Questions from the A+ Inbox were taking up such an enormous portion of the A+ Insider that we started dedicating an entire post to them instead! This A+ feature is now bi-monthly and advice questions go into our twice monthly Into the A+ Advice Box. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Hi! I just wanted to let you know that a week or so ago, after many years of reading the site daily, AS articles started showing up in my Google News “recommended for you” section. So… looks like some of the SEO-type effort is paying off, maybe?

Riese: I’ve heard that a lot!! AND I LOVE IT!!! I think it’s a new feature they added, Google Discover, since I still actually have no idea how to properly set up our site for Google News so it’s sitting as a draft in that area of Google Search Console until somebody comes through the door who knows what the fuck to do!!

Is there a helpful way for readers to respond to trolls on the site? Not responding? Highlighting it somehow for removal? Challenging? Ignoring it but posting new positive comments?

Is there anything we can do that makes the lives of the editors and writers a little easier when these things happen? Or are there things we try that add to the headache instead and should stop doing?

Laneia: When possible, replying to the offending comment with “moderators please remove” is a good way to both flag us and also be in solidarity with both the writer and the other readers who’ll see the comment before we can get to it and will likely have the same reaction that you have. If people take the time to challenge/educate — I mean if they put that energy into replying to the comment, which we view as work — we’ll remove the language of the comment and replace it with a notice of policy violation, leaving those replies intact because it feels fucked up to simply erase people’s work that way. But! If no one’s replied, or if the replies are just flags, we can delete the comment wholesale (thereby removing all replies to it).

Nicole: Some heroes don’t wear capes, they send messages about comments you spot (especially on articles that have been up for a few days) to the A+ box. I usually see this first thing in the morning and can take care of it. THANK YOU to everyone who does this! My hope is that we can have a more robust comment moderation solution in the future but we appreciate your help and understanding in the meantime.

Apologies if this is a painfully dumb question, but these new ads I’m seeing on AS (like now I get a *very* unobtrusive and small Zenni Optical banner at the bottom of my screen), does it “hurt” AS’s revenue if I click the X in the corner of the ad and close it? I just want to know Bc I have been closing the ads, but today I was like “wait what if when I close it then it means AS doesn’t make money ??”

Plz let me know bc the ads I’ve seen so far are totally manageable and not a bother and I don’t mind leaving them open if it means more dollars for you!

Also I super appreciate all the explanation in the last “Some Answers to Some Things…” about the thought you’ve put into what kind of ads you have on the site. I understand it’s a need for you to make money, and it sounds like you’ve put in a lot of intention into what can be advertised, the size of the ad, etc.

Sarah: This is not a dumb question! We would still get the impression on the ad, which counts!

Nicole: Also, you will notice that this experiment has come to an end and the ads are no more!

so I’ve been ~loving~ this season of To L and Back – somehow the worse the original gets the better the podcast becomes; y’all are restoring balance to the universe – and i am particularly on board with carly’s wanting to make the “schechter seven” a thing – if you put that on a t-shirt, i would buy the shit out of that.

also and relatedly, my scissoring sweatshirt is possibly my favorite clothing item and i would love to see more tees and sweatshirts in the merch store. especially with extended sizing that goes down as well as up – i’m a wee thing and, much as i love that sweatshirt, it also goes like halfway down my thighs – but honestly if it’s cute and queer i’ll buy it even if it’s a tent on me.

anyway, thank you for all that you do, you wonderful, amazing, beautiful autostraddle team members, you!

Riese: THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND OF THE POD and NOTED about the t-shirt. Thank you for crediting us with restoring balance to the universe, it is a higher calling and I feel blessed to be able to do this work.

Laneia: 🥺

Sarah: It’s possibly your favorite clothing item? YAY! I hear you on those extended sizes, that’s absolutely something we can do moving forward. Thank you for your feedback!

Would you ever consider creating a fundraiser or A plus tier which included a book of the month subscription type thing? Y’all post so many great reviews of queer authors that I bookmark to buy later. I for one would pay annually to have curated queer books/zines/etc delivered to my address.

Nicole: I looked into something Riese sent me about a book club, which seems like a cool thing, and while it’s absolutely not possible for me to send out books by hand to everyone every month, if there was some kind of a book club fulfillment service…it wouldn’t be impossible! We’d probably want someone to lead the discussions, too! If anyone invents this book club fulfillment service, please inform us immediately, is what I am saying.

