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Autostraddle’s Favorite and Least Favorite Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans TV Characters of 2019

When GLAAD released their annual Where We Are on TV report this year, they announced that LGBTQ+ TV characters are at an all-time high. The headlines all over the internet were ecstatic. Gays win! Best year ever! But the reality is a lot more complicated than that. “Our community,” as GLAAD President Sarah Kate Ellis noted, “finds itself in 2019 facing unprecedented attacks on our progress.”

Every year, our TV Team compiles a list of our favorite and least favorite characters. (For example: 2018, 2017, 2016). It’s fun. Nothing excites us like loving our favorite stories out loud. But there was also a sense, as we approached this list this year, that it was so much more than just good-time reminiscence, especially when so much of the quantitative and qualitative growth we continue to see on-screen is for thin, cis, white, non-disabled queer characters. Our stories matter politically and they matter personally. When they’re good, it makes us so happy. When they’re bad, there’s so much more at stake than our annoyance or discontent. Politics and pop culture have always had a symbiotic relationship, which is why representation — legitimately good representation that explores the fullness of humanity of all LGBTQ+ people at the intersections of the myriad oppressions we face — is more important than it ever has been.

Here’s what we loved this year and what we didn’t like very much at all. We’d love to hear about your favorite and least favorite characters in the comments!

FAVORITE CHARACTERS

Heather Hogan

Anne Lister, Gentleman Jack

I think most LGBTQ people have those a-ha! fictional characters who finally allow them to look closely at and accept their sexuality and their gender, and I also think most LGBTQ people have those if-only fictional characters they wish had been around when they were whatever age or going through such-and-such thing, to show them the way. I’m going to do that second thing to Elena Alvarez in just a second, in fact! It’s much rarer for a real-life queer adult to stumble upon a fictional queer adult who reminds them of who they are right now, who reflects their grown-up gay reality back at them. Anne Lister is the first — and maybe she’ll be the only — character to ever do that for me. There are so many of her soft butch ways that just resonate. The masculine way she dresses, her stride and gait, the firmness of her gesticulations, going toe-to-toe with every man in her way; but the tenderness too, and the overwhelming need to hold it all together and make everything okay. It was a new thing, to me, to see that on TV. And also, for someone who, on a cellular level, is comprised as much of Jane Austen stories as I am of water, well — finally.

Sophie Moore, Batwoman

There were so many ways Batwoman could have gone wrong that actually went so, so right — and my favorite one of them is Sophie Moore. The source danger is that she’s a kind of one-dimensional flashback in the comics. The current danger is that she’s Kate Kane’s ex-girlfriend who is presently married to a man, so there’s a real tightrope there between some really longstanding and harmful bisexual tropes. Yet, Batwoman‘s writers are walking it deftly, and have, on top of that, made Sophie more than Kate’s love interest. Sophie is drawn to rules, structure, order, regulated heroism. She’s also a queer woman in love with a winged vigilante who got kicked out of a prestigious military academy for breaking their Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy and refusing to deny it or apologize for it. We’ve barely scratched the surface of Sophie and I can’t wait to see what we find as the writers keep digging.

Annalise Keating, How to Get Away With Murder

“I still believe, and I will say this until I go to my grave, that Annalise Keating and Olivia Pope are the greatest characters on TV,” is a thing Viola Davis told Variety this year, because the writers on HTGAWM aren’t “writing tentatively” for people of color. They’re writing bold. And they’re writing messy. Six seasons in, the fact that Annalise Keating exists and is played by Viola Davis still blows my mind. Viola Davis! That she’s bisexual on top of it it all and also now has a best friend who also is a queer Black woman? It’s honestly unbelievable and I feel fucking blessed to be living on this timeline to witness it.

Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time

This brilliant, driven, dorky, heroic queer teen was always going to make the list for me. One Day at a Time is one of my all-time favorite shows and she is just so wonderful and refreshing. Exploring Elena’s anxiety disorder this season just made me love her even more, and also made me wish I could have known her so much earlier in my life. I only understood mental illness to be one very specific thing that manifested itself in one very specific way (violence against me) when I was growing up. I never saw someone like me — a compassionate, silly overachiever — dealing with panic attacks. Never! And to have a mother who didn’t tell her to snap out of it or that she was being emotional or over-reacting, but to sit beside her and gently, lovingly teach her to breathe through it? I’m crying right now just thinking about it. Also, Syd-nificant other? COME ON! THAT’S PERFECT.

Petra Solano, Jane the Virgin

Petra is the opposite of every terrible bisexual TV character’s trajectory. Instead of being boldly proclaimed as A GAY CHARACTER and then reduced to one-dimensional writing and stereotypes before getting shuffled off to The Parking Lot of No Return, she was a just a caricature of a human being who evolved into a fully realized and deeply vulnerable and loyal friend/family member to Jane — and then she went and fell in love with another woman and got even more raw and real and wonderful. But don’t get it wrong. She never lost her edge. Love made her tender, but she absolutely still blackmailed her bleeding ex-husband who was trapped inside a teddy bear suit while lecturing him about bisexuality as the cops came to cart him off to jail.

Dex Parios, Stumptown

Stumptown itself has not lived up to my expectations. It’s RIDICULOUS that Dex hasn’t formed any relationships with any other female characters, and that her limited interactions with women are also limited to single-episode story arcs. RIDICULOUS. But gosh, I do love Dex. She’s a mess and she makes so many mistakes but she always wants to do the right thing and keep her friends and family safe. She’s also dealing with persistent trauma that’s never going to end. She’s self-destructive, but in a controlled way. She self-medicates, but not like before. She’ll never really “have it together” and she knows that and she’s not sorry for it. She’s doing the best she can with what she has, including a shocking variety of very cool ’80s jackets.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Cheryl Blossom, Riverdale

Unsurprisingly, I am still very obsessed with Cheryl Blossom, and the fact that the show has turned her into an Addams Family-meets-V.C. Andrews character makes me just love her more. Cheryl Blossom does not belong to our world. She does not speak like a human teen but rather like the town witch in a gothic horror story. I wish the Riverdale writers were more thoughtful in the writing of Toni Topaz this year, but I’ll always be thankful for the bizarreness of Cheryl and Toni’s most recent storylines — including burying and unburying bodies all the time????

Tegan Price, How To Get Away With Murder

How To Get Away With Murder has been all over the place as it spirals to its series finale next spring, but the introduction of Tegan to the show’s arsenal of morally questionable lawyers and lawyers-to-be has been a blessing. She’s funny, smart, and occasionally vulnerable, one of Annalise’s few real friends and an angry gay divorcee. We love to see it!

Bette Porter, The L Word: Generation Q

She’s back, she’s the mom of a teenager now, and she’s still ruining lives. Missed you, mommi.

Jules Vaughn, Euphoria

I didn’t love Euphoria as a whole (and I actively hated parts of it), but there are some little magical bits of it, especially when it comes to Jules and Hunter Schafer’s nuanced, visceral, specific performance. The show does messy friendship very, very well, and the love between Jules and Zendaya’s Rue is the most compelling part of the show.

Arthie Premkumar, GLOW

I went back and forth on whether to include Arthie here, because yes, she does continually hold a very special place in my heart, because I am a queer South Asian woman starved for representation on television, and season three not only lets her be hella gay but also includes LESBIAN SEX SCENES for the first time for the character and for the show. But that ends up being kind of… all we really get for Arthie this season. She doesn’t really exist outside of her relationship with Yolanda, who spends much of this season being pretty manipulative and yet it ends on a forced romantic note? In any case, I do love Arthie so much. And I can’t wait for the day when there are enough queer desi characters on TV for me to be able to pick and choose from.

Eve Fletcher, Mrs. Fletcher

I think Mrs. Fletcher ended up being one of the most underrated television shows of 2019. It’s sexy, real, and every episode unfolds like a colorful short story contemplating desire, personal evolution, and vulnerability. Eve is a fantastically complex bisexual character, and the show is thoughtful in how it explores her fantasies and emotions.

Carmen

Kat Edison, The Bold Type

As the year winds down, I keep returning back to Kat Edison. I don’t think I saw another queer character this year whose characterization and storytelling choices around their queerness was so fully developed without having to depend on a romantic partner to bring it to screen. That’s very hard to pull off. I loved Kat more on her own (and later with Tia, and later again with Adeena once more) than I ever loved her in pervious years. I finally related to her. I related to the questions of how do you redefine your queerness after suffering your first break up? When previously your sexuality had been tied up in you having a girlfriend? I related to her drive and ambition and desire to do good in the world. And yes, I’m sure we are all going to look back at the year when Kat “ran for city council” and laugh at the ridiculousness of it — but what is The Bold Type if not a wee bit ridiculous and running on glitter and girl power? Kat Edison lost a girlfriend, but she gained herself. And that was journey damn well worth watching.

Tia Reed, Boomerang

If you didn’t watch BET’s Boomerang, you missed one of the sleeper-hit best developed lesbian characters last year. It’s rare that we get to see a lesbian character in a half-hour comedy. Usually queer women’s stories are regulated to the high stakes tensions of “prestige dramas,” sci-fi epics, and soaps. In real life, lesbians and bisexuals are extremely funny and quirky, but television doesn’t seem ready to catch up. When I watched Boomerang last winter, I marveled at having such gay content front-and-center on the historically homophobic BET network that I didn’t give the craft of Lala Milan’s work enough credit. Sure, I laughed at Tia’s one liners and antics as they aired, but what’s stunning is that ten months later — I am still laughing. I can recall jokes in crystal memory. That’s talent. Yes, it’s important that Tia is one of the few queer characters on television who’s allowed to fully exist within a black space, and isn’t asked to check her queerness at the door. It’s important the she has black friends, and a black masc girlfriend. Sometimes, though, I worry that we get lost in the “representation conversation.”

Not that representation isn’t important! But also, everyone we are watching on screen — these are dedicated performers. Lala Milan has infectious energy and exquisite comedic timing; she can find the warmth in any conversational pause and twist it to her liking. And that is what makes Tia so memorable.

Candy Ferocity, Pose

This is controversial, I realize. I want to be clear right away: I do NOT agree with Pose’s decision to kill Candy Ferocity. I don’t think there was anything to be learned from (re)traumatizing it’s largely black and brown, trans and queer audience by showing her death, particularly in the gruesome way it was showcased. I was livid when that episode aired. One of my biggest editorial regrets this year is that I didn’t make space on our website for those grievances to be aired. They needed to be. Pose should be held accountable for those decisions, especially by the QTPOC folks that their show represents and serves.

OK, that all said and true: As the season progressed, I loved getting to know Candy through her afterlife. Angelica Ross found such life in Candy’s death and it was absolutely, hands down my favorite performance this year. It’s December and when I close my eyes it’s still July, and Candy is singing to me in a red shimmering dress. I close my eyes and it’s August, and she’s on a girl’s trip with her sisters peering down and smirking at me from her sunglasses. I close my eyes and her spirit is still there — with me. Not many actors could have pulled that off, but Angelia Ross is an impeccably unparalleled talent.

Emma Hernandez, Vida

Vida found itself in a difficult and unenviable predicament. It had one of the strongest first seasons of television I’ve ever seen. A true masterclass of the art form. How do you top coming out of the gates so strongly? The second season of the show is a bit more uneven, but I found it nonetheless mesmerizing, if only because it was so damn messy. And if we’re being real with ourselves, queerness is messy. I’ve never seen a protagonist like Emma Hernandez, who is so full of pain but trying to find these small spaces of reconciliation with her past and her hurt — whether that’s through some pretty complicated sex across the gender spectrum or quiet attempts at understanding with her sister and stepmother. Emma’s carrying her entire family’s future on the small frame of her ice cold shoulders. She definitely doesn’t always get it right, but my goodness — watching her is magnetic. You quite simply cannot stop rooting for her and for her utter complete mess, you know?

There’s a fine dance that can be struck between performer and writer, and Michel Prada and Tanya Saracho have found it in each other. They’re creating pure magic. I hope they never let go.

Batwoman, Batwoman

The other day I was joking that I didn’t necessarily mean that Ruby Rose’s take on Kate Kane was one of my my favorite performances this year, as much as I was fully prepared to hate their version of Batwoman, and instead — I really don’t. Batwoman is easily one of my favorite queer television shows of the fall, and certainly my favorite superhero story of the moment. Given how trepidatious I felt last spring about this entire shebang, that’s no small feat. I remember the first time I saw the trailer — and then the press screener — for Batwoman, I was stunned with a single thought: Ruby Rose might actually just pull this off. And you know what? They really have. I felt like that deserves some acknowledgement, so here I am: Way to go, Ruby Rose. Despite all of our collective fears and the entire queer world’s eyes thrusted upon you, you are somehow really pulling it off.

Riese

Sarah Finley, The L Word: Generation Q

Finley, Generation Q’s charming grifter with a complicated relationship to church and (her home) state, is a character. Like literally she’s a character, but she’s also a person that if she existed in real life, you’d be like “she’s a character.” She’s that one-of-a-kind person in your friend group whose presence is never forgotten and when she’s not around, it feels like something is missing, the same way you might feel when your adorable dog is at the groomers. She offers comic relief, is a winningly extroverted foil to Shane’s withdrawn intensity and steals every scene she’s in.

Abbi and Ilana, Broad City

Broad City did so much for queer representation by the time it ended its five-season run on Comedy Central — including its acknowledgment of bisexuality as an identity that transcends romantic relationships and its centering of a goofy, self-indulgent, transformational, hilarious and undeniably epic romantic friendship unlike anything we’ve seen on television before.

Kay Manz, Mindhunter

Okay so Wendy was gay in Mindhunter’s first season, but her girlfriend was one of those blink-and-you-missed-her types that always seem to be attached to the complicated female detective/investigator who is gay but not TOO gay in so many shows of this nature. But in Season Two she got to have a real relationship with a woman who usually wore sleeveless shirts, thus revealing her very attractive arm situations. She challenged and changed Wendy in difficult and important ways that also opened Wendy up to us.

Abby, Work in Progress

It’s hard enough to find a butch dyke side character on television, let alone a show about a butch dyke. Middle-aged men wondering what the fuck the point is are a standard of half-hour prestige television, but a self-described “fat dyke” eating one almond every day on a nihilistic march towards death and alienating most of her peers falling for a (much younger) trans guy? That’s a new fucking story! And so far I’m very intrigued by it.

Hen, 9-1-1

9-1-1 isn’t a typical procedural — the personal lives of the main characters aren’t sidelined and often take center stage. (It helps that everybody in the ensemble has decided to date… each other.) But even under those circumstances it felt unlikely we’d ever get to see a real fleshed out storyline for lesbian EMT Hen (played by Aisha Hinds, who also played gay in Under the Dome). This season we saw her and her wife, Karen (played by Tracie Thoms, who also played gay in Rent, UnREAL and The First) struggle with their attempts to get pregnant and then deal with Hen’s PTSD after a deadly vehicle crash. It’s a rare opportunity on television to see a black lesbian couple living out their complex adult lives within work and out of it, telling a story that never felt less important than the others. Through it we’re seeing so much more of who Hen is and what marriage looks like, brought to you by two women who are VERY GOOD at playing gay.

Drew

Rue Bennett and Jules Vaughn, Euphoria

As you might know, I have, um, complicated feelings about Euphoria. But God I love Rue and Jules. Because of Zendaya and Hunter Schafer’s astonishing performances, they don’t feel like mere characters to judge by Sam Levinson’s writing, but real people separate from the frustrations of the show. Since the first season ended I’ve found myself missing Rue’s wise for her age world-weariness and Jules’ determined joie de vivre. The way they intersect with one another and explode. Their specific teenage brand of messy, emotional fuck-up-ery. They are cooler than I ever was and cooler than I’ll ever be and I just want to watch them fall in love and friendship forever and ever.

