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Superqueero Roundup Recap: Canonically Queer

Valerie Anne
Nov 2, 2016

Welcome to your Superqueero Roundup Recap, the place where Valerie Anne recaps all the queer and feminist goodness on all of DC’s superhero shows the day after they air. These recaps (and wee-caps) are posted in reverse chronological order, with the newest ones appearing up top. Make sure you’re following us on Twitter so you’ll know when this roundup recap is updated!


Legends of Tomorrow 204: Aberration Palooza

I don’t know if they hired more women to run this show or if they just figured out what was working and what wasn’t because this season of Legends of Tomorrow is getting smarter and fiercer and I’m loving every minute of it. It’s unsurprising that the two best show in CW’s DC line-up are the ones where women are in the lead.

This week we’re going back to Mississippi in 1863, the height of the Civil War, because the Legends got a distress call from a time pirate and they have to make sure he doesn’t muck anything up.

Sara tells Ray that he should stay on the ship and be their eyes in the sky, but everyone knows he’s sort of second string now that he doesn’t have his suit and that Sara’s just trying to spare his feelings.

Stein pulls Jax aside and suggests maybe he stay behind, too, and he knows that it’s because he’s black and they’re about to head into the Civil War. But Jax lets him know that there’s literally no time or place they could go where racism wouldn’t exist at all, so he’ll be fine.

So everyone dresses up and heads on out. (Amaya is confused as to how she’s meant to fight in a dress, but Sara lets her know it’s all too possible.)

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This is the face I make while getting ready for weddings aka the only time I wear a dress.

When they land and find the time pirate’s ship, they hear someone calling out for help. Everyone flinches but the Original Legends are ready to stay on task. Amaya is new to the team though, so she can’t resist the cry for help. The team decides (wisely) that they’re better off helping her and getting this over with than fighting her so they stop some Confederate soldiers who are chasing a man through the field.

They find out that this man, Henry Scott, has been sent to steal plans from the Confederate Army, but before they can send him on his way, the Confederate soldiers they killed get back up and are…well, zombies.

Sara and Vixen kick ass (despite the dresses, Vixen is surely glad to learn) and the team takes down the walking dead.

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Negan who?

Unfortunately, Scott got too badly injured in the battle to survive it, but passes on his mission before he dies.

Ray gathers that some of the nonsense the time pirate said in his distress signal was about a bioweapon (apparently TX90 isn’t a fancy calculator from the future) and he’s probably spreading it to the soldiers. One of said soldiers spread it to Mick.

Captain Sara checks the future news and sees that if they don’t follow through with Scott’s mission, the war goes the wrong way and the world as we know it will cease to exist, so they have to try to finish what Scott set out to do.

Jax knows it has to be him; the reason they sent freedmen to carry out tasks like this was because they could move virtually unnoticed. Sara is worried about this plan.

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“You’re one of the only ones with more than half a brain on this ship I’d rather not get you killed.”

But she knows he’s right so she lets him go, and asks him to take Amaya with him.

Meanwhile, Nate and Sara are going to go talk to Ulysses S. Grant about this whole zombie apocalypse situation. On the way, Nate cautiously tries to ask Sara if maybe he could take the lead on this one, and she does this amazing thing with her face and voice and is like, “Because you’re a man?” but really it’s because he’s a Grant fanboy and wants to look Cool and Tough.

On their way to the plantation to steal the plans, Jax and Amaya stumble across a slave woman being whipped and even though everyone’s hearts are breaking and blood is boiling, Jax knows they can’t do anything to save her. He says that it could affect too much in the future, and worse, it could blow their cover and then they wouldn’t be able to steal the plans, and then the Confederate Army will win.

When they finally find General Grant, you can see Sara physically trying to restrain herself from taking charge as Nate introduces him as Colonel Sanders and fumbles through his explanation of the situation. Finally Sara can’t take it anymore and is like brb and comes back with a zombie head that’s still grumbling and growling and says THIS is what is heading toward you right now.

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I censored the zombie because Heather’s my editor and I didn’t want to give her nightmares.

And then Sara starts talking strategy. With Ulysses S. Grant. Gah, I love this show.