Riese: Yes I’ve wanted to do this for years we just don’t have anyone / any method who has the ability to facilitate it! i think it’s one of those “at a different company, this would be somebody’s entire job” things. For now the closest we’ve come is the books we send out to Platinum members.

Laneia: YIKES I LOVE THIS IDEA.

What are the best charities/PACs/etc. to give money to right now for the fight against anti-voter bills? Any Charity Navigator or personal favorites for anti-racist and pro-queer charities/PACs/etc.? <3

Carmen: I don’t just yet! But I put out a request to Natalie, whom I believe might!

An Update! From Natalie! “The ACLU, League of Women Voters, FairVote, Fair Fight (Stacey Abrams’ org)”

I would love to see more content that’s centered on relationships other than sexual and romantic, ace content, and content for folks who may not identify as ace but don’t want to seek out sexual relationships anymore or feel scared of it even though they used to have it and enjoy it. The ace community has so many great resources, that go beyond basics/consent/101, and I’d love to see more of it!

Also love that you’re bringing back fashion content.

Rachel: Definitely, agree with you on both counts! I’d love to run more content centered on it and also be able to incorporate some ace perspectives in broad sex & dating content.

Carmen: Big same!!

Hi i just submitted a dating question since you guys said you were looking for those. But let me know when you’re looking for sex questions. got a lot of those about queer porn and I’m a newb and I’m lost lol thanks

Nicole:: You are always welcome to submit advice questions on any advice topic, including sex, to the A+ box!

Riese: Austen wrote this great piece in 2013 that might be outdated but also might not be, and you might find other tips in this tag.

How have you not interviewed Francesca Ekwuyasi for Butter Honey Pig Bread yet??? It was long-listed for the Giller Prize and shortlisted for Canada Reads, Lambda Literary, and the Governor General’s award! Not sure what made me drool more, the hot queer sex or the delightful Nigerian cuisine. And she and I and many other straddlers because friends at an AS real in-person meet-up in 2013!

Rachel: Excellent q! The reality is we don’t have the bandwidth generally to reach out to every author we want to feature (I wish we did!) In general the books features we end up publishing are the ones that come directly to our doorstep in the form of pitches, and/or standing regular scheduled pieces like book previews each season – HOWEVER I truly wish this was pitched to us so I could take it! Do you want to interview Francesca Ekwuyasi? I would love that, genuinely, I’ll be your editor on it!

Hello! I am a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, and I have recently been watching the series again. Unfortunately, none of my friends watch it so I have no one to talk to about it. I was too young to be a part of the fandom when it first came out, and it seems like there aren’t many spaces on the internet where people talk about it anymore.

Can you suggest places where I could connect with other Buffy fans on the internet?

Heather: Oh, my friend, I am about to knock your socks off — Buffering the Vampire Slayer is what you’re looking for. In addition to that structured modern day Buffy fandom, I’m pretty sure that basically any post you comment on at Autostraddle, if you mention Buffy, you’re gonna find someone who wants to talk about it with you. (And also next time we do an A+ Discord Server! It’s nerd city in there!)

Laneia: I also missed Buffy the first time around (I, on the other hand, was a teen who was Too Cool for That Shit 😞 ) and had SO MUCH FUN watching it on my own little timeline. And then watching it again. And then again. All of which is just to say: you really have found your people here.

Nicole: I have re-watched Buffy more times than any other series!

Future quiz (like the lesbian pulp novel covers)?

Laneia: OOOOooooohhhhhhhh !!

Riese: Oh wow this seems like a job for me or Sally

hello there, if you’re looking for a sign that today is a day to take off, here is a sign for you to take a day off!

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

Just in case you hadn’t heard, Daisy Eagan is doing a podcast called “Strange and Unexplained with Daisy Eagan”. It’s great so far – ghosts haunting Broadway theatres, the Bermuda Triangle, Amelia Earhart, elevators.

Rachel: Oh my gosh wow I actually still have a lot of unanswered questions about the Bermuda Triangle so this is perfect

Laneia: Just really loving the straightforwardness of this podcast title.

An awesome house of extremely kind queer folx in Chicago have started a sweet little furniture flipping business and I wanted to share it with you all! 10% of their proceeds go to Chicago Community Jail Support and they might have some ideas about upcycling furniture hacks with a classy queer aesthetic that I believe the Autostraddle audience would be very into.

