Queer Girl City Guide: Gainesville, Florida

By Casey and Cori (no, not THAT Kacy and Cori)

Welcome to Gaynesville! Its a small little bubble of liberalism in a sea of southern weirdness. There’s lots of fun to be had here; we’ve got everything from world-class education to the beauty of wild Florida nature, not to mention fresh cooked local meals and dance parties that will knock your socks off. We’ve lived in Gainesville a combined 20 years (Casey’s been here for 5 years, Cori moved here at the ripe old age of 6 and has been out in the queer community for the past 4 years). We were surprised at how queer friendly Gainesville is for a small southern city. It’s a great place to live, filled with great communities, lots of local music, and plenty of opportunities for artists, students and professionals alike.

I Love the Nightlife! I Like to Boogaaay!

Gainesville has a lot of bars and clubs downtown. Only three are official “gay bars” but downtown is very gay friendly for the most part. Here’s an overview of the official gay nights:

There is a great little club down town called the University Club (UC) that has drag performances every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. They also have an amateur drag show on Wednesday nights so if you and your friends work up the nerve, you can stage your very own performance!

In Florida we LOVE dive bars. So much, we have our very own queer dive bar called Spikes (4130 NW 6th Street). It’s the oldest remaining gay bar in Gainesville and the atmosphere is warm and friendly with a pool table, outdoor patio and a jukebox. The community at Spikes is what keeps us coming back — every time we’re there it feels like family. They often have open invitation potluck meals on the holidays because they know some people may need a home away from home.

Want to put a little wiggle in your pickle? Very recently a dance night was instituted on the third Wednesday of every month. The Queerotic Dance night takes place at the Backyard at Boca Fiesta (232 SE 1st Street), a back-porch bar sandwiched between a downtown restaurant and pool hall. The cover charge is often donated to local LGBTQ causes.

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Yummies in Your Tummies

The food is one of the great jewels of Gainesville. There are so many family-owned restaurants featuring locally-grown produce and livestock from family farms and almost every restaurant has vegan and vegetarian options. The weekly Wednesday Farmer’s Market and the Citizen’s Co-op are great places to stock up for your own home cooked delicacies.  Here’s a few of our favorites:

The Top (30 N Main Street) A “New American” style restaurant with everything from steak to tofu scramble. A nice spot for Sunday brunch, a full bar with nightly drink specials.

The East End Eatery (1202 NE 8th Avenue) is a quaint Mom and Pop restaurant that has waffles rivaled by no other and has a small menu that is accented by daily specials.

Flacos (University Avenue at NW 2nd Street) is the late night cuban sammie shop to stop at for lunch, dinner or for that post-bar crawl sober-uping delicious snack.

La Tienda (2204 SW 13th Street) ….OOOoooooo… La Tienda, I just drooled. Want some authentic mexican food? La Tienda is one of our favorites! Get some amazing mole (mo-lay), a luchador mask and visit the deli in back.

Vegetarianism be damned! If you are a juicy meat loving burger gobbler you need to check out Macs Drive Thru (129 NW 10th AVE). Macs is one of those small town essential drive ins. Every afternoon the line of cars is looped around the restaurant spilling into the road and around the block. And there’s nowhere else you can get a burger, fries and a shake for less than 5 bucks.

The Jones Eastside (401 NW 23rd Avenue) serves locally grown breakfast all day every damn day!

Satchel’s Pizza (1800 NE 23rd Avenue) is a Gainesville landmark. Their price point is a little high, but that is because Satchel believes everyone working at his restaurant should make a living wage and have benefits. The pizza isn’t a traditional New York style, but boy is it delicious. As a connoisseur of pizza, Casey would say the butter and rosemary brushed crust is a delicious touch to their style of pizza. The serve both vegan AND gluten free pizza, so all you animal lovers and celiacs can enjoy their delicious dough as well!

The College Life

Welcome to the land of frats and sororities. The University of Florida is one of the largest universities in the United States. UF has a history of being anti-gay (you know, back in the cray-cray days of McCarthy and the Johns Committee), but many would argue that the University is making strides to change this perception. UF even instituted March as Pride Awareness Month in 2000 and brings in various LGBT entertainers. This year there were performances by Uh Huh Her, various drag performances and speakers such as poet Andrea Gibson and the Great John Waters.

Sante Fe College is another Gainesville-based source of higher education. SFC has two campuses and is popular for its smaller class sizes and lower tuition fees.

Get Sporty! And in Touch With Nature

There isn’t much in terms of queer sports in Gainesville, but there are PLENTY of sports for participation and spectating alike. The University of Florida is home to Gator everything (football, baseball, basketball, volleyball, gymnastics). If you’re a student here, it’s easy to get some cheap football tickets, but even if you’re not a student there are plenty of people who sell their tickets on Craigslist. Cori had a panic attack the first time she went to a football game (she’s not one for the large crowds of sweaty, overly affectionate strangers) but tailgating is pretty awesome.

Gainesville is lucky enough to have two (TWO) roller derby teams, The Gainesville Roller Rebels and The ACR Hunnies. These wheeled vixens are a joy to watch, but be careful… the front row is the nose bleed section (aka Suicide Seating). There’re also plenty of recreational sports around town: soccer, rugby, frisbee, and softball to name a few. There is a gay running group, but we hear it just happens to be filled with only gay men. Maybe you can help change that; we’ve been told that they’re interested in it becoming a LGBTQ running group.

To us, the best part of living in Gainesville is being so close to some amazing natural phenomena. We are about an hour and fifteen minute drive from either coast (Crescent Beach and St. Augustine on the East, Cedar Key and Horseshoe Beach on the Gulf) and less than an hour away from many artesian springs.

Gainesville has some of the most amazing bike trails, both road and mountain (well, it’s Florida so technically hills). The Hawthorn trail is a 16 mile paved rail to trail that starts in downtown Gainesville, rides though Paynes Prairie and ends in Hawthorn, Florida. Make sure to stop off at the Alachua Sink to walk down the boardwalk to the prairie and see all kinds of wildlife like, herons, alligators, deer, wild horses and bison. The San Felasco trail is a world famous off-road bike trail system filled with more than 30 miles of rip-roarin’ fun! There are many more on-road and off-road trails scattered around the town. Gainesville Cycling Club (GCC) is great way to get acquainted with the local cycling community through group rides.

North Central Florida is home to dozens of natural springs. The Florida Flamingays are a couple of queers who have written some great reviews of some of the best springs including information about accessibility, safety, and other helpful details. Whether you’re floating in a tube down the Ichetucknee river or snorkeling over the sunken confederate ship in Troy springs, you won’t be disappointed by any of these amazing treasures.

Neighborhoods of Interest

One of the things we love about Gainesville is the wide variety of housing available. Whether you’re looking to live in a swanky modern condo, a beautiful restored home in a historic neighborhood, a low to reasonably priced house or apartment or a tent in your friends lawn, we have it! The Duckpond neighborhood in Downtown Gainesville is a great place we suggest looking for housing. Carol Estates, Grove Street and Pleasant Street neighborhoods are also great places to find a quiet house with a couple roommates for a decent price. If you love the college vibe, the “student ghetto” is where you will find the house parties and cheap rooms. The price of housing is very reasonable in most of Gainesville, and the crime is low. Not to mention: the average cost of living in Gainesville is 3.5% lower than the US average.

COMMUNITY!

One of the most amazing parts of Gainesville is the diverse and loving community that has formed here. For a small southern town, the Pride Community Center in Gainesville is very active place; it works with the city to put on a Pride parade every October. The local PFLAG chapter meets the third tuesday of every month at the United Church of Gainesville. There really is something for everyone here.

Jesus’ Love Bomb is a recently organized group that works to counter and distract from the Dove World Outreach Center’s relentless protests at any event that may include a gay person or people just generally have a nice time. (Yes these buttheads have garnered national attention by threatening to burn the Quran and lynching an effigy of President Obama, but they really aren’t all that smart and are easily flustered by silliness and common sense.)

Wayward Council has been a Gainesville staple for fourteen years and, although they no longer have a storefront, this group of scrappy young punks are working together to create underground spaces all over town and support local and national artists with garage shows and guerilla record sales. The punks in this town are a hard group to break in to, but for the most part they are all fiercely loyal and supportive of the entire queer community.

Want to brush up on you Hothead Paizan? Looking for a ‘zine about the queer prison movement? The Civic Media Center (433 S Main Street) is the place to go. The CMC hosts the Queer Reading Group discussions, screenings of documentary films and houses a reading room and library of all kinds of non corporate media.

We can’t drive home the point enough that Gainesville is a rather small southern town, but that the queer awareness is pretty amazing here. Every October there is a Pride parade that is multiple (YES! MULTIPLE!) blocks long and ends with a great little festival in the Downtown Community Plaza.

Spectrum is a group of trans people and allies working to raise awareness of trans issues in the Gainesville area. Spectrum offers free workshops for various groups to help promote awareness for all genders.

Wild Iris is a feminist lesbian bookstore in between midtown and downtown Gainesville. The store has been criticized for not accepting trans ladies into their women-only variety show, but the store does have a non-fiction LGBT and gender identity section. Wild Iris is the last feminist bookstore in the state of Florida.

Places to Avoid

At all costs! Avoid the hell’s mouth, I mean midtown. Actually, midtown is not specifically dangerous for the LGBTQ community, its just not that friendly at times. Or maybe a better way to put it is: the people who hang out at midtown tend to drink copious amounts of pitchers of beer and think it’s acceptable to stare at people who are different and ask questions like, “Are you a boy or a girl?” In the end, it’s a fun place to hang out, but not for everyone. And we recommend going in groups large enough to take over.

Gainesville is a moderately diverse town, but the one thing that really gets to us about Gainesville is that it’s still fairly segregated. Carol Estates is the most racially diverse neighborhood with an almost equal number of people of color living side by side with whites. On there other hand, there are neighborhoods like the Duck Pond which are still dominated by “old rich” southern white folks who haven’t gotten with the program. As for sexual and gender identity diversity, in 2010 Gainesville was listed as 11th gayest city by the Advocate in the US. There really is no gayborhood in Gainesville, but there also isn’t any specific area of town that would be unsafe to live specifically as a LGBTQ individual.

Looking at the laws surrounding the cities protection of the LGBTQ community there is some good news, some bad news, and some ugly news. First, lets start with the good. Gainesville includes LGBTQ individuals to the Florida Civil Rights act, which protects some basic civil rights (i.e. you can’t get kicked out of your home or fired for being a lesbian). The bad: Florida does not recognize same-sex marriage. Now the ugly: not only does Florida not recognize same-sex marriage, they refuse to recognize ANYTHING (domestic partners, civil unions) that isn’t marriage. The implications of this are endless and have sometimes resulted in state workers not being able to provide health insurance benefits to domestic partners. Fortunately in Gainesville, the city workers and UF employees have been allowed to offer domestic partnership (even same-sex) benefits.

That said, the city is VERY friendly. Moving here from the north, it took Casey a while to come to terms with southern hospitality. People REALLY would give you the shirt off of their backs down here! Gainesville has been much more queer friendly than some northern cities we have been to. As long as you avoid certain bars at certain times of the day, you will be surprised that queerness is generally accepted. Come and visit the next time you get a hankerin’ for some sunshine. We guarantee you won’t be disappointed!

Queer Girl City Guide: Columbia, MO

By Katie and Sugar

For most people, Columbia is a pit stop on the I-70 trek from St. Louis to Kansas City. For those lucky enough to live here, there’s so much more to love.

Katie: I moved here 3 years ago to start graduate school at Mizzou, and it didn’t take long for me to feel like warm and fuzzy about Columbia – that’s the Midwestern hospitality. After a little longer, I’d found so many other reasons to love it here. Because of the university, Columbia has is a liberal bubble in a surrounding sea of red. There are plenty of amazing cultural events happening, and a lot of unique and wonderful people. Queer people and places aren’t hard to find, and the other residents of Columbia largely embrace the LGBTQ community.

Sugar: I have officially lived in Columbia, MO for 5 months now, and it has blown me away. I was born and raised in Arkansas and was proud to live there. I began a long distance relationship with my current partner and future wife, and began making trips to Columbia whenever I could. There’s something about Columbia that made an impact on me and that I think would impress any member of the LGBTQ community. You might expect small-town Missouri to be a place of judgment and, at best, “tolerance.” However, Columbia became magnetic for me in its representation, acceptance, and diversity of the local culture. For a queer girl from the south, Columbia has been a true breath of fresh air, and gives me hope for similar towns in the country. I hope this guide will give you the opportunity to know CoMo as I have and enjoy any time you may spend here.

Going OUT in CoMo

The SoCo Club 

128 E. Nifong Blvd
The only official gay club in the city. It’s located on the south side of town, there’s ample parking, and cover is usually $5 (for 21+). Thursdays and Saturdays are drag show nights, but other weekly or monthly events include karaoke, trivia, line dancing, cabaret, and “industrial night.” If you’re not into dancing or drag shows, there is a nice lounge area, which features comfortable couches and a full bar. Apparently, there is a new “ladies’ night” on the third Saturday of each month, but we have to reserve judgment until we see it for ourselves. Generally, this bar has more gay boys than ladies, and we’re never surprised to see a straight bachelorette party there. In fact, there’s often more straight people than queers at the drag shows, but they tend not to venture over to the lounge side. If you’re looking for a place to go out, catch a show, and dance, SoCo is a good place to feel like you can be yourself.

Arch & Column Pub
1301 Business Loop 70 East
The other official gay establishment in Columbia, this pub caters more to the middle-aged male crowd. If you want a low-key bar to hang out with your ladyfriend(s), this is the place to go. You can actually hear each other talk, and the drinks are cheap. Last week, I got a round of 3 gin-and-tonics for a mere $8. There’s a nice patio in the back, and karaoke a few times a week. The A&C is a very active sponsor of LGBT community groups and events.

Eastside Tavern
1016 E. Broadway
While this bar is not an official gay bar, it’s pretty damn queer. It is attractive to the gay community because of its very accepting/welcoming atmosphere and the prime downtown location. They have everything: geek nights, comedy, trivia nights, karaoke (huge selection of songs), and dancing – and are really popular for “Dirty Disco” Saturdays, the best dance party downtown. It’s known for great drink specials and adorkable, geeky décor. After passing other bars filled with preppy, heteronormative college students, walking into Eastside is a breath of fresh, queer air.

Insert “Eating Out” Joke Here

Columbia has a bevy of great places to eat. We’ve described a few here, on a spectrum from very informal to fancy-pants. Even if not explicitly stated, we feel comfortable being queer at any of the places listed here.

Super-casual: For the best burger in town, head to Booches (110 S. 9th Street). You can get 2 sliders and a drink for around $5, shoot some pool, and watch a game. A Columbia tradition. Another quintessential Columbia gathering place is Shakespeare’s Pizza (225 S. 9th Street). You won’t be surprised to run into an old classmate or professor here, and their pizzas are fantastic. They have a plethora of toppings, from artichoke hearts to broccoli. The cheap slices at lunch attract the local business crowd, but the full pizzas for dinner can be a little pricey. Once the families leave, it’s a great place to drink $4 triple-wells with friends. Good Morning America even named it the “best college hangout” in the nation last year, so there’s that.

Coffee Fix: Most of the coffee shops in Columbia offer amenities such as free Wi-Fi, a low key atmosphere, and of course, a great cup of coffee. If you need to get your final essay turned in tomorrow and want the most caffeine for your dollar, head to Coffee Zone (11 N. 9th Street) for a bottomless cup of their Rocket Fuel (so you can drink until your eyes pop out for $3.75). You can also grab some of their fantastic Mediterranean fare to help soak up all that caffeine. If you want a more social environment, check out Kaldi’s (29 S. 9th Street) in the middle of downtown. Their full food menu is perfect for your lunch meetings. Make sure to try the scratch-made crepes; they are sure to impress. Lakota (24 S. 9th Street) is another staple coffee shop in CoMo. Their brick walls, hard wood floors, bar stools, rockers, and hand crafted chairs all combine to create a rustic western atmosphere. This is a prime location to study, or meet up with friends while breathing in the soothing aroma of fresh organic coffee. If their coffee does not make you a regular then you should be know that they feature the fastest Wi-Fi out of all the coffee shops downtown.

“Hey, I just met you…” – Low pressure lunch date: Downtown Columbia has a few interesting restaurants tucked away where you can count on eclectic menus, laid back atmospheres, and prime people-watching. Main Squeeze (28 S. 9th Street) specializes in vegan/vegetarian dishes, offers Lakota coffee, and in the summer you can always drop in for one of their fabulous juices (Don’t worry if you can’t choose from their plethora of options. A good rule is to always fall back on the Curious George). At Uprise Bakery (10 Hitt Street) you can find a large dining space, friendly people, and a well stocked bar. Their food covers the gamut of baked goods, from sandwiches to turnovers, all featuring their homemade bread. Uprise tends to be crowded, but you won’t mind spending time on the front patio, a terrific people-watching spot. Café Berlin (220 N. Park Street) features a local, organic menu. Their lunch is excellent, and their breakfast is the talk of the town. To top that off, they serve their wonderful pancakes and hearty omelettes all day. If you are feeling a bit down, head over on a Wednesday night where they are sure to be holding a live music event that is sure to add pep to your week. Finally, if you’re looking for the best Indian food in town, Curries (2518 Business Loop 70 East) beats all others. You’ll want to plan a picnic or dinner at home for this one, though, because Curries is strictly take-out.

“We should do this again sometime!” – Second date dinner options:  Located downtown, Broadway Brewery (816 E. Broadway) is one of Columbia’s newest and favorite eateries. Their in-house specialty brews and unique, local menu options change with the seasons. This dimly lit romantic restaurant sets the mood without being too serious. You and your date can share a peasant platter (a delicious array of cheeses, fruits, and veggies) while sipping quality wine or beer. Flat Branch Pub and Brewing (115 S. 5th Street) has been a hot spot for several years and the long wait on Friday nights reflects its continuing popularity. Buzzing with activity, this much-loved watering hole offers a fairly traditional, but extensive pub menu. Don’t hesitate to indulge in their green chili beer, which tastes just like green bell peppers in a glass. If the evening is cool, sit out on the largest patio in town.  Tellers Gallery and Bar (820 E. Broadway) has a really nice atmosphere for a date, and is a lesbian-owned establishment. Great food, awesome bar, and reasonable prices. Kampai Sushi (907 Alley A) is known for having the best sushi in town. Its unique location in an alley helps give Kampai has an amazing atmosphere for a date night. It’s always a plus to know the “best Thai place” in any given town. Well, here in Columbia that place is Chim’s Thai Kitchen (3 local locations). Their menu is traditional Thai, and their chef uses family recipes that have yet to be surpassed by any competitor in Columbia.

“This is getting serious”: Anniversary? Birthday? If you need a fancy restaurant for those special occasions, Columbia has a few white-tablecloth joints worth mentioning. The Blufftop Bistro at Les Bourgeois Winery is a 15-minute drive west of town, but the view overlooking the Missouri River is gorgeous. You’re at a winery, so obviously they have wine covered. If you can get a reservation at sunset, you’re sure to score some brownie points with your ladyfriend. In downtown Columbia, Sycamore (800 E. Broadway) is a surefire winner. It’s been around for years, and offers an exceptional menu that (like many of our other favorite restaurants) uses local food sources. If you can’t afford the price tag for dinner, Sycamore has an affordable happy hour, so you can still get a taste of their amazing food. (Sugar here, chiming in as the token big butch lesbian of this city guide): Listen, I know some girls are into vegan, healthy food that comes from organic farms where each vegetable and chicken has a name and story to go along with it. Personally, my girl won me over by knowing where to get the best cut of beef in town. And that my friends, is CC’s City Broiler (1401 Forum Blvd), hands down. The candlelit tables provide just the right amount of light to see your fancy salad, loaded baked potato, and giant slab of meat, which can win over the heart over your carnivorous ladyfriend.

Still Hungry?

If there is such a thing as a gay ice cream shop, it’s Sparky’s (21 S. 9th Street). Walking inside is a uniquely Columbian experience. It has amazing, in-house made ice cream in tons of very unique flavors (lavender-honey, green tea, and last summer, even cicada ice cream). Sparky’s welcomes people from all walks of life, and its downtown location makes it the perfect place to get an ice cream and end the evening with a stroll around town. For the 21+ crowd, they offer “adult shakes,” which combine their delicious ice cream with delicious liquor. I think that’s what they call a “win-win.”

College Life

Columbia is pretty much dominated by the University of Missouri (better known as “Mizzou”). It’s the oldest public university west of the Mississippi River, so there’s plenty of tradition to be had. More than 33,000 students attend Mizzou, so they make their presence known in a city of about 100,000. With over 13,000 full-time employees at the university, it seems everyone in Columbia is connected to Mizzou.

Overall, the campus is very LGBTQ-friendly. There are a few students who come from homophobic places and bring some of that homophobia with them, but the overwhelming majority of students, staff, faculty, and administrators are welcoming to queers. The LGBTQ Resource Center is safe space to hang out or find someone to talk with, and they host a ton of events throughout the year. There are nine (nine!) LGBTQ-focused student organizations on campus, including one for graduate students that we started this year.

Stephens College is a small, 4-year women’s college on the edge of downtown Columbia. According to a current Stephens student, the campus is pretty queer-friendly. The college’s president is very welcoming and quick to squash any homophobic behavior. The open-minded professors contribute to the accepting nature of the whole community. “Unless you’re a boy,” she joked.

Columbia College is mostly a commuter school, so they lack some of the resources of the other residential schools in town. Word is that they are restarting their gay-straight alliance group and have a college president who is supportive of the queer community on campus.

“The District:” The Downtown Area

The heart of downtown Columbia is known as The District. It’s a great area to walk around, do some shopping, grab lunch, or go out with friends. I’ve always felt safe here, even when holding hands with a ladyfriend. Some areas can get very frat-y, especially when school is in session, but the bars to avoid are fairly obvious (Field House, Harpo’s, etc.). There are some apartments and lofts downtown, but as you’d expect, they come with a hefty price tag.

If you’re looking for a great, friendly neighborhood that’s close to downtown but more affordable, it’s the Benton-Stephens area. Located just on the other side of Stephens College, it’s full of adorable, older houses, community gardens, and young, hipster families and students. Mizzou is also very walkable from here. It’s a popular place to be – a friend of mine just sold their house in this neighborhood after one day on the market!

A bit farther away on the west side of downtown are the Old Southwest and West Ash/Broadway neighborhoods. Slightly cheaper than Benton-Stephens rentals, this area is still great. It’s an easy bike ride to downtown or campus, close to the farmers’ market, and very queer friendly. Most of the gay ladies I know live in this area (ourselves included).

Another area worth noting is the North Village Arts District. As the name suggests, it is (you guessed it) north of downtown, and (yes) full of art galleries, studios, and artists. There’s a weekly Farmers & Artisans market here on Sundays, and quarterly art crawls on Friday evenings. It’d be awesome to live in this area, but the rent is exorbitant by Columbia’s standards.

Queering Columbia

As we’ve mentioned, Columbia is a very progressive city. Residents and students are involved in all kinds of environmental, social justice, and political organizations. We are the only city in mid-Missouri that protects against discrimination in employment and housing based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Though it is not state-recognized, Columbia has a domestic partnership registry, which provides local benefits to registered couples. It may not do much legally, but it certainly helps queers know that they are welcomed here. PROMO is an active statewide organization working for LGBT equality through “legislative action, electoral politics, grassroots organizing, and community education,” and has been involved in helping to make Columbia what it is.

The Center Project (300 St. James Street #104) is “Mid-Missouri’s first and only lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning and ally community space.” TCP hosts a number of regular events, including PFLAG meetings, a bisexual support group, youth group, yoga, drop-in hours, and a great transgender support group that draws in people from across the state. They also throw the biggest gay dance party of the year each June, the Atomic Dance Party, where proceeds go toward keeping the doors of TCP open.

The Mid-Missouri PrideFest is held in Columbia each year. Usually in June, this is the first year it will be held in August. It has grown a lot over the past several years, and is now held downtown. We don’t know how the move to August will affect the festival attendance, but hopefully it is a positive change. It’s always a great time – and you can show off your super gay dog at the Gayest Dog Competition!

Places like TCP and events like PrideFest have shown me that overall, the G, L, B, and T communities here get along well together. The community as a whole is small enough in this city that we can’t afford not to. The only divide, if there is one, is a slight disconnect between the student groups and community-wide groups.

LGBTQ and Women’s Health Resources

The University of Missouri Medical School is awesome and gay-friendly. They are leading the way by training their students in how to address LGBTQ health needs. For Mizzou students, the University’s Student Health Center is amazing. They are great about using inclusive language on documents and promotional materials, and are even educating other university health centers on how to better help LGBTQ students.

With the recent closures of Planned Parenthood offices in Kansas, the still-standing Columbia office is now called “Planned Parenthood of Kansas and mid-Missouri.” I still remember seeing Columbia citizens actively “standing with Planned Parenthood” during that campaign last summer, so I know it’s not a resource that Columbians take for granted.

The Cultural Bubble of Columbia

Music Scene – I was pleasantly surprised when I moved here at the number of amazing cultural events Columbia has to offer. It may be a relatively small city, but even acts like the Indigo Girls, Wilco, and Matt Nathanson come to the Blue Note (17 N. 9th Street), the city’s main music venue. The biggest music event happens every fall: the Roots ‘n Blues ‘n BBQ Festival. If folk/blues music is your thing, this is the place to be. Some past headliners include the Carolina Chocolate Drops and Fitz and the Tantrums. This coming fall – it’s Al Green and Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes.

Visual Arts – Most of Columbia’s year-round galleries are in the aforementioned North Village Arts area or the District. There’s always art shows at Mizzou as well, and the yearly Art in the Park festival in Stephens Park, which brings in artists from around the region and nation every June.

Theater – A benefit of living in a college town is that between Mizzou, Stephens, and Columbia, there’s always a play or musical to see. There are also several local theater companies that contribute to Columbia’s theater arts scene, and many touring shows will make a stop at Jesse Auditorium on Mizzou’s campus.

Film – By far, the biggest and best art event in Columbia is the annual True/False Film Festival. It truly is internationally renowned. We know you love documentaries, and this is the place to see them. Just this past year, films like Undefeated (which won the Oscar for best documentary), Bully, and The Island President showed here. The filmmakers are almost always available for a Q&A session after the showings. This year, that included Morgan Spurlock (of Supersize Me fame), Daniel Lindsay & T.J. Martin (who brought their shiny new Oscar statue), and the students from Bully. I could really talk all day about how incredible this festival is, but you should probably just come see it for yourself.

I can’t think of enough superlatives to properly give Ragtag Cinema its due (10 Hitt Street). This nonprofit, community-supported art house movie theater shares space with the aforementioned Uprise Bakery, and the two play beautifully off each other. You can spend all day studying at Uprise, then grab a drink from the bar and take it into one of the movies showing at Ragtag. The two theaters have cozy couches and an intimate feel. Evenings here are always vibrant – full of patrons enjoying a drink before or after a show. The clientele is eclectic as well; this is the mecca of the Columbia hipster scene, and is super queer friendly. It makes for a fun place to play a game of “hipster or lesbian?”.

Feminism Is Fun

The best feminist organization in Columbia is the Women’s Center at Mizzou. They sponsor a ton of programs throughout the year, including Love Your Body events, Women’s History Month (including a women’s poetry night), and the wildly popular Vagina Monologues. The 2012 production had a cast of 118 women, and sold out a 1700 seat auditorium! The Women’s Center is also just a welcoming place to hang out, read a book from their extensive library, or browse one of their feminist magazines subscriptions.

The Citizen Jane Film Festival celebrates films created by women. Stephens College and Ragtag Cinema collaborate to bring in female filmmakers, producers, and writers from across the country to show their films at this annual event.

(Sugar here.) Columbia is represented in the roller derby community by the CoMo Derby Dames. This sport embraces the queer community – and women in general – more than any sport I’ve played or been a part of. What makes derby attractive to our community is pure feminism. The league is owned and operated by women, for women. While some sports attempt to masculinize women and force them to conform to a male-dominated standard of play, roller derby encourages women to embrace their femininity. The Dames practice 3 times a week, one of those practices is dedicated to teaching new players how to skate and play the game. They have bouts about once a month. If the Dames have a bout when you’re in town, it’s a must see for the action, empowerment, and (of course) the after-party.

Bookstores and Other Cool Places

Columbia’s farmers’ market (1701 W. Ash Street) is an essential part of my summer Saturday morning routine. The glut of produce options is a nice side effect of being in a city surrounded by farmland. The market is open several afternoons during the workweek, but the Saturday market is the cream of the crop (see what I did there?), with live music and a full host of vendors. If you overindulge on a Friday night, head to the Missouri Legacy Beef stand for a hot-off-the-grill bratwurst: the best hangover cure I’ve found yet.

The Peace Nook (804 E. Broadway) is an intriguing bookstore located in a basement in downtown CoMo. As far as bookstores for queers goes, it is to-die-for, with sections of LGBTQ fiction, foundational feminist theory, and everything in between. Their children’s section has a wide variety of books on topics like diversity and “alternative lifestyle” families. Peace Nook also offers a small section of eclectic and organic goods. Columbia residents love the fact that Peace Nook is a not-for-profit store, and it makes the shopper want to explore for hours.

Get Lost Bookshop (8 S. 9th Street) is just around the corner from the Peace Nook. Get Lost specializes in used books, and leans toward traditional genres such as autobiographies and best sellers. Their feminism, sexuality, and sociology sections are existent, but not necessarily a strong point of the store (you can find them on the bottom shelves in a corner). While I don’t feel the need to spend an entire day exploring Get Lost, it is a store I will always drop by when searching for a cheap copy of a good read.

Maude Vintage (818 E. Broadway) is your place for hipster clothing, queer accessories, and roller derby tickets. You can feel good about shopping here, too, since they actively support the local queer community.

Lizzi and Rocco’s Natural Pet Market (503 E. Nifong) is a sponsor of the annual Gayest Dog Competition at Pride, and they carry pride gear for pets year-round.

For your alternative lifestyle haircut, I highly recommend the stylists at Art of Hair (518 E. Broadway). The location (next to a tattoo parlor), the music (always upbeat and loud), and the stylists (who know what they’re doing) make it a place I love coming back to. The under-$35 price tag for a haircut doesn’t hurt, either.

You only need to know two names if you’re itching for some new body art in Columbia. If you are even considering getting pierced, you must go to Art of Hair’s neighbor, Living Canvas (520 E. Broadway). Their piercers are experienced and professional, and will thoroughly discuss options and techniques with you. There’s no better piercing experience in Columbia. If you are thinking about getting ink, head up the street to Iron Tiger Tattoo (11 N. 10th Street). Each artist specializes in custom tattoos and will work with you to find exactly the art you desire. I have yet to hear of unpleasant experiences from either of these businesses. Both of these shops are very open and welcoming to the queer community, which is a relief when you’re making a modification to your body.

The Great Outdoors

One of the perks of being surrounded by, well, nothing is that there are a ton of awesome places nearby for those of us that enjoy a walk in the woods. Rock Bridge State Park is only a ten-minute drive from the downtown area, but can make you feel many miles away from civilization. The MKT trail connects Columbia to the much longer Katy Trail, the country’s longest rails-to-trails path that follows the Missouri River across most of the state. Popular rides include day trips to nearby Rocheport (home of Les Bourgeois Winery) or Cooper’s Landing, a local hangout that offers camping, fishing, music, bbq, and a Chim’s Thai Kitchen location. Everyone I know who frequents Cooper’s Landing says the same thing: you will see “all walks of life” there every weekend. It is refreshing to show up to a small, midwestern local hangout and see families and groups that represent the diverse world we live in.

Queer Girl City Guide: Saratoga Springs, NY

If you’ve ever been to the Empire State, chances are you’ve been to one place: Manhattan. There’s no doubt The City is a haven for queers, but if you venture upstate you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by everything else that New York has to offer.

Saratoga Springs, NY, is roughly four hours north of Manhattan. I was born and raised in Saratoga and I’ve come to love its unique vibe. Saratoga lacks the frenzied bustle of a big city, but it’s somehow both lively and laid-back at the same time. It is the epitome of the quintessential northeastern town: easy-going, liberal and gay-friendly.