Jax makes it to the plantation house and no one really pays attention as he heads into an office to look for the plans. But on the way to check another room, he bumps into a woman. He does what should be considered polite, putting a gentle hand on hers to steady her and apologizing to her face. But the head of the household saw it and points out that this is not the way slaves are meant to behave. Jax remains impressively calm, head held high, but this motherfucker of course is pissed because he’s a racist asshole and drags Jax down to the basement to be chained up with other slaves.

Somewhere in the tussle of getting him down there, Jax’s comm was knocked out, but back on the Waverider, Stein is hit with the most intense blast of sadness and fear and anger that he has ever received from their psychic connection.

But even though Jax needs their help and Sara needs their help, Stein and Ray are dealing with Mick the Zombie right now so every duo is on their own.

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Where’s Nyssa when you need her?

Down in the basement, the other slaves know instantly that Jax isn’t a slace, because his name is Jefferson Jackson and his hands haven’t seen a day of manual labor. He tries to explain why he’s there and that he needs their help, but what can they do? He asks them how they stand it, how they don’t lose their minds, how they don’t just lie down and give up. And one woman looks him square in the eye and says it’s because that’s what they want. They want to break them, they want to own them, but they won’t let them win. So they sing a beautiful, mournful song and they stay as strong as they’re able.

Amaya, unable to reach Jax, gets tired of waiting and strolls into the party. A beautiful woman, she doesn’t go unnoticed, and her accent goes full southern belle but her attitude is full snark and he scolds her for sassing her “better” which earns him a look not unlike how a hungry lion would look at a gazelle who strutted too close to the pride.

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You can practically hear the hungry purr-growl.

Amaya lets this shitticket lead her down to the basement but as soon as she has eyes on Jax, she kicks his ass, takes his keys, and frees Jax. Jax meanwhile has changed his mind. He wants to free these slaves. He promises them that it gets better and the writers put a very important line in there: “Nowhere near perfect. Not even close. But better than this.”

They’re a little wary of the danger that comes with running, but then one woman recognizes Vixen’s amulet; she has ancestors from the same village. So she trusts these newcomers to protect them, and the rest of the prisoners take her lead.

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Warrior Princess

The zombies have reached the plantation, so Jax and Amaya split up — Amaya is going to take their new friends to safety and Jax is going to finish Scott’s job and find the plans. One of the men from the basement knows where the plans are, so he goes with Jax and pulls them from behind a picture; someplace Jax never would have looked on his own.

The head of the household sees them and is freaking out about the zombies and Jax, with an impossible kindness, says that if he gives them weapons they can help each other, but the man would rather get eaten alive by zombies than do that so get eaten alive by zombies he does.

Back at the soldier camp, Nate is trying to talk strategy with Grant but he’s a dope. Sara is throwing knives behind them to clear her head because she’s the best. Finally she has an idea to solve for the fact that they don’t have enough ammo to beat the Confederates and the zombies, so she pulls Nate aside to talk to him about it.

Grant tells Sara that she better put her plan in motion STAT because it’s already quite clear to him that she’s the one really in charge. Their plan is to use Nate’s Steel-iness to blow up the zombies so she tells him run fast, run hard, don’t die.

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Clear eyes, full hearts, zombie slayer.

Grant isn’t sure if Nate is brave or dumb (I argue he can be both) and he watches with Sara as Nate runs into the herd of zombies with a flare, turns into Steel, shoves the flare into a box and makes it go boom.

Meanwhile on the timeship, Mick turns back from being a zombie just in time to not eat Stein’s face. He was worried he went into some kind of gay blackout (rainbow out?) and was trying to kiss Stein and Stein would have much preferred that to what was actually happening but it’s all good now.

At the plantation, Jax drops an oil lamp on the zombies and gets them good. On the way out, he stops and they watch the plantation burn for a bit before heading back to join their team.

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“So we will walk through the fire and let it burn.”

Back on the battlefield, Sara is literally commanding Grant’s troops while they try to see if Nate survived the blast. It’s so beautiful. Then Nate comes crawling out from under the heap of bodies and Sara is so relieved and happy that she didn’t lose one of her teammates on her like third day as Captain.

