“Into the Badlands” Failed its Queer and Female Characters in the End

[Warning: Extreme spoilers for the entire series of Into the Badlands ahead.]

Back in the middle of Season Two, when Tilda and Odessa first kissed, I wrote a piece about Into the Badlands that was full of hope and excitement. I read that piece now, and all I can feel is betrayal.

I wrote it a little over halfway through the second season, which coincidentally ended up being a little under halfway through the entire series, and so many of the things I loved about the show and raved about in the piece were stripped from it one by one as the episodes ticked by.

When I pitched a series review after the show finished airing, I hadn’t watched the back half of season three, the final eight episodes that aired this spring. And what happened was sort of the opposite what happened with my piece on The Magicians, which I thought was going to be a fun pitch and ended up being a feels-fest. For this piece, I thought it was going to be an emotional ode to a show I loved, but instead it’s going to be a requiem for the fallen.

Granted, my disappointment in the final episodes doesn’t take away from the things I did love about the show. Mainly, the women. I mentioned in my earlier piece that the first two episodes pull a sort of bait-and-switch. The pilot is dude-heavy and fighting-focused, but then in the second episode The Widow appears in all her misandrist glory. There was Jade and Lydia and Tilda and Veil. They were strong and smart and fighting against their stations to gain power.

But by the end, Jade was exiled, Veil and Lydia were murdered. Even some of the newer female characters — Baron Chau, Cressida (played expertly by Lorraine Toussaint), Nix… they all met violent deaths. And we’ll get to The Widow and Tilda’s endings but they weren’t ideal.

Granted, a lot of people met violent deaths… in fact, I would argue that violence is half the point of the show. And the violence is truly art. The fighting sequences and the directing are stunning, and I swear blood spatter is its own character on the show. And their sclera contact budget was out of this world.

And in the first half of the series, most of the women who were dying went out swinging. But then Nix traveled half the world to stand up to the man who raised her as a daughter, only to have him rip her head off and leave it in the middle of the floor, discarded, disrespected.

When the show was about power and corruption, about women fighting the literal patriarchy, about children born into a cult of sorts seeing a truth of their own and escaping, it was at its best. The struggle to survive in a world designed to keep you down was a relatable one, even in this strange, post-apocalyptic setting. And the setting itself was very cool! It was like the Shannara Chronicles, where there’s no electricity, plenty of magic, and yet it’s set in a future version of our world. On Into the Badlands, people still travel by truck and motorcycle, old defunct museums are used as cult compounds, dusty, rusted-over bus depots are hideouts.

What I’m saying is, all of this, plus a bonus queer storyline, meant that the show had all of the elements it needed to be my favorite show. But things started to take a turn in this back half of season three. Suddenly the “outsiders” with powers were trying to rise up, and were being called “Dark Ones” (because their eyes went black when their powers were activated). The Widow got pregnant and suddenly became a different person, not wanting to fight anymore, staring wistfully at children. (Though she does, thankfully, join the final battle eventually.)

And Tilda! Sweet, murder baby Tilda. Queer and in love with Odessa, even had a short-lived flirtationship with Nix. Well, fine, they interacted like twice but look at how cute they were! How precious they could have been!

Her arc ends in two pivotal scenes. One is when she finds the love of her life once more, almost impossibly, in this war-torn wasteland, but Odessa is with another woman.

Odessa wants to join Tilda for this final battle, but Tilda turns to her with tears in her eyes and says that she doesn’t want that, because Tilda still loves Odessa, and if something happened to her, Tilda might not survive it. She sacrificed herself for a woman she loves.

And her final pivotal scene, Tilda jumps in front of The Widow, the woman she calls her mother, to spare her and her unborn child from an impending sword. She sacrificed herself for a woman she loves.

The final shot between these two women is The Widow holding an unconscious Tilda in her lap as they ride away, Tilda critically wounded but still with a pulse, out of the badlands.

But the final shot of the whole series is confounding — I have to imagine they didn’t know it was going to be a series finale. Because it ends with a relatively new character named Eli finding a gun. Which would certainly change the game in this sword-wielding world. But feels like a strange note to end on forever.

Or maybe it’s not. Maybe that was their intention. The idea that no matter how many big bads you defeat, there will always be a new evil lurking. That humans are incapable of forming a decent society that doesn’t oppress anyone, where violence isn’t a constant threat. But it just seemed like the original message was going to be more hopeful than that.

I’m starting to think I should have followed my original instincts, and got out when they fridged Veil to further Sunny’s plot. Maybe I should have known that just because they created badass female characters, it didn’t mean they knew what to do with them. Maybe I should have known that just because they wrote about women fighting to overcome the men that held them down didn’t mean they’d ever let them win. Maybe I should be happy that any women survived at all in the final bloodbath, and that they were there and badass to begin with.

Or maybe we’re allowed to expect more from our stories in 2019.

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “Once Upon a Time” Went and Saved the Gays For Last

Hello it is Friday and that means it is only two days until Sunday and that is Vida day! Here’s the brand new promo for this week’s episode!

And if you’re wondering how to watch Starz, Carmen has a primer on that in last week’s Boobs Tube! You can also read Carmen’s recap of the first episode right here on this very website page.

This week, Cheryl Blossom somehow managed to get even more amazing on Riverdale. Riese made you a gay Law & Order quiz. And Valerie Anne recapped a legit really, really good episode of Supergirl.

Here’s what else!

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Imposters 206: “That’s Enough. Off You Go.”

Written by Natalie

Part of the cons of Imposters‘ first season was leaving every victim with a blackmail envelope — evidence of something the victim or someone close to them had done that, if revealed, would have reverberations far stronger than whatever Maddie and her con artist sidekicks had stolen — that kept the victim from going to the police. From the beginning, we’ve known that Ezra’s envelope contained proof that his father had been carrying on a 20-year affair and that he’d stolen the patents that were the basis for the family business. We’ve known that Richard threw a football game to pay for his mother’s medical treatments…a worthy cause, yes, but public knowledge of his transgression would’ve killed his career aspirations. And while there have been hints about what’s inside Jules Langmore’s blackmail envelope, we never really knew for sure, until this week: Jules plagiarized her senior thesis for art school.

While a student at the Rhode Island School of Design, Jules had a roommate. She was a genius, her work always so surprising, her talent so enviable, but she suffered from bipolar disorder. The story is cloaked in euphemisms that suggest the roommate and Jules might have been something more, but the show, much to my frustration, doesn’t explore the connection; instead, only describing their relationship as intense. Sadly, the roommate committed suicide during their senior year which left Jules despondent and behind on her schoolwork.

With deadlines looming, Jules swiped her dead roommate’s project and presented it as her own, but she got caught…and just as Jules is preparing to accept whatever punishment RISD hands out, including the destruction of her art career, her family swoops in to save her. In the years since, Jules has carried the guilt of having her career built on this lie and resentment towards her family for saving her and towards herself for letting them.

But, ultimately, the thing that’s most interesting about the story that Jules tells isn’t the story itself, it’s to whom she unwittingly confesses: Lenny Cohen. Lenny Cohen, the fixer for the boss that’s been behind the con all along. Lenny Cohen, the fixer that’s been sent to track down Jules and the other imposters, and “recruit” them into con game (or, presumably, to punish them if they don’t acquiesce). Oh, and did I mention that Lenny Cohen is played by Uma Thurman?

Now personally, if the last girl I met at a bar had conned me, stolen all my money and propelled me into a situation where I’m running from the FBI, I might be a little more discerning about the women I meet in bars, but not Jules…she’s almost eager to unburden herself when she meets this stranger in a bar. For her part, Lenny’s remarkably honest with Jules — sure, she leaves out all the “I’ve been sent here to maybe kill you” stuff, but she’s candid about who she is — “I correct people who are in breach of contract” — and what she’s here to do. Jules is clearly charmed by Lenny’s gruffness, in much the same way she was charmed by CeCe’s when they first met, and accepts when Lenny invites herself over for dinner to meet Jules’ friends.

Jules, you in danger, girl.

Into the Badlands 303: “Leopard Snares Rabbit”

Written by Valerie Anne

This week’s episode starts with the Widow’s Butterflies showing up to the Iron Rabbit’s burrow, where Tilda and Odessa had been planning together like good little anarchy girlfriends. They were warned barely in time, and it’s really just enough to avoid a full ambush.

The fight is brutal—Tilda is forced to kill a girl she used to fight alongside, and Odessa steps in to save Tilda from the Regent, resulting is kidnapped and taken back to the Widow.

