Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we’ve decided to dedicate an entire post to answering them every month instead! We think this will be a lot of fun for everybody in the whole family. We have included as many as we can. Most of these questions have been answered by Riese unless otherwise indicated. We love you, your hair looks fantastic today!

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Hi I’m just feeling a lot of #autopride today. Pat yourself on the back today, AS staff, because your work matters and you make my day happier every day. :)

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Business and Technical Concerns

When are the YDY flasks coming back??
I think we are trying to debut NEW STYLES of things these days rather than repeating old ones, like we have the “Liquor In The…” flasks!

I wish the header images linked to the tag for the column. I realize this is very lazy of me and probably some amount of work for you, so I’m just going to ctrl-f the word “fool.”
The header images SHOULD link to the tag for the column, my friend! It would be some amount of work for us, but I think the amount of work it would be would be equivalent to “the amount of work that all our writers are supposed to be doing when they do their jobs.” I will add this to the List of Things To Yell At Everybody About This Week.

Why is there so much content up everyday? Don’t you all know I have a job I’m supposed to be doing?
We just have so much to say!!!!

This is definitely a pressing question; now that I’ve got my You Do You sticker AND my A+ membership sticker I feel as if nowhere is amazing enough for them! Where do people put their stickers?? Where do you guys put your stickers??? Like I want them to be visible to people outside of my house, but I’m just too indecisive! I feel like I need maybe 5 more stickers. Argh!

Firstly: phones! Phones are a great place to put your sticker.

Or you could put your sticker on your laptop. That is a very popular option — the A+ sticker on a laptop, we see that a lot. Even my MOM has an A+ sticker on her laptop.

Furthermore, have you considered putting your A+ sticker on a piece of fruit?

Also, Maddie’s Dad Bruce put his sticker here:

In conclusion, you probably should buy more stickers.

I wanted to let you know that I want to buy a RodeoH. The link to babeland.com (which is where most of your RodeoH links take me to) doesn’t carry it. I want to make sure you all get credit for my decision to buy it.
Welp, sadly it appears as though Babeland no longer carries the Rodeoh, which is very sad because I believe we have promoted it with zeal and also zest and enthusiasm.

Hello, I’m so sorry if this is a bother, but I was wondering how soon you will know when the next camp is. I’m planning my wedding for next May and I REALLY wanna bring my wife to camp. Thank you!
I’m so sorry that I actually do not know the answer to your question! The earliest it could possibly be would be Memorial Day weekend, I can tell you that much.

Hi Autostraddle! Is there a way to change the handle on my account?
No. There is an extremely time-intensive laborious back-end way to change the handle that we can figure out only in really important situations, such as a trans person changing their name, but presently that’s the only exception we are equipped to make.

These McDonalds ads are like shrouding the homepage in darkness and burgers and I don’t like it… : /
I don’t know what ads you are talking about but that sounds awful! Maybe eat a large bushel of kale, then pick some crab-apples from a tree, read about canning and dip your feet in a body of water or the toilet or something and then come back and see if they’re gone? If the ad isn’t a direct-sale ad, it’s usually triggered by something else in your browsing history or location and shows up different for everybody.

Hey guys, firstly, you all are the absolute best. My GF works in advertising and is curious to know if you are selling any inventory/ad spaces through programmatic exchanges. Although (so she tells me) there are open exchanges that are risky, are you using any more private exchange methods to sell ad space? This might already be something you do, in which case please ignore me, but we know raising money to keep this incredible place running is always a priority, and it could be an extra avenue to try if you’re not already doing it. I hope my words make sense – I’m still not 100% sure how her job actually works!! Again, you are super awesome and my internet would be a much sadder, more stupid place without you.
Yes, I think that the ad networks we’ve run through BuySellAds and Say Media were programmatic exchanges (which’s like, bidding on ad space, yeah?). Unfortunately nobody seemed to want to bid on our spaces beyond a $1 CPM (and usually much less). :-(

I promise, I searched and searched and searched for this answer before I decided to cave in and ask, but my searching skills evidently suck because I can’t find the answer – what happened to the A+ Podcast?? Is it no more? I really liked it, but I know y’all are busy so I get it if you are taking a break/not doing it anymore! Wait…did you say at the end of the last one it was the last one? That would be an epic fail on my part…
We’re still doing it! Right now we have some audio from camp that’s being edited into two different podcasts — one which’ll debut later this week — and basically we want to remodel the A+ podcast to be even awesomer than it has been, so right now the Podcast Editors are waiting for all the Senior Editors to have a minute to sit down and explain what we want to see on future episodes and then start making those dreams come true. Which will happen soon now that I am back from MY TRIP.

1) I sure wish there were a “preview comment” function 2) how come it says I deleted a comment on my profile but it still shows up on the post (in all of it’s horribly misformated glory)
1) Me too, it’s one of many things we could do if we had a larger budget than we do. But we don’t. 2) hm, you can’t actually delete your own comments, so I think whatever “Delete comment” functionality you possess might be profile-specific. I didn’t even know that was a thing you could do on your profiles, so thank you for providing me with this teachable moment.

Hi, Just wanted to let you guys know that I got my A+ Sticker. Thank you for sending it all the way to India. It was a very proud feeling receiving it. :-) If the postage was a problem, please do not send it the next year, well if you have the same offer for next year’s membership. Also, thank you for actually writing in the address, instead of making do with a printout. It must take a lot of time to write in the address for all your members, and I really appreciate you taking the time out; it made it more personal. and the handwriting is interesting. ;-) Now, I am wondering whose it was. :D You all have a great, fun, sunny weekend ahead! Aparna
Hello Aparna! I’m glad your sticker had a refreshing international flight and landed in your palms. Here is a fun fact for you: those envelopes were hand-addressed by my handy fiancé, Abby.

Would there be a possibility to add a notification system so that you could see when someone had responded to your post, that doesn’t operate through email notification? I personally would be much more active in making comments if I knew when people responded. Also I always forget to check the box, which is totally on me.
So the only thing we could think of that you might be referring to is a notifications system like Facebook or Instagram has — the problem is that we have like one-trillionth as much money as those companies do which is why unfortunately the answer to your question is “no.” But if you want, I can have Laneia puffy-paint CHECK THE BOX on a t-shirt dress (she always gets her t-shirts in size XL and wears them as dresses? IDK. Women, amirite?) and dance around your bedroom wearing the shirt whenever you comment. Actually, that would probably be the least expensive option.

Laneia says: I am ready for this life.