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Turn down the wattage, Sara, you can’t have another teammate falling in love with you (unless Nyssa joins the team).

Jax delivers the maps to Grant and officially becomes the hero of the Civil War — though since he’s a good kid he says his name is Henry Scott to honor the man who was supposed to do this job. It’s obviously super important that Jax and Henry Scott are the real heros of this episode; the world doesn’t need more White Savior stories. (Speaking of which Civil War heroes, have you ever watched Octavia Spencer as Harriet Tubman on Drunk History? Once again, a Comedy Central sketch show where people are literally snozzled gets it more right than Hollywood.)

Grant welcomes the former slaves into his camp, saying there’s food and water for all of them, taking off his hat to greet them.

Grant pulls Sara aside to give her some advice, leader to leader. She won’t ever get used to putting men in harm’s way, but Grant tells her that as long as she believes in her cause she can’t regret her decisions. As long as her intentions are true, she doesn’t have to bear the burden of guilt. Oh, Ulysses S. Grant, that kind of naivete is what’s going to lead you to having one of the most corrupt White House administrations in history! He’s right about the fact that sometimes you gotta put people in harm’s way, though, especially if your whole thing is traveling through time to save the world. And it’s nice to have these moments where Sara’s place as leader is cemented!

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“Oh you mean I don’t HAVE to mope about my choices like Oliver does?”

Once back on the ship, Mick gives Ray Snart’s ice gun, which is a little cold (no pun intended) in my opinion but at least Ray won’t feel so useless anymore.

Stein goes to check on Jax, and asks if he’s okay. Because he just witnessed first hand the very worst of humanity, and even though Stein can literally feel what he’s feeling, he knows he can’t possibly understand what he’s feeling. Jax says that yes, it was the most terrible thing he’s ever seen or experienced in his life, but that he found something he didn’t expect to: Hope. These people were literally beaten and chained but they somehow held onto their dignity and their faith.

Jax is inspired by their ability to find a drop of hope in an ocean of darkness, and Stein is inspired by Jax’s ability to take that away from this horrible experience.

Y’all, Legends of Tomorrow got REAL this week. I’ve always admired that they don’t back down from comments about race and sexuality — like when they went to the ’50s and Sara and Jax had to tell Stein to check his old straight white man privilege, especially when talking to a Black man and a bisexual woman. But this? This got so real. And hopeful, but not in the sugar-coated way. They acknowledged the racism is still a huge problem, but let Jax find a way to not be just wholly traumatized and broken by being in Mississippi in the Civil War. And it was interesting that they managed to balance such heavy-hitting topics with a zombie army.

I’m curious as to whether this was a special episode, or if they plan on taking on culturally significant topics like this more often. Or if this was just a way to get to know and love Jax a little more.

Heather’s Note: 

I couldn’t help but wonder if the zombie Confederate army was thinly veiled symbolism to represent the 2016 election. Our heroes took down Confederate soldiers. The end! The good guys win! But the fight against racism in America has never been that easy or clean-cut and what we’ve witnessed in the rise of Donald Trump isn’t just a delusional rejection of the realities of systemic racism in our country by a presidential candidate/political party, but a complete resurrection of unabashed, fully-formed, naked racism. An endorsement by the literal Ku Klux Klan.

And if this episode really is an allegory, it’s even more important that Jax was the real hero of the story. Because we already know based on polling that the people swaying the 2016 election in Hillary’s favor are people of color, including Mothers of the Movement, President and Michelle Obama, and Black voters whose ability to cast their ballot has been severely limited by Republican legislatures and who are facing the threat of violence at the polls on election day. A zombie Confederate army.

I have a feeling we’ll be back to some fluffier stuff next week, since we’re heading to the ’80s, the era of glam rock, jumpsuits, and really questionable hair choices.


Arrow 505: Needs More Women

Okay so maybe this was obvious to everyone else but I finally realized that the problem with this season of Arrow is not just one thing. It’s a combination of things. 1) There’s not nearly enough Felicity, that’s plain to see. 2) Needs more women. But I say that about everything always because it’s always true. But the one that hit me this week was a little more specific: It needs more women being badass vigilante fighters. Laurel has been fridged, Thea has been benched, Nyssa is nowhere to be found. Artemis is great but she’s just a kid. So far she’s just doing everything Oliver says. Which is fine, and she holds her own, but I want more.