Villanelle, Killing Eve

While the first season was a glorious introduction to my favorite lovesick assassin, the second season elevated Jodie Comer’s Villanelle in all the best ways. Her murders were more creative and brutal, her outfits more gorgeous and sharp, her accents even sillier, and her emotions even greater. More doesn’t always equal better, but with Villanelle, for me, it did. Bitmoji sucks if you have curly hair, so I’ve found when I need a cartoonish reaction in the group chat I always turn to Villanelle. There’s something about the way she’s a sociopath who cares too much, mixing viciousness and innocence and sexiness and terror, that makes her the perfect reaction GIF for everything. The first season I watched as Eve became obsessed with Villanelle. But this season the obsession was mine.

Emma Hernandez, Vida

What else can I say about Emma that I didn’t already say when Mishel Prada won a Gay Emmy for playing her? Prada’s performance is Emma. And yet, I can’t very well not include my very favorite character on my very favorite show. I love characters who are highly competent and totally in control. I love watching them crack. I love watching them put themselves back together – or be put back together. It’s comforting, as someone who tries to be highly competent and always in control. Despite our differences, I feel myself in Emma’s attempts to be a good sister, a good lover, a good citizen, and it’s a painful relief to watch her try. Also – and I cannot stress the importance of this enough – Emma is the hottest. Mean with a good heart? Distant but occasionally tender? A power femme more chaotic than Bette Porter? Emma Hernandez was created to ruin my life. Thank God she’s fictional.

Natalie

Nasreen “Nas” Paracha, Ackley Bridge

Early in the third series of Ackley Bridge, Nasreen Paracha is out for venegance after the death of her best friend, Missy Booth. She seeks out her girlfriend’s unsavory mates for help — she wants the culprit, Anwar, to pay for what he’s done — and they gleefully oblige. Despite never having known her, they shout, “this one’s for Missy, murdering scum” as they pummel him, recording the entire attack for prosperity.

The video makes its way across Ackley Bridge, stoking resentment between the whites, who think Anwar got what he deserved, and Pakistanis, who think he was targeted because of his race. Nas confesses to her mother that she was behind the attack and Kaneez is livid. Nas knows the stories about racist, anti-Muslim violence and should know better to incite it for her own ends. Nas offers a meek defense: for her, it was never about race.

“It is always, ALWAYS about race!” Kaneez shouts. “You should know that. You should bloody know that!”

Nasreen Paracha is a queer Muslim teenager growing up in a fictional British township. Her reality (however imagined) is so far away from my own. And yet, as I watched her mother chastise her for not remembering the realities of the world in which she lives, the words thump against my chest… and I’m reminded of the first time I’d had a similar confrontation with my father. I’d forgotten the world in which I lived and my father chastised me for my capriciousness. It is always, ALWAYS about race! Hearing Kaneez echo my father reminded me of the power of representation, not just to reflect our identities back to ourselves, but to shine a light on our shared experiences.

That said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t note the improbability of Nasreen Paracha’s existence on television. The depiction of Muslims on television remains exceedingly rare and queer Muslim characters are even rarer still. To have a young queer Muslim woman as, essentially, the lead character in an ensemble show… that’s groundbreaking… and with the third series of Ackley Bridge ending with Nas leaving for Oxford, who knows when we’ll ever have it again.

Tegan Price, How to Get Away with Murder

One day, after the final chapter of How to Get Away with Murder is written, I hope someone asks Amirah Vann or Pete Nowalk how long they intended Tegan Price to be a character on the show. When Tegan Price first emerged at Caplan & Gold as Michaela’s mentor in Season Four, I only expected that she’d last a season. I expected that she, like so many recurring characters before her, would push the story forward and then exit, so I tried not to get too attached. But Amirah Vann has this way about her — if you’ve seen her performance as Ernestine in WGN’s Underground, you know — of imbuing her characters, however slight their role, with so much heart that not getting attached becomes an impossibility.

It’s been remarkable to watch HTGAWM give Tegan’s character so much more depth this season and to watch how they juxtapose her story with Annalise’s. Women, and women of color in particular, rarely get the opportunity to be celebrated for their ambition but Tegan has owned hers from the day that we met her. She wants to change the world and saw rising at C&G as an opportunity to amass the power to make that change happen. Even as Tegan’s actions give us cause to doubt her sincerity — I need April to hurry up and get here so I can find out how she’s connected to Laurel and Christopher’s disappearance — her heartbreak over losing Cora and her genuine affection for Annalise ground her character and make her someone we want to cheer for.

Petra Solano, Jane the Virgin

When we met Jane Gloriana Villanueva the first time, her passions included her family, God, grilled cheese sandwiches and writing…. and then, 99 episodes later, when we say goodbye to Jane Gloriana Villanueva for the last time, her passions included her family, God, grilled cheese sandwiches, writing and Rafael Solano. Things have happened, lives have shifted, but, essentially, the Jane that we meet at the beginning of Jane the Virgin and the Jane that we meet at the end aren’t that different from each other. Petra Solano though? The Petra Solano that ends JTV, with her girlfriend clinging to her side and her twin daughters smiling brightly nearby? She couldn’t be any more different that the Petra Solano we first met.

As I mentioned back in August, Petra is who she is in Season One because her mother made her that way. Magda taught her the way of the grift and that all relationships, including the one between mother and child, were transactional.

“I’ve had to lie my whole life and manipulate, and cheat, just to survive my crazy mother, and my psychotic sister, and my violent ex-husband. And, yes, those things made me who I am,” Petra admits to Jane “JR” Ramos early in Season Five. “But I can tell you this: I have changed a lot… and I’m going to change more.”

The impetus behind all that change? The other Jane. It wasn’t until she fell in with the Villanuevas that Petra has a model for what healthy relationships — between friends, between mother and child, between family — look like. Once she develops trust in those relationships, she’s able to believe in real love… and that’s when she finds JR.

Sorry, Rose, but the character development that turned an ice queen to a warm and loving mother and girlfriend might be the greatest love story Jane the Virgin ever told.

Valerie Anne

Nia Nal, Supergirl

Alex Danvers has long since been a go-to on my year-end list of favorites, but this year Nia eked out a win in my books. I will always love Alex, but Dreamer has been such a refreshing gift to the past two seasons of Supergirl. I love that being trans is an important part of her story, and I love that the show draws clear parallels between Nia and Season One Kara: a little green but not without life experience, excited about everything, endlessly hopeful. Nia is the hero we needed, and I hope they let her suit up again soon.

Jenna Faith Hope, Impulse

I’ve already written so much about why Jenna is so important to me and I could write so much more. The writing and direction and acting all handle Jenna’s queerness with such subtlety and care and I’ve never trusted a show to get a queer teenager right the way I trust this show. It was one of the most realistic coming out arcs I’ve ever seen, from the early clues to avoiding the truth to the inevitability. The acceptance and betrayal and fear and joy are all wrapped up in this adorable bundle of a girl, a reluctant but loyal sister, a recovering perfectionist, a girl who is in pain but trying her best. Jenna is another character I wish I had as a teenager, and one who is retroactively healing a lot of old wounds.

Elena Alvarez, One Day At A Time

Elena Alvarez will forever be one of my favorite characters because she is exactly who my teenage self needed to see on TV so I know she’s helping so many others just by being her gay, nerdy, joyful self.

Emily Dickinson, Dickinson

Dickinson was my favorite show this year. I watched it all in one weekend and wanted to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a year when it was over. Emily represented all the most dramatic parts of me and I loved her for it. She is emotional and introspective in some of the same ways I am, wild and impulsive in a way I wish I were, defiant and radical in a way I’m learning to be. I don’t always love a period piece but the mix of modern and historical in this imagining of Emily Dickinson’s life was delicious and fun, it was funny and heavy and relevant. And it was so, so gay. Emily was exactly the best friend loving, poetry writing, death obsessed, patriarchy smashing character I needed to close out my 2019.

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTERS

Heather Hogan

Karen Walker, Will & Grace

When Will & Grace brought Samira Wiley on to be Karen Walker’s love interest, I was like, “Finally! It’s taken two decades but at last they’re going to stop playing Karen’s bisexuality as a joke that was already tired in the ’90s!” Actually, it was the opposite thing. Karen and Samira Wiley met, hit it off, dated, grew closer, planned to attend Jack’s destination wedding together — and then, in the airport, the show pulled a reverse “Puppy Episode” and had Karen announce her straightness over the airport loudspeaker. I hate throwing the word “erasure” around because it dilutes it beyond recognition, but this was some of the stupidest and most disrespectful bisexual erasure I’ve ever seen. And why? What was even the point of it?

Claire Duncan, Tales of the City

Claire was the most confusing part of Tales of the City to me. On the one hand, I get that Netflix’s reboot was leaning into the wacky pulpy twisty weirdness of the original, but on the other hand, I still have no idea what Claire was supposed to be to viewers or to Ellen Page’s character. She was like a spoiled and bratty documentary filmmaker blackmailing a trans woman to expose San Francisco’s gentrification issues? And she had an actual connection with Shawna? Or… no? She was using Shawna to get to Anna to do the blackmail? And Shawna, who couldn’t trust due to being abandoned as a child, did take a chance and trust Claire — and the lesson she learned was: your instincts are correct, never trust anyone? It’s all very bizarre and incomprehensible, and not in the good way I was consistently confused by the zany hijinks of the first few season of Pretty Little Liars.

Natalie

Anissa Pierce and Grace Choi, Black Lightning

Writing these posts is always difficult, in part because as a community, we’re still grappling with what it means to be invested in qualitative representation instead of just quantitative representation. Also, because, given the nature of TV, it’s hard to disassociate these critiques from the actors themselves, despite the fact that the critique almost never about them. But just so there’s absolutely no confusion about my intention here: this post is not about Nafessa Williams or Chantal Thuy.

Williams and Thuy have sustained the #ThunderGrace fandom on the backs of their natural charisma and chemistry. I cannot imagine two other actresses having done so much when given so little. But Black Lightning is failing Anissa, it’s failing Grace, it’s failing its fans…and the responsibility for that falls squarely on the shoulders of its writing team.

I have given this show a pass for its shortcomings. I have watched as the female villains wither and die while the men — Gambi, Lala, Tobias, Khalil, O’Dell — come back, over and over and over again. I’ve watched as the show devoted episode after episode to telling the story of Jennifer clinging to her abusive boyfriend and as the show tried to convince me that abuse was romantic. I kept watching even as Grace and Anissa went weeks without scenes together. We’ll endure so much for the sake of representation…so even as the writers minimized and marginalized the show’s queer story, I kept watching. I kept watching because I wanted so much to see myself as super. I wanted so much to see us as celebrated heroes. I wanted to see us as bulletproof.

But this season, I finally reached my breaking point: In Chapter 4 (“Lynn’s Ouroboros”), Anissa’s dad, Jefferson, stops by her new loft and is surprised to discover Grace — who, apparently, he never even knew existed — there. Anissa slinks downstairs in her armor and we come to the realization at the same time as Jefferson: Anissa’s superpowers aren’t a secret from Grace. As with most of their relationship, the conversation where Anissa reveals her powers and that she moonlights as Thunder/Black Bird happens off-screen. We never got to see it.

It’s hard to overstate the significance of that conversation…how meaningful it would have been to Grace, who has had trouble harnessing her own powers, to know she had someone who understood her struggle or how meaningful it would have been for Anissa, who’s struggled with emotional vulnerability, to reveal this personal thing about herself. We missed the chance to see Grace’s face light up at the realization that she’s dating a superhero. We missed the chance to hear Anissa tell the only coming out story that’s ever been important on Black Lightning. No conversation between those two characters was more important than this one and we never got to see it. It is an inexcusable and infuriating omission…and it’s impossible to see its omission as anything other than homophobia manifested.

Anissa Pierce isn’t the lone lesbian superhero on the CW anymore. While I reject any effort to erase Anissa Pierce’s claim to the title of “first lesbian superhero,” as I take in Batwoman on Sunday nights and Black Lightning on Mondays, I wonder if we’re seeing, before our eyes, the difference between qualitative and quantitative representation…or, to put it more simply: the difference between acceptance and tolerance.

Cruz, Vida

Midway through Vida‘s first season, Emma happens upon her ex-girlfriend, Cruz, in a bar. There’s a playful flirtation between them…from the adorable way Emma trips over her words when they first reconnect to the sensual way their bodies meld together on the dance floor…but then the ground shifts beneath them. With one simple provocation — See? Things aren’t so bad around here — Emma’s truth spills out. The revelations are a defining moment of the series for Emma but they’re also a gamechanger for Cruz. For years, she’s lived with the belief that Emma was running — from her, from them, from this place — but none of it was true and from that moment on, everything changes.

Later, all Emma wants to do is fuck the pain away and, for a while at least, Cruz allows it. But, in that moment, all Cruz wants to do is show her that they’re more than just an aggressive fuck…that, through distance and time, their love survived Vidalia’s internalized homophobia. After being denied all night, their lips finally connect and Cruz pours every bit of love and comfort into their kiss. And while the story rightly focuses on Emma — who is so overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment, she has a panic attack — one thing is undeniable: Cruz intends to be part of that story.

It is hard to reconcile that version of Cruz — that indelible impression — with the Cruz we meet in Season Two.

The Cruz that wanted to shelter and comfort is gone, replaced with a Cruz who doesn’t protect her now girlfriend from the withering onslaught of judgment from her friends. The Cruz that saw Emma break in front of her, as she recounted being sent away from home twice for the sin of being her mother’s child in ways her mother desperately wanted to ignore, wouldn’t weaponize that knowledge against Emma, but Season Two Cruz does. The Cruz we met in Season One provoked, intentionally, but never cruelly, and yet, in Season Two, Cruz says, “Emma, you are the classic cautionary tale of why moms need to hug their children.” When the words come out of Cruz’s mouth, I was convinced of two things: 1. Emma and Cruz are over…Cruz has crossed the one line that you absolutely cannot cross with Emma and there’s no going back now; and 2. Season One’s Cruz would never have said that.

Still, all these months later, I don’t know why she had to.

Eve Rothlo, How to Get Away With Murder

I said what I said.

Drew

Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place

Okay, okay, OKAY. Let me explain. I love Eleanor. I really do. But I do not like her as a queer character. Bisexual characters obviously do not have to be romantic or sexual with more than one gender on-screen. Like in life there isn’t a behavior requirement to be bisexual. But that doesn’t mean an occasional punchline makes for a well-rounded queer character. There’s a difference between having a person’s sexuality not define them and all but ignoring that sexuality. We’ve seen Eleanor go through a lot of life – and a lot of lives – and I find it frustrating as the show winds down (beautifully I must add) that throwaway jokes about Tahani being hot are still all we’ve received. I don’t mind if more and more TV characters are lowkey sexually fluid, but I’m tired of attempts to celebrate Eleanor as a queer character or celebrate The Good Place writers for being so progressive that they ignore Eleanor’s bisexuality almost completely. It’s the one thing they shouldn’t be celebrated for as far as I’m concerned.

Clare, Derry Girls

The first season of Derry Girls ended with a really wonderful coming out episode for Clare. It seemed to promise new depth to her character – and new queerness for the show. But the second season was pretty much devoid of both. Clare doesn’t need to share Michelle’s confident horniness or Erin’s awkward horniness, but when Clare’s lesbianism is treated as a mere label, it feels frustrating in contrast with her friends’ teenage love lives. The new season brought a hot new teacher and a hot new student and neither storyline even addressed Clare’s possible attraction.

It just feels like show creator Lisa McGee doesn’t really know what to do with an out character. Like with The Good Place, de-centering Clare’s queerness doesn’t feel radical – it feels safe. Placing these two characters side-by-side demonstrates that it’s not a matter of sex drive. Eleanor is consumed with horniness, whereas Clare doesn’t seem to think about sex at all. And yet in both shows the characters aren’t seen acting on their queerness. Which is fine! The writers can tell the stories they want to tell. But as more and more television includes queer people, I think it’s worth considering what we do and don’t define as queer television and what we deem worth watching specifically for its queer content. Having one out of five characters be queer should be the bare minimum. And if you don’t center that person’s queerness I’m going to lose interest.

Valerie Anne

Dex, Stumptown

The Stumptown pilot was one of the best pilots I’ve ever seen, but the show has been slowly losing me as each episode goes on. Dex barely ever interacts with other women, and sure the one she did talk to the most was her ex-girlfriend, but I still had hoped there would he more women on the show, and maybe even some men Dex HASN’T slept with. But somehow the show has turned into being about Dex’s dating history/present instead of her badassery and I am bummed about it.