Hola!
It’s that awesome time of the year when my A+ Membership automatically renews itself and my peace of mind is restored; should the world end, at least I will go into the abyss reading AS and pondering queer issues. It’s empowering, y’know? However, I thought you should know that when I checked the subscription page, you’re still listing one of the benefits as a 2014 Official sticker/t-shirt. Maybe now we’re halfway through 2015, consider dropping the 2014, or putting “established” on there. [I remember in the Insider, Riese (?) explained that we wouldn’t get a new sticker each year, which I don’t mind. It’s on my fridge, BTW, and my Mum asks about it all the time…] Anyway, I’m probably overthinking this, and I trust you! Keep up the brilliant work!!
xx E
Hola, E! I wonder what your name is. I hope it’s Esmerelda. Anyhow, we were going with the idea that A+ was established in 2014 and thus we still used 2014 stickers, but I think the next batch will go out without a year on them at all. Because A+ is timeless.

So let’s say I TRIED to like respond to every single comment for a week’s worth of posts. WHAT DO I GET.
If I knew your name I would write it on my palm and every night before bed I’d whisper into my pillow “bless you [name] bless you [name]” and I think that would make it so your bedroom turned into a starry sky, like a hug from celestial goddesses.

You guys! The site keeps wigging out on me.
I hope this question comes from a darker time, namely “a time before the time that we upgraded to a better and more expensive server that is supposed to make everything happen really quickly like lightning.”

Can I just say that I love it when authors of articles respond to every comment (I’m thinking of Kate specifically right now). It feels so personal and warm and fuzzy and I just LOVE IT. Ok that’s all.
I love it when we have time to respond to all the comments too. I used to do that on my blog, I would respond to every single comment! That was nice. We all still try.

Hey, I noticed that your Misandrist tees are on sale. Are the other sizes going to be back in stock, or is this my last chance to snag one? 
This is your last chance to snag one!

how do i find the AS calendar?? could there maybe be a link to it somewhere?
We haven’t made a new calendar since 2014, but you can buy the 2014 one for the low low price of one dollar. If you just wanna gaze at the Calendar Girls, you can go right here.

FYI, friends, I wound up having to log out to find the page that breaks down the different A+ levels. I don’t know if it’s actually hard to find logged in or if I am just inept. (It’s renewal time, & I wanted to see the differences before I upgraded. The upgrade page assumes you know everything already. I know nothing.)
You are correct this is a significant oversight that we will endeavor to remedy!

Just wanted to say that I have renewed my A+ subscription despite the cancellation of The Fosters recaps. It was very dissappointing to see that show get the shaft again, particularly when you guys say you want to cater to the 30+ demographics. Stef and Lena (and Callie and Arizona) are the only representations of Us olds, the one thing on TV that are remotely close to what my interactions with my wife look like and a recaplet on Boobs on your Tube 7 days after the episode aired just doesn’t cut it. Granted, it is better than when an entire half season went by and AS didn’t even recap the show at all, or when Vikki’s recaps stopped running altogether but as the old After Ellen tag line said “visibility matters”.
First of all, thank you so much for renewing your A+ membership! And I hope that you have seen a lot of the other content we’ve been doing aimed at people over 30 — for the record, the vast majority of our senior staff is over 30 and we write about ourselves a lot! Unfortunately, recaps take 24-72 hours to put together and although we pay our writers, we don’t pay them nearly enough for what it takes to recap. As we discussed in our article about commenting, when nobody is commenting on those recaps, it’s very difficult to find a writer willing to recap! That’s what happened with Vikki. What happened with Heather is that she was recapping four shows at once and that was too much, it led to her not being able to get any of them in on time, and since The Fosters recaps weren’t getting much traffic or commentary, we had to make some cuts. We agree that visibility matters and will continue to do our best to better serve you. <3

At a-camp I did the ropes course but my group got there after the money had been collected and I was told to give you the money later and I just remembered a month later and I felt terrible so I just donated $40 to Autostraddle and I really hope that all works out.
Thank you!

Dear A+ Survey People: I would like to make a small change to my survey results. I really like the Personal Essays available on A+, and didn’t select an enthusiastic enough answer about them when I filled out my survey. Please adjust your results accordingly :) Many regards.
Thank you for this update regarding your feelings, I would like to also pass on my regards to you.

i was given some prime advice during the advice-a-thon and now that I need to refer back to it during some hard feels, I can’t find the post? I reached pg 4 of the A+ archives and it stopped! Halpp, I’m obviously doing something wrong?
I don’t know why this is happening to you, this feels mysterious, but here is the post you are looking for.

Where did Effing Dykes go?? I miss it!
I just want to say that my favorite questions are the questions that we also would like answers to but don’t have them. Maybe we could see if Starlee Kine could figure this out for you.

Will you send out emails when it is time to renew annual memberships?
Yes, you do get a reminder email from memberpress about renewing your membership before it expires!

hello there is an autoplay video with sound for ritz crackers right now and it has come on a few times today and like scrolls the page up and plays and when you try to mute it it comes back on after a few seconds? This is not a complaint, I totally don’t mind because I want y’all to make as much money as is possible but just wanted to make sure you knew it was happening in case it’s not supposed to be a thing. Sorry if this is a thing that you already know about! I’m sure some jerks have already complained about it a bunch! Carry on being the best!
hello! thank you for informing us of this. I think if you have the time (and you might not, which is totally fine!), if you could email alex [at] autostraddle [dot] com when that happens then we can deal with it faster.

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Also, I am so blown away by the recent content on AS. It’s always good, but recently, you guys. Incredible. So, so good. Thank you from the bottom of my mostly cold, cynical queer little heart.