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LGBT Nightlife

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Although Saratoga doesn’t have its own gay bar, queers seemed to have adopted Karaoke Nights on the first, third and fifth Saturdays at Circus Cafe (329 Broadway).

Another bar in Saratoga worth visiting is Tin ‘n’ Lint (2 Caroline Street). Caroline Street is the epicenter of nightlife in Saratoga, with multiple bars clustered onto one short stretch, but Tin ‘n’ Lint stands out from its competitors. It’s a tiny, grungy little dive bar known for its cheap drinks and eccentric history. Its walls are covered with photographs and memorabilia with peoples’ names carved into the wood. Although the legend has dissolved recently, for years it was rumored that Don McLean wrote his famous song, “America Pie,” on a napkin in the bar.

Some of that history holds up one block over, at Caffé Lena (47 Phila Street), where Don McLean was a resident singer. The folk music cafe has also hosted Bob Dylan, Ani DiFranco and Arlo Guthrie. It’s especially popular among local indie singers and is also a venue for the Saratoga ArtsFest, a week-long festival in June celebrating music, dance, visual art, film and theatre.

Head forty minutes south of Saratoga to New York’s capital, Albany, and you’ll find a surprisingly high concentration of gay bars. Rocks (77 Central Avenue) is one of the most popular venues, particularly because of its full calendar of events and friendly staff. Although it tends to be more popular with men, it was recently renovated and now has a large dance floor.

Right across the street from Rocks is Waterworks, Albany’s original gay bar. It tends to be balanced in terms of men and women, but it draws more lesbians than its neighbors and also attracts a younger crowd. The two-story set-up, with “The Pub” on the first floor and “The Club” upstairs, contributes to the bar’s dynamic atmosphere.

One block down the street from Rocks and Waterworks is Fuze Box, a club popular among both men and women. One of Fuze Box’s most popular events is Therapy Thursday, an 18+ dance party. Although the event draws a wild crowd mostly comprised of local college students, Fuze Box has tightened its security policies recently, breathalyzing before entry and sometimes after.

Oh Bar (304 Lark Street), offers a more relaxed vibe than Rocks, Waterworks or Fuze Box. Lark Street itself has a great neighborhood feel, with book stores, coffee shops and ethnic restaurants. Oh Bar is in tune with that scene. Although it’s smaller than the other gay bars in Albany, it has the feeling of a “lounge” or a neighborhood bar where friends gather. It’s certainly not a rowdy dance club, but gays and lesbians alike enjoy its welcoming atmosphere.

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Performing Arts and Arts Groups

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Saratoga Performing Arts Center, located within the Saratoga Spa State Park–which is famous for its mineral springs–is another hallmark of the city. In addition to hosting the New York City Ballet and the Philadelphia Orchestra each summer, SPAC is also (in)famous for its rowdy Live Nation concerts. Many bands return to SPAC year after year, including Phish, O.A.R., The Allman Brothers, and Dave Matthews Band.

Yaddo, located just outside of the Saratoga’s downtown, is a 400 acre artists’ colony devoted to providing retreats for writers, photographers, musicians and other visual artists. The gardens, however, are open to the public, and the rose garden, fountains, and pathways are rich with history. The estate dates back to the late 1800’s, and Yaddo is even rumored to be haunted by members of the Trask family, who lived in the Yaddo mansion before it was turned into an artists’ colony. Edgar Allen Poe even stayed at Yaddo when it was operating as a gristmill and tavern, and legend has it he wrote part of “The Raven” while staying there.

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Restaurants and Coffee Shops

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Uncommon Grounds (402 Broadway), is a coffee shop located in the center of town. There’s always an eclectic crowd there, and it’s a great place for both getting work done and hanging out. With great art on the walls, awesome bagel sandwiches and gourmet coffee, it’s become a Saratoga mainstay. Oh, and be sure to try their hummus!

One of the smaller cafés in town, Saratoga Coffee Traders (447 Broadway) is known for its fair-trade, organic coffee. They also have lots of speciality drinks to choose from, in addition to a delicious selection of sandwiches and paninis. Nestled in the back of the shop, but impossible to ignore, is a retro candy bar, which adds to the café’s unique flavor.

Stroll down Broadway, Saratoga’s main street, and you’ll see that Saratoga has a surprising number of ice cream places. However, Johnny’s Gourmet Italian Ices (382 Broadway) is newer to the block, and it’s one of the only places in town with a wide selection of vegan ice cream flavors that actually taste better than most non-vegan ice cream I’ve had.

A great choice for late-night food, Esperanto (6 1/2 Caroline Street) is located right near the bars. To accommodate that crowd, it’s open until 3:30 a.m. on the weekends. “Espo’s,” as it is called, has food from all over the world at fantastically cheap prices. Their falafel is one of my favorites, but meat-eaters rave about Espo’s signature creaturion, The Dough-Boy, a pizza dough roll with sauteed chicken breast, cheese and scallions. As for me, I’m a fan of the vegetarian version, which is named appropriately: The Dough-Girl.

Four Seasons (33 Phila Street) is quite literally a vegetarian’s paradise. With an expansive selection of organic groceries, it also has a buffet with lots of great vegan and vegetarian options. The menu changes daily, and their smoothies are a must-try.

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Purchases and Pompadours

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Magic Moon (15 Phila Street) calls itself a “unique metaphysical boutique.” Along with incense, herbs, and smoking accessories, you’ll find a smattering of pro-equality merchandise, too, like rainbow stickers and pins. It’s an eclectic little store, but definitely fun to browse through. 

Swagger is a relatively new establishment in Saratoga, but it definitely fills the niche for edgy haircuts. Technically a barbershop, Swagger also offers women’s haircuts starting at $31. Swagger rocks a cool, retro interior, and patrons who are 21+ enjoy a complimentary can of PBR. Can’t get much better than that in a hair salon.

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Sports

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Most people who know and love Saratoga associate it with one main feature: horse racing. The Saratoga Race Course has been attracting tourists every summer since 1863, when it first opened. Saratoga itself is rich with Victorian history, which all stems from the race track. The races start in late July and continue until early September. If you’ve never been, you know that it’s an experience for sure, one that has continued to define Saratoga. It’s also the reason why the population shoots up in the summer as people from all over the country come to watch the Thoroughbreds run.

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College Life

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A short walk from Saratoga’s downtown area is Skidmore College, a small liberal arts college. It was founded in the early 1900’s as a women’s college, and didn’t begin admitting men until 1971. In many ways, the sentiment still remains. For one, it has a really strong gender studies program. Not only is Skidmore’s student body over 60% female, but, the college is extremely open and accepting. Skidmore’s LGBTQ group, Pride Alliance, has a significant presence on campus, and the college is adamant about offering gender-neutral housing to all students who are interested in it.

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Support for LGBT Families

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The Bridge is the LGBTQ community council for the region surrounding Saratoga. The organization offers meet-ups, such as Ladies’ Night Out and Lesbian Brunches, as well as support services for LGBTQ individuals and families in northern New York. The Bridge also sponsors free yoga and zumba classes for LGBTQ families every month at Bliss Yoga Studio in Glens Falls, which is only about twenty minutes from Saratoga.

Saratoga Pride is an organization committed to uniting the LGBTQ community in the Capital Region. They consistently update a calendar of LGBTQ events in the area, including cocktail nights, lesbian networking events, meet & greets and gay bowling.

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Gay Pride

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Capital Pride Center, the LGBTQ community center for Albany and the surrounding cities, hosts Capital Pride week at the end of May. The 11-day festival includes the parade in Albany, as well as an art show, a youth prom, comedy night, family events, and parties at the local LGBTQ night clubs.

Queer Girl City Guide: Denver, CO

Denver, Colorado. You are great. You are gay. I love you, sweet city.

I moved to Denver in the fall of 2010, came out a year later (what can I say? I love mountains! Get it?) and started learning about the LGBTQ culture of my beautiful new home.

A couple of months ago, my veteran lesbian girlfriend realized that we sucked at hanging out with the queer folk, so we decided to do something about it. We made it our mission to seek out all the cool queer hangouts in Denver and now I’m here to share that all that knowledge with you.

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All The Bars

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Charlie’s (900 East Colfax Avenue) This bar will cover not only the queers in your life who love two-steppin’ to some country, but also those who just want to shake their ass in scantily clad clothing. It’s split into two, hosts karaoke and dance lessons and everywhere you turn there’s a cute lady!

Recommended: Saturdays here are always bumpin’. I rarely make it there (see churches below) but when I can, it’s always a treat.

There Urban Whiskey Bar (1526 East Colfax Avenue)/X Bar (629 East Colfax Avenue) There Urban Whiskey Bar (formerly known as tHERe Coffee Bar & Lounge) and its former sister bar, Her Bar (which has also been renamed X Bar) are going another round in fighting the good fight. I’ve heard they’re not quite as top-notch as they used to be, but still. Cheap drinks and lesbians. Win.

Black Crown Lounge (1446 South Broadway) Located behind Black Crown Antiques in Denver’s South Broadway antique district, Black Brown Lounge does not disappoint. It hosts a gorgeous interior and two lush, garden-esque outdoor patios. This place screams sexy first date, and is my favorite lady bar of the bunch.

Hamburger Mary’s (700 East 17th Avenue) A small chain of 12 restaurants, Hamburger Mary’s hosts Drag Queen Bingo, Mary-oke, and Dream Girls Cabaret Drag Shows. Mary’s is definitely a fun place to start off a night on the town.

Sputnik (3 South Broadway) Are you a queer lady who loves hipsters? Then Sputnik is the bar for you. It’s got cheap drinks, tasty appetizers and the very best people watching. It’s in a pretty cool part of town and there’s a photo booth too, so come prepared to say cheese!

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Dancing In The Dark

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Tracks (3500 Walnut Street) So. There’s this thing called First Friday in Denver. Most people hear it and think of the Santa Fe Art District Art Walk, a beautiful, artsy evening filled with galleries and artists. When the LGBTQ community hears it, we think of Tracks. LGBTQ group Babes Around Denver hosts First Friday at Tracks, home to THOUSANDS OF SWEATY QUEER LADIES DANCING IN A FEW BIG ROOMS. I put it in caps so you can shout it in your head. I personally love me some Tracks. There are different rooms for different tastes: 80’s, rap, and Top 40 and a even twinkly-lit smoker’s patio (with its own bar!). Not to mention cute. Girls. Everywhere. Genderqueer, butch, femme, and everything in between.

Rock Bar (3015 East Colfax Avenue) I have to laugh as I type this. Rock Bar is so dingy and gross at 8 pm that you’d question even going in but I swear to you, after a few beers and a few hour’s time, Rock Bar transforms into a super secret awesome queer dance party! It’s an odd mix of super straight frat bros and queers though, so if you’re not into that don’t go there. Be ready to dance and drink cheaply, because this bar is straight out of your college town!

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Eat Yourself Full

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Watercourse (837 East 17th Avenue)/City, O’ City (206 East 13th Avenue) Vegetarian or vegan? Queer? Love secretly cruising on cute girls whilst nonchalantly talking with friends? Both of these lovely sister restaurants are for you! The tastiest food and definitely most consistent, hands down. Watercourse is more sit-down, third-date, and City O is hanging with pals, first-date.

Vine Street Pub (1700 Vine Street)/Mountain Sun (1535 Pearl Street Boulder, CO)/Southern Sun (627 South Broadway Street Boulder, CO) I am in love with Vine Street Pub. Probably because it’s a block away from my house and does a $3.50 grilled cheeses. Its parent restaurant, Mountain Sun (and sibling restaurant Southern Sun) is located in Boulder. Not to mention: they brew all their own beers, and they all rock!

Highland Tap and Burger (2219 West 32nd Avenue) I wouldn’t say this is a queer establishment, but when my girlfriend and I went there, we realized that there were lesbians everywhere. It’s your basic American burger joint with the flavor turned way up.

Racines (650 Sherman Street) Racines is a Denver staple, located off of Speer Boulevard right outside of downtown. They’ve won awards for Top Gay & Lesbian Watching, Most Popular Gay Dining Destination, and Outstanding American Cuisine. They’re definitely family-friendly! Kiddos are all over this place, so if that’ll make your hangover worse, maybe steer clear.

King Sooper’s (1155 East 9th Avenue) I know this is weird, having a grocery store on this list. But this King Sooper’s location is known as Queen Sooper’s in the LGBTQ world. I think half of the people only shop there to search for other cute queers. Delightful.

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Sports

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Denver Area Tennis Enthusiasts (DATE) With a cute name like that, who could say no? DATE sponsors the Gay and Lesbian Tennis Association’s Rocky Mountain Open every year and their season runs May through August.

Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League Twenty teams (that’s 280 slots!) for all the rough and tumble you desire.

OUT Spokin’ Denver’s LGBTQ bicycle club. Also does philanthropy!

Denver Area Softball League Okay, their website is kind of a mess, but the DASL is an LGBTQ-friendly league that has both open league and women’s league. And that’s pretty legit.

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Hangouts and Gayborhoods

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St. Mark’s Coffeehouse/Thin Man Tavern (2019 East 17th Avenue) These guys are a conjoined twin hipster coffee shop/bar. You can get work done while scoping people out, then switch over and meet friends for a drink.

Fun fact: I’m writing this article at their outside patio with my dog right now!

Denver Bicycle Café (1308 East 17th Avenue) The cutest girls work here. They’ve got cheap coffee, cheap food, cheap beer, AND you can get your bike fixed!

Stella’s Coffeehaus (1476 South Pearl Street) Full of DU graduate students studying and a great place to just read a book and talk about life. Cute patio with heat lamps for the fall in a cute neighborhood. Cute.

Paris on the Platte (1553 Platte Street) I assume all people love cheese the way I do, so I’m going to point out that they have a killer cheese plate selection. I’ve been here for work meetings over coffee, drinks with old friends and to watch my girlfriend play a set. Their open mic has some of Denver’s best talent; check it out on Monday nights!

Gypsy House (1279 Marion Street) I went here with fellow Autostraddler Vanessa on a blind friend date…with each other. It was awesome. We sat outside, talked about how hard it is to meet queer ladies (you can’t just go up and be like “Hi! I think you look like a cool lesbian. I’m completely basing this off of your nail length and tattoos. Want to be my friend? I promise I’m not insane!”) and then stared at cute girls walking dogs for the afternoon. It was beautiful. Now we’re awkward pals together and nothing could be better.

City Park, Washington Park, Cheesman Park These are both neighborhoods that are gay-friendly and parks, all in one! Here’s the thing about Denver: when you’re in the shade, it’s legitimately like, 20 degrees cooler (no humidity!) So on a hot day, head over with some friends and get your picnic on and get some courage to ask the cute girl tossing a Frisbee to join you. I promise that you won’t be disappointed.

Dog parks (All. Over!) I think that dog parks are pretty much the best place to find yourself a cool queer chick any time of the day. The one closest to my house in City Park boasts some friendly doggies and friendlier ladies. I’d aim for 9:30 am and 5:30 pm when sun’s not blistering.

Open Spaces (Surrounding the greater Denver area) Open spaces are awesome. They’re huge parks where you can let your dog off leash, walk around, run the perimeter…anything. Colorado is super fit, in case you haven’t heard, so if you’re looking for fun with your pals, I’d recommend hitting up anything outdoors. If it’s your first time in high altitudes, stick with open spaces before deciding to climb a 14,000 foot mountain. You’ll thank me later. Also, WATER.

Breweries Denver has so many breweries that are queer-friendly that I can’t even begin to list them all. But if you’re a beer drinker, I’d recommend checking them out. If whiskey’s more of your thing, Stranahan’s does tours as well!

Concert Venues Again, Denver is known for the music scene. There’s downtown music and not too far outside of the city is the famous Red Rocks Amphitheater. My favorite park about Red Rocks is that you can go there during the day to hike. Some people even run up and down the theater steps which is suspect had something to do with enjoying when their lungs live in their throats or something.

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College Life

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Denver University My girlfriend’s alma mater, Denver University has a very public Pride Portal, for “LGBTIQA-related sites” and their Center for Multicultural Excellence hosts events for the queer community

Iliff School of Theology This is where I’m scoring my Masters of Arts in Social Change! Iliff is known as an all-inclusive community, with queers just plain everywhere. FLAME is the group for LGBTQ students and allies and the Social Action Committee brought in the beautiful Rev. Amy DeLong.

Colorado University Boulder There’s a huge student network of clubs for the queer folk here, including QPOC (Queer People of Color), QWIC (Queer Women in Community), and Biphoria. Cheers, Boulder!

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Churches

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Denver and Boulder are known for their open and affirming churches. Well, at least they are to me. Here are a few that I’ve either attended or heard great things about:

First United Methodist Church – Boulder (1426 Spruce Street, Boulder)  This is my church! My amazing girlfriend works here as the Family Life Ministry Director, which is what made me start going, but two weeks in I knew I had found my home church. It’s pretty much the coolest. It’s open and affirming and, as of this year, performs LGBTQ marriages!

Christ Congregational UCC (2500 South Sheridan Blvd) The UCC is known for usually being open and affirming. If you haven’t been to church in a while, I hear this is a great place to start!

House for All Sinners and Saints ELCA (2201 Dexter Street, inside of St. Thomas Episcopal Church) With a name like that, why wouldn’t you try it? Started by an Iliff student, the church now has hundreds who attend. They rocked a chocolate fountain in the baptismal font for Easter, they do a blessing of bikes, and they have something called Beer & Hymns. Amazing.

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Queer Centers

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The Center (1301 East Colfax Avenue) The Center is the third-oldest LGBT community center in the United States and lives up to their legacy by  hosting really awesome events year-round!

Out Front Colorado (3535 Walnut Street) One of the oldest-running queer magazines in the country, Out Front appears at events and hosts them as well. Any time you see an Out Front photographer where you are, you know you’re in the know. You know?

One Colorado (1245 East Colfax Avenue, Ste 204) One Colorado is the group that’s on the Hill, causing a ruckus in hopes of making a change in legislation for us queers here in Denver and across Colorado. This nonprofit seems to do it all — they work for anti-bullying in schools and support fair-minded legislators across the state.

Gender Identity Center of Colorado (1151 South Huron Street) The GIC provides support, outreach and advocacy for all forms of gender expression, including but not limited to cross dressers, those who identify as transgender, and everything else. They provide support groups and therapists as well!

HipChicksOut There’s First Friday…and then there’s Second Friday. HipChicksOut does a fantastic job of having ladies night events across Denver. They take over bars and clubs that aren’t usually considered queer and throw a big old gay party. Cheers to that!

Denver is a fantastic place to be queer. It took me moving here to come out publicly and it was the best decision of my life. I am always 100% comfortable in who I am, where I am and what I’m doing here as a queer woman and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you’re thinking of coming for a visit, come find me! I will probably be at any of those places above, orrrr hanging out on my front porch drinking whiskey. You’ll know me when you see me, I promise.

Queer Girl City Guide: Richmond, VA

I feel like the state of Virginia has earned itself a bad reputation. From our horrific and embarrassing Transvaginal Ultrasound Bill to the controversy caused back in 2010 by Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli’s awful, discrimination encouraging letter, Virginia comes off as a cultural hellhole where our daily life is ripped from the pages of poorly written Margaret Atwood fan-fiction. But the city of Richmond is the antithesis of everything terrible you’ve ever heard about Virginia. I’ve been here for over four years now, and I can tell you in complete honesty that RVA is, hands down, one of the gayest cities in the American South. It’s like a big Queer oasis surrounded by a desert of red state. The only real problem with Richmond’s LGBTQ scene is that nobody outside of the city knows we’re even here. This guide is just a taste of what the 804 has to offer.

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Word On The Street: RVA’S Chillest Neighborhoods

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The Fan District is located in the heart of the city and is the largest area in all of metropolitan Richmond. Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) is situated in the center of the district so the Fan is one of the safer areas to live due to the university police presence. Housing in this area ranges from very expensive to very reasonable, depending on what you’re looking for in an apartment or townhouse.

Oregon Hill is an area mostly populated by VCU students, so if you’re young and you’re looking for a house party, it’s where you should be. Housing here is particularly affordable (if you like having roommates) and there are a lot of incredibly cute places for rent in the area. One downside is that Oregon is home to some of the worst sidewalks in the entire city which is really saying something because Richmond is famous for it’s shitty, uneven brick pathways that somehow never get fixed. (Do NOT attempt to wear heels in this city. Ever.)

Carytown is a shopping district that hosts a wide selection of cool stores, clubs and restaurants. It’s my favorite place in the entire city to do my Christmas shopping because you can literally find anything and everything here. One of the coolest parts of the neighborhood has to be the Byrd Theater. It’s this insanely beautiful old school movie theater that screens second-run movies for two dollars a ticket. Every spring, the theater hosts Richmond’s annual French Film Festival.

Shockoe Slip is definitely the fanciest and most expensive area of Richmond, but it’s where you should go if you’re looking for a ritzy night on the town. Most of RVA’s Fortune 500 companies are based in this area, so naturally the stores and bars are a little out of the price range of your typical twenty-something. There are a couple of great places in Shockoe, namely Siné Irish Pub and The Canal Walk, but Queers be warned: a lot of the bars and clubs in this area are not exactly LGBTQ friendly.

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Rams Nation: Virginia Commonwealth University

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Richmond is totally and completely run by VCU. With a student body of 30,000 that keeps growing every year, it’s Virginia’s biggest state school by a landslide. If you pay any attention to the March Madness tournament, then you’ve already heard about VCU and our eternal God-King of college basketball, Shaka Smart. But Virginia Commonwealth University is also legendary in the community for providing a safe space for its LGBTQ students and faculty. VCU’s Department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies sponsors most of the university’s LGBTQ programs and outreach, including our biggest organization, Queer Action. The department is also active in international outreach programs, most recently in India.

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Let’s Get Shitfaced: Richmond’s Best Bars, Queer Or Otherwise

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Before we dive into Richmond’s bar scene, it’s important to mention that the official beer of the city is PBR. Seriously. There’s a running joke in the 804 that PBR actually stands for the “People’s Beer of Richmond.” No, I’m not kidding. We have shirts and everything.

Godfrey’s (308 East Grace Street) is probably the most famous gay bar in the area because of their legendary Sunday Drag Brunch. Wednesday’s College Hump Night is very popular with the VCU crowd because you get in free before 10PM with a student ID. The drinks can get expensive, and the drag performances that happen throughout the night will cut into your dancing time, but Godfrey’s is still worth checking out.

Babe’s of Carytown (3166 W. Cary Street) is a close second in fame and reputation when it comes to Richmond gay bars. It’s one of the top spots for Richmond lesbians mainly because it’s been around forever. Babe’s doesn’t draw much of the young college crowd because it’s 21+ to get in, but that just means you won’t have to deal with seeing freshmen puking up 4Loko every time you go to the bathroom.

Balliceaux (203 N. Lombardy Street) isn’t really considered as a gay bar most of the time, but every few weeks or so, the bar hosts an event called BEARD: A Queer Dance Party and it’s steadily becoming the hottest LGBTQ party scene in the entire city. If you’re coming to Richmond and you’re into dancing, you absolutely can’t miss out on BEARD.

Cellar Door (1600 Monument Avenut #B2) is by far my favorite Richmond bar that isn’t a gay bar. It’s located in the basement of an apartment complex, so the parties they host aren’t huge ragers like the ones you see at Balliceaux. If it’s getting late and you’re looking for cheap drinks and a calmer atmosphere to end your night, Cellar Door is your destination.

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Eat Your Heart Out: Restaurants And Cafes For Great Dates

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Sticky Rice (2232 W. Main Street) is a phenomenal Asian fusion restaurant near the Carytown area with a major cult following. It’s not the most authentic sushi joint in the city, but it sure as hell has the perfect atmosphere for a fun dinner date. (If you get their logo tattooed somewhere on your body, then you can have $1 PBRs for life. I actually know people who have done this.) If you’re here on a date, you should order one of their giant maki rolls (the Godzirra Roll is orgasmic) but be sure to split it with your lady friend because their portions are HUGE.

Ipanema (917 Grace Street) is a popular vegan/vegetarian restaurant that’s unique because like Cellar Door, it’s located in a dark basement. There’s a small but cute outdoor seating section that’s great for lunch but usually too crowded for dinner. The vibe at Ipanema is incredibly romantic, and their Mexican Chocolate Pie is literally the best thing I’ve ever eaten.

Harrison St. Café (402 N.  Harrison Street) is my favorite place to get a cup of coffee. It’s great first date territory because everything is really affordable and like Ipanema, the café caters to vegans and vegetarians. (One thing you should know about Richmond is that there are a ton of places that are accommodating to different diets. You can easily find vegan/gluten-free/locally grown/etc. versions of every type of food.) The upstairs area of the café is surprisingly cozy and perfect for days when you want to just chill with a cappuccino and read a good book.

Cook Out (4802 Broad Street) gets an honorable mention in the restaurants category because even though it’s technically a chain, it’s exclusive to the Virginia/Tennessee/Carolina region. The best thing about Cook Out is that it’s open until 4AM and you get a stupid amount of food for next to no money. It’s the kind of place where you can get a corn dog as a side dish. Is it trashy? Sure, but that’s why it’s good.

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Shopaholic: Where To Blow Your Money

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Rumors (732 W. Broad Street) is a consignment boutique specializing in the resale of branded clothing and other cool shit that you can put on your body. You can get some seriously great deals and you can also sell them your own unwanted apparel for money or store credit. (Protip: Take the store credit. There will ALWAYS be at least one thing you want to buy in the store)

Diversity Thrift (1407 Sherwood Avenue) is one of Richmond’s biggest and best thrift stores with a strong tie to the LGBTQ community. Located at the Gay Community Center of Richmond, Diversity uses the proceeds from its sales to support several non-profit Queer organizations in the city. It’s incredibly easy to find Diversity thanks to the bigass rainbow painted on the side of the building. It’s the best place to go if you’re looking for something specific and obscure, like one of those multicolor 90s windbreaker jackets.

Plan 9 (3012 W. Cary Street) is the sickest store located in the heart of Carytown that specializes in new and used CDs, DVDs and records. Vinyl is huge in RVA, and Plan 9 has the best selection of records in the entire city. Besides selling and buying CDs and LPs, the store is one of the biggest sponsors of the Richmond Folk Festival and they frequently host in-store shows for local musicians.

Fine Food Market (700 Idlewood Avenue) is Richmond’s best bodega, no contest. Located in Oregon Hill, the store hosts an enormous selection of import and domestic beers, wines, and of course, malt liquor. Their grocery section is much more extensive than your typical locally owned convenience store, but the guys who run it are some of the coolest dudes in the whole city.

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Paint Me Like One Of Your French Girls: Culture And Entertainment

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The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts (200 N. Boulevard) is the perfect place to spend a Sunday afternoon when you’re flat broke and in need of culture. With a diverse collection of galleries featuring pieces from prolific artists such as Andy Warhol, Georgia O’Keefe, Claude Monet and many, many more, the VMFA has everything you could ever want from an art gallery. If I could, I would live in their Art Deco/Art Noveau gallery and never, ever leave (except to get a cup of coffee and one of those divine little tiramisu cakes from the museum’s café.)

First Fridays is an art walk that takes place on Richmond’s Broad Street every first Friday of the month. Local galleries host exhibitions and cultural enrichment programs, such as music performances, burlesque shows and wine tasting events. The best-known and most loved hot spot for FF is Gallery 5, located just off Broad Street.

Belle Isle is RVA’s number one go-to spot for cooling down in the swamp-ass inducing summer heat. Located in the middle of the James River, the island offers you the perfect place for swimming, kayaking, and straight up chilling. Even though Richmond has strict open container laws (Boo!) most people come with a cooler of PBR and sit out on the rocks by the river. Belle Isle is located in Oregon Hill, and is nearby another choice Richmond landmark, Hollywood Cemetery.

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We’re Here, We’re Queer: Activism And Outreach In RVA

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Fan Free Clinic (1010 N. Thompson Street) is our oldest free clinic that specializes in outreach for the LGBTQ community. Located in Richmond’s Fan District, the FFC offers many great services such as: women’s healthcare, immunizations, adult and pediatric medicine and sexual health education. Fan Free is also notable for being very Transgender-friendly; they offer specialized medical and counseling services for Trans people in the community and they have a wonderful reputation with the RVA Queer family.

Southerners On New Ground is an organization with a strong membership basis in Richmond that is dedicated to fighting legislation which negatively affects LGBTQ persons in the American South. SONG also works for the rights of immigrants and other Southerners who are otherwise disenfranchised or oppressed by their communities. The organization also does outreach in Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and South Carolina.

Girls Rock RVA is one of Richmond’s newest outreach organizations, but it’s also one of the most exciting! Girls Rock hosts an annual summer music camp for girls and gender non-conforming youth between the ages of eight and fourteen. Their mission is to “facilitate a space in Richmond that empowers girls to collaborate creatively in an environment of mutual respect and positive self-expression.”  The campers are given creative freedom to form their own bands and write songs for a performance at the end of the camp.

ROSMY is a youth advocacy and support group for LGBTQ teens and young adults. They offer several counseling programs and outreach facilities, including a special toll-free support hotline that takes calls 24/7. One of their most notable outreach programs is their Alternative Prom, which is held every spring and caters to Queer youth who otherwise don’t feel comfortable or safe attending their own proms. ROSMY also provides educational programs for the family members of LGBTQ youth.

Richmond is a city with a lot to offer. Whether you’re into chugging PBR until the sun comes up, or if you’re looking for a calmer and enriching experience, there’s literally anything and everything you could ask for in the 804. Special thanks to Danny Caporaletti for providing the photography, and thanks to my Richmond Queer family for their input!

Queer Girl City Guide: There’s No Place Like NOLA

I’ve lived in New Orleans for three years. My first memory of the city is my mother telling me, as a child, that we couldn’t stay in the hotels in the French Quarter because that’s where all the homosexuals were. Two decades later, I’m proud to count myself as one of them. What can I say? This city has a magical pull.

How can I explain how insanely queer this city is? I’ll try my best. Breaking down roles, recreating identities, writing our own stories, and celebrating the uniqueness of our culture is ingrained in the essence of NOLA. The city is incredibly diverse; the culture of the city grows out of African and Caribbean, French creole, German, and Spanish influences. There’s a thriving young queer and trans population, and the African-American LGBT community may be one of the largest in the U.S. You might not find the typical gay things in New Orleans — we don’t have a big, flashy Pride, for instance. But we have sissy bounce. We have Southern Decadence. We have Krewe du Vieux. Stop by and say hello. I promise to show you what Southern hospitality really means.

When the Saints Come Marching In: Festivals and Fun

The New Orleans social calendar is a smorgasboard. No matter what time of year you visit the city, you’re pretty much guaranteed to find a festival or a parade. NOLA also has no open container laws and no laws requiring bars to close. You can always find a bar that doesn’t have a last call, and every bar and restaurant has “go-cups,” plastic cups to take your beer out the door with you. Magical!

Of course, I can’t mention New Orleans without talking about Mardi Gras. Carnival season starts on Epiphany, January 6th (the first day of king cake!), and goes through Ash Wednesday, when the police sweep the streets and everyone enters a city-wide hangover known to the Catholics as Lent. The first Carnival parade and my personal favorite, Krewe du Vieux, takes place two weeks before Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday”). Krewe du Vieux is a hypersexualized, satirical parade through the French Quarter; it’s definitely the most overtly queer event of the season.

The Carnival parades stretch over three weekends, building to the crescendo of five-day, non-stop partying that is Mardi Gras weekend. You won’t see boobs outside of Bourbon Street, but everywhere you go, you will see costumes, more beads than you know what to do with, and fantastic house parties. Carnival has historically been a safe space for queerness, gender-bending, sexual freedom, and identity de-construction.

Spring in New Orleans brings St. Patrick’s Day parades, the Mardi Gras Indians, the Tennessee Williams Literary Festival, and French Quarter Festival, all of which deserve a page of writing to themselves. I can’t skip over a mention of the Gay Easter Parade on Easter Day, when horse-drawn carriages of queers in fabulous hats parade through the Quarter. (Points if you can name the musical reference!) And then there’s the biggest festival of all: New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Fest offering seven days of local and internationally-known artists with 75,000 of your new best friends. During Jazz Fest, every venue in town hosts music, so even if you can’t afford the pricey entrance tickets, you’ll find crowds to dance with until the wee hours of the morning. Check out the plethora of venues on lower Frenchman Street and One-Eyed Jacks any time of year for some of the best live music in town.

