFUSING
i hate every white man who had a hand in confusing me in the 90s
every fucking one of them
Rachel: michael douglas is extremely hateable in that movie
Riese: yes the men were very into this idea that maybe they could take the principals of feminism as sexual liberation and reframe it in a way that worked for them directly and not really for us very much
while convincing us that we were living our best lives!
’90s sex fashion was a reaction to something
including that in the 80s, the “liberal elite” sex-positive ex-hippies dressed like they never wanted to have sex again, like re-watch the big chill and just
ride that melt
Rachel: i agree
and also cocaine
would be the other thing i would add, re: the 90s
Laneia: omg yes re: big chill
Riese: so cozy tho
Laneia: so much EYELET
grown women in the 80s dressed like couch cushions
Riese: they did bless their hearts and ours because that is how i was dressed as a child
Laneia: sometimes i think about how i wanted to dress when i was 8 and i’m horrified bc it’s just madonna in the like a virgin video
at 8
Riese: same, when i wasn’t in corduroy bellbottoms and second-hand polo shirts
also on the cover of despereately seeking susan, a VHS i wasn’t allowed to rent but often saw and desired at Video Watch
here i found this great pic from “the big chill” for you

Rachel: tag yourself i’m the top shirt button
Riese: i’m glen close if i can tag Laneia as mary kay place
Laneia: approved
Riese: othwerwise i’m the feathered hair
Laneia: i was going to be glen’s panicked/dead eyes
Riese: perf
Laneia: “HOW DID WE GET HERE!!!!!??????”
Riese: actually i’m MKP’s desire to have a baby fathered by kevin kline
Laneia: that’s valid and i support it
Riese: thank u
Laneia: i think the fact that i’ve loved this movie since the first time i saw it with my mother when i was a dumb child really REALLY explains so much about me. the big chill as an origin story
Riese: it is yes
Laneia: that’s how i should introduce myself
Riese: i made [my girlfriend] sarah watch it, part of her generational education. i also made her watch foxfire
Laneia: YES
Riese: and say anything
Rachel: did you make her watch pump up the volume
Laneia: is mystic pizza on this roster
Riese: not yet!
Laneia: wait is there anything that sarah wants you to watch
for generational education
Riese: hmmmmm
i don’t think so. i mean i was alive for her entire life
she missed many years of mine
Laneia: i had to listen to all this ska punk for regional education
Riese: oh!
wait. she did.
uh
she made me watch the notebook
Laneia: !!!!!!!
Rachel: oh really
Riese: her first weekend visiting me in michigan
Laneia: MEGAN LOVES THAT MOVIE
Riese: Yeah, so did [ex]!
and like… every soft butch born in the early 90s
because ryan gosling plays a soft butch lesbian in that movie
Laneia: i wish we could have sarah and megan do a review of the notebook together
Rachel: i am endlessly surprised by this
this is my little plastic castle
every time someone likes the notebook
Riese: sarah said it was important for me to understand this was her primary education in romance
Laneia: can we do a poll on AS or is this just too insidery
Riese: and that being in a boat surrounded by ducks or whatever that scene was is her primary sexual fetish
Laneia: !
Rachel: how has that been for you
how’s that working out
Riese: so far it’s fine
Laneia: i have died twice
Rachel: how crucial are the ducks
Laneia: wait to be fair, being on a boat under some weeping willows was my primary sexual hope for many, many years ok fine it still is
thanks, ariel
Rachel: i hadn’t considered it but when you say it like that it makes sense
Laneia: can we do a poll
well wait bc i’d want to know their ages
i’m honestly fascinated by this bc it’s such a strong answer one way or the other
no one waffles on their feelings about the notebook
Riese: Yes
Heather: i have never seen the notebook because i was wholly traumatized by a walk to remember two years earlier and i have never not been this way with artistic grudges
Rachel: i have also never seen it
Heather: !
Rachel: Heather let’s write a post about what we think the notebook is about
Laneia: :a gif that conveys STOP EVERYTHING:
Riese: I wanted Erin to recap it as if it was a lesbian movie so bad
I begged her every day
But she said ppl would get mad at her
Heather: it’s like dirty dancing meets step up: 2 the streets but with cancer
and time travel
Rachel: my sense of it was like ‘you’ve got mail but in the 50s and also alzheimer’s’
no one is allowed to tell us if we’re right or not
for the sake of content
Heather: mmm that sounds right too
Riese: “I watched lesbian classic the notebook and wow rhiann gosling is a lady who knows how to treat a lady”
Heather: i believe the notebook itself is like river song’s journal, full of magical information about the space-time continuum she sexily lords over everyone
“spoilers, sweetie :wink:”
Laneia: lord please for the love of the community, you have to write this
Rachel: i believe the notebook is a 90-minute long cialis commercial with a jazz solo in the second act and an oscar nom for wardrobe

XOXO

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