Sex toys and craft beers have a striking number of things in common. They’re both subject to weird regulatory systems (reductively, for example, sex toys struggle with online marketing and have to be classified as either medical devices or novelties, and craft beer will soon have to comply with nutritional information guidelines). They’re both vaguely associated with witches (since broomsticks were obviously dildos used to vaginally administer herbal remedies, and since many of the symbols associated with witchcraft — cauldron, cat, pointed hat, broomstick again — were also associated with beer). And they both have some really fantastic naming conventions.
Either/or/both: you decide. Post your score in the comments for ten points to a Hogwarts house of your choice. (Obvious giveaways like “dildo” or “IPA” removed in a few cases because duh.)
1. Serendipity
2. Big Boss
3. Jelly King
4. Feeldoe
5. Oxballs Plumber
6. Slow Drive
7. Stronic Eins
8. Duchess
9. Witchshark
10. Monkish Feminist
11. Spur
12. Sexual Chocolate
13. Kandi Kisses
14. Daisy Cutter
15. Tank 7
16. Form 2
17. Horny Devil
18. Outlaw
19. Amorino
20. Skeleton Key
21. Cherry Bombin’ Roadster
22. Gaïa
23. Luxura
24. Lime Teaser
25. Tap It Continuum
26. Tonight Eternity
27. Equinox
28. Black Pearl
29. Ommegang Glimmerglass
30. Wolf Pup
31. Womanizer
32. Joque
33. Bullseye
34. Uinta Tinder
35. Déesse Nocturne
36. First Mate
37. Pee Wee
38. Bad Bunny
39. Iroha
40. Revolution
Answers:
Sex toys: Big Boss, Feeldoe, Oxballs Plumber, Slow Drive, Stronic Eins, Spur, Kandi Kisses, Form 2, Amorino, Cherry Bombin’ Roadster, Lime Teaser, Tonight Eternity, Womanizer, Joque, Bullseye, First Mate, Iroha
Craft beer: Jelly King (Bellwoods Brewery), Witchshark (Bellwoods Brewery), Monkish Feminist (Monkish Brewing), Sexual Chocolate (Foothills Brewing Company), Daisy Cutter (Half Acre Beer Company), Tank 7 (Boulevard Brewing Company), Horny Devil (AleSimth Brewing Company), Skeleton Key (Bellwoods Brewery), Gaïa (Benelux), Luxura (Brouhaha), Tap It Continuum (Tap It Brewing), Equinox (Eagle Rock Brewery), Ommegang Glimmerglass (Brewery Ommegang), Wolf Pup (Golden Road Brewing), Uinta Tinder (Uinta Brewing Company), Déesse Nocturne (Dieu Du Ciel), Pee Wee (Dieu Du Ciel), Bad Bunny (Alameda Brewing), Revolution (Eagle Rock Brewery)
Both: Serendipity (Serendipity Mini Silicone Vibrator; New Glarus), Duchess (Tantus Duchess Ice; Brouwerij Verhaeghe), Outlaw (VixSkin Outlaw; Two Brothers Brewing)
