I used to think rings were these awkward things that got in the way and took up valuable real estate on my hands that could otherwise be used to hold pens or money. But then I discovered that rings are actually just the best-kept-secret way to make you look totally put together and awesome (or married depending on the ring). At first I made some common ring-buying mistakes. I went for valuable or sentimental rings. A ring with a big sapphire or my grandmothers engagement ring. These rings did not have the desired effect. When you try to rock an expensive old engagement ring that belongs to your grandmother, all that happens is that you refuse to wear it because you’re terrified you’ll lose it. If you ever do wear it, approximately 2.34 people per day will ask if you’re engaged. These are the facts.
Fortunately, there’s a magical solution that should have come to me years ago (and probably would if I hadn’t spent so much time avoiding rings like the plague). You’ve got to go badass and cheap with your rings. You’ll only ever wear a cool ring if you don’t need to stress about taking it off to wash your hands in the bathroom and losing it forever. Plus, designers right now are pumping out crazy rings with fun metalwork in ridiculous shapes and sizes. It might seem initially odd to actually go through with wearing a Bowser style spiked shell on your middle finger, but I swear it will make your whole look seem more thought out and put together. Besides, a ring can be a great conversation starter.
Think about it: there are you waiting in coat check at the local gay bar when a hottie comes up behind you. Obviously she can’t help but notice that you’re wearing a cassette tape ring. She asks, “Oh my god, do you love cassette tapes? I love cassette tapes!” and you live happily ever after in outdated technology heaven. Maybe the ring you’re sporting has a giant elk face on it. Next thing you know you’re meeting amazing animal enthusiast ladies and/or hardcore hunter ladies. See how this works? So let’s look at some rings!
Abstract Metallic Rings
Goofy Rings
Animal Rings
I know rings can make you feel really goofy and seem like they get in the way, but trust me on this one. Buy a cheap ring and give it a try at the next girls night and you might just be shocked at how cool you’ll feel. Happy Ringing!
