You Should Go: The Pushovers Are All-Lesbian Pop Rockers, All Ready to Perform in DC

The Pushovers are “an all-lesbian” pop-rock crew gearing up for a “gender bending” festival performance. Are you sold yet?

Guitar, bass and drums. 3-part harmonies. Beatboxing and songwriting. When three experienced singer-songwriters come together from Brooklyn, Washington, DC, and Baltimore, it’s gotta have promise. Mara, Nancy and Liz have all toured nationwide but are just now recording their first EP together (and need YOUR HELP to produce it!) as The Pushovers versus individually. When their combined starpower is among us, I think shit’s gonna get bright.

And if you want proof, you can see ’em for yourself.

The Pushovers are performing at the Atlas Theater’s INTERSECTIONS festival on March 9 in Washington, DC for an hour spot. After the show, Out @ Intersections happy hour will provide for solid boozing.

The Pushovers: Live at the Atlas is 15 dollars (10 for students and seniors). The performance takes place at the Atlas Performing Arts Center at the Lang Theater, at 1333 H St NE in Washington, DC, on March 9 at 5:30 PM. Ages 12+. Buy tickets today! (PS — hit up Dangerously Delicious pies while you’re over there. Safe bet for an amazing night.)

You Should Go: Raise The Roof While Raising Funds For The Transgender Law Center in Boston

This Saturday, March 2nd, spring is in the air, the moon is in Scorpio, and a bunch of charitably-minded, dance-ily-spirited, Boston-area folks will be in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, at the infamous Midway, for the Fancy Pants Dance Party & Fundraiser. You’re one of them, I bet! You’re texting your queer phone tree. You’re daydreaming about ironing your fanciest pants. You may also want to iron your money, because your cover ($7 before 10 PM; $9 after) will benefit the Transgender Law Center. Which means that instead of getting scrunched into a tip jar, your Saturday night party dollars will go to a group that:

“works to change law, policy, and attitudes so that all people can live safely, authentically, and free from discrimination regardless of their gender identity or expression”

and

“envisions a future where gender self-determination and authentic expression are seen as basic rights and matters of common human dignity.”

Seriously, the Transgender Law Center is important. They connect transgender people and their families with legal professionals and resources, hold public workshops to educate communities about trans* issues, and win legislative victories. Many good things have happened because of them: for example, trans* people in California can now amend their birth certificates no matter where they live, and TSA managers at Los Angeles International Airport have to undergo sensitivity training. Basically, dollars that go there are heroes.

Plus, it’s at the MIDWAY. As anyone who’s ever braved Queeraoke knows, a Midway event guarantees the following:

– pickleback shots
– really close dancing
– someone holding the bathroom door shut for you and becoming your Instant Best Friend
– taking a break from all the dancing to try out your historical gaydar on the wall of black-and-white photos
– “cheap, strong drinks and cheap, strong ladies”
– memories*

But that’s just for weeknights, and this is a Saturday; fittingly, they’ve kicked it up a notch. There’ll be a raffle for toys (the sexy kind), courtesy of Good Vibrations; a photo booth, to commemorate your dazzling smile. “Motown, 90’s, Top 40, Dance, 80’s, One Hit Wonders,” and whatever else you want to hear, especially if you pre-request it on the Facebook page. And surprise guests! So come on down. JP’s not THAT far away.

*memories actually not guaranteed.

The LGBTQ Side of SXSW: OUTLander Spring Festival

After noticing a surprising lack of LGBTQ friendly media at Austin’s annual South by Southwest Festival, the good people at One More Lesbian hooked up with The OUTLander Project to do what most of us like to talk about in theory but don’t ever actually put the effort into doing ourselves. (Not because we’re lazy. We’re just busy, ya know.) The OUTlander Spring Festival will take place from March 8th through 16th during SXSW and will be the largest showcase of local, national, and international LGBTQ musicians performing over five days right in the heart of one of the iconic events of the music industry. In conjunction with Tello Films, OUTlander and OML are showcasing a ton of web series during an event called Main Screen. Among them are Autostraddle’s very own web series Unicorn Plan-It and Words With Girls. PLUS Julie and Brandy’s new venture on Tello, Gay Street Therapy because they want to help you…sort of.   March 9th at Oilcan Harry’s in Downtown Austin you’ll be able to catch screenings of the aforementioned web series and a three song set by Unicorn Plan-It co-creator/writer/producer/star Haviland Stillwell. She performed at the Oscars. Did you know that? The event kicks off with a networking happy hour from 3-5pm featuring a DJ set from Girlfriend ATX, drink specials from LGBT owned and operated Frot Vodka, and catered food from lesbian owned El Sol y La Luna. After you’re stuffed on gay food and drink, you’ll be able to settle in and check out episodes, exclusive premiers, and trailers for the other web series featured: Once You Leave, Orange Juice in Bishops Garden, Lips, Easy Abby, Cowgirl Up, I Hate Tommy Finch, The Throwaways, Kiss Her I’m Famous, Lez Find Love, and Kam Kardashian. AND there will be other musical performances from Stirling and Goddess and She sprinkled throughout. Since they know that watching lots and lots of women prancing across screens, being witty, funny, dramatic, and/or adorable will make you want to find your own series of lesbian events, there will be a dance party from 10pm-2am to close the event. In conclusion, if you are going to South by Southwest, live in Austin, or really really like LGBTQ media and music, go to Main Screen and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

Phenomenal Fun Photos From Phresh Cutz February Fundraiser

Hey girl, your hair looks really good today and your outfit looks superfly. Could it be that you attended Phresh Cutz, a queer pop-up barbershop and clothing swap in Brooklyn this past weekend? I wouldn’t be surprised, because everyone there had really good hair and really awesome clothes…

If you couldn’t make it don’t fret. Per usual we’ve rounded up a collection of crazysexycool images that reflect the perfection of this party, and now comes the part where we show them to you! And don’t worry, even if you couldn’t make the party, you still look awesome today. I promise.

Photographs © Ronika McClain, Julieta Salgado, and Zulai Romero 2013.

Autostraddle received all images from the photographers — if you see a photo of yourself here that you do not want on the Internet, please email carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com so we can remove it.

You Should Go: The Founding Meeting of the Queer Baltimore Young Adult Coalition with Dapper Jill

This Saturday, the young queers in Baltimore are taking one big step forward toward finding and loving one another.

Dapper Jill, an A-Camp donor and alum and extremely well-dressed human, has taken a step toward a smarter, better, faster queer community in Baltimore by organizing the very first meeting of an all-new gay organization in her city: the Queer Baltimore Young Adult Coalition.

The coalition, which will meet for the first time on March 2 at 4 PM, is pure in purpose: a monthly discussion and social action group dedicated to forging queer spaces in the city of Baltimore. Jill’s hope is that social engagement and the fraternization of young queers will birth a new world with fun and exciting opportunities to meet friends, more resources for LGBTQ people and their allies, and a new and unique group of youngsters running shit. The inaugural meeting will be the time and place for queers to come on out and be heard, as well as help craft a mission statement, action plan, and list of issues addressing the community at the current time.

I was able to steal Jill’s attention away from her city’s bright future for a couple minutes to ask her some questions about the QBYC and where she hopes it’s going, as well as where it came from. Her answers were real sweet.

I love you. Tell me about your background in queer activism. And what’s your relationship with Baltimore about?

I’ve usually been the ‘leading by being a follower’ kind of thing. But now I’ve been an art director at a small-scale queer zine, I’ve interned at LGBT non-profits, and now I’m on the Board at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore. My current narrative is one of being that wrench in the good-ol’-gay cogs and being like, ‘dude, what about the queer folks?’

I also do some LGBT work at my employer (a well known art school in the Baltimore community) as a facilitator for our Safe Zone Trainings. This past summer I did a presentation on western LGBT intersections with Japanese media consumption, and y’all did a lovely article on that too.

My relationship with Baltimore is one of… well… It’s like I had a silly fling with Baltimore when I was in elementary school, and I just thought it was cute for us to hold hands and do butterfly kisses. Then we grew apart. Then I met them in a bar like, 15 years later, and we’ve been fucking like crazy and learning so many new things about each other.

A rekindled puppy-love turned fuck-buddy flame, if you will.

What brought you to create the QBYC? 

I wanted to start creating a new legacy for the LGBTQAI/SGM/Queer scene here in Baltimore.

You look at the history of segregation and division in the Baltimore community at large – and it has a very large impact on so many of the intersecting communities here. Identifying the nitty-gritty of the problems is going to be QBYC’s initial action, but this roadblock is the major problem I’ve come across in doing any sort of action here in this ol’ town on the Mason Dixon. I feel that queer youth can start making a path towards more collaboration and teamwork. Plus, the staple scenes here in Baltimore are so white and cis-male – that needs to be dismantled and questioned in a constructive way on a regular basis.

It’s also important to note that I’m not creating this thing, I’m facilitating the birth. If anything I’m this thing’s midwife. It’s gonna be messy.

What sort of goals do you have for the coalition once it’s sort of off the ground? 

I want it to be a place where people can go for social support, to make a difference, to change and ignite Baltimore – I want it to forge queer spaces so people don’t feel so isolated in the small selections of accessible options they have for social engagement.

I want to facilitate community leadership in this queer community – and my passion is in my gut and illustrated in my droopy eyes!

You can attend the first-ever meeting of the Queer Baltimore Young Adult Coalition this Saturday, March 2, at 4 PM. The meeting is being held at the GLCCB HQ at 241 West Chase St, 201201.

You Should Go: Soapbox’s Feminist Summer Programs for Badass Chicks of All Ages

In 2010, I pretended I was dropping out of school.

I had just moved into a house off-campus where I engaged, for the first time, in unsupervised recklessness, recovered from a semester-long “sabbatical” in which I wore readers and oversized sweaters with leggings every day, and was stuck in the middle of a severe caffeine addiction that required I drink coffee from my reusable mug no fewer than five times a day. (In other words: it was very much so the beginning of the rest of my life.)

And instead of going to the first, or second, days of class, I was in New York City at Soapbox Inc.’s Feminist Winter Term.

Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner, co-authors of the world-famous Manifesta, have been working on developing, growing, and sustaining feminist programs since 2007 – when they held the first-ever Feminist Winter Term. They were my hosts when I registered for the program, and we even met in Amy’s apartment. Together, the two women put together an impeccable adventure for us, a group of wily and wide-eyed teenagers exploring New York City for the first time with fresh eyes. And what better guides could we ask for?

At the time, when I registered for FWT in January of 2010, I was convinced that I would spend the rest of my days in feminism. (I still am.) Feminist Winter Term was a confirmation that I was in the right place and on the right path; it was a place where I communed with fellow teenage feminists and daughters of single moms, fellow rabble rousers and fellow bad bitches, and even super important people in the movement, all face-to-face. Now it’s 2013 and the entirety of the Feminist Camps structure has been redone, revamped, rebuilt, and restructured for more participants of all ages and more opportunities to create change. It’s amazing! But was I ever so young?