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All-Consuming Needs To Share

All consuming need to share: So I’m about seven hours away from blowing up my life of leisure by breaking up and planning to move to Detroit. I guess. (I already hate Ohio winters, what am I thinking?!?) Riese, did I read you are moving to Motown soon? See, I have no plan. No. Plan. None. And I’m the planniest planner I know so this is…probably unwise at 33 w/ no job prospects. Somehow tho, hearing you may be moving there makes me think that of course it’s a good decision and I should just take a deep breath and vape another bag.
OF COURSE IT’S A GOOD DECISION! Listen, so many years ago, people like you and me left everything behind to pan for gold in the Wild West. I know about this because I used to play a computer game called Gold Rush. So basically what you’re doing is exactly like that. And I am telling you this as a 33-year-old sitting in suburban Detroit at a table with my fiancé, who has like four job interviews this week. I think a lot of places are hiring! In general though I just think cool things are happening here and Detroit people are good people.

okay, I know that nobody is ever hype to hear about people’s dreams, BUT: mine took place at a music-festival sized version of A-Camp. Clea Duvall and Selma Blair were gal-palling it up, and my girlfriend made out with Sharon Belle (Danny from Carmilla); it was all super adorable.
What if this was real life!

dear riese, i moved to another country far away from mine in 2010 ( & i asked you a lot of questions then, because i was young and insecure and scared). I’m still here, and i still love you and all that you do. I couldn’t be happier about you & abby moving to the midwest. i hope its everything you want & more & more. safe travels!!
dear person, thank you so much! this is so lovely to hear, i hope the things i said to you made you feel better about being young and insecure and scared. i think decisions we make during that particular life stage are not always the easiest but they are always, at least, things we can learn from. i’m glad that it’s worked out for you! we just arrived in the midwest a few days ago and so far everything is going a-ok.

guys I know that misandry is a funny joke or whatver but I am just so mad at patriarchy and asshole men today and I don’t know what to do. and i drank a bunch of margaritas and smoked tobacco for the first time in over a year and I just need intersectional femininism to win for fucking once. anyway I just want to say thanks for being my queer intersectional feminist inspiration and for giving me something to put faith in. i have hope for a better future.
You know what, I think that jokes are rooted in truth and sometimes misandry is the aloe to patriarchy’s sunburn. I think we just have to continue to rage against the machine and one day we’ll come out on top, even the bottoms.

I just kissed a girl for the first time in my life tonight. Well, she kissed me, but OMG! PINCH ME!!
WHAT IF INSTEAD OF PINCHING YOU I GAVE YOU A HEARTY PAT ON THE BACK AND WAS LIKE “HEY PAL, WAY TO LAND YOURSELF SOME LIP ACTION”

A lot of feminist website are using ‘folx’ instead of ‘folks’ or ‘people’…. i tried googling, but it gives me software instead. Does anyone know what this means?
ANSWER

This is for Heather Hogan, on the off-chance that she hasn’t seen Hermione Granger and the Goddamn Patriarchy.

Heather says: “Harry was alive the whole time. So much privilege, that boy; even death gave him a pass.” Truly, TRULY this is the greatest thing my eyes have ever beheld. Thank you, dear dear reader. #YesAllWitches

this ONE article of clothing is everything I need to survive EVERYTHING. MUST GET. NEEDED TO SHARE. 
Well you know what I think they’re gonna reach their goal, those guys.

I have to spend 30k to gut,seal, and rebuild my basement bc there is super dangerous mold down there from a flood that happened 2 yrs ago that wasn’t disclosed (a sewer flood at that I KNOW) and we have been living in the middle of said toxic mold for a year and our realtor, sellers, and inspectors totally defrauded us and hahahahahahahaha tell me a joke is it my life THOUGHT SO. just needed to put this here? thanks for listening
Laneia says: Oh wow this sounds so awful!! The condo we’re currently living in has been such a fucking nightmare — not a $30k nightmare, mind you; more like $10k — with plumbing issues fucking ABOUNDING. Like I didn’t even know some of these things could happen, yet they have. We were very seriously considering having a priest come bless the house, but I don’t like priests, so instead we did a couple of hours’ worth of smoke cleansing and crying and I had a bottle of wine. This seems like a good plan for you, especially the bottle of wine. There are figs at Trader Joe’s right now also, if you’re a fig person. I just bought a box today after waiting in line for over an hour at a financial aid office only to be told that I’d brought the wrong tax documents. What I’m saying is, we deserve figs, you and I. Then I think you should call a lawyer.

I just found out I get to be a staff member at a camp for Queer/Questioning/Allied kiddos and i’m so ridiculously stoked!!! i grew up going to camp and when i was old enough to be a counselor i ended up working as program staff because my genderqueerness was too awkward to navigate in boys/girls cabin groups. This camp has cabins for ‘gender liberated’ kids. How rad is that??!! Okay. thanks for letting me share my ridiculous enthusiasm and excitement. :) Hope everyone is having a fucking swell week.
That is VERY RAD! I hope one day my daughter Erma Jean and my son Ira Victor want to go to a camp like that. I am very happy for you and I think you and the children will have a fantastic time. Is it weird that they’re called “gender liberated” though? Like as if there is something about being male or female that is inherently not-liberated? What’s happening with that? I’m overthinking it, aren’t I.

hello I just submitted my survey thingie but I’m a little bit intoxicated so I kind of rambled a little in some of the elaboration boxes. I’m sorry, I hope it doesn’t interfere with your data collection processes! All of the information is accurate I just probably included a lot of nonsense as well? sorrrry
No I think it’s important for science that some of the survey responses are drunk.

you GUYS I just drew some breakfast food on the back of a postcard and I’m not sure who to send it to so I’m going to send it to you
Thank you, breakfast is my favorite meal!

Just stumbled across this. I wish I could say anything more meaningful, but just look at those arms! Uh, and the happy and gorgeous couple of course. Ahem.#stillnotovertheworldcup
Maybe she could lift something for me.

I wanna plan a murder mystery party and like ACAMP MOUNTAIN MURDER MYSTERY PARTY THIS WOULD BE FAB
Ugh you have no idea how much we want to do something like this!

Since you’ve signed Heather Hogan can we please get Dorothy Snarker too?
We need more $$$$$$$$$

I said in the A+ survey that I wanted more Crystal/Australian and boom there she was with a Life Ed van joke! Thanks for knowing what I want before I even tell you, you lovely butterflies
This happened because of MAGIC.

Riese do you cook? Will you share a favourite Riese-creation with us?
You know, I used to think that I cooked, like I used to think “I can cook” because I made dinner for myself every night and I cooked for my female friends who couldn’t cook (read: all of them) and I cooked for my boyfriends when I dated boys, like I made dinner every night. Then I became a lesbian and found out that I couldn’t cook after all, according to girlfriends who now do the cooking.

WE WON A HUGE THING!!!!!!! WE CAN MARRY EVERYWHERE IN THE USA!! A CAMP WEDDING PART II
WEDDINGS WEDDINGS WEDDINGS

Trackpants or sweatpants?
SWEATPANTS OBVS

MADDIE IS THE BEST
I feel you

FIREBIRDS FOREVER CHANTING ‘WE LOVE MADDIE’
I feel this

~*~*~ENGAYGED~*~*~ Congratulations Riese and Abby!
THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!