One bit of potentially good news on this front is that they cast Lexa Doig to play Talia al Ghul, and hopefully they’re not dumb enough to have Talia come to town without Nyssa close on her heels.

Okay on to the episode.

Rene is still kidnapped by Church and Felicity is angry at her computer for not giving her the answers like it always does. Team Arrow: B Squad comes in, and Diggle is back, too. They’re all heading out again to look for their lost Dog but Oliver seems uncharacteristically calm and hopeful, so everyone is suspicious.

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Oliver goes off to do mayor stuff and Ragman and Baby Bird find some blood and know they’re on Rene’s trail. Felicity uses this information to find where Church has Rene now, and Oliver swoops in to save him.

Church got away and didn’t put up much of a fight, and Rene says it’s probably because he gave up the identity of the Green Arrow. So the Team spreads out to try to stop that information from getting into even more of the wrong hands.

Oliver can’t help though because he has to do some mayor stuff with Thea, including but not limited to talking to a stubborn dude about zoning while Susan Williams sits nearby just to make him sweat.

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I’m sweating too but for different reasons.

Literally they couldn’t even think of a fake reason for her to be there. Oliver was like, “Why is a reporter in a private political meeting?” and Thea was all, “Hell if I know, but it’s Carly Pope, just go with it.”

The duo kind of steamrolls Oliver, much to Thea’s disappointment. I’m starting to think she should be mayor.

Since heaven forbid Felicity ever just be single again and not pining for anyone, Felicity enjoys a little afternoon delight with her boyfriend. He got a promotion and is part of the Anti-Crime Unit now, and when he asks if it’ll be weird for her that he’ll be working for Oliver, she lies lies lies and says it’ll be just fine.

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“I’m as fine as Alex Danvers when she met Maggie’s date!”

Prometheus drops in on Church and tells him to leave the Green Arrow alone and I swear to Bob if Prometheus is Malcolm Merlyn I’m going to throw a fit.

Anyway, Oliver arranged another interview with Susan Williams, despite Thea’s protests (SHE IS VERY EVIL AND I DON’T LIKE HER AT ALL OR THINK SHE’S PRETTY OR ANYTHING SHUT UP) and Susan is surprised too, but Oliver just wants to know what he has to do to win her over.

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Yes, please, do tell.

Oliver asks for a month of patience to prove that he can be good at this job and Susan not only agrees but gives him her number. This is unsettling until we find out that she’s blackmailing a dude for insider info on the mayor and finds a picture of Flashback Oliver and laughs and laughs and laughs and hopefully plans to rid us of those godforsaken flashbacks once and for all.

Mayor Queen goes back to the stubborn politician and plays his card in such a way that he strongarms him into changing his mind and Thea is proud of her big brother.

On the way out of the building, they get attacked, and Oliver gets very shot.

I know you were worried about the straight white lead male character getting shot square in the chest multiple times, but he’s fine. It wasn’t even Oliver, it was someone called The Human Target. He rips off a Pretty Little Liars-style unrealistically realistic mask and throws it at Felicity, who immediately goofs around with it.

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“Hi I’m Sin Rostro my love story with Luisa is the greatest of all time!”

Then Oliver does that thing where he takes a man’s word and decides to let Felicity move on with her new boyfriend (that said boyfriend told Not!Oliver about) because this dude told him to instead of just because she’s an independent human being worthy of his respect.

He goes to see Felicity to tell her that he’s sad she didn’t tell him she had a new boyfriend.

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Oh like the kid you have that you were so forthcoming about?

And then gives her the permission to date she didn’t ask for.

Eventually Team Arrow fights Church again and arrest him, Oliver wins the zoning thing he was working on, and all seems to be tied up in a neat little bow.

But then the transpo vehicle taking Church to prison is attacked by Prometheus. Church tells Prometheus that the Green Arrow is Oliver Queen, expecting it to gain him some bonus points, but instead he is killed for his troubles.

