Feature image of Mistress Kara and Stephanie Special via Crash Pad Series. All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Marquita Pring, Ashley Graham, Julie Henderson via body positivity
+ Burlesque and the occult, both vehicles for women’s empowerment, have long come together in satanic burlesque through costuming, characters, props and more. At Dirge, Haleigh Schiafo writes:
“Occult practices encourage personal expression, indulgence, and freedom of sexuality. This is so attractive to women in a world that shames them for their bodies and sexual expression. Burlesque praises this expression in very similar ways. People of all shapes, sizes, races, and genders are encouraged to take their clothes off and celebrate themselves. Satanic burlesque is the perfect embodiment of empowerment, unapologetic hedonism, and sexual glorification.”
Zayn for Leather Coven via black queer and kinky
+ What porn do people search for on Halloween? “Costume fantasy,” “slutty halloween,” and “costume orgy” are in the lead.
+ When should you tell your friends and family that you’re polyamorous? At Bitch, Bear discusses overcoming cultural narratives, how to tell someone news, the difference between a reaction and a response, that “coming out” isn’t a necessary marker and more.
+ Magic can help your sex and love life because it’s a way of connecting with your own energy:
“Spells that improve your love life do exist but should be used on a case-by-case basis, as I learned from Bri Luna, aka the Hoodwitch. ‘[You] are the beginning of all sex and love workings,’ she says. ‘If we don’t respect or appreciate our own bodies, there is no possible way that we’ll ever attract a worthy partner that respects or values us.’
You can start this process by doing something as simple as turning to rose quartz. The Hoodwitch says these crystals ‘aid in the opening of the heart space’ and can be enhanced with rose oil or ‘submerged into bath water with rose petals, jasmine flowers, [and/or] hibiscus.’ The Hoodwitch adds that rose quartz is also used as ‘a stone of reconciliation and releasing past trauma.’”
Mistress Kara and Stephanie Special via Crash Pad Series
+ A Good Sex in Fiction Award, in response to the long-running Bad Sex in Fiction Award, will aim to end the compartmentalization of sex in literature. (Its creators seem to believe that shitting all over pornography is a necessary part of the endeavour.)
+ Sometimes having sex even when you don’t necessarily feel like it to start, “maintenance-sex style,” can still be a good idea.
+ Anal sex is not supposed to hurt.
Ashley Graham via lasmujeresrealestienencurvas
This perspective bugs me: “‘If we don’t respect or appreciate our own bodies, there is no possible way that we’ll ever attract a worthy partner that respects or values us.”
If people are struggling with feeling unworthy, reinforcing the idea that others won’t respect them either until they change is not very compassionate.
This so much.
I can’t second this enough. As a person that struggles with mental illness the “no one will love/respect/value you until you love/respect/value yourself” narrative has been nothing but harmful to me, really.
I love Autostraddle and I love most of this post but as a rape survivor and someone with PTSD I found the article about having sex when you “don’t necessarily want to at first” hugely problematic. Although they say it shouldn’t be out of obligation, the items in the list suggest otherwise. “Sex makes your partner happy” and “Sex is good for your relationship” are giant red flags thinly disguised as education. I expect better from an otherwise awesome site.
I think the basic idea got lost in translation a bit. I think they meant more along the lines of “my partner is horny right now but I’m not. So I’ll get them off making them feel loved and their needs valued even tho I don’t want to get off right now.”
Agreed. I think there’s a big difference between not being interested in sex, period, and not being interested in receiving/giving. Sometimes you just want one and not the other… and that’s okay, and can be really liberating from our ideas of what sex should be.
As a translesbian that has not had SRS, anal sex is very important to me, and a very wonderful feeling with my gf. The link to “anal sex should not hurt” has a lot of good information. Relaxing ….like concentrated relaxing of your bottom muscle is very important , and helpful. Also, finding a lube that stays slippery, does lose its slippery feeling.
I think the easiest position is spooning because you are able to totally relax, and use your hand to guide your partner.
And last, yes, please don’t base your thinking on the anal sex porn! Anal sex can be a most sensual and emotionally intimate love between two people.