Though most of the city slows down for the summer heat, there are a few major events during the hot months. The summer season kicks off with Essence Fest in early July, bringing together some of the best African-American musical artists and fashionistas from across the country, along with Bayou Bougaloo, a Mid-City free neighborhood festival with a plastic duck race in Bayou St. John. The Running of the Bulls in July is a knock-off of Pamplona, featuring roller derby girls from local teams as the “bulls.”

In October we gear up for Halloween, one of the biggest holidays in New Orleans. The three-day Voodoo Music Experience brings thousands of visitors to the city. But Halloween night is best spent on Frenchman Street, where locals stake out a spot to drink, show off costumes, and celebrate the chance to become anyone else under the cover of darkness.

Rolling on the River: Neighborhoods of Interest

Every neighborhood in New Orleans has its own charm and flavor. The Marigny, Bywater, Mid City, and French Quarter are perhaps most gay-friendly/inclusive, though to be fair, I live in Uptown, and I’m hella attached to my hood and all the queers in it. The city is relatively affordable for a major urban area, though to be honest the cost of living mirrors the lower wages and primarily service-industry economy. Life in NOLA is more expensive than most areas of Louisiana, but has dramatically cheaper cost of living than the East or West coast. Most everywhere in New Orleans is queer-friendly, though there are a few places to avoid, like the frat/college bars around Tulane/Loyola Universities and Bourbon Street.

I can’t emphasize how much I am not a fan of Bourbon Street. The beers are overpriced, the bars are corporate, the food is tourist-marketed, and the bar fights suck. There are hundreds of fantastic, fun bars and restaurants in this city — don’t settle for Bourbon Street. If you do visit Bourbon, head toward the gay end — St. Ann & Bourbon St. — where three gay bars (Napoleon’s Itch, Bourbon Pub & Parade, and Oz) converge on the corner. These are gay mens’ bars that are usually hit-or-miss for women, but you’ll be safer with queer brothers than anywhere else on Bourbon.

A super important note about safety: New Orleans is notorious for crime. While I wouldn’t let that deter you from visiting or choosing to live here, I would tell you not to wander alone at night. There’s no “safe” and “unsafe” areas. Travel in groups, be aware of your surroundings, know your neighbors, and don’t get too intoxicated to find your way home.

A note for transgender and gender non-conforming peeps: Bathrooms can an issue in NOLA. Take a friend with you for safety, or try one of the local (non-chain) coffee shops for gender-neutral/unisex bathrooms.

New Orleans Ladies: Bars and Nightlife

Tribute: The only true lesbian bar in town, which actually sits outside the city limits in Metairie (which does have open container laws). Open only on Friday and Saturday night, Tribute is best for special events — drag king shows, traveling artists, and the occasional lube wrestling competition. Think old-school dyke bar, and you’ve got the right image in mind.

The Allways Lounge and Theatre: A de-facto queer bar hosting drag shows, queer burlesque, all manner of music, arm wrestling matches, erotica, comedy, and anything else that requires a stage and an audience. The theater, an intimate room (read: sweaty in the summertime, just like we like it) is utilized for quieter musical sets and slightly more formal theatrical performances. Pun alert: there is always something happening at the Allways.

Club Fusions: Queer Hip hop bar/club open on Saturdays and featuring Monday night drag shows. Predominantly African-American and trans-friendly.

GrrlSpot: New Orleans’ guerilla girl bar initiative which takes over a new bar each month in the name of gay lady socializing. GrrlSpot tries to hold events all over the city, sampling each of New Orleans’ distinct neighborhoods, and has the keen ability to draw a sizable and eclectic crowd.

The Country Club: A gay oasis in the relentlessly hot New Orleans summer. Nestled near the river in the hip Bywater neighborhood, the Country Club is a bar and restaurant with a clothing-optional pool (chilled in the summer, heated in the winter), hot tub, sauna, outdoor showers and a projector for watchin’ movies while you splash around. Thursday night is ladies’ night, where cheap drinks and birthday suits abound. Strictly 21+ and open until 2am.

Drama Free/Club Entice: Saturday nights are Ladies’ Nights with great music and drink specials. Usually a $5+ cover.

Kajun’s Pub: A 24-hour karaoke destination, Kajuns is queer-owned, features cheap drinks and a late-night kitchen complete with charbroiled oysters. Packed on Friday and Saturday night. Very trans-friendly.

Good Friends: French Quarter gay bar that is primarily populated with dudes but very friendly. The bar is known for free shots when the Saints score and a frozen coffee/booze drink called a Separator guaranteed to separate you from your pants.

Swirl Wine Bar: Queer-owned wine bar in beautiful Bayou St. John, right off Esplanade. You can grab a bottle of your preferred beverage, french bread and artisan cheese, and walk to the cute park across the street or to the nearby bayou or City Park. Free wine tasting and professional social hour for women on the first Thursday of each month.

St. Rock Tavern: St. Roch is a sweaty steam/crust punk dive bar with one of the best dance nights in town and a vegan kitchen. On Saturday nights you can expect a crowded hip-hop/bounce party and cheap drinks. Fights and excessive drunkenness sometimes occur, and the surrounding neighborhood can be dangerous. Cash only.

Orlando’s Society Page: Predominately African-American bar situated on the far edge of the Quarter on Rampart Street. Open late.

Club LAX: Gay/lesbian bar in Metairie (outside the city limits) catering to a low-key, usually 30’s and up crowd.

Wit’s Inn: Mid-City neighborhood bar that has been semi-taken over by lesbians on Thursdays, when ladies get three free drinks.

The city has more gay bars than any one person could list. I noted those that tend to be more friendly to women; not all are welcoming for women and transpeople. While there isn’t usually overt animosity between the L, G, B, and T communities, there are class/race/gender divides within the community. The trans community often struggles with the lack of welcoming venues and inclusive events, though more queer/trans-friendly events have started to pop up in the last two or three years.

Show Me Somethin’ Mister: Drag and Queer Performance

New Orleans Carnival Kings: Performing since 2002, the Carnival Kings is New Orleans’ oldest drag troupe. They perform “jukebox drag,” which Primary Show Coordinator Harvey Wallbanger describes as a “mosaic experience” because, like a jukebox, performances are randomly composed of music chosen by individual performers, including contemporary hits, classics, and a smattering of the obscure. The Carnival Kings perform weekly on Tuesday night at midnight at Bourbon Pub & Parade during GirlBar New Orleans. Carnival Kings shows are always queer/trans-friendly.

Vanity: A queer variety show (drag, burlesque, etc.) that performs at different venues around town.

La Familia: Variety drag show featuring both kings and queens. They perform intermittently in the Greater New Orleans area for events such as PrideFest and at bars like Anything Geauxs in Slidell, Club LAX, and the Bourbon Pub and Parade.

Queerlesque!: Described by founder Ace Falcor as “one of the nation’s longest-running all-queer all-burlesque shows.” Queerlesque! prides itself on providing safe stages for a diverse krewe of queer performers of all races, ages, sizes, gender identities and expressions, and most importantly – styles of burlesque. Queerlesque! shows take place at random times during the year, usually at the Allways Lounge, though the venue is subject to change.

“Stellaaaaaaaa!”: Performing Arts

NOLA has a thriving performing arts community, with particular attention paid to the unusual, avant-garde, and DIY. The Fringe Theatre Festival held annually in November, always offers a wide variety of queer-themed shows in venues ranging from empty pools to alleyways. While no theater in New Orleans is queer-specific, these theatres have all put on shows with queer characters or themes, and many of them have amazing queer staff and members.

Mid-City Theatre

Southern Rep Theatre

Jefferson Parish Performing Arts

The Mudlark Theatre

Shadowbox Theatre

The Elm Theatre

Allways Lounge and Theatre

Local production groups/companies that offer shows at various spaces:

Artspot Productions

Goat in the Road Productions

The NOLA Project

Skin Horse Theatre

Cripple Creek Theatre Co.

New Orleans is also the birthplace of the Free Southern Theatre which disbanded in 1980 but played an important role in the Black Theatre Movement. Junebug Productions (which also puts on fabulous community classes), Ashe Cultural Arts Center, and the Anthony Bean Community Theatre carry on this tradition in their own unique ways.

Lagniappe: A Little Something Extra

NOLA Print Shop: This grassroots arts and education initiative engages local artists, printmakers, and entrepreneurs in the practices of printmaking by providing instructional classes andtechnique demonstrations suited to every level of print experience and background, for-hire commercial contract printing, and events that connect artists with buyers.

Black, Brown, and Queer (BBQ) Monthly barbeque and picnic for queer people of color and their friends

New Orleans Bondage and Leather Enthusiasts (NOBLE): The local queer-friendly kink group. NOBLE hosts regular munches (conversational, low-key meet-ups in local restaurants or coffee shops), play parties, and educational classes.

Zeitgeist: Central City institution for independent film, queer films, and several film festivals. Constant and varied programming make this a film destination nearly every night of the week.

NOLAW: New Orleans Ladies Arm Wrestling: The New Orleans Ladies’ Arm Wrestlers NOLAW are fired up ladies who toe the line between theatrical antics and hardcore athleticism. Eight lady-identified wrestlers compete in each event, called a brawl. Wrestlers choose a persona, bio, theme song, and money-hungry entourage to back them up and collect “bets” from the crowd. Proceeds raised from bets go to a chosen local organization or project that benefits women and girls. Arguably one of the most fun and stimulating events in New Orleans, NOLAW brawls occur about every two months at various locations around town and are always followed by a dance party.

No More Fiction: Local organization that books punk house shows for girl/queer bands.

Plan B: NOLA’s beloved community bike project, located in the Marigny neighborhood, seeks to promote bike building/use, educate folks on bike maintenance, and encourage the reuse of salvaged materials, all at a low cost to community members. Ladies/Trans/Sissies only bike-building time on Friday evenings.

New Orleans Free School: The New Orleans Free School offers quality, no-cost, volunteer-run, community-based educational opportunities for people of all ages throughout the city of New Orleans. Classes include fermentation, demolition, facilitation, zen meditation, male feminism, and many others.

Burlesque Scene

Check out the 1950’s-style Bustout Burlesque, local troupes Fleur De Tease, and the Storyville Starlettes for classical burlesque.

If you’re looking for something that moves beyond fan dances and into the debaucherous and funky, check out Slow Burn Burlesque, Freakshow to Geaux, and any of the impromptu shows at the Allways Lounge or the Hi-Ho Lounge. What to learn some moves yourself? Bella Blue offers classes weekly through the New Orleans School of Burlesque.

Next: Pride events, food, activism, sports, and more!

Queer Girl City Guide: Chicago, Illinois

I grew up in a Chicago suburb, but traveled to and through the city frequently to visit relatives and hang with friends. It wasn’t until five years ago when I actually moved to Chicago that I came to appreciate its diverse, albeit segregated, culture. Queers of all flavors reside comfortably in many different places all over the city, with a lot of the backlash coming only from within the queer community itself. However, Chicago is a large city, and there are many experiences to be had, so I’ve enlisted the help of some of my fellow Chicagostraddlers. Let’s dive in!

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All the Lesbian Bars/Nights

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Unfortunately for my liver, you can find lesbians out and about each night of the week. Many large, queer (read: non-predominantly gay male) shindigs occur monthly or randomly, so for the low down on what’s about to go down, join the Chicagostraddlers, follow Roxx Promotions, or stalk GlitterGuts Photobooth. Here is a non-exhaustive (though compiling this, I am quite exhausted), listing of the lady places and spaces:

Wild Thursdays (Victor Hotel, 311 N. Sangamon St.) A weekly 18+ LGBTQ dance party that serves alcohol (if you’re 21+)!

T’s Bar & Restaurant (5025 N. Clark St.) Located in Lesbianland (Andersonville), T’s is a good choice on pretty much any night. The best times are after CMSA softball on Sundays and on Saturdays for the newly instated “Tease Her at T’s” dance parties. Sometimes the Chicago Force comes here to drink, and be warned: if they ask to arm wrestle, you will lose.

Formerly Known As (FKA) (Big Chicks, 5024 N. Sheridan Rd.) Usually a bear bar on Thursdays, the first one of each month is reserved for an always-packed-by-11:30pm all-inclusive dance party (with a free coat check). Personally, this is my favorite dance party because of the completely welcoming (and nice) environment, regardless of gender identity. If you want to meet Effingdykes writer, Krista, you can usually find her here.

Queerer Park (Beauty Bar Chicago, 1444 W. Chicago Ave.) There used to be bi-weekly Saturday parties, but so far this year, there has only been one. Hopefully the parties come back because they were always a good time. Plus, there’s nothing better than a $10 martini and manicure! (But be careful with those.)

D.S. Tequila Co. (3352 N. Halsted St.) has recently been taken over by lesbians. They serve great margaritas and yummy tacos (that’s what she said), and it can get really crowded really fast so sit on the patio for more space. Their dance floor is a joke, but when you get drunk enough, take your friends next door to Roscoe’s (3356 N. Halsted St.) to dance the night away to some great mixes.

Dollhouse (Cuna Lounge, 1113 W. Belmont Ave.) Frequented mostly by lesbians of color, this weekly party will have you dancing every Friday. Yoly walks around serving up $1 Jello shots as the go-go dancers shake it atop the bar. Recently, the Dolls started Sunday Night Sex Talks at The Dragon Lady Lounge (3188 N. Elston Ave.).

Spyners Pub (4623 N. Western Ave.) Definitely a dive bar, Spyners is usually frequented by an older crowd and/or CMSA players. They’ve even got karaoke on Fridays and Saturdays. I’ve been here quite a few times with (older) friends for karaoke and had a good time.

Spin Nightclub (800 W. Belmont Ave.) It’s had a fair share of drama, and I don’t really enjoy it (I’m not one to pay a cover unless it goes toward charity), but there are $1 drink nights on Wednesdays! And if you’re into it, there is a shower contest on Fridays.

Berlin (954 W. Belmont Ave.) The environment seems to be a little cliquey, so go with a big group of friends. It’s open late, which is nice, but IMO it’s not worth the (weekend) cover price. That being said, I encourage you to check it out for yourself, preferably on a Thursday night for the Stardust party or bring your friends to Robyn night on Sunday.

Joie de Vine (1744 W. Balmoral Ave.) Do you like wine? Do you also like lesbians? Then you’ll love Joie de Vine!

Sapphic Adventures Lady-loving-ladies-only events, organized by other Chicago gay ladies. The majority of the group is 36+, and it includes lots of non-bar activities. I’ve never been to any of the events myself, but I’ve heard a bit about it.

I’ve never been to any LGBTQ bars/clubs on the South Side or in the suburbs, but it’s definitely on my to-do list (after Natalie Portman, of course).

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Eating Out (No, the other kind)

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Chicago Diner (3411 N. Halsted St.) A good choice after a night of partying in Boystown, the Chicago Diner is completely vegetarian and mostly vegan. It’s okay if you show up looking like the morning after, the staff is quite friendly and the environment is chill.

T’s Bar & Restaurant (5025 N. Clark St.) T’s makes the list again! I love their fries and make-your-own mac & cheese.

Hamburger Mary’s (5400 N. Clark St.) Located in Andersonville, this restaurant and bar is always hoppin’ with some LGBTQA-flavored event. Stop in for a burger and some beer, and then dance the night away!

Kit Kat Lounge & Supper Club (3700 N. Halsted St.) My new favorite place. You can get totally wasted on a Sunday morning for $10, and the food is good. Oh, and while you are eating, a hilarious female impersonator comes out and performs for you.

Pick Me Up Cafe (3408 N Clark St) For a laid-back dining experience, stop by Pick Me Up Cafe. The breakfast is always a solid choice, and I enjoy their milkshakes and desserts. Pick Me Up also has vegetarian and vegan options.

Clarke’s Diner (930 W. Belmont Ave.) The menu here is really diverse, and they serve booze, too. Clarke’s is great for those times when it’s 3AM, my code won’t compile, and I really want some Swedish pancakes. In fact, I’ll BRB.

IHOP (GayHOP) (3760 N. Halsted St.) Speaking of pancakes, yes, I’m serious on this one. Located on the north edge of Boystown, this IHOP is open 24 hours and almost always packed full of queers with the munchies, especially after the bars close.

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LGBT or Feminist Bookstores

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Women and Children First (5233 N. Clark St.) A cute little bookstore that hosts author readings, feminist book clubs, and various other events.
(Chistraddler Editor Note: Let’s be real, WCF is really kind of a parody of a feminist bookstore. Every time I go in there, I half-expect Fred Armisen in a dress to yell at me for shaving my armpits. There is, however, a wonderfully extensive LGBTQ section, covering everything from culture to humor to history. Also, their sex section is pretty boss as well. On the flip side, there are lavender walls and baskets of fake ivy that haven’t been dusted since 1989, the year after that logo was created. However, I’m still dating the girl who gave me a stellar Murakami recommendation. So. Take it for what it is, I guess.)

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Les Sports

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I need not emphasize the massive amount of male-dominated professional sports teams, so I’ll discuss the teams that don’t get much action […on TV… *wink wink*].

Chicago Metropolitan Sports Association (CMSA) The coolest, most organized, queer social sports league in all of America! Okay, I made that up, but I’ve never found anything else like it. CMSA offers coed and single-sex options for tons of sports at various levels. Softball, flag football, soccer (play with me!), volleyball, basketball, and dodgeball seem to be the favorites of my lady friends. CMSA also sponsors parties throughout the year (with no cover for CMSA players!) for those who are 21+. I could go on forever about CMSA, but I have to save room for roller derby.

Roller Derby (Elli knows all about this) While not technically queer, roller derby is very inclusive and queer-friendly. And what better way is there to spend a Saturday night than watching a bunch of strong women (of all sizes, body types, ethnicities, etc.) kicking ass and taking names. Chicago is where roller derby was born over 75 years ago, and when it was revived and reinvented in the early 2000s, Chicago was among the earliest leagues to form. Now we have two very competitive WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) leagues in Chicago- The Windy City Rollers (WCR) and The Chicago Outfit.

WCR bouts are held at the UIC Pavillion (525 S. Racine Ave.) with afterparties at Union Park Lounge (228 South Racine Avenue). The Outfit is a trans* friendly league, with bouts at The Windy City Fieldhouse (2367 W. Logan Boulevard) and afterparties at the Cobra Lounge (235 North Ashland Avenue).

There is also a lot of suburban derby springing up all over Chicagoland, like Rockford Rage and the Aurora 88s. And for those interested in maybe dipping a toe into derby before diving literally headfirst into the full contact sport, there is Derby Lite at various city and suburban locations. Not to leave anyone out, there is a men’s derby league getting started back up, The Chicago Bruise Brothers, and they are also comprised of straight and gay skaters. I don’t know if they/MRDA (Men’s Roller Derby Association) have any separate policies on transmen skaters, but they follow the WFTDA rules set, so I would assume that they are just as inclusive.

Rugby (Chicago Women’s, North Shore, and Chicago Sirens) Of the teams, North Shore has the reputation of being the most intense; they won DI national chamionships in 2011, followed by Chicago Women. The Sirens (DII) have only been around for 5 years, so they’re a good team to choose if you’re just starting to play rugby but don’t want to automatically get put on a B-Side (although everyone I’ve met from all these teams is super friendly to newcomers!). Throughout the spring and summer, some teams also have clinics if you think you’re interested but want to learn more before committing to one. If you’re wondering whether rugby is a good way to meet ladies in the Chicago area…yes. Yes it is. If you’re going to school in Chicago, Loyola, DePaul, Northwestern, and UChicago all have teams! Some are more intense/better at winning than others and some are gayer.

Women’s Football (Chicago Force) Chances are you’ve either seen or you know of a current or former Force player. You can find them at T’s, playing CMSA, or just out and about around town.

Women’s Basketball (Chicago Sky)  CMSA hosted a Sky Pride outing, and it was intense! The game went into double (maybe even triple) overtime, and these women kicked ass! This year at the pride outing, the Sky won with 0.2 seconds left in the game, just sayin’.

Women’s Soccer (Chicago Red Stars) Unfortunately, the Red Stars are no longer part of the WPS. They still play games in the suburbs through the WPSL, though.

Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers (CLLAW) This annual event is always a blast!

Out at Wrigley Hosted by MTM Chicago, Out at Wrigley is the queerest Chicago Cubs baseball game you’ll ever attend. Once per year, hundreds of queers & allies pack the stadium during Pride Month. The Chicago Cubs are great supporters of the queer community, so they deserve a shout out!

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College Life

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There are probably as many colleges in Chicago as there are L stops, so I’ll only list some of them. From north to south you have Northwestern, Loyola, DePaul, The Art Institute of Chicago, Columbia College Chicago, University of Illinois – Chicago, Illinois Institute of Technology (my school) and University of Chicago. Many schools have at least a semi-active LGBTQ student organization, but if your school doesn’t you can join the Queer Intercollegiate Alliance (QIA), a city-wide group of college students that host potlucks and other get-togethers. Each year one college hosts the annual Coming Out Ball, which is a great time to meet college queers from all across Chicago and its surrounding suburbs.

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Where to Straddle Chicago

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Boystown, a subsection of Lakeview, is the gay mecca of Chicago. Trapezoidally shaped, its borders span from Belmont on the South to Grace up North, with Halsted and Broadway to the West and East. Most of the gay bars, clubs, restaurants, street parties and shops are located in this area. There’s also a modest selection of overpriced thrift stores. Be careful if you drunkenly wander outside these confines alone late at night, because the surrounding areas can be sketch, especially in the summer. Boystown is mostly male-dominated, but a surprisingly good number of my lesbian friends and I live in or around this area.

Andersonville is the smaller, lady’s version of Boystown, although we’re slowly being out-populated by more gay boys. Housed between Foster and Bryn Mawr, Ravenswood and Magnolia is a diverse selection of locally-own shops, restaurants, bars, pubs, museums, and entertainment. Once home to now-defunct lesbian nightclub, Stargaze, the only predominantly lesbian life left is at T’s and Joie de Vine. Rent in Andersonville can be expensive, so some people live in neighboring Edgewater or Rogers Park.

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No Straddin’ Here

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For the most part, there are not-so-safe places in and around every Chicago neighborhood. If you’re smart, with a group of people and aware of your surroundings, you should be okay. I don’t think I’ve heard of any particular instance of someone being attacked solely because they are gay. Some folks cite Wrigleyville, the jock next-door-neighbor of Boystown, to be unsafe to frequent, but there was an article in TimeOut Chicago where they performed a Wrigleyville-Boystown swap, and everything was generally normal.

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Chicago Pride Guide

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In Chicago, the entire month of June is pride. From movie screenings to book clubs to a 5k (Proud to Run!) to the Dyke March to the Pride Parade itself, there are events almost every day. The week/weekend of the parade, promotion companies throw tons of crowded parties, including lesbian ones. The best lesbian party is always the 4-day Backlot Bash. Over 40,000 queers and allies from all over the world flood the streets at the end of the month for the actual parade itself. Last year, there was some drama and the parade got detoured and cut short, but this year they’ve extended the route in an attempt to pack in even more queers! Make sure you wear as few clothes as possible, because the Chicago humidity is suffocating. And the only thing hotter than a bunch of drunk queers partying in the streets is the sun, so make sure you bring the sunscreen.

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LBT Events

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Reeling: Chicago Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival
Chicago Pride Fest: An excuse to party in the streets of Boystown the weekend of the Pride Parade
Northalsted Market Days: The largest (most fabulous) two-day street fair in the midwest!
Northalsted Halloween Parade: Parade down the street in costume to win the audience’s affection… and prizes.
Andersonville Midsommarfest: Andersonville’s summer street festival

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LGBT Center

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The Center on Halsted (3656 N. Halsted Street) has a computer lab, meeting rooms, theater, and gymnasium. The walls are usually a gallery of various local LGBTQ artists’ work. When school gets out, you can usually find teenagers hanging out at the Center or attending one of the various programs. Team Starkid performances are held in the auditorium, and CMSA indoor soccer is played in the gym. The Center has wifi and is conveniently connected to the Whole Foods for when you get hungry.

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LGBT and Women’s Health Services

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Chicago Women’s Health Center (3435 N Sheffield) CWHC provides gynecological and mental health care to cis and trans women, and trans men.
Howard Brown Health Center (4025 N. Sheridan Rd.) hosts various programs and services all over Chicago, including the Lesbian Community Care Project (LCCP).
Affinity Community Services Is also a good resource.

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Prominent Social Activist Groups

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Here’s just a quick list of some of the groups you could get involved in:

Equality Illinois
HRC Illinois
Gay Liberation Network
Transformative Justice Law Project

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Performing Arts or Arts Groups

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GayCo: A nonprofit sketch comedy group
White Rainbows:  A queer sketch comedy ensemble.
POW-WOW, Inc: A spoken word poetry gathering.
Gay Chicago TV: The independently owned and operated online TV station. Be sure to check out the show Among Girls.
Windy City Performing Arts: An LGBT choral organization that has a men’s choir (Windy City Gay Chorus) and women’s choir (Aria).
Lakeside Pride: LGBT community bands. Includes a marching band that marches in the pride parade! They also have a jazz band, orchestra, and symphonic band.

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Dating Scene

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If you’re out at a club, and you see a girl you feel like you’ve met before, you’ve probably just looked at her profile on OkCupid.
How About We… is a cool new take on online matchmaking that you should totally sign up for.
Mingle Around Chicago usually has monthly lesbian singles meetups.
Chicago First Dates sometimes has lesbian speed dating.

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Salons for Alternative Lifestyle Haircuts

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Milios (959 W. Belmont, 2nd floor)! That is where I (Elli) get my #alternativelifestylehaircut done by a queer girl.

Barbara and Barbara (3131 W. Logan Blvd.) is a queer-friendly hair salon in Logan Square that is owned and operated by some fellow queers. It’s extremely cheap and my $20 haircut often includes a beer. I think people with longer hair have to pay slightly more. The best part? Never having to explain why you want an asymmetrical cut! I usually go to Kara although I am sure all of the ladies and gentleman kick ass.

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Best Tattoo Places

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I’ve only gotten pierced at Insight Studios (1062 N Milwaukee Ave.), but a lot of my friends have gotten beautiful tattoos from the guys there. I’ve also seen some great work from and heard good things about The Tattoo Factory (4441 North Broadway).

Liz: I’ve gotten three of my…eight?…tattoos in Chicago, all of them at Deluxe Tattoo (1459 W. Irving Park Road). Jason spent 10 hours on my back and didn’t even mind when I almost accidentally kicked him in the head. Hannah (of LA Ink fame) very sweetly took me as a walk-in the day I got into grad school and decided that a grammatical tattoo was the way to celebrate. Andy put a gay ol’ rainbow on my arm. Everyone in that shop is amazing and lovely and cool and I just want to hug them all. Also, they seem to have more (incredibly talented) female tattoo artists than some other shops that I’ve seen, but don’t quote me on that.

Elli: Apparently I am the resident ChiStraddler expert here, being that I have 18 tattoos and they were all done in Chicago! My first seven were done at a shop that has since closed, sadly. Six of my pieces were done on a walk-in basis at The Tattoo Factory. I highly recommend Metamorph Studios (1456 N. Milwaukee Avenue) for brilliant custom work. Robin aka Solokill has done four of my pieces there, three of which are giant, one of which is Tegan and Sara. Tatu Tattoo (1754 W North Ave), also in Wicker Park, is also a good place, but the guy who tattooed me, Derek, left shortly after… to open Metamorph Studios. And Hank at Tattoo Factory is the best piercer around, I swear. He pierced my tiny tragus when other piercers said it wasn’t possible!

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Religion

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Rae Nelson: Chicago has a plethora of synagogues all over the Orthodox-Humanist spectrum, and I’ve been welcomed without a second glance at most. To be fair, the most Orthodox I’ve gotten in my visits is the small Conserva-dox Rose Crown Minyan; the Rose Crown Minyan is hosted by the Anshe Emet Conservative synagogue in Lakeview. From what I have experienced and heard from friends, the Reform synagogues in Chicagoland are all welcoming with regard to sexual orientation and gender identity, personally I attend Oak Park Temple, in Oak Park. For those interested in Reconstructionism, Jewish Reconstructionist Congregation in Evanston has a very strong message of Tikkun Olam, Rabbi Brant Rosen of JRC is active in the Chicago Social Justice community on many issues, including LGBTQ rights.

Congregation Or Chadash proclaims itself as “the Chicagoland synagogue serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual Jews, their families, friends and loved ones.” This tagline merited a visit last summer and while I found Or Chadash to be lovingly welcoming, there were few people my age (20s) and I found the atmosphere and service to be more queer-focused rather than God-focused. Still worth a visit, maybe it’s your cup of tea! Or Chadash is a member of Chicago’s Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame.

Liz: I go to Ebenezer Lutheran Church. It’s located in Andersonville, and the congregation takes its community responsibility very seriously, with tons of neighborhood outreach projects, partnerships with LGBT organizations, and generally being very open and welcoming to anyone and everyone who wants to be there. (This is almost the entire reason I became a member, after a fairly awful experience with the Baptist church I used to attend.) Without statistics (read: only my eyeballs, and I’m terrible at spacial logistics), I’d have to guess that the congregation is evenly split along plenty of demographical lines (straight/LGBT, old/young, families/singles, etc.) Also, our new pastor is a wonderful little gay man. I mean that literally, not diminutively. He’s like, a head shorter than me, and Yao Ming I’m not.

Also also also! I googled “gay friendly churches chicago”, and the VERY FIRST LINK was this super-helpful list! It’s a pretty comprehensive list, covering the state of Illinois. There are 92 entries for Chicago alone. NINETY-TWO. THAT IS ALMOST A HUNDRED. It helpfully organizes things based on denomination, so whatever flavor you take your churchin’ in, you’ll probably find something.

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Laws and Regulations Affecting Queers

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The first ever gay rights organization in the country was founded in Illinois, so it should come as no surprise that this state has laws to protect against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Even though gay marriage is not legal here (yet), feel free to get a civil union or have your same-sex marriage performed elsewhere recognized!

Queer Girl City Guide: Chapel Hill, North Carolina

I’ve lived in Chapel Hill for four years now and I love it. I’m a senior at University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill so most of my experiences are as a member of the university, but the overall Chapel Hill/Carrboro community is extremely welcoming for queers. It’s a very liberal place and has certainly earned it’s nickname as “a Southern slice of heaven.”  Lately North Carolina has been in the news following the passage of Amendment One, but believe it or not, Chapel Hill is definitely a place where Gay is OK.

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University Life

The university is a huge part of the town and if you’re lucky enough to be coming here for college then you’ll find a great LGBTQ community with lots of resources available to you. Our Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Straight Alliance (GLBTSA) is the largest LGBTIQ student organization in the Southeast. In addition to hosting weekly meetings and awesome events, GLBTSA publishes the oldest LGBTIQ student publication in the nation and hosts the Southeast Regional Unity Conference every year, where progressive LGBTQ friendly folks from the region all get together for one awesome weekend. You can read more about the queer scene at UNC here.

Aside from its queer friendly atmosphere, the university in general is also just really amazing. We were the first public univeristy in the country, we’re regularly regarded as a “Public Ivy” and we’ve been ranked the best value in public higher education ten consecutive times. If you’re into sports, we have (in my humble opinion) the best basketball program in the nation, with alumni like Michael Jordan, Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace and Vince Carter. We also we just had Obama and Jimmy Fallon come visit, so we’re kind of a big deal.

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Going Out/Social Events

Chapel Hill is a fairly small town so there are no exclusively lesbian clubs… or exclusively queer clubs for that matter. There are, however, gay nights at several places. You can find a full schedule of those events here.

I’m not going to lie to you, all of these events are heavily male and all the gay boys bring their straight female friends, so it’s hard to tell if any of the women are actually queer. If you want my opinion though, I’d say to just hit on everything that moves. As someone who other people often assume is straight, I’ve realized that you really can’t judge a book by its cover so you might as well just be friendly to anyone you think is cute. Even if they are straight they’re at a gay bar, so it’s not like they’re really allowed to freak out. If that’s just too much guess work for you though, I’d say head to some of the larger gay clubs in Raleigh or Durham. They’re not too far away and you’re likely to find more gay women there.