Also, this group of 4 fine humans (one of them happens to be my best friend) put up with a 45 slide google presentation I made for them called, “I love the WNBA and so can you.” I think I successfully got them hyped to spread the good word about the league to other queer millennials, and so I want to share their project to a broader audience as well!

Heather: Hey, uh, where can I see/share that WNBA slideshow? This season is already so great, right? I can’t believe I get to watch women’s basketball basically EVERY DAY on TV!

Sarah: Oooh, this Instagram is so cute! I’ll definitely give them a shout out in our stories this week!

Just wanted to give a heads up that we have a new Top Chef Canada competitor who’s Asian and openly nonbinary: Kym Nguyen of Vancouver, sous-chef at Pidgin Restaurant. They’re fucking fierce and I know they’re gonna win! Just want to spread the word for all the cuties & foodies here ;)

Heather: Great tip, thank you! We’ve got another queer contestant on US Top Chef this season too! Doesn’t it make watching so much more fun?

Laneia: Wow how does it feel to be out here doing the lord’s work? Thank you!

Sarah: THIS IS SO EXCITING. I’ve been doing a Top Chef binge with my girlfriend and we’re running out of seasons that aren’t full of problematic and weird commentary (see: the older seasons). SO, why not move on to TOP CHEF CANADA???? Thanks for this extremely hot tip.

Riese: My friend does PR for Top Chef and we have been getting UP TO THE MINUTE updates so this is basically all I know about Top Chef at this point

Hello TV team! Do you have any intel on the new Tim Burton Addams Family live action TV show? The Addams Family is my happy place and I am so torn between excitement and worry. I love Wednesday – will she go fall in love with boys, turn into a typical angsty tv adolescent with a fraught family relationship? The best thing about them is how they all love each other and stick together in their own weird way. There has to be some queer content right? It’s the Addams Family! I know Morticia and Gomez are an opposite sex couple but obviously that’s just because they happened to fall in love with each other. The whole clan is so queer in every sense of the word. The initial TV series was is so charmingly subversive and wholesome for its time! I know the show can never take away the other iterations of the family – but still

Heather: Okay so first of all, I obviously completely agree with you that the Addams Family is queer as everything. I was obsessed with reruns of the original series and the Angelica Houston movie and didn’t know why — I’m sort of the opposite of goth and Halloween still scares me — but as an adult, I was like “Oh, duh, this was queer as heck.” Unfortunately, everything I know about Wednesday so far is only vaguely queer-adjacent. Jenna Ortega isn’t queer, as far as I know, and the closest she’s come to playing queer, I think, was the subtext in that movie The Fallout with Maddie Ziegler‎. Christina Ricci is rumored to be coming back to the series to play Morticia, which is, again, only vaguely queer-adjacent due to her character in Now and Then, which made 40% of the people I know gay, and The Lizzie Borden Chronicles which of course was gay. Tim Burton’s aesthetic is queer, of course, but he doesn’t have any kind of reputation for doing anything overtly queer with his characters. So! I dunno! But, like you, I hope!

As the Glennon Doyle & Abby Wambach Cinematic Universe continues to grow I have an important question.

What proportion of people watching these two are there primarily for Glennon vs. for Abby?

My wife (Team Glennon) asserts 80% Glennon, 20% Abby.

I (Team Abby’s Biceps) agree that this brand is mostly Glennon’s, but would rate it at 60% Glennon, 40% Abby. (And if we limited it only to the queer audience it would be primarily Abby’s.)

Can Autostraddle investigate this question with journalism and/or science??

Heather: Hang on, let me ask Twitter!

An Autostraddle A+ member asked me to do science to find out if people who watch the Glennon Doyle & Abby Wambach Cinematic Universe watch for Glennon (+ pep talks), Abby (+ biceps), or both equally. Please vote below.

— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) May 25, 2021

Nicole: OMG Heather!

I found your awesome post/chart on British Suffragette History (from 2018) after listening to a book talk by Wendy Moore who recently published: “Endell Street: The Women Who Ran Britain’s Trailblazing Military Hospital”

Very early on in the talk the author mentioned that Drs. Garrett Anderson and Murray wore matching diamond rings. I spent much of the rest of the talk searching the internet for more information! I can’t yet find a biography on either Dr that’s not tied into their broader medical work, but hopefully some historian is out there doing that research now!

Carmen: I’m so sorry that I don’t have an answer for this question! But please do know that this story has delighted all of us to no end. And I hope we get your answer soon!

