Feature image of Freya French and Johnny Starlight in Crash Pad Series episode 221. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are courtesy of the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Aviva Romelli and Selphie Labrys in Crash Pad Series episode 216

+ London’s first queer porn festival focuses on engagement, ethics, politics, people who want to fuck each other’s brains out, and non-mainstream sex: “‘A lot of mainstream pornography is about what is sexy, who can be sexy, who can play what role in sex,’ explains the festival’s programmer Rude Juud. ‘We were looking for films that don’t do that, and however they don’t do that is up to them.’”

+ Here is how to accept a compliment.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Ariel Vittori discusses aftercare, the mental care after sex or kink, and notes, “we could say that losing ourselves in sex is something that can happen even with no chain, no roleplaying. So even in vanilla sex, especially in NSA engagements, some form of aftercare might be needed.”

+ “Live Victorian Nudes!”

+ “Attractiveness doesn’t rest on the ability to see beauty, but to detect flaws. The fewer the flaws, the more attractive someone appears to be, says Kristin Donnelly, a doctoral student in experimental psychology at the University of California, San Diego,” writes Alexandra Ossola in an explanation of the science of being really hot.

+ If you want to keep casual sex casual, here’s how: be upfront with each other, set boundaries (with yourself, too), don’t have too much sex together, don’t spend too much time together, don’t become close friends and only hang out when you’re going to have sex.

+ Allegedly, period syncing is just noticing natural variation at the right moment. Found a single study that has never been to A-Camp.

Freya French and Johnny Starlight in Crash Pad Series episode 221

+ Hostage negotiations explain how to win at relationship fight club (spoiler alert it involves paying attention to each other):

“‘Despite the popular notion that listening is a passive behavior, abundant clinical evidence suggests that active listening is an effective way to induce behavioral change in others,’ says Noesner. And when you actively listen to your partner during a quarrel, he adds, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully, and clarify their own scattered thoughts and feelings. They also grow less defensive and oppositional, and more open to solving problems.

As you’re actively listening, put your own swirling thoughts on hold, adds Voss. ‘No one can listen and think about what they want to say at the same time,’ he says. ‘It truly is an either/or. And hearing the other side out is the only way you can quiet the voice in the other person’s mind. A full two-thirds of people in negotiations are more interested in being heard than in making the deal.’ He thinks for a minute. ‘Also, just as an aside, if you let them go first, it gives them the illusion of control.'”

Cinnamon and Cicatriz in Crash Pad Series episode 169

+ “Personally, my appetite increases for the baser of human needs during times of upheaval. Sex and orgasm is known to relieve stress, increase endorphins, and have other positive health outcomes. I also suspect seeking out love and sexual intimacy is appealing because that’s the one thing within my control right now. ‘Sexual healing’ is not just a great Marvin Gaye song — it’s also become a way to cope with a frightening political time,” writes Luna at Fusion, on sex and love in 2017:

“But just as wealthier white women had more access to contraception and abortion before everyone else, Trump’s administration will have more adverse effects on low-income people and people of color. The ‘Trump effect’ on sex is not created equal. Lots of people are feeling panicked and stressed, but many others remain blissfully unaware of how new policies will disrupt people’s lives — and sex lives.

This mismatch has created a new type of sexual currency: Some people are finding their value in how many people they fuck, while the everyday stress of living is devaluing sex for others. Those with more privilege often are more able to enjoy self-actualization, the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, while some are still struggling to receive basic respect. The blatantly prejudiced rhetoric of this administration has increased feelings of isolation for marginalized people, making dating across the lines of privilege and race harder for many.”

Arabelle Raphael and Devorah in Crash Pad Series episode 237

+ “The damaging dual forces at play for teenagers — sex ed that keeps them in the dark about the reality of sex, and media that overstimulates them with an airbrushed appeal of it — leaves them unprepared for the emotional and physical considerations of an intimate and common part of growing up,” writes Larisa Mănescu at the Establishment, on why if public schools won’t teach real sex ed, everyone has to:

“Comprehensive sex education is at the root of important issues like sexual assault prevention and reproductive justice, and yet the nation’s current landscape of inaccurate and insufficient curriculum seems like a desolate place we’ve given up on. […]

In the absence of institutional reform, there’s hope for comprehensive sex education in the form of apps, books, creative short videos, non-profit advocacy, and personal efforts to demystify our changing, growing bodies.

College is too late to learn about the basics of reproductive anatomy and how we should treat each other with respect. Students shouldn’t be stepping onto college campuses without understanding the gravity of consent.

If the Republican-controlled government refuses to provide a social good, let’s fill in the gap with grassroots action and community.

We owe it to younger generations.”

Namira Rot and Rue Griskot in Crash Pad Series episode 205

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