The Widow has Odessa in the cage and tries to get information from her. She wants to know who warned the bunnies in the burrow, but Odessa doesn’t budge, not even when the Widow throws in some low (metaphorical) blows, calling her “an inconsequential fling” and saying Tilda will choose her mother over Odessa someday. When she leaves her men to continue trying to extract information from her, she tells them to keep her pretty…she DOES want Tilda to forgive her eventually after all.

Tilda comes flying into Lydia’s window to seek vengeance for her girlfriend, when she’s informed that Odessa isn’t dead, just kidnapped. So Tilda marches right through the front door of the Widow’s mansion and demands an audience. Just like that.

Tilda is willing to give up her whole Iron Rabbit deal to save Odessa. And the Widow brings Odessa out, but before she’ll hand her over, she wants more than a promise that her convoys will be protected. She wants Tilda back fighting by her side. So Tilda ups the ante too: free MK.

As if on cue, MK flies in all rage and violence and Tilda talks him down in the way only Tilda can and she exchanges a knowing nod with the Widow before letting Odessa lead her out. While I’m glad they both got out of that situation relatively unscathed, and I’m glad Tilda and the Widow might work together again soon, I do fear it will be at the expense of the Tildessa relationship. Only time will tell!

Timeless 208: “The Day Reagan was Shot”

Written by Valerie Anne

Here’s the thing: If you’re not watching Timeless, you should be. I think we’ve written about it here before, so I won’t give you a full synopsis, but it’s smart and it’s fun and it’s feminist af. They don’t sugar-coat the past the way some time travel shows do, often highlighting how Lucy, a woman, and Rufus, a black man, might not have the easiest time in one decade or another. I’ve learned more about real history than anything my white/straight/male-washed history books every taught me.

And what’s more, one of the regular characters is Agent Denise Christopher, a queer woman of color. Granted, her wife (also a qwoc) isn’t mentioned much, but they made a point to let us know that Agent Christopher had a wife and kids, and even have Lucy meet them once, and making sure their timeline isn’t interrupted is always important to Denise.

This week’s episode, though, was a Big Gay Episode, and the entire plot revolved around Denise, her wife, and her gayness. Lucy and their programmer, Jiya, go back to the 80s, thinking they had to save President Reagan, but quickly realizing they actually were meant to save a young Agent Christopher. A brush with death that didn’t happen in the original timeline pushes Denise into agreeing to go through with an arranged marriage to a man, so Lucy and Jiya pretend to be a lesbian couple (appropriately named Cagney and Lacey) to try to get her to admit that being married to a man, arranged or not, wouldn’t make her happy.

Especially since that marriage would result in her quitting the police force, which would mean she never got recruited by the FBI, which means the time travel program they all use to save the world on the regular would probably never exist. Plus also she’d be fucking miserable.

At first, Denise is hesitant; her Indian family is very traditional. She watched her cousin get disowned for marrying a white guy, being a lesbian in 1981 wasn’t exactly going to be smooth sailing. Desperate, both to save the timeline but also to save her coworker and friend a life of misery she knows is avoidable, Lucy breaks all the rules of time travel and whips out a laptop and a flash drive and shows Denise a slideshow of her family in the future. Her wife, her two kids, their collective happiness. Denise’s eyes fill up with wonder and she asks, “Two women can get married?” Hearing that, seeing those pictures, it gave her hope. That moment, in a nutshell, is why representation is important. Sometimes all it takes to ease an anxiety is a promise that something is possible. Just knowing something has been done, or could be done, is sometimes enough to make it less scary. It can, in short, give you hope.

Anyway, whatever Lucy and Jiya do, it ends up being even better than the first time around, because not only did they get Denise to call off the arranged marriage, but somehow they got the timeline to change so that instead of being totally estranged, Denise’s mother is now a bigger part of her life. And of course, her wife and kids are still happy and healthy and having pizza night just as they planned.

It was a really nice change of pace to have an entire episode revolve around ensuring the lesbian character DIDN’T get shot. And Agent Christopher has worried from the start that her wife and kids might just poof from existence, so therefore that has been a worry of mine all along as well. But instead the emotional crux of this very emotional episode was giving a young police officer hope that she could be a badass FBI agent with a wife and kids someday, and helping her follow through on that plan.

Once Upon a Time 720: “Is This Henry Mills?”

Written by Carmen

Tilly’s been coerced to join Mother Gothel’s secret witch coven in order to save her father and her girlfriend, because she’s The Guardian and can hold all the dark magic in the realm without succumbing to it, which is apparently some powerful stuff (oh, man! This show! Amirite?). She’s hypnotized along with the rest of the coven; they just repeat the same spell over and over again, bringing all the world’s dark magic back to Seattle. When each member of the coven completes their job, they get turned into a tree seedlings, which means that Tilly is going to die.

Her dad, the New Captain Hook (they call him “Nook”, get it?), doesn’t quite get what’s going on because he’s still cursed and thinks he’s a Seattle Police Detective. But, he knows that something isn’t right here. He gets reinforcements, first from Detective Weaver (Rumplestiltskin, who’s already awake from the curse and VERY AWARE of what is going on here), and then from Tilly’s girlfriend Margot (Robin Hood!!! Here to save the day!!!).

The trio returns to the coven in a futile attempt to either wake Tilly or break Gothel’s magical hold on her. Margot’s so nervous, her hands are shaking! Luckily, she’s a queer girl in 2018; she’s not freaked out by a little witchy activity. She slices through the coven like it’s nothing and walks right up to Tilly.

She places a gentle hand on her shoulders and looks her in the eyes. Her voice is gentle and patient, like she’s talking to small, shaking, scared cat.

“Hey there — There are a lot of people who are really worried about you, but I know that you’re just having one of your bad days. But if you come with me, maybe we can turn it into a good one. What do you say?”

From beneath her trance, Tilly cries at the sound of Margot’s voice. A single tear breaks through, rolling down her cheek. Before the power of Margot’s love can take root, the dark magic bites back. In a bright flash, Tilly turns Margot, along with the rest of the rescue party, into a scene from Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

The season long curse breaks when, in the main plot of the episode, Henry and Regina Mills save the day. Back at the coven, everyone’s returned to normal size. Remembering who they are for the first time all year, Robin Hood takes off Margot’s glasses and runs into Alice’s arms.

They hold each other so tight, Alice’s hands turn red from her grasp. They whisper memories of love and and sweetness, their breath mingling in the cold air. Alice is overcome; she had promised Robin, no matter what, they would always remember each other. And she was right! The hero music swells and Robin kisses the love of her life like she never wants to stop kissing her, ever again.

Gothel makes one last attempt to turn Alice to the dark side, promising that they can be a family. With her father on one side of her, and Robin on the other, clasping her hand tight, Alice faces down her wretched mother once and for all. She’s not alone anymore. She’s not an orphan, she’s no longer “a crazy girl who’s lost her way”. She never will be again. With that, she uses all her magic and the love that surrounds her and turns Gothel into a freaking tree!!!!

Side Note: This is not gay, but if you’re a fan of Regina Mills and her relationship with her son, Henry — this is the episode for you! It’s a beautiful love letter to the mother/son relationship that’s been at the heart of the show throughout the last seven seasons.

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Quick Hits

Westworld 203: “Virtù e Fortuna”

Westworld still isn’t any queerer than having Evan Rachel Wood Bisexual leading the charge, but it’s still pretty fun so far, and there are a lot of women in charge of things. Dolores is going by Wyatt now and causing a ruckus as usual, Tessa Thompson took command of some soldiers, Maeve is a woman on a mission, and our girl Armistice made a surprise re-appearance. Plus we met a woman who washed up on the shores of Westworld from a safari land, and I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of her, either. — Valerie Anne

Coronation Street

Things on the cobbles have been kind of a mess lately, but this week the writers showed that their still capable of impactful storyline as news of Aidan Connor’s suicide spread across Weatherfield (Gail’s speech was a highlight for me). Grief manifests differently for everyone and for Kate, it’s mostly anger. She’s livid at her brother, chastising him for his selfishness and promising to never forgive this transgression. Rana shows up on Friday’s episodes to comfort her girlfriend, just as Kate’s anger starts to give way to grief. — Natalie

Grey’s Anatomy 1423: “Cold As Ice”

I’m happy to report that April Kepner did not die! She did get very, very cold and almost drown. It was a sort of throwback to episode 3.17 “Some Kind of Miracle”, where Meredith almost drowns, but the hospital staff brings her back to life. Anyway, April is safe and happily back in love with Matthew — the Christian EMT that she left at the altar for Jackson all those years ago. No word yet on how she’s officially leaving the show, but I’m glad that she’s getting a (off camera) happy ending!

