Letter From Your Editors

Sweet birthday baby! 🧁🎉🥳❤️❤️❤️

Carmen / Drew / Em Win
Em C / Kayla / Sa’iyda
Ashni / Motti / Riese
Nico / Valerie Anne

Today, this very day, while you are reading this very letter right now — Autostraddle is turning 15.

We’re celebrating in part by revisiting the same way that Autostraddle turned five (can you believe THAT?!? Madness). In 2014, almost every day for the entire month of March, Autostraddle published a different “Top Five” list. This year we are doing a week of chaotic Top 15’s. I told the team not to worry about traffic or SEO (though those are always a priority), but to take a break from work as usual and write something quite simply just for fun. It didn’t have to be long. It didn’t have to be complicated. But it had to make the writer smile.

Our birthday month has been busy, even by our own high standards of over-stuffing each hour of the day! In addition to our fun little birthday list series, this week also coincides with the Academy Awards. To mark the occasion, Drew assembled an entire week of long form film criticism from queer critics across the internet with only one prompt: they had to write about an Oscar nominated movie, but they could write anything that they want. So often, especially as queer critics, we end up boxed in as what amounts to “diversity hires” — brought in to write about queerness to the exclusion of anything else. I loved opening up our very gay website this week and reading Georgie Morvis writing about Past Lives (my favorite straight romance of the year), or Marya Gates writing about the studied empathy of Paul Giamatti (I mean, talk about unexpected!!!). Aamina Inayat Khan zeroed on at Anatomy of a Fall’s mother-son relationship. And while yes my essay on American Fiction technically is about queerness (Sterling K. Brown’s performance is one of the best depictions of a late in life coming out that I’ve ever seen, truly worthy of is Oscar nomination) — I almost never get an opportunity to write about cis gay Black men, even though cis gay Black men make up most of my chosen family! Opening up our pages like this is such a specific, fun, and thoughtful way to show up for queer writers. I hope we make it into a tradition.

March also means that Natalie is already plugging away at our annual March Madness television tournament. Kayla and the other editors are already planting early seeds for April Fools. And there’s at least two other projects underway that I can’t even allude to yet! The days are getting longer, the air is getting warmer, and Autostraddle is just bustling with energy. It might be the giddiness of #15 talking, but this very well may be my favorite March in a while.

This week I have also spent a lot of time thinking about a different week. The one when I moved from being Autostraddle’s interm to permanent Editor-in-Chief. Riese interviewed me about my promotion for the site and (yes, I realize I am about to quote myself, truly I am so sorry) this is what has been ringing in my ears the last few days:

“We just celebrated our twelfth birthday and I believe it crosses us into a new playing field. We’ve been around too long to be the new kid on the block, but we’re still too young to be a legacy brand. We’re truly becoming teenagers — which is an awkward and precarious time. I want to see us through that and into the next chapter. I want an Autostraddle that will be here for another 20 years, I want to build a platform that outlives us. That’s my goal.”

I never had a quinceañera. Those versions of prescribed femininity weren’t really my mom’s style. But 15 still feels like a number that’s settled into my bones. When I first became Editor-in-Chief, we were barely 12. I wanted us to see 20. Today Autostraddle’s 20^th birthday feels closer than ever. Today it feels like I can see it stretched out in front of me in serenity. Look what at what we’ve done! Together we have helped Autostraddle grow and thrive and I believe with the utmost certainty that there is nothing we can’t do next.

You’ve also probably noticed something else that we’re working on! And it’s the universal login. While Nico is doing their best to respond to the help tickets and emails you all have been sending, we also want to let you know that a great first step to getting the new login to work is to refresh your cache. The good news is that our new login situation is actually the even more secure than our previous method — and when running a queer website, it’s important to us that we have everything as secure as possible. For maximum security in general (with us and with others), you can also enable 2FA login for your email. You’ll probably see more websites going the way of email verification login versus password login in the future. In the meantime, Thank You for bearing with us as we smooth out tech bumps in the service of making things easier and more secure overall. We remain a small and queer business, and like anyone else, not everything is going to go 100% seamlessly the first time we try it. If you run into any issues, we are so grateful for your patient and constructive feedback in the A+ comment box. That is the best way to reach us, and it allows us to get your messages into the hands of the right people. Thank you again.

Listen!! There is no birthday celebration without you, our members! We’re listening to popular demand and we’ve moved your previously biweekly Advice Box to now hitting every single Friday!! Plus, the Anonymous Sex Diaries are back, with more on the way! And there is so much more, terribly exciting content coming for you on the horizon!! Nico and Riese have been busy collaborating and brainstorming and planning, so just you wait.

Thank you for being in community with us. Thank you for being here. 🎈

Feliz queerceañera babe, you look fucking amazing.

