NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Anything You Want It To Be

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

11 Comments

  3. Tbh though, as someone who both uses non-standard grammar and needs standardised things sometimes, there’s a certain amount of privilege in not needing it, too. If you’re street smart, you can kind of guess what people mean better than if you have language difficulties which need clarifying with clear language. This has had real world consequences for me.

    My rule of thumb is generally: only ask for clarifying if you actually need it and not just to prove that you know more about the language you’re using/the ‘rules’ of the language you’re using than the person that you’re communicating with.

  5. The emotional labor link is one I read earlier this week and couldn’t stop thinking about for days afterwards. It’s a huge fear that I have with my relationships–that eventually, no matter how wonderful the person seems, that at some point they’ll stop caring about the work of maintaining a household and it’ll all fall to me. It scares me a lot. I watched it happen to my grandma and my mom and most of the women in my family. I try to choose partners who I feel try to pull their emotional labor weight, but how do you know whether they will for real until you live with them? How do you trust that your partner will carry that burden? How do you trust that they’ll want to?

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