Ok, the gay stuff! Geena Davis came back as Dr. Herman (AKA Dr. Dottie Hinson #ALeageOfTheirOwn #NeverForget). She’s even funnier than I remember and Geena Davis is obviously always a megawatt talent. I was impressed with her acting choices and how she approached Dr. Herman’s blindness. Arizona was going to leave her neonatal surgery practice behind and go back into peds surgery as part of her big move to New York, but instead Dr. Dottie Hinson offers to open up a new maternal care research clinic in NYC with Arizona at the head! It’s going to be called the “Robbins-Herman Center for Women’s Health””. No word yet on Callie, but Arizona did mention her (using her full name Calliope! heart eyes) before getting cut off mid sentence. It sounds like Callie is excited for the move and being very supportive! AWWW, YOU GUYS!!! — Carmen

Boob(s On Your) Tube: Is “Grey’s Anatomy” Really Setting Up a Calzona Reunion?

Good Calzona, friends! It’s time for another Calzona Tube with your friendly neighborhood TV Calzonas! This week Carmem reviewed Vida and interviewed both queer showrunner Tanya Saracho and non-binary actor Ser Anzoategui. (If you don’t know how to watch Vida because you don’t have Starz, Carmen has the answers for you below!) Our whole team compiled a spring/summer TV preview for you. Valerie Anne recapped Supergirl’s Worldkiller extravaganza! Kayla pondered how many Black Hoods there are, really, in Riverdale. And Dorothy Snarker explained why you should be watching Killing Eve. Here’s what other Calzonas happened this Calzona!

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Grey’s Anatomy 1422: “Fight For Your Mind”

Written by Carmen

This is one of those weeks where you have to start at the end of the story first, you know? I can’t hold it in any longer! And before I get to it — I want you to know, I solemnly swear this was not a fever dream. I promise that this actually happened. Deep breath. Are you ready? I’m ready (I’m not! I will never be ready!) — Here we go.

ARIZONA CALLED CALLIE!!!

ARIZONA CALLED CALLIE AND SHE IS MOVING TO NEW YORK!!!

When I tell you that I scrambled onto the tips of my toes Thursday night, and freaking screamed like I just won the Super Bowl —

Ok. Thank you for indulging my Calzona heart as it beats its loudest and most proud song! Now we can rewind back to the beginning of the story.

Sofia’s suspended from school (SECOND GRADE!! Where has the time gone? Also, she’s super tall now!) for stealing the class field trip money. A grand total of $1,200!!!! She wants to use the money to buy a plane ticket to New York. She didn’t want to tell Arizona about her big Ocean’s Eight Heist Plan because she didn’t want to hurt her Mama’s feelings.

Meanwhile, Arizona’s patient of the week has tomophobia, a fear of medical treatment. Her dad died during a routine appendectomy, and now she can’t imagine going under the knife without associating it with death. Which is a problem because her baby has spina bifida and needs to have surgery in utero right now. Arizona tries to reason with her. Maggie tries to reason with her. Nothing helps. The patient checks out of Grey Sloan Memorial against medical advice.

Arizona later cries with April in the hospital hallway. Her life is falling apart! She can’t save her patient. Sofia is depressed and miserable. It’s all bad. So, her best friend does what best friends do. She eats ice cream and gives loving advice that lights a light bulb and changes Arizona’s whole world. She’s a mom, April reminds her, and moms do what is best for their kids.

First Arizona visits her patient at home. She tells her that she understands toe curling, gut wrenching, phobia — perhaps more than most. You see, Arizona Robbins grew up a military brat. She moved bases a thousand trillion times as a kid, and her only stability was roller skating with her dad. They would pack boxes, move states or countries, and then she would break out her skates and all would be ok. Skates were her home. She skated (literally) through college, she skated in medical school — and as we all know, she rolled in on those skates and into our hearts during her very first day at Seattle Grace.

When Arizona was in the plane crash, there was only one thing she could think. If they amputated her leg, she would never be able to skate again. Was that irrational? Sure. But, those skates were how she defined herself. They were her heart and safety and happiness. Arizona tells her patient, she begged her wife not to amputate. She made her promise that no one would take her leg.

We all know how that turned out.

Here’s the thing, Arizona now knows, deep in her inside places knows, that Callie made the right choice. She chose Arizona’s life. She chose Arizona’s life at a time when Arizona was too wrapped up in her phobia to make that choice on her own. And she stood firm in that decision, no matter what kind of pain Arizona wailed on her. And you know what? Arizona did skate again. Callie was by her side to help her learn.

I’ll be honest with you, when Arizona first started the monologue, I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe that they were going to reduce all of those years of Callie and Arizona’s love and pain into a pair of roller skates. I was wrong. By the time Arizona wrapped up, I understood the history of their relationship through an entirely new prism of light. That’s a gift.

The monologue worked on her patient, too. She faces her fears and gets the surgery! She survives, proving her own phobia wrong and saving her baby in one fell swoop! Cheers and tears all around!

Arizona’s not done yet. She has one last hard task to do. Because she’s a mom, and moms do what is best for their kids. She waits until Sofia is asleep, and has Carina over for a candlelight dinner.

We join them at the end of the meal, Carina’s face hardened into stone. Arizona tries to plead with her; she knows that Carina will think this coddling Sofia, but she has to do what she thinks is right. She has to do what’s best for her daughter if she can, and in this case she can.

Carina slams down her wine glass on her way out the door. She whips her hair around in a fury; if Arizona’s mind is made up, then why does she care what Carina thinks? Why bother defending herself at all?

There’s a beat. The heaviest thud that never makes a sound. Arizona looks to her feet, just for a millisecond. Carina licks her lips, careening her eyes to the heavens and blinking back tears.

They never say it. And maybe I imagined it. But, that beat? In my heart, that beat rang of Callie Torres. Callie who Arizona spent the afternoon seeing in a new prism of light. Callie who a few weeks ago Arizona admitted made everything in her life make sense. And maybe it’s just that Arizona doesn’t want Carina to think she’s still in love with her ex. Maybe she’s not in love with her ex, and this truly is all for Sofia. The beat weighs all the same.

Arizona comes in close, she nods her head up to Carina’s chin and gently touches her elbows. Carina grabs her by both hands and together they share a passionate goodbye kiss like the kind you read in story books.

That’s it. Carina squeezes Arizona’s hands one last time and walks out the door.

And that is when Arizona calls Callie, her voice a little hoarse. She thinks it’s best that Sofia move home to New York. She bends down to kiss her sleeping daughter’s forehead as Meredith’s voice over reminds us all that healing is sometimes possible. Then, Arizona nervously bites her lip.

She tells Callie that she thinks it’s best if she moves to New York, too.

I don’t know if Callie and Arizona are getting back together. But, this one perfect moment, Arizona choosing her daughter and her family and the life they built together — it’s already enough for me.

We have two more episodes to go, and it’s already the sweetest goodbye.

Post-Op Thoughts:

Personal fangirling aside, I feel for Carina. Arizona just asked her to move to the United States permanently like what… a month ago? And now she’s moving to New York and leaving Carina alone. Objectively speaking, that sucks.

Thursday’s episode also gave us Arizona’s last on screen surgery, which exquisitely filmed by Jesse Williams (our own Jackson Avery).

One of my new favorite games is called “Who will be the next gay girl now that Arizona is leaving”. Today’s winning contestant is Intern Taryn Helm, AKA Hellmouth, thanks to this exchange:

Hellmouth: Any minute now, she’s going to realize that I am the love of her life —
Intern Qadri: Meredith Grey is straight.
Hellmouth: Have you heard how she talks about Cristina Yang?

Damn right, Hellmouth.

Y’all, I’m very terrified for April Kepner next week.

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Boobs Tube Special Edition: How Do I Watch Vida?

Written by Carmen

As we rolled out our Vida coverage this week, a frequent question that kept coming up in our replies was, “I don’t currently have Starz, but I want to watch this show and support! Is there any way I can do that?” I want you all to have nice things so I did some research. If your cable package doesn’t include Starz, or you don’t have cable at all (or even a television!) — Good news, you have options!

First, if you have cable, but your cable package doesn’t currently include Starz, you can just call your provider up directly. According to my research, on average adding Starz can will cost roughly in the range of $10 to $30. The benefit of this is that some of those prices are bundled, so you might end up getting some other premium channels along with Starz for the money. The downside is that it’s probably the most costly of what we are going to talk about here, and may or may not come with a minimum month requirement.