I would give a lot to be nineteen and rubbing elbows with Shelby Knox over Chinese takeout again, reading over manuscripts at the Feminist Press, traversing Manhattan and its boroughs in search of the right big buildings and feminist landmarks. It was the trip to Manhattan where I  first networked with the future of feminism, when I saw Babeland and Blue Stockings for the time. We went to Bust Magazine HQ, sat in the conference room of the Ms. Foundation for Women with leaders of nonprofit organizations, spoke with educators and administrators in feminist-focused graduate and PhD programs. We got our shit together and vibed with each other, got to know one another and then made plans to take over the world together.

You can have that.

Soapbox Media announced registration for its three Feminist Camp programs last week; they offer programs of varying lengths and programs built specifically for different audiences and clusters of humans. Each camp provides participants with the opportunity to explore New York City, make new friends and connections, and play a part in a movement that will, by the end, completely humble them.

To register for any of the feminist programs Soapbox offers, you’re going to need a pretty penny and all of your personal information – if you do, then do not pass go and report directly to the Soapbox website to register. If you need financial assistance, reach out to the team and see what they can do for you – I inquired with the staff and found out that Soapbox has been offering one full and several partial scholarships each semester based on need and a mini-essay contest.

Here’s a little overview of the three programs offered this round. Registration is wide open!

FEMINIST CAMP: JUNE 2-8, 2013, $1500

Feminist Camp is a transformative week of feminism in action that can’t be found anywhere else.

Each day is organized by theme—Reproductive Justice, Sexual Power, Feminist Art, Philanthropy, and more—and we always include a Career Day that offers concrete information for entering the work world.

Feminist Camp is open to all who are interested in learning more about transforming feminist theory into practice. It is especially recommended for upperclass undergrads and recently-graduated individuals. We’ve hosted students of all genders, races, religions, nationalities and ages. We’re committed to accessibility and will make appropriate accommodations for anyone interested in the program.

The $1,500 program fee includes housing, breakfasts, most lunches for five days, all programming, and a weekly MetroCard. The fee is $1000 if housing isn’t needed. This fee does NOT include transportation to NYC, dinner, and other entertainment you choose to pursue on your own. We estimate $20 to $50 a day to cover these additional expenses.

I also happen to know, because I’m very privy to important information, that this year Feminist Camp will hopefully include a day on Women and Prison, the always-popular Reproductive Justice Day (tour of an abortion clinic, adoption agency, and home for parenting teens; meeting with the Doula Project and the legal resource National Advocates for Pregnant Women), Philanthropy, Bodies &  Power, and Career Day (which features mini-internships).

FEMINIST INTENSIVE: JUNE 19-21, 2013, $1500

The Feminist Intensive program was developed to bridge perceived gaps between academia and activism; to introduce faculty to diverse research undertaken outside of the academy and experience practices that have yet to be documented or codified into theory; and to create a larger community of feminist teachers and scholars. The $1,500 program fee includes the program fee, meals, and a Metrocard. This fee does NOT include transportation to and from NYC or other entertainment you choose to pursue on your own.

FEMINIST DAY CAMP: JUNE 24-28, 9AM TO 3PM DAILY, $1000

At Feminist Day Camp, rising high school juniors and seniors hone their leadership skills, meet inspiring activists, and tackle the real issues that impact their lives. Each day sounds a different theme—from media to mentoring—and participants will leave recharged and ready to positively impact the future.

Soapbox Feminist Camps are week-long feminist intensives. This program costs $1000 for the week and does not include housing.

Another sneak peek: this year Feminist Day Camp, which is a new program, will include workshops with Arts Effect (a feminist all-girl acting troupe) and the spoken word artist Kelly Tsai and media training with Jamia Wilson! (You may remember her from my Can’t A Bad Bitch Use Twitter Anymoar article.)

If feminism is your life blood, coffee is your source of inner power, and you have any inkling as to how to navigate the New York City Metro Area public transit system, register for one of Soapbox’s Feminist Programs today. I made long-lasting connections through this program and I was barely born! You’ll get the world out of it if you dream it so.

And if you’re really lucky, maybe you’ll get a career out of it, too.

Autostraddle’s Guide to Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend 2013 in Palm Springs

Some people never learn their lesson. And some people learn their lesson and still want to non-ironically rap “The Motto” while surrounded by hoards of queer women trying to avoid heat stroke while having the time of their lives. Only one of those kinds of people will be at Dinah Shore this year. At this point in time, Dinah Shore 2012 is kind of a blur. I don’t exactly remember why I had a great time but I’m certain I did and that I will once again this year. I won’t be the only one. The cast of Unicorn Plan-It along with some members of the Words With Girls team will be there.

We’ll be taking part in certain festivities of which there are many. Here’s what we’ll be doing April 3rd-7th in Palm Springs, CA and what you should make a valiant effort to do before walking to the 7/11, buying chicken fingers, and then accidentally napping for three hours. Don’t worry, no one will notice.

Thursday, April 4th

Thursday Night Comedy
Zoso Grand Ballroom, 7:30pm
Fortune Feimster (Last Comic Standing, Chelsea Lately, After Chelsea) is headlining the comedy show which will also feature Suzanne Westenhoefer, Jackie Loeb, and Jacqueline Monohan.

Friday, April 5th

TGIDF Pool Party
Hilton Hotel Main Pool Area, 12pm-5pm
Autostraddle (that’s us) presents Thank God It’s Dinah Friday. The first pool party was my favorite last year. It’s when most people are arriving and everyone still has a sparkle in their eye and a pep in their step.

Canadian pop artist Anjulie will be performing her hits “Boom” and “Brand New Bitch”. When she’s not on stage, the Dinah DJs will be playing and I must admit, I do enjoy their musical selections because they tend to play songs that have words which is key.

Autostraddle Meet-and-Greet
The Autostraddle Lounge, Hilton Hotel, time TBA
Alsoooo, we will have an Autostraddle Lounge situation happening. You will be able to come by and hang out with us (Sarah Croce, Haviland Stillwell, Lauren Neal, Ashley Reed, Brittani Nichols, Sarah Sokolski) or just pretend like you’re interested in who we are as people so you can get out of the sun for a bit. We can’t tell the difference.

The Dinah Film Festival
Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom, 6:30pm
Second Shot and Out in the Desert will have their exclusive world premieres. Second Shot, starring Jill Bennett (3Way, We Have to Stop Now, And Then Came Lola) and co-created by Nancylee Myatt (South of Nowhere, Living Single, Cowboy Up) is an LGBT sitcom about an ex-soccer player who inherits her hometown’s tiny gay bar. There she’s forced to face her first love who happens to be “the one that got away.”

Out in the Desert is a documentary that takes an in-depth look at the sex, love, and friendships that carry on when tens of thousands of women take over Palm Springs for the event we call Dinah Shore. The Page Hurwitz (Last Comic Standing, The Rosie Show) produced doc boasts appearances from the Indigo Girls, Margaret Cho, and Elizabeth Keener.

The Dinah White Party
Zozo Hotel, 8pm
Curve Magazine will be hosting a VIP Party at 9pm which will lead to a celebrity studded red carpet. Havana Brown will be performing “We Run the Night” five times in a row. Probably not but I can dream. There will be three floors of parties and two dance rooms and the more queer women than any other Friday night dance party in the world.

Saturday, April 6th

The Cabana Girl Pool Party
Hilton Hotel Main Pool, 9am-5pm
Ryan Murphy’s favorite website, AfterEllen, will be hosting this pool party which will include Celebrity Dodgeball. The symbolic game of dodging balls will feature the Thursday night comics and The Real L Word ladies. It’s going down at 11am and will be a real display of athleticism. If the TRLW girls haven’t lost your respect (because you only respect those with mad dodgeball skills), they will be available for photo ops and autograph signings after.

Also, Kat Graham will be performing. I know I know I know. What the hell is Kat Graham going to perform. I guess in addition to having a show I’ll never watch she also has music I’ll never listen to BUT that does not stop her from being Kat Graham. Shit, I’m gonna go YouTube her music right now because I’m betting she wears revealing outfits and dances around in said outfits for 3-4 minutes.

4th Annual OML Battle of the Celesbian Web Series
Hilton Hotel Main Pool, 5pm
Representatives from all your favorite lesbian web series, including Unicorn Plan-It and Words With Girls, will be battling it out on stage. What this battle will include, I have no clue but I’m sure you won’t want to miss it because none of us will be willing to recount it after the fact.

Girls That Rock
Zoso Main Pool, Doors open at 11am, bands start at 1pm
Life Down Here, PlayBoy Club, and Love Darling will be playing instruments and making sounds with their mouths. Obvs you know Love Darling from TRLW theme song and maybe you remember Life Down Here from Crystal’s artist spotlight. If they’re good enough for Crystal, they’re good enough for me.

The Dinah Goes to Monte Carlo
Palm Springs Convention Center, 8pm
I’m not sure why we, as a group, would want to go to Monte Carlo but I guess we don’t really have a choice. Especially if you don’t want to miss Karmin performing at 9. You know Karmin from that “broken hearted” song on the radio but also more importantly from her several viral videos covering hip hop songs because when black people do it, it’s meh but when a pretty white girl does it, it’s the second coming. Here TV Network and SheWired are hosting a VIP party which will funnel into a celebrity packed red carpet.

Celesbian Poker Tournament to Benefit the HRC
Palm Springs Convention Center, Saturday night
While everyone is partying and having a good ol’ time, the celesbians will be putting them to shame by playing poker to raise money for the HRC. If you’re not a selfish human being that can do math, maybe you will play poker with Julie and Brandy (!), Kiyomi McCloskey, Jill Bennett, Lauren Bedford Russell, Rose Garcia, Kim Stolz, Fortune Feimster, and more for only a $50 buy in.

Sunday, April 7th

The Wet and Wild Pool Party
Hilton Hotel Main Pool, 9am-5pm
This will be your last chance to take advantage of the Dinah Dancers and the photo booth poolside. International artist Diana King will be performing and all your fave celezzies (including Kelsey Chavarria) will be parading across the stage as the party rages on.

Uh Huh Her Concert
Zoso Hotel Grand Ballroom, 8pm
Uh Huh Her is putting on a full concert. Uh Huh Her is putting on a full concert. UH HUH HER IS PUTTING ON A FULL CONCERT.

The Dinah Official Closing Party
Zoso Hotel, 9pm
Katy Tiz who doesn’t appear to be that famous will be performing her song “Famous” during the closing party along with other ones she recorded in a studio somewhere. But Dinah is calling her the next “It Girl” and they said the same thing about Lady Gaga so maybe you should be excited about this.

The 2013 Academy Awards Liveblog and Open Thread

Welcome to the 2013 Academy Awards Liveblog and Open Thread! Are you at an amazing Oscars party with tons of friends? I’m in my living room with a bunch of takeout and towels over the bottom of the windows so it isn’t freezing in here. Yay Oscars!

You may recall from our Golden Globes Liveblog that I hadn’t seen any of the movies nominated. Well the impressive display of acting captured my attention and encouraged me to see all of the Best Picture nominees this year. Just kidding, I spent the next week obsessing over Jodie Foster coming out and then resumed my life as normal. I did manage to see at least a few more of the nominees, including but not limited to that five hour torturefest Zero Dark Thirty, the potentially entirely made up but  based on a true story Argo and the delightful Silver Linings Playbook which I want to win Best Picture even though it doesn’t have a prayer.