Jade, Why Women Kill

I…I guess I just thought this show was going to be about why women kill men. Jade came on screen and I was like, “Jade and Taylor are gonna team up and kill their boyfriend.” But instead they went ahead and decided to score a hat trick of harmful tropes before the show’s end.

Nora West-Allen, The Flash

I was SO EXCITED when it was revealed that Nora was queer, especially since Jessica Parker Kennedy played one of my favorite queer characters of all time (Max on Black Sails) but alas, it was mentioned then forgotten. Not that I needed her to be in a relationship, because that’s obviously not what defines your queerness, but they could have at least worked it into the conversation one way or another. At least one other time. Anything. And then her last episode in 2019 had her entirely erased from the timeline. Which is a metaphor for what the show does to its queer women if I’ve ever seen one.

Carmen

Anissa Pierce and Grace Choi, Black Lightning

It’s ironic that I’ve written more about Anissa Piece and Grace Choi than any other couple I’ve covered for this website. Ironic because when Black Lightning first began, I had never been more excited for a black lesbian superhero and now I groan to complete my weekly requirements. Ironic because Black Lightning is actually, when it wants to be, a truly exceptional show, but it’s decided in the last year that writing cohesive storylines — especially for its queer characters — is apparently just too much work. There is no reason why Anissa’s love life shouldn’t have been given the same on-camera, seasons long, full treatment that’s been given to her straight little sister and her parents. I made excuses for far too long, I think we all did, really. We wanted to believe in the power of a bulletproof black lesbian superhero. We wanted to believe in a shapeshifting bisexual Asian tough-as-nails badass with a tough past. We were right to believe. They deserved our faith in their love. Even when the writers of Black Lightning showed over (and over!) again that they weren’t willing to do the same.

This year, Heather and I made the difficult decision to move Black Lightning from full recaps to our weekly Boobs on Your Tube television roundups on Friday. A lot of factors went into that decision that aren’t just about the romantic pairing on screen, but it’s also true that I no longer wanted to reward minimal effort and bad behavior. Nafessa Williams and Chantal Thuy are kinetic together; they’ve found such depth and caring in Anissa and Grace, despite being only given the scraps of the table to work with. My point is — they shouldn’t have been given only the scraps to begin with. We should demand more. And from now on, we will.

Eve Rothlo, How to Get Away With Murder

There’s a narrative structure to storytelling. Yes, writing is an art form, but there’s also basic building blocks that are mechanical. Stories have a beginning, they crescendo across an arc, and then they end. I know I sound incredibly basic, but please follow me for a moment — Even Rothlo came back into Annalise Keating’s life at the start of How To Get Away With Murder’s second season (the beginning); through both flashbacks and their “present time” relationship we learned that Eve and Annalise were lovers in law school and that Annalise had broken Eve’s heart, but they were never fully over each other (the story arc); and then Annalise let Eve go to follow her new life and love in San Francisco (the end). I always believed we might see Eve on last time before the show was over, that she might be Annalise’s final love — her “end game” of sorts. Still, this story had found a satisfying conclusion on its own. Basic building blocks.

So why did Pete Nowalk decide to undo all his own writing and bring Eve back for a “special episode” in which her only purpose was to be intimately cruel to Annalise (which was never Eve’s personality to begin with) and then have her disappear into the night once again — leaving Annalise with just tattered pieces of her soul to deal with? I have no earthly clue. For a while I thought Eve’s coming back was a stepping stone in allowing Annalise to find new love with Tegan Price, but that doesn’t seem to be happening either. As much as I’d love for a romantic flame to blossom between Tegan and Annalise, I’ve also come to respect them as platonic queer friends, which we rarely get to see on television. Still, the question remains, if Annalise and Tegan aren’t getting together, and if Eve isn’t coming back in some grand romantic gesture, why did Pete Nowalk re-open this wound at all? Why pour salt somewhere that was already stitched? It was a confusing and bad story choice, point blank.

Tamia “Coop” Cooper, All American

I don’t know what happened in All American’s writing room between Seasons One and Two, but the sidelining of Coop from being a central character of the series, rivaling on co-lead, to a nearly D List background player is absolutely egregious and appalling. I don’t have anything else to add — it’s wrong by any definition and the show should be working overtime to fix it.

Our Luggage: A Non-Binary Ode to The Good Place’s Janet

feature image via NBC

This piece contains spoilers for all four seasons of The Good Place, so if you haven’t seen it all yet (and I recommend you do), go watch that and come back. I promise this piece will be right here, waiting for you.

I get misgendered a lot. Everywhere except in the places where everyone knows me already. Ma’am, ladies, she and her — it cocoons me in a linguistic invisibility familiar to many who are often sorted into the incorrect buckets, crammed into molds that don’t fit their own self-concept in myriad tiny ways until we walk back into our houses feeling very cramped and tired from all that contortion. Feeling like strange paper dolls dressed by other people’s expectations or weird ghosts haunting the a random store or coffee shop or library waving our hand in front of this poor person who is only trying to do her job saying, silently and ethereally, ladies? Really? How do you figure that? I don’t understand that at all. In the moment after my face makes a strange expression, as though I have been surprise-fed a lemon warhead straight out of 1999, I sometimes whisper a few lines under my breath. Depending on how ornery I am that day or how many times it’s happened, I might even say it loudly. Not a girl, and then I crack a smile. I’m luggage. Two thumbs up.

In these thousand tiny moments when I am looking for a small way to heal the pin-prick such that I might take a thousand more inevitable pin-pricks, I am of course quoting The Good Place, which is a sitcom on NBC that is currently in its fourth and final season. Janet, played by D’Arcy Carden, is described in the first episode as the “informational assistant,” a “walking-database.” She is all-knowing, can make anything, can answer any question except anything to do with the Bad Place. It’s the break out role on the show — Janet can create entire human beings and learn more and more emotional depth and range with each instance of being rebooted (which happens quite a bit). She lives in a void and pops in and out of existence. She wears a skirt and an ascot and there’s probably an entire other piece of cultural critique about the conflation of femininity and servitude.

Janet is also continuously and profoundly misunderstood. She’s called a “front desk lady,” a “magical slave robot.” And she is often called a girl. Calmly and with a smile, Janet often corrects those around her. “Not a girl,” “not a robot,” “not a person.” In season two, episode ten, she does offer two thumbs up and the phrase “I’m luggage!” to explain that she counts as a carry-on when it comes to traveling through a portal to the neutral zone. Thus the character of Janet lent me a minuscule-but-fun way to defuse, respond, chuckle my way through a constant annoyance. If The Good Place had given me only this, it would still have given me more relating to my gender than most other television shows.

In season four, however, The Good Place gave me even more than that. In episode four, the most recent episode to have aired at the time of this writing, it’s revealed that the group of humans, fighting to prove that people can still grow and change in the afterlife and therefore the system of “Good Place and “Bad Place” should be abolished, have a traitor in their midst. Everyone mistrusts Michael because he’d recently lied. Also, he’s a known demon. That too. Jason (Janet’s sometimes-boyfriend), realizes that their Janet has been kidnapped and replaced with a Bad Janet when she doesn’t correct his misgendering. I caught it right away. I chalked it up to bad writing, to a fundamental misunderstanding of Janet, because I am having a bad, cynical day.

“If you ever want to talk,” he says, “just know that I’m here for you, girl.” She simply smiles and says “Thanks, Jason.” Later, as Michael is about to blow himself up to make sure the experiment continues in the most uncontaminated way possible because the group no longer trusts him, Jason leaps into frame and handcuffs Janet with a pair of feathered pink sex handcuffs. Because the cuffs are made for incapacitating inter-dimensional beings, Bad Janet is immediately revealed.

Jason is a character known almost entirely for his lack of intelligence. When asked how he knew Janet had been kidnapped and replaced, he answers, “Michael said there’s nothing he could say that would make you realize he’s really him, but Janet does have a thing she can say that does make me realize she is really not her… I called Janet ‘girl,’ but she didn’t say ‘not a girl.’ The real Janet always says, ‘not a girl.’”

That Janet is recognized and seen by her closest friends as her true self would have been enough to send tears rolling down my cheeks. That not correcting someone when they fundamentally misunderstand your whole jam is coded as “bad” while a friendly, firm and sometimes frustrated assertion of one’s own identity is coded as — well, not good exactly. Janet isn’t a Good Janet anymore. Jason calls her Real Janet. She’s been through too much ambiguity to be, simply, a Good Janet. Rather she is Complicated Janet. Humanity’s Champion Janet. Janet beyond the binary. That this the moral framework for responding to misgendering on a mainstream television show made my breath catch in my throat. And when Jason, for the first time, corrects someone else for Janet in her absence (the closing lines of the episode are “Not a girl”), I was sobbing with my mouth open. I love Janet. I fucking love Janet and everything the writers are doing with her, in this and all seasons of The Good Place.

My absolute love for Janet doesn’t encompass the wholeness of my feelings about non-binary representation in pop culture, however. Often when we see characters experience a queerness of gender, there’s a “reason” for it. For instance, they’re an all-knowing informational portal able to both describe and embody everything in the known universe. What use for gender would such a being have? Or they’re animal or beast — outside of a human context, what would a rigid gender binary even look like? How would it be enforced? Or they’re ageless, or a shapeshifter — a dragon ruling a desert kingdom for a thousand years in an androgynous human form. Who would care? In any of those circumstances, gender makes no sense and so it is used as the narrative scaffolding, an excuse, to show us genderless and genderful representation. I often long for characters who fall somewhere outside the gender binary simply because they do. They are gloriously, blessedly human and still defy the contextual categories of the society that has raised them. Such characters are few and far between.

And yet, and yet. Is it truly only me who identifies with these alien characters? Who wails in their therapist’s office, “How fucking different from everyone else do I have to be, exactly?” while knowing it’s a shitty, problematic way to feel about anyone, especially myself? Who sometimes feels that the experience outside of a binary gender with no maps or clues to speak of gives me more in common with a strange Janet who has to iterate her way forward, hands out in front of her, feeling her way into what it means to be human, than with any other character on the show? It is a cycle — drawn to othered characters, simultaneously othered because most cultural mirrors represent “not a girl” as “not a person,” drawn to othered characters again.

I imagine I am not the only such person. This is an ode to Janet and to everyone who feels like Janet sometimes, and everyone who wishes for representation beyond Janet. Like so much of storytelling and art-making, it is not neat. It is not pretty. Flawed and human, it is our luggage, something we will spend a lifetime unpacking.

The greatest show ever made about friends making it as family in New York City, don’t @ me. You’ll sit down to watch one episode and be so instantly transported back to the ’90s you’ll emerge from a contented haze hours later.

Stream on: Hulu

Derry Girls

Please, I am begging you, just watch this show.

Stream on: Netflix

The 25 Best TV Shows Of 2018 With LGBT Women Characters

‘Tis the season for various media outlets to reveal their list of the 10-40 Best TV Shows of the year, and this year we decided to get in on that. With a caveat, of course — to us, no matter how critically acclaimed any given show is, we cannot personally crown it “the best” unless our specific interests (read: queer women) are included within it. I’m sorry that’s just who and how we are!

To prepare for this undertaking, I looked at 18 Best TV of 2018 lists across mainstream media, both high-brow and middle-brow: The Decider, The New York Times, Paste, Vulture, Vanity Fair, The Guardian, Entertainment Weekly, USA Today, The New Yorker, TV Guide, AFI, Complex, The AV Club, Verge, The AP, Variety, Slate, The Daily Beast and The Atlantic. On the list below, you’ll see in parentheses a number: that number represents the number of other Best-Of lists the show appeared on.

Last year I documented what felt like — finally— a shift wherein regular and recurring queer women characters were just as likely to show up at the forefront of prestige television as they were in our previous homes of “soapy teen dramas,” sci-fi/supernatural epics and very small parts in aforementioned prestige television. This year that trend has continued mightily. Three shows that turned up on pretty much every Best-Of list — The Good Place, Killing Eve and Pose — had queer or trans leads. Frequent inclusions on those Best-Of Lists that did not include queer women were exactly what you’d expect: The Americans, Homecoming, Atlanta, Better Call Saul, Lodge 49, Barry, Bojack Horseman (which did have one lesbian-themed episode but that didn’t feel like enough to warrant inclusion on this list, I’m sure you will @ me re: this) and Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. Most baffling to us all was that Lifetime’s You showed up on SEVEN Best-Of Lists, despite being insufferable and killing its only queer woman character. It’s not on this list.

This list is not, then, our favorite shows of the year, or the shows that brought us the most joy or the best representation. We’re doing a lot of lists this year about teevee, and most of them are our Favorites, not “The Best.” This list are the shows that have regular or recurring queer women characters and that I personally believe were, objectively, the best. The opinions of other critics weighed heavily into these rankings, and only in a few cases did I pick a show that wasn’t on any other Best-Of lists.

I look forward to witnessing your disagreements and agreements in the comments! Also I know there’s 27 shows here but 25 seemed like a better headline.

28. Marvel’s Runaways Seasons One & Two (0)

“Marvel’s Runaways” Hasn’t Achieved Its Full Gay Potential Yet, but It’s Already a Thrilling Ride

The timing couldn’t be better for this lovely comic book adaptation about a group of fierce, supernaturally talented teenagers challenging the abhorrent compromises their parents made, supposedly in their best interest, for a “better world,” at the expense of, you know — human lives, wealth inequality, and our planet. Plus, Virginia Gardner literally shines as Karolina Dean, a human-alien hybrid initially hiding her superpowers and her lesbianism ’til coming out near the end of Season One. Her revelation is refreshingly well received by her crush, cynical goth Nico Minoru, in what feels like a fairly honest depiction of Generation Y’s alleged tendency towards nonchalant sexual fluidity. Season Two sees the lesbian couple trying to make it work amid pretty challenging circumstances. Despite an enormous ensemble — six children and ten parents for each — Runaways has mostly succeeded in making each of them count. At times it fumbles, having bit off more than it can chew thematically and w/r/t sheer population, but it still manages to combine the easy joy of a teen drama with the satisfying anxiety of suspenseful sci-fi. — Riese Bernard

27. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season Two (7)

Undoubtedly the most cheerful show on the list and a bona-fide critical darling, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is hawkishly agreeable, floating through its second season on unmistakable charm, its trademark breakneck quip-laden dialogue, and a generous budget devoted to picturesque sets and locations that leave no affluent late-’50s stone unturned. Then there’s Mrs. Maisel herself, a plucky heroine who occasionally does wrong but when she does, it’s always very cute, and often laugh-out-loud funny. It’s frustrating that Susie’s lesbianism remains bafflingly unspoken, especially when Mrs. Maisel’s primary flaw continues to be its chronically low stakes, like a cake inside another cake inside another cake slathered in buttercream frosting. I do love cake, though! Regardless — Susie deserves a sexuality. I hope in Season Three she finally gets it. — Riese Bernard

26. Sally4Ever Season One (2)

HBO’s “Sally4Ever” Is Hilarious, Horrifying, Tries to Make Lesbian Toeing Happen

Earning points for sheer pugnacity, Sally4Ever, described by The Guardian as “a lurid lesbian sitcom,” is a disgusting, often offensive and downright bizarre comedy about an absurdly passive middle-aged woman, Sally, who leaves her droll underachieving partner for a wildly manipulative narcissistic lesbian musician / actress she first sees on the Underground. Julie Davis’s Emma is a madcap creation only Julie Davis’s mind could’ve created. Sally4Ever is one of four reminders on this list that you can always rely on British television to wallow in discomfort and failure in a way optimistic American TV is rarely willing to do. — Riese Bernard