If you don’t have cable (or even a television), but you have working internet and an Amazon Prime account, you are still in business! You can direct order Starz from an Amazon Prime service known as “Amazon Channels”. Amazon Channels is a subsidiary of Amazon Prime’s ongoing video service. You cherry pick the premium cable channels you want to access (for our hypothetical purpose, that would be Starz), and pay for those channels via Amazon like you already do with books and movies. Each channel has its own monthly subscription, and Amazon will allow you streaming access to that channel’s content from the Amazon site (or Amazon video apps on mobile/ tablet/smart tv, here’s a list from Amazon that will tell you all the devices). As of yesterday, a monthly Starz subscription costs $8.99 a month. You can cancel any time from the “Video Subscription” tab underneath your Amazon account. The benefit of this option is ease, especially of you are already familiar with the Amazon website.

If you have don’t have cable/ television and you are not an Amazon Prime member, you have one more choice! Starz has its own independent streaming service! You can order it from the Starz website. This will allow you to stream Starz content directly on their website, but also on the Starz App from Apple and Android smartphones and tablets, along with most streaming television devices. You can check if your device is covered here. As of yesterday, this monthly subscription costs $8.99 a month, the same is if you ordered it from Amazon. And much like the Amazon offering, you can cancel at any time. The benefit of this choice having access directly from Starz without a third party intermediary.

If you were interested in checking out Vida, but felt frustrated because Starz is sometimes a hard channel to access, I hope that one of these options works for you! Let me know in the comments if I can be of additional help. And I’ll be back on Monday with our first official Vida recap! Woohooo!

Quick Hits

Westworld 202: “Reunion”

Nothing gay to report on this week’s episode of Westworld, unless you count the fact that I definitely got gayer when Dolores and Maeve faced off. Also someone on Twitter called Dolores the Khaleesi of Westworld and it’s so true. She’s going from group to group and telling everyone that they’re free, taking down anyone threatening that freedom. And she looks good doing it. Instead of pet dragons though she just has a pet Teddy. — Valerie Anne

Into the Badlands 302: “Moon Rises, Raven Seeks”

Tilda wasn’t in this episode much, but when she was there, she said one truth: “Veil deserves better.” And one lie: she had to give a fake name and she chose Calliope, arguably the most bisexual name ever. The preview images for next week show Tilda with Odessa so I’m hoping we’ll finally find out if they’re murder girlfriends or what. — Valerie Anne

Siren 107: “Dead in the Water”

It’s possible I’m projecting but it really seems like they’re still leaning into this possibility of a man/woman/mermaid throuple. Ryn still talks about “Ben and Madi” like they’re her humans. This week, Madi had to help Ryn out of trouble with the police/Madi’s father, and they decided to come out to him. And by that I mean tell him Ryn is a mermaid. Madi had to pour water on Ryn’s hand, causing her a lot of pain as it shifted into a webbed claw and back again. Madi gently put her hand on Ryn’s arm and apologized in a soft, kind voice and I dunno, y’all, I still ship it. With or without Ben. It’s just still unclear whether or not Ryn loves her humans romantically or is just mimicking the way they interact with each other as she learns to live among humans. — Valerie Anne

Star 215: “Let the Good Times Roll”

The record label is sending everyone to perform at New Orleans Pride. Noah, the label’s troublesome R&B star, doesn’t want to perform because it’s “gay shit”. Star rips him a new one, because she’s a true ally. Whatever. The thing I like most about the entire confrontation is that Star’s wrapping up its second year as the #2 most watched television show in all of black American households. So when a homophobic asshole gets promptly corrected, the message is getting through to the people at home. That matters. Simone is supposed to have sex for the first time with her new teen crush Angel (He’s also her husband — don’t ask! It’s a marriage of convenience! He needed a green card and she needed to get out of foster care!), but she’s worried. Angel thinks it’s because she’s a lesbian and is afraid to tell him. Simone loved Karen with all her heart, but she doesn’t love labels, so that’s not the problem. The problem is that she’s still healing from the abuse of her former foster father. We will have to deal with that soon! Also, there was lots of voguing and rainbows! The end.— Carmen

Once Upon a Time 719: “Flower Child”

Okay, so remember when I told you that Alice is The Guardian? Meaning she can hold all the dark magic in the universe, but not be corrupted by it? Good. Do you know else is very invested in capturing Alice’s gift for fancy magic? Her mother. Before her Adventures in Wonderland, Alice spent most of her childhood trapped in a tower like Rapunzel thanks to her mother, Mother Gothel (the witch in the Rapunzel story whose name I literally never remembered before this season of Once Upon a Time). Mother Gothel’s ultimate evil endgame is to use her coven of witches and make humans pay for, ugh, discriminating against magic folk? It’s a whole thing — the humans committed genocide on her family when she was a teenager. Anyway! Gothel gets Alice to join the coven and bring back all the bad magic by threatening her father and her one true love, Robin. At the mention of Robin’s name, Alice’s eyes grow three sizes! She agrees to do her mother’s dirty work, but I bet that won’t last long! ROBIN HOOD TO THE RESCUE!! IT’S TIME TO SAVE YOUR GIRL! — Carmen

Spring/Summer 2018 TV Preview: All the Lesbian and Bisexual and Trans Women TV Characters Your Heart Requires

The time has come to talk about spring and summer teevee! Okay, the time has kind of passed to talk about spring teevee, but not by too much — all of these shows that started in spring are still airing! It’s been a pretty okay year for LGBTQ women on television so far. Very few deaths, historically speaking, and a decent amount of kissing and some critically acclaimed series filled out with queer women. Summer is always an exciting time for us because it’s when the genre shows rain down in full force and we’ve always had the most representation in sci-fi and fantasy. This spring and summer, though, there’s plenty of non-supernatural dramas too. Below is every show we know about that has a premiere date. We’ll keep this list updated as new premiere dates are announced, and you can bookmark this page or reference it from the Arts & Entertainment Menu at the top of your Autostraddle Website Page.

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April 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

It’s true, these shows have already begun — but they weren’t in our winter preview, and we want to make sure they’re on your radar!

Star, Wednesday March 29th (Fox) – Season Two

Star’s a soap opera about low income, teen girls of color reaching for the music superstar dreams. It has had an impressive slate of black QTPOC representation in front of and behind the camera — including Amiyah Scott as Cotton Brown, becoming the first trans actress to play a trans woman in a regular network TV role, and out actor Miss Lawrence as Miss Bruce. It also stars Queen Latifah and is produced by out gay producer Lee Daniels. One of the show’s lead protagonists is Simone Davis, a biracial, bisexual teen who’s in and out of foster care. She’s got an unbreakable spirit and determination to go after her goals. It wouldn’t be fair not to warn you that (SPOILER ALERT) Star buried one of its gays last winter. I still find the musical soap enjoyable, but it’s something to keep in mind. — Carmen

Siren, Thursday March 29th (Freeform) – Season One

A murder mermaid temporarily shed her tail and popped onto land for a while, learning the way humans do things and then tossing them aside to do what she wants. And sometimes that thing includes kissing a girl. The girl has a boyfriend but the boyfriend is into the mermaid too so we might have our first-ever man-woman-mermaid throuple situation heading our way on Freeform in this ten-episode series. — Valerie Anne

Famous in Love, Wednesday April 4th (Freeform) – Season Two

Bisexual actress Alexis is the star of her own reality television show this season, which means regularly negotiating the temptation to ruin the lives of everybody she knows and cares about in order to amass fame and the veneer of success! What an inspirational character for us all. — Riese

Imposters, Thursday April 5th (Bravo) – Season Two

The Bumblers, including our fave, Jules Langmore, are riding high after exacting revenge on the ex that betrayed them all but things quickly go sour and the trio are forced to regroup in Mexico. Season Two promises to delve more into Jules’ backstory, including introducing us to her sister, Poppy (Rachel Skarsten). — Natalie

Killing Eve, Sunday April 8th (BBC America) – Season One

Sandra Oh has finally booked the post-Grey’s Anatomy leading role she deserves, playing Eve, a spy tracking down a notorious bisexual assassin named Villanelle (Jodie Comer). Their obsession with each other is laced with sexual attraction. And even though it’s a spy thriller, Phoebe Waller-Bridge infuses this dark world with bits of unexpected humor that Oh and Comer bring out masterfully. Killing Eve is the sexy, queer spy thriller I’ve long craved. — Kayla (warning: due to the genre of this show, steady yourself for some gays to get buried.)