If the club scene isn’t your thing, some women-only events/activities that you might want to check out are the Triangle Area Lesbians Meet-Up that happens every Thursday between 6-8pm at Foster’s Market in Chapel Hill (contact TriangleAreaLesbians [at] gmail [dot] com for more information), the Common Woman Chorus, or this nice meetup group for single lesbians over 40 in Chapel Hill. Again, if you’re a student you could check out some of the events hosted by GLBTSA.

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Restaurants and Cafes

If eating is your thing you like to be able to do that in public without someone staring at your your girlfriend’s unshaven legs, then you’re in luck! Most restaurants and cafes here are gay-friendly and you can feel pretty comfortable holding hands on a date almost anywhere. There are, however, a few places I’d recommend over the others:

Open Eye Cafe (101 South Greensboro Street, Carlboro) A great coffee shop filled with comfy couches and more alternative lifestyle haircuts than you can count. It is consistently voted as one of the best coffee shops in the area and serves wine and beer along with its whole-leaf teas and delicious coffee. There are usually great local musicians playing here on the weekneds and they often showcase local art throughout the restaurant that you can buy or just stop in and admire.

Cafe Driade (1215 East Franklin Street, Chapel Hill) A small coffee shop nuzzled in the woods with some great walking trails going out behind it. This is Open Eye’s sister coffee shop so it has a lot of the same offerings, just in a more cozy environment.

Weaver Street Market (716 East Weaver Street, Carrboro) A co-op grocery store that also has a salad bar and hot food bar. It has a great outdoor eating area that’s always packed with awesome people and it’s in the heart of downtown Carrboro so it’s a great place to spend the day. They also host lots of events, like their Friday Night Wine Tastings and their “Jazz and More Brunch” every Sunday from May to October on the lawn.

The Spotted Dog (111 East Main Street, Carrboro) A lesbian-owned-and-operated restaurant in Carrboro with lots of healthy eating and vegetarian options.

Carborro Farmer’s Market (301 West Main Street, Carrboro) Saturdays from 7:00am to noon and Wednesdays from 3:30pm to 6:30, a local farmer’s market that’s well known throughout the area and has been running for over 30 years.

Other queer-friendly businesses that you might want to check out are Syd’s Hair Shop (108 West Rosemary Street, Chapel Hill) or Moshi Moshi (416 West Franklin Street, Chapel Hill) for an alternative lifestyle haircut and Internationalist Books (405 West Franklin Street, Chapel Hill), a bookstore/community center that has lots of LGBT and feminist material as well as lots of other cool material like local zines, spoken word cds, and anarchist books.

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Etc.

For those of you who have already settled down, Chapel Hill and Carrboro are relatively queer-family-friendly. They offer domestic partnerships to same-sex couples, although that could change in the aftermath of Amendment One. If you’d like to meet other queer parents, the group Triangle Families hosts monthly meetings for LGBTQ families in the area.

From an economic standpoint, the cost of living is higher than neighborhing Durham. Nevertheless, it’s a safe place to live, is walking-and-biking friendly and all the city busses are free. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else in the state.

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Support Groups

The UNC LGBTQ center holds a Q Group every Monday during the school year to offer peer support and talk about anything related to sexual orientation/gender identity and gender expression. They also have drop-in support hours where you can just show up and talk to a counselor about anything on your mind.

If you’re trans* or otherwise gender-identified or questioning and would like to spend some time with like-minded people, there is a trans discussion group every 2nd and 3rd Wednesday at Internationalist Books in Chapel Hill and another discussion group, Trans Talk Tuesday, is held at Open Eye Cafe in Carrboro every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month.

Once you know where to look you’ll find that there’s something for every queer woman to do in this wonderful town of ours, and as General Johnson said, Carolina girls are the best in the world.

Queer Girl City Guide: St. Louis, Missouri

St. Louis, Missouri hides in a three-state-sized cornfield.

Demographically, it is preposterously uneven. There was the nook of the county where I went to prep school. I graduated in a wedding dress, attended debutante balls, and had a near-constant Frappuccino as part of my polo-khaki-skirt uniform.

And then there is the city itself. In my youth, it seemed dangerous and full of broken metal things. Buildings were abandoned, I was told it was unsafe, and I didn’t know anyone who actually lived there. It seemed to me that St. Louis was the greatest schism imaginable. The East held gang violence and puddles with needles, and the West was a Shirley Temple at the racquet club and an outing on horseback.

I sung the angsty-teen refrain of “I have to get out of this town.” But I didn’t do that. I went to college roughly four miles from my childhood home and stayed in a dormitory roughly two fire hydrants away from my elementary school.

What I really dug came at the end of my college experience. Finally, a porthole to another world spontaneously opened: The Actual City Of St. Louis.

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Parks, Museums and Other Places for Everyone

With the advent of the City Museum and City Garden (and general re-building efforts), a diverse population has begun to creep into the downtown streets. In the summer, City Garden is alive with families. Kids can swim and play in a series of fountains and pools, there is plenty of green space for running around, and it’s an oddly artsy-hip retreat.

The City Museum is a wonderland for grown-ups, teenagers, and kids. It is an epic five-story playground (formerly a shoe factory) made out of recycled junk. It has a multitude of slides, some circus acts, a chamber of skate ramps, and a shoelace display. Outside, you can climb up a net to a gutted airplane (and fully panic,if you’re afraid of heights).

This isn’t an acid trip; it exists. If you’re just passing through St. Louis, the City Museum is truly the actual Number One must-see. Queer, not queer, whatever: fun. Eat Ted Drewes Frozen Custard after that.

And then there is Forest Park. It is locally rumored to be the largest urban park in the country. Regardless of its rank, it lays claim to a jaw-dropping Art Museum, History Museum, Science Center, and Zoo. Admission to those attractions are all FREE. As a college student (as well as for many others of all kinds/ages), it was a constant place of wonder.

Near Forest Park is The Delmar Loop. Swarming with Washington University students, The Loop holds roughly six blocks of varied (and sometimes touristy) attractions. It is a busy district with shops from the wacky to chic, restaurants from the diner to the slightly-better-diner and a great coffee shop, Meshuggah (6269 Delmar). While I imagine that once The Loop was the place for a twenty-something person to really let go and exist, the collision of the yuppie parents and increasingly violent crime can make it less-than-pleasurable.

Blueberry Hill (6504 Delmar), bragging to be “The Home of Chuck Berry and Rock N’ Roll” is a fun time capsule of a bar and restaurant with frequent not-to-be-missed shows. It is probably the most “historic” attraction in the Loop, and a great place to pass through when visiting.

Forest Park and The Delmar Loop surround the Washington University Campus, and are also close to nearly-neighboring institutions like Fontbonne and St. Louis University. In college at Wash U, I didn’t see many queer people or know where they may be lurking. The surrounding neighborhoods like Clayton, Richmond Heights, and even The Loop didn’t seem to have a vibrant or visible population of gay people.

The Central West End is also close to some of the Universities of the city. Though it is a thoroughfare for the frat-esque, it has a couple of gay-friendly places. The Loading Zone (16 S. Euclid), is a gay bar with omni-popular Show Tunes Tuesdays. Coffee Cartel (2 Maryland Plaza) is a gay-friendly coffee shop that’s open twenty-four hours. With its all night availability, Coffee Cartel was a venue for both my end-of-college course load and babygayness.

Of course, there came a time when I’d transformed into a sort of Ani-wannabe, cargo-short-wearing, nose-ringed queer. And I got thirsty for a brand new part of the St. Louis fun:

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REALLY QUEER THINGS.

When I could stop brooding and painting with watercolors long enough to leave my apartment, I would go to (what I considered) the epicenter of STL girlqueerness — MoKaBe’s Coffee House (3606 Arsenal Street)

Picture The Planet, and then take everything away, including the people, and replace it with everything that is the opposite of that. It’s Missouri! Neon lettering on the menus, a cigarette machine across from the bathroom, people doing crosswords at a long counter while chatting with baristas, potentially some blaring Alanis Morisette, and LESBIANS.

Queer Girl City Guide: Taipei, Taiwan

After college, on a whim inspired by the complete disintegration of all my plans and the recommendation of a half-Taiwanese friend, I ended up here. I didn’t know I was going until about nine days before I stepped off the plane, so I had no idea what the lesbian scene would offer.

It turned out to be wonderful. Taiwan is a beautiful tropical island with an interesting mix of cultures and languages, as well as a large expat community. I’ve lived here since last September and I’m still discovering the crazy, wonderful city that is Taipei. Taipei has outstanding food, outstanding public transportation and outstanding lesbians. People here are really friendly (every time I’m lost, two or three people come up and help me figure out where I am).

*As a helpful tip for all you Anglophones, almost everybody speaks English, especially the younger people.

*Some of these sites are in Chinese! If you put the site HTMLs into google translate, google will translate the site for you.

*I’ve included stops on The Taipei subway system (MRT) for some of the places so that you can get an idea of where they are.

The Queerest of Areas

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Red House
(MRT Ximen)
Easily reachable via MRT, Red House is a major shopping area and the location of the first gay bar in Taipei. The Red House was built in 1908; it’s a major historical land mark and the area around it has grown to include Thai restaurants and leather bars. There is also an excellent lesbian burger place in Red House called Cosbys. They have some of the best burgers around (well-priced and American style, which is hard to find) and they turn into a bar at night.

Shida
(MRT Taipower)
Many of the lesbian places are locacted within a few blocks of a small street/night market area called ShiDa. ShiDa Night Market is close to the two biggest universities in Taiwan (NTU and NTNU). It’s crawling with foreigners and young and fasionable college students. In the night market, you can get traditional foods like Stinky Tofu that are must-tries for Taiwan! Most stores pack it in around ten every night, but are open later on weekends. It’s a bright, hectic place filled with students, coffeeshops and small restaurants with every kind of food you can imagine, from Tibetan to Mexican (the last a great rarity in Taiwan). For traditional Taiwanese fare, go for the street food; it’s some of the best in Taipei. Try the shaved ice! And the dumplings! Actually, try anything people are lining up for. It’s an fascinating area of town and it’s within walking distance of The Love Boat, GinGin’s, Fembooks, The Hours, Witch House and Twiice.

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Lez Clubs

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Taboo
(B1, No. 90, Sec 2, Jianguo North Road, Taipei City)
This club is almost entirely lesbians; they charge girls 300-500 NT at the door ($10-15 U.S.) while men pay more. Taboo is an underground (literally, underground) club with live music on Thursdays and a small dance floor that doesn’t get packed until twelve. There are booths along the wall and and once you get in, it’s all you can drink. The music vaccilates between ordinary club music, Justin Beiber and Linkin Park, and the occasional menstrual pad commercial. The dance floor is filled with adorable butch girls who — and though most everybody is Taiwanese — you’ll probably be able to communicate with, even without much Chinese. If you know what I mean.

Twiice
(No. 222, Section 2, Jinshan South Road, Taipei City, Taipei)
This is a club where you can bring your guy friends, though they can only party on the first floor: the second floor is exclusively lesbian. It’s again, $15 to get in, all you can drink afterwards.

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Bookstores and Meeting Places

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The Loveboat
(1F, No.11, Lane 240, Sect. 3, Roosevelt Rd., Zhongzheng Dist., Taipei City 100)
This isn’t so much a bookstore as a general store. The Loveboat has books, movies, rainbow wristbands, rainbow earrings and basically rainbow freaking everything. There are flyers for all the queer events happening in the area, as well as a huge wall of chest binders. There are also booths along the wall, one of which provides lesbian tarot readings. There’s a wall of super dapper tomboy clothes, The L Word with Chinese subtitles and even baby clothes!

Fembooks
(No. 5, Lane 56, XinSheng South Road, Sec.3)
This bookstore is next to the lesbian cafe Witch House. Fembooks is on the right with nothing more than a sign and a small set of stairs leading upward to mark it as a store. It has all sorts of books on feminism, LGBT books, Chinese feminist writings and periodicals.

This is also the headquarters of the activist organization Gender and Sexuality Rights Organization Taiwan. According to the plaque on the stairs, it’s the first feminist bookstore in the Chinese community!

GinGin
(1F, No.8, Alley 8, Lane 210, Sect. 3, Roosevelt Rd., Taipei 100, Taiwan) (MRT Taipower)
This is an EXCELLENT bookstore. There may not be any English books but there are a ton of English movies. It’s directed more towards gay men, but there are a lot of lesbian movies in stock at fairly cheap prices. They have flyers for all the gay events in Taipei so it’s a good place to go if you want to be informed. Right next store is the H*ours Cafe. (This bookstore is conveniently about a block from the Love Boat!)

Eslite Books
(No. 245, Section 1, Dunhua South Road, Taipei)
For bookaholics who can only speak English, the largest, most widespread bookstore in Taipei is Eslite. It’s even twenty-four hours, for those 5am book-related emergencies!

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Lesbian Cafes (They Exist!)+

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Witch House
(No. 7, Lane 56, XinSheng South Road, Sec.3)
At first, I was under the impression that this was only an awesome cafe where you could buy drinks, eat overpriced nachos that are actually just Doritos, and spend a few hours playing board games with your friends. Their menu is advertised as ‘the naughtiest menu in town’ and they have an extensive drink selection (HELLO blended fruit mimosas). But, they also have live music in the evenings AND, according to the menu, you get a ten percent discount if you can do twenty pushups on the floor. I think it’s time to go back to the gym. Did I mention their chairs are decorated with bras?

Hours Cafe
(No. 12, Alley 8, Lane 210, Roosevelt Road, Taipei City, Taipei) (MRT Gongguan)
This cafe is right next to GinGin’s and is owned by the same people. It’s a laid-back place with good drinks and a chill vibe. Lots of rainbows!

Norwegian Wood
(No. 9, Lane 244, Roosevelt Road, Taipei City, Taipei) (MRT Gongguan)
This is a indie cafe where a lot of college students study and converse. According to The Internets, it’s a gay hang-out spot, but it doesn’t particularly set off my gaydar. Either way, it’s fancy coffee in an artsy setting. As I would expect for a cafe named after a Haruki Murikami novel (or perhaps a Beatles song?), this place is whimsical, artsy and a bit weird.

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Do Things: Events + Activism

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Lezmeeting
This is a once-a-month lesbian dance party that takes place in one of the popular clubs around Taiwan. There’s always excellent music, great dancing, and a plethora of lesbians! What more could you ask for? This company also runs a Chinese language magazine. Seriously, everyone should go to this. I’ve never seen so many lesbians in one place before.

The other big event is, of course, Pride. Taipei has the biggest Pride Parade in Asia. This year, 50,000 people showed up, myself included, and the parade filled the large thoroughfare. You can check out some great pictures on this radio blog. There were singing acts and a giant party afterward. If you’re around Taipei in October, you have to attend!

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There are lots of activist groups in Taipei, but to join them, you have to be far more fluent in Chinese than I am (Also, if you come here on a work visa, volunteer work is technically illegal, though not impossible. Shhh!!) Events are staged, such as the Mass Lesbian Wedding of sixty couples in August. The two major groups are: Gender and Sexuality Rights Association Taiwan (GSRAT) and Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline

The laws here are fairly progressive, with protections against workplace and educational discrimination against sexual orientation. Marriage was proposed under the Human Rights Basic Law in 2003 but the bill stalled and has gone nowhere since. However, school textbooks now include anti-discrimination encouragement and the history of LGBT human rights.

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The Dating Scene

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One of the things you should know about the Taiwanese lesbian scene is that a lot of the girls are divided up into Ts and Ps, or Tomboys and Pos, taken from the Chinese word for wife. If you don’t fit into one of these conventions, expect to clarify your preferences at a club. It’s a lot like the stereotypical old school butch/femme divide in western culture. Tomboys usually date Pos. Not always and not everybody, but usually. Some of my more androgynous friends, or my femmy friends that like girly girls, have trouble finding girls who take them seriously. However, though it’s a little harder, it’s definitely not impossible.

Sometimes the gender roles are expected to carry over into the relationship, in terms of intimacy or who pays for dates. However, you can be very, very feminine and still get read as gay in Taiwan. It doesn’t matter if you’re in Taboo or just buying t-shirts, straight is not the assumption because there are so many very feminine, very lesbian women.

*An additional cultural note: Sometimes girls or boys or that are friends hold hands. There’s more same-gender physical contact and less cross-gender physical contact than in America.

(Mini) Tomboy Primer

Tomboy Fashion stores
Like I said, Tomboys is a style (which is what many of the tomboys here emphasize to their families), high fashion, and a very big industry. As previously mentioned, the Loveboat is well-stocked with Tomboy clothing and accessories (nothing too kinky though).

T-Kingdom
(No.8, Ln. 118, Yi’an Rd., Zhonghe Dist., New Taipei City 23576, Taiwan) (R.O.C.)
This is a binders-only store! They also run the Republic of Castro, which is a Gay and Lesbian Chinese language site.

Taiwanese Tomboy bands:

An all-tomboy Taiwanese band? Yes, please. Misster.

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Your Health+
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Jung Shiao Shing Fu OBS & GYN
(No. 4, 5th floor, No. 128 Jung Shiao East Rd., Sec. 4, Taipei City) (phone: 02-2776-2222)
This is a gynecologist’s office where the doctors speak English. No one cares what your sexuality is, so no worries on that front. Also, health care in general is very cheap here, even cheaper if you have health insurance: we’re talking around $5-6.

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Cost of Living

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Taiwan is fairly inexpensive, with rent for a one-bedroom ranging anywhere from $200-500. Food is pretty affordable, too. A meal at a restaurant might be $3 (Taiwanese food) to $10 or more (almost always foreign). Street food is ridiculously cheap and you can expect to be fully stuffed for $2 or less. Although Taipei is the most expensive city in Taiwan, the cost of living is still lower than most major cities in the US. The pay for professions such as teaching is very good. Overall, I think it’s very affordable.

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Queer Friendliness

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Well, yesterday I kissed my girlfriend in front of my elderly neighbor (we mistimed the opening of the elevator doors) and she was totally unfazed. Everyone here seems to be accepting, for foreigners at least. While it might be different for people who have families here (I know a lot of people who are still in the closet), everybody I’ve encountered has been completely tolerant. According to the National Union of Taiwan Women’s Association, 75% of adults believe that homosexual relations are okay, so there’s that! I’ve also gotten zero street harassment here, which is significantly better than in Los Angeles.

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Also Also Also

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For even more queer-relevant info on Taipei, visit the Information Library! Most of the websites won’t translate using my current browser, but from what I can figure out, there’s a ton of clothing stores, support groups, lesbian personals and a lesbian(?) church. It will take ages to explore everything in Taipei, so finding this resource was pretty exciting.

Queer Girl City Guide: Granada, Spain

Heyo grrls and bois, have you ever heard of Granada? Maybe your school’s study abroad office has a brochure for a program here tucked behind a bunch of others for Madrid or Barcelona. Perhaps you’ve have heard that there is a castle here, which is true. What you may not have heard is that in this tiny little city of about 270,000, there are by my count, 70,000 lesbians. At least.

I moved to Granada to study abroad in February and let me just say it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m going to attempt not to gush too much but really, aside from the above mentioned abundance of cool, queer ladies and queer culture, it almost never rains, the architecture is beautiful, you can almost always hear someone playing flamenco guitar, the city is really progressive and safe for us, the cost of living is unbelievably cheap and you get a completely 100% free plate of food with every drink you order.

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Tapas, Tapas, Tapas!

If I didn’t have you at THOUSANDS OF LESBIANS, I bet I had you at free food. Granada is the only city in Spain where literally every bar will give you a free tapa with every beer or wine you order. Here’s a list of some of the gay/lesbian owned tapas places as well as a few extras I’m including just because they’re really good.

Bar 380 (c/ Carcél Alta, Plaza Nueva area) – is a cute, spacious bar off Calle Elvira that lets you choose which tapa you get (this is a big deal — whenever you go into a bar be sure to ask “Puedo elegir la tapa?”). I recommend the berenjenas, fried eggplant with honey.

Pöe (c/ Verónica de la Magdalena 40, near Plaza Trinidad) – Pöe isn’t gay or gay owned as far as I know, but it is owned by a British guy, which is great if you don’t speak any Spanish. He has really unique and amazing tapas like Thai curry chicken, tofu or chicken in coconut sauce and piri piri pork casserole. Bonus points for all the vegetarian and gluten free options!

Sol (Barrio Realejo) – Truth be told I have only been to Sol twice and I didn’t get a real tapa either time because I ordered mojitos (some bars only give you tapas with beer/wine). However, the mojitos are incredible. In fact, the inside of the bar looks like a mojito. It’s worth it.

Shambala (c/ Fábrica Vieja, Plaza Trinidad area) – Also has wonderful mojitos. Maybe you are starting to get the picture that if this guide inspires you come to Granada to visit me, you could buy me a mojito and that would be great. On top of great mojitos Shambala also has lesbian bartenders and delicious tapas (think hummus, little chicken/veggie skewers, and spring rolls). Bam.

Buena Vida (c/ Almireceros 12, off Calle Elvira) – Always packed with ladies including cute lesbian moms, a huge wine selection and the most delicious goat cheese and honey plate in the whole city (probably).

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Get Dancy

La Sal (c/ Santa Paula 11) and Zona (c/ Pedro Antonio de Alarcón) are the only two exclusively lesbian clubs in Granada. La Sal was started 14 years ago by this precious lesbian couple and Zona is brand spankin’ new but both have a similar vibe, super cheap drinks on Thursdays, play your favorite songs from your middle school dance days and attract lesbians of all ages. To be honest, though, neither really tops my list of places to out. All the hip grrrls hang out at Playmobil Club (c/ Pedro Antonio de Alarcón), Vogue (c/ Duquesa) or Polaroid (c/ Gran Capitán 25). All three play a great mix of popular and indie Spainish/American music and throw great silly parties that sometimes involve things like free candy. Even though aren’t exclusively gay or lesbian, I promise you’d never know it and you’ll never have problems because all the Spanish bros and their girlfriends will be at Granada 10 or Mae West or El Camborio which are huge gross clubs that I do not recommend. At all. Thursday nights the place to be is usually Tornado Pub (c/ Pintor Velázquez) because you can get 4 beers for 2 euros and then dance your pants off at Twist and Shout with Little Girl and Lily Ramone (aka the cutest DJ set and possible couple on the planet).

Although none of the gay bars have ladies nights, they’re all pretty welcoming to girls as well. I’d especially recommend Six Colours (c/ Tendillas de Santa Paula 6, Plaza de la Universidad) and Folk (Plaza de Toros) but avoid XXL and TicTac (both in Plaza de Lobos), which I’ve heard are more for cruising.

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Social Activist Groups

There are two major LGBT centers in Granada: ColegaSur and Nos (c/ Lavadero de Tablas 15, Plaza de los Lobos). My program has a volunteer requirement so I’ve been working two days each week at Nos and the staff and resources they provide are absolute outstanding. You can also visit the website to find more information on support for queer parents, free testing services, etc. Right now I’m helping to organize Granada’s National Lesbian Visibility Day celebration for April 26th; we’re having a kiss in! Other than that, there are a variety of different interest groups that meet at the office every week and on the weekends we host parties at one of the gay or lesbian bars to raise money (read: cute girls, lots of Madonna and cheap drinks).

One of my jobs at Nos was that I got to plan the Día de Visibilidad Lesbica (Lesbian Visibility Day) with a bunch of other rad queer girls, bois, and boys. We sit up in the middle of Plaza Bib-Rambla (which is one of the biggest in the city and also, as a sidenote, has the very best churros) and played lesbian trivia games, held a safe sex workshop, talked about our feelings and posed for a really lovely portrait series done by my friend Bianca. The goal of the series to have everyone write down a word or two or three that they felt described them, apart from their sexual orientation. For some people, it was a chance to say, I’m a lesbian but I’m also a cook, an activist, a musician. For others it was a chance to say I’m in your classes at school, I’m happy just like you are, I dance just like you do and also guess what: I’m a lesbian. We were met with nothing but support from the local granadiños and tourists passing through the plaza. Basically, it was the best day of all the days.

One of the most helpful resources for me has been Granada Entiende (Granada Understands). They’ve published a map of all the gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses which you can find at almost any of the restaurants or clubs mentioned above or online.

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College Life

Like I said, I’m here studying abroad and I love it. If you’re looking for a program here in Granada I highly, highly recommend SIT — the classes and excursions are wonderful and, on top of that, the staff was incredibly helpful in placing me with a welcoming family and helping me find volunteering opportunities at Nos. The University of Granada is one of the most prestigious and progressive universities in Spain and has students from all over Europe. In fact, if you’re reading from this side of the pond, you should know that the University hosts more Erasmus students every year than any other university in Europe. There are always interesting events being held by different facultades that are usually open to the public. For example, this Thursday the School of Social Work is starting a new dialogue group about sexuality, stereotypes about LGBT people and LGBT people’s experiences with Sex Ed that should be pretty rad. Because there are so many people from Somewhere Else studying, working andliving in Granada, the community on CouchSurfing is really active. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests and get to know the city a bit better!

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Do Work

Sitting in a coffeeshop for hours on a Sunday to get work done, read Sunday Funday, or nurse your hangover is not really a big thing in Spain. Luckily, two weeks after I got here, Lamita opened and it is now my favorite place to do all of those things. It’s a coffeeshop and bookstore tucked away on a side street in the center of the city. The coffee is bomb, the chairs are super comfy, and they have TWO queer and feminist lit sections (one in Spanish and one in English). Lots of cute queer-ish looking girls have been popping up at the shop, but because it’s still brand new and kind of hidden you can basically always find a seat near an outlet for your laptop.

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Neighborhoods of Interest

Despite its small size, Granada is one of those cities where each neighborhood has a different feel. The two biggest Gayborhoods are the Plaza Trinidad/Plaza Lobos area (although it tends to cater more to the boys) and the Calle Elvira area at the base of the Albaycin. Around Plaza Lobos you’ll get more of a feel for the newer center of the city — it’s full of the typical gay bars you’ll find anywhere else and is also home to two big LGBT organizations. The Albaycin is the old Arabic part of the city (Granada was the last stronghold of the Moors before they were expelled from Spain). There you’ll find Granada’s claim to fame, the Alhambra, which is a huge, incredible castle surrounded by lots of expat hippies. You’ll also meet lots of dreadlocked queers with their dogs, which is always a great thing.

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Getcha Ears Lengthened

I lucked out and ended up with a host sister who a) has a pixie cut like mine and b) is a real life professional hair dresser. While I haven’t had any haircuts in salons here, most of my queer lady friends have told me that they trust the stylists at Underground Hair Factory (c/ Moral Magdalena 22) to keep their mullets under control.

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Places to Avoid

I wouldn’t really say that there are any neighborhoods to avoid entirely in Granada, except perhaps the caves of Sacromonte at night because they will be pitch black and you’ll probably trip and roll down the mountain. My girlfriend and I had a pretty bad experience at El Camborio and so, while I’ve had fun going to the bigger clubs just to dance with friends, there are sometimes lots of seedy guys and they aren’t exactly welcoming places for queer couples.

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Date Night

Here’s what I would recommend:

1. Get a moped from Ecoway Rentals (Plaza Nueva) and take your girl up to the tippy top of the Albaycin.
2. Stop into a market and get some bread, Serrano ham, Manchego cheese and cheap red wine then head to the Mirador de San Nicolas to listen to the flamenco guitar and castanet players and watch the sunset.
3. Go to the Alhambra Cafe in Plaza Bib Rambla for the best churros con chocolate in the city.
4. Hike up to the actual Alhambra for the nighttime tour.

That’s all, folks! Have have lots of fun, let me know if you have more questions and feel free to buy me a mojito.

Queer Girl City Guide: Mexico City

I moved to Mexico City a year and a half ago to teach English after I graduated from college. I’m originally from Illinois, so I definitely have an outsider’s perspective on the city; but I also love it here, and I’m so excited to tell you all about how wonderful it is.

Mexico City, also known as Distrito Federal, or D.F., is one of the biggest cities in the world. It’s located in the Valley of Mexico, on top of what used to be a large lake, surrounded by mountains. Sometimes, depending on where you are in the city/ how bad the pollution is, you can even see the mountains! The city is divided in to 16 delegaciones (boroughs) and who knows how many hundreds of colonias (neighborhoods). Fun fact: people who live in D.F. are known as chilangos or defeños.

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The Gay Situation

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Mexico City is, in many ways, the gay capital of Mexico (the other competitor for this title is Guadalajara, but I’ve never been there, so I can’t say). It’s large and cosmopolitan, which tends to ensure that people will be open-minded. Queer people here enjoy a whole host of important rights: same-sex marriage is legal in D.F., same-sex couples can jointly adopt children, trans* people can change their gender on legal documents. In Zona Rosa you are sure to find cute queer couples canoodling and kissing, but you won’t look at all out of place holding hands with your sweetie in Condesa or Roma, either. Even in my very boring, un-cool neighborhood (Navarte), I occasionally see queer couples. Most parts of D.F. are, if not gay-friendly, then at least gay-tolerant. However, it’s a big and diverse city, and what is fine in one neighborhood may not be considered acceptable in another. I’ve only recommended places in this guide that I think you can confidently go to while being queer; but when visiting new parts of the city, you should make a quick judgement of your surroundings before you start making out with your girlfriend.

These are some of the neighborhoods you’ll want to know while you’re here:

Centro Histórico, which is crowded and old and filled with historic buildings, but which also has a lot of cool stuff to do if you know where to find it.
Roma and Condesa, D.F’s trendy / hipster / yuppie neighborhoods, where you’ll find a lot of the best bars and coffee shops and such.
Coyoacán, the former home of Frida Kahlo, which used to be its own town and now is one of the quieter, more idyllic parts of the city.
Zona Rosa is a strange mix of gay clubs, sex shops, and fast food stores, frequented both by queers and by the business people who work on nearby Reforma. It’s not for everyone, but it’s the place to be if you want to find fellow queers.

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The Queer Bars

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Zona Rosa is the obvious place to go when looking for queer bars. The scene is very club-focused, and, as is true in many gay neighborhoods, it caters mostly to men. But not to fear, queer ladies! There’s stuff for us here too, and it’s worth point out that women are generally welcome everywhere, even though you might end up in the minority.

Just so that you’re prepared, I should note that the gay clubs here almost always feature stripper shows (usually male), along with drag queens and other performers.

On Thursdays, Lipstick (Amberes 1) has lesbian night, with no cover for women before 10:30. Lipstick is an upscale-type place, with a fancy staircase leading upstairs to multiple rooms with some seating and chandeliers and big windows. The women are pretty and mostly femme-y, and the beers are expensive.

Cabaretito (Londres 77) also has a lesbian night on Thursdays, with a very different crowd. This place has a more casual vibe and a wider variety of gender expression than at a place like Lipstick. The women are friendly and the drinks are cheap. On Thursdays men aren’t allowed on the main dance floor, so leave your guys friends at home.

Botas Bar (Niza 45) has two different floors, one for men and one for women, so this is your place to go for a women’s bar on a night other than Thursday. This place has a somewhat older crowd than most of the bars in Zona Rosa; you’ll see lots of couples dancing to cumbia here. Not a great place to meet single girls, in my experience, but a good place to go with a group of friends.

Of the mixed bars, I like Lollipop (Amberes 14) best. This is your classically generic gay bar with three floors and lots of people dancing to electronic/pop music. They have a nice balcony on the second floor that overlooks Amberes street, where you can go for some fresh air or a cigarette. Though it’s mostly men, there are always other women there.

If you don’t like clubs, you’ve got plenty of other options in Zona Rosa. I’m a big fan of Taco-Bar (Estraburgo 33). This strangely named place (if they serve tacos, I’ve never seen anyone eating them) serves very cheap beer to a crowd of young queers clustered around outside the bar, with loud music blasting from within. It gets busy on the weekends, when you can find people dancing on the sidewalks or singing along to Selena songs.

There’s also La Botica (Amberes 1b), a mezcalería with a few different locations in the city, though this one is obviously the gayest. Mezcal is a smokey liquor made from the maguey plant (it’s like tequila). It’s extremely popular in D.F., so you’ll see mezcalerías all over the place. La Botica is one of the best.