I’m rooting for SLP or Argo for tons of categories, but I think Lincoln will likely clean up. I didn’t see Lincoln because I have the attention span of a fourth grader. I should point out that one of the guys I go to med school with was involved in Beasts of the Southern Wild, so obviously if they win I will be equally excited. I’m preparing an Oscars related nickname for him in anticipation already. In case you forgot the nominees, here are some categories people seem to care about. I also feel generally positive feelings about Django Unchained and Les Mis.

Best Picture:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo

Best Director:
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Actress:
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Actor:
Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Best Supporting Actress:
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master

Best Supporting Actor:
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Here are some other categories I actually care about, my choice indicated by **.

Best Original Screenplay:
Zero Dark Thirty
Django Unchained
Moonrise Kingdom**
Amour
Flight

Best Animated Feature:
Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
Paranorman
Brave** [was under-nominated overall]

Best Original Song
“Before My Time” from Chasing Ice
“Everybody Needs A Best Friend” from Ted [skyfall was a better song but how funny would this be?]
“Pi’s Lullaby” from Life of Pi
“Skyfall” from Skyfall** [Getting Adele closer to EGOTing]
“Suddenly” from Les Misérables

Best Animated Short
Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head over Heels
Maggie Simpson in ‘The Longest Daycar’ [Again, would be hilarious if it won]
Paperman**

To read all the nominees, you can read them here.

The show starts at 8:30pm EST with all sorts of preshow starting at 7pm EST

7:40PM I know the show doesn’t start for almost an hour but I am in legitimate Oscar Overload, I’ve got a bottle of Rosé, Chipotle on the way and I really just want to look at dresses!

7:45PM I have companions tonight!
Me: How would you like to be referred to tonight? By your name or as “my friend”?
My Friend: As “my friend… the best and most prettiest person I know.”

Let’s see what other people are up to!

I will be live tweeting me not watching the Oscars.

— Jamie J. Hagen (@Jamiejhagen) February 25, 2013

Happy #Oscars night. twitter.com/BarackObama/st…

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 25, 2013

Be sure to watch “Harmony” ( @misshaviland ) singing on the Oscar stage tonight with #LesMis ! #oscars

— Unicorn Plan-It (@UnicornPlanIt) February 25, 2013

He’s so cute…. #oscars twitter.com/MissHaviland/s…

— Haviland Stillwell (@MissHaviland) February 24, 2013

That’s right! The lovely Miss Haviland is performing at the Oscars tonight!

7:50PM: Did anyone else just see that comercial about the guy who “Tooth Picks” for a living?! Like he makes things out of tooth picks.

OK found it online. This is the most important Oscar moment of the night.

7:55PM: Kristin Chenoweth is too cute hosting the red carpet. She just let Hugh Jackman pick her up. She screamed, “Wolverine did it!!”

8:05PM: Quvenzhané Wallis is carrying a puppy purse I think.

8:15PM:

8:25PM:
Me: [to my gay guy friend] You will be playing the part of the person who keeps saying all the male actors are gay
My friend: But they are all gay.

8:30PM: And we open on the big show!!

8:35PM:I really like Seth MacFarlane so someone please tell me if I shouldn’t. I thought Ted was really funny and went to RISD which is in Providence where I live!! Unfortunately he’s kind of tanking on his opening monologue. This is awkward.

8:36PM: Oh no!! Too soon with the Chris Brown and Mel Gibson jokes. This is awkward.

8:39PM:
Oh thank God. The terrible opening is actually a joke! Huzzah!

William Shatner: “Why can’t Tina and Amy host every year”

Annndd cue the song about boobs.

8:40PM: Also Seth MacFarlane may have just come out? Was he already out? Is he gay? In other news, who knew Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum could dance? Just kidding. Every celebrity can dance. Haven’t you people seen Dancing with the Stars?

I’m also now convinced sock puppets are the funniest thing on the planet.

This remind me of the time I re-enacted Kafka’s “In The Penal Colony” using sock puppets in high school.” #oscars

— carly usdin (@carlytron) February 25, 2013

8:45PM:I’m thoroughly enjoying Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon Levitt soft-shoeing. I can get behind this.

William Shatner: “Are you sure you want the be the only Oscar host to ever get a bad review?”

Like what… other than when Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosted? Because that was the worst ever.

8:48PM:Octavia Spencer looks lovely announcing Best Supporting Actor
My Friend: Oh. I thought that Tommy Lee Jones was nominated for Men in Black IV…
But it’s not! Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor for Django Unchained. More importantly the camera just panned to Jack Nicholson and he looks completely stoned out of his mind.

Also someone please fix Quentin Tarantino’s collar?

8:57PM: Neither Melissa Mccarthy nor Paul Rudd is wearing their real hair today. They’re announcing Best Animated Film. I’m rooting for Paperman… and Paperman wins Best Animated Short!.

9:00PM: Brave wins for Best Animated Film! In case you missed it, the winner just thanked her daughter, they panned to the daughter and she had lipstick on her cheek kiss from mom style!

9:04PM: They’re showing a clip of Les Mis and in honor of it I’ve got a lovely picture of Haviland back stage!!! Yay Haviland I can’t wait to see you on my TV!!

9:08PM: Hurrah for the Avengers! I loved it. Also this line-up goes Tux, Tux, Tux, Tux, Bad-ass Samuel L. Jackson. Either way, Life of Pi wins for Cinematography and Lucius Malfoy stands up to receive the award. In med school, we call the way he’s talked “Pressured Speech.” Calm down bro. No one’s gonna take it away from you.

9:10PM: I feel like they tried to get the Avengers guys to do a George Clooney/Brad Pitt buddy buddy goof off vibe but instead it was just awkward. Oh, and Life of Pi wins for Best Visual Effects. Life of Pi is cleaning up. Also the walk off music is officially hilarious horror move music.

9:17PM: Jennifer Aniston you can talk about waxing any time. Or announce Best Costume Designer for Anna Karenina. It beat all sort of things like Mirror Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman. What was Mirror Mirror? Oh right. The OTHER remake of Snow White.

9:22PM: Congratulations to the hairstylists and make-up artists who just won an academy award for cutting everyone hair off in Les Mis. Too bad Tami Lane didn’t win.

Halle Berry just said Pussy on TV! Do we think she got the courage and power to do so from her amazing shoulder pads? I am loving this Bond tribute! The word from the med students is that none of us have seen many Bond movies because none of us can follow them. These people are going to be your doctors.

9:25PM: Dame Shirley Bassey is performing, this is so exciting. Just kidding, I have no idea who this is. I googled it. She sings bond songs. I hope Adele comes out soon.

‘Jane Eyre’ is unfortunately not nominated tonight because it didn’t come out this year and was fucking terrible #Oscars2013

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 25, 2013

9:30PM: I’d like to claim I care as much about the live action short films as I do about the animated one but I don’t. Also I forgot to watch them. Curfew wins for Best Live Action Short. If you told me the guy accepting was a member of a eight piece electronica folk bluegrass band I would believe you.

9:35PM: Did anyone else just hear the girl from Best Short Documentary Inocente try to start thanking people after the camera panned away and the music started. It’s like, it’s over. But seriously, jokes aside I’m so glad they won. But it was funny.

9:40PM: My attention span is too short to even watch the trailer for Lincoln. The worst part is that when it probably wins I’m going to have to see it. I mean, presidential movies always win.

9:45PM: I like how Ben Affleck is announcing the Best Documentary. You know, because his movie was based on a true story and 85% made up. But I loved it anyways. Searching for Sugar Man wins. I really want to see it.

9:50PM: You know this award show is getting boring because my friends and I somehow ended up talking about transmission of Herpes and diagnosing the gaits of people walking onscreen (shuffle gait). Oh med students.

My friends and I are fighting. I think Jessica Chastaine and JGarn have most beautiful dresses ever. My friends think they look like ridiculous clown women. They announced Amour winning for best foreign film. Well obviously. It is nominated for Best Picture.

9:52PM: Let’s get to the part where Haviland sings. I’m bored.

9:54PM:Oh! It’s time! I think…? It’s a whole movie musical medley! It’s Chicago first, I loved this movie. Love love loved it. can’t even begin. I’m on edge of my seat. I’m doing so many jazz hands right now.

9:58PM: Catherine Zeta Jones just had her crotch in some dancer’s face a la Silver Linings Playbook.

10:00PM: I just want everyone out there in TV land to know that I just got teased by all my friends for singing along to “That Jazz” but then they proceeded to sing along with JHud. So. We all have our vices. Come onnnn. It’s time for Haviland to come out!! Haviland! Haviland! Haviland!

10:02PM: Yay it’s Les Mis time! It’s Wolverine! Thank God it’s not Russel Crow. I couldn’t watch another constipated song by him. Anne Hathaway’s hair looks like she going through her initial baby dyke phase before she exactly figures out how to have her perfect gay hair. Oh. There’s constipated Russel.

More importantly Amanda Seyfried dress looks like some hot bondage couture.

10:05PM:I SEE HAVILAND I SEE HAVILAND I SEE HAVILAND!!!!!

So that was totally surreal. I sang for and thought of every musical theatre actor I’ve ever worked with xoxo – and then fantine won. So!

— Haviland Stillwell (@MissHaviland) February 25, 2013

This is seriously amazing. Also everyone playing the Oscars Drinking Game should drink for Anne Hathaway crying.

10:10PM: During this comercial break I’d like to inform you that Autostraddle is officially a more accurate news source than the NYTimes.

10:11PM: It weird that Seth MacFarlane just introduced Ted because, um, he is Ted. Also if there is a Hollywood post-oscars orgie does Anne Hathaway cry tears of joy the whole time?

10:15PM: So the little fuzzy bear awarded Les Misérables Best Sound Mixing. And the winner for Best Sound Editing was… a tie? To Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty. Do ties happen in the Academy Awards?

10:20PM: After that last Sound of Music joke I think we can officially agree that Seth MacFarlane hosting is just one long inside joke we only sort of get. At least we have the wonderful Christopher Plummer to announce Best Supporting Actress.

Everyone drink because Anne Hathaway just cried again upon seeing her own performance.

10:23PM: And Anne Hathaway wins best supporting actress. There’s a small group of gays frolicking around my living room celebrating right now. Well. Celebrating and pointing out her nipples. Who picked out that weird apron dress and floral diamond necklace.

“It came true” STOP TRYING TO MAKE ANNE HATHAWAY HAPPEN #oscars

— carly usdin (@carlytron) February 25, 2013

Anne Hathaway reacts to Anne Hathaway winning circa 2001. twitter.com/BuzzFeedRewind…

— BuzzFeed Rewind (@BuzzFeedRewind) February 25, 2013

10:30PM: I couldn’t have been more bored by this college student presentation thing.

10:33PM:In other news, I think Seth MacFarlane just referenced 28 days. I briefly thought he was referencing a remake of it. Because it came out so long ago that it’s basically obsolete. And Argo wins for Best Film Editing but it took everything Sandra Bullock had in her.