25. Legends of Tomorrow Seasons Three & Four (2)

How “Legends of Tomorrow” Became One of the Best Queer Shows on TV

Legends of Tomorrow is one of the weirdest shows on television. With everything from Julius Caesar on the loose in Aruba to a stuffed animal worshipped as a god of war, you truly never know what’s going to happen next. On paper, it seems like the writers play mad libs with storylines, picking random nouns and locations out of hats and running with it. The most dramatic lines of dialogue are, simply put, absurd. But in 2018 this goofy-ass show has blossomed into something truly spectacular, as bisexual badass Sara Lance became, in the words of Zari, “not just the captain of the ship, but its soul.” It was still everything we love about the show – the misfit camaraderie, the wacky storylines, the outfits, the heart – but turned up to eleven. Sara also got her first post-Arrow longterm relationship with another woman. Their love story was fraught, sweet, sexy, complicated — and oh so rewarding. Best of all, it’s still going strong. — Valerie Anne

24. Everything Sucks! Season One (1)

Everything Sucks! is a Bangin’ TV Show With a Sweet Lesbian Lead

Sure, everything sucks, but something that specifically sucks is that this show only got one tiny season to breathe. Sweet and nostalgic, Everything Sucks! made the noteworthy choice of placing a lesbian character front and center of a tender coming-of-age dramedy set in Boring, Oregon. Amid pitch-perfect references to Frutopia, “Wonderwall” and the Columbia House Music Club, we have two girls on separate journeys towards queer revelations (and each other) and in this story, the pre-teen boys in their crew aren’t the main event. Considering all that, I suppose, perhaps it’s not so surprising it got cancelled.— Riese Bernard

23. Forever Season One (3)

Maya Rudolph’s Forever is Finally Here and Quietly Queer

Every critic on earth adored Forever, partly because of the show’s unique and brilliantly executed concept, but mostly because of Maya Rudolph’s stunning and triumphant return to TV. What made Forever even rarer than those two things was the central conflict for Rudolph’s character, June, who experienced a middle-aged queer awakening at the hands of an enigmatic, furious, and sometimes even unlikable(!!) Kase, played by Catherine Keener. It does seem like maybe some vital character development for Kase was left on the cutting room floor in an effort to make sure the audience didn’t root too hard for her relationship with June — but what remained was still breathtaking and frankly revolutionary. — Heather Hogan

22. Counterpart Season One (3)

After years of lurking in the Showtime/HBO shadows, Starz has emerged over the past few years to, intentionally or not, feature queer women characters in nearly all of their original programming. And what original programming it has been! A lot of the well-deserved praise for this taut, suspenseful, dystopian spy thriller has gone to J.K. Simmons for his riveting performance as two versions of the same man, one in each of the show’s two parallel worlds. But the reason I tuned in was for one of the year’s few masculine-of-center lesbian regulars: Baldwin, a trained assassin never given the chance to develop a true emotional life or any dreams of her own, a fact laid bare when she’s forced to watch her counterpart, an accomplished classical violinist, die in an alternate dimension. She struggles with her sexual and emotional connection to a sleeper agent and an unexpected romance with a waitress, as brooding butches are wont to do, but we never struggle with our affection for this unique point of connection in a really good story.— Riese Bernard

21. Adventure Time Season 10 (1)

Princess Bubblegum and Marceline Smooch On-Screen, Live Happily Ever After in the “Adventure Time” Series Finale

Adventure Time is easily the most influential show in Cartoon Network’s history; echoes of its style and themes reverberate far beyond kids TV. And really Adventure Time never was kids TV. Yeah, it was animated and as silly as bing bong ping pong. But as it evolved, it became as philosophical weighty and psychologically curious as Battlestar Galactica. Fans of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline enjoyed growing canonical support of their favorite couple over the seasons, both on-screen and in spin-off comic books — but they’d never actually confirmed their relationship physically until the series finale when Bonnie got womped in the dome piece and almost croaked and Marceline rushed to her and caressed her and professed her love and they smooched right on the mouths. — Heather Hogan

20. The Handmaid’s Tale Season Two (4)

“The Handmaid’s Tale” Season Two Gets Even Darker, Queerer, Curiouser and Curiouser

Season Two of Handmaid’s Tale was darker than Season One, which’s saying a lot. I mean we opened with a fake-out mass-hanging and before long Offred was basically slicing off a chunk of her own ear, then staring at the camera while we watched her bleed. And there would be so much more blood where that came from! But damn, the artistry of this brutal show and its magnificent cast, capable of communicating entire worlds without a single spoken line. The season’s most unspoken message, though, was this: pay attention. Look up. Don’t wait for them to come for you. Clea Duvall and Cherry Jones graced us with winning cameos and lesbian characters Moira (Samira Wiley) and Emily (Alexis Bledel) took greater prominence. So did Gilead’s persecution of lesbians in a specific dystopia designed by religious fundamentalists who are obsessed with traditional gender roles and able to rationalize their actions in the wake of a fertility crisis. It’s not a pleasant world to witness, yet it remains a seductive watch. Every moment of dark humor is hard-won, like, I suppose, freedom itself.— Riese Bernard

19. The End of the F*cking World Season One (5)

I Demand a Lesbian Cop-Show Spin-off of The End of the F*cking World

Sure, we could watch fresh-faced teen dreams fall in love in the lemon-scented hallways of suburban California high schools, or we could watch … whatever this was? A 17-year-old self-diagnosed psychopath who loves knives goes on a traveling caper with the only girl in town who’s sad, alienated and nihilistic enough to wanna run away with him. Hot on their tail are two lesbian detectives who had a thing once and definitely deserve their own show. — Riese Bernard

18. Dear White People Season Two (4)

In this current television landscape, binges come and go. A television show drops on streaming, you watch it, maybe even obsess for a spell, and then it fades to the recesses of your memory to make room for whatever trendy new show is coming next. In those dips and waves, sometimes something really special falls through the cracks. I say that because there’s a chance that you didn’t watch Dear White People last year and that’s a mistake.

The first season of Dear White People was regrettably uneven, particularly in regards to its lesbian representation, but the second season aired this year and came back stronger, more focused, and razor-sharp! It’s a stylized and poignant exploration of being a black student at a predominantly white university that is as smart (if not smarter) than almost any other comedy I watched last year. The weekend of its drop, I finished all 13 episodes in two days. The next weekend, I watched it again. I couldn’t shake how insightful it was, how bright, how one-of-a-kind. You can watch the second season with no knowledge of the first and follow along easily. As a bonus, it comes with the bittersweet gift of two smaller, but significantly better executed black lesbian plots. One of those plots stars Lena Waithe. It also features Tessa Thompson as a parodied take on a Stacey Dash’s “black republican television pundit” figure. Her character plays out over a series of cameos, but as far as I’m concerned her final scene is worth the entire season by itself. — Carmen Phillips

17. Steven Universe Season Five (2)

“Steven Universe” Makes History, Mends Hearts in a Perfect Lesbian Wedding Episode

Steven Universe continues to explore more adult themes more fully than nearly every non-animated show on TV: family, grief, depression, commitment, betrayal, duplicitousness, forgiveness, puberty, gender, gender presentation, sexuality — and it does so in a way that’s warm and engaging and funny and, most of all, hopeful. This season, Rebecca Sugar’s beloved non-binary lesbian gems, Ruby and Sapphire, broke more ground by becoming the first same-sex couple to get married on all-ages TV. Their wedding featured masc gems in dresses, femme gems in tuxes, kisses right on the mouth, and swoon-worthy proclamations of eternal love. Also, of course, ass-kicking. Steven Universe remains one of the best shows on television, full stop. — Heather Hogan

16. Black Lightning Seasons One & Two (0)

Recaps of Season One & Two of Black Lightning

The CW has delivered a very entertaining batch of fresh-faced white superheroes determined to battle off some wacky Big Bads, but Black Lightning really elevates the genre and takes notable risks. The story is rooted halfway in this world, too, spotlighting a family wrought together over love and a deep commitment to their community and social justice, while divided on how best to manifest that commitment. Annissa Pierce, aka Thunder, became network television’s first out lesbian superhero when she debuted in early 2018. “I’ve said before that bullet proof black people is my favorite superhero trope,” Carmen wrote in a Season One recap, “but there is also something so sweet about a television lesbian who can’t be shot.” We hope to see more in future episodes of her girlfriend Grace, played by Chantal Thuy. Don’t sleep on Black Lightning. Wherever it’s going, you’ll want to be on board.— Riese Bernard

15. The Bisexual Season One (2)

Hulu’s “The Bisexual” Is Here to Make Every Queer a Little Uncomfortable

This has been such a great year for queer weirdos with their fingers acutely upon their own pulses. In between impeccable L Word references and fetching fashion choices, The Bisexual is an uncompromising journey of sexual discovery, jump-started when Leila breaks up with her much older girlfriend (and business partner) Sadie. Akhvan’s world feels undeniably authentic — she points out that “it’s the only show on TV where you can watch two Middle Eastern women in a car, talking, taking up the screen with their different bodies and different ethnicities.” Fumbling and unafraid of its own potential, The Bisexual also portrays a multi-generational, diverse network of queer and often gender-non-conforming women in London’s East End in all its messy, self-reflexive glory. — Riese Bernard

13. The Good Fight Season Two (9)

The Good Fight lives in that very special sweet spot that I like to call organized chaos, almost ballet-like in its sweeping rhythm. It is very much a playground for Christine Baranski and Cush Jumbo to do their impeccable work. But it also, better than any other show, captures the collective meltdown that has become a ceaseless hum in Tr*mp’s America. It’s sharp, and it’s dark, and it’s still funny and fun, with a very women-driven, diverse cast. And one of its central lawyers, Maia Rindell (Rose Leslie), also happens to be a petite lesbian mired in staggering lesbian drama, and by lesbian drama I mean her girlfriend literally testifies against her in a massive court case that Maia’s parents have her swept up in! Also, in season two we learn that Maia was in love with her tennis instructor as a closeted baby gay, and I have never felt more Seen. — Kayla Kumari

12. Harlots Season Two (0)

Harlots Season Two Is Here, Queer and Transcendent

Harlots might be the year’s most underrated show (Seriously, how does this show earn a nearly perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes but not make it onto anybody’s Best Shows Of the Year list? I endeavor to suggest that the reason is Men). I declared Harlots the most accurate portrayal of indoor-market sex work ever represented onscreen in Season One — surprisingly more resonant to me as a former sex worker than any contemporary portrayals — and its extra queering in Season Two made it moreso and then some. If Season One was about sex work, Season Two is about the reality that what’s done to sex workers is inextricable from what’s done to all women — the lessons about power, violence, solidarity and struggle in stories about sex work are ones that the larger conversation about gender ignores at its peril. — Riese Bernard

11. High Maintenance Season Two (6)

In between High Maintenance‘s first and second season, a lot happened for husband-and-wife co-creators Ben Sinclair and Katja Blichfeld — including Katja coming out as gay, thus ending their marriage. Although the split hadn’t been finalized at the time, Season One ended with the reveal that Sinclair’s “The Guy” marijuana-delivery character lived down the hallway from his ex-wife, who’d left him for another woman. Its Season Two, then, is a long time coming and imbued with a rapturous affection for contemporary queer culture. The characters calling upon “The Guy” negotiate languid lesbian sexual dynamics, LGBT-affirming churches, sexually fluid teens and anti-Trump feminist gatherings attended by well-intentioned, hysterical liberals. Particularly touching was a bittersweet episode that saw “The Guy” visited in the hospital by aforementioned now-lesbian ex-wife. But honestly, with few exceptions every story in this scene is like a nice hybrid edible that makes you giggle, relax, and occasionally feel profound.— Riese Bernard

10. Vida Season One (2)

“Vida” Review: Starz’s New Latinx Drama Is Sexy, Soulful and Super Queer

Tragically overlooked by mainstream critics, one of 2018’s most innovatory offerings sees emotionally estranged sisters, bisexual attorney Emma (Michel Prada) and Lyn (Melissa Barrera), reuniting in their home of Boyle Heights after the death of their mother who, it turns out, was in fact dating her butch lesbian “roommate,” Eddy. Showrunner Tanya Saracho’s writing team is entirely Latinx and mostly queer, and they deftly address the complications of “gente-fication” and the joys of living breathing loving community with all the nuance and authenticity it requires. But perhaps most notable for all of us here was the graphic butch/femme sex scene that opened Episode Three. “It isn’t just about the hot sex — though the sex is very hot — it’s about creating spaces where Latinx queer bodies can feel ownership,” wrote Carmen in her recap. “It’s tearing down shame. It’s about saying that our love, our sex, our sticky sweat is valid.”— Riese Bernard

9. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Seasons 4 & 5 (4)

“Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Is Singing Our Song: Valencia Has a Girlfriend!

Maybe we should’ve seen it coming — after all, soon after we meet Valencia for the first time, she’s kissing Rebecca on the dance floor and lamenting the fact that everyone wants to have sex with her — but it wasn’t until Valencia met Beth that we got to see her bisexuality as something other than comedic fodder. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has always been a queer-friendly show but with Valencia and Beth, it finally put lady-loving ladies on centerstage. Valencia’s bisexuality was the pitch perfect end to a show-long character arc: she’s evolved from the vain yoga instructor who couldn’t build meaning relationships with women to loving, working and living with one.

The Golden Globe-winning series is currently in its fourth and final season and Valencia and Beth are still together, happy and, in an unusual twist for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, relatively normal (unless you count the $8000 they pay in rent for their new closet size NYC apartment). We feared that the couple’s recent relocation meant that we wouldn’t get to see as much of them but the show’s found a way to bridge the distance between West Covina and New York. Hopefully, Valencia’s recent return for “the rest of the series of holidays” means we’ll finally get that lesbian loving musical number we’ve all been craving. — Natalie Duggins

8. Jane the Virgin Season Four (4)

While Jane the Virgin has been rightly critically acclaimed since day one and praised for its revolutionary diversity, it’s always had a complicated relationship with its queer characters. Luisa started off strong but was ultimately relegated to a one-dimensional punchline before essentially disappearing, and Rose was never really fully formed. This year, though, the writers picked up on the long-running fan theory that Petra is bisexual and agreed. Unlike Luisa, Petra actually started out as a caricature and became more layered and complicated as the show went on. Her coming out journey was essentially realizing she’s into women because her chemistry with Jane Ramos spawned a sex dream into her subconscious — and then just going for it. The self-revelation, the exploration, even the way she told Jane and Rafael about it was so sweet and sexy and prickly and Petra. Jane the Virgin has gotten better every year, and the surprise of Petra and JR’s storyline was one of the reasons season four was its best ever. — Heather Hogan

7. The Haunting of Hill House Season One (4)

Netflix’s New “Haunting of Hill House” Gave Us a Lesbian Who Lives, Took Our Whole Weekend

The Haunting of Hill House had a challenge ahead of it with adapting its queer storyline; the original text had one of pop culture’s first recognizably lesbian characters, but preserving her “authentically” would mean falling far short of today’s expectations for representation, as in 2018 we look for more to signify lesbianism than “wears pants” and “is unmarried.” So Haunting gave us Theo, a lesbian character whose sexuality isn’t her whole storyline, but does tie into it; who goes through some wild and traumatizing stuff, but on a level that’s comparable with the also very wild and traumatizing stuff that her straight siblings go through. And in a show where romantic relationships are rocky at best, Theo does manage to both survive and get the girl. —Rachel Kincaid

6. Brooklyn 99 Season Five (6)

As evidenced by our very own Gay Emmys, this year was a very good year for Stephanie Beatriz and her character Rosa Diaz, who came out as bisexual — like, actually said the word! — on this season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The show itself had a good year, too, almost annoying in how persistently it outdoes itself year after year with its annual, always excellent Halloween episode. The Backstreet Boys lineup might go down as one of the greatest comedy cold opens of all time (up there with The Office’s “Fire Drill”). And even though we’re now five seasons into the series, that doesn’t mean the writers are just coasting by on humor that relies on how well we know all of these characters. It still regularly serves up new, emotional character arcs that peel back the layers to this lovable squad, as with Rosa’s personal life developments. Above all else, the show celebrates earnestness and friendship in a really lovely way that proves you don’t have to be mean or cynical to be really fucking funny. — Kayla Kumari

5. One Day at a Time Season Two (6)

“One Day at a Time” Brings Even More Heart and Humor and Gayness to Season 2

There’s an easy reason that One Day at a Time shows up on so many critics’ “End of the Year” Best Lists. It’s quite simply that damn good. One Day at a Time is the most generous, compassionate, loving family sitcom on television. It’s also not afraid to have frank, sometimes dark discussions – PTSD, depression, the fragility of age, the perils of being a young queer teen, the financial struggles of being a working class family in the 21^st century. It’s all on the table.