Supergirl, Monday April 16th (The CW) – Season Three

Supergirl took a hiatus to sort some stuff out and I’m really hoping that means great things for the back half of this season. Our resident lesbian, Alex, is still getting over her ex-girlfriend Maggie, so I doubt she’ll have any kind of lady love until Season Four, but hopefully the show continues to focus on her relationship with Kara, and remember that the show actually is about Supergirl, not her boring ex-boyfriend. Also if Alex wanted to go on a few bad Tinder dates just for giggles I’d be fine with that, too. — Valerie Anne

Westworld, Sunday April 22nd (HBO) – Season Two

When asked about exploring Dolores’s sexuality, Evan Rachel Wood said her character is “not either a man or a woman” and, furthermore, “All I can say is, yes, there’s going to be something. I wasn’t disappointed. I was like, ‘Yay,’ but that’s all I can say.” It is very difficult to describe Westworld at all in a little paragraph in a teevee preview — because LOL I barely understand what’s going on half the time. Still it’s some of the most exciting television on television these days, even if all the queer stuff has been either deeply buried/implied or very surface level. — Riese

Into the Badlands, Sunday April 22nd (AMC) – Season Two

Season Two came back both with and without a bang. That is to say, Tilda isn’t sporting her classic bang look anymore, but it’s because she needs her hair slicked back — the better to murder men with, my dear. It looks like she’ll be slaying enemies alongside her girl Odessa this season while she works out her mommy issues. We’ll also meet a new character who really upped the murder game; she has potential to really shake things up. — Valerie

The 100, Tuesday April 24th (The CW) – Season Five

I’ll be honest: It doesn’t matter how we do or do not write about this show, someone will get mad at us because we did or did not write about this show. So, here are the facts: The 100 still boasts a badaass bisexual leading character. The 100 also unrepentantly murdered a lesbian character that set off a chain reaction of activism that changed the landscape of queer TV forever. Whatever your relationship is to this show, it’s valid. We’re not telling you what to believe. What we’re telling you is that The 100, unlike Lexa, continues to exist.

The Handmaid’s Tale, Wednesday April 25th (Hulu) – Season Two

This show remains hella dark and chock-full of queer women — one of whom (Moira, played by Samira Wiley) has escaped to Canada where she’s dealing with Gilead-inspired trauma and another (Emily, played by Alexis Bledel) who has been sent to The Colonies to dig up nuclear waste until she dies! You can read my review of it here. — Riese

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May 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Dear White People, Friday May 4th (Netflix) – Season Two

The black queer women supporting characters of Dear White People’s first season were super underwhelming, which personally hurts me because one of them was played by Nia Long — one of my oldest childhood crushes. Dear White People‘s based on the cult classic satire indie film of the same name about being a black student in a predominantly white university. The original film was produced by Lena Waithe and brought to screen by out gay writer/director/producer Justin Simien. Simien also helms the Netflix series and, according to the trailer, we can at least expect a Lena Waithe cameo in the second season! In her brief clip, she says “black lesbians” real slow and felt so good to my ears, I rewound it three times. — Carmen

Vida, Sunday May 6th (Starz) – Season One

I am so excited for you all to fall in love with Vida! Vida is about two Chicana sisters returning to their old neighborhood in East LA after their mother’s death. One of the sisters is queer. Both sisters are surprised to find out that, upon her death, their mother was married to a woman. Out non-binary actor Ser Anzoategui plays the butch lesbian widow. The show’s produced by an out queer Chicana, Tanya Saracho, and has a predominately queer Latinx writers room. It’s sooo, soo good y’all. It’s on Starz, which I know is not a cable channel that’s easily accessible for everyone, but I promise you that it’s going to be worth the effort to seek out! We’re going to be talking more about Vida in the upcoming weeks and helping you all find ways to support it — because we want you to have nice things!! And this is a really nice thing. — Carmen

Sweetbitter, Sunday May 6th (Starz) – Season One

Sweetbitter is the story of Tess, a 22-year-old who flees her old life for a new one in Manhattan where she immediately snags a job at an exclusive restaurant. Set in 2006, Tess serves an upscale clientele, hangs at an industry dive bar, learns a lot about food and wine and, mostly, learns a lot about people. One of her new friends is Ari, played by Eden Epstein, described as “a backwaiter by day and an adventurous lesbian and DJ by night.” The book was pretty good (although I was partial to it, having also been a young New York aspirant in 2006 and having waited tables in the city), perhaps the series will be even better! — Riese

13 Reasons Why, Friday May 18th (Netflix) – Season Two

I found Season One to be really f*cked up on just about every level including basic storytelling, and allegedly creators are taking this feedback into account with Season Two, which will shift its focus from Hannah’s suicide to a sexual assault trial. According to Netflix, “Liberty High prepares to go on trial, but someone will stop at nothing to keep the truth surrounding Hannah’s death concealed. A series of ominous Polaroids lead Clay and his classmates to uncover a sickening secret and a conspiracy to cover it up.” Furthermore, “Jessica’s recovery will also be explored as Yorkey looks to examine what it’s like to go from being a victim of sexual assault to being a survivor of sex assault.” Lesbian character Courtney Crimson will continue her role and sexually fluid Hannah will remain front-and-center.

Picnic at Hanging Rock, Friday May 25th (Amazon Prime) – Season One

The classic 1975 novel about three schoolgirls who vanish from Appleyard College for Young ladies on Valentine’s Day 1900 has been adapted before — Peter Weir’s 1975 film “certainly picked up on the erotic subtext” of the story, but the new Foxtel series “takes the sexual undercurrents rippling among the residents of Appleyard College and the local townsfolk and makes them a tad more obvious.” Somehow, a wooden dildo is involved. Regardless, we’re in. — Riese

Queen Sugar, Tuesday May 29th (OWN) – Season Three

Details are scant about what to expect from season three of Queen Sugar but with a focus on the “journey of fatherhood,” we anticipate Nova Bordelon exploring her unresolved issues with her late father, Ernest. We’re also keeping hope alive that 20gayteen brings Nova a girlfriend. — Natalie

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June 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Humans, Tuesday June 5th (AMC) – Season 3

Here’s what we know about Season Three of Humans: “One year after the dawn of consciousness, a decimated and oppressed Synth population fights to survive in a world that hates and fears them. In a divided Britain, Synths and Humans struggle to broker an uneasy peace, but when fractures within the Synth community itself start to appear, all hope of stability is threatened.” Pansexual synth Niska will be back, but her girlfriend Astrid isn’t showing up on IMDB as part of Season Three. I hope she finds somebody else to be queer with. — Riese

Pose, Sunday June 3rd (FX) – Season One

There has never been a show like Ryan Murphy’s Pose on TV. Ever. It boasts 50+ LGBTQ characters and the largest number of trans series regulars in American TV history. MJ Rodriguez, Indya Moore, Dominique Jackson, Hailie Sahar and Angelica Ross are all playing trans characters, and Janet Mock and Our Lady J are producing and have both been in in the writers room. You’re about to learn a whole lot about ’80s ball culture! — Heather

The Fosters, Monday June 4th (Freeform) – Finale Event

After five seasons, the Adams Fosters clan are ready to say their final goodbye. The three episode finale mini series takes place roughly four years in the future from the main body of the show. All of the Adams Fosters children have graduated from either high school or college and the entire family is coming together to celebrate Brandon’s wedding. I don’t care about Brandon Adams Foster, ever, and the trailer for the finale does little to assuage my worries. However, The Fosters really stuck the landing of their final season. They brought back heart to their storytelling and refocused their central energy on Stef and Lena. It’s enough that to have regained my trust going into summer. — Carmen

Younger, Tuesday June 5th (TV Land) – Season 5

This is a good show and I don’t care if you believe me! Yes, there’s a straight love triangle at the center. And no, resident lesbian Maggie doesn’t get as much screentime as she should. But each season gets better and better at developing her character and bringing her into the fold and the real story here is women and their careers and their friendships. The last time we saw Maggie, she was in Ireland bedding the mother of the bride of her best friend Liza’s ex-boyfriend. She also has an on-again/off-again thing with Hilary Duff’s pansexual best friend, Lauren. — Heather

Sense8, Friday June 8th (Netflix) – Finale

AHEM: “Personal lives are pushed aside as the cluster, their sidekicks, and some unexpected allies band together for a rescue mission and BPO take-down in order to protect the future of all Sensates.” — Riese

Claws, Sunday June 10th (TNT) – Season Two

Quiet Ann and the ladies of Nail Artisans of Manatee County are back using their salon to launder money for the mob, only this time, it’s for a female-led Russian mafia. As the ladies are asked to do more, they realize their own capability — they’re criminals and they are good at it — and start to think that, maybe, it’s time they became their own bosses. — Natalie

The Bold Type, Tuesday June 12th (Freeform) – Season Two

This show ended up being one of summer’s sweetest treats last year, and I can’t wait for more romance between bisexual social media maven Kat Edison and lesbian artist and activist Adena El Amin — including, apparently, a big meet-the-parents moment. I am ready to laugh, cry, and yearn for all of Jacqueline Carlyle’s power wardrobe. — Kayla

G.L.O.W., Friday June 29th (Netflix) – Season Two

When G.L.O.W. returns for its second season we will FINALLY get what we craved throughout its homoerotic first season: Yolanda, a lesbian wrestler played by Shakira Barrera. — Riese

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July 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Heathers, Tuesday July 10th (Paramount) -Season One

UPDATE 6/5: THIS SHOW HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY FOREVER CANCELLED AND WILL NEVER AIR

The initial debut of this program was critically panned, and consequently withdrawn allegedly on account of the Parkland shooting. If they haven’t changed anything about the show since their first go-around, we’ll probably hate it.