10:36PM: Oh thank fucking god they’re letting us listen to Adele finally. I wish Haviland was on stage again. Honestly I think that was the Oscars really peaking.

10:40PM: And the universe agrees that Adele wins all the Oscars ever.

10:43PM: I always forget that Nicole Kidman is Australian until the moment she opens her mouth. I always assumer her voice should be like it is in Moulin Rouge. I almost feel like she’s just trying to trick me.

10:48PM: Daniel Radcliffe and KStew are presenting together! KStew: come out of the goddamn closet. Please. In other news, Daniel Radcliffe must hate it that every time he walks on stage anywhere they play the theme to Harry Potter. C’mon guys, give him a break. He’s trying to make a new career for himself. You don’t play the theme to The Princess Diaries every time Anne Hathaway walks out.

10:50PM: Lincoln just won for Best Production Design and the guy who accepted just thanked his wife Adele. Bro, didn’t you and your wife get the memo? No one but Adele is allowed to be named Adele anymore. Like how no one is allowed to be named Blue Ivy anymore. Not that anyone was.

10:52PM: Salma Hayek looks like an Alien tonight.

Costume change and off to parties ! You guys – this is srsly like a Hollywood fantasy montage right now that I am living… #Oscars

— Haviland Stillwell (@MissHaviland) February 25, 2013

10:57PM: Now for the In Memoriam portion of the Oscars, or as I like to call them, the Fuck He Died? I Am So Old portion. I really do love how they always include people who do behind the scenes stuff that the average joe might not know about but who is so important to the final picture. Can you tell I did costume design?

11:02PM: Wait. I was in the bathroom. Why is Barbra Streisand singing. Does anyone know? No… no one knows?

11:08PM: How can it be 10 years since Chicago won best picture. When did I get so old? Is there any chance Queen Latifah is going to take this opportunity to come out? It’s time. The cast of Chiacago awards Life of Pi the Oscar for Best Musical Score. Queen Latifah shouted it out so loud! Do we know why Renee Zellweger acted so shocked by the idea of reading the award winner?

11:10PM:This is a long award show. It’s late and there’s still so many awards!!

11:12PM: ScarJo sings? For a movie about climate change and icebergs? How did she get so perfect?

11:15PM:How did I miss the memo that Norah Jones performed the song from Ted? That’s too hilarious. Too bad Adele will win.

11:16PM: And there it is. Duh. I do love that she still cries when she wins. She’s got the O and the G all she needs is a Tony and an Emmy to get that EGOT!!

Off to party!! twitter.com/MissHaviland/s…

— Haviland Stillwell (@MissHaviland) February 25, 2013

11:23PM: Charlize Theron’s is rocking that alternative lifestyle haircut balls deep. Is this because she took an acting roll in order to win Best Actress Who Cut All Her Hair Off just like Anne Hathaway?

The Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Argo. I can’t believe that bro just donated his Oscar to everyone who solves problems nonviolently. That is so real. Nice work bro.

11:26PM: Now. Moonrise Kingdom better fucking win for Best Original Screenplay.

11:28PM: And it’s Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained. Did the music just play and then Tarantino managed to stop the music and speak again? How is that possible? Is that magic? I feel like that’s the Oscars version of talking your way out of a speeding ticket.

11:35PM: And Jane Fonda takes the stage dressed as the entire decade of the 1980s. Slash maybe pit crew worker.

She announces Ang Lee winning Best Director for Life of Pi! You may remember Lee for directing the amazing life changing movie, Hulk. Okay and also Brokeback Mountain.

This just happened #oscars twitter.com/MissHaviland/s…

— Haviland Stillwell (@MissHaviland) February 25, 2013

11:41PM: I’ve been waiting all night to hear Best Actress awarded. I really think there’s a ton of talent this year. I want JLaw to win because, obviously. She just responded to watching her own scene like she’d never seen the scene before. Still, I wouldn’t mind seeing Quvenzhané Wallis win. I think we can all agree that would be amazing.

11:43PM: Holy shit! JLaw just won and then she fell on her way up! She bit it!!

Bradley Cooper is grinning like a Hatter because he knows JLaw winning gives him a shot.

11:45PM: Meryl Streep can do no wrong. She did, however, just pick a wedgie. But she was so great when she did it.

11:48PM:
Meryl: And the Oscar goes to Daniel Day-Lewis
Me: What even was he in?
The entire room: Lincoln!!

11:54PM: Did the Oscars seriously manage to get Michelle Obama to announce an award?! I love that she is too badass to show up but she still gets to present. I feel like this is in response to Clinton at the Golden Globes. Also when Michele Obama says “no matter who you love” was she referring to those two total lesbians behind her?

11:56PM: The award for Best Picture goes to Argo. Wait, Argo?! I know it won the Golden Globe but who saw that one one coming? If we weren’t going to mentally jerk off Lincoln then I feel like we could have agreed it should have been SLP. Well, I really did love Argo. I can live with this.

In other news why is the producer who isn’t George Clooney or Ben Affleck talking for forever? Like we get it, you like Ben Affleck and think he should have been nominated for Best Director.

11:58PM: Now that Ben Affleck is speaking I just want to let everyone on the internet know that my sister-in-law sells cheese to him and JGarn. I think that’s the big takeaway from tonight.

“… And then Matt Damon walks up and punches him in the face.” – @robinshoots #Oscars

— carly usdin (@carlytron) February 25, 2013

12:01AM: At least we get to be sung out by Kristin Chenoweth in a costume change!

Good night. Argo fuck yourself.

Hilarious Hostel: Get Into Bed With Queer Comedy At PodShare

I’ve been a comedian for forever and a day. It all started back in New York — my odd and wonderful career. I learned quickly that if you wanted to be on a cool comedy show full of queer and allied acts, well, you had to make one yourself.

Cut to over a decade later whenI make the move to Los Angeles. Social media is king. I’m enjoying making my mark on twitter (@beckydonohue) and my blog. I start poking around the LA landscape for a new space and all I want to find is a collaborator who understands the digital arena as much as I do.

Enter Elvina Beck (@StartupKid) and my prayers were answered. (Yep, a prayin’ lez. You can call me that, but I think “mantis” is much cooler.)

Elvina Beck is a 28 year old Russian immigrant raised in New Jersey. I came across her eclectic and interesting space on eventup.com. I figured if I wanted an owner that was social media savvy then she must have a web presence. Hell, I look at Yelp reviews when I’m trying to find a new doctor; this wasn’t something I could skip in my hunt for a new comedy home. The PodShare is a pod hotel located in the heart of Hollywood. What Elvina wants to do is extend the “community” feeling that one gains in college, but often loses when they move to an expansive place like Los Angeles. I called her up and we arranged a time to meet.

I arrived to find a raw, industrial space with a couch, concierge desk and a flat screen tv that greets new arrivals. I rounded the entry and found a full kitchen. Turned left from there and — BLAM — I was face to face with THE PODS.

The pods are tripped-out individual beds each fitted with their own screens, Netflix and Hulu, memory foam mattress, electrical outlets and LED night light. You can access the web or watch a movie — all from the comfort of your own pod. The idea was Elvina’s, but the pods were custom-built and then wired by her girlfriend, electrical artist (ok, engineer), Joni Colburn.

When I toured the space with my own Wifesy (an ex-veteran of the music business), I was unsure about running a comedy show out of the space and I mean, literally, out of the space. We throw some cushions down in the middle of the room, prop up a mic, and then present the best stand ups in LA. My Wifesy saw the potential, but initially I had my reservations.

“What if people want to go to bed?” I wondered.

That’s when Elvina stepped in. You see, this girl LIVES her mission statement. As she puts it,

“PodShare is the Zipcar of housing. It’s a membership based, social network offline. To stay at the PodShare we do a light online background search on you. But, to become a member of PodShare and to return to any of our locations the guest has to be SAFE, SANE, AND SOCIAL. We want to build a community of likeminded folks, but as curators it is our job to fill the space with people who can co-exist. 98% of our guests are members, those that aren’t just don’t understand our mission.”

It’s a great pitch, but still I was still a touch leery. As a comedian, I had been privy to many a “comedy ambush” situation. I define a comedy ambush as a group of people out for a nice dinner when, previously unbeknownst to them, a comedy show erupts around their meal. Imagine that happening in your bedroom! That’s what I pictured. But, Elvina reassured me, “We’re going to let all of our guests know that a comedy show is happening here while they are staying. They are, of course, invited to the show — free of charge — but if for some reason that doesn’t work for them we will give them a FULL refund.”

Holy Awesomesauce.

Nowadays, that’s exactly what happens. A comedy show in the middle of some fancy pods with audience members filling up the beds to watch. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced and — amazingly — it really works.

I’m convinced that like attracts like in life. Through that attraction amazing things can happen. (And no, I’m not channelling Oprah right now.) I think of myself as nothing but an extreme DO-IT-YOURSELF-ER. In today’s entertainment business you have to be. Clearly Elvina is one too; I peppered the young, startup kid with a few questions to delve deeper into this fiercely independent streak that birthed what is now known as PodShare.

How did you come up with the idea?

PodShare came to me during a really hot shower one night. When I was 21, I backpacked around 6 countries by train and by foot to learn self-reliance and independence. I realized that people in America are graduating from dorm-style colleges and traveling in the next phase of their lives to stay in sterile hotels or motels. I didn’t like the term “hostels” because it is a word associated with scary movies and bed bugs. However, Americans are social. They go to bars to meet people. It made sense to create a social community around hotel rooms (or pods) that can be thought of as a home-base for travelers in their 20’s and 30’s.

The staff at the PodShare is particularly awesome (a lot of them gay, even). Do you look for a particular energy or alignment with your vision when you hire someone?

I have an AMAZING team. We go out to lunch once a week to talk about making PodShare better. We blog and photograph our guests and really get to know them. If you look on YELP, we have 21 reviews with 5 out of 5 stars. That’s incredible for a hospitality business. I get phone calls from startup kids asking me how we do it — the answer is our team. I look for authentic energy. In the interview I always ask this question, “What are you driven by? Money, power or sex?” Based on their answer, we choose our teammate.

What are your future plans for PodShare?

Expansion is inevitable. People love the brand and we love our super-fans. PodShare will have a membership system with a custom dashboard that connects every single person that has stayed in a pod. This dashboard will help extend the community experience beyond each person’s stay.

We are looking for partners in different American cities. I am not interested in franchising, but rather partnering with investors who know and love their city. I see a PodShare in every major metropolis providing “ballers on a budget” an opportunity to travel and stay in a safe, sane and social environment.

Our next PodCom stand up show is at PodShare on Saturday, February 23rd and features Julie Goldman, Reggie Watts, Selene Luna and yours truly. It’ll be followed up by another show on  March 30th.

You can help Elvina by liking PodShare on Facebook.

Famous Lesbians Open New Lesbian Nightlife Spot In Lesbian New York, We Think We’re Into It

by Gabrielle, Gabby and Vanessa

The Dalloway is New York City’s newest hotspot for girls who like girls in the heart of Soho. In the few months since its grand opening, it’s gone from sparkly newcomer to nightlife staple, impressing lesbians and their trendy friends with its swanky vibe and amazing parties. Owned by attractive lesbians Amanda Leigh Dunn and Kim Stolz, The Dalloway is equal parts bar and restaurant, with something for everyone. Even homebodies (like us) can enjoy a quiet dining experience on the top level while party-goers mingle on the floor below.