As I wrote in my Season Two review, some of the show’s brilliance comes from leaning into its multi-cam sitcom roots. One Day at a Time uses an old school format, and they are proud of it. They leverage the intimacy and familiarity of the genre to their advantage, luring their audience into cutting edge and weighty conversations from the comfort of the Alvarez’s living room. It’s a stand-out in a class of stand-outs and I would put it against any other comedy on television. In fact, I’ll go further. The fact that One Day at a Time has now gone two years without any acting or writing Emmy nominations is one of the most shaming indictments of the white, male majority of the Television Academy that we have right now. Yes, it’s just that damn good. — Carmen Phillips

4. Pose Season One (13)

“Pose” Is Full of Trans Joy, Resistance, and Love

This show just flatly rejected the idea that the best way to tell our stories is slowly, character-by-character, putting one white cisnormative queer in one show and then another show until we somehow achieve critical mass. The problem with that has often been that that’s not how we live — we’re not out here one by one, lone queers in schools/towns/families composed entirely by normals. Enter Pose: a show written by and for trans women of color, set in an era when the only thing louder than the daily trauma of oppression and omnipresent fear of HIV/AIDS were the LOOKS, and all the beautiful ways a body can move to express itself. Pose radiates with a glittery, gorgeous aesthetic and complicated characters. Trans bodies are so often portrayed as somehow tragic or compromised, and Pose — in addition to being a story about real human lives, love, friendship, and “chosen family” — is about the triumph of the body, its ability to mean as much to the world as it does to itself. — Riese Bernard

3. G.L.O.W. Season Two (11)

G.L.O.W. Season Two Doubles the lesbians, Doubles the Fun

After a first season that bafflingly pursued outlandish homoeroticism yet was seemingly void of homosexuals, Season Two introduced a Latina lesbian fighter and pulled Arthie off the bench for a romantic awakening. G.L.O.W., based on the real-life Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, was a delightful mid-summer ride that took a more decidedly feminist bent as the Gorgeous Ladies explored how to advocate for, instead of against, each other, in an industry hell-bent on exploiting women for male fortune. Still, with its electrifying outfits, ostentatious costume drama and carefully-calibrated balance of comedy and drama, it only failed at one thing: an ensemble this dynamic needs longer episodes or a longer season, or both. — Riese Bernard

2. The Good Place Season 3 (12)

The Good Place, like The Office and 30 Rock before it (although I’m, admittedly, not a 30 Rock fan), has accomplished nothing short of a complete re-imagination of what the half-hour network comedy can be. It’s got everything: prestige sci-fi level world-building, cartoonish aesthetics, highbrow esoteric wit, running gags and plenty of ‘ships. Its premise, writes Sam Anderson in The New York Times, “is absurdly high concept. It sounds less like the basis of a prime-time sitcom than an experimental puppet show conducted, without a permit, on the woodsy edge of a large public park.” And yet it works. And in Season Three, The Good Place amped up Eleanor’s bisexuality and Janet’s particular take on non-binary, and we are so pleased, because that means we can put what will undoubtedly be one of the most legendary television programs of all time on lists like this one. — Riese Bernard

1. Killing Eve Season One (17)

Killing Eve is Your New Queer Obsession

Crescendoing, relentless, all-consuming obsession fuels the narrative of Killing Eve, Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s sexy, smart, distinctly feminine action thriller starring Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer as the toxic spy-assassin duo who can’t stop thinking about each other. Watching Killing Eve feels exactly like that: seering obsession. This category was stacked with great, complex dramas, but there’s something just purely intoxicating about Killing Eve that sets it apart. Though it’s the phrase most often used to describe Eve and Villanelle’s dynamic, “cat-and-mouse” hardly covers what Oh and Comer bring to these characters or what’s even on the page. It’s never quite clear whether they want to murder each other or make out. Hunting each other, longing for each other, Eve and Villanelle might be one of the most complex queer relationships on television. But beyond that dripping subtext, it’s just a very good thriller with compelling twists and turns and sharp edges that refuse to be dulled. — Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Boobs on Your Tube: Janet Smooches Janet Smooches Eleanor on “The Good Place”

This is our penultimate edition of Boobs On Your Tube of 2018! With TV nuzzling down for its long winter nap and our team prepping for travel and holigay shenanigans, next week will be our last Boobs Tube for a while. Don’t worry, though: When TV starts gearing back up in the New Year, we’ll be back!

This week, Valerie Anne recapped a really excellent Nia-centric episode of Supergirl and another awesome Sara/Ava team-up episode of Legends of Tomorrow. Kayla continued to wonder where the fresh heck Cheryl is in her Riverdale recaps. Carmen muscled through a Jennifer and Khalil-heavy episode of Black Lightning. Also, she made you a list of 16 gay holiday TV episodes you can stream right this very second (or weekend)! Heather made list of the best feminist movies of the year (that weren’t technically gay). And we loaded the Pop Culture Fix full of new gay TV trailers.

Here’s what else.

The Good Place 309: “Janets”

Written by Heather

If you’re not watching The Good Place, there’s no way I can explain last night’s episode to you. If you’re watching The Good Place but you aren’t caught up, I am going to show you something that will help you prioritize your weekend. If you’re watching The Good Place and have seen last night’s episode, you’re welcome.

Legacies 106: “Mombie Dearest”

Written by Valerie Anne

Friends, I’m REALLY into this show. I thought never having seen The Vampire Diaries or The Originals would catch up to me eventually, but it really hasn’t. There were some things in this episode that having friends tell me bits about the TVD lore made more interesting, but honestly I was fine not knowing, too. I think they’re doing a good job of balancing the Easter eggs for people who did watch while not assuming everyone has.

Anyway, in this episode, it’s the twins’ 16th birthday, and of course that means Lizzie is throwing a Sweet 16 party. Despite this occasion, Penelope is still feeling great about her “take Lizzie down to win back Josie” plan so she shows up to the girls’ room bearing cupcakes and bad news.

Surprise, witches, bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.

The general premise of this episode is that the twins’ bio mom comes back from the dead. Not to be confused with their birth mom. You see, Mama Jo died when she was only a few months pregnant with the twins, but they were put into a vampire’s body until they were born, because of course they were. Also, the force that is after The Knife can create sort of zombie sleeper-agents? So it resurrected Jo, meaning the girls got to meet her for the first time. Lizzie kept her at arm’s length, her defense mechanism being a cruel kind of snark, as usual, but Josie feels a real connection to her immediately.

After Josie finishes helping Lizzie get ready, Penelope shows up at her door asking if she needs a date to the party. Josie is still mad at Penelope for everything she’s doing to Lizzie, but Penelope still thinks Josie needs to open her eyes to the situation. She tells her to look at herself right now: the party, ostensibly also HER party, starts in five minutes, but Josie was so busy helping Lizzie get ready, she’s going to be late. Penelope tries to assure Josie that taking something for herself isn’t selfish, but Josie shoos her away.

As soon as she’s gone, however, Josie does end up taking her advice, and goes to see Jo and asks her to braid her hair. They have this sweet bonding moment and gosh it feels like the first time anyone in Josie’s family has looked at her, just her. Also during this conversation, Josie casually drops that she has an ex-girlfriend and that it’s complicated, and Jo doesn’t flinch, it’s A+ momming.

Less than A+ momming is when the sleeper-agent thing gets activated and Jo ends up burying Josie alive without having any memory of it. Dad gets Hope to help him, and Hope recruits MG for his vampire hearing and Penelope, who has never picked up a shovel so fast in her life.

After they save Josie, Penelope is like, “Hi hello I saved you, do you like me again yet?” and Josie says that there’s room in this world for all kinds of people and she likes being selfless, dammit! Penelope smirks that sultry smirk at her, taking a half-step closer, and says that works out, because she likes being selfish.

Every time two queer women share a frame an angel gets their wings.

Then she leans in and KISSES HER.

I love me a Hufflepuff/Slytherin power couple.

And I whooped and hollered with glee, and laughed when Josie said, “I still hate you,” before kissing Penelope right back. I can’t wait to see what these two get up to next.

All American 107: “California Love”

Written by Natalie

Every show has its heart. It’s not, necessarily, the central character, but, instead, the character or characters that ground the show and imbues it with warmth and familiarity. The nature of television dictates that, every now and again, the heart of a show must be tested but the hallmark of a good showrunner is knowing when to say when. Every character ought to have some struggle, relationships should never be perfect but you can’t do irreparable harm to the heart of a show…otherwise, you lose your audience (*cough*IleneChakenkillingDana*cough*). Thankfully, though, the writers of All American understand that the heart of its show is the friendship between Spencer and Coop and the fracture between them is repaired early in the episode.

After assuring Coop that she’ll always be his family, Spencer leans on his BFF for advice about his girl problem: he kissed Leila, who’s dating his teammate, Asher, and doesn’t know what to do next. Just as Spencer resigns himself to letting Leila go, in order to keep the peace on the team, Coop reminds him that some girls are worth the disruption. The Spencer she knows doesn’t give up, Coop reminds him. It’s enough to convince Spencer to go the Beverly Hills’ Homecoming Dance as long as Coop agrees to be his date. She agrees and, we are, graciously, rewarded with seeing Bre-Z rock this suit:

*fans self*

I am not entirely certain how those girls saw Coop in that suit and didn’t promptly dump their dates or, at the very least, have an existential crisis about their sexuality but I guess this ain’t that kinda show.

While everyone else is dancing (badly), Coop calls Spencer out for sulking over Leila. Spencer springs into action to save Leila from an argument with Asher about a banner. Annoyed that Spencer’s interjecting himself into their conversation (and relationship), Asher lashes out and, before a fight can break out between the two teammates, Coop steps in and pulls Spencer away. Later, Coop tries to negotiate a truce between Spencer and his Crenshaw rival, Chris, who’s at the dance as Olivia’s date. Before anything can get firmly resolved, Coop’s called away.

It’s Coop’s other world calling: the one where she’s crashing on Shawn’s couch and the one where she’s caught in the fallout over the shooting outside the barbershop. As with Spencer, Coop’s continually pushing Shawn to build a better life for himself and his daughter and she’s elated to hear that he’s got an interview with a record label. The celebration is cut short, though, as Shawn’s boss, Tyrone, summons him and Coop for a meeting. The barbershop shootout means the crew’s down one dealer so Shawn is tasked with picking up the slack, starting tonight…at the exact same time Shawn’s supposed to have an interview. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

Coop interjects, pledging to pick up the package in Shawn’s stead, but Tyrone rejects it, flat out, tossing some homophobic taunts her way. The bullying catches me off guard…in part because Coop’s masculine presentation hasn’t really been challenged until now, but mostly because it just felt like bad writing. But anyway, Shawn pledges to be at the spot, much to Coop’s dismay. Later, Shawn assures Coop that he can do both — the interview and the pick-up — but when the label asks him to start right away, he’s forced to call Coop for help.

You used to call me on my cell phone.

Coop rushes over to pick up the package but Tyrone’s already there. He claims that having a gay chick rolling with his crew is making them look soft…which, I take to mean that Tyrone’s never watched Snoop Pearson on The Wire. Coop tries to assure him that she can be an asset but when Tyrone asks her to prove herself — by handing her gun and the address for where some Crips hang out — she can’t do it. Taking her reluctance as a sign of disloyalty, Tyrone warns Coop and Shawn to watch their backs.

“Tyrone, man, he [is] not feeling me or you right now,” Coop admits to Shawn later. “And to be honest, I’m a little scared.”

And, despite Shawn’s promise that he’ll get Tyrone off her back, Coop probably should be.

Quick Hits

Star 309: “Zion”

A Bisexual Break-Up Letter, For When Hallmark Just Won’t Do

Hot word in the Atlanta streets is that Nina left her husband Mateo because she’s fallen in love with someone else!! To quote the narrator from Jane the Virgin, “It’s like something out of a telenovela, right?” We already know that the someone in question is Simone, of course. I think Mateo knows it, too. The look he shot the young singer before her set in the music festival was cold as ice. My gut tells me that we haven’t seen the end of Nina, but just in case, she sent Simone a beautiful bouquet of flowers to celebrate her career success. The attached card said, “You deserve this and more” – I agree, Nina. Simone deserves the whole world. Now who’s going to step up to the plate and give it to her? — Carmen

Charmed 108: “Bug a Boo”

There’s a new witch in town.

I took a poll of the TV Team to see who else thought that Jada, the new morally grey half-witch/half-whitelighter in town, was queer. Valerie agreed with me, and that’s enough for me to feel confident including her in our updates! If nothing else, Jada has no problem flirting with Mel to get what she wants. I obviously still miss Niko, but Jada’s bad girl energy is off the charts and I want more! Like Hansel and Gretel eating fallen candy off of a witch’s house, I wouldn’t mind seeing where this road takes us. — Carmen

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 407: “I Will Help You”

Well, Beth still exists! Rebecca went to New York to visit her mom in this episode, and instead of staying in the guest bedroom at her mother’s house, opted to sleep in Valencia and Beth’s comically small apartment. They pull down the refrigerator to reveal a murphy bed that acts as a guest bed, which seems extremely inconvenient because surely now their fridge is a mess. Anyway, Valencia ends up being the under-appreciated hero of the episode and really coming through for Rebecca, and Beth is adorably proud of Rebecca for standing up to her mother. Their relationship is just a background fact but I’m glad they’re keeping it up. — Valerie Anne

The Flash 508: “What’s Past is Prologue”

Nora continues to be important to the central narrative of this season, but her queerness still hasn’t come up again. Sure, she’s busy time traveling with her dead dad to save the world, but I mean would it be THAT HARD to have Killer Frost flirt with her a little? Sheesh. — Valerie Anne

The Young and the Restless

Cold Shoulder

Last we checked in with Mariah and Tessa on Y&R, I was sure that Tessa was living on borrowed time but, for now at least, she’s been granted a reprieve. After a visit from Victoria, Tessa’s safety net is gone: the back-up copy of the video, gone, the leftover blackmail money, gone, and what little trust remained between her and the woman she loves, gone. Mariah’s at the end of her rope too and has spent most of the last two weeks wavering between staying and leaving.

Can I just say: nothing about how Mariah’s reacting to the revelations about her mother or Tessa make any sense? Why is she more bothered by the blackmail than the fact that her mother’s one of Genoa City’s Big Little Liars? Why is she holding Tessa to an ethical standard that the old Mariah — a con artist who was paid to gaslight Sharon — could never have met…standards that she’s only met after years of with her newly found family? Mariah’s sanctimony about this makes no sense.

But, just as I’m starting to believe that the only death that Tessa’s going to suffer on this show is Lesbian Bed Death, someone jumps Tessa from behind and puts a black bag over her head. Uh oh. Tessa, you in danger, girl. — Natalie

Coronation Street

Kate and Imran

Kate wandered into the Bistro this week, her heart still set on having a baby with her boss/cousin’s husband, Robert. They decide to reach out Adam, one of the town’s attorneys, to get more information about what their arrangement might entail. Of course, he’s never dealt with anything like this, so he promises to reach out to a colleague for more information. Adam encourages Kate and Robert to tell their partners what they’re planning, while Kate makes him promise not to tell his law partner, Imran (AKA Rana’s brother). But when he intercepts one of Adam’s calls, Imran gets wind of Kate’s plan and rushes off to confront her.