Harlots, Wednesday July 11th (Hulu) – Season Two

We return to my favorite show ever about sex workers to find the city’s top madams in an even more dramatic feud than they were in Season One —Violet’s future in peril, her religious fundamentalist gal pal doing what she can to save her, and a new judge determined to rid his city of what he perceives to be “vice.” Liv Tyler joins the cast as Lady Isabella Fitzwilliam, a wealthy woman with zero personal freedom who has mad sexual tension with Charlotte Wells. — Riese

UnREAL, Monday July 16th (Hulu) – Season 4

Traci Thoms returns as Fiona, a power lesbian television executive, in the very uneven final season of this “Bachelor” send-up. Your favorite lesbian, Faith, does a one-episode guest spot as a therapist brought in to mediate a conflict between several contestants.

Wynonna Earp, Friday July 20th (SyFy) – Season 3

Season 2 was full of goo, babies, time warps, demons, and so many ladies kissing. It answered a lot of questions, and asked a whole lot more. Season 3 promises more mystery (Mama Earp?!), drama (a cult?!!), and, of course, quality queer content. At a recent panel, when asked about the gayness of Season Three, Emily Andras said, “What’s the straightest show you can think of? I feel like Season 3 makes Season 2 look like that straight show.” Yee haw. — Valerie Anne

Killjoys, Friday July 20th (SyFy) – Season 4

With Lost Girl’s Michelle Lovretta behind the wheel, it wasn’t really a surprise, but definitely a welcome turn when the main big bad of Season 3 ended up in a relationship with another running antagonist. Aneela and Delle Seyah are a unique pairing, to be sure, but they’ve made it clear that they’d risk just about anything for each other. Their fates were inextricably linked with Dutch, Johnny and D’av’s in the Season 3 finale, so I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of these murder girlfriends. — Valerie Anne

Orange is the New Black, Friday July 27th (Neflix) – Season 6

Season 6 of OITNB promises, somehow, that it will get even darker than previous seasons as inmates are shipped out of Litchfield following the riot and sent to other prisons. We follow the women who end up in Max, where they try to negotiate a new set of prison gangs, divided by block, and an investigation into what happened during the riot that puts Taystee in a precarious legal position. Adrienne Moore, who plays Black Cindy, told The Hollywood Reporter, “Toward the end of season five, there were some people that were agreeing to stick together, and there were some people that were looking out for themselves. We’ll see the repercussions of those decisions in this next season.”

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August 2018 Queer TV Show Premieres

Insatiable, Friday August 10th (Netflix) – Season One

The coming out story of this pretty much universally panned series is apparently its only redeeming factor!

The House of Flowers, Friday August 10th (Netflix) – Season One

A Spanish-language comedy-drama program about a dysfunctional high-class Mexican family that owns a prestigious flower shop. Juan Pablo Medina plays María José, a transgender woman who has a child with her ex-wife, Paulina, who is still carrying a torch for María.

The Sinner, August 15th (USA) – Season 2

This anthology series returns with a new case and a mostly new cast for Season 2, including Natalie Paul as Heather Novak, a black lesbian detective put on the case of a boy who murders his parents for very unclear reasons in very strange circumstances.

Mr. Mercedes, Wednesday August 22nd (Audience) – Season 2

Breeda Wool will be returning as techie lesbian Lou Linklatter, according to Den of Geek. As the first season drew from Stephen King’s book of the same name, Season Two will be drawing from a few follow-up novels. — Riese

Boob(s On Your) Tube: “Westworld” and “Into the Badlands” Return With Some of Your Favorite Murderous Women

Welcome back to another Boob(s On Your) Tube! This has been quite a week! We got our first real look at Gina Rodriguez on the set of Brooklyn Nine-Nine right on the heels of our Jane the Virgin season finale roundtable. The second season of The Handmaid’s Tale dropped and Riese reviewed it. Kayla recapped this week’s Riverdale and wrote about a deleted Choni scene from last week’s musical episode. She also reviewed Disobedience, which opens in Los Angeles and New York tomorrow. Valerie Anne recapped the latest episode of Supergirl.

And, most importantly, Natalie shared some feelings about Janelle Monáe’s Dirty Computer, which finally aired last night, the very day she came out as bisexual/pansexual “free-ass motherfucker” in Rolling Stone.

Here’s what else!

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Imposters 204: “Andiamo”

Written by Natalie

Last we checked on Jules and her compatriots, they were hiding out in Mexico, trying to cobble money to get back to Scottsdale, Arizona to retrieve the million dollar ring that Richie unintentionally left behind. Just when they think they’ve got their path back all set — thanks to some forged passports — they discover that their timeline will no longer suffice. Max and Sally, the two cons that worked with Maddie, are holding Ezra’s family hostage and the Bumblers have to get back to the States immediately. So instead of waiting on their passports, Ezra finds a coyote that’ll take them across the border for the low, low price of $10,000. Desperate for quick cash, Jules is forced to tap her last resort: asking her family to wire her the money.

Imposters has been tight-lipped about Jules’ past but we’re getting a clearer picture of who Jules Langmore is this season. We already knew that Jules came from old money and that her family was still flush with cash, even after Maddie’s con, but we never knew what was inside the envelope Maddie used to keep the Langmores from going to the cops. Last week, we found out two things: first, there was some controversy about Jules graduating from art school — presumably her plagiarizing someone else’s work — and second, Jules was able to escape facing consequences for her actions because her family paid to make the problem go away. When Ezra asks if Jules is sure that her family will come through with the money, she admits, “let’s just say my family takes a certain delight in rescuing me.”

And, sure enough, her family comes through… only thing? Her sister, Poppy (Rachel Skarsten), opts to hand deliver the $10,000 they need. After hearing the full story about Maddie and how the FBI is looking for Richie, Ezra and Jules, Poppy offers the money she brought in exchange for a promise from Jules: she’ll come home after they cross the border back to the United States. Jules agrees quickly — far too quickly for me to believe she’s being even remotely sincere — and they board a bus with Ezra and Richie to head to meet their coyote. At a rest stop, Jules admits to Ezra that she’s found herself again in Mexico and she doesn’t want to leave.

“I found something that feels like it’s just mine too. Mexico. All of it. It’s odd, you know? I feel like I’m myself here, like I’ve come home to a place I’ve always known,” she says. Ezra encourages her to stay — it’s some consolation to him that at least someone he loves will be safe — and Jules agrees. It’s enough to make me a tad bit angry…on the one hand, Jules has been her best self in Mexico… she’s painting again, she’s flirting with attractive women and she looks AMAZING… but, on the other, the show wouldn’t be the same without Jules’ humor.

But I should know, after 14 episodes of this show, that nothing ever works out as planned. When Jules, Ezra, Richie and Poppy arrive to meet their coyote, they run into right into a swarm of Federales that have been searching for them. They scramble through an open air market and rush to find their coyote. Firm on not leaving for another hour, their coyote points them to another coyote who can take them immediately so they hop into the truck of cars — Jules and Poppy in one car, Ezra and Richie in another — being carried on a car hauler and begin their trek out of Mexico.