The name, which Kim thought of, is an ode to the closet that Virginia Woolf spent her life in. According to Amanda, The Dalloway’s goal is to “create an environment so that no one ever has to feel that way and has a home.” Despite this mission, if you’re looking for rainbow flags, you won’t find them here.  This is an establishment based on being subtle; it’s a lesbian-implied space rather than a gay bar, which Amanda hopes means people will feel as comfortable bringing their parents here as bringing a hot date. “We don’t want anyone to feel unwelcome,” Amanda said, “and we don’t want anyone to feel exploited.”

The response so far has been overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Not only does The Dalloway fulfill a specific need in the community, but the food and the cocktails are actually really amazing. Amanda recommends trying their take on the Bloody Mary, called “The Clarissa and Mary,” as well as “The Night and Day,” which is ginger spiced rum. In terms of food, Amanda thinks that the hanger steak is to die for, and says she most frequently orders the brussels sprouts salad and the scallops. There are vegan and vegetarian options as well (we specifically asked for you).

So, clearly we were dying to find out for ourselves what the deal is over at this fancy new place. Read on to find out the highly informed and reputable opinions of Gabby, Gabrielle and Vanessa, otherwise known as a portion of Team Autostraddle NYC.

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Gabby: If you were wondering where all the fancy dykes chill, it’s The Dalloway. Straight up, no filter, on and off the rocks, The Dalloway is the spot. It’s the spot that’s better than you on it’s worst day. Seriously. If you need a chaser, then go home. The Dalloway is the place for all of the lezbo, queermo, homofab people that watch The Real L Word and wish that was their life. It’s full of expensively dressed, super scene happy, high fashion queers ready to drop $15 on a mixed drink and act like it’s nothing. Cuz it is, fyi. Listen, I wanna hate just cuz it would be funny but this isn’t hate, this is real talk. I’m not cool enough for The Dalloway.

Gabrielle: I was super excited to finally go to The Dalloway because I’ve been following their Instagram and Twitter accounts and drooling over the pictures of fashionable lesbians having the time of their lives. I wore galaxy tights, a high-waisted black mini skirt and gold collar tips. I tell you this because I would never wear that to any of the other queer bars in New York City; anything other than skinny jeans and some well-placed layers always makes me feel out of place at Metro or Ginger’s or wherever. I’m pleased to report that not only was I not the most dressed up person there, but that I observed many women wearing stilettos WITH slouchy indoor hats—so really anyone could go either way with their outfit.

I went around 7pm with my friend Leah, and it was pretty empty when we got there, so I got to take a good look around. The decor is super classy and minimalist, and also pretty masculine; it’s a no frills kind of joint, with leather details and a fireplace (!!). The lighting is also super dim, so that everyone looked gorgeous but also kind of blurry. By the time Vanessa, Gabby and Stef got there, several hours later, the place was packed and everyone was having a great time. I only ran into two people that I know, which is crazy because I feel like when I go to gay bars I recognize at least half of the people there. It’s definitely a scene I’m not familiar with but it was nice to have a change of scenery while still surrounded by dykes.

Vanessa: Let me reiterate Gabrielle’s point: The Dalloway is not Cubby or Metro. It doesn’t scream “NYU Gender And Sexuality Studies Major That You Probably Slept With Freshman Year And Has Since Gone Vegan” so much as it screams “Power Dyke.” Bette Porter would be so at home at the Dalloway. Do you know what I mean?

Gabby: Right, would I host an Autostraddle meet up there? Yes, but only if we could rent out the entire place. Would I tell you it’s a good place for nerdy, socially awkward, Adventure Time loving queers to go socialize? Hell to the fuck no. It’s a bar for people who want to be seen with other beautiful people. It’s a pulsing nerve ready to make high profile connections. It’s the place to take a sexy queer lady client and seal whatever deal needs sealing.

Vanessa: I did feel like I could bring both gay and straight friends and everyone would have a grand old time, which was refreshing and cool.

Gabrielle: Oh and also I caught a few glimpses of Amanda. I don’t know if you know this but she’s really pretty.

Vanessa: I did not see Amanda or Kim and honestly I was upset about it. But other than that I had fun! Everyone was nice and while it was definitely a little bit cliquey, what bar in New York City isn’t? That’s how I felt about the pricing, also. The price will definitely be a dealbreaker for some — there’s no way around it, it is not cheap — but all nightlife in New York has a tendency to be expensive, and if that’s not something you can afford (or want to spend money on) there are plenty of cheaper options. If money isn’t a worry for you, I think you should know about the Dalloway.

Gabby: Establishments like The Dalloway add to the diversity of our queer community. I didn’t notice any instances of drama or drunken hot messery. All the queers and dykes and fags seemed professional and well versed in the secret language of the NYC social scene. I wore a red baseball cap and no one gave a shit. I didn’t get any side eye or experience any inter-dyke haterade. The bartenders were ultra sexy, like Aqua Girl sexy and the drinks were strong, tiny but strong, like a hard femme in the best way. There isn’t much I can say about The Dalloway that isn’t positive. If you want to be SEEN, go there and go there with some fly bitches to up your chances of getting snapped by the sweet photogs.

Gabrielle: The bottom line is that I’m looking forward to getting super dressed up again and bringing my girlfriend so that we can cuddle in a dark corner and drink things we can barely afford. I’m so glad that there’s now an option for girls who like girls who want to be swanky while also staying in a lesbian-created space.

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So there you have it: All Our Feelings About The Dalloway! But why take our (many) word(s) for it? If you’re 21+ and in the neighborhood, check the place out for yourself! There’s plenty to do, what with Singles Night on Tuesdays, A League Of Their Own Flip Cup Tournaments on Wednesdays and Girls Who Love Girls Who Love Girls Night on Thursdays. Also coming up this week is the Valentine’s Day Lesbian Prom we told you about in our Valentine’s Day Party Round Up (which — shockingly — takes place on Thursday, February 14th) and Lesbian Day on Friday, February 15th! It also looks like Midnight Brunch is now a thing, which means all Vanessa’s hopes and dreams are coming true. For more details go to The Dalloway’s Upcoming Events page on their website, and be sure to find them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, too — pretty girls, Real L Word cast member sightings and general debauchery guaranteed.

Queering the F*ck Out of Musical Theater: The Personal Is Political Is Art

Sometimes being an actor in New York can be a very frustrating experience. I wake up at 5 am, drag myself to open calls filled with a bunch of obnoxious people, freak out for six hours waiting to be seen, sing for 30 seconds and then go to work trying not to feel too worthless. If you happen to be wondering what, exactly, it’s like to live the open call, non-union life of a queer girl with stars in her eyes, I just happen to have a vlog about that.

After almost 6 years trying to get on Broadway by going to open calls, I realized there had to be a better way for me to utilize my skills and fuel my soul. Really, it is all about connections. I met Maggie Keenan-Bolger through an article that Autostraddle did about her show Queering History. I emailed her and she told me I could help out by selling tickets for the show, after which we grabbed a beer together. This landed me an audition for the show I’m currently doing with her, which you may have heard about, called The Birds and The Bees: Unabridged.

 

This show is a devised theatre piece on female sexuality, but it’s not limited to the female viewpoint — we opened up the casting process to anybody besides cisgender men, a.k.a. anybody left out of the mainstream discourse about sexuality, which has historically been defined by cisgender men. What’s devised theatre? It means that our cast was formed through an audition process to get enthusiastic and diverse people to discuss their experiences with sex and sexuality in order to form a previously-unwritten show. Originally, we started with about 20 women and gathered information through the surveys (which some of you might have taken; THANK YOU!!!). After collecting input from our cast and the surveys, we realized that we were missing some crucial viewpoints, and were able to add several cast members including two disabled women and a trans* man.

We reached out to a number of organizations but were unable to find a trans* woman who was interested and able to commit the time — unfortunately, the traditional theatre world hasn’t been friendly to trans folks so the casting pool is pretty limited. Over time we hope to take part in changing that, and visibility for our project on websites like this one, with its diverse readership, are part of that initiative. We are hoping to eventually tour a version of the play to colleges and will continue to work to find someone (or someones) who is excited about being a part of the project and is able to provide a perspective on sexuality from the trans* female viewpoint.

However we do have trans* female representation in our accompanying visual art exhibit, so if you’re a trans* woman visual artist reading this, we’d love to see more submissions to alleviate somewhat the lack of representation in the performance piece. It is absolutely our goal in further incarnations of the performance piece to be sure that the trans* woman voice is included as well, so please contact us if you’re interested in participating! Historically trans* women are often left out of conversations about female sexuality and we know our project will be at its best when we have those voices included.

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Growing up gay is a unique experience in that my interactions with sex and sexuality are very different from those of many of my cast-mates who grew up identifying as straight. There wasn’t a rulebook or very many examples of lesbian relationships, so I was forced to do a lot of research and communicate with my peers and partners on a regular basis. The perceived gender gap (Men are from mars…blah, blah, blah) was not typically an issue in my relationships and so I believed that it was possible to openly communicate with my sexual partners. Within our cast, it’s fascinating to discuss our experiences because it makes me realize just how differently-situated my knowledge on sex and sexuality is. I was interested to find out how the other lesbian as well as the trans man in the cast were feeling about their experiences and their additions to this groundbreaking show. So, I talked to Cole and Holly about their feelings on theatre and Birds and the Bees.

Cole

Where are you from and where did you receive your training for your theatre profession?
I’m from Rockaway, NJ, but I also lived in the south (Virginia and North Carolina) for a long time.  I have a B.A. in Theatre and Dance from James Madison University and an M.A. in Theatre History and Criticism from CUNY, Brooklyn College.

Is theatre/acting your primary job? If not, what else do you do?
Well, I currently temp at the Kaplan Bar Review, and I am also an adjunct lecturer of public speaking at CUNY, BMCC.

Do you think your experience as a queer/trans person has influenced your interaction with theatre?
Oh, hugely. Inescapably. It’s all I do, actually, is talk/write/create about my subjectivity as a transman and how it is the lens through which I see the world. The stage is a perspective on the world, a lens in itself, so my stage is a trans/queer stage, even if I write or act straight characters. My body is queer as is my body of work. I write theory about transmasculine spectatorship and embodied practice. As a playwright, I am hyper-focused on transmen characters. The plays are never ever about their transitions or about explaining their identities to anybody. They’re just people who are trans and they do stuff that is not about being trans. Which is surprisingly revolutionary, believe it or not. As a script reader for two companies, I’m sad to say I read piles of transphobic or trans-uninformed junk. If only I could balance it out by generating tons of original plays that don’t suck! I’ve only got a few, and I’m in the beginnings of a new one.