If one dumped some maybe-controversial rant-feelings in this box a few minutes ago…it’s not possible to get banned from Autostraddle, is it? D:
It’s possible, like if you are a racist or a TERF or a mansplainer in the comments, but you can’t get banned for something you put in the A+ box. Like, we can handle it. Whatever you have, we can take it. It’s when you fuck with each other in the comments or say things in public (aka, int the comments) that fuck with each other or with us that shit gets REAL you know what I mean?

oh my god y’all i just drunk texted the number one worst person I could possibly have drunk texted and I used a metaphor about fucking AIRPLANES what the hell is wrong with me help
I think there’s nothing wrong with being passionate about whiskey and wings.

I told the girl I have a crush on to check out AS and she’s hooked! Whether or not we become gal pals I am v. much okay with being her introduction to this beautiful place.
Bless you!

THIS JUST HAPPENED. Erika Moen illustrated The Time Hump Chronicles. Scroll to the end of the page. YOU’RE WELCOME. 
And you! Bless you too!

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Maybe this isn’t really a priority but I feel a pressing need to tell you all how much I love this site, the quality or the writing, and how much work and love you put into it. (Also, I am drinking Iron Horse Brewery’s Quilter’s Irish Death and it’s very tasty. That’s a hot tip and true priority.)

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Have You Written About This / I Need Information

Do you know of anyone who has gone through unemployment and would be willing to write about it, because it’s kind of a struggle, and I don’t know anyone who is in the same boat.
I’m sorry that you don’t know anybody else going through unemployment right now! I can’t think of anybody I know who’s never struggled with a period of unemployment, so trust me that you’re not alone. We’ve written a few things on this topic, including:

• Kip’s Five Steps To Dealing With Unemployment
• Oh My God We Are All Unemployed: How Twentysomethings Live Now
• You Need Help: Your Girlfriend Is Permanently Unemployed, Maybe (the comments will be more helpful than the post itself, I think)
• Sunday Top Ten: Jobs I Didn’t Get Before I Invented This One
• You Need Help: You’re Not A Loser, Baby
• You Need Help: Employment Edition
• Autostraddle Storytime Roundtable: I Quit! You’re Fired! I’m Taking the Goldfish!

If you have a more specific question that we could answer, let me know! Seriously, all of us have been unemployed (we built this city on unemployment, in fact) at some point so I’m sure somebody here could answer what ails you. I also think there’ll be a question on this topic in our next A+ podcast!

HELLO! Did you know about Tangerine? Maybe you already reported on it? It looks so amazing and (hopefully) positive and I’m so pumped to see a film about sex workers that doesn’t depict them as victims and ahhh I am pumped to see it! What are your thoughts?? 
We did know about Tangerine! We wrote about it, even.

Doing a big girls trip out to Portland, and I’ve been using the Queer Girl City Guide to help plan the trip! But…the guide was posted in 2012 – I’m sure things have changed a bit since then. Can someone point us in the right direction as far as the best dance parties go? We are so excited about the number of options Portland has, we don’t know where to start! Thanks!
Our esteemed Portlandian Alley Hector has some tips for you:

• Hotflash/Inferno dances: formerly for over 35 but now for anyone that wants to party SAturdays from 6-10pm.
• Lez Do It: Brand new First Thursdays
• Chunky Dunk: Summer only so this might be the last one of the season.
• Mrs/Queen: Really big long running one 2nd Saturdays
• Gaycation: Even bigger, longer running one, 3rd Saturdays
• NecroNancy: queer goth night, 2nd Fridays
• Riot Grrl Karaoke: not necessarily recurring but has happened once or twice before.
• Twerk: queer hip hop dance party, new venue. I think 4th Fridays.
• Judy on Duty: loosely 90s themed, 4th Saturdays?
• (Destiny at) Dynasty: I can’t quite tell if Destiny is still happening first Saturdays and/or off and on but new club Dynasty in North Portland (Vegan hipster bar) has more and more queer nights lately.
• Euphoria nightclub: Formerly a general club that hosted a lot of queer nights now (brand newly) rebranded as a 7 day a week queer club
• Portland Puts Out: your daily dose of portland magic
• Local Lounge is a gay bar/mostly gay bar that events often happen at, although many previously local lounge parties are now at Dynasty (listed above) I think mostly because the space is larger.
• Sappho digs deep at Moloko: anything Sappho is DJing at is likely queer. She does (oddly) a lot of after hours parties AND day parties (so maybe her day parties are after _after_ parties?), anything this one is quasi-recurring, I don’t think on a schedule.
• Temporary Lesbian Bar: Definitely recurring mostly Fridays (last?) but I’ve seen it on Thursday in the past.
• Lez Stand Up: Recurring lesbian comedy night. Always on a Thursday but not sure if it’s every month.
• Legendary Mondays: every Monday at Swift
• Shades: QTPOC happy hour
• Queer Music Festival
• TBA Festival: For contemporary Time Based Art isn’t necessarily queer but so much of it is.
• Queer Country Junction
• SugarTown Queer Soul party, first Saturdays

Good morning! I don’t mean to bother you all, I just wanted to let you know that I finished The Argonauts and if you do a book club post I promise to comment and join in the discussion. I have so many thoughts and feelings!
I bet you were very excited to read this post about The Argonauts! I was, because I read it and I enjoyed the everloving fuck out of it.

Hello, Please could we have a regular featurette called Everyday Misandry where the team+community have idle chatter about little man-erasing ideas that would make their day a little brighter. e.g. like this instant message from my partnerwifefriend: “I wish there was some kind of chome extension to completely block out American films with a strong (and straight) male lead from my life. Imagine a netflix world where man films don’t exist!” Imagine indeed… Love, Sally
Oh Sally you are really gonna love THIGHS when THIGHS finally happens. I can’t tell you anything else besides that but I can tell you that one day THIGHS will happen on A+ and it will be everything you ever hoped of or dreamed for, sans Tonya Harding.

Where have the Orphan Black recaps gone? We can’t understand the show without help!!!!
This is me, Heather, a recapper of things. This is the same as the answers for recaps about The Fosters. There is so much good stuff on TV for queer women right now and recaps take so so long and I was doing a really shitty job when I tried to recap everything, so I dialed it back and decided to recap only a very small handful of things and put everything else in Boob(s On Your) Tube. We did a cool roundtable at the end of the season; you should check it out!