The end. Tomorrow it’s back to what really matters: Sara Lance. This year the CW DC TV universe is like a sandwich where the insides are fine and sometimes you’ll eat it, sometimes you’ll just pick at it but the bread! Oh man the BREAD! It’s fresh and bisexual and delicious and even when you know the middle bits might be disappointing, you look forward to that sandwich every week, for the bread.


The Flash 305: Let THAT Go, Shittickets

Yet again not much to report on The Flash, but who knows how any of this will play into the Legends of SuperFlArrow mega crossover so let’s do a brief overview shall we?

The monster of the week is a giant alien creature that appears and reappears at random, stomping around a ten block radius, not doing much more than setting off car alarms and wreaking general havoc. The team works together with Julien, Barry’s metahuman-hating lab partner, to try to figure out where this creature came from and how to stop it. Barry also tries to figure out why Julien is so damn grumpy all the time, and it turns out that he moved here to America to escape his past as a child wizard who was always second-best to the Boy Who Lived, only to find out he was onced again passed over for being chosen when everyone around him got powers. And they’re all using it for evil, and he has first hand experience as to why that’s just dumb. But in the end, the monster was a hologram created by a regular-human child and The Flash stops Julien from killing the kid dead, so Julien decides maybe he’s capable of being wrong and gives both metahumans and Barry a second chance.

Hooray.

Iris doesn’t do much this episode besides ping back and forth between Barry and her father, giving one food and the other dating advice. But she’s still got some snark so hopefully that’ll come back out soon.

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I wonder if she knows Nyssa al Ghul from the My Character is Being Criminally Underused support group.

At Star Labs, the team tries to figure out what the new Harrison Wells — sorry, HR — is all about, and after being suspicious about how he’s not actually helpful and finding a shady recording in his bag, they find out that he’s not a scientist at all, but a novelist and an “idea man”. But they decide maybe they could use some ideas eventually so they let his goofy self stick around for a few more weeks.

The real story in this episode, for me, was Caitlin’s, because it still feels like a bit of a coming out metaphor. So Caitlin realized she has powers a few months ago, but she’s been keeping them from everyone. Finally they’re becoming so obvious she’s having a hard time denying them, so she goes to an expert for help: Dr. Carla Tanhauser. Who also happens to be Caitlin’s mother.

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“This place seems warm and inviting.”

Dr. Tanhauser is rude and stand-offish when Caitlin asks for her help — she’s a very busy woman and she hasn’t got all day — but then Caitlin slams her hands down on her mother’s desk and Elsas the shit out of it. This gets her mother’s attention and she agrees to run some test.

The tests prove her powers are very strong, and that she’s not only freezing things, but absorbing their energy.

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Soak it up like male tears to grow stronger!

Mama Tanhauser is somehow the cold one in this relationship, though, and accuses Caitlin of disappearing for three years and only returning because she needs help.

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But Caitlin says that their relationship was never the same after her father died, and when she says Caitlin can’t know what it’s like to lose your husband, Caitlin says that actually yes she knows exactly what it’s like. Her mother doesn’t react to this news practically at all, it’s very strange.

Caitlin is done being poked and prodded, so she starts to leave, but her mother’s lab assistant won’t let her leave. He has been living in Dr. Tanhauser’s shadow for years and examining Caitlin’s powers could be his ticket to be his own scientist.

So she goes Killer Frost on his ass.

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Let THAT go, shitticket.

Her mother comes in before she can actually become a killer, thaws her daughter out and sends her on her way.

Later, Mama sends Caitlin a message that tells her maybe not to come out to anyone just yet — ah no, sorry; my metaphor got away from me. She tells Caitlin not to use her powers, because they could be too difficult to reverse; they’re getting stronger the more she uses them.

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The cold never bothered me anyway.

But even as the message plays, Caitlin gets worked up and she ices the whole computer. My advice would be more like learn how to embrace your powers and use them for good, find some metahuman friends, go to the metahuman pride parade, write TV recaps for a metahuman website. It’s going to be okay, my little Snow angel.