Love,
Carmen / Nico / Kayla / Riese / Drew

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What The Team Can’t Get Enough of This Month

Em Chadwick: Can’t get enough of British who dun it’s (Criminal Record was binge consumed in approx. 48 hours).

Riese: Playing baby name games on Sporcle, because knowing the top 100 names starting with “A” given to girls in 1955 is definitely going to benefit me in life in significant yet unspoken ways

Motti: Making my girlfriend binge-watch all of Grey’s Anatomy with me (her first time, my 4th).

Drew: Getting a little high, putting on an old musical, and doing a puzzle with my girlfriend

Kayla: 4+ mile walks

Carmen: (I was also going to say walks, but mine are only for like a mile or two and Kayla intimidated me?)

Em Win: Walking to dance workout Youtube videos

Valerie Anne: Tiny Book Nook DIY kits. I’m on my second one and I fear I will soon have a library full of them. Editor’s Note: Autostraddle also has a how to guide to make your own tiny books:)

Sa’iyda: Trader Joe’s garlic cream cheese. You can put it on a cracker (I like it on the fig and olive thins they make) or mix it into your tomato sauce and make an easy cream sauce for pasta!

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The Quinceañera Episode of Neon

Hello, Carmen here! Did you know that there have been at least three different queer-themed quinceañera episodes on television!

Sure, three isn’t the largest number, but for such a culturally specific coming-of-age story, it feels significant that we have a few options to choose from (I don’t know if there are three different queer-themed Sweet Sixteens for example, or three queer b’nai mitzvahs). In celebration of Autostraddle’s 15th Birthday, I’m going to do a little breakdown of these episodes throughout this Insider

First up is Neon on Netflix!

So what’s this quince all about? In this Netflix comedy about three friends in their early 20s trying to break into the music industry, Ness ((Emma Ferreira) is the best friend since childhood and now-manager of Santi, an up-and-coming reggae ton star. Outside pressures have Ness and Santi fighting lately, which sets the stage for Santi to remember Ness’ quinceañera, the importance of their love for each other, and the plan he hatched to help get her the first dance of her dreams.

You should watch it if… To begin with, not enough people watched Neon for my liking!! So you should watch it because the show is a quick afternoon binge, with vibes that meet at the intersection of Entourage and One Day at a Time. You will love its joy, scrappy heart, and Can Do spirit. But the quinceañera episode in particular will be a highlight if you like cringe 2010s nostalgia and seeing best friends conspire a heist-like plan to help the girl… well, get the girl.

Carmen’s rating: Three hearts and a really good Spotify playlist with tumbao! ❤️❤️❤️🎤🎶💥

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Kylo: jenny schecter was my teenage crush
Motti: ew kylo wtf
Riese: that’s supreme
Nico: i liked jenny
Drew: I also love Jenny (at least early seasons)
Motti: this is shocking
and hard to hear tbh
Laneia: i love a disaster
Riese: what’s wrong with a psychologically disturbed writer
isn’t that the best kind of person
Kayla: yes representation matters
Tima: My heart is breaking
Nico: WE ALL LIKE JENNY
Motti: it’s important to have different opinions *i repeat to myself over and over again*

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Kayla: can you read my j.lo piece bc i am indeed on hella cold meds and could use a pair of eyes lol
Drew: Haha yes!
Kayla: ty!
Drew: It’s 66 minutes not 106 minutes but I’m cracking up at you think it felt longer
Kayla: omg
lol
i was, again, sober

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Riese: i realize you likely have a busy day planned for yourself but i think probably what you wished you could do today is for me to send you pictures for an update of lesbian sex according to stock photography and for you to casually suggest funny captions if any come to mind
Laneia: i always wish to do this yes
i go to sleep in a state of perpetual disappointment that i didn’t get the suggest funny captions for lesbian sex photos that day

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Riese: Was kayla and kristen’s song mambo number 5 or am i remembering it wrong
Drew: Lmaoooo it was Mambo Italiano
Riese: aahhhh ok CLOSE
makes more sense cuz they play mambo italiano at the olive garden
Drew: But years into Elise and I’s relationship I learned her favorite song is Mambo No. 5 so maybe that’ll be our song
Riese: oh ok then i can send YOU the article: Enough already! H-E-B employees report ‘PTSD’ from repeat plays of this one song in grocer’s stores
Drew: Omg Elise should get a job there in between acting jobs
Riese: She’d have the best time
Drew: Living with Elise while working from home is a little like this tbhToday she’s been singing I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus on loop

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Drew: Do girls not kiss in Aeon Flux??
Why do I always think girls kiss in Aeon Flux!
Kayla: wait i thought they did
Drew: I can’t find any evidence of it
There’s a very explicit tongue makeout pill exchange but it’s between a guy and a girl lol
And that scene left a mark
But it’s technically straight I guess