Is Carmen going to write things about Hillary Clinton? Because I really struggle with a lot of Hillary-related stuff but I have a ton of respect for Carmen and it would be interesting to understand her perspective. I figure y’all probably have this in the works and planned for a little closer to election time, but just in case, I wanted to say that this is something I’d very much like to read, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Thankyouuuuu! Also I really need to stop drunk shopping in the merch store.
1) never stop drunk shopping in the merch store. this one time in college i got really high and bought two denim mini-skirts from Abercrombie on eBay and the moral of the story is that every time I wore the skirt, I got laid. So.

and

2) I feel the same as you re: struggling with a lot of Hillary-related stuff but also having a ton of respect for Carmen and really wanting to understand her perspective. Thank you for letting us know you feel the same way, we will keep that in mind plowing forward with election coverage!

OH MY GOSH! The Bisexual open thread today! So important, so beautiful to see people having such heartfelt conversations in a place that’s so needed. I don’t know if it’s possible, but I’d love to see a similar open thread for poly and non-monogamous people. I’d love to have that space opened up and be seen and see each other. It’s especially important to me because I have a queer-lady and queer-human community that mirrors Autostraddle, and I’ve found meetup groups for poly folks in my town – but the overlap between those worlds tends to feel lacking. Any content you guys can add to help foster discussions in the non-monogamous community will be so so so appreciated. :)
Hello! I agree, that could be neat-o! Maybe Carolyn could put something together! In the meantime, check out:

• Five Lessons From Poly Relationships That Everyone Can Benefit From
• What Do You Mean You’re Not Monogamous?
• Why We Have an Open Relationship: A Dialogue on Queer Polyamory for Lesbians
• Here’s The Salacious Sex Statistics On Queer Women In Non-monogamous vs. Monogamous Relationships

when is carmilla going to get some autostraddle love? it is so so good and so queer!
Carmilla has gotten some Autostraddle love in the past (as well as a Fan Fic Friday and appearing in many early issues of the A+ Bee) and thanks to you, it’ll be included in future Boobs Tubes.

if there is any possible way you can score an interview with any and all out US womens national soccer team players that would be amazing!
yeah you know this wouldn’t be half bad. But also do you remember when Lori Lindsey came out in an Autostraddle interview?

I would love to read more content on lipstick! :) Have a great day
You’re in luck because this whole Lipstick Lesbian series is coming your way any minute now.

Not sure this is a ‘hot tip’, but I would love to see more coverage of visual arts/queer visual artists on Autostraddle
You know what we have done so much on that in the past and it rarely gets much traffic or commentary unless it’s photography! But we’ll keep it in mind! Here are some of the many things we’ve already done:

• Art Attack: this was an entire themed month about queer artists, and we wrote 35 articles about queer visual artists including a lot of artist spotlights.
• Art Attack Gallery: 100 Queer Women Artists In Your Face
• Gran Fury Wants to Know When Was the Last Time You Cried, by Rachel
• Simone Meltesen and the Alternative Girlhood Narrative, by Laneia
• Ivana Is a Self-Taught Force of Nature and Tattoos, by Crystal
• The Malaya Project and Liberating Images of Queer Filipino America, by Whitney
• All the Cunning Stunts Queer It Up At Street Level, by Effing Dykes
• Artist Spotlight: Ria Brodell’s “Butch Heroes”, by Cara
• Drinks, Debauchery, and Oh Yeah, Art: A Queer Goes To Art Basel, by Najva Sol

Can we please have an open thread for lesbians who are feeling erased by queer culture? I understand that this is an unpopular opinion, but it IS happening, and there are sooo many things we aren’t allowed to say and feelings we aren’t allowed to express anymore without getting shut down.
Hey, so! I think the official thing I’m supposed to do here is be like WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WHY DO YOU HATE BISEXUALS, but I think that’s unfair, especially when your feelings are super-valid. I also think it’s a bullshit instinct that we’re only permitted to declare one sexual orientation The Hardest Thing To Be or The Most Erased at any given time — the unique struggles of lesbians shouldn’t take away from or be in competition with the unique struggles of non-monosexuals, or vice versa. Making a value judgment about one group shouldn’t automatically imply converse judgments about other groups. Being exclusively interested in other women in a culture that hates women will never not be a difficult way to exist in this world.

But how do we talk about these issues in a way that isn’t just in-fighting? We think about this when talking about non-monosexuals too: how do we get past “lesbians are mean to me” into a more productive and empowering conversation for non-monosexuals? How do we get past “my bisexual ex-girlfriend left me and now she’s dating a man” and have a more productive and empowering conversation for lesbians? How do we move away from Oppression Olympics into a nice, long and peaceful game of mini-golf? I think a main way we do this is by making the spaces closed, like they did with the bi-with-a-boyfriend thread last month: similar people discussing similar problems, rather than similar people trying to be louder or inspire understanding or sympathy from dissimilar people. I believe, perhaps naively, that if we can find strength and community just from talking to others within our specific niche group (be that age, race, or sexual orientation) that empowers us all to be better to each other when we’re all in the same space… and more confident about the validity of our own feelings.

This is particularly tricky online, because people are coming from so many different places (in all the definitions of the word “place”) with so many different anecdotal experiences that it’s nearly impossible to state any definitive fact about who is meaner / more exclusionary / more oppressive to who in what context. Like we can have comfortable conversations about how we are annoyed by cis men in spaces intended for queer women in mixed-orientation groups of women in real life, but somehow that same conversation online turns into a battle between bisexual women and lesbians even though neither of those groups are the cis men we are supposed to be talking about.

So I think what we’d need to do this would be a pitch that managed to address this issue that many lesbians are struggling with without pointing fingers or commenting on how entitled (or not) other LGBTQ are to their spaces and problems and without using personal anecdotal evidence to make generalizations. Like you can say “[this] is happening” without saying “because [this entire group] is [being like this].”

So if anybody has a pitch for that, hit me up!

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I want to leave comments on like every single thing in Queer Sultry Summer but I can’t because it’s print! But also I super duper love that it’s print! It’s so good and I love it so much and since I can’t comment in the book I have to comment here. Thank you so much for making this, I hope you sell out and print more and sell out again. Y’all should do a coloring book or a sticker book or something. Or not, I’m sure whatever you do next will be amazing. ps you are all super cute.

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I Need Advice

If you asked an advice question that isn’t included here, that’s ’cause it’ll be in here next time or we’re trying to find somebody to answer it in a You Need Help.