Supergirl 204: Canonically Queer

Hello. I am Valerie Anne, a very professional television recapper at Autostraddle dot com, and I shall remain calm while recounting the events of this week’s episode of Supergirl.

HAHA JK I’M STILL SCREAMING WHAT IS AIR

Eh hem. Okay, I’m sure we can find a happy medium here. I just can’t believe this is happening. When I fell in love with Supergirl, I wasn’t even that mad there wasn’t a queer woman on it right off the bat. It was being co-created by a queer woman, and the show was feminist and fierce without it. I figured I could wait until season three or four, if that’s what it took to get the show off the ground.

Then in swaggered Maggie Sawyer. And y’all. I think this is gonna be good.

I mean almost right off the bat (after Mon-El being told he’s under house arrest at the DEO), Alex gets a phone call, and it’s Maggie inviting her to check out a dead body together. It’s very romantic.

The reason Maggie thought of Alex first is because a) she’s always on her mind probably b) the body they found was an alien who appears to have been killed by another alien. Supergirl drops in, too, and Maggie looks at her like she’s a shiny, blue-and-red third wheel. And Kara can barely keep up as Maggie and Alex theorize about what happened, finishing each other’s thoughts at a breakneck speed. Kara suddenly regrets getting between them and realize the Sawyer and Danvers duo has it covered.

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“How are you more in tune with my sister than I am?”

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“Huh, I guess they’re best friends now!”

Kara takes the story (about the aliens, not about the chemistry between Alex and Maggie) and pitches it to Snapper, but she is grossly underprepared and he lets her know. But he doesn’t write her off completely; he tells her to go get more information and come back.

Meanwhile, J’onn goes to visit M’gann, who goes by Megan on this world. She tells him that she was put in an internment camp by white martians until one helped her off the planet 300 years ago. And frankly, that’s as much as she wants to discuss it. He asks her to mind meld with him but she’d prefer a fella buy a girl a drink first so she asks him to leave her be.

At the DEO, Winn got the name of a suspect for the alien murder, and asks Alex if she wants him to organize a team for her to take with her, but she only needs one person on her team. (Spoiler alert: it’s Maggie Sawyer.)

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CUFF ME

The alien doesn’t look nearly as happy to see them as I would be, and starts to fight them, and I hope they’re both wearing bulletproof everything because every time they smile at each other their lives are 2x more at risk than they were before.

They end up kicking his ass and are about to arrest him when some dudes with a van come and take him away, against his will.

Back at the DEO again, the Danvers Sisters use their sweet doe eyes to ask J’onn if he’s okay.

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“And remember, the shattered remains of your fragile male ego will only make us stronger.”

At the threat of pouting, he confesses that he thinks he came on too strong with Megan. He misses the bond Martians could have with each other, a connection he thought he’d never get to experience again, and the fact that it’s so close but so far is really throwing him for a loop. But the Danvers girls know how to win over a lady, so they give him some advice and send him on his way.

Kara goes to talk to her hologramama, who tells her to believe in herself, and Mon-El interrupts. They chat, and I don’t know if it’s just from the high of other stuff going on in the episode or because I’m into anyone who makes Kara smile (and who is not Winn) but I didn’t hate this scene. It didn’t feel romantic or sexual but they had a cute tete-a-tete and maybe he can stay for a bit if he wants.

BUT sorry bro we have more important things to talk about.

Maggie calls Alex and invites her out, telling her to wear something nice. Alex obviously doesn’t ask any questions, and shows up in a back alley dressed to the nines. And my friends, we have seen this fierce human being go up against the biggest, baddest aliens without batting an eye, but when Maggie Sawyer tells her she cleans up nice, Alex Danvers stammers. She tries to return the compliment but she trips over her words and can barely look directly at the perfect woman in front of her.

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It’s like being too close to a bright star.

Maggie holds her signature smile and says she’s not all business as though she hasn’t been fully dimpled every time she’s near Alex.

Then Alex literally says, “But this is, right?” Those are her actual words. As in: “This is definitely for sure not a date, right, but just a 100 percent business situation between two co-workers whose jobs sometimes involve standing really close in fancy clothes and staring into each other’s eyes?” Which is the exact thing you say when you want it to be a date. And the mixed signals continue as Maggie confirms it’s business, gives her a masquerade mask, and takes Alex by the hand.