How do you think your experiences in theatre vary from straight or cisgender identified people? 
Oh wow… want to read my 50 page thesis on this? Well, basically, I believe that my subjectivity as a trans person does create a barrier between myself and the normative-studio-training expectations of the body. Dysphoria is a real thing. I have a theory about disappearing body parts, and I’ve been working on developing trans actor training that is based on an idea of fragmented resistance as opposed to “wholeness.” I can’t think of any technique that doesn’t require a sense of a unified bodily calm to even start, and why don’t ya just Google gender dysphoria? I don’t believe that having a dysphoric body should mean trans people can’t be actors. Besides, there are trans actors. Cast us, please. Stop casting cis people as trans people. ‘Preesh.

What have been your experiences with Birds and the Bees, what do you bring to the table and what are you excited about?
I get to experience a ton of anxiety! But that happens with me and actor training. I also get to experience a lot of fun, and I love watching characters and scenes materialize before my eyes. As a playwright who writes in a more or less traditional sense of storytelling structure, I am not used to the idea of a group-devised piece.

As for what I bring to the table, I bring a beard. It’s a very different experience of femaleness than the rest of the cast, and one that is always ignored because I pass as male. While others either ignore it or forget it, I have to remember every time I have to use a stall in the men’s room or on any number of other daily moment’s when my body and I are aware of each other. I may be the only cast member who is female but does not identify as one.

Can you talk about a moment or exercise in rehearsal that stuck out to you (humorous moment, moment of discovery, etc)?
I think my favorite moment so far was a group-devised scene that acted out an entire “morning after,” in which an unfortunate toilet situation resulted in a girl leaving a bag of poop behind in the apartment of her fling, ensuring the status of the date as a one-night-stand, never to be heard from again.

Holly

What drew you to this project?
There is very limited information being given to people, especially young women, about female sexuality. I wanted to learn from the people involved in this project and help others become more aware and accepting of different points of view. With so many recent attacks on women’s rights, now is when a project like this is especially necessary. I wish I could have had a group of people like this to learn from when I was growing up.

Where are you from and where did you receive your training for your theatre profession?
I was born in Seoul and grew up in Mansfield, Ohio. I have a BFA in Acting from Long Island University, CW Post. Epic Theatre Ensemble, Roundabout Theatre Company and the New York Public Library’s Theatre on Film and Tape Archive taught me what I know for my career in theatre administration.

Is theatre/acting your primary job? If not what else do you do?
Yes, theatre is my primary job. I’m currently the Production Supervisor at the Theatre on Film and Tape Archive. We tape many Broadway and Off-Broadway productions to be included in the Lincoln Center archive.

How do you think your experience as a queer person has influenced your interaction with theatre?
I grew up watching, listening to and acting in theatre. As a child, I became a huge musical theatre nerd – I used to listen to my cassette of The Phantom of the Opera during recess. My career is in theatre and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Despite my love for this community, I wish queer women were better represented, both on the creative end and in what ends up on stage. I recently saw February House and Fun Home at The Public, both of which feature queer female characters. Had I seen theatre like this when I was growing up, discovering my own sexuality, and coming out would have been much easier. Theatre taught me that it was fine to be different; I wish it had shown me it was fine to be a queer woman, as well.

How do you think your experiences in theatre vary from hetero people? 
Queer women spend a lot of time seeing and telling other people’s stories in theatre. Creating a complex, developed character always defaults to the character being straight (or more recently, a gay man). For the most part, you will only see other queer women on stage if they are token, stereotypical and minor characters (Legally Blonde, Hairspray). Seeing yourself constantly tokenized gets rough, but projects like this help change the norm.

What have been your experiences with birds and the bees, what do you bring to the table and what are you excited about?
I’ve loved working on this project. The devising aspect scares the control freak in me that just wants a script, but that’s probably a good thing. The people we are working with bring tremendous intelligence, humor and empathy to the table. As a queer person of color I think I have a unique perspective on how each of these factors affect my experience with sexuality. I can’t wait to see how the show turns out. We’ve had great support from those that know about the project. I’m anxious to continue the conversations we’ve been having with people that see the show. I also look forward to seeing the art installation that is a part of this project.

Do you have any funny, awkward or poignant stories of your experiences as a queer person in theatre?
In an acting class my freshman year of college, I was working on a scene from Stop Kiss, a play about two women falling in love and a brutal physical attack after their first kiss. Our Teaching Assistant was coaching us in front of the class, only half of which knew that I was gay. It was already a bit awkward for me as the material was hitting a little too close to home. At some point the TA said, “you have to imagine what that would be like, since none of you know what it’s like to have feelings for someone of the same sex.” I was mortified and tried not to look at any of my friends that knew in the silence that followed. I came out to everyone in my class soon after that.

Our Kickstarter campaign ends on February 16th. There are all sorts of cool things that you can get by donating. For only $1 you can get the best piece of sex advice e-mailed to you, for $10 you can get a list of the top 10 books and movies about sexuality and for $25 you can get a mixed tape from the cast of boot-knocking music. Other awesome incentives include naming a character in the show, a mystery box and a VIP invitation to the show where you will have the opportunity to dine with cast and crew. Your name will also be entered in a raffle where you will have the opportunity to win a product or event from one of our sponsors. If those aren’t enough reason to help us out, consider that your donation will help us to make the world a better place by facilitating open and honest discussion about female sexuality.

The Birds and The Bees: Unabridged will have performances the last week of March (27th-30th) and you can buy tickets at our website.

Come see us, like us on facebook, visit our tumblr and help us fund our show.

You Should Go: Hot Rabbit’s Fashion Week Queer Dance Party Extravaganza

If you live anywhere near W 4th St. – like at least within a 30 mile radius – and if you like awesome queer things, then you’re either already going to the Hot Rabbit queer dance party or it’s time for you to pull out your phone and save the date. Listen, I know we’re not all party people. Also, lots of us freak out about semi-trendy things that involve getting dressed up. But don’t let these reasons keep you home this Friday night, or any night. I’m a big fucking weirdo in a vest, ok? And sometimes I just wanna dance. There’s this party that I love, it’s called Hot Rabbit, and you should go to it. Why?

My reasons:
1) Pretty queers dancing everywhere.
2) Solid solid DJs & go-go dancers.
3) No one there has ever been an asshole to me which means they’re probs not gonna be one to you.

But this Friday’s Hot Rabbit isn’t just their regularly scheduled, sweaty sexy queers packed to the strobe lights dance party. Nope, this time around promoter and creator, Emily Hall Smith, teamed up with Anita Dolce Vita from dapperQ to throw (insert RuPaul’s voice here) an extravaganza  worthy of New York Fashion week starring all of you.

This Friday’s party is an attempt to shine a light on the multiple expressions of queer fashion. It’s Fashion Week in NYC. Anita Dolce Vita and Emily Hall Smith realize that the fashion world has co-opted our presentations, our androgyny, our masculine of center-ness, our femme status all day every day shit and all the looks in between to make mad money while setting the tone for what the rest of the world’s elites don. Hot Rabbit and DapperQ are taking back our fashion week and giving us an opportunity to showcase the best of our style and give a happy homo fuck you to those in the fashion world that refuse to recognize us.

How’d this all come together? Emily straight up told us:

Anita Dolce Vita of dapperQ noticed how many dapper folks we have in the photos Gizelle Peters takes for us every Friday, so we’ve been talking about a way to collaborate for a while. They came up with the idea of a fashion week party for queers and we were all for it! Everyone loves an occasion to dress to the nines. 

We love Hot Rabbit, and we wanted to know why dapperQ loved it too. Of course there’s a ton of queerness blowin’ up the city every week of the year. Why the collaboration with Hot Rabbit? Anita let us know:

The weekly party is located in the heart of the Village, where all of the action is. But, more importantly, the party is truly inclusive and diverse; The Monster, which is traditionally a club for gay men, opens its doors to lesbians, trans men and women, straights – EVERYONE – on one of their busiest nights to host Hot Rabbit, one of the most fashionable queer parties in the city.

If that’s not enough incentive to go, there’s a good chance that you might win a nice-ass custom fitted shirt from Bindle & Keep, a bespoke menswear company. They’re donating three shirt fittings with three custom made menswear shirts (retails $100-$145) which means that three lucky winners will get a fitting by Rae and a perfectly tailored shirt! How do you enter? Easy: Show up. Dress dapper. They’ll take it from there. Also, Marimacho is giving away a gift certificate for $235 to purchase their Fly Boi Bomber.

So, wear a bowtie, bring a few dates, and don’t forget the password that’ll get you free entry: SWAG. It’ll probably be everywhere you look Friday night.

Friend Hot Rabbit on FB to get the free password every week and check out DapperQ online to know what’s really good in queer threadage. Also, come have a drink with me, Katrina, Stef and possibly maybe Vanessa at the Hot Rabbit Fashion Week Queer Dance Party this Friday at Monster bar.

Hot Rabbit is held every Friday night at the Monster Bar
80 Grove St. between W 4th St. and 7th Ave., NYC

We Were There: Queer Ladies Speed Dating at Strand Bookstore, Valentine’s Day Edition

Let me tell you about some things I really love. I love books and cute queer girls who like to read books. I love independent businesses that support queer communities. I love Gabby and Katrina and champagne and cupcakes. And I really, really, really love our vibrant smart gorgeous funny perfect Autostraddle community. It’s my love of all those things combined that makes it impossible for me to stay away from Queer Ladies Speed Dating at Strand Bookstore, even though I have a girlfriend and thus I never actually go on any dates (except when someone has to go to the bathroom and Gabby has me fill in). I just can’t say no to an event that puts so much positive stuff together in one room, ya know?!

In case you missed my very enthusiastic post urging you to attend this event, let me remind you that on Wednesday, February 6th the Strand Bookstore in New York City hosted its third Queer Ladies Speed Dating event and as predicted, it was fucking fantastic. Gabby and Katrina were the perfect hosts, facilitating great dates with super on point prompts such as, “Do you smoke weed?” and “Kittens: cute baby cats or fur-covered menaces?” and keeping Beyoncé tunes in heavy rotation all evening. About 100 humans showed up and together we went through 24 bottles of champagne, 150+ boozy cupcakes donated by Prohibition Bakery and a lot of dates! The Strand staff was lovely and welcoming (per usual – thank you, Strand!) and Gabby reminded everyone to return the favor and purchase some books at The Strand – support the people who support us, y’all!

I hope everyone who attended had a blast and maybe even made a love connection or two! At the very least I hope you found a friend because you all seemed so nice and funny and honestly you all had really amazing hair, just FYI. If you live in the New York area and couldn’t make it this time, I hope you’ll join us in the future, because there will be more and more events like this in the future!

ALSO! A bunch of people who do not live in New York commented on my original post asking if events like this could happen in their cities, to which I’d like to say a big resounding YES. Here is the secret: MAKE IT HAPPEN. It sounds corny but it isn’t. This specific event began because a queer staff member at this specific bookstore thought it would be a great event and her boss believed in her. Make the people around you believe in you! Pick your favorite independent bookstore (or music store, or craft store, or or or the possibilities are endless!), pitch the idea, promise you will take care of everything and then make it happen! Email us and we will write about it. I’m not kidding. Our dreams and goals and aspirations are to use this website to create 3-D queer communities for y’all. We support you. We will help you make this happen. And you will look damn good doing it because it’s a proven fact that all Autostraddle readers are super sexy. I’m not good at science so I can’t explain it beyond that, I just know that it’s true. Promise.