If you’re tired of Zona Rosa, there’s also a small queer area in the Centro Histórico, on República de Cuba. This street is even more male-dominated than Zona Rosa, but I like it because it has less of a chain-store vibe. There you will find Mexico City’s gay cantina, El Viena (República de Cuba 2). A cantina is a classic style of Mexican bar, traditionally reserved only for men. El Viena is still overwhelmingly male, but it’s a friendly place; you might want to go on a weeknight for a more relaxed atmosphere, though. They’ve got a great jukebox at this place, filled with Spanish-language hits, and some Madonna thrown in for good measure.

Next door to Viena is Oasis (República de Cuba 3), another very male bar that is fun nonetheless. Down the street there are some better options for meeting girls. La Purísima (República de Cuba 17) has a dance floor downstairs and a pulquería upstairs. Pulque is another alcoholic drink made of maguey. It’s an acquired taste—one that I have yet to acquire—but they also serve beer. The pulquería is kind of kitschy and fun to take people to, though the loud music makes it difficult to have a conversation. I guess you’re just going to have to sit extra close to that cute girl you’re with! Across the street is Marrakech Salón (Republica de Cuba 18), which gets very crowded and is a fun place to go dance after you’ve had your fill of pulque.

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The Other Bars

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Maybe you’re tired of the club scene at the gay bars, or maybe you just want to hang out in some other parts of the city. There are many, many bars in the city where you can comfortably go as a queer person and enjoy yourself. Here are a few of the places I like to go:

La Nacional (Orizaba and Querétaro, Col. Roma) is a popular mezcalería that also has a good selection of Mexican beers, if you’d like to try something beyond the usual Corona/Victoria/Indio boring beers most bars stock. Actually, this one block—Orizaba between Querétaro and San Luis Potosí— is filled with bars, one right next to the other. Next door to La Nacional is another Botica, then a beer bar called La Graciela, and then a couple more bars next to that one. Around the corner is Lilit (Orizaba 125, Col. Roma), which serves cocktails that are pricey but delicious.

This is a good street to go bar hopping—all the bars fun, generally crowded, and when you get tired of one place you can just move next door. Another good street for bars is calle Regina, in the Centro Histórico. This pedestrian street is filled with cute mezcalerías and little restaurants, and there are always people out. I like Al Andar (Regina 27) for mezcal—the staff are really friendly and will help you pick out a mezcal if you don’t know what to order. Down the street is Los Canallas (Regina 57), which has great mojitos, good sangria, and other mixed drinks, along with a relatively extensive menu. The bar’s attached to a hostel, so there are often tourists here; but it somehow resists feeling touristy.

Salón Malafama (Michoacán 78, Col. Condesa) is my choice for pool—its big space is almost entirely given to well-maintained pool tables. It can get pretty crowded at peak times, so you might have to wait for a table. Or you could come earlier—they have discounts before 4. They serve food at this place, but I’ve never seen anyone eating it.

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Things to Eat and Drink

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Mexico City is a great food city. The best way to eat here is to eat on the street—street food is delicious, cheap, and available everywhere you go. It’s hard to recommend specific stands, both because there are so many amazing ones and because it can be hard to find any individual one if you don’t already know where it is; but I can tell you some of the foods you should look out for.

In the mornings you should have tamales. They’re sold out of big metal canisters, along with atole, a sweet, hot, corn-based drink that I highly recommend. Later in the day you can have tacos, piles of meat with salsa and cilantro and onion all on top of a soft corn tortilla. Go for the al pastor if you see it—these tacos, with pork marinated on a shawarma-style spit with pineapple, are a Mexico City specialty. If you don’t eat meat, you could have quesadillas, instead. Quesadillas, which do not automatically include cheese here, can be stuffed with anything from squash blossoms to huitlacoche (corn fungus) to more meat. At most quesadilla stands you’ll see them making the tortillas fresh and by hand! These places usually sell other corn dough based foods, like gorditas, huaraches, and tlacoyos, so ask what your options are. Then there are tortas, the Mexican sandwich with avocado, tomato, mayo, chipotle, and/or rajas (spicy pickled peppers). I usually get egg and cheese, but there are lots of other choices.

Also be on the look out for esquites: cups of corn mixed with mayo, lime, salt, chile powder, and cheese. YUM. For something to drink, the juice stands sell amazing fresh-squeezed juices in all sorts of combinations, and with prices that will make you horrified that you ever paid 4 bucks for a tiny little glass of fresh juice back in the States. I recommend the anti-gripal (flu-fighter): orange juice, guava, pineapple, lime, and honey.

Eventually, though, you might want some options other than street food. Not a problem! Here are some suggestions:

Delirio (Alvaro Obregón and Monterrey, Col. Roma) is a trendy cafe-deli on Roma’s central street, Alvaro Obregón. Owner Mónica Patiño is one of D.F.’s most prominent chefs, and this is her venture in to more casual dining. They sell delicious sandwiches and salads here, along with things like bread, jams, cheeses, and coffee beans to take home with you. Eat your food on the sidewalk tables for excellent people-watching.

Corazón de Arbol (Coahuila 143, Col. Roma) is a small and adorable vegetarian restaurant. They have a wonderful rooftop patio where you can eat which might make you temporarily forget that you’re in a major metropolis. Downstairs they also sell hard-to-find products like quinoa and organic milk.

If you want to try some food from the Yucatan region, I like Xnic (Tabasco 258, Col. Roma). They serve two yucateco specialties at this hole-in-the-wall: sopa de lima, a chicken soup with lime and tortillas, and cochinita pibil, a delicious type of marinated pulled pork.

Cancino (Plaza Villa Madrid 13, Col. Roma) might be a good place for a date night. They serve what I think is the best pizza in D.F., with toppings as traditional as margherita and as strange as baba ghanoush. The wood burning oven they bake the pizzas in makes for a nice backdrop, and the restaurant faces the very striking Cibeles fountain.

MOG (Alvaro Obregón 40, Col. Roma) is a Japanese restaurant in a space that looks like it’s been furnished with flea market finds: mis-matched chairs, old lamps, strange art on the walls. The waitstaff are all beautiful hipsters and the food is tasty.

I like Las Soupremes (Chilpancingo 35, Col. Condesa) largely because of their awesome name; but they also serve good soups, salads, and sandwiches there, with well-marked vegetarian and vegan options.

Good coffee can be frustratingly hard to find here (they grow coffee in Mexico! Why does everyone drink instant?) but I like La Jardinera (Campeche 294, Col. Condesa). This place is small and fairly new, but the atmosphere’s friendly, and they sell little sandwiches and other snacks along with the coffee (make sure to ask for it without sugar, if that’s how you like it, or they’ll add it automatically). Café Toscano (Av. México and Michoacán, Col. Condesa) also has good coffee, plus a perfect location right in front of the beautiful Parque México. This one’s not cool at all, but the best cup of coffee I’ve had here was at the Palacio de Hierro department store in Coyoacán. They have an espresso machine in the food section, and you can take your cup and drink it at the tables in the lovely… mall. I wouldn’t recommend it for the atmosphere, but try it if you’re a desperate coffee snob.

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But Where Will I Buy My Books?

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I don’t know about you all, but I won’t live in a city that doesn’t have good bookstores. Here are the places I like:

My favorite bookstore in all of D.F. is Under the Volcano Books (Cerrada Chiapas 40-C, Col. Roma), Mexico City’s only dedicated English-language, used bookstore. Grant, the ex-pat owner, keeps the place stocked with amazing books, including stuff by queer favorites such as Jeanette Winterson and Dorothy Allison. On most Friday nights he hosts BYOB get-togethers at the store; it’s a great place to meet English-speaking literary types, if that’s your thing.

El Péndulo is a big bookstore with several locations here—I like the one in Condesa (Nuevo Leon 115), which has a nice selection of English-language books; but the one in Polanco (Alejandro Dumas 81) has been featured on at least one world’s most beautiful bookstores list, so that might be worth seeing. All the Péndulos have little restaurants inside, where you can order food with punny literary names like “Ensalada de Pollo Neruda” (chicken Neruda salad).

I have my money on Fondo de Cultura Económica Rosario Castellanos (Tamaulipas 202, Col. Condesa) for most beautiful bookstore in D.F. They’ve got a huge, very stylish space, filled with books on all subjects. I think they’ve got an especially good selection of art and design books. There’s a coffee shop in the store, so you can sit and read your book while you’re there.

Armario Abierto (Agustin Melgar 25) sells books about sex and sexuality. It’s a very small space, but much of it’s dedicated to queer stuff. Here you can get back issues of Mexico City’s sporadically published lesbian feminist magazine, LeSVOZ. They also stock a small selection of sex toys.

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Things to Do

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You may think that you’re going to be spending all you time in D.F. partying in Zona Rosa and stuffing yourself with delicious food, but you’re probably going to want to do other things, too.

The Museo Nacional de Antropología is Mexico City’s most famous museum, and with good reason: this place is absolutely fascinating. The massive building that houses the museum is divided in to two levels. The first floor is archeological artifacts from all over Mexico—think Olmec heads from the east coast, Mayan hieroglyphs from the south and Mexica sculptures from the Valley of Mexico. The second story is devoted to exhibits on contemporary culture in Mexico, with a focus on indigenous groups and traditions.

Everyone’s favorite queer Mexican painter, Frida Kahlo, lived in D.F., and her house is now a museum: the Casa Azul. Go there to learn about her life and to see the rooms she lived in; don’t go expecting to see many of her actual paintings. For that, you’re better off at the Museo Dolores Olmedo Patiño.

If you want to see a movie while you’re here, my recommendation is the Cineteca Nacional. Have you ever seen a huge movie theater completely packed on a weekday night for a Fellini film? I have—at the Cineteca! They show a great selection of old, artsy, and/or independent movies from all over the world (which means you can often find something in English if you don’t understand Spanish). It’s currently closed for renovations, but they’ve been farming out their screenings to other theaters around town and should be up and running again soon.

Xochimilco is one of those things you can only do in D.F., and you should definitely experience it while you’re here. Back in the day, before the Spaniards came and Mexico City was still Tenochtitlan, the whole city was built around a series of canals, like in Venice. The Spaniards filled in most of the canals, but they still exist at Xochimilco. This is the best way to do it: go with a big group of friends—the more the better! Bring lots of food, beer, portable speakers; whatever you think you might want for a party. You can get that stuff on the canals, but it will be more expensive/not as good. You hire a boat driver to take you through the canals—you’ll negotiate the length of the trip and price before you get on (and you will have to haggle). Then you just relax on your boat and watch the other people go by. There’s a real festive atmosphere out there, especially on Sundays. You’ll see big families, groups of friends, tourists, floating mariachis selling songs.

If you’re not going to Xochimilco, La Lagunilla flea market is a great way to spend your Sunday mornings. Walk through all the clothes and bootleg CDs to get to the good stuff—antique furniture, LPs, Mexican crafts, and random flea market knick-knacks. There’s lots of food being sold here, so you can snack while you shop or get a michelada (beer+lime+salt+other sauces) since Lagunilla seems to fall in to some loophole regarding the normal laws against drinking outside.

If sports are your things, there’s lots to see in D.F. I’m a big baseball fan, so I like going to see the Diablos Rojos play (though I should warn you that you stand a good chance of hearing someone yell homophobic slurs at the opposing team—booo). Mexico City also has three major soccer teams: Club América, Cruz Azul, and Pumas. I don’t like soccer so I’ve never been, but, unsurprisingly, it’s very popular here. If you like your sports teams with women, Mexico City has roller derby! Visit their facebook for info on matches.

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College

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Mexico City is home to several universities, the largest of which is the UNAM (National Autonomous University of Mexico). The UNAM is an elite public university with a huge campus in the southern part of the city. The campus and the area surrounding it is known as Ciudad Universitaria (University City), which should give you some idea of the size. Of special interest to most of you, I suspect, is the Centro de Enseñanza para Extranjeros (The Teaching for Foreigners Center), which offers Spanish classes.

Since I don’t attended UNAM and I don’t know many people who do, I don’t know C.U. very well; but where there are college students, there are queers, so you should probably go there. The UNAM has a group for queer girls called the Grupo Lésbico Universitario; though “university” is in the name, their website says that non-students are welcome as are people with identities other than “lesbian”.

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Safety

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The first question I usually get from people back home about living in Mexico is “Is it safe?” The good news is that all the drug war stuff you read about in the news is not really an issue here. In terms of drug violence, Mexico City is actually one of the safest places to be in Mexico right now. However, regular old urban crime—think muggings and assaults—is a problem here. There are parts of D.F. that are known to be more dangerous (Iztapalapa, Tepito, to name a couple), but crime is a problem all over the city. You don’t have to be paranoid, but you should be careful: be aware of your surroundings, watch your back, don’t wander the streets late at night wasted out of your mind, etc. You know, pretty much what you should be doing in any major urban area.

One thing new arrivals to Mexico City are often told is that hailing a taxi off the street is dangerous. I do hear stories about taxi kidnappings, but I still hail cabs all the time, as do most of the chilangos I know. However, if my Spanish were worse or if I didn’t know my way around the city as well, I might not feel as comfortable doing that. A safe alternative are taxi stands (sitios), which you can find all over the city. Alternately, you can call a cab—I keep taxi numbers stored in my cell phone, and you can usually get a car to come for you within 15 minutes. TaxiMex (56 34 99 12) is a good one.

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Resources

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When I first moved to D.F., Macha Mexico was my #1 reference for the queer scene in the city. Run by an American, this English-language blog is filled with information about queer and queer-friendly events for women (macha= dyke). Sadly, it hasn’t updated in over a year, but the archives are still worth reading.

Mexico City has a queer community center, the Centro Comunitario de Atención a la Diversidad Sexual (Génova 30-H, Col. Zona Rosa). They offer legal assistance, workshops, HIV testing, etc.

The weekly events guide, Tiempo Libre, has a section for LGBT listings. You can buy it at news stands.

Well, that’s it, that’s all there is to do in Mexico City! Just kidding, you could never fit all there is to do in Mexico City in to one guide. But hopefully this is a good starting point. Any chilangas out there who want to tell me what I missed?

Queer Girl City Guide: Miami, FL

Miami, like someone you meet at a bar, might initially seem to lack some depth, but once you get to know her you’ll realize she’s super cute inside and out. She’s home to a bustling new art scene, indie movie houses, amazing drag shows and most importantly really hot lesbians. Seriously hot. Literally hot. Lesbians. Instead of “we built this city on rock and roll,” think- “we built this city on a swamp and limestone.” It feels swampy and humid for at least half the year, which is great if you’re into sweaty chicks. The other half of the year is practically perfect, hence the busloads of Canadian tourists during the holidays.

But I digress. Miami needs a queer girl city guide! I’ve lived here for 22 years, but for most of that time I wasn’t out or of legal drinking age. I went away to college for nine months my freshmen year, and when I came back I was a lesbian and a vegetarian. I thought it would be easy to find gay girls and lesbians events, but Google searches just led to a ’90s time warp; most websites linked to old closed bars. After getting involved with local non-profits and changing my major to gender studies, I started collecting little tidbits of queer information. It finally feels like I’ve found the bubbling queer scene Miami has to offer.

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Where The Grrrls At?!

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Sunset Tavern (7232 Southwest 59th Avenue) on Thursday nights is a staple lesbian watering hole. The demographic is mostly early twenty-somethings. The bar has dancing inside and a huge patio out front and is connected to Deli Lane, a restaurant owned by a couple of very LGBT supportive people. If you’re looking to eat or drink somewhere in South Miami you might as well support a restaurant that supports you/us. Mova Thursdays (1625 Michigan Avenue) is a gay bar with a ladies night, but the turnout isn’t too big. Kill Your Idol (222 Espanola Way Miami Beach) Wednesday Ladies Night isn’t explicitly for lesbogays, but a lot of us show up. It may or may not be because of the free drinks.

New Moon (2440 Wilton Drive) — Oh, New Moon. The only all-the-time, always and forever, lesbian bar in South Florida. Weekdays draw an older crowd, but most weekends welcome a good mix of ages. There is a pool table inside that’s usually surrounded by dancing dykes and a patio with a bar outside. Definitely check out their events page because the Friday and Saturday events usually bring in the most lady gays.

Both Pandora Events and Icandee Events throw lesbian events every month of every queer year. They want you to dance with a lady. Do you want to dance with a lady? Join their mailing lists!

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Not Explicitly Queer, But Definitely Friendly

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Bardot (3456 N Miami Avenue) is super hip. Sometimes there is cover at the door if there is a show playing, so check their calendar before heading out. Last time I checked, Electric Pickle (2826 N Miami Avenue) has ladies-drink-free night on Thursday. I’ve never had a bad night at the Pickle — it’s a two-story dancing palace with an outside patio and a pool table. Vagabond (30 NE 14th Street) goes right along with the rest of this crowd. Like the others it’s got great music, great people and is mostly hetero, but my friends have found dates here.  These establishments are all fairly shnazzy as in kind-of-expensive-but-I’m-in-college-so-‘expensive’-is-definitely-relative. As far as dress code is concerned, they’re pretty chic but I’ve worn my Converses to all these places.

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Good Places to Put Food in Your Mouth

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As a lady gay who wards off all kinds of meat (you know, like actual meat), it’s my duty to tell you where you can find delicious meatless dishes. Finding vegetarian-friendly restaurants is actually a problem in Miami because a lot of Cuban food is deep-fried in pork broth. It’s a good idea to always tell the person you’re ordering from or eating with that you’re a vegetarian. These are some of my favorite veggie-friendly restaurants:

Books and Books (927 Lincoln Road # 118) has delicious food and outdoor dining, plus it’s a great place to people-watch. As an added bonus, when you’re done eating you can check out their book store. Gigi’s (3470 North Miami Avenue) and Sakaya Kitchen are only blocks away from each other in Midtown. Gigi’s serves this bun with sauteéd mushrooms inside that actually makes my heart smile. Sakaya has spicy tater tots! It’s so good it makes me use excited exclamation points! If you drive up a little further on Biscayne Boulevard you’ll hit Steve’s Pizza (12101 Biscayne Boulevard) which I think is the most scrumptious pizza in Me-ami.

Whisk (7382 Southwest 56th Avenue) serves fried green tomatoes that’re almost better than the movie. Sushi Cafe (7917 NW 2nd Street) is near Mall of the Americas. I’m including it because West Miami gets no love. They have a bim bim bop that is so, SO good and a bunch of korean beer and wine.

For a more comprehensive guide to finding vege-restaurants check out this website.

While Cuban restaurants aren’t the most vegetarian friendly, you do need to check out a Cuban pastry shop. You don’t live in Miami until you’ve had a pastelito (Spanish for “little cake”). Go to Gilbert’s Bakery (5777 Bird Road) stat and tell them you want a guava pastelito. Also try a staple Cuban breakfast: pan tostada con cafe con leche, otherwise known as toasted (and buttered) Cuban bread and coffee with milk!

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Gayborhoods of Interest

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South Beach is a gay mecca, mainly for dudes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rollerblade around holding your girlfriend’s hand. Anything goes on SoBe; you can dress, act, look and kiss however/whoever you want, but you might not find parking. (If you park in a residential spot you will get towed.) Lincoln Road is an outdoor mall in Miami Beach that has a farmers market on Saturday mornings as well as lots of food, shops and galleries to check out. There are rumors that it will be home to the new H&M.

Of all the hoods, Wilton Manors has my heart. It’s the only self-proclaimed gayborhood in South Florida. The majority of bars and clubs cater to gay men BUT, BUT!!!! “The Manor” is home to New Moon. It’s in Fort Lauderdale, which is Miamian for “Very Far Away” but it’s so worth the trip just to see sidewalks filled with the people like you.

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Non-profits That Care About You!

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One of the best ways to find girls or like-minded people in Miami is to get involved with non-profits. All of these are community based and all have volunteer and donor opportunities.

YES Institute‘s (5275 Sunset Drive) mission is to prevent youth suicide and ensure the healthy development of all youth through powerful communication and education on gender and orientation. I highly recommend taking their gender and orientation courses. I took their course, Communications Solutions, to learn hot to have heated discussions without getting angry. Clearly an important skill set when you care about queer politics/activism. They also have a resource and referral guide that includes a list of doctors who can assist anyone who is in the process of gender transitioning.

Pridelines Youth Services is Miami’s queer youth center. Youth, as in 24-years-old and younger, can use their facilities, go on field trips, and attend programs sponsored by the organization. There’s even Gay Prom which you can totes attend or volunteer at! They also assist youth who’ve been displaced from their home.

Aqua Girl Foundation is the wonderful non-profit that brings us our beloved Aqua Girl events. They have grants and scholarships open for all LBT peeps and hold conferences like Outlet — a forum for women in the arts – -all year long.

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Peoples That Know The Law

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As the largest LGBT civil rights organization in Florida, Equality Florida published a guide to laws in Florida that affect LGBT families. In Miami-Dade county in particular, there’s Save Dade, an LGBT civil rights group.

Gay Pride

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Miami Beach Pride and Greater Fort Lauderdale Pride are huge-mungous and even have great parties for lady-seeking ladies. I’ve heard Key West Pride can be a lot of fun. Just imagine a bunch of LGBTers bar hopping for a whole week; sounds like the perfect get-away.

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Performing Arts or Arts Groups

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Out in the Tropics is South Florida’s first Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Contemporary Performing Arts Festival. They bring in queer artists from around the world and showcase Miami’s own talent. Sleepless Nights is an all-night cultural art event on South Beach that hosts a bunch of sneaky queer art events throughout the night, you just gotta find them. If you don’t, you can always watch run-of-the-mill trapeze artists jumping around the sides of a building. Second Saturdays at the Design District and Wynwood have art gallery walks, lots of good food trucks all around and (usually) free drinks at each gallery.

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Indie Movie Houses!

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Miami has a lot of indie movie houses that showcase foreign, and often queer, films. O cinema (90 NW 29th St.) is pretty on the outside and houses little galleries all around the lobby. I go to the Coral Gables Art Cinema (260 Aragon Ave) a lot since I live around there and haven’t yet been to the Cinematheque (512 Espanola Way) in Miami Beach, but I assume it’s great like the others.

The Borsct Film Festival, showcases Miami filmmakers making films in and about Miami. The turnout is huge, so get to the events early. We’re also lucky enough to have the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival which always has the best queer films. If you’re looking for international films, check out the Miami International Film Festival. If you’re a student at Miami-Dade College you can score free tickets to some of the movies and if you’re a student from elsewhere there’s still some pretty great pricing to events and theatres.

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Drag It Up

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Juleisy and Karla are a drag team duo from Hialeah who do hilarious and fun shows! The Sunday night drag show at Bill’s Filling Station (2209 Wilton Drive) is uh-mazing. The bathroom doors don’t lock, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please pee before you leave the house. Drag It Out has drag workshops! They. Have. DRAG WORKSHOPS! It might be the coolest thing you ever read, but it gets better — all proceeds go to queers, kids and animals. All the things I love!

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Dating Scene

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Other than meeting girls at bars or meeting them through your friend’s girlfriends’ friend, the interwebs is probably the best way to meet lucky ladies. There is a Tumblr for “Florida girls who like girls” that can be very lucrative. The age demographic is pretty young: usually 17-to-26-year-olds. If you’re looking for an older crowd, the Miami Mollies is a social meet-up group for LBT women.

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LBT Events

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Aqua Girl is the Dinah Shore of the south. So many girls, so many bikinis. So great. The Women’s White Party happens in November, usually Thanksgiving weekend.

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Nature! And other cool things!

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Go to the Everglades! You can’t walk by an alligator anywhere else. I think. Go to all the beaches! Figure out the one you like best. Go there every week. Get a super hot tan. Visit Calle Ocho (translation: eighth street). It’s a historically Cuban neighborhood with lots of Cuban restaurants, galleries and cigar shops with professional cigar rollers.

Feature image via Time

Queer Girl City Guide: Amherst and Northampton, MA

(Ed. note: Originally two city guides, these were combined because Amherst and Northampton are so close in geographical location and in spirit. Some sections are divided into Amherst and NoHo, and some are applicable to both.)

Amherst

I nervously moved to the sleepy town of Amherst*, Massachusetts almost six semesters ago, not sure what to expect. I was somehow under the impression that the town was literally in the middle of nowhere with absolutely nothing to do and that I’d be bored all the time. I wasn’t out to anyone (even myself), and even though my dad’s side of the family all went to school here I somehow had no clue about Amherst’s hippie-liberal vibe.

Now, I really love this tiny little town. Having lived in the liberal bubble of Massachusetts my whole life, I’ve found Amherst even more queer-friendly than other parts of the state (except Northampton and Provincetown). I’ll be sad when I have to leave for grad school.

*protip: The H is silent. Enunciate it and I will shove a sharp object into your eye.

Northampton

Hello queermos! Emily and Mareika here. We really like Northampton and you should too. Northampton is known as the lesbian capital of the world (we have no reference for this) because it is basically a lesbian commune on a larger scale (this may or may not be true).

In all seriousness, though, the city is extremely queer-friendly. Actually, we always do a double-take when we see straight couples holding hands because there’s that many queers. If you like butches with babies, or gay dads with four kids, or quirky people of every kind, you will like Northampton, aka Noho. A lot of people you will meet in Noho are in undergraduate or graduate school. They are probably very smart and they probably listen to NPR (station 88.5).

Overall, Northampton is queertastic. There’s a lot of gay families, and people of all ages. It’s very economically diverse, but not so much racially. Even though it’s the lesbian capital, there’s still a ton of gay boys, and they have their own event/info site too…no, not grindr. There’s an extremely large trans community, both trans men AND women. There’s no tension or exclusion among the G, L, B, and T communities. Cohabitation is happy and peaceful! Even the non-queer people (which must be like 40% of the population) have shared interests in things like veganism and organic things and local and feminism. It’s way cheaper to live here than in bigger cities, and it’s cheaper to go for a bigger house/apartment. One- or two-bedroom ones are kind of expensive because the landlords want to over-charge Smith students. There’s lots of apartments with good access to Main Street AND there’s a bike trail that goes just about everywhere. And lastly, just in case you were worried about your rights, Massachusetts was the first state to pass marriage equality, and there’s also a bunch of gender expression and identity laws — Northampton and Amherst even have nondiscrimination statutes that cover public accommodations.

Lesbian Bars

Amherst

Unfortunately, Amherst isn’t really big enough to sustain a dedicated lesbian bar. Go to Northampton instead. (No, seriously. Go to Northampton. It’s connected to Amherst by a bus which is only $1.25/free if you’re a student, and I promise you there will be lots of ladies). It does have some not-particularly gay bars though, which I will list here! (Stay away from the Monkey Bar at all costs.)

Moan & Dove (460 W St.)
This bar is known for its large beer selection. They also have barrels of peanuts at the door, so, you know. Yelp describes their ambience as “hipster” and “casual”, which is possibly all I ever wanted in a bar? It’s not downtown so it’s kind of secluded, but it’s still on a bus route.

Amherst Brewing Company (10 University Dr.)
This is a pretty casual place if you just want to kick back and relax with some friends. They moved last fall from their space on East Pleasant St. to a larger space over on University Drive. I haven’t actually been to their new location yet so I don’t really know how much I can recommend this but I’ve enjoyed going here in the past. Also, if you go to UMass, you will end up taking somebody here for their first legal drink on their 21st birthday.

Lit (41 Boltwood Walk)
Amherst’s classiest. It’s a restaurant until 10 and after that they move the tables away and it turns into a club. They have a waterfall under the dance floor. A WATERFALL.

Northampton

So, almost everywhere you go is welcoming and probably has at least two other queers inside.

Tunnel Bar: (125A Pleasant Street.) Tunnel Bar is a secret-ish place without a sign, which is why they don’t even have a website. It’s across the street from the Pearl Street Nightclub. It’s super sweet because it’s underground and in an old train tunnel. Sometimes it’s hard to get

a drink while dodging all the breeders, but there is usually lots of seating, whether it’s upstairs or downstairs. Upstairs is a good/private date space. Relaxed/dark atmo, tunnel-y.

WWII Club/The Deuce: (50 Conz St.) Home of Bon Appetit Burlesque, monthly queer burlesque. Also has trivia, karaoke, open mic. Always pretty gay.

Also check out:

Ye Olde Watering Hole: (287 Pleasant St.) Hidden dive-y gem. Also, a beer can museum!
The Dirty Truth: (29 Main St.) Lots of beers ‘n’ queers.
Hugo’s: (285 Pleasant St.) Also dive-y and fun.
Northampton Brewery: 11 Brewster Court.

 For concert venues:

The Calvin: 19 King Street.
Pearl Street Nightclub: 10 Pearl Street.
The Iron Horse: 20 Center Street.

All of these venues frequently host some of our fave gay ladies, including T&S, Ani, Dar Williams, Alice P…I mean Uh Huh Her, and Melissa Ferrick.

Food/Cafes/Coffee Shops

Amherst

Rao’s (17 Kellogg Avenue)
This is my favorite coffee shop of all time. It’s nice and cozy. They play good music but not loud enough to actually distract you from getting your work done. I even come for reasons other than the baristas. Bring cash though, because they add a surcharge on debit/credit card purchases. All of their bathrooms are gender neutral.

Amherst Coffee (28 Amity St.)
This place is smaller than Rao’s, but in addition to coffee they also serve wine, beer, whiskey, and cocktails! They’re also open until midnight. Last time I was here there was a guy playing guitar in the middle of the shop.

Cushman Market and Cafe (491 Pine St #A)
Up in North Amherst, most students don’t know about this place because it’s not really on a bus route. It’s in an old railroad mail depot and makes delicious sandwiches of both the vegetarian and carnivorious variety. Giant collages and chalkboards everywhere, free jazz music on Saturday mornings, and a convenience-store type place in front make it a cool place to hang out for awhile.

LimeRed Teahouse (50 Main St.)
This is where you go for bubble tea if you don’t drink coffee.

Other Popular Coffee Shops/Cafes (I have not personally checked all of these out out)

The Black Sheep (79 Main St)
The Loose Goose Cafe (1 East Pleasant St.)
Mango Mango (61 Main St.)
For the brand-loyal, Dunkin’ Donuts are located at 175 University Drive and 312 College St, while Starbucks is at 71 North Pleasant St.

Late Night Eats (aka you’re drunk and starving):

Wings over Amherst (55 University Drive)
These were the reason it took me so long to become a vegetarian, which should be good enough of an endorsement for you. Also, they deliver and I swear they usually show up literally 5 minutes after placing your order. Open until 2:30am on the weekends.

Antonio’s Pizza (31 North Pleasant St.)
Antonio’s is always packed because it’s near the downtown bars. They’re known for their crazy pizza combinations (I went there last night and the choices involved pasta on pizza or quesadilla pizza). If you just want the basics, cheese pizza is $1 between midnight and 2am on Friday nights.

Rt. 9 Diner (458 Russel St. in Hadley)
Located on the Amherst-Hadley town line. Personally I find their food so-so unless it’s between midnight and 4am, because greasy diner food is the best thing ever at those hours.

Northampton

It would be impossible to list all of the restaurants that are delicious here, we left out some great ones that you can list in the comments if you like! You can find pretty much all kinds of ethnic food in Noho.

Haymarket Cafe: (185 Main St.) All-vegetarian, delicious food downstairs and coffee shop upstairs. There will almost always be gays and Smithies in the Haymarket! And cheap — the half sandwiches are pretty big, and delicious, so, you save dollah billz.

Woodstar Cafe: (60 Masonic St.) Woodstar has delish gluten-free (as well as gluten-filled) treats. They have the best bagels. And pretty amazing iced coffee. It’s cash-only though!

The Roost: (1 Market St.) The Roost is Mareika’s favorite place in Northampton, and it always has lots of people doing work/studying. Really good food and coffee — the breakfast sandwiches and grilled cheeses are ridiculous. There are queers with good fashion here, good people-watching.

The Foundry: (24 Main St.) This is a new place that just opened in March, owned by a Smith alumna. We walked in and we thought it was The Planet. Like, lesbians! Errywhere! Cute ones! It also serves alcohol at night.

Shelburne Falls: (124 King St.) Cheaper coffee than most of the other shops, but no sitting area to do homework/work.

Bread Euphoria: (206 Main Street, Haydenville, MA 01039) This place hired Mareika, so you should become a fan/patron. Also, REALLY good bread! And breakfast sandwiches, yum. It’s a little farther away than the other locales, but not so far you can’t bike.

Bueno y Sano: (134 Main St.)  There’s lotsa Mexi food in Noho, but Bueno is really good and really cheap. The two most important things.