*11 minutes later*

Kayla: should we cowrite Why Do We Both Have a False Memory of Girls Kissing in Aeon Flux?*

*SPOILER ALERT: WE ARE

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Carmen: Listen I saw “A FANTASTICAL QUEER ROMANCE SET TO THE HIT MUSIC OF THE INDIGO GIRLS” in all caps and had to send it over

Carmen: I just.. so many buzz words in the description alone!
Drew: I know!
Carmen: That’s a pr person who really knew their audience.
Riese: “a fantastical queer romance set to the music of the indigo girls” is oddly also the jacket copy for my memoir

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Carmen: Thank you Motti!! You are such a boundless joy to work with.
Motti: That is so kind!!

…two minutes later…

Motti: what’s your sign Carmen?!
Carmen: Cancer, she says after saying thee MOST Cancer thing possible at work.
Motti: hahahahah i was thiiiiiiinking

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Kayla: i’m sooooo hype for this movie
i don’t think it’ll be gay but i’ll probs wanna write about it
m. night is posting it EVERYWHERE rn because he’s SUCH A DAD
Drew: I’m in
Truman Show meets The Village

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Carmen: I just found out Kerry Washington is only 47 and therefore too young to qualify for my “Black Actresses over 50” list and when I tell you that I am devastated by this revelation
Kayla: omg
Carmen: Live from my kitchen table:

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What We’re Reading

Riese: At Her Service by Amy Spalding

Nic: The Blood Trials by N.E. Davenport

Drew: Splinters by Leslie Jamison

Kayla: City of Laughter by Temim Fruchter

Em Win: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Valerie Anne: Bloodmarked by Tracy Deonn

Carmen: Olga Dies Dreaming by Xóchitl Gonzalez

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The Queerceañera Episode of Vida

So what’s this quince all about? In Vida’s third season, Tanya Saracho wrote one of the best queer Latine scenes of pure love and adoration that I’ve ever seen, which is fitting, since you know… Vida, as a show is still to this day the best queer television I’ve seen bar none. Marcos (Tonatiuh) is one of Lyn and Emma Hernandez’s best friends. They’re also nonbinary and queer and for their 30th birthday they would like to engage in the time-honored tradition of a doble quince (this is when, for whatever reason, you didn’t get a quinceañera the first time around, you can have a do-over on your 30th birthday, your “double 15”, get it?). The Hernandez sisters use their family’s gay bar to throw Marcos a party that will not soon be forgotten.

You should watch it if… If, like me, you didn’t have a quince for your 15th birthday and also you grew up to be gay. If someone had introduced the idea of a “queerceañera” to me before my 30th — all bets would have been off. I might still do it for my triple quince (triple 15) if I can convince enough friends to dress up. Also, if you enjoy really fucking good bittersweet writing and complicated queer emotions.

Carmen’s rating: It’s perfect. 10s across the board. 💯💯💯💯

You can watch it on: Hulu

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Florida Wildlife Report

I experienced Playalinda Beach in coastal central Florida recently, and it was incredible. Just a beautiful gay, natural beach. I’ll write about it in depth soon, because it was really special!

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Drew’s Nonsense Notes

I use my Notes app for… everything. I’m sure there’s a less chaotic way to organize everything from to-do lists to movie ideas to random observations but this is the one that works best for me! So each month I’ll share something random from my Notes app and try to decipher it for you.

This is what happens when you’re high and also thinking about work. I do think it depends on what kind of aliens! Like is this E.T. or Independence Day? Either way I’d definitely have to write something.

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The Quinceañera Episode of One Day at a Time

So what’s this quince all about? One Day at a Time is an icon of queer television for a reason. And Elena’s quinceañera is that reason. Elena (name), newly out to her family, has been struggling with the gendered and patriarchal norms that come with the coming-of-age ceremony, and to top it all off her father (who has been having difficulty with finding out his daughter is a lesbian) has stood her up for the big dance. But don’t you worry about that because her family will have her back. And you should get several boxes of tissues.

You should watch it if… If you want to feel your feelings outside your body to remember what it feels like to be alive!??! (No seriously, I have friends who put on this episode of television specifically to make sure they remember how to cry. But you know!! In that good, heart bursting, life affirming way!!!)

Carmen’s rating: Five stars, three rainbows, whatever is your favorite flavor of birthday cake, and a perfect sunny day. ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️🌈 🌈 🌈🎂🍰☀️😭😎

You can watch it on: Netflix

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What? It’s a Conveniently Located Priority Contact Box!

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Queer Stock Photo Success Stories

This is the fourth result when you google “queer birthday princess” in Getty Images. Enjoy!

Have a slice of cake today and think of us!! XOXO

Team For Them