I’m meeting a dating site girl in person and we’ve been talking for a long time and I can tell she really likes me BUT I’m so incredibly anxious that she won’t like me in person. Like, she’s seen a lot of pictures of me, but I’m still worried I’ll be too fat in person for her and she’ll just run the other way or ghost. :/ Anyone been through these feels?
I think everybody feels those feels — including the girl you’re meeting up with! I think statistically it’s way more likely that y’all won’t click in person than it is that you WILL, so keep that in mind, and that there are so many reasons besides the hypothetical possibility that she will not appreciate your hot bod. Just be yourself and see what happens, and if she ends up ghosting, then she sucks, and you move on to somebody else.

Hello! I’m hosting an Autostraddle meetup at the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop on August 9th. Do you have any tips for how I can encourage more readers to attend? Thanks! – Katherine (the.venerable.hart@gmail.com)

Katherine I am so sorry that this question was not answered in a more timely manner, but here’s Carmen:

Carmen says: the number one way to encourage more readers to attend your event related to our website is to post the event on our website! if you go here and submit, your event will go live here within like, two days. if you have any q’s or you have trouble with the form, email me: carmen [at] autostraddle [dot] com!

Y’all this is entirely ridiculous and full of issues for multiple reasons but I am kind of upset that the “stereotypical lesbian footwear” is becoming super popular. Before I was ready to start coming out to family and friends I started incorporating small pieces of clothing/shoes that I thought lesbians wore in to my daily outfits in hopes of being identified by other lesbians – while still flying under the radar of my family and friends. Clothing was also a sort of litmus test for me when I went out- what is she wearing on a scale of 1 to gay? I felt like this would keep me from the entirely embarrassing possibility of hitting on a straight girl. Yay for being a young girl figuring out the world. Of course there are a thousand problems with my logic, and maybe that’s why I’m upset – but holy shit being a lesbian in a small town and thinking that something as simple as shoes can out you to the right (gay) people and hide you to the wrong (straight) made me feel more free and confident. UGHHH! I’m not asking for flannel back, but can we at least have shoes?! I know that birks are super comfortable and practical and heaven to your feet….but shit that one thing…that one stereotypical thing was just so helpful to me. Anyways, I feel better now having vented(no I don’t.) Y’all should explain my feelings better. #lesbianstakebackthebirks Did y’all fall in to the trap of going cliche gay to try to fit in? Because I might still be stuck there. I’m definitely still stuck there. Fuck…life is hard.
I think you explained your own feelings just fine — we want to be seen by people who are like us and it’s hard to figure out how to do that, period. There’s a small political element — lesbians as a group are kinda ridiculed for our footwear choices, but straight people can wear them without similar digs — but it’s mostly, I think, a personal problem. It’s frustrating, it’s annoying, but straight people certainly mean no malice when selecting comfy shoes so you can’t really be mad at them. What you can do, however, is buy a scissoring t-shirt, tank top or sweatshirt. Would be my advice.

What to do with old love letters? And old letters from lovers? I often keep handwritten correspondence, especially if it’s on lovely paper or picturesque postcards or illustrated with margin art, (possible in this day and age where I get little enough that I don’t have much), but am feeling like there should probably be an expiration date of some sort. Pitching them in the recycling bin with last week’s milk carton, though…
I keep everything because I am a lunatic. Also because I’m a writer who writes about my life so it’s nice to have reference materials. I have a tough time throwing things away that other people made, I don’t know. It feels wrong.

ADVICE PLEASE: I’ve been in a committed relationship for 6 years. But our sex drives are incongruent. I have asked for what I need/want and I just end up feeling dissatisfied, and guilty for wanting/needing more. Plus she feels guilty for wanting/needing less. What now? I’m unwilling to leave the relationship for many reasons. I love her very much, she takes very good care of me, and I of her. I’m mulling over asking to go outside of our relationship for what I need. How do I do that? Do I have the right? Please help.

I did the ask yesterday about open relationships. UPDATE: I’m an inpatient asshole so last night I asked my wife for an open relationship. She took it as well as could be expected which is not well at all…we agreed we would see a sex therapist and see if there is anything we can fix/correct. I still need help about boundaries, and how to go about this.

We’ve answered some similar questions in the past, so check these out:

• Moving Beyond “Lesbian Bed Death” And Bridging The Libido Gap
• You Need Help: Let’s Talk About (Having More) Sex
• You Need Help: So Your Girlfriend Never Ever Ever Wants To Have Sex
• How We Survived Lesbian Bed Death

HELP: I met someone at A-Camp and now she’s moving to my city to be with me. How do we make this work??
I think it’d be really funny if it turns out that your girlfriend is the one who asked a question that’ll be answer on this week’s A+ podcast that is basically this question but from the other side!

Y’all I basically told my mom that my person and I are going to get her paperwork together so she can get here and you would think I would at least get a “Congratulations”…but no..I know I can’t do anything about her reaction/unhappiness(?) but it still hurts. But knowing I can say this here give me enough comfort.
HEY YOU, CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING YOUR PERSON’S PAPERWORK TOGETHER SO Y’ALL CAN BE TOGETHER AND BE HAPPY AND FULL OF LOVE AND LIFE AND JOY. Love, your Autostraddle family.

I’m so frustrated. I just spent the better part of an hour trying to explain to my best friend why it isn’t cool to ask a trans* person about their various body parts AND SHE DOESN’T GET IT. And yet she claims to be all open minded and accepting and such an ally and I’m just like…but you are actually potentially offending and hurting people? She actually said “well, Caitlyn Jenner is out here talking about it so it’s an open topic now” and my head exploded. How do I even deal with this??
Caitlyn Jenner is ONE PERSON. Literally one human being. Surely your friend can think of somebody who has something in common with her who is comfortable talking about things that she herself doesn’t want to talk about? She should watch this.

how do I look super queer with long hair? apart from a mullet. no hate on mullets tho.
Alex Vega has long hair that somehow looks super queer, have you noticed this? Here’s some other inspiration:

• 50 Queer Women With Outrageously Good Hair 
• How To Get An Alternative Lifestyle Haircut

Potentially a super personal and invasive question, have any of you ever donated eggs? I’m considering it myself right now, and I feel like a surprising amount of lesbian and bisexual women have considered it.
I considered it once and everything I heard about it was petrifying.