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Quick Hits

Westworld 201: “Journey into Night”

Nothing gay to report in the first episode of the new season of Westworld except for how Evan Rachel Wood made me gayer when Dolores, in her white-and-blue outfit, rode horseback wearing an ammo sash and shooting all the men who wronged her. Also it would be an honor to be murdered by Thandie Newton, just saying. — Valerie Anne

Into the Badlands 301: “Enter the Phoenix”

Tilda dropped from the sky like a murderous angel in this week’s premiere of the third season of Into the Badlands. She goes by Iron Rabbit now and her and Odessa—presumably her girlfriend now because of the tandem slayage, though nothing ws said explicitly—are going on heists together, working against the Widow, which breaks my heart but is fun to watch. There’s also a new girl in town with some cool warpaint and some killer skills. Like, literally, she has that black-eyed rage power MK used to have but she can control it and catch crossbow bolts between her fingers and it is VERY GREAT. This season should be very, very fun. — Valerie Anne

Siren 106: “Showdown”

This week on Siren, Ryn kissed Ben in front of Maddie and he was like “uh well” and Maddie was like “yeah she does that” and then they all just moved on! They live with a mermaid who kisses them both on the mouth sometimes, is all. Treated as casually as any other thing that happens on this wild and wacky show that I am enjoying very much. I’m hoping they go full throuple soon but Ryn is a little pissed at them at the moment for not letting her go full murder-mermaid so we’ll see. — Valerie Anne

Grey’s Anatomy 1421: “Bad Reputation”

The gay in this week’s Grey’s Anatomy was mostly present around the edges of this week’s main storyline. Here’s what is most important: Sofia is depressed in Seattle, and Arizona’s going to have to do something about that — SOON. Carina’s worried that Arizona coddles her daughter too much. She may have a point (Callie voiced similar concerns back when she was still married to Arizona in season nine), but I feel very Mama Bear about Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres. So, the minute Carina critiqued one of my favorite GA children, my heart turned cold. Carina’s tough love did finally get DeLuca off of Meredith’s couch though, so there’s that! Oh, and for all my Everything Sucks! fans, Peyton Kennedy has just started a multi-episode arc on Grey’s. She’s not playing gay, but hopefully her presence can be a balm in your soul during this unfortunate time since her own show’s cancellation. — Carmen

S.W.A.T. 119: “Source”

It’s great to have a woman — and a bisexual woman, at that — on this show and, while it could surely be worse, do they have to keep putting her in mortal danger every week? Last week, Chris ends up battered and bruised after fighting with a serial killer, whom she later stops, and this week, while protecting a Russian journalist, she gets stabbed with a poisonous pen. Can’t we just give the girl a break for a bit? Maybe next week they can just have her dealing with some relationship drama — what happened to that cute reporter she went out with? — so I don’t have to spend an hour worried about her fate. — Natalie

The Young and the Restless

The Daytime Emmys are this weekend and Camryn Grimes and Cait Fairbanks, the two actresses that captured our hearts in the Teriah storyline last year, are both nominated for their work. A win would be the first for Fairbanks, the second for Grimes and the second straight year the Emmys have recognized an actress in a gay storyline that had been summarily discarded by their respective shows. So, yay, daytime! — Natalie

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 518: “Gray Star Manual”

It’s been a minute since we had a solid Rosa episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but she had a rare and wonderful storyline with just Amy this week! What happened was Amy was afraid to look at or shop for wedding dresses because she has to work twice as hard as the male sergeants in the NYPD and she was afraid doing something so feminine would cause them to respect her less. But Rosa forced her into a wedding store and sat around in a teal bridesmaid’s dress while coaching her through the whole thing — until they got a call that a serial bodega robber was on the run and Amy chased him down in her wedding dress, leaping over a car and tying him up with the sash she ripped off the bodice. Rosa called her “freaking Wonder Woman.” And it was true and they both are!

The 17 Most Romantic Lesbian and Bisexual TV Moments of 2017

A lot more women than usual kissed each other on our teeves this year! Some of them even did so with the lights on! But those weren’t the only swoon-y things that we watched (over and over and over again) in 2017. There were songs and bike races and hot air balloon rides and promises of forever and allusions to some of the most romantic tropes and movies of all times. These were some of the 16 most romantic lesbian and bisexual things of the year.

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Marceline sings a new song for Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time

Heather: On the way to Marci’s house with her dad, Finn and Jake said “maybe” she has a girlfriend, and then when they showed up she was lounging around in Princess Bubblegum’s sweater from the “Stakes” mini-series. Off they went to Marceline’s solo concert where she sang her most — her only? — romantic song ever, “Slow Dance With You.” Quite a journey with PB from “I’m Just Your Problem.”

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Niska and Astrid fall in love against all odds, Humans

Valerie: “Nika and Astrid’s issues weren’t what you would expect — it wasn’t a Synth/human scandal, it wasn’t a woman/woman scandal. It was Niska running away from her feelings (which had more to do with feelings being new than anything else) and Astrid not letting her. It was a surprising happy place amid the carnage, and even though so many people — humans and Synths alike — didn’t survive the season, our lady-loving ladies miraculously did.”

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Alex and Maggie’s first morning after, Supergirl

Heather: After fighting their feelings for each other for months (and a lifetime of Alex fighting her feelings for girls), Maggie and Alex had sex for the first time and woke up the next morning dappled in sunlight, dressed in each other’s clothes, smooching contentment and disbelief. To be honest I kind of couldn’t believe it was happening either.

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Tessa and Mariah’s first kiss, The Young and the Restless

Natalie: “The racing heart, the long conversations that are never, ever long enough, the regret of any day spent apart. Mariah feels all of that, she just doesn’t feel it for Devon. It is not a small thing for Y&R to cast Mariah’s love for Tessa in the same mold as one of the show’s great supercouples, Nick and Sharon. It’s a normalizing force for a conservative audience that might not view a same-sex story that way.”

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Kat and Adena’s Before Sunrise escapades, The Bold Type

Heather: Kat and Adena are my favorite TV couple of 2017 and while they have plenty of swoon-y moments to choose from, their blanket fort escapades in the airport the night before Adena was deported were my favorite. Even the title of the episode was drawn from Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise, one of the most romantic movies of all time. I was willing to suspends all my disbelief for this episode, including Kat and Adena having uninterrupted sex in the airport lounge, a full night of sleep in each other’s arms, and Kat not giving Adena her first class ticket when she decided to stay in NYC.

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Gail and Erica Get Married, The Last Man On Earth

Riese: Gail and Erica’s relationship was initially written off as a thing they did before realizing they weren’t the only human beings left on earth, but eventually after three seasons of other pursuits, their union revealed itself to be the truest and most honest thing either had ever known.

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Paige and Emily’s last bike race, Pretty Little Liars

Heather: This was some hardcore Paily fanservice and, let me tell you, for suffering through the last few seasons of this show, we deserved it. Bikes? Check. Musical montage? Check. Camera swirling kissing? Check. It wasn’t going to last and everyone knew it, but for a shining moment everything was right in Rosewood again.

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Odessa asks Tilda to run away with her, Into the Badlands

Valerie: “I’ve mentioned before that too often kisses between two women are cast entirely in shadow, or are a quick peck in the middle of a camera transition. But not here, not now. The camera loves them and the music swells lovingly and the light glows softly as they kiss and kiss and kiss. Meanwhile I am pressing my hands to my face so hard my eyeballs almost pop out of my head. Everything’s fine. EVERYTHING’S FINE.”

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Tig and Stephanie’s whole storyline, One Mississippi

Heather: Look, do not fall in love with a straight girl. But if you do make sure it’s your soul mate. I know, I know, Stephanie’s not straight, but she sure thought she was for a long time, even though me and you and Tig knew she was very much in love with another woman and therefore was not straight. When she finally confessed it, Tig said, “…but?” And Stephanie said, “No, but. Just … and.” And I for one have still not recovered.

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Zoë and Rasha’s first kiss, Degrassi: The Next Class

Riese: There were so many fraught elements to this union — Rasha, a Muslim Syrian refugee, was scared to come out to her host family, which included their classmate Goldie, and Zoe didn’t know if Rasha was gay or not, and they were both just generally young and nervous and insecure. When their first actual date gets so complicated it ends up ending before it begins, Rasha fears their union is doomed, telling Zoe it’s okay if she’d like to call it off, after all, Zoe is fearless and beautiful and can have any girl she wants! Zoe is like, wait, YOU ESCAPED ACTUAL WAR JUST TO BE ON “DEGRASSI THE NEXT CLASS” AND YOU’RE CALLING ME FEARLESS? Then Rasha kisses her. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore, she says, as melodic acoustic hipster music swelled and the light hits their faces just so. Young love, y’all. Sweet and against all odds and despite all closets and obstacles and fears, there we have it.

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Cosima and Delphine’s clone-saving mission, Orphan Black

Heather: Delphine sacrificed everything for Cosima, and to keep her promise to keep Cosima’s sestras safe — and the whole time everyone kept expecting her to reveal that she the ultimate bad guy. Well, not only did that turn out to be untrue, we actually got to watch her and Cosima join forces and work together to save the day. The episode also included their sexiest makeout and Cosima in this tux.