Kate assures Imran that she and Robert are just trying to formulate a plan before she brings it to Rana. She begs for more time and promises to tell Rana when she has all the answers. Imran relents but urges Kate to tell his sister sooner rather than later. — Natalie

Boobs on Your Tube: “All American” Just Keeps Getting Its Lesbian Story Right

It’s Boobs on Your Tube time once more, which means you’ve made it to another weekend! This week Heather reviewed the new Hulu/Channel 4 series The Bisexual and Netflix’s unbelievably gay remake of She-Ra and Sally4Ever (with special guest star Autostraddle Sally!) and Melissa McCarthy’s Can You Ever Forgive Me? and also published our first year-end list of 2018 — the best lesbian and bisexual movies! Kayla recapped the latest episode of (not gay enough) Riverdale and you simple must check out her But Make It Fashion essay/photoshoot: Nancy Meyers But Make It Gay: Wearing a Chunky Beach Sweater When Your Life Is Falling Apart. Carmen recapped a sexy as all hell episode of Black Lightning. And Valerie Anne went to camp with Sara and Ave on Legends of Tomorrow and protected Alex at all costs on Supergirl. Here’s what else!

All American 105: “All We Got”

Written by Natalie

We’ve talked before on Autostraddle about our own battles with internalized homophobia and how it can manifest at the most inopportune moments. Even when you think you’re over it, even when you’ve left that oppressive environment behind, even when you’ve got yourself an amazing girlfriend…it just shows up, uninvited, and impedes you from being the person that you want to be. It’s rare to watch a show grapple with that, as All American does this week with Coop; in that way that good representation does: it was both amazing and oddly discomfiting.

So let’s recap:

It’s Spencer’s birthday and Coop’s integrated into the family’s celebration: she joins their early morning birthday call and the dinner later that night. Spencer thanks her for helping him track down Asher’s stolen car but warns her that getting Shawn’s help likely comes with strings. Coop doesn’t bother to tell Spence that she already knows that. Afterwards, Coop heads over to Patience’s house for some quality time with her girlfriend. While Patience, no doubt, enjoys making out with Coop at home, she wants to go out on a real date…she wants her girlfriend to find time for her, instead of splitting all her free time between Shawn and Spencer. Coop makes excuses for why they can’t go out and tries to pull Patience back into their makeout session but Patience isn’t having it and she asks Coop to leave.

We’re not in Crenshaw anymore…

Turns out, the excuse that Coop gave to avoid going on a date with Patience was a lie: she didn’t have a shift at the barbershop the next day, she was joining the rest of Spencer’s family for a visit to his home-away-from-home in Beverly Hills. The Baker family matriarch, Laura, has insisted on throwing Spencer a party and it’s the first time Spence’s Crenshaw life gets invited into his new Beverly Hills life. Unsurprisingly, Coop doesn’t settle as easily into the high life as Spencer does: she doesn’t understand why the cater waiter, responsible for greeting guests as they enter, can’t sit down.

Once she settles down to eat with Spence, Coop realizes that they share a common issue: both of them are still living their lives for the parents who have rejected them. Coop doesn’t live at home anymore and she has a great girlfriend who adores her but she’s still trying to live her life to appease her homophobic mother. Spencer urges her “to roll with the people who always been there for you…who always accept you for you” and Coop heads back to Crenshaw, determined to take his advice. She confesses to Patience that she wasn’t at work, she was at a party in Beverly Hills.

“Why would you do that?” Patience asks, after Coop apologizes for lying.

“I was afraid you’d ask to go. Not because I’m ashamed of you, but because I’m ashamed of me. My mom put me out because of who I am and deep down inside, I felt like maybe she’s right about me,” Coop answer, spilling all her internalized homophobia out on the floor.
But, in Patience, Coop’s finally found someone that accepts her for who she is and she doesn’t want to lose that. Sport Ivory’s “Traveler’s Hymn” echoes in the background (perfect song choice!) as Coop asks Patience to help her become the person she wants to be…the person worthy of having Patience in her life.

AWWWWW!

Patience agrees, of course, and the next time we see the couple, they’re strolling down the street together, happy and unafraid to show that they’re together.

Charmed 505: “Other Women”

Written by Carmen

Well, that was a heartbreaker.

When I asked the rest of the TV Team how to write about this week’s Charmed in roughly 500 words or less, Valerie helpfully recommended that I include 500 cry face emojis and call it a day! She’s probably not wrong. I don’t know how else to describe Mel’s impossible decision to let go of Niko forever in order to protect her from the demons that are stalking the Charmed Ones.

I know that mourning a death isn’t exactly the right time to point this out, but they look so beautiful.

Niko’s understandably having a hard time right now. Her partner, Trip, was framed in death by one of the elders, a governing body that presides over the light magic realm and often tries (both in the original series and the reboot alike) to “pull the strings” and manipulate the Charmed Ones. The elder, Charity, had good enough reason to frame Trip. He witnessed the sisters performing an exorcism after all. So, after he died by accident, she framed Trip for the string of murders that have been happening across town lately. Still, the puzzle pieces don’t quite line up, and Niko is becoming obsessed.

Niko does what she does best: work the case. She gets pretty far, tracking down Trip’s detective layer filled with new information about the murder of the Charmed sisters’ mom, and how her death may connect to other recent murders of middle-aged women across the country. Unfortunately, unraveling this mystery puts Niko firmly in the crosshairs of a shapeshifting demon assassin who wants the original murders to remained covered up.

The burning GREEN fires of hell?

They definitely let this part out in Catholic School.

After the shapeshifter nearly kills her in a hellfire, Mel comes to a devastating conclusion: She asks the elders for help finding a spell that will erase Niko from her life. The spell will alter history so that the two of them have never met. As she tearfully explains to her sisters, she’s going to lose Niko either way. At least this way, Niko gets to live.

Solemnly the Charmed Ones gather in their attic as Mel sets the circle for their spell. When the time comes, Harry encourages her to spend her final moments with Niko – the sisters can take care of the incantation from here.

Now *THAT* is how you cry on camera!

Mel goes to Niko, who’s still spinning out about Trip and the murder of Mel’s mom and what it all means. Mel freezes her. She croaks out that this is the only way. She must protect Niko, even if it means sacrificing literally everything. She will always love her. She believes that their love will carry them through, even when they can no longer remember it or each other. Melonie Diaz lays her heart into every word. Upstairs, the sisters start the chant. Mel and Niko’s memories shimmer around them – smiles, laughter, shared food, their first kiss. Then all the memories turn into sand falling at their feet.

Mel reaches out to her girlfriend, attempting to stroke her face, to maybe kiss her one last time. It’s too late. Niko turns into dust at the stretch of Mel’s fingertips.

A love to stand the sands of time.

Mel doubles over in grief, crying out in agony. Her sisters join her, but how can you help manage a heartbreak like this? You can’t. Words can’t soothe this pain. Hugs won’t heal it. With a few days to nurse her broken heart, Mel works up the bravery to check for Niko on social media. She’s healthy — happy even. And she has no idea Mel ever existed. Mel found a way to save her, but what did that decision ultimately cost them both?

It’s rare (arguably unheard of) in television for the emotional weight of a series to depend on its central queer couple, especially from the opening episode. In less than five episodes, Niko has provided us with comic relief, action-intrigue, and a calming hand. Mel’s struggle with keeping her witchy secret “in the closet” from her girlfriend gave the fantasy series one of their most stand out, grounded moments thus far. Mel and Niko have been beautifully written, which is why the full weight of Mel’s decision is felt from the moment it leaves her lips. They are Charmed‘s central romance, and their compelling, even if shortened, relationship is what makes what happened on Sunday particularly hard to suffer.

This is the double-edged sword. It’s great that the most established romance on Charmed thus far has been a lesbian love story. But, the burden of being the core romance is that you also become the show’s engine of drama and conflict. It has to burn at least a little, or the audience won’t come back next week. Which is to say, I’m in no way convinced that Niko and Mel are over permanently. I hope that I’m right. This quite simply can’t be the abrupt end to what would’ve otherwise been something so epic.

Quick Hits

The Good Place 308: “Don’t Let the Good Life Pass You By”

— Heather

Supernatural 1406 “Optimism”

Umm, does this count as coming back from the dead?

Charlie was back on Supernatural last night. Charlie? you’re saying to yourself. Charlie who was murdered to death and stuffed in a bathtub? Yes, that Charlie. JK, this is an alternate universe Charlie. She’s from Apocalypse World where Sam and Dean were never born and so things were pretty chill until the mid-70s and then the demons won and now, well: apocalypse. AU!Charlie is still a lesbian. She used to have a girlfriend but like Canon!Charlie, that lesbian was stabbed to death by some demons. It’s my understanding that AU!Charlie now lives on actual earth and last night she did an adventure with Sam, the end of which led to him asking her to join their Hunter squad and her laughing in his face and saying she’s going to live on a mountain with good wifi where a TV lesbian can enjoy a moment of peace. Good for you, Charlie. — Heather

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 405: “I Am So Happy For You”

So Valencia and Beth might be moving to New York together?? Heather is supposedly also moving but only across town but based on the way they presented this information to Rebecca last week they made it sound like they were saying goodbye, but this show is barely still good as it is, they can’t lose two of their funniest and characters. I mean Heather is the only thing grounding this chaos to reality so they’d just float into oblivion without her, right? So I have a feeling maybe this move to New York won’t work out but whatever happens, I hope we see Beth again soon. — Valerie Anne

The Flash 505: “All Doll’d Up”

Canon queer speedster Nora West-Allen continues to be at the forefront of this season, and continues to be cute as a goddamned button, but all she did this week that was even remotely queer is work through her mommy issues. Which is relatable. — Valerie Anne

The Young and the Restless

Well, that went downhill quickly, didn’t it? I thought we’d get a little bit of cohabitating bliss before Y&R reaffirmed the #1 rule of soaps — “no couple that gets screen time can be happy” — but oh, no…Mariah and Tessa’s stint as a cohabitating couple ended before it ever really got started.

Oh, how I long for happier times

The girls wake up in their shared apartment, happy but still unsettled. Mariah’s determined to get everything unpacked and organized, starting with the closet. She clears some of Tessa’s stuff out of the way, including the duffel bag that once held a boatload of cash, and makes room for her own. When Tessa runs, Mariah proudly shows off her handiwork and notes that she also got them a new mattress and tossed the old one out. Tessa lashes out at Mariah for getting rid of her things without asking and storms off before Mariah can even figure out what’s happening.

Mariah returns to the apartment later, believing that she overstepped because she’d adopted capriciousness with money after living Newman-adjacent for so many years, but Tessa’s left an apology card and wine in hopes of making amends. Where’s Tessa, you ask? Oh, just downstairs, pulling the money out of the discarded mattress and back into her duffel bag — SHE’S GOING TO THE MATTRESSES, LITERALLY! — and who’s there to witness it all? Mariah, of course.

When Mariah confronts her about it the next morning, Tessa lies and lies but Mariah’s bullshit detector is set on high. Every excuse that Tessa makes, Mariah’s there to poke holes in it…and Mariah refuses to build a life with Tessa with this huge $250k lie hanging over them. In hopes of salvaging her relationship, Tessa comes clean: she’s been trying to scam the rich people of Genoa City since she got to town and her plan only faltered when she fell in love with Mariah. She admits that she got the money from Nikki Newman to keep her secret but Mariah keeps pressing Tessa for the details. Eventually, Tessa reveals that she’d blackmailed Nikki, Sharon, Phyllis and Victoria to keep their roles in JT’s murder a secret.

So, admittedly, when this whole blackmail storyline started, I didn’t want to believe that Tessa was behind it…partly because I want Tessa to be a reformed bad girl, but also because making her the culprit just seemed a little too obvious. Everyone in Genoa City knew that Tessa was desperate for money but, apparently, none of us knew exactly how desperate. Cait Fairbanks’ scenes this week, as a desperate but self-assured Tessa, were probably some of her best work yet (related: Fairbanks’ musical alter ego released a new single this week). — Natalie

Star 307: “Karma”

Simone is still thinking all of her thinky-thoughts as she processes her feelings for Nina. As she figures shit out, she confesses to Alex, her best friend and one of the members of her singing group, that she slept with Nina at the beginning of the season. Alex is currently going through an adultery situation in her own relationship. As you can imagine, she was less than understanding of Simone’s plight. — Carmen

Station 19 207: “Weather the Storm”

The pained smile of someone who finally got it all, but it’s going to cost her everything

I’ve got some good news for Maya the Bisexual Firefighter, and then I’ve got some bad news. The good news is that her promotion to become Lieutenant was approved by Seattle FD! The bad news is that if she accepts the promotion, she’ll have to leave Station 19 for good and join the team at Station 23 instead. (The intriguing news is that I’m at least 78% sure that Station 23 is the homebase of Maya’s hot girl hook up from last season. Hmmm….) — Carmen

Boobs on Your Tube: “The Good Place” Super Confirms Eleanor’s Super Bisexuality

Welcome to Boobs on Your Tube!

GLAAD released their annual Where We Are on TV report this week, which gave numbers to the trends we’ve been sensing and covering since Riese built our comprehensive TV database in 2017. It’s good news this year: There’s a record percentage of LGBTQ character on TV and for the first time ever, there are more characters of color than white characters! But as Riese notes: “There’s still plenty of room for improvement, which is a topic we touch on just about every day. We need more trans characters across all shows, and a lot more trans men, and more QPOC characters and more characters with disabilities and women and men should be even and wow there’s just a lot still to be done!”

This week on Autostraddle, Kayla recapped another wild episode of Riverdale, Carmen recapped another stellar episode of Black Lightning, Valerie Anne recapped Supergirl and the heckin’ gay return of Legends of Tomorrow. Drew Gregory wrote about seeing herself reflected in Supergirl’s Nia Nal. And Stitchers’ Anna Akana came out at the Streamys.

Here’s what else!

The Good Place 305: “The Ballad of Donkey Doug”

Written by Heather

You’ve almost warmed this cold, cold heart of mine.

Well, I guess now we know why The Good Place‘s William Jackson Harper — who plays Chidi, the most ripped Ethics professor in the history of the world — told a UK newspaper that Eleanor is “super bisexual.” It’s because he knew Eleanor was going to try to make out with his girlfriend!

Hang on, let me start at the beginning.

Last week Michael and Janet finally came clean with Eleanor & Co. about what they’ve been up to for the last several hundred years. You know, dying, going to the Bad Place, getting rebooted in the Bad Place over and over and over, getting reincarnated, etc. They all took it pretty hard, but Eleanor ultimately decided that, even though they’re doomed, they should form a Soul Squad and try to save other people. But before they can do that, Chidi’s gotta break up with Simone. If she finds out about the afterlife and the Soul Squad, it could doom her for all eternity.

To help Chidi figure out how to break up ethically, Janet sets up a simulation for him to practice. (“I do know everything about you, and Simone, and computer programming, and virtual reality, and artificial intelligence, and the human brain, and everything else!”) Chidi tries a million different ways to get it right and finally Eleanor offers to just do it for him. She pops into the simulation to end things with Simone but the compliments she uses to soften the break-up blow turn into full-on flirting, which turns into hand-holding, which turn into Eleanor going, “Whaaaaat is happening” and leaning in for a kiss before Chidi zaps her out of the simulation. She does not care for that one bit! Neither do I! “It was just getting good,” both Eleanor and I snap!

At one point Eleanor also tells Chidi, “More guys should be bi. It’s 2018; get over yourselves.” The implication, I think, being that she herself is bi? I mean, even if that’s not what she meant, she has fallen for Tahani and now almost smooched Simone on the mouth, so that’s super canonical, baby.

I know this show already has a lot going on and the main cast is so fantastic it’s hard to root for guest characters to come in and take up space, but: a) I hope this is not the last we’ll see of Kirby Howell-Baptiste; she was brilliant as Simone. And b) I sure would like for Eleanor to legitimately date a woman, even if it’s not Tahani (although of course I obviously hope it’s Tahani).

All American 103: “i”

Written by Natalie

This week’s episode of All American was, by far, my favorite of those that have aired thus far. It felt as embedded in the culture — black culture, gay culture, football culture — as anything the show’s done until now. That said, “i” also felt like A LOT…too much, to be honest. This one episode tried to tell so much story — Spencer vs. his new team, Spencer vs. his old team, Beverly Hills meets Crenshaw, Coop gets a girlfriend, Coop comes out, Olivia and Leila’s attempt to revive their friendship, Leila remembers her mom’s death, Jordan learns what it means to be a black in America — that very little of it carried the emotional resonance that it should have.