So anyway that’s enough words. I know you’re not here for my motivational speech about creating community, you’re really here to see a bunch of cute girls speed dating while surrounded by rare books. Don’t worry, my feelings aren’t hurt, that’s totally why I’m here too! So without further ado, feast your eyes on these brave little toasters. By the way, in case it isn’t obvious: I love you all so much. Happy early Valentine’s Day!

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The photographs © Vanessa Friedman 2013.

If you see a photo of yourself here that you do not want on the Internet, please email carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com so we can remove it.

We Were There: Tomboy Tailors’ Grand Opening In San Francisco

On Saturday, February 2nd, Tomboy Tailors had its grand store opening party in San Francisco. We hurriedly invited you over and showed up to support a queer-owned clothier full of people who care about dapper clothes fitting well all over everyone’s bodies.

I was expecting something akin to a 3D version of our 25 Days of Dapper, and boy, was I not even a little bit disappointed. Just check the photos for confirmation.

Tomboy Tailors is located at Level One of the Crocker Galleria in San Francisco, and during their opening half of the first floor was packed with people celebrating, mingling, and just generally talking with and smiling at one another. In the actual store, a corner bar and a piano shared the space with rad, thick framed mirrors and comfy couches where clients can wait before getting measured. It was all a great mix of old school tailor charm with a welcoming queer attitude.

They had on display at the opening a super crisp line of button-ups by Androgyny, which will soon be joined by Tomboy Tailors’ in-house line and accessories from other brands that fit within their concept. I’m particularly excited about their plans to carry men’s shoes in a range that includes smaller sizes, which are usually harder to find anywhere outside of the internet -which reminds me: if you are nowhere near the Bay Area, fear not, Tomboy Tailors is launching their website and online store in April!

It was altogether a phenomenal start to a new business relevant to your interests, all photographed by Rachel Walker for you to enjoy -including the puppy that someone brought near the end, confirming this had been the best opening party most of us had ever attended.

You Should Go: Tomboy Tailors Grand Opening Party in San Francisco

Okay, I know this is last minute, but how do you feel about spending part of your Saturday hanging out with well dressed queer people in the Bay Area?

My feelings exactly. This is why I feel like all of us should go to Tomboy Tailors Grand Opening Party* today, Saturday February 2, from 2-6pm at 50 Post Street, Level One of Crocker Galleria in San Francisco.

Let me let Tomboy Tailors tell you a little more about their concept while I finish getting ready:

Tomboy Tailors is a bespoke clothier in San Francisco that caters to butch/boi lesbians, female-to-male transgender individuals & people of any identity who like to don tailored menswear or tailored womenswear.

So, Tomboy Tailors is a store for the well-dressed and the ones who love them. Basically, if you dream of well-fitting outfits that understand the awesomeness that is your body, Tomboy Tailors is for you –San Francisco Bay Guardian notes that Tomboy Tailor’s staff will help you find suits that fit just right everywhere, “customizing them so that each garment fits its new owner.” On the other hand, if suits are not for you and you just like to see them on others, you should still drop by, check out their brand new place and hang out with half of the Straddlers in the Bay Area. You’ll be showing your support for a queer business and getting a chance to mingle with like-minded people all before dinner.

Look, Rachel Walker even made a Facebook event to remind us to go, and to let you know where to go party with us afterwards.

*I know registration ended at 10am today, but don’t worry, tickets are not required and they only encouraged RSVPs to make sure they had enough champagne and hors d’ouvres for everyone -because they are awesome.

You Should Go: PUSSY RIOT! Book Launch in NYC

It was almost one year ago that five members of Pussy Riot, a Russian feminist punk collective, performed their “Punk Prayer” in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow, asking the Virgin Mary to drive Vladimir Putin out of the church. They themselves were chased out of the church by security in under a minute, but once a video of the events hit the internet, a global feminist movement was ignited. Maria Alyokhina, Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, and Yekaterina Samutsevich were arrested and charged with felony hooliganism motivated by religious hatred; but that was only the beginning. The three women, also known as Masha, Nadya and Katya, captivated the world with their beautifully articulated court statements that called for freedom from oppression. Throughout their trial, the women were supported by other grassroots feminist activists, as well as celebrities like Madonna and Paul McCartney. Despite the global outcry of support, they were sentenced to two years in prison.

In honor of Pussy Riot, The Feminist Press in New York City put together an e-book of their letters from prison, courtroom statements, defense attorney closing arguments, poems, and the punk prayer that started it all; as well as tributes to the band by Yoko Ono, Eileen Myles, JD Samson and more. The profits of the e-book sales went to Pussy Riot.

On February 7, at Barnes & Noble Union Square, the print edition of  PUSSY RIOT! A Punk Prayer for Freedom is launching, and you should really go to it. The print edition is an updated version of the e-book and includes new courtroom statements from the October 10 appeal, as well as tributes by Bianca Jagger, Peaches & Simonne Jones, Tobi Vail, Barbara Browning and Vivien Goldman. The event itself is going to be super amazing: Justin Vivian Bond, Barbara Browning, Vivien Goldman, Karen Finley, Johanna Fateman, Eileen Myles, and Laurie Weeks will be reading from the book! Eileen Myles, you guys.

This the the first publication of Pussy Riot’s words. Their significance has been largely left to the media to interpret, and in that process their original intentions are often glossed over, minimized and dismissed as rabble rousing rather than purposeful activism. The book provides a unique opportunity to read Pussy Riot’s mission straight from the mouths of the brave women who sacrificed so much to make the world hear their punk prayers.

Here are some excerpts from the appeal statements in case you don’t believe me about how exciting and important this is:

We are not guilty. I think this is obvious. I also think that our court sentence should be declared invalid. Dear believers, we did not want to insult you. We have never had such intentions. We went to the cathedral to voice our protest against the merging of religious elites with the political elites of our country… We have been jailed for our political beliefs. Even if we are sent to Siberia we will not be silent.

—Masha

It’s painful for me to hear that I am speaking out against religion. I have no religious hatred and never have. I want to warn that everything that is happening in Putin’s third term is leading to the end of stability. In two years there will be civil war, because Putin is doing everything to ensure that… We’ll be going to a prison colony while civil war is brewing in this country. Putin is doing everything to make this happen. He is setting people against each other.

—Nadya

If we unwillingly hurt any of believers by our actions, than we apologize for that. The idea of our action was political, not religious. In our previous actions, as in this one too, we have been protesting against the power of the current president, against the merging of the church with state authorities, and against the political statements by the patriarch. Therefore I believe I have not committed a crime. This is the joint position of all three of us. There is no split within Pussy Riot.

—Katya

See you there!

You Should Go: Queer & Utter Bedlam Werks Those Pecs

feature image contributed by Grace Chu

Hey New Yorkers, what are you up to tomorrow night? I know we’re perpetually expecting a “wintery mix” and I know the past week has been freezing, but that’s all the more reason to grab life by the collar and say, “I will have fun, damn it!” Right?

If you’re with me on the whole grab life by the collar bit, you’re in luck, because there’s an intimate queer blow out going down in Manhattan tomorrow night — yes, you read that right. Manhattan. As in, not Brooklyn. I know. It’s wild! My friends Ryley (who you may recognize from Straddler on the Street) and Sam are spearheading the event with their respective passion projects — Queer and Utter Bedlam and Werk Those Pecs — and here’s what they told me about tomorrow’s party.

Queer and Utter Bedlam and Werk Those Pecs are both parties that are designed to give back to the community. Q&UB raises money for a variety of queer-related projects led by queer humans, and WTP is a tri-annual event that helps people in the community fundraise for top surgeries. The groups are joining forces this week to launch what will be both the first Q&UB of 2013 and a preview for the second WTP party, which will happen on February 16.

Here’s some info about tomorrow night directly from the organizers:

Werk Those Pecs prides itself on throwing hot parties which ALSO act as aggressive fundraisers toward expensive and life-changing surgeries for a chosen benefit-ee. At Queer and Utter Bedlam we’ll introduce Devin Norelle, the benefit-ee of the upcoming Werk Those Pecs party. The Q&UB and WTP crews will be there displaying photographs, premiering artwork, and answering questions about being genderqueer and/or non-binary-identified, as well as raising preliminary funds for Devin’s top surgery. – Sam

There will be art. And go go dancing. And queer literature. And a pamphlet about the common misconceptions about being gender queer written by yours truly and one of our hosts Norelle. It’s going to be magical. – Ryley

If you want to get in on the magic, you know what to do — head to Bedlam on Avenue C tomorrow night at 9pm and say fuck you to the cold weather and fuck yes to everything queer and wonderful.

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Queer & Utter Bedlam Werk’s Those Pecs starts at 9pm on Tuesday, January 29 at Bedlam, 40 Avenue C, Manhattan, New York.

Queer & Utter Bedlam, founded by Ryley Pogensky, is a bi-monthly party in the heart of the Lower East Side in Manhattan. It is a space for queers of all walks to get together, get their dance on, get wasted, and most importantly network. Come with your new projects. Your arts. Your new ventures. Share with your community.

Werk Those Pecs, founded by Jason Hill and Samuel Aaron Leon, is a movement that aims to increase visibility and awareness of transgender issues within the wider queer community. Each event aims to raise money for trans* surgeries, support LGBT businesses, and showcase queer musicians & DJs. Their next fundraising party, for Devin Norelle, will be on February 16 at SLATE on West 21st Street in Manhattan. For more information find them on Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.

We Were There: Phresh Cutz Pop-Up Barbershop Chopped Some Locks

PHRESH CUTZ hosted So Phresh, So Clean, a (Formal) Queer Pop-Up Barbershop and Dance Party! on Saturday, January 19, and we told you to go. The event was fanfuckingtastic as anticipated. Now you can read Autostraddle’s own Katrina KC Danger’s reflections on how PHRESH CUTZ came into existence and what it means to her and to all of us. Then, when you’re done feeling All The Feelings, you can scroll through an incredible gallery and appreciate the humans, the community, the sexiness and the perfection that is a PHRESH CUTZ event.

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We did it because we wanted to, and we thought maybe some other people might want to, also. It seemed simple: a party where people could get their hair cut, for queers, by queers. We felt safe with each other, and we wanted to spread that feeling to others. We cut our own hair, and we figured we could probably cut other people’s hair too. We liked how the way that we looked made us feel, and we wanted other people to look and feel that way too, without shyness or apology. We wanted to drink and dance late into the summer. And we wanted to do it for as little money as possible.

And so PHRESH CUTZ was born. It wasn’t the simplest thing ever, but it also wasn’t too hard. There wasn’t much adversity involved. No one told us we couldn’t, no one tried to stop us. Friends took us into their homes, they put their heads in our hands. Time passed, and the crowds grew, our staff expanded, the buzz rang louder, and this little idea we toyed around with became a full-fledged, regular, well…thing.

We never felt luckier.