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“Take my hand, I’ll take the lead, and every turn will be safe with me.”

And you know, I almost said, “Takes Alex by the hand and leads her right out of the closet,” which would be a joke in most other recaps, but I think my dreams of Alex being canonically queer for longer than we’ve known her might come true. She doesn’t seem alarmed about her feelings, and she wasn’t embarrassed to be vibing with Maggie in front of Kara, or calling her giddily in front of Winn. We’ll see, I guess.

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She’s so proud to have the prettiest gal in the room on her arm.

Once inside, Maggie grabs them both a glass of champagne and they settle in to see what’s happening.

Enter Roulette, who is here to introduce the first two fighters in her underground alien fight club.

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Have you met my friend Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy?

And I mean DAMN, Dichen Lachman maybe really does run an underground alien fight club? Because I’ve seen her play calm, cool, and collected, but this is next level. She slinks around in a slinky dress with a slinky snake tattoo and introduces the next fighters, one of which is the undefeated champion, M’gann aka Miss Martian.

Suddenly Maggie realizes they’re in a little over their head, and wishes they had called for backup, but don’t worry, Alex had Kara standing by in case this wasn’t a date after all. Roulette is thrilled when Supergirl drops in, and has someone all ready to fight her. He’s called Draga and, well, yikes.

Luckily, before she gets turned into dragon food, Alex and Maggie have broken up the party and opened the cage, sending Draga and everyone else running.

In what might have been the second-gayest subplot of the episode, Mon-El ends up tricking Winn into taking him out drinking, but it ends in too many shenanigans and broken bones to be considered a date. And besides, second place in the gayest race this episode went, once again, to Kara and Lena. But we’ll get to that.

First we have to talk about J’onn finding out that Megan was in the fight club and FLYING INTO HER APARTMENT UNINVITED. Very rude. She promises him she’s never killed anyone, and the humans aren’t using her, she’s fighting for herself. She says she’s trying to make a new life for herself and forget the past. And she’d appreciate it if he’d leave her alone.

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“I’m very invested in this Sanvers storyline and you’re wasting time.”

She tells J’onn that Roulette’s real name is Veronica Sinclair and that he is welcome to take that information and GTFO.

Supergirl pays Ms. Sinclair a visit, but Roulette isn’t afraid. She’s caressing a glass of champagne like it’s Cruella DeVille’s cigarette holder and does something scarier than trying to fight Kara: She tries to stamp out her hope. She tells her that nothing Supergirl can do will ever stop humans from hating aliens, from seeing them as less than, as animals they’d rather see fight in a cage. That’s something she’d bet on, and she only takes safe bets.

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I feel like a bad Hufflepuff when I’m this attracted to evil characters.

Kara paces around the DEO, desperate not to lose this game of Roulette. Part of the issue is, it seems like these aliens are fighting voluntarily, or at least joining up voluntarily, so she has to find a way to show them that they’re worth more than that.

J’onn is being less than helpful (and less than kind) and Kara gets it out of him that he went to yell at Megan again and she scolds him for it, but then she realized that she was doing the same thing to Mon-El and goes to apologize. She is patient and kind with him, and he promises to behave. He also gives Kara a tip for fighting Draga and Kara is starting to see him as an individual, not just a Daxonian.

J’onn goes back to Megan and apologizes for trying to tell her how to live. She doesn’t look very happy to see him, even with his kind words, and we learn why when he gets zapped and kidnapped by Roulette and her goons.

When Alex realizes Megan and J’onn are both missing, she sends Kara back to the warehouse, but the fight club is long gone. But don’t worry, Kara knows exactly who to go to for help. She storms directly into Lena Luthor’s office, despite protests from Lena’s assistant, and this is what Lena Luthor, sister of Lex Luthor, CEO and founder of an entire corporation, about Kara Danvers, newbie reporter: “Kara is to be shown in immediately.” All the time. An open invitation. Always. Kara literally goes, “I am?”