Before school, Coop strolls into an early morning choir practice to see her mother before she and her father leave for a retreat. She slides into a pew and wordlessly flirts with a bohemian songstress. After rehearsal, Coop greets her mom and they settle into an easy rapport, trading jokes about the house party Coop might throw while her parents are away. They hug and Coop’s mom urges her to get to school but, as her daughter walks away, she calls out, “Tamia, no boys at the house after we’re gone.”

Yeah, mom, I don’t think that will be a problem.

Later, Spencer laments that his new teammates at Beverly Hills High haven’t accepted him, but Coop reminds him that acceptance goes both ways. Maybe they’ll start accepting him, she says, if he opens himself up to them. Spence chuckles at the irony: how is Coop lecturing him about honesty and acceptance when she hasn’t even told her parents she’s gay? I get where you’re going with that, Spence, but for the record: those two things are not the same.

“Have they not met me?” Coop asks, rhetorically. “How can I be anything else? Seriously, I’m not responsible for their blindness.”

When Coop and Spencer show up at his house for the family barbecue, Spencer’s teammate, Jordan, is helping his mom in the kitchen. Guess who’s coming to dinner? Spencer wanted people to get to know him and where he’s from so, much to Spence’s chagrin, Jordan’s going to do that. And guess who else is coming to dinner? The bohemian songstress from choir practice, Patience (Chelsea Tavares). She easily finds her space in the crew and Jordan, after he proves himself with some incisive hip-hop knowledge, does the same.

Strolling Through the Neighborhood

After an impromptu football game breaks out, Patience and Coop walk around the neighborhood, continuing the heavy flirting that started earlier at the church. Coop admits that she’s never said the words “I’m gay” before because she’s never felt the need to, she’s not hiding who she is. She admits she likes Patience and invites to her house to hang out. Inside, Coop shows off her musical chops and Patience is impressed. She compliments a bashful Coop and then leans in for a kiss (or three). The pair spends the night digging through Coop’s record collection before falling asleep on the floor, only to be woken up the next morning by Coop’s mom.

Convinced that Patience is trouble, Coop’s mom urges her daughter to stay away from her. Coop asks if her mom only thinks Patience is trouble because she’s gay and, if so, what does that make her, because she’s gay too. Her mother refuses to believe it, her daughter’s confused, she says…confused by girls like Patience.

“I am gay,” Coop says, more firmly this time. “And there is no amount of prayer that’s gonna change that. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Her mother throws down an ultimatum — if Coop doesn’t want to abide by her parents’ rules, she can no longer live in their home — and without hesitation, Coop decides to she’ll go live elsewhere. It all happens way too fast and because of that, the scene isn’t as compelling as it should be. Plus, it shortchanges what could’ve been an interesting (and heretofore, untold) story about the lives of gay youth forced to live under “don’t ask, don’t tell” policies at home. Later, Coop shows up at Spencer’s house, everything she has stuffed into two duffel bags, and collapses in tears in Spencer’s mother’s arms.

Charmed 102: “Let This Mother Out”

Written by Carmen

Welcome back, Charmed Ones! Did you catch my review of the series pilot last week? Here we are, already on episode two, and the gayness won’t stop coming!

Ah, Sweet Lady Kisses

First things first, Mel and Niko are getting back together. Their reunion sex last week wasn’t a one-off occasion. In fact, when Niko asks if they are starting over from scratch or if she can drop by with Italian sandwiches like nothing ever changed, Mel smiles into her cellphone and says, “bring the sandwiches.” They are soooo cute, I almost can’t stand it! (Reader, I can COMPLETELY stand it. I already want some more!)

Niko stops by for lunch – she even remembered Mel’s extra pickles! Aww! – but gets called back to the police station before their picnic can really take off. She gives Mel her “We’re Getting Back Together” present, The Cure’s 1987 Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me in mint condition, and fits in few quick kisses before she’s off! Mel wants her to bring back those handcuffs for later, if you know what she means, and I think we all know what she means.

Petition to make this the new “sips tea” meme.

But not too fast, you see, because Niko grabbed the wrong thermos by mistake. The sisters created a truth serum to find out if their Whitelighter, Harry, can be trusted. Unfortunately, Niko took the truth serum instead! WHOOPS! We’re hilariously clued in to the mistake when Niko tells the suspect she’s interrogating, “Eyewitness testimony is notoriously unreliable, plus those two were drunk, so we have no case.” Yeah… that’s not what you expect from a cop on the job.

A completely oblivious Niko calls Mel to tell her that she loves her (and also, that Mel is the worst driver she’s ever seen). At her admission, Mel figures out the mix-up right away! She rushes to the police station to escort her girlfriend to safety before her mouth cause any more trouble and it becomes a relay race of funny slip ups. Niko tells one white male officer, “It’s called personal space! Respect it!” She tells another, “I cannot translate the Moo Shu Palace specials for you BECAUSE I AM NOT CHINESE!”

Side Note: Niko apparently deals with a lot of microaggressions in her workplace. It’s not easy being a queer woman of color on the police force.

Niko ends her grand performance with my favorite line of the episode, declaring that her trademark glasses are fake! “I just wear them so people will take me seriously. I am hot. I don’t know why I try to hide it!” Amen, sister.

It’s ok. We’ve all cried listening to Britney Spears. She’s been through so much. She deserves happiness.

Sadly this is when our Comedy of Errors makes an abrupt turn. Niko confesses to Mel that she slept with Greta, her ex-fiancée, just last week. Technically Niko and Mel weren’t back together yet, but she feels bad about it. That’s why she bought Mel The Cure! It wasn’t a “We’re Getting Back Together” present at all. It was a guilt trip.

I worried this confession would lead directly to a break up before we even really got a chance to know the twosome at all. Thankfully, Mel’s little sister, Maggie, saves the day. Using her newly formed empathetic witch powers, Maggie reminds Mel that the past should be in the past. Niko wouldn’t have even told Mel the secret if the sisters hadn’t accidentally drugged her. Don’t burn a bridge over this.

Luckily for all of us, Mel agreed.

The Purge 108: “The Giving Time is Here”

Written by Carmen

Welp. That was a shit show.

I suppose our journey this week starts when Lila Stanton was just 17 years old. Standing in the full length mirror of her elaborately adorned gold bedroom, in a full length white gown, nervously biting her lip, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was the eve of her wedding. It wasn’t. Instead, it was the eve of her First Purge Kill.

“I won’t get married in white. It’s sexist. And vaguely racist.” — Christina Yang, Grey’s Anatomy

I have a lot of questions about this situation, such as: Why are the rituals for a First Purge the same as the already sexist rituals of marriage? Why was Lila in white? Why did she need “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”? Is there really just that little creativity among the fake-MAGA crowd?

Anyway, Liza’s dad goes on and on about how it’s normal to be nervous and how he’s so proud of her and how it’s courageous to kill the innocent (Well, he didn’t say that last part in those exact words. Except he kind of did.) Catalina, the Stanton’s maid who you may remember from her time leading The Revolution a few episodes ago, tells Liza to follow her heart. For a brief moment it almost looks like Liza won’t go through with it. As if she won’t kill this innocent old man sitting in front of her.

Then she lets a shot go right through his head in cold blood. I guess the pressure of giving up all that wealth and privilege in the name of “doing the right thing” was too much to bear.

OK. Back to Purge Night in our current timeline. Rick and Liza start bickering almost immediately when the episode picks up, while Jenna is still working through her PTSD over that neighbor they killed. At the end of one of their fights, Liza tries to bribe Rick. She’s now the sole heir to the Stanton fortune and she would like to still sponsor Rick and Jenna’s housing project — for Jenna’s own good, of course. Rick tells her that he can’t make that kind of decision on his own, and that’s when Jenna asks to be left alone with her former girlfriend.

“You sparked something in me. You knocked me off balance,” Jenna begins. Tears brim Liza’s eyes as she realizes where this conversation is headed. “It’s over.”

What do you mean you’re leaving me for a lifetime supply of McDonald’s French Fries!?!?

Liza doesn’t take the news well, and honestly I don’t blame her. She and Jenna were just declaring their love together a few weeks ago in our time, BUT EARLIER THE VERY SAME NIGHT in theirs. This is an out of nowhere, a complete 180! When Jenna thought Liza was dead, she was beside herself with grief. Now Liza is alive and suddenly it’s over? C’mon!

Liza, fully into her manipulative lesbian trope now, tries getting Rick to leave Jenna for $20 MILLION DOLLARS. Potato sack doesn’t take the money! Which I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous. If I’m a sack of potatoes and someone offered me 20 Mil, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Do you know how many fancy potato bags you can buy with that money? No more burlap sacks for you, sir!

HAHAHA! None of this makes sense anymore!

Anyway, Rick turns Liza down and then she wilds out! She bangs him over the head, knocks him down, and prepares to shoot him dead in the eyes – just like the old man she shot during her first Purge. Jenna stops her at the last minute, and Liza lies! She says that Rick had turned violent and she was just trying to protect “OUR baby.” She was there when Rick and Jenna got pregnant, she was in the bed with them, and how dare they cut her out of their life now….

That’s when Jenna stabs her. Presumably to protect her sack of potatoes husband, but also because THIS PSYCHO ISN’T LILA! This is some trope filled personality transplant who showed up at the last minute because the writers decided that without taking drastic measures, her death would make no sense.

Lila Stanton rose from the dead, only to be murdered by the woman she loved. That’s her story. Ultimately, she was written terribly by writers who couldn’t be bothered to care. Writers who took the most ridiculous and harmful exit ramp possible, as opposed to writing a common sense ending to her arc.

Or as our Editor in Chief Riese Bernard put it, “THEY KILLED BOTH THE LESBIANS WTF!”

Indeed.

Quick Hits

Chicago Fire 705 “A Volatile Mixture”

One of my favorite things about our TV team is every single person knows who you’re talking about and exactly what you mean when you say “Erica Hahn.” It’s a throwback to Callie’s first on-screen girlfriend on Grey’s Anatomy and even though she left the show a literal decade ago, and even though Grey’s followed it up with arguably the most important queer women’s relationship in the history of network TV, all of us watched Erica Hahn disappear into the Parking Lot of No Return and there’s still a bitterness in us about it! Which is why we all grumbled “Leslie Shay” when we heard Chicago Fire‘s got a new bisexual character on the loose. We never forget being mistreated!

However, there is a new bisexual character on the loose! Her name is Emily Foster and she’s played by Annie Ilonzeh and she’s new to the team and so we’re learning more and more about her each week. This week, it’s that she’s “had boyfriends and girlfriends.” She tells Sylvie this after bemoaning her love life using a lot of gender neutral language for the entire episode, so even if I hadn’t known she was coming out, I would have known she’s bisexual ’cause I’ve watched a lot of television and talked to a lot of queer women in my life.

I need to warn you, though: Emily and Sylvie’s case this week involves a woman with a parasite IN HER FACE. — Heather

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 401-402

Valencia has been in both of the first episodes of the series, but Beth hasn’t even been mentioned. I’m hoping they’re still dating, but we won’t know until tonight’s episode. So far, the gayest thing Valencia has done is perform a séance. — Valerie Anne

The Flash 501-503

I just wanted you to know I’m still watching The Flash for you, but there’s still no sign of the supposed “LGBT” character they’re reportedly adding in season five, nor which of those letters it will be. I’m still hoping it’s Nora, played by Jessica Parker Kennedy, because she played gay so well in Black Sails. (Related, I can’t believe that Nora and Max are played by the same person; they couldn’t be more different if they tried. JPK has skills.) — Valerie Anne

General Hospital

Hey, look, GH remembered that Kristina exists this week! Yay!

Because Alexis can’t stop herself from meddling in her daughter’s life, she stops by Kristina’s bartending gig to offer her a “real job” at the offices of one of her clients. Kristina chastises her mother for interfering, yet again, and says she can figure out her future on her own. Not knowing her path is wearing on Kristina, though, and in a moment of weakness, she calls her ex, Parker. As you can imagine, that does not go well: Parker’s moving on and happy and, on the phone, Kristina feigns the same. Once she hangs up, though, she snags a bottle of tequila from the bar and goes to get drunk in the park. Later, her former brother-in-law finds an intoxicated Kristina and brings her home. Once she’s sobered up, Kristina admits that she feels stuck.

Kristina and Not Maggie

The next time we see Kristina, she’s back at work and who would be sitting across the bar from her but Lizzie Hendrickson. Unfortunately, she’s not Maggie Stone looking for someone to fill the Bianca Montgomery size hole in her heart, she’s the town district attorney looking for brunch and an opportunity to put Kristina’s father in jail. After a chat with her father, Daisy strolls up and tries to brighten Kristina’s day by inviting her to go to a bonfire and Kristina happily accepts. — Natalie

S.W.A.T. 205: S.O.S.

Bisexual Badass

A lot of times, shows like S.W.A.T. end up adding female characters just to have a damsel in distress for the leading men to rescue but, thankfully, this show is different. Bisexual badass Chris Alonso gets to play the hero this week as she and Hondo sneak on a hijacked cruise ship (Lina Esco and Shemar Moore in wet suits? Yes, please). When Hondo’s taken hostage by three of the hijackers, Chris is left alone to locate and take down the team leader on her own. It results in one of the show’s best fight scenes to date and, though things looked dicey for a while, Chris ultimately gets the drop on the bad guy and captures him.

Throughout the whole episode, Hondo and Deacon try to push Chris to be a bit less cynical about love. She can’t imagine liking someone so much that you’d agree to be trapped with them for days at a time, with no escape…which…I mean…SAME. Chris admits that she’s been dating someone new but that the demands of the job make it hard for any relationship to thrive. Hondo tries to push back but his track record with relationships doesn’t disprove Chris’ thesis. But when our heroes return to dry land, they’re greeted by Deacon’s very pregnant wife and Hondo points to them as proof: “relationships and this job don’t mix – until you find one that does.”

Chris decides to put her cynicism aside and call the girl she’s been seeing, Kira, for another date. Meanwhile, I’m sitting at home thinking, “Maybe don’t call her.” — Natalie

Pop Culture Fix: The Good Place’s Eleanor Is for Sure “Super Bisexual” and Other Important Developments

Welcome to your weekly pop culture fix, an e-leaflet put out by the good people of Pop’s, a diner in Riverdale, a television show.

+ Last week while we were all breathing into paper bags, William Jackson Harper, who plays Chidi, told Metro UK that Eleanor on The Good Place is “super bisexual,” and that a romance between Eleanor and Tahani would be “an interesting thing” to happen. He also… doesn’t seem to really know a lot about bisexual representation on television (rarely is a character’s bisexuality “the reason for a show,” yannow?) , but listen, who cares, he’s great and so is the Eleanor/Tahani possibility:

There’s a million different possibilities and one of the things I think the show does well, and really kind of into, is the fact that Eleanor is super bisexual and it’s not something that we just focus on. ‘It’s not the reason for the show and it’s not a thing that is harped on, it’s just who she is. I think that’s great to not just completely focus on one aspect of a person’s character because it seems to be the most buzz worthy thing in the show, or potentially buzz worthy thing on the show.

+ Sandrine Holt is playing the recurring role of psychologist Lisa Martin on Law & Order: SVU. That’s an old article I just linked to, but I have new news as revealed to us in their mediocre season premiere: her character, a psychologist, has a wife and two kids! This is big news for the notoriously lesbian-shy show, which stars Mariska Hargitay as Olivia Benson, a lesbian character who is somehow not a lesbian character. You may recognize Sandrine Holt from when she played gay in The L Word (Catherine Rothberg, Helena Peabody’s high-flying gambler girlfriend) or when she played gay in The Returned (Julie Hahn, a doctor dating a lady cop). Also, InStyle has a piece on how For Some Assault Survivors, Law & Order SVU Is Surprisingly Healing.

+ Halloween Is for Fanficking – it’s just the truth, so.

+ The Marvel’s Runaways Season Two trailer is here, and Karolina (Virginia Gardner) and Nico (Lyrica Okano) do indeed kiss within it:

+ Here is a trailer for Hulu’s new series “The Bisexual,” a show for you from Desiree Akhavan:

+ Ausiello, lord of spoilers, has this one for you about Chicago Fire:

You know how there hasn’t been a LGBTQ character on Fire since Shay died in the Season 3 premiere? I hear that’s about to change.