Anyone watching Hacks on HBO Max? The main character is a young queer woman and its very fun and funny and gay all around

Riese: I AM AND I LOVE IT

Heather: I know for sure Shelli Nicole is watching it, and I can’t wait to get caught up on my other shows so I can give it a go.

Laneia: I finished Mare of Eastown and wasn’t ready to relinquish Jean Smart just yet, so I am truly thrilled about this show

Carmen: I started it because Riese recommended it and I love it very much.

Re: new ads – I just got an ad for Smartwool socks so the ad peeps are definitely starting to figure out their target demographic. I LOVE Smartwool, and Autostraddle ❤️

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

“Standing in solidarity with Palestine” means different things to different people. Can you talk about what that means to the Autostraddle leadership team?

Carmen: This is an important question! And honestly, one that we want to take the time to be able to answer fully, well and as an editorial team. Which is also going to take listening and education. I know that sounds probably not like the answer you are looking for at the moment, but when we first started approaching how we’re thinking about Israel and Palestine now (verses previous Autostraddle policy), two things became abundantly clear — First, that we believed that continued “neutral silence” was uncomfortable for all of us. Second — that we have to be willing to learn.

So while we do that, I can speak to how we’re making editorial decisions about Israel and Palestine these days. Every piece that we’ve run thus far, we’ve talked about first in detail — including reading drafts and edits — as a group. This group includes Senior Editors along with Vanessa, our Community Editor. The kinds of things that we’ve discussed as we’ve poured over these drafts include: Is this piece factual? Is this piece recognizing and paying close attention to the difference between being in opposition to the violent occupation of Palestine and anti-Semitism? Is everything within this particular piece something that we stand behind and would feel comfortable defending on our platforms? And so on. What this means is that as we learn, we don’t stay silent just because we aren’t yet perfect allies, and that we continue to take it on a case-by-case basis with what we hope is considerable care.

We also have more pieces that we want to publish! So far we’ve published work from Jewish writers and writers of color who aren’t Jewish or Palestinian. I’m still looking for a queer Palestinian writer who’d be interested in writing for us, but so far everyone I’ve met through networking doesn’t really want to mine their trauma for clicks, which of course is something we unequivocally support and out first. If anyone reading this has someone in mind, please feel free to give them my email.

I’m not sure if anyone on the TV team is still watching Everything’s Gonna Be Okay since Mathilda came out as straight. Here’s my hot tip: Drea came out as ace and homoromantic, and Mathilda seems to be biromantic heterosexual? Anyway, in the most recent episode, they decided to be girlfriends again! I actually really like how this season is exploring how romantic and sexual attraction aren’t the same thing, and I’d love to see it covered more here!

Heather I would love that too! I have solicited pitches but haven’t gotten any takers yet! Do YOU wanna write it? I could walk you through it! Email me: heather at autostraddle dot com

The new British sitcom coming out on Peacock (US)/Channel 4 (UK) next month called We Are Lady Parts is about Muslim women in a punk band, and one of the members, Ayesha, is queer! And, spoiler, she dates a girl during the series.

Riese: Yes I put it in my streaming guide for June!!! I’m excited to watch it. Peacock is doing some exciting stuff.

Sarah: I positively BINGED this show and felt so held by it! Even though none of the people in the show felt like me it was so amazing to see such a wide range of South Asian characters with depth and storylines beyond the typical narratives we play out on film and tv.

Piping hot tip for your vapid fluff team to consider the excellent, gushy, extremely gay content posted by Madison Bailey (madisonbaileybabe), one of the stars of the Netflix teen soap “Outer Banks,” and her college-basketball-playing gf Mariah Linney!! They are so cute and obsessed with each other and post all the time and make my heart soar. that is all! <3

Carmen: AWWWWWWWWWWWW. I’m so happy for them and to fold them into the people we watch out for. Thanks!

I’m sure this isn’t news to yall, but!!! I finally read iconic mlm ya/new adult romance “Red, White, & Royal Blue” by (iconic queer author) Casey McQuiston, and as soon as I finished it I learned she has another queer romance that’s arriving to the world June 1!! “One Last Stop,” a wlw New York ya/new adult time travel romance, which is everything I could possibly ask for. this isn’t a sponsored hot tip, I’m just obsessed with her! and just in case somehow you didn’t already know I thought I should alert u

Rachel: I’ve heard so many good things! Hopeful we can have some coverage of this at some point, and so glad you enjoyed it!