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“I shall not be out-gayed by Maggie Sawyer!”

And it’s not over! Kara asks if Lena knew Roulette, and she says that she went to boarding school with the Sinclair girl but didn’t much care for her, so she gives Kara the location of the event. Kara is very appreciative and says she owes Lena big time, and Lena looks like she has every intention of having Kara make good on that promise.

I wrote in my notes that at this meeting of the fight club, everyone is wearing “weird fly sunglasses” and what I MEANT was that everyone kind of looked like flies but also they looked about as cool as someone who would use the term “fly” to describe something so it’s a win-win.

Roulette says that the Green Martians have to fight to the death, and though reluctant at first, Megan will do what it takes to survive, so she starts punching on J’onn. He eventually talks her down and she decides she’s not going to kill him, but Roulette had a backup plan, and that back-up plan is Draga.

Maggie and Alex show up and start to clear the room, and Supergirl drops into the cage to fight Draga. This time, she has a secret weapon, and goes right for his weak spot, taking him down easily(ish).

Maggie and Alex are ready to arrest Roulette, but she has an army of aliens standing around her. Kara gets between her humans and these aliens and reminds them that people like Roulette are the aliens, that they should be fighting against the people who call them dangerous, not proving those people right by fighting each other.

Everyone is moved and they let Maggie arrest Roulette. As she’s being dragged out, Kara Danvers looks Roulette right in her snake-eyes and says, “It’s not a good idea to bet against me.”

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Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.

Outside, Alex sees Maggie uncuffing Roulette and Maggie says that Ms. Sinclair has friends in high places and they have to let her go. They assure her they’re not done with her yet and resentfully watch her leave a free woman.

Alex reassures Maggie that she’s still a great cop — she says it almost like Tony the Tiger she’s so eager to pay Maggie the finest compliment she can think of: “You’re a GRRRREEEAT COP!” — and offers to try to turn the day around by buying Maggie a drink. And you know that feeling? That feeling where you really want to say something but you’ve been too scared to say it but finally you’re just doing it and you’re trying to play it cool but really you’re a little dizzy and you can actually feel your heart thumping a little too hard and a little too fast but you also feel a bit like you’re floating? You can SEE that feeling on Alex’s face as she asks Maggie out.

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She looks like nothing can touch her!

And for a second you think she’ll say yes!

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THOSE DIMPLES ARE VERY ENCOURAGING

But then Maggie says maybe some other time, and a woman sidles right up to Detective Maggie Sawyer and kisses her on the mouth.

So, a few things here. 1) I was wrong last week, she really did have a date. 2) Two women kissed on the mouth all casually on a family-friendly CW show about an iconic superhero. And no one flinched. Well, except for: 3) ALEX.

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I felt the punch in my own heart, I felt it!

You know that feeling when you feel a bit like you’re floating but then all of a sudden reality comes crashing down around you and damn it you didn’t mean to get your hopes so high but now here they are in tiny pieces on the ground next to the shattered remains of your heart? Alex’s face does all that in a moment. And I’m gutted.

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Let me love you, Alex Danvers.

But encouraged! I’m so here for the slow burn and I do hope that this is just a new dating situation and Maggie’s gal pal will be on her merry way soon enough. In the meantime, we’ll just enjoy what I feel confident we can call a Queer AF Alex Danvers. You don’t set up shot of a person standing between two other people’s faces trying to play it cool while they kiss if you don’t mean it.

Okay, let’s wrap it up! Kara gets approved for her story about the aliens, then goes to offer Mon-El the support she was meant to give her cousin before the whole time-hole thing.

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“Whaaat? No, they’re just gal pals!”

J’onn goes to talk to Megan again, this time knocking on the door and also letting her know that he wants her in his life, bond or no bond.

As soon as he leaves, Miss Martian shifts again, but this time she isn’t the Green Martian she’s shifted into before, but a big ol’ White Martian.

Which…didn’t surprise anyone on my Twitter feed, but I didn’t even know what the heck she WAS when she transformed! I don’t know how you had the mental capacity to Nancy Drew that fact in the same episode as Alex and Maggie’s flirtation ramped up, and I am very impressed.