Feature of April Flores and Milcah Halili in Crash Pad episode 234. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are courtesy of the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ Kinkly has a comprehensive guide to impact play (which is where someone hits someone consensually), including safety, what you can use it for, how you can do it, what you can do it with and more. Here’s what Kayla Lords writes about how to spank:
“If you’re new to spanking, start with your hand. Rub your partner’s bottom. This sends a signal to them that you’re about to begin. And, in my experience, a gentle touch reminds your partner that you’re doing this in a willing or even loving way.
Pull back and bring your palm down on their butt. Pick a cheek, any cheek. You don’t want to start out hitting them as hard as you can. One, your hand will get tired more quickly. Two, it may be too much for your partner, and they’ll end things with a safeword sooner than either of you would like. Start slow. Alternate where your hand lands. As their skin begins to turn pink, you might want to pick up speed or intensity.”
+ Ask these questions if you have more privilege than a partner:
“If you’re a person with power and self-certainty, it’s important that you notice when your partner withdraws, when they’re pretending they have no feelings or needs because they may be de-emphasizing their needs in order to create more room for yours.
Your partner shouldn’t have to disrupt racism and sexism alone, even if you don’t think you’re perpetuating either.
Society perpetuates them, and unless you listen to and back up your partner, your partner will be put through pain that will ultimately consume your relationship.”
+ These zodiac signs should absolutely not date.
+ “Tyrannosaurus rex was a sensitive lover, new dinosaur discovery suggests.”
+ Parents are upset that sex education might mention what sex is.
+ Gay BFF is a new app for meeting other gay people but not necessarily having sex with them, allegedly.
+ You should probably talk about money in your relationship. Especially if you want to think through gendered expectations around money.
+ Being sex positive doesn’t mean you’re having lots of sex.
+ It’s hard to date when you have anxiety or depression.
+ Why not keep an elaborate bdsm-themed dollhouse?
+ A recent ruling in a chid custody case in New York legally recognized a polyamorous relationship (but people are still bad at talking about it).
+ Double-ended dildos can really suck. After comprehensive testing, Epiphora (with Aerie) explains why:
“Strapless strap-on dildos must satisfy two finicky humans rather than just one. This makes them even more individualized and difficult to recommend. Questions to ponder: what sort of shape and angle does the wearer want? The receiver? Do you want vibrations? Will you be attempting to use it without a harness (I wish you luck)? Do you have a strong opinion about the finish on your silicone (I prefer glossy, Aerie does not)? The squish factor?
This is a lot of questions, my friends. This is a lot of ways for things to go awry. This is the type of sex toy that could very well end up in the bottom drawer, an optimistic purchase with disappointing results.”
