Welcome to NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday!
+ Lesbians (and gays) have the best sex (duh). Congratulations everyone: we just won at life. According to Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, it’s because same-sex couples go slower:
“The best sex going on in Masters and Johnson’s lab was the sex being had by the committed gay and lesbian couples. Not because they were practicing special secret homosexual sex techniques, but because they ‘took their time.’ They lost themselves — in each other, and in sex. They ‘tended to move slowly…and to linger at… [each] stage of stimulative response, making each step in tension increment something to be appreciated.’ They teased each other ‘in an obvious effort to prolong the stimulatee’s high levels of sexual excitation.’”
+ Three in 10 people aged 25-34 now spend lots of time living at home, up from 1 in 10 in the 1980s. But having sex in your childhood bedroom can be awkward. There’s hiding it from your parents, hiding it when you discover you don’t need to hide it from your parents, and having the dog pull a dental dam from the trash. According to Salon:
“Even if you live on your own, dating someone who lives at home can also present a set of complications. Katie, a 25-year-old writer in Los Angeles, says even though her girlfriend’s parents were fine with the arrangement, she sometimes wasn’t. ‘Her parents seemed totally cool about it. The first time I stayed over, I had to leave early in the morning to go to work. Next day, my girlfriend told me that her parents were joking about me sneaking out and that next time I should not be embarrassed and come say ‘hi’ and take some coffee.’”
+ Lesbian and bi women are four times more likely to have exercise-induced orgasms at the gym, according to a study from Indiana University and some applied math by Jezebel:
“Only 69% (yes, proceed with your giggling IF YOU MUST) of clandestine gymnasium-pleasure-havers are heterosexual? Does that seem weirdly low to anyone else? That means, if we go with the rough standard that 10% of the population is non-heterosexual, that lesbian and bisexual women are four times likelier to experience exercise-induced sexual pleasure. What? Why? Why in the world are non-hetero ladies squat-thrusting and clean-jerking themselves to orgasm four times more often than heteros? Am I missing something? Either lesbians (and bis — I do not forget you, bis) are just really into online questionnaires, or acoustic jock-jamz are the best aphrodisiac ever.”
The types of exercise most likely to give you orgasms include and abdominal exercises (especially the one where you support your weight on your forearms in a weird pseudo-chair padded thing and lift your knees to your chest), biking/spinning, and pole climbing. This is probably a good place to speculatively mention Jillian Michaels.
+ Having good sex after sexual abuse:
“‘The most important thing is “making a connection between the present day sexual problems and the abuse of the past,’ says Maltz, author of ‘The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse’ […] The next crucial step […] is talking to a therapist who can help you sort through what you’ve experienced and how it’s affected you, and not just in the bedroom.
The biggest challenge ahead of you, in terms of experiencing sexual pleasure, is redefining sex and your own sexuality. (No small task, I know.) Maltz says that ongoing abuse reinforces sex ‘as what you experienced in the abuse.’ She explains, ‘Survivors often feel that they’re bad or an object or damaged goods, and you kinda have to shed that and separate yourself from what was done to you to see that your sexuality was there before the abuse.’ As a result, oftentimes survivors approach ‘sex from a place of not feeling as empowered as their partner or desirous of what is happening,’ and then continue to reinforce a dynamic reminiscent of the original abuse. ‘Developing a new meaning for sex and developing a new sexual self-concept’ is key, Maltz says.”
+ Projects, Structure and Protocol: Three Mechanisms for 24/7/d/s by the sex geek:
“So my job, as a dominant in two 24/7 relationships, is to govern with my bois’ well-being and fulfillment in mind while enjoying the fuck out of myself; their job, as the submissives, is to be receptive and obedient to that governance, and to fully engage in the process by means of honest communication, feedback, suggestion, questions as needed, and so forth. While enjoying the fuck out of themselves, of course.”
+ Match.com, eHarmony, and Spark Networks signed a joint statement to protect their users against “sexual predators, identity theft, and financial scams.” The statement is non-binding, but does recognize the need to hold dating sites accountable for their members’ safety.
+ Using the word “normal” when talking about sex is problematic, but possibly not for the reasons you would think. Here’s why:
“Using normality to alleviate sexual shame is like using capitalism to alleviate poverty. Capitalism creates, distributes, and requires poverty. Sexual normalcy creates, distributes, and requires sexual shame. There is no capitalism without poverty. And there is no sexual normalcy without sexual shame.
This means, among other things, that the problem with normal isn’t just that it’s too narrowly defined. The problem is systemic; it’s built right into the concept. After all normality itself is defined more by what it isn’t, by what is considered abnormal, than it is defined by what it is. Definitions of deviant or exceptional sexuality precede definitions of normal sexuality. We came up with the construct of homosexuality before heterosexuality, the publicly articulated identity transgender preceded that of cisgender. Normal relies on the marginalization of some to define others. Adding to those in the center doesn’t stop the force of pushing others to the margins. And simply telling people on the margins that they’re actually in the center doesn’t alleviate the very real pressures pushing them out if it.”
+ The Map of Human Sexuality: now both a figure of speech and an actual map on the internet. Countries and regions include the Great Barrier Mountains, The Land of D/s, Erotic Massage, Gender and Orientation Identity, and Impact Play, among many many others.
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