Laneia: Listen I’m not in charge of our literary coverage but I need you to know that I have BOUGHT THIS BOOK solely because two A+ readers are flipping out about it and also THANK YOU.

I love the posts about skincare that have been up recently.

As part of my skincare, I shave my face, and I don’t see that covered in any of your skincare and beauty content.

Any chance you can expand that content to include shaving/otherwise removing/styling facial hair? I’m sure a lot of people in Autostraddle’s audience (including some cis women) would find it relevant!

Carmen: Abso-fucking-lutely. Thank you for this suggestion.

I am LOVING the new Missed Connection series!! So funny and wise and delightful all in one

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Hey, I’ve noticed the occasional popup ad at the bottom of the screen. I wanted to thank you for doing what you need to do to keep this website going and to keep Autostraddle free for most readers. The slight annoyance of these relatively unobtrusive ads is absolutely worth it, in my mind, because I want you all to get paid and I want Autostraddle to stick around. I fully trust that you are making the best decisions possible for the website. Thank you so much <3

Sarah: Thank you for saying so! As we look at ways we can create new or updated revenue streams for our website, it’s helpful to know we have the support of our readers, and especially our A+ members.

Riese: Thank you!! That truly means a lot because I know they were different than previous ads, but like other websites have SO many intrusive ads that this seemed fine in comparison? But ultimately we decided we weren’t making enough money from it and took them down anyhow, although ads like that could appear in the future if we are being paid more to run them. <3

Thanks for the Gay Agenda!! I’m using it for wedding planning.

Heather: Oh! What a great idea! I hope your wedding is such a lovely day filled with so many things that make you and your spouse happy!

Nicole I love everything about this!!!

Laneia: I hope that you reach the end of your planning, it’s almost time for the wedding, everything’s all set and the Gay Agenda is PACKED with your notes and concepts, and then you LOSE IT IN A PARK. But!!! It’s found by a smol gay, so young, who’s like, not totally sure they’re gay enough to come out, or they’re sure but maybe they’re thinking they could just stuff it down for a little while longer. They read the cover of your Gay Agenda and have to sit all the way down in the grass because holy shit, a Gay Agenda. They take it home, read the whole thing while their older sister makes dinner, laughing at your weirdo notes and crying a bit without really knowing why. They see that you’ve left your number on the inside cover, in case you ever lost it in a park because you once read a paragraph on a website that wished that very thing into existence and you rationalized that one can’t be too careful. They wait a full five minutes before texting with a tentative, “hi, i found your notebook in the park beside the splash pad.” They don’t know what comes next (besides dinner), but their life is forever changed after seeing with THEIR OWN EYES that gay people not only get to be gay, get to fully marry their gay person, get to go sit by the splash pad whenever they want apparently, but they also get to buy cool fucking notebooks???

Sarah: Hahaha, this is amazing. A perfect use of the gay agenda!

Just wanna send Carmen an extra big plate of support today!!! Thank you Carmen for editing this publication & making this community’s continuing possible <3

Laneia: YES THANK YOU CARMEN

Sarah: Carmen is literally incredible. I love Carmen!

Nicole: THANK YOU!

Carmen: hahahaha… thanks everyone? (Also though: YOU ARE!! So take those compliments right back to yourselves, friends).

Just wanted to share, my cousin used my new pronouns so easily over the phone this weekend when speaking to another relative and it made me so thrilled and frankly caught me a little off guard. I just wanted to share because I don’t really have any one us to tell.

Thanks autostraddle team! I love the site, thank you for doing what you do!

Laneia: This THRILLS me ! I love how we’re affected by such small acts, or rather, by things that might seem small to the other person but feel enormously important to us. Just how life is mostly a collection of a trillion tiny little things (and like, five huge things) that each drop their own anchor for us. It’s just a lot okay! I’m so happy for you !

Carmen: Agreed!! Just so, so happy for you! I hope you had a lemonade to celebrate.

Nicole: This is fabulous!

Re: new ads – I just got an ad for Smartwool socks so the ad peeps are definitely starting to figure out their target demographic. I LOVE Smartwool, and Autostraddle ❤️

Sarah: YES! I got that ad too! Smartwool saved my life when I backpacked through India. I never did this, but apparently you could switch between two pairs of SmartWool socks for a week and not have to wash them?! 😬 A man at REI told me that, so don’t hold me to it!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!