Maybe there’s an article (or a billion) on this already, but I need help. 2 years ago I had my heart broken (or shattered more like it) by my first gal pal. Now the next one has (maybe? kinda? dare I even say it? She told me I’m cute and we chat every day so I kind of get ~more than friend~ vibes, but also I think we’re playing that stupid game where I can’t tell if she’s just being a “nice, cute girl” or wants to scissor with me. We all know this is THE WORST) come along and I’m terrified of getting my heart crushed again. I’m even questioning whether or not I’m attracted to her, I THINK because I’m afraid to let myself go there. I know I have to actually date in order to find the person I want to marry. They don’t just magically fall from the sky. But it also feels really defeating and soul-crushing because pain and heart break are almost inevitable (yeah, not always. But let’s be real). Any advice for this baby dyke?
This is what life is: you love, you get hurt or you hurt somebody, it ends, you try again. Heartbreak is as inevitable as Heartsuccess, you know? Yes, the hurt parts will be awful and they will hurt, but you just have to dive in head first and take it. Even the relationships that break you into pieces help you learn something about yourself. You’re Not Ruined, You’re Just Alive, I swear. (See also: The Best Break-Up Advice You’ll Ever Get)

But where can you /wear/ a misandrist t-shirt and do people generally give you shit for it?
Nobody has ever given me shit for it, but I also radiate intense hostility in general so people tend to avoid me in public anyhow. Furthermore, most people who’d be offended by it don’t know what it means.

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I am having a rough week, and it is so awesome to know you guys are right here and that I can even just write that into this little box and somewhere, someone will read it and and send me some kind of positive vibe. I think this is called family?

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Misc

If I’d invited you to my 30th birthday party, would you come? It is in 2017 in Berlin!
You know I would do my very best. I think Rory lives in Berlin right now, I don’t know if he’s still gonna be there in 2017 but I just wanted you to know.

oooo! that A+ button is lookin’ good!
THANKS PAL! Everybody if you’ve yet to notice, there’s an A+ button now in the top menu bar, for easy access to all A+ content. It’s like the elastic waist of menu design.

Skins Fire: why?
This is Heather and because you are an A+ member which means you really, truly get it when it comes to smashing the patriarchy and bringing hope to the world, I’m going to tell you the real answer to this question. The creators of Skins, Bryan Elsley and Jaime Brittan, were very good at crafting characters and telling one single story about them, but very very bad at growing characters. You’ll see this in all three generations of UK Skins: exemplary first series and then completely WTF second seasons that made absolutely no sense, character-wise. After US Skins tanked, they decided to bring back UK Skins in these little mini-series because they needed the work and so did the actors. They also knew if they brought Naomi and Emily into it they could cash into the abiding affection and nostalgia the queer community had for them, which would translate into ratings and dollars. Instead of hiring one of the show’s proven writers, Bryan gave his daughter, Jess, who had no experience whatsoever writing for TV the opportunity to write the mini-series. Take all of those elements and add in a sickeningly obtuse relationship with their own straight privilege, a lack of compassion or understanding of the queer community unlike ANYTHING I have ever seen in TV creators, and a complete disregard for the audience kept that show afloat for the last four series, and you get Skins Fire. I have never been more disgusted or disappointed in a group of storytellers in my life. Maybe one day I’ll publish the nasty emails they sent me after the backlash started. Probably not, but I might get drunk enough one day!

Heyyyy! I just wanted to remind you how much you rock. Heather, thanks for the help with my comment and the picture code. Not only did you fix it, you e-mailed me and told me what went wrong. What other website has that kind of service? I’ve been around AS for years and I just keep falling more in love with you. (Autostraddle, not Heather specifically although you’re amazing.) So, kudos. Your hair looks great today.
You’re welcome! I would never want to deprive the world of dinosaurs, especially Mey because I’m still trying to make her forgive me for one time insulting Dr. Izzie Stevens.

Just want to say thank you SO much for this open thread and what would it take for there to be a permanent space for this – a FB group, a special space on the site, something? The massive flood of comments makes me think there’s a need for it! Also, you guys are just seriously the very best. You are changing so many lives. So much love to you from Calgary, Canada.
Thank you so much! You should check out the Fencestraddlers group!

why are there more lesbian/bi/not straight girls who are vegetarian/vegan than straight ones? what is the correlation? are we more easily influenced? WHY? i need your professional opinion on this very important matter. (btw i’m finally an a+ member! yay! *insert here infinite compliments on autostraddle’s awesomeness*) (and i hope this is in english beacuse i’m a little bit high)
Hello my high friend! I hope you read back when you joined and found this gem from the first edition of The Autostraddle Insider:

Back in 2012, Maeve interviewed Vegan Visionary Jess Scone, and asked her this question:

Do you feel like a lot of queer women are vegan?

I haven’t done many studies, but I feel like once you open your mind and your heart to one type of revolutionary thinking, you’re able to open your mind and heart to other things as well.

Before I say anything else I should mention that I’m not a vegetarian or vegan and I don’t believe either of those lifestyles are “better” than eating meat. But I think in general queer women tend to be more politically active and socially conscious — which I think has more to do with the fact that we are all women and very connected with other women than it does the fact that we are all queer, because you don’t see the same numbers with gay men. As I wrote in my piece about the Pride Whopper (which argued for more conscious meat-eating behaviors, not necessarily giving up meat altogether), “what can distinguish queer politics from mainstream politics is that our “outsider” status should enable us to more readily question dominant culture and advocate for disenfranchised and mistreated humans (and animals).”

I commented so much during comment week and I just want to say I AM SO SORRY I haven’t been able to continue that momentum! I started a new shirt at work that means waking up at 4:30 in the morning and i haven’t had the energy to do much. I am so sorry! I will try to be better for you. You deserve better from me
Hey now don’t be sad don’t look down on yourself the fact that you care enough to tell us this is all the love we need!

I keep wanting to refer to autostraddle writers as friends when I talk to non-straddlers, but that’s just aspirational. I don’t know you, but I wish I did. Thought you should know…
Oh it’s okay you can do that I think it’s cute!

What to you think of ED, Ellen’s new clothing line??
Okay, first of all, my first thought is, obviously, EATING DISORDER. I’m not entirely sure I can ever move past that initial reaction to the letters ED, but I’m gonna try. Okay I just looked at the t-shirts and I think if you like goats and the color indigo, this would be a nice clothing line for you. The little animal pins look cute too!

oh heyyyyyyyy whatever happened to the motherhood roundtable y’all were going to publish a while ago?! im just saying i would love to read it
We haven’t written it yet! I think we have a problem where we say we can do things that we don’t actually have time to do.