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Waverly and Nicole fall in love in a parallel dimension, Wynonna Earp

Heather: Two women falling in love in alternate universes where they’re with completely different people and don’t even know each other is what fan fiction dreams are made of. If Waverly and Nicole had had to take off their clothes to share their body heat to stay alive in this episode, it would have been the most romantic moment in all history on any space-time continuum.

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Lyria asked Eretria to be her queen, The Shannara Chronicles

Heather: In another year one or both of them would be dead, but not now! And even better, when Lyria was asking Eretria to be her queen she said they deserved a happy ending. “People like us,” she said. (Like you and like me!) They’re not together yet because Eretria has to get a handle on her darkness, but their sweet, slow kiss goodbye felt more like a pause. And it didn’t end with anyone getting shot with a stray bullet.

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Stef and Lena’s Notebook-style makeout, The Fosters

Heather: Stef and Lena have gotten married so many times now and every new time it’s better than the last. This most recent one, especially, because it started raining and all their million kids and their guests rushed inside but they just stood out in it open-mouthed kissing each other and promising forever.

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Amelia and Violet’s second kiss, Harlots

Riese: Amelia had been raised by her evangelist mother to see sex itself as evil, let alone women having sex for money, let alone falling in love with a woman who has sex for money and then kissing her on the mouth! So when Violet kissed Amelia after a gradual sexual tension build, it wasn’t surprising that Amelia immediately freaked out — which made Amelia’s return to Violet, and her eager kiss, that much sweeter.

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Nomi and Amanita get engaged, Sense 8

Sense8 was cancelled way too soon, but in the season two finale, Nomi and Amanita did get engaged! Jamie Clayton’s post-season interview with The Hollywood Reporter was almost as beautiful as the on-screen moment. “It’s just another testament to the strength of their relationship and how they’re on the same page. That’s the beauty of love. Even if you take two different roads, if you end up at the same place, that’s the most important part about love,” she said.

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Honorable Mention Even Though They’re Not Technically Gay: Grace and Frankie take a hot air balloon ride, Grace & Frankie

Riese and Erin: “When Frankie tells Grace she might be moving to Santa Fe, everything gets much gayer very quickly. Everything gays right out of control. Every word spoken is a word unspoken, and also a word that could easily precede the words “you have to stay because I am in love with you.”

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As always these are the individual opinions of our writers and editors and we’d love to hear your additions, preferably bolded and in all caps with as many exclamation points as possible!!!!

“Into the Badlands” Is Here to Quench All Your Gay “Game of Thrones” Thirst

“Never judge a show by its pilot,” is a motto I try to live by, and Into the Badlands is the perfect example of why this is a good way to live. Even I forget it sometimes, and almost let this show slip through the cracks; I watched the first episode with my dad once, and while it was visually stunning and the stunt choreography was brilliant, it was a dude-fest and I thought it was going to be an hour a week of fighting for fighting’s sake, lacking plot. Women barely make an appearance at all; maybe a brief cameo by the Baron’s wives, positioned as only that. Plus at the very end, we met a woman they referred to simply as “the widow.” (What I didn’t know at the time was that it was actually The Widow, but we’ll get to that.)

So I decided not to watch it. I watch way too many shows as it is, I don’t need another one if it’s not going to be feminist, queer, or both.

Cut to a few months later when I see more and more talk of Into the Badlands on my timeline, women whose TV opinion usually aligns with my own just raving about it. And then I was given the advice I usually give but forgot to take: Don’t judge the show by its first episode; watch at least one more before you make your decision.

The second episode starts like this.

And, as far as my interests go, the second episode felt like an entirely different show. It was still beautiful and gritty, but now the fight scenes weren’t just men; and even the women who originally seemed positioned as “Sunny’s girlfriend” and “the Barons wives” stepped out of the shadows. There’s Lydia, the older but wiser Baroness who will protect her family at all costs. Veil, the best doctor in the Badlands. And Jade, the Baron’s soon-to-be new wife and the master of secret manipulations.

And of course, The Widow and her girls, dubbed The Butterflies. A band of girls with killer fighting skills and butterfly-shaped throwing knives.

See, the Badlands are broken up and ruled by seven different men and women called Barons, and a lot of the conflict in the show has to do with the balance of power between them (or lack thereof.) Most of the Barons run estates, but The Widow, upon her husband’s death, went rogue and has been rescuing girls from brothels and servitude and training them to fight, for her and for themselves.

The Widow’s right hand girl is Tilda, a baby butterfly who we have had the pleasure of watching evolve since her first appearance. She grows bolder and bolder, and in season two she’s given the title of Regent, sworn to serve and protect The Widow (who the girls call Mother) at all costs.

In the first season, Tilda and a young man named MK had a little flirtationship, but they found themselves on very different paths in season two. Instead, Tilda’s path lead her to Odessa, one of the girls rescued from a “dollhouse” (what they call brothels in this post-apocalyptic world) and frankly the first rainbow flag (get it? like a red flag but gay?) was when I noticed Tilda said “Odessa” more times than was strictly necessary. Not unlike our favorite Trikru Commander. It becomes clear she’s taking a liking to this ex-doll and she seems to be the only one whose name Tilda bothered to learn.

In this most recent episode, “Leopard Stalks in Snow,” we see Tilda and Odessa talking one-on-one. Odessa wants to leave the Butterflies; she’s been property of Barons her whole life, and isn’t sold on the idea that The Widow is any different than those who owned her just because she lets them call her “mother” instead of “master.” Tilda insists The Widow is different, and explains why. We knew a little bit about Tilda’s backstory, but it was mostly hinted at before; now she tells Odessa in full detail: Tilda was a servant in the Baron’s house and he used to sneak into her room and rape her every night, until one night he did more than that and the Baron’s wife could no longer live in denial. Tilda says The Widow came to her in the morning and apologized for not killing him sooner. And as much as I don’t condone murder in real life, a triumphant chorus of The Cell Block Tango (“he had it coming!”) rang out in my head when she finished that story. My note for this part of the story read simply yet joyously, “She widowed her damn self!”

Odessa’s heart visibly breaks for our little butterfly and though she still isn’t sure she trusts The Widow, she’ll stay with the Butterflies for now…for Tilda.

And then she goes in for a kiss.

Tilda looks alarmed at first; she surely wasn’t expecting it. But after a few beats of her eyes flicking back and forth from Odessa’s eyes to her lips, Odessa goes in for another kiss. And this time, Tilda returns the kiss with fervor.

I’ve mentioned before that too often kisses between two women are cast entirely in shadow, or are a quick peck in the middle of a camera transition. But not here, not now. The camera loves them and the music swells lovingly and the light glows softly as they kiss and kiss and kiss. Meanwhile I am pressing my hands to my face so hard my eyeballs almost pop out of my head. Everything’s fine. EVERYTHING’S FINE.

Who knows how long they would have sat by the end of that fountain if they weren’t interrupted, but interrupted they were, by The Widow’s advisor, Waldo, who says Tilda is needed elsewhere. Tilda panics but Waldo cuts her off before she can bother lying about what just happened. He doesn’t care who she’s with, and what I like is that, at least for now. It’s unclear whether Tilda’s panic and Waldo’s disinterest has to do with Odessa being a girl or a fellow Butterfly. He just warns her about getting her feelings too tangled up in someone. It’s advice he gave Sunny, it’s advice he tries to follow himself; emotions can get you killed in the Badlands.

And if that’s true, I’m doomed, because Tilda fills my whole heart and I want to protect her like she is my own and I want her to fall in love a thousand times if that’s what she wants.

It’s such a great feeling to genuinely be loving a show despite it’s lack of queer content and then be gifted with such a thing. The ladies all get fiercer with time and I think this Tilda/Odessa storyline will get some love in the coming episodes.

Fun queer tie-in, Jade is played by Sara Bolger, who also played Aurora (Mulan’s unrequited love) in Once Upon A Time.

And even though this is unrelated to everything I just talked about, it IS related to me trying to get you to watch this show with me: Madeleine Mantock is amazing at livetweeting.

https://twitter.com/madeleinemgm/status/856332149405831169

Anyway, in conclusion, I’m excited to see where the Tilda/Odessa storyline goes; this show is short on episodes (six in the first season, ten in the second) so they’re not ones to throw away storylines. Every narrative choice is purposeful and followed through, so whether this lasts one more episode or the rest of the season, I believe it will be well-thought out and discussed at length.

Tune into the next episode of Into the Badlands on Sunday at 10pm EST on AMC. (I know! AMC again! I never regretted not watching The Walking Dead until I found out AMC was also harboring gems like Humans and Into the Badlands that I missed out on because I don’t watch the channel and therefore don’t see their commercials.)

The Widow and I will see you there.