But luck is a funny thing. It implies that the tides could change, that things come and go — both of which are true — but it also implies that the success we’ve had is pure coincidence, and it’s not. One of the hopes that built PHRESH CUTZ was the idea that you could spontaneously create space, but often what appears to be spontaneity is actually the result of extensive planning. And that’s what it was. A labor of love that started as a conversation, that stretched across networks, that engaged people with so much talent and so much enthusiasm, that it did in fact seem – even to us – that it had built itself from the ground up.

And in a way, that’s luck. When I think of the talented, passionate, beautiful people I work with, I feel infinitely fortunate that I didn’t have to go far to find them: they’re my best friends.

We didn’t see it coming, the way this little project went from zero to 60 in just four months. But in retrospect, I guess can’t say that we were too surprised. Why don’t the things we want deserve a little spotlight? Why shouldn’t we expect to see our queer experiences reflected back at us? We found love (in a hopeless place), it seems, by giving the people what they wanted — because it’s what we wanted too.

It gets weird to talk about after a while. We get so immersed in it that it can get to the point where it’s sometimes like, “Yeah, it’s a party, and we cut hair,” but it’s also something I actually never get tired thinking of or talking about or sharing with people: “Yeah, it’s a party! And we cut hair!”

And we love it. We love you, in every moment. We love giving someone their first queer cut while their partner stands smiling on the sidelines, camera phone poised to capture the moment. We love dancing with you: on the floor, on the benches, screaming the words to every song. We love the last-minute rush, setting the stage — lights, camera, scissors — and filling an ordinary space with the potential for transformation. We love the diversity that exists, from the newly out queers to the couple who came to PHRESH CUTZ to celebrate their 17th wedding anniversary.

That being said, we could always do better. We could always be bigger, brighter, we could push the edge forward, challenging our own imaginations and reaching farther out. We could always do better, yep, and we plan on it, too. The next few months have a lot in store. With each party, we’re looking for more space, more barbers, more haircuts. And soon we’ll have a Kickstarter video to really get us off the ground. Scout, one of our barbers, and Ronika, our head photographer, are both coming to A-Camp (which influenced PHRESH CUTZ in a big, big way), and maybe we’ll spread the PC love.

The future is as bright as it is long, and one day, we hope to set up shop for real.

Thanks for your support, for making this possible. Never forget that you’re as complicit in our future as we are, and that that’s no small thing. For us, for now: all we can do is grind harder, reach farther, and speak louder, because we’ve found that the more we insist on putting our voices out there, the more clearly we’re being heard. We did a thing, and people are paying attention, because we deserve it like that. And more importantly: so do you.

You can find PHRESH CUTZ on Tumblr, Facebook, and Twitter.

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Photographs © Ronika McClain, Julieta Salgado, and Vanessa Friedman 2013.

Autostraddle received all images from the photographers — if you see a photo of yourself here that you do not want on the Internet, please email carrie [at] autostraddle [dot] com so we can remove it.

You Should Go: PHRESH CUTZ Queer Pop-Up Barbershop Is Back In Brooklyn Saturday

Remember that time Katrina KC Danger cut some queer hair at camp and found her true calling in life and then came home to Brooklyn and assembled Hair Force One, “a teeny tiny collective of queer amateur barbers of various skill levels and gender identities spreading hard love and good looks through Brooklyn and beyond”?

And they started hosting PHRESH CUTZ, amazing chill accepting relaxed fun pop-up barber shop party situations where anyone can show up and have a drink, get a haircut, chat to some cool humans, dance quite a lot, and generally have a fanfuckingtastic time?

Right, well after two highly successful events, Hair Force One is back to ring in 2013 with their first PHRESH CUTZ event of the year, the oh-so-elegant So Phresh, So Clean, a (Formal) Queer Pop-Up Barbershop and Dance Party! Yes, it’s a formal themed bash, and yes, it’s extremely legit, and yes, I think every queer in Brooklyn and beyond is gonna show up, so what I’m saying is obviously I think you should go.

Actually I feel so strongly about it that I wrote you a poem. Ahem.

Twas the night before PHRESH CUTZ
and all through the land
shaggy haired queers were cheering
and clapping their hands.
“Let’s go to Brooklyn,”
they said loud and clear
and to Brooklyn they’ll go
from distances far and near.
They squealed as they told
all their friends the good news:
this would be a place for sexy hair,
dancing, queers and tons of booze.
“And these barbers won’t misunderstand
what we mean when we say,
I want an alternative lifestyle haircut
and I want it today!”
Yes PHRESH CUTZ is scissors and clippers and dancing galore
no more does a bang trim feel like a chore.
So rejoice, my dear queers,
those sad days are gone,
now get ye ass to PHRESH CUTZ
and party til dawn!

And now that you’re all impressed (slash appalled, it’s fine, I’m not a poet for a reason) here are the cold hard shiny facts:

When: Saturday, January 19, 7:30pm – 2am (haircuts end at midnight)

Where: LaunchPad at 721 Franklin Ave., Brooklyn, New York (take the 2, 3, 4, 5, or S)

Cover: $7/2 drinks, $10/2 drinks + haircut, $5 flat rate for non-drinkers

Dress Code: Formal/semi-formal. Optional, obviously, but why not dress up? I’ll be reviewing Lizz’s winter fancy fashion tips tonight.

For more info and to RSVP (please try to RSVP) visit the Facebook event.

Some things to note:

+ I’ll be working the photo booth at this event all night, so please come say hi to me because secretly I’m a little bit shy even though every other Autostraddle staff member will tell you that’s a lie!

+ I’ll also be scouting the scene for crazysexycool kids to feature as Straddlers On The Street, so if you’ve been dying to submit but haven’t gotten around to it, now’s your chance!

+ Today, this very moment, is KC Danger‘s birthday! Yes! It’s true! So when you see Danger running shit like a boss tomorrow, please make sure to say something extra nice to her, because she is quite simply the bees knees.

Happy PHRESH CUTZ eve, everyone! See ya tomorrow.

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So Phresh, So Clean, a (Formal) Queer Pop-Up Barbershop and Dance Party! takes place from 7:30pm – 2am on Saturday, January 19th at LaunchPad, 721 Franklin Ave., Brooklyn, NY. Haircuts will end at midnight.

Maggie Keenan-Bolger On Being A Queer Lady In Musical Theater

The holidays can be an interesting time for anyone, but I feel that it is particularly strange for queer people. Many of us have to leave our gay-mecca cities and return to towns where all the bars are named after small animals. The last LezCab was all about coming home, or out, at Christmas. It was a super festive and delightfully fun show with some singer-songwriters and pop artists thrown into the mix. The case also performed a funny and polished song from Lesbian Love Octagon. I meandered around backstage, caught up with the performers and creepily watched them from the wings. Here is a glimpse behind the scenes at the December LezCab:

Here is a clip of the song “Ubiquitous Ex-Girlfriend” from Lesbian Love Octagon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rrTbpBz-ZjU

This month’s actor experience comes from Maggie Keenan-Bolger. I’ve been working with Maggie on her show The Birds and the Bees Unabridged, which goes up the last week of March. She is a mover and shaker in the theatre world as well as the political scene. I feel that you can tell a lot about a person from their bookshelf and hers is filled with young adult novels, gender studies texts and Sarah Waters novels. I ‘ve had some awesome whiskey-driven conversations with this girl and I’m happy to have her here to share some of her experiences as a queer lady in music theatre.

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Maggie: Whenever anyone mentions the anomaly of queer women in music theatre, I usually reply with some variation of “Oh, you mean all three of us?” Indeed, having done hundreds of shows from the time I was 5, I have to think pretty darn hard to come up with a time when I wasn’t the only out queer lady in the cast.

Thanks to my unusually small stature, this wasn’t really too much of a problem until I hit college. My usual character age-range ran somewhere between 10-16 so it was unusual that I had to play romantically opposite anyone. But when I got to college, my professors declared that my goal for the upcoming four years was to “learn how to play an adult.” What they should have said was that my goal was actually to “learn how to play heterosexual romantic leads.”

Let’s face it; the roles for women in music theatre are pretty one-dimensional to begin with. Either you’re a pretty voice whose main objective is to support the story of the leading man, or a “quirky” character played mostly for laughs and comedic effect. These are obviously sweeping generalizations and there are some incredibly refreshing exceptions, but overall, this seems to be the trend.

And here’s the thing. I’m really bad at playing “romantic” with anyone. No matter what the gender! In college, it often seemed that no matter what I did, my own awkwardness and feelings about attraction and sexuality overrode any attempts at embodying another person. With boys, I’m so used to doing everything to avoid romantic advances, my characters turn cold and distant. With girls, I got so used to pretending to NOT have crushes on the girls in high school who I liked, as soon as the (albeit, more welcome) advances began I would start hopping around stage like a jackrabbit, terrified, excited and so, SO awkward. Now, I’ve known many a queer woman who can play romance like a pro, alas, I am not one of them. My professors did their best and by the end of my time in undergrad I could pull out “romantic lead” without getting an immediate case of the hives. That said, I missed being able to play characters who I didn’t feel like I was hiding in. Out of college, I soon discovered it was all for naught as miraculously I was still being cast primarily as teenagers in spite of my actual age. I also soon discovered that I could rarely go out for lesbian characters anyways; I was “too femme” to read queer and “too butch” to read hetero.

Thankfully, these days I have found a happy medium. I work with women, LGBT groups and young people around the city and we create our own characters. We devise theatre from the ground up, using our own ideas, experiences and opinions to shape the people we’re playing instead of archetypes and assumptions. It doesn’t mean it’s easy work, but at least I no longer feel like a square peg attempting to squeeze into a round hole (there’s a sexual innuendo in there, but I’m going to avoid it for now…). I’m never “too femme, butch, short, fat, blonde…” for any character, because women come in all varieties and I get to represent that instead. Ironically, I’ve been cast far more in traditional theatre since finding my niche creating out-of-the-box characters. It turns out, if you can walk into a casting room, be unapologetic about your long hair, big hips, and propensity to pass as a 16 year old, every now and then people buy into it, and decide you’re just right the way you are.

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There is a certain level of ostracism that happens when you realize you are different from most of your peers, and it’s not that that can’t be played at by straight actors, it just feels even more gratifying when the actors of the characters you fall in love with have or are looking for female partners. It’s sort of like the girls obsessed with Mr. Bieber; he will not date many, if not any, of the girls who are obsessed with him, but there is that hope. They are in love with an image, but the image is based on truth.

My friend is astounded that I have read every lesbian novel and know every lesbian character on television. I feel that those two things are related, so is the fact that it is newsworthy that Sarah Paulson, a real live queer woman, is playing a queer character on television. All of these things are intertwined because it can feel isolating or lonely to notice that one is different or that one is not represented in the media the same way that others are. I read every young adult lesbian novel in the library because I wanted to see that maybe there were other girls feeling the way I did. I want to see that there are other actors out there that have dealt similar issues or maybe just want to sleep with other girls. In that search for love, there is a need to see that there is possibility and that either those girls that are like you have found love or that they might be looking for you.

Hope to see you on Sunday for the next LezCab! Here is a picture of all the beautiful ladies who will be featured.

You can make reservations for the January 20th LezCab here.