Also, this one:

Question: Got any Riverdale scoop? —Marie
Ausiello: Is this Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe? Because I’m giving you exactly what you ordered. Next week’s jam-packed Season 3 premiere includes all of the following: (1) the conclusion of Archie’s murder trial — although maybe not the one you’re expecting, (2) an intriguing new romantic pairing among the high school kids, (3) at least three shots of Archie without a shirt on, and (4) a shocking scene that puts one main character’s life and health in serious jeopardy.

+ Wanda Sykes opened a comedy show with Trump jokes and people WALKED OUT, and Wanda Sykes was like:

Bunch of people heckled @iamwandasykes at her Count Basie Theatre for doing a significant amount of material about our…current political climate.

Her response: “What do you expect? I’m a black lesbian.”

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 pic.twitter.com/6wQMr5QnKL

— Courtney Marabella (@CourtMarabella) September 28, 2018

+ April Blair is stepping down as showrunner on All-American for “personal reasons,” and will be replaced by co-executive producer Nkechi Okoro Carroll. The show, which premieres in October, includes Bre-Z playing a lesbian character.

+ Ellen DeGeneres had Busy Phillips on her show, where they both discussed their experiences with sexual assault.

+ The ban on the Kenyan film “Rafiki” was lifted after its director took the government to court — and now it’s the second-highest grossing Kenyan film of all time!

+ On set with Jennie Snyder Urman: a profile of the “anti-prestige” Jane the Virgin showrunner

+ The 100 Best Romantic Comedies of all time is a not a GREAT because it has Love Actually on it, and the only list Love Actually should ever be on is “most devastating moments in the history of civilization.” But it does contain some queer movies like Boy Meets Girl, Kissing Jessica Stein, But I’m a Cheerleader and Appropriate Behavior.

+ Here’s How ‘Designing Women’ Broke Fresh Ground For Queer TV Characters In 1990

+ Janelle Monae Joins Cynthia Erivo in Harriet Tubman Biopic

+ Singer Donna Missal comes out as bisexual: “my non-binary style and fluid preference has no intention of diminishing gay culture but rather embracing and celebrating it sis i’m not playing dress up and being with a man doesn’t make me less bi read: it’s not a phase.”

+ Netflix Is Planning a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure ‘Black Mirror’: I would like to choose the adventure where the entire show is just San Junipero

MAKE IT GAY, YOU COWARDS: 20 TV Shows That Just Need to Lean Into the Truth

This year’s inaugural Gay Emmys were fun, huh? There were so many gay shows we had OUR OWN EMMYS to honor them! In fact, there were so many shows that we couldn’t even fit them all into our Emmys! We left like three-quarters of the gay TV shows behind! It felt so good to see that reality before our eyes. Did it satiate us? Friends, no! It only made us hungrier! These last few weeks, we’ve been prowling around our TV Team Slack channel feeding each other’s incandescent bewilderment that all shows aren’t gay. And so of course we made a list. Here are 20 TV shows that always make us yell MAKE IT GAY, YOU COWARDS at our televisions and at each other.

The Good Place

Heather: Listen, Eleanor Shellstrop is bisexual and that’s canon and I’m not going to argue about it. HOWEVER, enough tip-toeing around her feelings for Tahani. Let’s see that attraction and affection play out ON OUR TEEVEES. The Good Place is one of my can’t-miss shows and I’m going to watch it forever. I love Eleanor and I love Chidi but I just do not buy them together. (And I am not immune to the charms of straight couple will-they/won’t-they storylines, okay? Pam and Jim are one of my all-time favorite TV couples.) Anything can happen on this show. Anything. Maya Rudolph is God. Stop forcing what’s not there, Michael Schur. You’ve done it before, do it again: Make it gay!

Valerie Anne: COSIGNED IN PERMANENT INK.

Carmen: X3.

Doctor Who

Heather: Obviously the Doctor is canonically queer. Her wife is/was River Song. Now I want to see them interact with each other while the Doctor is a woman. I’m not just saying this because Alex Kingston is one of the great loves of my life (along with Viola Davis and Stacy); I’m saying it because it adds a very fascinating dynamic to an already established story and all these dillhole straight white men have already said they won’t watch Jodie Whittaker in the TARDIS so why not just go all in, you know? “You and me. Time and space. Watch us run.” GIVE IT TO ME.

Insecure

Carmen: This is my hill, and I am willing to die on it. IT MAKES NO SENSE THAT NONE OF THE BLACK GIRLS ON INSECURE ARE GAY. I’m only a year younger than Issa Rae. I’ve known many crews of young, black “woke millennial” homegirls who saw each other through turbulent times. Do you what was true about every one of those crews? Especially in cities like LA? At least one of them was queer. It doesn’t have to be Issa (though that is a mighty lesbian wardrobe that she’s always wearing, full of graphic tees and sweatshirts and cute natural hairstyles), it doesn’t even have to be Molly, the up-and-coming lawyer. But I am putting my foot down, there’s no way that Kelli – the body positive, sex positive, hilarious, accountant – isn’t sexually fluid.

I should point out that after two years of pretending that black queer women didn’t exist at all, the currently airing season of Insecure finally paid passing homage to the women of #BlackGaySlay. Issa had a black lesbian couple in the back of her Lyft once, and she commented how cute they were. While the crew partied at Beychella, Kelli made a quip that she’d hook up with a woman because “Janelle Monae made it OK.” Which only furthers my point! She’s the one! It’s time to stop being a coward Issa, and go there already.

The Flash

Valerie Anne: The Flash is the only show in the CWDCTV universe who hasn’t given us a recurring queer lady at all over the entire course of the series so far. Arrow had Sara and Nyssa (though now has none), Supergirl has Alex, Black Lightning has Anissa, Legends is the gayest show on the CW. But the closest thing The Flash has is the relationship between Caitlin Snow and Killer Frost which is just confusing. Actually that’s not true, the closest they came was when the villain of last season took a new body that happened to be a woman and still slow-danced with his wife who he was drugging, which is worse than confusing, it’s downright awful. Give me a lesbian speedster, a bisexual meta, anything. Here, look, after a quick Google search I’ve decided that they should add Andrea Martinez aka The Comet, a canonically queer DC Comics character. And she can date Caitlin and/or Killer Frost. Boom. Solved it.

Superstore

Natalie: Superstore is the best show on television you’re probably not watching. I love it so much. It shines a light on blue collar Americans — you know, like Roseanne, but without the tokenism or the repugnant racism — and tackles the issues in a beautifully subversive and hilarious way. How could this already great show get even better? Give the people what they want, Justin Spitzer: make Dina gay!

I get why they didn’t make the character gay to start with: having this blunt, aggressive, power-hungry, arrogant, mean female character be a lesbian would’ve been a bit too stereotypical for this socially conscious show (a la Kerry Weaver on ER). But, with the fourth season of Superstore just around the corner (you’ve still got time to catch up on Netflix!), I think both the show and the character are in a place where they can take that stereotype and turn it on its head. What if lesbianing was the one thing that Dina Fox couldn’t conquer effortlessly? What if developing feelings for a woman turned Dina into the emotional mess that she’s always criticizing Amy for being? There’s so much comedy gold that could be mined, Superstore… all you gotta do is make her gay.

The Gifted

Valerie Anne: It should be illegal to have Amy Acker, who played lesbian icon Root on Person of Interest, on a TV show and not have a single lady for her to flirt with. Or even baby gays for her to support knowingly. Also it’s been said many, many times, but learning you have powers/the entire X-Men deal is such a strong allegory for queerness that it’s a damn shame they don’t have a single lesbian lurking around the mutant safehouse.

Murphy Brown Reboot

Carmen: I was approximately between two and ten years old when the original Murphy Brown aired, so my memories of it are fuzzy. Here’s the biggest highlight: Murphy Brown was at its core about feminism and the realities women face in the workplace. If the promos for the reboot are to be believed, that much hasn’t changed.

When people say a television show is about feminism, in my brain I hear l-e-s-b-i-a-n.

So.

Heather: Mmm hmm.

Westworld

Riese: At the beginning of this season Erin mentioned the “three timelines” from last season and I was like WOW this show never makes any sense to me, yet I keep watching it! Even more confusing than the three timelines? The lack of lesbian action. There’s some, sure. Like, THE TINIEST AMOUNT POSSIBLE. But not nearly enough!

Blindspot

Valerie Anne: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME PATTERSON IS STRAIGHT, FAM?! I don’t believe it. I won’t! Maybe I’ve been watching too much Critical Role, but in my humble and gay opinion, Ashley Johnson has queer vibes pouring off her and it feels rude for the show to not be leaning into that (the way it seems the video game The Last of Us is doing with the character she voices). There was definitely also a point I thought Zapata was going to fall for a lady but alas. Ever since Blindspot buried their gays so hard in early seasons, they’ve done nothing to make up for it. I don’t want to quit the show (have you SEEN JAIMIE ALEXANDER), but I need a lesbian to hook me, if you know what I mean.

Natalie: I agree with you wholeheartedly on this very important subject, Valerie — I mean, Patterson thought about getting a cat, despite the fact that she’s allergic, and if that doesn’t scream gay, I don’t know what does. You’re right, after the killing off two lesbians and shipping the other one off to Paraguay or something, Blindspot owes us this. That said, let’s be clear about something: Natasha “Tasha” Zapata is a bisexual goddess who is so clearly in love with her best friend who she (mistakenly) believes is straight. The writers need to just go ahead and make that canon.

(Also Tasha totally had a crush on Kalinda Sharma Nas Kamala but, c’mon, it’s Archie Panjabi… who wouldn’t?)

Last season, Patterson’s dad stopped by the FBI labs and everyone’s shocked to learn that Patterson’s dad is Bill Nye the Science Guy. Know who’s not shocked, though? Tasha Zapata, because she’s already done her due diligence and met her future girlfriend’s parents. And when Bill Nye discovers that Patterson and Tasha are fighting, her urges his daughter to make amends and in doing so, parallels their relationship and his marriage. Even Bill Nye knows!

It’s ironic that a show called Blindspot wouldn’t be able to recognize that the true love story isn’t between Tasha and Reade (stop trying to make me like them together, I will not!), but between Tasha and Patterson. It’s only because Patterson rejected her last season — she was mad that Tasha kept secrets about her torturous ex which, I mean: VALID — that Tasha even went to Reade. He’s the rebound. Blindspot writers, why can’t you see that?!

Single Parents

Riese: This show hasn’t started yet, so I haven’t seen it yet, but it is absolute blasphemy that a show about single parents does not feature ANY lesbian Moms.

Carmen: ESPECIALLY one that stars Leighton Meester in that blue blazer and those chucks on her feet.

Heather: Serena’s out now. You’re turn, Waldorf.

Big Little Lies

Riese: The only logical endgame here is: two beautiful women drink white wine. Cut to a shot of the beach. Cut back to a shot of the two women, except now they’re having sex.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Natalie: Sometimes when you unwittingly end up shipping non-canon couples and you talk about it publicly, people (read: the straights) start to look at you strangely. It’s not their fault really, they haven’t spent a lifetime mining subtext for some inkling of representation so, of course, they don’t get it. But, if you bring up the fact that Olivia Margaret Benson of SVU should be gay and that she and the love of her life Alexandra Cabot should be building a family together, even the straights are like, “you right.”

EVEN THE STRAIGHTS CAN SEE IT!

Last year they brought Stephanie March back to SVU for a very special episode and Alex and Olivia didn’t even end up making out! I mean, what was even the point?! You’re 20 seasons into SVU‘s run, NBC, there’s no reason that in 20GAYTEEN, Olivia Benson should still be denying what even the straights can see: SHE’S GAY.

So, so very gay.

Agents of SHIELD

Valerie Anne: Similar to why at least one of the mutants in The Gifted should be gay, same goes for inhumans on SHIELD. I know my dream ship of Skimmons will never sail, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to hope that Daisy is bisexual. I mean the name she originally chose for herself was Skye. So gay. She hasn’t had a love interest in a minute, maybe some superpowered babe can drop by next season and quake things up for her. (Get it? Quake? I’ll be here all week.)

The Rookie

Natalie: I’m not holding out much hope for the new fall season — I haven’t seen a single trailer that surprised me with any lady loving characters that I didn’t already know about — but if I have to pick the new show most likely to have a lesbian or bisexual character, I’m going to go with ABC’s The Rookie.

Now, to be sure, there’s not much in the trailer that suggests that lesbianism might be happening on the show, but “lesbian cop” is a well worn television trope for a reason. The cast boasts four main women. We know one gets involved with Nathan Fillion’s character, so she’s out, leaving: Afton Williamson, Alyssa Diaz and Mercedes Mason. The short pixie cut has me leaning in Williamson’s direction, but something about Alyssa Diaz’s swagger in her uniform has me thinking that she might be ABC’s newest queer character.

Midnight, Texas

Valerie Anne: Everyone knows all witches are queer and I’m not sure why Midnight, Texas refuses to admit it. I guess what I’m realizing is, when there is a supernatural element to a show, I cannot accept that there are no lesbians as far as the eye can see. How are you going to have angels and demons and witches and psychics and vampires and not ONE SINGLE QUEER PERSON. This town is full of outcasts and misfits, and I feel like we fit the bill, especially in a place like Texas. I really enjoyed the first season of this show but I want to REALLY LOVE it this season. So you know what to do, show.

This Is Us

Carmen: The Pearsons are an idyllic, if weepy, modern American family. They love each other across race and class differences. They share meals, and fight, and harbor old secrets for decades that they always eventually forgive each other for. They’re custom designed in the liberal Hollywood TV making factory to have you cry into a box of kleenex every week. Granted, Randall’s birth father (masterfully portrayed by Ron Cephas Jones in a historic Emmy winning performance) was bisexual, but he left us nearly two years ago!

As the Pearson family keeps expanding, it’s time for one of the women to come out of the closet. Are you trying to tell me that this is somehow the only big messy family in America without a gay cousin or aunt? I mean, doesn’t Beth Pearson come from a tribe of sisters? And a cousin who’s also like her sister? You want me to believe that zero of them are gay? C’mon!

One of the major mysteries of the new season involves a fast forward, which means we will get to know currently angsty pre-teen Tess as adult social worker Tess. An empathetic social worker with a cute wardrobe who specializes in foster care and child adoption? Sounds like she is the one we’ve been waiting for.

Supergirl

Heather: Look, I know Supergirl‘s already gay. Alex Danvers is one of my all-time favorite lesbians. I know what she had with Maggie was so special, and it was a goddamn delight and gloriously heartbreaking watching their story. I know Alex is getting a new girlfriend this season, and I am excited. BUT I have been watching Katie McGrath have queer chemistry with every woman (and inanimate object she brushed up against) since Merlin. When she came to Supergirl, I incorrectly told Valerie not to lean in too hard to the subtext in her recaps. I just thought, you know, I didn’t want another Faberry/Brittana war on our hands. Now I just have this build up of ANGSTY GAYNESS trapped inside me and have had to ask Valerie to murder me because of it in Slack more than once.

Valerie Anne: “KARA DANVERS, YOU ARE MY HERO,” SHE SAID, TO THE WOMAN WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IS JUST HER GAL PAL.

Outlander

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya: Especially because it is on Starz, which has been really great on the Make It Gay front lately (see: Vida and Black Sails), it is incredibly frustrating that in three whole seasons of historical/sci-fi/fantasy/romance series Outlander there has been nary a lesbian. EVEN THOUGH CLAIRE AND GEILLIS HAVE JUST AS MUCH CHEMISTRY AS CLAIRE AND JAMIE, A HILL (IN THE HIGHLANDS OF SCOTLAND) THAT I AM WILLING TO DIE ON. Sure, it’s based on an incredibly hetero book series, but the show has already taken some liberties by deviating from it’s source material, so is it really so much to ask for a lesbian or two or a hint of bisexuality for Claire who lbr already exudes Big Bi Energy?

Sesame Street

Riese: Sorry, I had to.

Okay now you tell us your MAKE IT GAY, YOU COWARDS television shows.