Viva Fresh Pasta: (249 Main St.) Viva makes their own pasta/sauce. SO good.

Zen: (41 Main St.) We vote this the best Japanese food in Northampton. Recommendations: spicy salmon roll and Kirin beer.

Local Burger: (16 Main St.) Even though Emily doesn’t eat meat, she still thinks Local Burger is the best burger place — veggie or meaty. There’s also milkshakes and all the fries.

The Green Bean: (241 Main St.) There’s a few breakfast/brunch places in Noho, but the Green Bean is THE BEST. It’s super veg friendly — you can sub tofu/tempeh for everything.

Sweeties: (68 Main St.) A great candy shop with kosher and vegan options.

Gay Coffee was brought in to the world by two Smith alums, and is now roasted in Williamsburg. It’s not a place you can get coffee, but a cool local brand. Their coffee is whole bean, fair trade, organic, etc.etc.etc. and has really funny/gay packaging. Like, “Second Date: Pack the Kitties”. You can order it online, or pick it up at Pride & Joy.

College Life

Amherst is a quintessential college town due to the presence of THREE colleges within a few miles of each other. All three colleges are part of the Five College Consortium, which means if you attend one you can register for classes at any of them. (The other two colleges are nearby and are Smith and Mt. Holyoke. This means QUEER GIRLS QUEER GIRLS EVERYWHERE).

All five colleges have queer things happening all the time. Just in the last month I’ve seen Andrea Gibson at Smith and Rachel Maddow at Mt. Holyoke, and got to talk to both of these amazing human beings afterward.

Amherst College

Amherst is one of the US’s best liberal arts colleges, so you’ll obviously be getting a top-notch education if you can get into school here. Queer things include the Gay Amherst Parties (monthly queer dances open to Five College students) and a resource center and Pride Alliance, as well as a group called “Pride and Color”. Here’s a list of gender-neutral restrooms on campus!

Hampshire College

Hampshire has a very different educational philosophy than most other colleges, and I hear that Hampshire students love it. Instead of grades they get evaluations and everybody is required to do a huge project before graduating; all majors are self-designed. Hampshire’s former president Ralph Hexter was also openly gay, which is pretty cool.

Queer things include a Queer Community Alliance Center, a Center for Feminisms, a yearly conference on sexuality and gender, and queer studies program.

UMass Amherst (Disclaimer: I go here)

With 20,000+ students, its by far the biggest school around. I could type for hours on minute details of UMass but I’ll spare all of you (message me if you have questions, though).

UMass added “gender identity and expression” to its nondiscrimination policy a few years ago.

The Stonewall Center is the resource center. They do things like ally training (RAs can go through this to get a cool rainbow sticker to put on their door) and free STD testing. Their website has a wealth of information on topics ranging from gender-neutral bathrooms on campus and in town to LGBT-friendly religious groups in the area. Sign up for their weekly newsletter or check them out on Facebook if you want a summary of everything queer going on in the Pioneer Valley.

The Pride Alliance is active but doesn’t have a website. It’s more undergrad-focused and social than the Stonewall Center. Housing has special floors for queers and their allies.

Things that are not specifically queer but relevant to your queer life include the Everywoman’s Center, Earthfoods (a student-run vegetarian co-op that I may or may not spend large portions of my paycheck at) and People’s Market (student-run business with the slogan “Food for People, Not for Profit”, sells things like vegan bagels and organic coffee).

Support for LGBT Families

Amherst

There are no specifically queer groups, but most of the family-oriented things are LGBT friendly. For example, UMass’s Office of Family Resources just hosted a panel on LGBT parenting and provided free childcare during it. The Amherst Family Center is also queer-friendly. This list of accepting religious institutions in the area is probably also helpful. (There are also numerous groups in Northampton, including PFLAG if you don’t mind driving). As far as women’s resources, there’s Tapestry Health (27 Pray St), which is like Planned Parenthood, but local (and they don’t do abortions, you’ll have to go to nearby Springfield or Enfield for that). They have a rainbow on their website. Costs are determined on a sliding scale.

Northampton

Mareika’s mom’s colleague lives in Northampton and she says that 40% of families in the Northampton public schools have lesbian parents. Although this is extremely unsupported by fact/science/statistics, we think that it shows how not-alone gay parents are in the city. LGBT families are not really a minority and they have plenty of say/acceptance in the community. For further evidence of Noho as Gay Utopia, the PTOs of the four Northampton public elementary schools fundraised for and supported Transperformance in 2011. There’s a bunch of support groups, if that’s your style, as well.

Pride

Amherst

Sorry, everyone. Amherst doesn’t have Pride. Northampton does though! (I will repeat my point that Noho is REALLY CLOSE).

Northampton

Noho Pride is much bigger than you would expect for such a small city. Last year, Kate Clinton was one of the parade marshals, and Calpernia Addams and God-Des and She (you know…that song, “Lick It”? For all y’all who think you don’t know it, remember in the L Word when Shane is gonna marry Carmen, and at the bachelor party there’s that song? That.) performed.

New England’s Trans Pride Parade also happens in Northampton!

Other queer events in NoHo include:

Rainbow Riverfest: Rainbow Riverfest is like Pride and Lilith Fair had a tiny gaybie. This year, Melissa Ferrick and Bitch are headlining. Check it out, September 22nd.

The Miss Trans New England Pageant is an awesome thing and is held in Northampton.

Art Groups and Galleries

Northampton

Northampton Arts Council: Plans theater events, public art, etc. 240 Main Street Room 5, Memorial Hall.

R. Michaelson Gallery: This is the fancy art gallery in town. 132 Main Street.

A.P.E. Ltd. Gallery: This place has some cool work. It is much more contemporary than other galleries in the area. Installation and sculpture are often shown. 126 Main Street.

Social Activist Groups

The LGBT Coalition of Western Mass pretty much does all the things. No big deal, but Emily works there. She says: We were voted Valley Advocate’s NUMBER ONE BEST ACTIVIST ORGANIZATION for 2012. Ahem. Anyway. We do work with LGBTQ youth, parents of said youth, old lesbians, baby dykes, trans folks, and everyone in between of all races / ethnicities / abilities / etc. There’s workshops of all kinds, films/forums about every subject – including trans parents and youth athletes, social events, dances, and the RAINBOW RIVERFEST, which is the best/we will talk about a lil further down.

Queer Newspaper

The Rainbow Times: Emily works here too and has lots of good feelings and thinks everyone should read this one-of-a-kind publication, that gives back to LGBTQ organizations that it works with. TRT was started by two lesbians, is printed/based out of Noho, serves all of New England, and has an entire segment in Spanish, working to directly serve underrepresented communities. TRT also has done/does do, lots of additional special projects, like the Official Boston Pride guide. Not only is everything featured on their website, but on every social media network imaginable. It’s the best. Basically it should just be your number one source for everything gay.

Places to Avoid

Honestly, I’ve never felt physically unsafe in this town and I sometimes do dumb things like walk back to my house alone in the dark after consuming alcoholic beverages (don’t tell my mom!). I would avoid PDA in the Southwest Residential Area at UMass and in the vicinity of the downtown bars on Thursday-Saturday nights, due to the large drunken contingent of bros that I don’t trust to not verbally sexually harass you.

LGBT or Feminist Bookstores/Other Shopping

Amherst

Food for Thought Books (106 North Pleasant St., Tumblr, Facebook)
Not specifically queer or feminist, but it is not-for-profit, a worker’s collective, radical and progressive so it’s essentially queer/feminist. They host local authors all the time and often have hardcover books on sale in the $5-10 range. Occasionally they cosponsor open mic nights with UMass’s Stonewall Center as well.

Montague Bookmill (440 Greenfield Rd.)
A ~20 minute drive from Amherst, their slogan is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find”. (Sidenote: The first time I went here I used a GPS and was dismayed to find out that it is actually quite easy to find, albeit literally in the middle of nowhere.) This former mill is the largest used book store I’ve ever been in. What I’m trying to say is going here is like going to heaven.

Northampton

River Valley Market: (330 North King St.) Everything for all of the eating preferences, whether you are a locavore, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-phobic, or only eat mangos. It’s really hard to get hired here.

Sid Vintage: (279 Main St.) Sid Vintage has been Mareika’s favorite since high school. They basically take all of the cool things from lamer thrift stores and condense it into one little beautiful shop, where there are multicolored suede boots from the 80’s, alongside Members Only jackets, alongside fancy tie clips. And the owners are really well-dressed, kickass queers.

Faces: (175 Main St #2.) So Mareika’s girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend saw Tegan and Sara shopping here once. That was the gayest sentence ever. If you need more reasons to go than that, it has cheap but trendy clothes, and hilarious T-shirts like this one. We have heard it described as a cheaper Urban Outfitters. You will probably have crushes on the salespeople.

Oh My: (122 Main St.) GO HERE. Best feminist sex shop, ever. Even though it’s small, they have all the fancy sex toys that you’ve read about. Also the women who work there are big ‘mos, really open and supportive, so you don’t have to be embarrassed asking about pack n play/vibrators/ALL THE HARNESSES.

Raven Used Books: (4 Old South St.) Great, tiny, warm and musty. Used books galore! Mareika likes the art book section.

Thornes Marketplace: (150 Main St.) Thornes has a weird green awning, but is magical inside.

25 Central: Really fancy, femme-y clothes. They carry Free People dresses, which are amazing to look at even if you can’t afford them.

Herrells: ICE CREAM

Pride & Joy: Emily worked here. They have baby/puppy shirts that say “I love my mommies” and all the best bumper stickers.

Cornucopia: Tiny natural food market.

Booklink Booksellers: An indepedent bookstore.

Salons/Tattoos

Amherst

Unfortunately, my hair is not quite short enough to be considered alternative lifestyle. However, if I were to do that, I would not trust any of the stylists in town and would instead go to Northampton.

Northampton

Hair:

Bucci: (145 Main St.) This is like a gay version of Cost Cutters, and gets the job done for cheap.

Glamourama: 7 Old South St.

Salon 241: 241 Main St.

Tattoos:

Lucky’s: 37 Main St.

Haven: 108 Main St. 

Cost of Living

I think apartments here are pretty cheap, but my frame of reference is the Boston area is so this probably pretty skewed. A one-bedroom apartment will set you back $800-1000/month, a two-bedroom $1300ish, and a three-bedroom $1700ish. However, BEWARE if you’re thinking of living with tons of roommates. There’s a lot of tension between the townies and the students so Amherst enacted a bylaw a couple years ago that prevents more than four unrelated people from living together to cut back on large parties or some nonsense like that. That isn’t to say that there aren’t plenty of landlords who rent out entire houses to students who will particularly care if there’s a fifth person living in the house.

Big Y is the cheapest supermarket. There’s a weekly farmer’s market year round that I occasionally find a little expensive but hey, local vegetables!

Public transportation is close-to-free. A lot of the buses are operated by UMass and don’t even have fare boxes. I think technically you are supposed to buy tickets for them online but I promise you they will never check. (Note: the B43, which goes to Northampton, does have a fare box and costs $1.25).

Queer Friendliness

This is confusing sometimes. On one hand, half of the residents are Massachusetts college students who will return to suburbia after college and stay there the rest of their life, and on the other hand, there is an incredibly vibrant liberal political community working to bring awareness of issues disadvantaged groups face. However, this is Massachusetts so pretty much everyone doesn’t really care who you’re fucking. I’ve had exactly zero problems in this town since coming out and don’t have any firsthand accounts of people who have. Every once in awhile you’ll hear about isolated incidents but they are definitely not the norm (and I suspect that they are not perpetuated by locals).

Also though, Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage! This is great! It also means if you’re married filing your taxes is moderately confusing because the federal government doesn’t think you’re married but the state says you are!

Gay adoption: Legal in Massachusetts! Second-parent adoption is also legal.
Employment: Discrimination of the basis of sexual orientation has been banned for quite some time and gender identity was added to the books last fall.
Housing: Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity banned in the wholes state.
Hate crimes: MA includes sexual orientation and gender identity as protected classes.

Queer Girl City Guide: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

After 20 years in Milwaukee, I’ve heard all of the stereotypes: We subsist on cheese and beer. There’s a bowling alley on every block. We talk like those Minnesotans in “Fargo.” We must be so fat from eating all that cheese and beer and riding around on our Harleys that you can see us from cruising altitude above Flyover Country, dotting the urban landscape like so many polar-fleeced Holsteins.

Thing about stereotypes is, they don’t come out of nowhere. Milwaukeeans do love cheese and beer, and we have an unnatural fondness for bowling, and we are consistently rated one of the drinking-est, fattest cities in the country. And if the sun happens to come out and it’s over 40 degrees Fahrenheit, the sound of Harleys breaks out across the city like the buzz of an angry bees’ nest. These are only a few of our charms.

What these half-truths add up to is exactly what makes Milwaukee a great place to visit: We like to enjoy ourselves, make noise, get outside, soak up the sun, eat, drink, and party. We don’t take ourselves too seriously and we’re going to show you a good time. And although you might hear a few prim grumbles over the church bingo table about “the gays,” our pretty relaxed, live-and-let-live attitude means that Milwaukee is a comfortable place for queers.

This being Wisconsin, we even have a weird, German-like word for this feeling of being in a cozy crowd, eating and drinking, and just being accepted the way you are: “gemütlichkeit.” Look it up.

A Note on Diversity

I’m going to get to the really good stuff here in just a sec, but I can’t talk about Milwaukee without talking about race. Milwaukee is one of the most hypersegregated cities in the nation. We’re not proud of it, but there are still very clear-cut white, black, and Latino areas of the city. The bright spot in this story is that we queers are doing our part to mix it up. With the exception of the upper East Side near UWM, the gayborhoods described below are also some of the most integrated parts of the city.

Gayborhoods

In general, the neighborhoods along the Milwaukee River and Lake Michigan are the most queer-friendly. Must be something in the water. Four areas of note:

Riverwest

On the west bank of the Milwaukee River sits the gayest of ‘hoods, Riverwest, with its passionate embrace of Birkenstocks and vegan cuisine. You can get your fill of tofu scramble and nutritional yeast at the Riverwest Co-op (733 E. Clarke St.), drink strong coffee among the tatooed-and-pierced at Fuel Cafe (818 E. Center St.), and get a quirky cocktail or local beer at the member-owned Riverwest Public House (815 E. Locust St.). If your DIY skills have lost their gleam, you can polish them up at the Cream City Collectives with Free School classes in anything from container gardening to American Sign Language (732 E. Clarke St.).

East Side

The East Side, particularly Brady Street, Brewer’s Hill, and the area around the UW-Milwaukee campus, are progressive districts where nobody’ll hardly bat an eyelash if you kiss your girl over brunch. Plentiful independent coffee shops, art-house movie theaters, galleries, boutiques, bookstores, and parks make these areas fantastic places to while away a weekend. Try all seven Oaxacan moles at gay-owned Cempazuchi (1205 E. Brady St.), make a pilgrimage to the aptly-named Landmark Lanes to bowl a game or two (2220 N. Farwell Ave.), and work on your tan at Bradford Beach (2400 N. Lincoln Memorial Dr.). If you have some coin to spend, you can take in the view of downtown while savoring a locally sourced meal at Roots (1818 N. Hubbard St., Brewer’s Hill). (If you’re broke, you can get basically the same view for the price of a steep climb up onto the old reservoir in Kilbourn Park.) A drink at Hybrid (707 E. Brady St.), one of the few gay bars not located in the Walker’s Point bar district, is a nice way to start an afternoon stroll down Brady Street, an 8-block stretch of stores and restaurants in what used to be the city’s hippie hangout.

Bay View

Bay View is a hip neighborhood on the lakeshore south of downtown. Quiet but vibrant, Bay View is also known as “Gay View” for the many LGBT folks who are raising families there. Walking down Bay View’s main drag, Kinnickinnic Ave. (“KK” to the locals), will give you a chance to update your rockabilly wardrobe at the Tip Top Atomic Shop (2343 S. KK) or peruse the vinyl at Rushmor Records (2635 S. KK). I also recommend indulging in local coffee at Hi-Fi (2640 S. KK) and scrumptious from-scratch food at Honeypie Cafe (2643 S. KK) or a crazy-good pizza from lesbian-owned Classic Slice (2797 S. KK). In the summers, you can hit the farmers market in South Shore Park (Saturday mornings, 2900 S. Shore Dr.) or listen to local bands in the great out-of-doors at Chill on the Hill (Tuesday nights, Humboldt Park, 3000 S. Howell Ave.).

Walker’s Point

Walker’s Point is the center of LGBT nightlife. Radiating out from the intersection of 2nd St. and National Ave., you’ll find the majority of the city’s gay, lesbian, and mixed bars. Some closer to the harbor can be a little hard to find without a native guide, so ask for directions before setting out. Walker’s Point has some tasty Mexican and other Latin American food options, including taco trucks for the bargain-minded, and there are some excellent places for brunch, including Zak’s (brunch every day, 231 S. 2nd) and Noble (brunch Mondays only, 704 S. 2nd St.).

The Bars

Milwaukeeans drink a lot and our lesbians are no exception. Although just about every Milwaukee LGBT bar will happily welcome all four letters of our alphabet, here are four bars that are lesbian-focused, in descending order of lesbi-osity:

Walker’s Pint, aka “The Pint”
818 S. 2nd St. (Walker’s Point)
This is the lesbian epicenter of Milwaukee’s bar universe. You don’t have to be a tank-topped dyke to get in, but it will help you feel most at home. After enjoying some pool, darts, or local music, commemorate your visit by buying a t-shirt featuring the Pint’s slogan, “Lock up your daughters.”

LickaDSplitz
4107 W. Lisbon Ave. (Washington Park)
A new place off the tourist’s beaten track, LickaDSplitz has an R&B and hip hop vibe, with DJs on Friday and Saturday nights.

The Nut Hut
1500 W. Scott St. (west of Walker’s Point)
A Milwaukee institution, this homey Near South Side bar kinda feels like having a lesbian affair in your grandparents’ 1970s rec room. In a good way.

Mona’s Out ‘N About
1407 S. 1st St. (Walker’s Point)
A good-sized dance floor, friendly bartenders and clientele, plus a kitchen that offers more than bar food, make Mona’s a must. All genders welcome. Check the schedule for line dancing nights, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Other bars for your queer-beer and dancing enjoyment

LaCage (Walker’s Point)
801 S. 2nd St.
With multiple bars and dance floors, LaCage is the grande dame of Milwaukee’s gay dance clubs. It’s boy-heavy, but welcoming, and it’s a must-go because your mother will be disappointed if you don’t bring home a photo of you dirty dancing in the big metal cage suspended from the ceiling.

Wherehouse/Hot Water (Walker’s Point warehouse district)
818 S. Water St.
Two hot clubs in one hard-to-find building. Check the online schedule for the LGBT-focused events, Salsa Saturdays, and lesbian line dancing. Sequins seem to be mandatory for salsa, but even if you left yours at home there is no better way to place to see the pretty ladies on a Saturday night.

Art Bar
722 E. Burleigh St. (Riverwest)
A fantastic gay-owned Riverwest bar, featuring local art and generous drink specials, plus live music and poetry on its tiny stage. The owner likes collaborative art projects, too, so you’ll probably find yourself making one of those crayon hand-turkeys out of a paper plate at some point. You have been warned.

Places to Avoid

If you’re a self-respecting lady-lover: the heterobnoxious Water Street bar scene, at the north end of downtown.

If you want to hold hands with your wife in the park: pretty much the whole conservative far south and far southwest sides of the city. I’d say north of Greenfield Avenue is usually pretty good. (Speaking of Greenfield Ave., the gay-owned Ca–averal at 2501 W. Greenfield Ave. has some of the best Mexican food in the city.)

Also, don’t wander around alone after closing time in the Walker’s Point gay bar district. Like any gay-centric area full of people who have had a few drinks, it has been the site of occasional gay-bashings. (My mom made me add that.)

The Nights Out

Even though we have a lot of queer bars in Milwaukee, we like to spread the love around, so here are a few other opportunities you shouldn’t miss:

Guerrilla Grrrl Bar
One Friday night each month
When the Guerrilla Gay Bar scene got a little too boy-centric, the grrrls at Sapphic Adventures Milwaukee formed this straight-bar-takeover alternative with a focus on women having fun. There is also an after-party at a genuine LGBT bar. (Milwaukee is a big-little town, so it wouldn’t hurt to let Sapphic Adventures know you want to be looped into whatever is happening with an email to sapphicadventuresmke@gmail.com.)

Ladies’ Night Out
First Saturday of each month, September through May.

For the 40+ set, a very happening get-together at Hot Water (818 S. Water St.) featuring drinks and dancing that still gets everybody back home to bed by 11 p.m. Recent LNO’s have drawn 125 women who “still love to party but don’t want to wait until 10 to get started.”

Keep It Dirty
Monthly kinky-queer dance parties at the Milwaukee Public House in Riverwest. Suggested dress is “devastatingly, haphazardly, and genderfuckingly glamorous.” The $10 suggested entrance fee goes to trans/queer charity.

Out to Brunch
First Sunday of every month
OK, not technically a “night out” but if after that night out you still haven’t had your fill of Milwaukee lesbians, you can get some more here. Generally at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (252 E. Highland Ave.) but location can vary.

Pridefest

Milwaukee is the City of Festivals and we mean it. When the 75-acre Henry Maier Festival Park is not occupied by Summerfest, the world’s biggest music festival, it’s home to festivals celebrating world cultures. In early June, the grounds host Pridefest, which runs Friday afternoon through Sunday night. With fireworks, a giant dance tent, and national acts like Joan Jett, Kathy Griffin, and Margaret Cho, Milwaukee’s Pride is kind of a big deal, attracting up to 30,000 attendees. There are celebrations of history, educational events, a mass commitment ceremony, and a kids’ area, too, so it’s fun for the whole family.

The Milwaukee Pride Parade takes place on the Sunday of Pridefest but is run by a separate organization. The route winds through the Walker’s Point bar district and many bars make space available on their sidewalks and patios for patrons to view the show.

Milwaukee LGBT Community Center

The Milwaukee LGBT Community Center has been providing social, educational, and health services to the LGBT community since 1997. Located downtown (252 E. Highland Ave.), the center offers an art gallery, a lending library, a computer lab, and meeting space. The center maintains a list of LGBT-friendly doctors, lawyers, therapists, and other professional services, and occasionally hosts some of those services on site. The city’s main safe-space program for queer youth, Project Q, is housed here, too, providing youth ages 12 through 24 with mentoring, friendship, and life skills education.

Bookstores

Outwords Books, Gifts, and Coffee
2710 N. Murray Ave. (UWM area)
Outwords is Milwaukee’s LGBT bookstore. This little gem has something for everyone and is the city’s main outlet for rainbow-bedazzled pride gear.

And while we’re talking about the written word, our local LGBT press includes the Wisconsin Gazette and Quest.

Sports

Milwaukee is a major city so we do have major league teams, but wouldn’t you rather get sweaty yourself? Yes? Well, you have lots of options. Here are a few of my favorites:

WanderWomyn
Check out the Southeastern Wisconsin scenery indoors and out with a hike, a dance club outing, or a camping trip with the girls.

Pedal Pusher Society
Billing itself as “Milwaukee’s premier women and trans bike gang,” the Pedal Pushers take rides around Milwaukee that often involve ice cream, tater tots, and, you guessed it, beer. Even if you don’t want to ride with them, you can still check out their legendary “Eye of the Tiger” promotional video.

SSBL
Nobody else will tell you that the “B” in our gay softball league’s acronym originally stood for “Beer,” but it did indeed. Welcome to Milwaukee. Watch a game or hone your skills at one of their clinics.

Milwaukee Gay Sports Network
You sporty girls can find info on everything from bowling tournaments that benefit AIDS research to queer volleyball and soccer at this federated site.

Other Fun

Milwaukee Gay Arts Center
703 S. 2nd St. (Walker’s Point)
The MGAC houses a combination art gallery and theater space, with art shows changing every six weeks and several theater productions each year.

The Tool Shed
2427 N. Murray Ave. (East Side)
Woman-owned Tool Shed is a sex toy boutique that offers a comprehensive range of products, plus sex-ed workshops you didn’t get in school. Queer- and trans-friendly and fiercely feminist.

Miltown Kings
The city’s premier drag troupe, featuring kings, queens, and everything in between, generally performs at the Miramar Theater on the East Side.

Brew City Bombshells
Milwaukee’s own burlesque troupe, putting the tassels back into performance art.

Brew City Bruisers
Our four-team roller derby league competes with teams from all over the country, with support from their pom squad, the Beer Leaders. (I know, beer again. Ha.)

Millions for Music
WMSE radio DJ Susan Million has the skinny on underground concerts and local appearances by up-and-coming female bands. She hosts a concert series at Live Artists Studio (228 S. 1st St., #302, in Walker’s Point).

Dating

I’m a happily married woman so my recent knowledge of the lesbian dating scene is completely second-hand. If I were looking for a date, I would scroll back up to the many fine events mentioned in this travel guide and get myself to as many of them as possible. I also would buy a tank top and a big belt buckle and go to The Pint. If those strategies don’t work out, here are a couple of suggestions from a single friend who is a devoted resident of the aforementioned queer-happy Riverwest:

“Dating scene? Um, there are lots of queer people getting involved in gardening, but this time it’s not the stereotypical gay men growing flowers, but women growing food more and more permaqueers (permaculture queers) in this city. And, of course, there are lots of lesbians with dogs and many of them walk their dogs down by the Milwaukee River. At some times of the day or year, it’s a scene down there.”

It really must be something in the water. But she’s right about the river paths. There is gorgeous walking down there in Milwaukee’s hidden “Central Park” for you and your bandana-wearing golden retriever (easiest entrances at Gordon, Kern, Riverside, and Caesar’s parks). You and some lucky woman might just get your leashes all tangled up just like in “101 Dalmatians.”

Family Matters

Our family policy situation in Wisconsin is a mix of good and not-so-good. Wisconsin banned discrimination against gays and lesbians way back in 1982 and now offers a state registry giving domestic partners rights such as inheritance and hospital visitation. On the other hand, we have a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Milwaukee City and County governments and the Milwaukee Public Schools offer domestic partner benefits to their employees and many local companies do, too. Second-partner adoption of children is not technically available, but an accommodating judge has been known to make that happen for LGBT families.

My wife and I have raised five kids in Milwaukee. With great parks, beaches, libraries, museums, and festivals, the kids will never be bored. The queer-friendly neighborhoods I’ve mentioned in this article are also kid-friendly. The public schools have a nondiscrimination policy and generally strive to treat same-sex parents well, including using non-gender-specific forms so you don’t have that awkward moment of crossing out the “Student’s Father” line on the enrollment form. Sometimes it’s the little things.

For youth in need of support, Milwaukee offers the LGBT-friendly Alliance School, a small, public high school; Project Q (see above); and Pathfinders, a homeless shelter serving LGBTQ youth.

Education

Milwaukee is a college town, with UW-Milwaukee’s campus anchoring the East Side and Marquette University and Alverno College to the west and southwest, respectively. UWM is a pretty gay-friendly place, with an LGBT Resource Center for students, a much-anticipated Annual Drag Show, and an exceptional LGBT Film Festival. Marquette is a Jesuit university and has the same struggles most Catholic organizations do. While their Gay-Straight Alliance has blossomed in recent years, Marquette was also in the national news recently when the president suddenly withdrew a job offer from a lesbian dean candidate after key donors learned who she was. At the other end of the Catholic education spectrum is Alverno, a mostly all-women’s college run by nuns. Alverno has a stellar reputation for its education and health programs, an active GSA, and even a nascent drag show.

Other Support Services

SAGE Milwaukee (older adults)
Diverse & Resilient (health & safety)
Lesbian Alliance of Metro Milwaukee (social & support)
Galano Club (addiction)
Wisconsin Rainbow Families (family)
BESTD Clinic (health)
Planned Parenthood (health)
FORGE (transgender)

Putting the “Gay” in Gemütlichkeit

Back in 2001, Girlfriends Magazine dubbed Milwaukee the “#1 City for Lesbians.” We weren’t sure why we were so special then, but we’re feeling really good about ourselves right about now.

I’ll admit, Milwaukee isn’t the most LGBT-friendly city in the country, but it isn’t the least either. We are politically, socially, and geographically in the middle of the nation. That said, Milwaukee is a fantastic place to be a lesbian. We have all of the big-city amenities with few of the hassles. We’re making progress in getting our relationships recognized by the state. We have all the social opportunities a queer girl could want, whether that particular girl wants to square dance or cage dance, become a roller derby queen or a drag king, camp out in the woods or camp it up at Pridefest. We’ve got a freshwater ocean and beaches and those dog paths by the river. We’ve got the Harley Museum and the Calatrava addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum. And we’ve got all this spectacular beer and cheese that we should probably share. You should come by so we can show you how good and gay this gemütlichkeit thing can truly be.

Queer Girl City Guide: Tulsa, OK

Have you ever been to Tulsa? Let me guess. You drove through it that one time when you packed everything you own into your car, put “Wide Open Spaces” on repeat and moved across the country? Well, I-44 is a poor representative for Tulsa. I strongly suggest that the next time you find yourself in the middle of the country, you take a moment to explore our fine city!

When I moved to Tulsa 5 years ago, I literally fell in love with it. I confess our relationship is on the rocks right now but there’s no denying that Tulsa is full of friendly people who are passionate about their city. There’s a great entrepreneurial energy here; the cost of living is super reasonable (my mortgage is close to what I paid to live in a camper in someone’s backyard in Santa Monica. That was silly.) and we’ve been fairly insulated from the economic downturn mayhem. Though Tulsa is relatively conservative, I’ve never felt like I couldn’t be out in public.

I will admit that in fits of frustration, I have been known to refer to Tulsa as a gay-girl desert. That’s a bit unfair, though. There are queers to be found among the amber waves of grain of Oklahoma and I’m here to guide you to them! To start out, if you happen to be in Tulsa at 11:30 on Sunday morning you are just in time for lesbian brunch, location TBD, contact me for more details. I deployed the lesbian brunch troops for this special guide-making mission. You can check out our review of your best shots for girlie good times in Tulsa below.

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Gotta Eat

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SMOKE. (1542 E. 15th St.)
My top pick for Sunday brunch. Your bartender, Abby, will pour you a heavy man-mosa, or you can fix your own drink at the bloody mary bar (don’t forget the pickled okra, you’re in Oklahoma!). Also, since the chef recognizes that biscuits and gravy are a brunch priority, he just went ahead and made them an entree item.

Wild Fork (1820 Utica Square)
An upscale-ish spot in Utica Square, lesbian owned and operated and staffed by some cute gays, Wild Fork is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day but the funnest day.

Elote (514 South Boston Avenue)
If you like puffy tacos, and I think you do, you will find them at Elote and they will be $2 on Wednesday nights. Also, luchador wrestling happens in the bar.

Mod’s Coffe and Crepes (507 South Boston Avenue)
And Gelato! It’s across from Elote, also $2 on Wednesday nights. Mod’s is the ideal location to take your sweetie when you’re ready to make babies. And by ‘make babies’ I mean get on the internets and order sperm.

Queenies Cafe and Bakery (1834 Utica Square)
Tiny and adorable, Queenie’s serves breakfast, lunch and dinner.

White Lion Pub (6927 S. Canton Avenue)
Highly recommended by lesbian brunchers, I’m told it’s gay-owned.

Tucci’s Cafe Italia (1344 E. 15th Street)
Tucci’s is delicious, romancy inside, has great patio outside, and is very gay friendly.

Cosmo Cafe (3334 S. Peoria Avenue)
This sandwich and coffee bar always has good drink specials, is open late, and is the workplace of many cute and maybe drunk waitresses.

Old School Bagel Cafe (3723 S. Peoria Avenue)
It’s important to know where the good bagels are. They are here. And I think they’re made by gays.

Leon’s (3301 S. Peoria Avenue)
For all your sport-viewing needs, Leon’s is here and it’s gay friendly.

Blue Moon Cafe (3512 S. Peoria Avenue)
This was a lesbian brunch favorite before lesbian brunch became too popular, but now we can’t all fit in this place. Plus the order-at-the-counter operation isn’t conducive to hanging out and drinking for hours on end, which is the mission of lesbian brunch.