Heather, you mentioned amazing soup dumplings in Queens (at least I think it was Queens). I’m in nyc right now and I need to know where these amazing dumplings are PLEASE!!! Thank you thank you.
Heather says: I think we communicated about this already, but Joe’s Shanghai if you want to stay in Manhattan and Nan Xiang Dumpling House if you want to make the trip Flushing. Mmmm boiii.

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So the week of constantly commenting in an attempt to win a prize has basically ended (there’s maybe one more day?), and I have to say, I’ve come out of it not really caring about the prizes at all. I decided that I was going to read and comment on every single post on Autostraddle as a part of my attempt to win, and I enjoyed it SO MUCH. I read things I never would have read before based on the title, I read some AMAZING comments, and I thought a lot about some of the comments I made. The best part was seeing everyone’s responses to my comments and all the thumbs-up I got– it made me feel so good about myself and like I really belong to this community. So anyway, I know this was probably the point of the “Tell Us Everything” Sweepstakes, so I thought I’d let you know it worked, I feel so loved and heard and included and I can’t wait to keep Straddling with my newfound love for reading things outside what I find eye-catching and commenting and feeling the love. THANK YOU.

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Story Ideas:

Hello fine feathered friends. Because we’re all a family here, I’ve decided to move some of the A+ priority box suggestions into a new sort of box right here in this post — these are story ideas y’all had that I liked and would be pleased if any of our writers volunteered to write them. ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION, TEAM?

+ Articles about compulsory heterosexuality and just…how much it fucks you up? I’m feeling really weighed down with the world’s assumptions of me and my sexuality and my past relationships rn.

+ Just watched ‘What Happened, Miss Simone?’ on netflix; documentary of musician and activist Nina Simone and wish there was an AS article about it.

+ I would love to see some more content about roller derby on autostraddle

[FYI, here’s what we already have:

• In The Sydney Roller Derby League, Even ‘Girly Girls’ Hit Hard
• Ms. Dr. Joseph Digs Derby and Dragonflies
• “In The Turn”
• Staddler on the Street: Amanda
• Straddler on the Street: Emily

+ I need advice about finding ways to volunteer, and make a real difference for LGBTQ causes as a person who has extra time on their hands but not extra money.

+ A sort of sister column or expansion of the queer women entrepreneurs column, in which queer women who do not own their own business but who have unusual/obscure jobs talk about their jobs? I love reading the entrepreneur column, but I feel this addition would be valuable for a wider audience, since not all Autostraddle readers want to run their own businesses but most of us have jobs or are looking for jobs or will someday be looking for jobs and/or are trying to figure out what to do with our lives and are already aware of the well-known options like doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer, accountant, nurse, etc. Basically I want to read about all the jobs I didn’t even know were jobs!

(sidenote I would really love this!)

+ A playlist along the lines of “subtly and inoffensively queer songs to play on a roadtrip with the girl you’ve been hooking up with and her conservative brother who is about to find out that his sister has been gal pal-ing and might not take it well”?

+ I would really like to see some AS pieces on queer youth and homelessness and the foster care system from people who were affected as kids, or maybe adults who have worked in shelters/been foster parents/etc.

+ Kaelyn’s credit card article was really really good, excellent advice. On the comments someone suggested a personal finance for beginners column or something and I think that is a great idea.

+ Overcoming internalized homophobia as a queer woman

+ Bisexual women together with (other) bisexual women. It is often the assumption that bisexual women are women who are together with men, but there is another side to this bisexual invisibility.

+ Living with chronic illness, especially related to work and money. The intersectionality of queerness and chronic illness within these topics. 

+ Would love to read more stories on living with chronic illness! 

+ More Bondage 101 articles! I just saw the foot binding one and would love more!

+ Can there be an article about how to deal with and shut down lesbian fetishists (and their girlfriends) on dating sites and in real life? My friends and I need it. 

+ To quote Cameron from a reply in the discussion thread from their most recent cartoon:

“Closet logic”.

It would be amazing to have an accompanying article/open discussion about this. All the hundreds of things we did and didn’t do to hide our true selves from the world (and sometimes ourselves) in our day-today lives. This stuff is fascinating, tragic and at the same time comforting to recognize within a group. And that for so many of us it appeared to happen at a sub-conscious level, before we were even aware of our queerness. Maybe it would promote an important discussion about memories and experiences about how we move in society when closeted, even to ourselves.

+ Someone else I would love to see profiled/interviewed on AS: Rev. Megan Rohrer, the first openly trans person ordained in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Queer, lesbian, and feminist. Does amazing work with the homeless in San Francisco. Helped crowdsource the funds to help Megan Taylor post bond in Iowa.

+ I would like to process “Girls likes girls” with you guys!! I cried but I’m on my period so

+ I got this idea recently that it’d be really cool to see an piece on Autostraddle that discusses queer identity as a single person. I know not everyone has that problem, but it’s something I’ve struggled with over the years. I always have felt “safe” and less affiliated with the community as a single person (kind of like the closet but I think it’s a bit different). When I’ve had relationships with queer women though, I suddenly feel exposed, vulnerable and like I have been being untrue to myself by being single? It’s a weird mental process that comes from being shamed for my sexuality for many years and I’ve come a long way.
I guess what I’m asking is “What does it mean to be queer without a partner/romantic/sexual exploits?” That sounds like a stupid question but it’s something I haven’t really been able to wrap my head around. I feel like SOMEONE else on this site must feel the same way.

+ Hi There, Could you guys do a post on poly people, and having friends and other respect our relationships and relationship choices? I recently lost a friend who said, and I quote, that the poly community is full of “ideological bullshit” and that we want to be more “alternative” than we are, and really all it is about, at the end of the day, just desiring sex with multiple people, and that we aren’t being honest by not admitting that. I think such a thread would be great for making poly friends and finding people who accept us and our relationship choices. I’m not sure if anyone on the staff is poly or knows a lot about the poly community, but I’d love to see a post like this. Thanks!

+ I think “Songs to Drink Whiskey To” would make an excellent playlist.

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I just wanted to tell you that I was making my budget recently (like a good adult) and I put my monthly A+ subscription in the non-negotiable section, because AS means the world to me. Thank you for everything you guys do!

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The Best A+ Box Question Of The Month

This one is a two-parter, y’all!

Entry 1:

I am drunk on a bus do y’all know how I can get home? I was meeting straddlers but then I had to leave and I think my bus is going the wrong way goodness gracious!

Entry 2:

hi i sent what I’m sure was an overdramatic message from the bus a little while ago, just wanted to let y’all know I got home safe! love you byeee