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Coffee Fix

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If you are a serious coffee snob, Double Shot (1730 S. Boston Avenue) is your place. Their priority is coffee over customer service; the owner is known locally as the coffee nazi. Shades of Brown (3302 S. Peoria Avenue) and The Coffee House on Cherry Street (1502 E. 15th Street) are both excellent shops for overhearing 19 year olds’ musings on religion and politics while you pick up a free internet connection. Cafe Cubana (1328 E. 15th Street) is a little more business-like; they sell cigars and the very best smoothies. For a minimalist coffee bar, Joebots is located inside Dwelling Spaces (119 S. Detroit Avenue), an Okie-centric retail operation run by Tulsa’s head cheerleader, Mary Beth. Our local seed-to-cup operation, Topeca Coffee, is served in several cafés as well as their own shops in the Ramada and the Mayo building.

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Need a Drink

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We have two full-time lesbian bars to choose from. Every few months, lesbian bruncher, Lindsey, feels compelled to log some gay bar time and drags us to one — or both — of these places. This generally results in an empty feeling in the pit of our souls. But, you know. You should check them out.

Yellow Brick Road (2630 E. 15th Street), YBR for short, is a smoky dive bar with a jukebox, a pool table and a cage. Nothing sexy ever happens in that cage. Tuesday and Thursdays are good nights for drink specials and sometimes there’s even live music.

TNT’s (2114 S. Memorial Drive) is a bigger club with a dance floor and some pool tables but sometimes there’s a cover charge. This place is a little harder to find since it’s tucked in the back of a shopping center. Drag shows are on Wednesdays (king and queen) while Thursdays are karaoke and “Butch Night Out.” I cannot personally describe to you what this “Butch Night Out” looks like. Instead, I refer you to their website where a clever poem can explain what it is all about. Yes, indeed.

Down the road from TNT’s, you’ll find Club Maverick (822 S. Sheridan Road). Not an exclusively girl bar but plenty of ladies hang out here, especially on Saturdays. The dance floor is serious; the floor is actually sanded. As in, there is sand on the floor. For scooting your boots! Just to save you come trouble, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: don’t take your drink on the dance floor because you might get reprimanded. I had actually not spent any time here until my brunch-date insisted that our great gay tour of Tulsa culminate at this spot. It was a good choice.

Let’s head back downtown! New Age Renegade (1649 South Main Street) is a popular spot for karaoke and $1 jello shots on Sundays. They have a different event every night of the week so check the calendar because you head out. If you’re underage, Club Majestic (124 North Boston Avenue) is here for you on Thursdays and Sundays. Always a cover, but it’s Tulsa’s largest gay club and it’s usually packed. A few blocks away, Club 209 (209 North Boulder Avenue) is a loungier cocktail and arts bar. Other gay, mostly boy bars include Tulsa Eagle (1338 E. 3rd Street) and End Up (5336 E. Admiral Place).

Sometimes what you’re looking for isn’t going to be at the gay bar. For instance, if what you want are some hipsters and indie-rock bands in a bicycle-themed paradise then SoundPony (409 North Main Street) is your place. If you’re lucky, Lindsey (mentioned above) will be your bartender. She wants you to have the gayest time ever and she’ll probably try to set you up with someone.

Other gay-ish bars to consider are: Empire Bar (1516 South Peoria Avenue), and The Warehouse (3346 South Peoria Avenue). Gay-friendly recommendations include Mercury Lounge (1747 South Boston Avenue), Fassler Hall (304 South Elgin Avenue), The Hunt Club (224 North Main) and The Colony (2809 South Harvard Avenue) for live music. Try Cellar Dweller (417 West 7th St), Edward Delk’s (427 South Boston Avenue) and Vintage 1740 (1740 South Boston Avenue) for wine and cocktails.

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Sports and Outdoors

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My absolute favorite thing that happens in Tulsa, gay or otherwise, is Tulsa Tough. Every June, for three full days, the city is flooded with athletic, spandex clad ladies (and men) for a joyous weekend of rides, beer, racing and beer. Really, it is a serious pro-cycling event, but if you’re not a pro-cyclist it’s just a huge bike party! Let me tell you something though. The biker girls are hot, and they all look gay when they’re geared up and pumping past your beer truck. The lady spandex is not easy to get into; you can’t count on running into them at the bar after their race. They’re athletes which means they’re carbo-loading and going to bed at 6pm or something. My personal strategy this year is to volunteer behind the scenes and host a team at my house. Genius, right? If you don’t live here, though, I don’t know what to tell you.

Tulsa’s WNBA team, the Tulsa Shock, will kick off their third season in May. They have yet to fully embrace their gay following, which is unfortunate sine we are pretty much the extent of their following. Maybe this is the case throughout WNBA, though, I have no other point of reference. Nevertheless, the games are a blast and you will be surrounded by lesbians!

Green Country Roller Girls are a flat track derby team that I haven’t bothered to go see in years because they were all the way out in a suburban roller rink that was lame. BUT! The bouts this season are at Expo Square Pavilion so we should all go support them in their booty-short-badassery.

Other sports teams with high queer encounter potential include: Tulsa Threat, women’s tackle football league, Tulsa Women’s Rugby, Tulsa Lambda Bowling League and a Tulsa Metro Softball League. If you’re really into softball, it might be worth a drive down to Oklahoma City to see the National Softball Hall of Fame.

Perhaps you feel the need to work out yourself while visiting our fair city. The lesbian brunchers have some recommendations. I am partial to The Yoga Room. You’ll want Nicole’s classes, trust me. Beka recommends the YWCA and assures us that the Tabata classes will be worth your time. DeAnna and Laura are hardcore and enjoy 918 Crossfit in their spare time.

Outside the gym, there are hundreds of miles of multi-use trails throughout Tulsa. Bikeshare racks are available along the river. Turkey Mountain, while not actually a mountain (it’s just the only thing resembling elevation in this plain state) has some lovely hiking trails and rock climbing…rocks. Heading over to Talequah to float the Illinois is always a good idea in the summer. I’ve heard Oklahoma has more manmade shoreline than any other state. Don’t quote me. But we do have a lot of lakes for your swimming, fishing and camping pleasure. Don’t eat mushrooms or fall asleep without damping out the campfire. This is my advice to you.

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Other Fun and Potentially Gayish Things to Do

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Circle Cinema (12 South Lewis Avenue) is Tulsa’s only independent movie theater. They do not serve beer, in case you were wondering. Good coffee, though.

The Cherry Street Farmers Market is open on Saturdays from 7-11am. Kyla suggests you take your dog and just wait for the bitches to flock to you. I think by “bitches” she means queer girls. There are all plenty of coffee and brunch amenities along Cherry Street to meet all your Saturday morning needs and the needs of your new lady-friend that your dog helped your acquire.

The Living Kitchen, lesbian owned and operated, hosts a variety of Farm Table Dinners April – September. The schedule is on the website.

The Tulsa Lesbian Network hosts a supper club, poker club, butch/femme night and more. Check the website for details.

The Tulsa Art Deco Museum recently opened in homage to the wide array of art deco architecture found downtown.

Philbrook Museum of Art (2727 South Rockford Road) features traveling exhibitions as well as a private collection of art, strollable grounds and interesting community events.

Tulsa Performing Arts Center is home to all manner of music, theater and dance.

First Fridays Art Crawls take place in the downtown Brady District. Tulsa doesn’t really have a recognizable gayborhood, but Brady is pretty close.

Cain’s Ballroom, a historic western swing dance hall. Now a performance venue, Cain’s is a great place to catch a Tegan and Sara show. Or GWAR, or whatever you’re into.

Dust Bowl Lanes and Lounge is a retro-style 8-lane bowling alley downtown with a full bar and patio.

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College Life

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Tulsa University is the major institute of higher learning in the city, although OSU and OU both have campuses here. Tulsa Community College is the largest community college in the state. Oral Roberts University does not like you but it might be interesting to check out the giant praying hands and stroll through campus, which is not unlike a scene from The Jetsons.

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Love and Marriage

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Not my area of expertise. Also, not legal. For this, I turned to newly-ish-weds, Kim and Beka. Their sage advice for queers looking to settle down and reproduce in Tulsa seems to be not to do it. Or at least not to go to Tulsa Fertility Clinic. What you might want to do is have a vacation wedding in Montreal and then, when the time is right, sit down over a cup of thin mint gelato and select which sperms you’d like to have shipped to you.

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Pride

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Pride Festivities in Tulsa generally span the course of an entire week, including a parade and festival on the first or second weekend of June. Pride is hit or miss, due to the fact that it is literally a moving target. Sometimes it’s sprawled across Centennial Park, sometimes it’s a street festival outside The Equality Center. For reasons I cannot entirely pinpoint, the street festival Prides take on a trashier state-fair vibe. The Prides in the park feel more like a hippie music festival. This year, you can choose your own adventure! Street Festival and Parade are on June 2nd, Pride in the Park is June 3rd.

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Activism

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Oklahomans for Equality owns and operates the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center in downtown Tulsa. The Center opened in 2007 and hosts a wide range of events, social services and resources. It’s a really nice facility. The Equality Network is a highly active statewide advocacy organization. Tulsa’s PFLAG Chapter meets the 2nd Monday of the month at Congregational Church. Tulsa’s Young Professionals Diversity Crew promotes the value of diversity for organizations, businesses and the community. Come be gay in Tulsa!

Queer Girl City Guide: Manhattan is The New Manhattan

Feature Image by Maro Hagopian

A couple of months ago, I attended an art symposium and one of the speakers, a lesbian writer, was a tried and true Brooklynite who had spent a great deal of time in Manhattan’s Bowery neighborhood during the 1980s. She reminisced about how the iconic Bowery was once a seedy bohemian area known for being an epicenter of punk music and underground art before gentrification replaced homeless heroin addicts and rat infested lofts with high rise condominiums and trendy cafes. I braced myself for the usual “Manhattan’s queer and art scenes are so over” speech. But instead, she acknowledged that Manhattan is a borough constantly in flux, always changing while remaining the same in many important ways.

I relocated to Manhattan in 1999 and I live in a historically wealthy neighborhood just a few short blocks away from Central Park, Madonna, and Anthony Bourdain. Interestingly, my rent is cheaper (and I mean way cheaper) than some “grimier” neighborhoods in Brooklyn, which exemplifies that gentrification is alive and well in places where hipsters are trying to keep the façade of “edginess.” (Bklyn Boihood has a good post on said gentrification.)

Yes, other neighborhoods and boroughs may be the “new black.” But Manhattan is the new Manhattan…and in certain respects, the old Manhattan. What I like most about Manhattan is that it is not just for a niche group of people; it’s for everyone! Here you’ll find tattooed dapper genderqueers; hip hop honeys; bougie L-word types; old school dykes rocking fanny packs and leather vests; power gallerinas; and doms and studs! All are welcome. If someone tries to tell you that there is nothing left in Manhattan for queers, you need not look further than this guide to prove them wrong.

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Staple Bars

Cubbyhole: Too-cool-for-school kids roll their eyes at this lesbian bar that has become a queer institution in Manhattan’s West Village. But if you check your pretentious hat at the door, you’ll see that Cubbyhole is the “Queer Cheers,” with a bring your own food policy, gay anthem blasting jukebox, and ceiling covered in insane amounts of kitsch (e.g., plastic tropical fish).
(281 West 12th Street, New York, NY)

Henrietta Hudson: Going 20 years strong, this keep-it-simple lesbian club has three small rooms: one with a dance floor, one with a pool table, and one with make-out couches. It attracts no-pretense, girl next door types. Henrietta Hudson hosts a different party every night (e.g., Sunday’s Roc da Mic Karaoke and Wednesday’s Tócame Noche Latina) that caters to their diverse clientele. This is often the go-to club for outta towners, so you can find lots of fresh meat here!
(438 Hudson Street, New York, NY)

Escualita: While Escualita’s website appears to cater primarily to men, this LGBTQ club does have its own lesbian scene with all of the drama and incestuousness found in lesbian-specific bars. However, there is a true sense of LGBTQ community here; it is not unusual to find a butch rocking a sideways cap playfully putting dollar bills into a drag queen’s bra. DJs spin sets of hip-hop, reggaeton, and Latin beats.
(301 West 39th Street, New York, NY)

Also: The divey hipster gay bar Nowhere (East 14th street between 1st & 2nd Ave), with its pool tables and reasonably-priced drinks, attracts a mixed crowd all week as well as hosting Ladies Nights.

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Parties

Boxers Off! is a bi-monthly butch burlesque party featuring some of NYC’s hottest gender-bending talents, such as L-Boogie, Goldie Peacock, Susan Herr, and Drae Campbell.
(Various locations)

Choice C*nts: I would describe Choice as the intersection of rock-n-roll glam, hip-hop chic, and urban hipster (Bowie+Runaways+N.E.R.D. = CC) with a lot of genderfu*king. Promoter Ellie Conant (a.k.a. the Gaysha) hosts Choice at Drom on the last Friday of every month. Each party has a different theme and celebrity photographer Maro Hagopian is there to capture all of the debauchery inspired by resident DJ Leslie Van Stelten’s panty dropping mixes.
(85 Avenue A, New York, NY)

Crème de la Femme: Every Wednesday night at Union Square Ballroom, promoter Maggie C. hosts Creme de la Femme (CDLF), one of Manhattan’s most popular femme (and femme chaser) nights. The party has an upscale, “well heeled” feel.
(27 Union Square West, New York, NY)

girlNATIONnyc: B&T (short for “bridge and tunnel,” a term used by Manhattanites to describe visitors who come into the city via those routes) flock to this Saturday night party for shots out of plastic test tubes and sweaty dancing. It sort of has a New Jersey/Long Island feel. You won’t need to own a leotard from American Apparel or a pair of bejeweled Christian Louboutins to fit in here.
(Various locations)

Girlz Parties: Without giving you all the gory details about my wild family tree, I will let you know this. My mom is also a lesbian and more women fawn over her than men fawn over Stifler’s mom! But my mom is not interested in women with Shane’s style; she would prefer someone like Papi! So when my mom visits Manhattan, she hits up Denise Madison’s Girlz Parties, weekly events with a smoothed out hip-hop and R&B feel.
(Various locations)

Hot Rabbit: In the Here/Queer guide to Brooklyn , author Sam asked, “Have you ever gone to a packed party with gorgeous people and thought, ‘Wouldn’t this be great if there were better music??'” Hot Rabbit has a cure for this by featuring a new DJ every week at this Friday party. The DJ line-up has included JD Samson, Whitney Day, and Shomi Noise. Did I mention the party is free?
(322 E 14th Street, New York, NY)

Stilettos: When the weather heats up, promoter Maggie C. brings the action outside with her seasonal Sunday party, Stilettos, located in the Maritime Hotel Cabanas, a breezy rooftop lounge high above the hustle and bustle of Manhattan’s streets. The urban oasis is reminiscent of an L.A. nightclub and the patrons look as if they’ve just walked off the L-Word set.
(363 West 16th Street, New York, NY)

Lesbo-a-Go-Go: Dykes descend on the Stonewall Inn, site of the historic 1969 Stonewall riots, every Friday night for come-as-you-are dancing. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a business suit or flip-flops. You don’t have to dress the part. Just dance. (It’ll be ok.)
(53 Christopher Street, New York, NY)

Truckstop: The L.A. based stripper-esque Truckstop Convoy brings their booty shaking go-go to Manhattan once a month. Onlookers dare one another to approach the Truckstop crew for a dirty dance. (“You go give her a dollar.” “No, YOU go give her a dollar.”)
(54 West 21st Street, New York, NY)

Probably the best resource for lesbian bars and ladies nights is the NYC-based GO Magazine, which hosts annual nightlife awards and always has the most up-to-date event listings on its website.

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Food & Caffeine Fix

Manhattan is a culinary city. With most places being LGBTQ-friendly, it’s hard for me to make specific recommendations short of getting a Zagat guide to help you narrow down your options. That said, I thought I’d throw in some restaurants with a lesbian/bi following for good measure.

There are only two Cowgirl restaurants in the country: one in Santa Fe and one in Manhattan (519 Hudson Street, New York, NY). It has such a queer following that it also got a shout out in the Queer-Girl Guide to Santa Fe . Cafe Forànt (449 W 51st St (between 9th & 10th Aves) is another queer favorite owned by two super-cute lesbians who met in Provincetown and now want to serve you brunch every single day. Lesbian Top Chef Anita Lo‘s Annisa Restaurant (13 Barrow Street at 4th street) gets rave reviews for its unique style of infusing French cuisine with Asian ingredients.

If you want to eat a sloppy taco with Rachel Maddow, head over to La Rosita Grocery & Taqueria (526 W 47th Street,New York, NY) in Hell’s Kitchen. The Maddow staff members are fans of their tacos and sopes, Maddow herself saying, “If those chicken sopes ran for Congress, I would quit my job on TV to go door-to-door campaigning for them.”

For ice cream so delicious that even Anthony Bourdain approves, head over to the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop (125 East 7th Street, New York, NY) or Big Gay Ice Cream Truck (various locations), both of which have a homo following (obvi).

In Chelsea, Cafeteria (119 7th Ave at West 17th St) is well-known for it’s attractive gay-boy waiters, but the queer atmosphere, fancy comfort food menu, awesome brunch and 24/7 hours make it a lesbian favorite too.

The Yaffa Cafe (97 St Marks Pl between 1st Ave & Avenue A) is an eclectic Village spot with a cute back garden, funky lighting, and a diverse menu vegetarians and their friends will love. Speaking of vegetarians (and vegans!), Manhattan is packed with opportunities to consume soy in a variety of permutations — we recommend Josie’s ( 565 Third Ave at 37th St and 300 Amsterdam Ave at 74th St), Blossom (187 Ninth Ave at 21st street), vegan spot The Candle Cafe (1307 3rd Avenue at 74th street) and the famous Angelica Kitchen (300 E 12th St at 1st Avenue).

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Art

With over 60 museums and 600 art galleries, Manhattan is considered one of the art capitals of the world. (Some say it is THE art capital of the world.) The Guggenheim, MoMA, and Metropolitan Museum of Art are usually on the top of most visitors’ lists, as they should be. But queermos may also enjoy the Museum of Sex (233 5th Avenue, New York, NY) and the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art (26 Wooster Street, New York, NY). If you’re low on cash, consider this. Many opening receptions at galleries offer free booze. Got a few extra bones in your pocket? Then schedule an LGBT art tour.

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Erotica/Bookstores

Bluestockings (172 Allen Street, New York, NY) is a bookstore, fair trade café, and activist center that hosts a feminist book club, workshops, readings, performances, discussions, and films every night. There is usually a suggested $5 donation to attend events, but no one is ever turned away for lack of cash.

The Housing Works Bookstore and Café (126 Crosby Street, New York, NY) has a large selection of books and hosts events, with 100% of their proceeds going to support their mission of providing lifesaving services to people living with HIV/AIDS.

Manhattan abounds with adult toy shops, especially along Christopher Street, which stretches from 9th Street to 6th Avenue and has become a symbol of gay pride. However, Babeland and Pleasure Chest are two shops that have a devoted LGBTQ following. Babeland is a women-friendly adult toy shop with several locations, including two in Manhattan (SoHo location at 43 Mercer Street and Lower East Side location at 94 Rivington Street). In addition to selling toys and erotica, they offer workshops that cost $0-40. Events range anywhere from “How to Give Great Oral Sex” to happy hours with free bubbly. Opened in 1971 in Manhattan’s West Village gayborhood, the Pleasure Chest (156 7th Avenue South, New York, NY) remains one of the most popular LGBTQ-friendly boutique style erotic stores.

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Colleges

While you were busy sipping all that Manhattan haterade, the rest of us were getting our learn on at Manhattan’s world renowned colleges and universities: Barnard, Columbia, NYU, Hunter College, Juilliard, Pace, Fordham, School of Visual Arts, Baruch College, FIT, and Parsons School of Design, to name a few. Listing all of the LGBTQ and feminist resources for these universities would require a separate post. I had the honor of attending graduate school at NYU and working at Columbia for several years and can say from personal experience that both universities are LGBTQ–friendly. (Just take a look at Columbia’s “It Gets Better” video.)

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Athletics

New York has plenty of professional sports teams to root for, including the Jets, Giants, Yankees, Mets, Rangers, Knicks, and WNBA Liberty. The last three teams play right in Manhattan at world famous Madison Square Garden. But if you’re looking to support or perhaps join smaller, non-professional sports teams in Manhattan, there are lots of queer-friendly options, such as Gotham Girls Roller Derby, Cheer New York, and the Big Apple Bowling, Dodgeball, and Kickball leagues.

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Summer in the City

Manhattan is a great place to be in the summer, especially if you’re low on cash. The HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival shows free movies in Bryant Park; Hudson River Park offers free summer events and educational programs, including movies on the pier, concerts, and kayaking on the Hudson River; the New York Philharmonic and the New York Metropolitan Opera both put on free performances in Central Park; and
Governors Island in New York Harbor hosts art exhibits, food festivals, and concerts.

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The Day Trip to End All Day Trips

You can certainly visit any of NYC’s other boroughs (Lez go to Coney Island!) or take a ride out to some of Long Island’s small towns (Hamptons, anyone?). But I’m going to share some insider information re the day trip.

Fire Island, just 1.5 hours from Manhattan, is a 31 mile long island that is in some places only accessible by boat or seaplane and where motor-vehicles are prohibited. Two of the hamlets on the Island, the Pines and Cherry Grove, are gay summer resorts. They are sheer gay paradise. People sunbathe on the beach all day and party all night. There are drag performances, lesbian parties, gay nightclubs, restaurants, gay bingo, you name it. However, since there are no cars allowed on the hamlets, the area has not been over developed. You get around by foot via treelined wooden walkways and piers, running into deer (yes, deer) along the way. It’s about a 20 minute walk between the two hamlets.

To get to Fire Island from Manhattan, take the Long Island Railroad from Penn Station to Sayville and then take a ferry to the Pines or Cherry Grove. If you have the time and money, rent a room or get a share because you’ll never want to leave!

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Pride

The NYC Pride Parade, attended by approximately 1-1.5 million people annually, is held in Manhattan on the last Sunday of June. Many of the promoters in the above party section throw pre (the night before the parade) and post-Pride Parade parties. However, the official women’s dance party, Rapture on the River, takes place on the Saturday before the NYC Pride Parade, following the NYC Dyke March and Harlem’s amazing Pride block party.

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Gayborhoods

Manhattan is one big gayborhood, but the most well-known gayborhoods are Chelsea, Hell’s Kitchen, and Greenwich Village. I lived in Chelsea for 10 years, so that’s my favorite of the three. Chelsea is home to over 370 art galleries, High Line Park, Chelsea Piers, and Chelsea Market, an indoor market with over 33 food vendors. Greenwich Village has historical significance, as the Stonewall Riots marking the start of the gay rights movement took place in this neighborhood. Hell’s Kitchen is Manhattan’s Off-Broadway theater district.

There’s also a growing queer lady community uptown in West Harlem and East Harlem. The Morningside Heights area hosts the eager students of Columbia, Barnard and the Manhattan School of Music and also is home to gay bar Suite and its legendary karaoke nights. Harlem has a long glorious gay & lesbian history and remains moderately affordable, too.

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Git Yo Hair Did

You will not find a shortage of salons in Manhattan, but when I think of queer cuts, two immediately come to mind: Crops for Girls (437 East 9th Street, New York, NY), a salon specializing in short haircuts for women, and Fringe Salon (248 Broome Street, New York, NY). Stylist Jenn at Fringe Salon says, “I have a lot of short haired clients who are queer and come to me looking for something that is not feminine. I try and give them a haircut that makes them comfortable with themselves – makes them happy. A lot of my queer clients go to that extreme and want to shave, texture, keep a tail, [or] wear a mullet. And they wear it better than my male clients. It’s their individuality that makes the hair, not their sexuality.”

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Resources/Support

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center (208 West 13th Street, New York, NY), known as “the Center” for short, is the second largest LGBTQ center in the world, offering a variety of youth, family, health, advocacy, and arts initiatives and home to New York’s largest lending library of LGBT material. Over 6,000 people visit the Center every week.

Located in Chelsea’s gayborhood, Callen Lorde Community Health Center (356 West 18th Street, New York, NY) provides non-judgmental, culturally competent health services to the LGBTQ community.

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Gay Rights

New York’s Sexual Orientation Non-Discrimination Act (SONDA), which added sexual orientation to the New York State Human Rights Law that prohibits discrimination based on race, sex, creed, color, national origin, disability, age and marital status, took effect in 2003. In 2011, New York became the sixth state to legalize gay marriage. Same sex couples can petition to adopt in New York.

What are your favorite places to be a queer lady in Manhattan?

Queer Girl City Guide: Boston, MA

by Lizz and Rachel

Did you know Lizz and Rachel are both from Boston!? We are! Well kind of. You should know when anyone says they live in Boston, they almost always mean they live in the Greater Boston Metro Area which includes Boston and all the towns around Boston that everyone thinks are just neighborhoods. Technically speaking, Rachel and Lizz went to school in Waltham and then Rachel moved to a city called Cambridge and Lizz moved to a Boston neighborhood called Allston. Because we wrote this kind of together, it’s written in the first person hive voice where “I” sometimes refers to Rachel and sometimes to Lizz and sometimes to both of us.

Getting Around Boston

Boston isn’t exactly known for its ease of transit. While it’s not deadlocked New York City, driving can be slow and tedious. Also there’s no parking. On the other hand, you can ride the MBTA system of subways and buses. The subway, or the T, is awesome and also kind of sucks. Also it stops running around 1 am. That’s okay though because you can just take a cab. Except that Boston has the most expensive cabs ever.

So here’s the thing: you’re going to want a bike. You can bike almost anywhere in Boston in about 20 minutes. Literally end to end in under an hour. Lizz used to bike to work in Cambridge every day until one day she almost got hit by one of those previously mentioned above ground Ts. Well, good luck!

Gayborhoods

The South End is Boston’s most well known gay neighborhood. The South End is made up largely of beautiful red brick bowfront apartment buildings built in the mid-19th century. At some point it became wicked gentrified by gays (actually, mostly gay men) in the 1980s, and is now some of the most expensive property in Boston. Although the area maintained its gay flavor, it tends to be inhabited by wealthy middle aged gays and their artist significant others. As that is the case, the South End is also home to some of the best restaurants and small art studios in the whole city.

Jamaica Plain, or JP as the cool kids call it, is basically Boston’s lesbian stronghold. Everyone who lives in JP loves it but, the major downside is that it’s far away from everything else in the city. Everyone sits out on the porch all the time hanging out with each other and strangers just walk by and join in. All the queer women who live in JP seem to know each other and, because they live so far away from the rest of the city, are exclusively friends with other queer people from JP.

Cambridge & Somerville is where it’s at for hip, androgynous queers who like wearing ambitious scarves, as well as young marrieds and every twentysomething who picks up their CSA share on their fixed-gear bike. Full of coffeeshops, bookstores, and vegan food, they are a little expensive to live in (especially Cambridge), but nice places to spend an afternoon. Highlights include Harvard Square (touristy as it is), Davis Square, and also some out-of-the-way delights like Union Square.

Gay Bars

While Boston lacks a proper lesbian bar, there is basically a girls night somewhere every Friday and Saturday of the month. The biggest is Second Saturday at Machine. Second Saturday is run by Dyke Night (a Boston group who runs several lesbian nights in the city) and is also the largest lesbian dance party in New England. In light of the largest women’s party in New England thing, it’s critical to arrive at Machine no later than 10pm or you will not party, you will just stand in line. Machine is normally a gay club with a pseudo-leather bar upstairs (Ramrod) but I’ve always found it to be completely lesbian friendly even during non-Dyke Night times.

Dyke Night also runs Fourth Fridays at the Milky Way, Venus Rising at the House of Blues and a slew of holiday specific parties. The Milky Way is a restaurant in JP that gets packed full of JP regulars social drinking in the front and dancing in the back. It’s a pretty rocking party, and it’s won Best of Boston a couple of years in a row now. Venus Rising is a private party in the extremely lush Foundation Room at the House of Blues held the first Friday of every month. I happen to really like the Foundation Room because it sort of looks like someone else’s rich grandmother’s living room.

If you’re looking to party on Thursdays, the only place to be is in JP at The Midway for the mostly lesbian and gender-queer Queeraoke. That’s right, it’s queer karaoke. Queeraoke usually draws a cool crowd, if not a lot of the same JP folks from the Milky Way. I’m not even going to pretend I don’t love a good round of karaoke. On Tuesdays you can head over to Zuzu for their Queer Ladies Night, which is a little quieter than some other parties but also notable for being much more T-accessible than virtually every other party ever.

In addition to the night-specific girl parties, there’s also a couple of traveling queer nights. Boston Guerrilla Queer Bar is a traveling gay bar that “overtakes” normally straight bars for one night each month. GQB announces the bar of choice the Thursday night before the party and everyone shows up the next Friday. Although GQB used to be an actual sneak attack on a bar, the last few times I went GQB seemed to have rented out the space. GQB used to be every first Friday (thus competing with the increasingly popular Venus Rising) but seems to maybe be moving to the second Friday of the month.

The other traveling queer night is Girl Spot which is basically the same as GQB except it’s a girl party that changes locations on the last Saturday of each month. One of the cool things about Girl Spot is they often hold it in a chill spot where you can actually have a drink and talk to someone.

Club Cafe is a restaurant and gay bar that is largely frequented by the 25 and older gay men’s crowd. Still, a lot of the queer women I know hang out there particularly on the weekdays. Tuesday Trivia is supposed to be particularly fun. Rush, the dance party on Saturdays, is reportedly one of the best dance nights around.  Every Sunday night Underbar holds a gay party called Hot Mess which completely lives up to its name. Underbar is one of the only bars that stays open until 2am on Sundays so it’s definitely worth a visit. Also Fritz is a super friendly gay sports bar with a shockingly good brunch menu.

If you’re looking for drag, Jacques Cabaret features drag every night of the week. Also Club Cafe holds Drag Bingo every Monday. Finally Machine holds a Drag Dance Party Mondays, and Drag Lounge on Wednesdays.

Coffee and Eats

Diesel Cafe (Davis Square, Somerville) This is a great place to go if you want your heart broken by a really sexy genderqueer barista and also a pretty good latte. Diesel is not only staffed by all queers, it’s also a know queer/poly hang out. Its sister site, Bloc 11, is located about a half hour away on foot in Union Square. Both of them feature delicious sandwiches ranging from the meaty to the tofu-y, and a rotation of soups. Diesel has recently stepped up its brunch game as well — try the breakfast burrito. Also, Boston-area Autostraddle meetups have taken place here, so.

Barrington Coffee (346 Congress Street, Boston) As far as quality of coffee goes, Barrington Coffee Roasters is maybe probably the best in Boston [according to Lizz who has a refined and sensitive coffee palate][but not according to Rachel, who knows this is some straight up bullshit]. Their cafe in the Fort Point neighborhood serves up their finely brewed coffee and espresso drinks made by their incredibly well trained staff.

Simon’s Cafe (Porter Square, Cambridge) As far as quality of coffee goes, Simon’s is maybe probably the best in Boston [according to Rachel who lacks a proper background in coffee knowledge and is probably just choosing a place with good vegan snacks] [That’s stupid, it doesn’t even have vegan snacks really, just really good coffee]. It’s small, and therefore you might have to fight for a seat if you want to camp out for a while, but the coffee is beyond compare.

Veggie Planet (Harvard Square, Cambridge) A haven for hipster queers who want cheap all-day vegetarian food and breakfast pizzas, Veggie Planet has a fun menu and cute waitstaff. It’s also connected to Club Pasim, which is a neat place to catch some live music if that’s your jam. If you come here for brunch, be ready to wait in line.

Life Alive (Central Square, Cambridge) This is an actual conversation that took place between Lizz and Rachel:

Lizz: sidenote, there’s an amazing new vegan/veggie place in central square you’re going to love
im obsessed
Rachel: what is it
Lizz: its NEW
Rachel: what what what
what is it
Lizz: it went into that old video rental place
Rachel: oh i remember that
Lizz: they do all these dishes that can be served on rice or on a plate or in a salad
and they have sauces and stuff can be gluten free
and they also do smoothies
Rachel: what is their name
Lizz: Life Alive
and everything is really yummy
Rachel: that sounds very hippie-ish
but delicious
i wanna try it

Sofra (One Belmont St, Cambridge) Fun fact — Rachel used to work here! That’s how she can vouch that it’s delicious and also that everyone who works there is great. Order the spinach falafel and the orange blossom lemonade, and you will regret nothing. Don’t forget to tip.

Oleana (134 Hampshire St, Cambridge) The award-winning restaurant with the same ownership as Sofra, Oleana is delicious Middle Eastern-inspired cuisine that’s great for celebratory dinners, impressing people, and/or Fancy Dates.

India Quality (484 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston) There’s no dearth of Indian food in Boston, and choosing the “best” is a dodgy proposition, but it may well be India Quality. For cheaper, quicker Indian, and/or if you’re interested in South as opposed to North Indian food, try Dosa Factory in Central Square.

Shanghai Gate (204 Harvard Avenue, Boston) One time Lizz went to Xi’an and ate really amazing dumplings filled with soup (xiao long bao). Then Lizz went back to Boston where every Chinese restaurant calls their dumplings “Peking Ravioli” which is really sad but also kind of a thing. Either way, while everyone is always trying to claim Dumpling Cafe in Boston’s Chinatown has the best soup dumplings, this is actually totally wrong. The best Chinese food in town is at Shanghai Gate. Shanghai Gate is this super secret authentic (and Zagat rated) Chinese  restaurant hidden between a Dunkin Donuts and bar.  Their xiao long bao are the jumpoff. (Rachel would like to put in a vote for Mary Chung’s in Central Square.)

Ten Tables (597 Centre Street, JP; 5 Craigie Circle, Cambridge) For a straight up Fancy Night Out, it’s hard to go wrong with Ten Tables. To be as impressive as possible, order the chef’s tasting menu (there’s a meat or vegetarian option, and if you call ahead, they can work with vegans).

Craigie on Main (Central Sq, Cambridge) Largely considered one of the best joints in town, Craigie just rocks. Chef Tony Maws buys ingredients for the ever changing menu daily in Boston and is literally in that kitchen every night. While Craigie can be expensive and hard to get in to, you can totally impress a date by snagging seats at the bar for cocktails and by far the best burger around.

KO Pies (87 A St, Boston) KO pies is a super secret delicious Australian style meat pie shop. The shop is about the size of a closet with exactly one table and two employees. It’s so delicious I can’t even really talk about it. Oh! And they have a vegetarian pie just for you!

The Barbara Lynch Gruppo Many of the best restaurants in Boston are owned by James Beard Award winning chef Barbara Lynch. Lynch’s restaurants No.9 Park and Menton are so good (and so expensive) that people only get to eat at them after winning the Hunger Games. On the other hand, B&G Oysters, Sportello and The Butcher Shop are much more reasonably priced but lack none of the deliciousness. The Butcher Shop is actually Lizz’s favorite restaurant in the entire city. Rachel has never been because, you know, it’s called The Butcher Shop and she’s a vegan.

Not Specifically Gay Drinking

The Otherside Cafe (407 Newbury St,  Boston) Its name comes from being on the other side  of Mass Ave on Boston’s posh Newbury Street, but the Otherside is no fancy-pants cocktail lounge (Sonsie is your only real option for cocktails and I hate it there). The Otherside (pictured above) is a laid back restaurant/beer bar that boasts one of the best beer menus around and a really cool set up with an indoor balcony.  The Otherside’s associated bar, Lord Hobo in Cambridge, is also a great time but tends to be a quieter atmosphere.

Drink (348 Congress St, Boston) Owned by the previously mentioned Barbara Lynch, Drink is the perfect ending to the fantasy date you go on with your soulmate in which you also are a millionaire who wants a drink from an extremely talented sort of queer looking hot bartender. Drink doesn’t have a menu; instead, you describe what you want, and whether it’s a cocktail no one has made since 1925 or “a thing with tequila in it that’s not a margarita?” it will appear in front of you, and it will be perfect. Good for serious cocktail aficionados (hellooo Rachel Maddow) or people who want to try a fancy drink but don’t know much about them. And/or people who want to impress their dates, obvs.

Trina’s Starlite Lounge (3 Beacon Street  Somerville) A hidden gem near Inman Square, Trina’s is speakeasy-esque and also has delicious original cocktails invented by Trina herself. Their cocktail menu changes over time, but once Rachel had maybe the best tequila drink she’s ever had there, just saying.

Deep Ellum (477 Cambridge St, Boston)  Deep Ellum is hipster paradise in a nutshell. Craft cocktails and micro-brew beer and a porch/deck thing in the back. I kind of think it’s too dark and too loud but everyone else in the world seems to love it. They also serve food including truffle Parmesan french fries. Also check out the nearby dive The Silhouette and the powerhouse bar Sunset Grill & Tap who boast 112 taps.

Eastern Standard (528 Commonwealth Ave, Boston) Referred to by GQ as “(perhaps unintentionally) the most elegant sports bar in the country” Eastern Standard is kind of exactly that. But in a really good way. Nestled near Fenway Park’s gobs of thumping sports bars, Eastern Standard serves up excellent cocktails in a somewhat causal atmosphere. While the cocktails aren’t as good as the one’s you’ll find at Drink, you’ll probably get in the door faster.

Places to Get Alternative Lifestyle Haircuts

Shag Salon (840 Summer Street, Boston) Possibly the hippest establishment you will ever walk into of any kind, owner (and generally cool guy) Sandy Poirier turned an old warehouse in South Boston in to the best place to get rockstar hair. Shag will run you at least $80 for a cut including tip, but you will also look like sex on legs. Lizz’s stylist, Kara Hurston, was even declared the city’s most eligible lesbian bachelorette by the Improper Bostonian. If you don’t have a haircut budget, it’s worth calling in to see if they’re looking for ‘hair models’ to train new staff on, which means a free haircut for you. Just look how cute they all are in this video:

Liquid Hair Studios (640 Tremont Street, Boston) While virtually impossible to find parking for, Liquid is really popular, and its staff are all people you’d love to be friends with. They’re down for anything from “layers and a trim” to “rhinestone-studded mohawk.”

Judy Jetson (1765 Massachusetts Ave,  Cambridge) Judy Jetson has a passionate following, and is frequently declared best place to get a haircut by the Boston Phoenix. There’s also a neat metal sculpture outside!

LGBTQ Organizations/Resources

BAGLY: The Boston Alliance of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth
The Edge
Boston Pride
Boston LGBT Film Festival
The History Project
SpeakOUT Boston
Fenway Health

Colleges

There are just a ton of colleges around Boston! The thing about having all of these schools around is that they all throw queer parties throughout the school year. It also means the mean age of everyone is brought down to like 25. Wellesley in particular throws a great Dyke Ball every year. This is one of those parties that you desperately need to go to when you’re in college and desperately need to not go to once you’re over 22.

Things to Do/Date Nights

Fenway Park and the Garden (Kenmore Sq and West End, Boston) One of the benefits of having major league baseball, basketball and hockey is the availability of actually going to games. You can usually get shitty last minute tickets outside the game, sometimes for dirt cheap.  Additionally, Fenway Park holds tours that are a must see for any baseball fan.

Museum of Fine Arts (465 Huntington Avenue, Boston) A true insider tip, is that the MFA is somehow staffed by basically exclusively queer women. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s definitely a thing. The MFA also hosts independent/foreign film screenings and super hip concerts. You can also get in free with a Boston-area college ID!

ICA (100 Northern Avenue, Boston) More expensive but also hipper than the MFA, the ICA is Boston’s Institute of Contemporary Art. Even if you hate art (which, what? why?) the building is beautiful, and has an incredible view of the harbor designed such that you feel like you’re actually standing out on the water. Also it’s full of awesome contemporary art, which changes fairly frequently.

The Boston Symphony Orchestra This is classy as hell, and an excuse to get dressed up! The BSO also sells cheap $20 tickets to people under 40 (the opposite of a senior discount?) and you can also go to a dress rehearsal for something like half off the price of a regular concert. The more you know!

Donkey Show (Oberon Theater, Harvard Sq, Boston) Donkey Show is extremely difficult to explain, but basically it’s a re-imagining of a Midsummer Night’s Dream performed inside a 70s dance club all around you while you drink, dance and generally have a good time. Also there’s glitter basically everywhere. And drag kings.

Brewery Tours Both Sam Adams and Harpoon offer tours of the breweries.  This is wicked fun and involves plenty of beer sampling for everyone. While plenty of other breweries in New England give tours, Harpoon and Sam Adams are accessible by the T so no one has to drive. While this is a particularly great way to spend the day with out of town guests, by your third visit to any brewery there is a large chance you’ll be completely over it.

Improv There are two main improv theaters in Boston: Improv Asylum in the North End and Improv Boston ironically in Cambridge. Both are a great night out and very funny. Both boast extremely reasonably priced tickets (around $15-20). Is there anything cuter or more charming than getting your date brought on stage to be completely embarrassed by a troupe of semi-professional comedians? I think not.

Swan Boat Ride This was Rachel’s favorite thing to do when she was about six, and the novelty has not worn off. In Boston’s Public Gardens, you can pay something like $2 to sit in a giant paddleboat shaped like a swan with a dozen other people while a sweaty young man who’s getting paid six dollars and hour pedals it around in circles in a tiny pond. If that doesn’t sound cute and appealing, you’re wrong. Also, there are real swans in the pond too. You can feed them bread crumbs!

Ice Skating on the Frog Pond Also located in the Public Gardens, this is totes hands down the cutest thing to do all winter. Put on matching mittens and go skating around in circles! Tuesday nights are College Night and it’s only $2 admission! Also apparently there’s a yoga class there in the summer now, so that’s neat.

Finale (Park Plaza, Harvard Sq) Finale is whole restaurant of nothing but delicious dessert. It’s also super romantic and they don’t even mind at all if you squeeze in to the same side of the booth. Actually, Lizz did two Valentine’s days in a row (with different people) of ice skating at the Public Gardens followed by dessert at Finale.

Lone Star Taco (477 Cambridge St, Boston) “I like taking people to Lone Star Taco so I can assess if they eat.” — Lizz

A Love Letter To Savannah’s Past, Present and Future

feature image via .neha. on flickr

Despite being a born and bred Georgian, I delayed my pilgrimage to The Hostess City of the South until my freshman year of college. In my mind, I’d already been there. Gone With the Wind references were thrown around here more than questions about Obama’s citizenship; my hometown—over 200 miles away from Savannah—had immortalized Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara in a sprawling mural.

Savannah would be better for ya. You’d just get in trouble in Atlanta.
– Mammy, ‘Gone With the Wind’

In my defense, had Gone With the Wind entailed Scarlett O’Hara having a steamy affair with Melanie Hamilton while simultaneously abolishing slavery, Savannah would have definitely piqued my interest earlier on.

That trip ended up being the third best decision I’ve ever made (next to buying a hammock and reading Autostraddle, obviously).

Savannah is nothing like the movies. If one thing defines her, it is the not the presence of heavy drawls and hoop skirts: it’s the weather. Miles away from the city, it greets you through your car’s open windows. The mix of unbearable humidity and beachy breeze urges you to strip down to nothing, to bare it all, to be yourself. Everyone and everything is accepted as-is—queer girls and Spanish moss alike.

Since then, Interstate 16 has become my lifeline. It’s said that the further south you travel, the more “northern” the culture seems. The saying comes to an apex in Savannah, a city where southern values eccentrically coexist with progressive schools of thought.

While ‘gay’ and ‘southern’ seem like they’d mix together as well as Liberace at a tent revival, Savannah is a remarkably queer place. If the city were a member of the LGBTQIA community, she would totally be a queer fat femme: Hailing from a traditional location, she’s managed to subvert the racist and sexist post-antebellum norm and made the city into a better place for all.

Savannah’s progressive atmosphere is primarily due to her healthy relationship with the past, a rare quality to find in Southern cities. Some try to hush their unflattering histories by covering it over with six layer of paint (see the removal of historic murals from the Atlanta capitol) while others boast their heritage as unquestioningly as a rebel flag bumper stickers on a pick-up truck.

The former Confederate capitol, on the other hand, takes it all in stride: she owns her past but never stops moving forward. The local underground railways, slave burial grounds, and Civil Rights Museum are all reminders of what Savannah once was. The city’s past is everywhere, intersecting with its present on the cobblestone streets made from the rocks once used to anchor slave and cotton ships in the port of Savannah.

Today, you can find people of all stripes out and about in Savannah. The city’s four nationally-accredited universities (including Savannah College of Art and Design) are a testament to her progressive outlook and do wonders to ensure that the city is never short on sexy gender studies majors and brooding creatives. But it didn’t take an art school for Savannah to debunk post-Confederate clichés. The city’s best and brightest have been at it for over a century.

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JULIETTE GORDON LOWE

With the assistance of her fierce collection of hats, Savannahian Juliette Gordon Lowe created the Girl Scouts of America in 1912. Over its 100 years of existence, the organization has done its share of patriarchy-smashing by including African-Americans, LGBTQ youth, and disabled Scouts and offering badge in non-traditionally-feminine endeavors like aerospace and science. It’s no wonder that Hillary Clinton, Sally Ride, and approximately two-thirds of lesbians nationwide (including my Gold Award-winning, Gold Star girlfriend) are among GSA’s alumnae.

This year, the city is celebrating the Girl Scouts’ 100 years of service with exhibitions, talks, and tours of Juliette Gordon Lowe’s massive home on the corner of Bull and West Oglethorpe.

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FLANNERY O’CONNOR

The $6 admission to Flannery O’Connor’s childhood home on East Charleston is well worth it. One of the few women involved with the southern gothic literary movement, O’Connor was also a queer ally.

Between 1955 and 1964, the writer exchanged over 300 letters with her 20th century fangirl, Elizabeth “Betty” Hester. When Hester came out to O’Connor, the author responded:

“There are times when the worst suffering is not to suffer, and the worst affliction, not to be afflicted.”

While there’s no evidence to suggest that Hester and O’Connor’s relationship went further than friendship, Hester’s closest friends claim that she spent the nine-year friendship pining over her favorite literary rock star.

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JIM WILLIAMS

Renovator Jim Williams began restoring Savannah’s historic homes as national treasures during the ’50s. Ironically, Williams is most well-known in Georgia for being the sole person to be tried four times for the same crime: The 1981 murder of his assistant and lover, Danny Hansford.

Tragically, Williams died shortly after the “not guilty” verdict of his fourth trial—in the same spot in the Mercer House where Hansford died nine years prior. A must-visit for any tourist, the home has become a hotspot on Savannah’s trolley tours.

Alternatively, you could just Netflix Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and watch Jude Law play a striking, sulking Danny Hansford.

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LADY CHABLIS

There are drag queens, and then there is Lady Chablis. The first lady of comedic drag rose to fame after being featured in John Berent’s original book, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, in 1994. She still regularly performs at Club One, Savannah’s largest gay club.

Take a gander:

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PAULA DEEN

While I have an unwavering hatred of grits and cannot fathom why anyone would want four pounds of sugar in their tea, I can appreciate Paula Deen. She’s regularly spoken out against the bullying of LGBTQ teens—a rarity for southern women.

Located on the corner of Congress and Whitaker, Deen’s Lady and Sons is a major tourist attraction due to its proprietor’s fame, but is hardly visited by locals who’ve already been inundated with the queen of butter’s face on everything from barbecue sauce labels to magazine covers to frying pans. To quote my own mother, “I’m sure she’s a damned good cook, but I can make the same food for next to nothin’.”

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Queer By Day

While many queer communities in the south are largely silenced by gender roles and sexual taboo, Savannah is readily accepting of its blossoming queer culture.

Savannah Pride
Since 1999, Savannah Pride has been growing each year. Get your pre-game on at Club One beforehand with disco dancing and a comedy show featuring Lady Chablis. Pride usually takes place during September, thus sidestepping the muggy summer months where wearing pants equates having a death wish.

Standout Youth
A trans*-friendly LGBT safe space, Standout Youth works to empower teenagers by providing weekly meetings for groups to gather and talk about their experiences.

Saint Patrick’s Day
Next to Mardi Gras and Atlanta Pride, Paddy’s Day in Savannah is arguably the best excuse to get wasted in the deep, dark south. The Forsyth Park fountain is even dyed green in remembrance of the Irish saint and drunkards everywhere. The best Irish car bombs can be found at Chuck’s.

Tybee Island
A fifteen-minute drive from downtown Savannah, the beach is a much-welcome sight when you’ve spent the better part of the day sweating bullets.

Good Grief Alley Cat
If dykes on [non-motorized] bikes are your thing, Savannah’s the place for you. Bike stores dot every downtown corner, and the city has hosted both the Tour de Georgia and the Savannah Century. This April marks fixed geared cycling’s first appearance in competitive racing in Savannah.

River Street
Tourists and citizens agree: River Street is the place to be. The strip separating the Port of Savannah from the downtown area is dotted with casual bars, seafood restaurants, arts and crafts dealers, thrift stores, and—most importantly—candy shops. River Street Sweets’ (13 E River Street) pecan pralines are legendary.

There are few things more blissful than having Gelatohhh‘s (224 W St. Julian Street) famous organic gelato on a summer day while watching ships come into harbor.

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Queer By Night

Sentient Bean (13 E Park Avenue)
If you’ve never understood the “lesbian coffee shop date” cliché, you’re overdue a visit to the Bean. Patrons are mostly queer and/or vegan, and SCAD students. Plus, who couldn’t love a coffee shop with its very own documentary?

Peace Love & Hummus from LA Reno Photography on Vimeo.

Rocks on the Roof (102 W Bay Street)
Located on River Street in the Bohemian, Rocks on the Roof is where the upscale gays play. While the prices could be considered steep, you’re paying for more than just an amazing view. Don’t come here for the booze but do make your way here for southern food that’s low on grease and high on flavor.

Club One (1 Jefferson Street)
Savannah’s biggest gay club. If you go on the weekend, ask for a bartender named Cody, and tell him Sarah Fonseca sent you.

Chuck’s Bar (305 W River Street)
If you find the straight crowd at Club One a bit much, head a few blocks down to Chuck’s. While most of the patronage is older gay men, it’s the perfect excuse to break out your “I Heart Bears” tee.

Now download a map of downtown Savannah, grab some Field Notes and get going!

Queer Girl City Guide: Albuquerque, New Mexico

0. 2/20/2012 – Here/Queer Call for Submissions, by Riese
1. 3/02/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Montreal, Canada, by Sid
2. 3/05/2012 – Playlist: Here/Queer, by Riese
3. 3/05/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Portland, Oregon, by Lesbians in PDX
4. 3/07/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Brighton, United Kingdom, by Sarah Magdalena
5. 3/07/2012 – Oh But To Be A Queer in Sicily, by Jenn
6. 3/08/2012 – City Guide: Seattle, by Marley
7. 3/11/2012 – City Guide: Washington DC, by Keena
8. 3/13/2012 – Here/Queer: Sydney Mardi Gras Is On Your To-Do List, by Crystal
9. 3/14/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Spokane, Washington, by Ana
10. 3/15/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Cleveland, Ohio, by Lora
11. 3/16/2012 – Madison, WI and W4W Entertainment, by Emily
12. 3/16/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Dublin, Ireland, by Una
13. 3/19/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Vancouver, Canada, by Kathryn
14. 3/19/2012 – Things We Wrote That You Loved, by The Team
15. 3/20/2012 – Here/Queer: Boogie Down Bronx, by Gabby
16. 3/21/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Columbus, Ohio, by Dominique, Annie, Kat, Liz & Mila
17. 3/24/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Santa Fe, New Mexico, by Sam
18. 3/24/2012 – Here/Queer: Oxford, by Sybil
19. 3/26/2012 – Get Baked: Australian Edition, by Crystal
20. 3/26/2012 – Here/Queer: Brooklyn Under the Radar, by Samken
21. 3/27/2012 – Queer Girl City Guide: Albuquerque, New Mexico, by Juanita

Albuquerque. AKA “the Duke City” or “Burque.” Before moving to Manhattan in 1999 to attend graduate school at NYU, I spent the first 23 years of my life residing in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the last two of those years as an out lesbian. The hospital I was born in, the high school I attended and the undergraduate university from which I earned my bachelor’s degree are all located within a 1.5 mile radius of each other. It goes without saying that this city holds a special place in my heart. Still, I sort of have an “it’s complicated” relationship status with Albuquerque.

Someone once jokingly said that if Santa Fe, the second gayest city according to the Advocate, is known as “the city different,” then Albuquerque is known as “the city indifferent.” Things move at a snail’s pace in this city, and even though Burqueños are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, the city is often resistant to change. My type-A, I-needed-that-on-my-desk-yesterday personality is often at odds with a city that is notoriously known as “the land of mañana.” As with anything else in Burque, if you want girl-on-girl action, you have to be patient and look hard for it. But once you find it, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

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I Love the Nightlife, I’ve Got to Boogie

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There are no officially designated lesbian bars in Albuquerque, and there are only three gay bars catering primarily to men. However, there is plenty of girl-on-girl boogie in Burque to fill up your dance card. Here’s a lesbian nightlife roundup that you won’t find in a Fodor’s guide:

Established in 2001, the Albuquerque Kings Club, Burque’s premiere Drag King performance group, draws a sizable lesbian crowd to their events. They perform in Burque’s three gay bars (The Albuquerque Social Club, Effex, and Sidewinders) and at Evolution, the straight-but-gay-friendly bar that took over the space once occupied by Albuquerque’s only lesbian bar, the now-closed Exhale. Kings Club member Rocco Steele is the first trans man to hold the Mr. New Mexico Pride title.

Albuquerque Social Club (4021 Central Avenue) Albuquerque’s only “members only” LGBTQ club draws more of an old school crowd. They host women’s parties featuring DJ Madie, one of Burque’s veteran lesbian DJs, on the first and third Fridays of the month. Memberships range from $5 to $30 annually.

With a capacity of 750, Effex (420 Central) is Albuquerque’s newest and largest gay club. Here you’ll find go-go dancers, a roof-top lounge, one of the largest dance floors in the city, and a young, diverse crowd of gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and curious party-goers.

Fire Womyn Events (Various locations) Promoter Alma Rosa brings in big name acts, like Bitch and God-Des & She, to her monthly dance and performance events for womyn by womyn. The crowd is extremely diverse; no matter what your age or style, you will never feel out of place. Alma Rosa’s rationale behind having rotating venues is to increase the LGBTQ community’s access to venues that are usually not accessible to them and to shift business owners’ perspectives of our community. Subscribe to Fire Womyn for their calendar of events.

Giddy-up, cowgirls! Sidewinders (8900 Central Avenue) is Burque’s queer country bar. Alma Rosa of Fire Womyn events brings the lady-loving-ladies a new party here every Wicked Wednesday, complete with 50 cent tacos!

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Other Queer-Friendly Bars

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Burt’s Tiki Lounge (313 Gold Avenue) This hipster/Rockabilly live music venue could be straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof! With its anything goes attitude, you’re bound to find some lesbian/bi/curious action going on here. Located in what was once Albuquerque’s only lesbian bar, Evolution (6132 Fourth Street), no longer billed as a gay club, draws in dance and music lovers of all sexual orientations.

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LGBTQ Activities, Events & Soirees

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While not strictly a queer group, the The Duke City Darlins are a queer-friendly, all female promotional street team and modified (i.e., pierced, tattooed or otherwise personalized) model company. They host charity events and volunteer to raise money and awareness for marginalized groups and women’s health issues, among other advocacy initiatives. Founder and CEO Dezy Hardin Darlin is bisexual herself, and her business partner, Chief Executive Director, Brittany Darlin, is one of the lead members of GetEQUAL New Mexico. Bisexual CFO, Suzanna Bonesteel Darlin, says that she “feel[s] as though [they] are one of the most accepting, openly supportive organizations for the gay community. [They] participate in Pride every year, winning 2nd place last year for our float, as well as support and participate in gay marriage/LGBT rights rallies.” This sexy group of ladies ROCK!

One of the original 100 roller derby leagues in the U.S., Duke City Derby is comprised of teams from Albuquerque, Santa Fe and Taos. Duke City Derby is queer-friendly and welcoming to women of all shapes, sizes, races, and ethnicities. DCD belongs to the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), a national organization of roller derby leagues with hundreds of leagues internationally that just last year adopted a policy that allows transgender skaters to play in their organization.

Lesbian comic Dana Goldberg, a native New Mexican, is the host and producer of Southwest Funny Fest, an annual comedy event that benefits New Mexico AIDS Services. Goldberg brings in other headlining funny lesbos like Fortune Feimster of Chelsea Lately.

The Southwest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival is an annual film festival that started in Albuquerque in 2003. Produced by Closet Cinema, an Albuquerque-based nonprofit organization dedicated to showcasing queer cinema in an attempt to highlight the richness of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender experience, the festival showcases distinguished LGBTQ shorts and films from around the world.

Yes, I’ve been to a Burque Pride Parade or two. But I’ve also lived in Manhattan since 1999. With that in mind, would it really be fair for me to assess Burque’s Pride events? From my point of view, all I can say for Albuquerque’s Pride Parade is that there is one. And that’s a start; no matter how big or small the gathering, it is always inspiring to see fellow queers stand in solidarity with each other. With Burque’s population now inching closer and closer to one million, though, I hope to see the city step up its Pride events in the future.

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For Your Food and Caffeine Fix

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Ok, so here’s where I feel New Mexico beats New York hands down – New Mexican food! I was told that I could find the best of any type of cuisine 24 hours a day in NYC. 13 years later, I am still searching for delicious, authentic New Mexican food. (No one in NYC knows what a sopapilla is!) New Mexican food is not Mexican food; it’s not Tex Mex–when a New Mexican says chile, we don’t mean that chunky Tex-Mex mess with beans; and it’s not Cali-Mex. Albuquerque is highly regarded as a culinary city, with a unique cuisine that is influenced by U.S., Native American, Mexican and Spanish cultures. We eat chile with everything, so bring your Pepto!

Wait, everything? Everything! Take for example the homemade vanilla red chile fudge, dark chocolate red chile truffles, and green chile peanut brittle served up at The Candy Lady (524 Romero Street) in Old Town Albuquerque. If you’re into a different type of spice, visit the Candy Lady’s sexplicit adult sweets section.

El Patio (142 Harvard Drive) New Mexicans often argue about which restaurant serves the best chile. And while I’m not going to enter that debate right now, I will tell you to come here with a huge appetite, order the carne adovada stuffed sopapilla, and be prepared for some heartburn.

Flying Star Café (3416 Central Avenue) Come here for queers cruising queers, drinking coffee, eating cake, cruising queers, posting flyers advertising their next band gig or art show, drinking coffee or cruising queers.

Open seven days a week from 5am to 1am, Frontier Restaurant (2400 Central Avenue) is a Burqueño’s version of a NYC diner, only better due to the fact that their array of items, from their flour tortillas to their fresh squeezed lemonade, is prepared homemade daily. Frontier is located across the street from the University of New Mexico, so you’ll find lots of artists, college students, graduate Teaching Assistants, and professors hanging out and people-watching all day.

So, you punked out? Your stomach couldn’t handle all that heat. You need some of that fancy pants, local, organic Northern California style familiarity to soothe your queer belly? Well then, The Grove Café & Market (600 Central Avenue) is right up your alley, with their house-made granola, organic yogurt and Intelligentsia coffees and teas.

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Tats

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Burque is a pretty heavily-tatted city. All Is One Tattoo & Design (139 Harvard Drive), Evolution Tattoo (4517 Central Avenue Northeast) and Route 66 Fine Line Tattoo (5511 Central Avenue Northeast) are only a few of the finest places to get inked.

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Gay(ish)borhood

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Nob Hill — sometimes called “Snob Hill” because of its high end boutiques and boho vibe–is not technically a “gayborhood,” but it’s the closest thing Burque has to one. Located along historic Route 66, Nob Hill is home to a number of queer friendly establishments including the Flying Star (mentioned above), the Guild Cinema (an “eclectic” cinema that shows indie films), and the La Montanita Co-Op Food Market (um, hello).

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Hoods to Avoid

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There are lots of places to avoid, especially at night. Gang activity has been a problem for Albuquerque, and the city often ranks way above New York and Los Angeles in terms of violent crime. (Less than 10 years ago, it was within the top 10 most violent cities, which is ironic considering everyone I know back home is always concerned about my safety in NYC). My recommendation to anyone regardless of their sexual orientation is to travel in packs when the sun goes down. Don’t let its beauty fool you; Burque still has a “Wild Wild West” mentality.

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College Life

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The University of New Mexico gave me some of the best memories of my life. I didn’t go to a top notch or gay-friendly high school; as a “townie,” I knew a lot of locals and I didn’t share the same views or post-high school graduation goals with many of them. UNM, located right on Route 66 near Nob Hill, is an artsy, laid back, hippie-dippy campus that allowed me to just be me. Even though I stayed home for undergrad, the mentality on UNM’s campus is so different from that of the city at large that I felt like I went away for college. There are lots of great queer resources on campus, including the LGBTQ Resource Center, the UNM Feminist Research Institute, the UNM Queer Straight Alliance, and the UNM Women’s Resource Center, to name a few. It doesn’t hurt that UNM has a beautiful campus known for its unique, Spanish-Pueblo style adobe buildings.

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Go Team!

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If you’re a big sports enthusiast, you probably already know that, with the exception of the Albuquerque Isotopes, a minor league baseball team, New Mexico doesn’t have any professional sports teams. If you’re truly a REAL sports enthusiast, you know that Burque makes up for its lack of professional sports teams with our college sports. Burque is Lobo country! The UNM Lobos have an excellent athletics department, sending many players on to the NBA and NFL, and their basketball teams play at the Pit, one of the loudest arenas in the country!

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LGBTQ Community Centers/Support Groups/Resources

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Located on the University of New Mexico’s campus, the The LGBTQ Resource Center is open to students as well as to the general public. Out country singer Chely Wright recently opened a “Like Me Lighthouse” LGBTQ community center in Kansas City, Missouri and in an interview with MSNBC, she stated that she hoped to open one in Albuquerque in the future. Fingers crossed! We’ve also got Equality New Mexico, Get Equal New Mexico and the Transgender Resource Center of New Mexico.

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Get Up!

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Albuquerque is home to the world’s largest International Balloon Fiesta, as well as the world’s longest double reversible tramway.

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Get Out!

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If you’re an outdoorsy dyke, then Burque is perfect for you. New Mexico’s natural beauty is unparalleled, so get out of the bar and hit the great outdoors. Here are some day (or longer) trips that my friends in NYC don’t believe I’ve taken. (Is it the glitter top or the heels that throw them off?)

About 1 hour from Burque, Bandelier National Monument has great hiking, camping, wildlife and cliff dwellings.

You can find hot springs, river walking, waterfalls, hiking, and camping approximately 1.5 hours from Burque at Jemez Springs. Don’t forget to stop in at Deb’s Deli.

About one hour from Burque, you can go hiking, catch amazing views, tent rock formations and wildlife at the Kasha-Katuwe Tent Rocks National Monument.

Summer sports like hiking, biking, nature walks, camping, and picnicking and winter recreation like skiing are just 15-30 minutes away from the city at the Sandia Mountains. Watermelon, anyone?

Santa Fe: Just 45 minutes from Burque. The state’s capital and the oldest capital in the United States has over 300 art galleries and museums combined, including the Georgia O’Keefe Museum. If the Santa Fe Opera is in season, catch a performance at their open-air Crosby Theater.

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Gay Rights NM

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New Mexico is a BIG state…and a swing state. Albuquerque is more conservative than Santa Fe, but more liberal than some one-horse towns further south. New Mexico in general offers domestic partnership benefits to state employees, but a recent, more comprehensive domestic partnership bill never even made it out of committee. On January 4, 2011, Attorney General Gary King issued an opinion stating that that a valid same-sex marriage from another jurisdiction is valid in New Mexico. While New Mexico doesn’t perform gay marriages, King’s opinion hasn’t yet been tested in the courts or legislature.

In more current glitterific homo news, New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez (R) recently lost her hairdresser over her anti-gay marriage stance. Stylist Antonio Daren cut Martinez’s hair on three different occasions but decided to decline further appointments until the Governor changed her opinions. When Martinez’s camp called Daren’s salon to see if he would change his mind, Daren held firm. He. Betta. Werk!